//------------------------------// // Episode 16: HEYEYEYEYEAAAA! HEYEYEYEYEAAAA! I SAID-NYEHHH! // Story: I Have No Mouth, and I Must Squee ( A Comment Driven Story) // by Down with Chrysalis //------------------------------// As you and Gilda stare at each other tensely you can't help but think, Weird, feels like we've been staring at each other for four months. I wonder wh-NO WAIT FOCUS ON HOW CANON’S ALL OUT OF WHACK FIRST! Quickly shaking your head to clear your thoughts you... Panic Begin to do what you do best, freak the f@#k out! You jump up from your sitting position and begin to run around your cell while swinging your arms around. Gilda's eyes widen at this as she says, "Whoa hey man calm down! I'll come back a visit once in awhile ya know?" You ignore cat-bird’s attempts to comfort you as you begin to bang your head against the wall, thinking after each bang, HOW*bang*DID*bang*THIS*bang*HAPPEN?*bang*Oh I feel dizzy... You fall backwards after your head decides it has had enough of meeting the wall repeatedly. Gilda looks at your downed form in worry. "Dang man if I knew you cared that much I would have..." she trails off in dejection, but she isn’t really at the forefront of your mind right now. Okay, now that that is out of my system...okay nope still panicking. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! You grab your head and pull on your hair as you begin to rock back and forth. "Okay dude...you’re starting to freak me out. Can ya...can ya please knock it off?!" Gilda shouts in concern. Her words finally reaches your more sensible brain parts, and you do the one thing that always manages to snap you out of your panic attacks. *slap**slap**slap* A good couple of slaps later finds you back to your slightly insane, yet less panicked self. "Okayyyy...you fine now?" she says unsurely. You look at Gilda for a solid couple of seconds before doing a 'maybe' gesture. Okay. Enough freaking out now, there’s plenty of that coming later. Right now, I gotta figure out a way to get out of here, or at least to warn everyone. If all the ponies are more xenophobic because of me, this might not end well for Zecora. And with that, you… Kazuma Michishige's Comment MagicLover2128’s Comment DenneyLaw’s Comment Do the only thing you can do. You start convulsing, and begin drawing on your notepad. Thankfully, Gilda realizes what's going on as her eyes widen, "Hey guard ponies!" She shouts, "Skeletor's having another vision!" Foxtrot and O’Carrol rush over and witness your sick sketching skills. With your drawings, you then describe Poison Joke, making sure to draw it as accurately as possible. You color it in with blue crayon for good measure. You then show a danger symbol next to it with a small arrow pointing to the plant and several exclamation points. You then use another fresh page to display and draw the various members of the Main 6 and what will happen to them if they come into contact with this plant, and you try to desperately convey that Zecora is not to blame by putting her face in a circle with a line through it. You try to draw out more detail, but your wrist flares up from all the rapid fire sketches and you stop drawing and convulsing. Well, hopefully this is enough you think as you hand the pictures to Foxtrot who looks at them for a minute before looking back at you, "Is something going to happen to this zebra and the Elements?" You nod, with your neck muscles twinging from the head banging earlier, and she gains a worried expression. "Look, I still don't believe your visions completely, but I'll be sure to keep an eye on them today with O'Carrol alright?" she turn to leave the cell and you reach your hand out towards her in desperation. No no no! You need get them now so they don't make this situation worse! ...Ugh! Stupid Useless Voice Box! Sighing, you look over to Gilda who is still looking at you in worry and confusion. Okay cat bird, I need you now more than ever! With that you force your aching wrist to draw out pictures showing how the Elements are already infected with the poison joke and that Zecora is the only one who can cure them. You show next to Zecora’s head a bottle of green potion with a checkmark above it. Oh please, oh please understand. If I get in good with the Shaman, she might be my best chance for speaking again. Of course with your luck, Gilda misunderstood your intentions. "So what you’re saying is, this creepy zebra used those dumb looking flowers to put a curse on them? And she's blackmailing them to do her bidding or she won't fix them? Well, we'll see how scary she is when I go cram them down her throat!!! Thanks for the warning there Skeletor." And before you can correct her, she flies off to presumably do just that. Your two guards look at the fleeing griffon for a few moments before both shrug. DAMNIT! You facepalm. Now she's gonna infect Zecora AND herself. And blackmail!? Where the hell do my pictures even suggest that!? You try to get your Guards’ attention, but they talk amongst themselves. “Alright Oak, I want you to go and check up on the Element Holders while I watch him…just in case alright?” He smirks a little at that. “Just in case huh? Totally not because you believe him?” “N-No…Definitely not, don’t be ridiculous,” she stammers. No! Don’t send your boyfriend out there! He might get infected too! You think in frustration as they don’t see you flailing your arms about. UGH! How could this get any worse? First I get thrown in jail again, then we skip two whole episodes, and next comes evil ravenous fairies! In truth, you know exactly who’s to blame for these shenanigans. Blame the discontinuity on the gods of continuity Beast Man, and make an attempt to break out of your cell when they inevitably leave you inside. Curse you Beastman! How did you get ranked above Trap Jaw and Mer-Man?! Why must you always cause me untold amounts of headaches even when you’re not in this universe nor even know me?! Wait...if Beastman is messing with my life now does that mean he's some sort of trans dimensional being or-UGH I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS! For once you're the one who interrupts your mental ranting as you once again try to break out of your jail cell. Gotta stop this from getting worse! You groan as you try to pry the bars back like some sort of strongman. Unfortunately, cartoon logic still does not apply to you, and you struggle uselessly. “NYEH!” you shout in frustration which shocks not only Foxtrot and O’Carrol, but you as well. Wait a minute…I can still say Nyeh? Foxtrot and O'Carrol look at you, somewhat fearfully. “That’s…that’s the noise he made last night,” O’Carrol explains. “Yeah…I heard it even on the other side of town,” Foxtrot shudders. Oh Come On! Don’t you two start being afraid of me! Nyeh is all I can say! You frown at them. "Um...he looks pretty panicked. Don't you think we should let him out or something?" O’Carrol asks. Foxtrot shakes her head at this before saying, "Even if I wanted to let him out, we can't. Remember it’s more for his safety then anypony else's till the princess gets here in a few days. If we let him out now it'll only cause more problems for us and him." O'Carrol looks conflicted for a moment before nodding his head. “Alright ma’am…Listen Skeletor, don’t panic. I’ll make sure that the Mare’s are Okay. Sit tight,” he then trots out the door and you face palm even harder. Realizing that your attempts to break out are no good and that the escorts are of no help you give an airy sigh before you lean against the wall, grab your head and think, Guess there's nothing to do but wait for Gilda to come back...if she comes back. You let out another sigh and look out your cell window. This just keeps on getting worse and worse. Stupid town ponies and their need to jump to conclusions... With nothing but your thoughts for company you begin to wait for Gilda's return...hopefully. SOME TIME LATER BrownDog's Comment After some time Gilda does eventually come back, followed shortly by O’Carrol who gives an all clear to Foxtrot. “Everything seems to be alright with the Mare’s, everything I’ve heard about this Zebra is second hand so-“ Before you can hear any more of what he’s learned, Gilda flies up to your cell smirking. “Hey bro, couldn’t find the Zebra to cram the flowers down her throat, but I brought some here in case she comes back,” she says as she tosses you a bundle of blue flowers. Thanks to reflex (and probably Beastman), you grab them before your mind processes what is happening. NOOO! Damn it Gilda, what have you done?! “Whoa, what’s up with you? They don’t have thorns or anything. If they do belong to her though, I’ve put a dent in her garden,” she smirks again. You frantically flip the pages of your notepad the poison joke drawing and you add the universal symbol of poison, although you change the human skull to a pony’s. You then point between it and the flowers. “Wait a minute, these things are poisonous?!” Gilda shrieks and you nod. She starts panting and looks at her talons. “I’m gonna…I’m gonna go wash my talons and visit the pharmacy,” she says nervously and flies out, causing you to facepalm, only realizing you’ve pushed blue petals into your face. Aw crap… “Um, Skeletor?” O’Carrol interrupts, “If those are indeed poisonous then perhaps you should hand them over before they harm you?” It’s too late for that copper! You think in dread as you immediately shove the flowers down the toilet before they can infect more ponies. “…Or that works too I suppose,” he says while Foxtrot actually giggles at the display. This is no laughing matter! Who knows what’s going to happen to me! What if I grow flippers! What if I get turned into a woman?! What if…What if…Oooohhhh...*THWUMP* your panicking and hyperventilating has served one useful purpose it seems. You mercifully pass out. THE NEXT DAY Kazuma Michishige's Comment (When he eventually gets poison joke'd) One of the following occurs: 1.Skeletor becomes the splitting image of He-man, and starts acting like him when he isn't paying close attention. After a night of dreamless sleep, you wake up, somewhat cautious about what awaits you today. You are so cautious in fact, that you do not immediately open your eyes. Oh God, Oh God, Oh God…Okay, Okay. Let’s just feel things out. You start moving your hands and fingers towards your face, so you know that you haven’t lost your communicators. Okay, good so far. Face still feels…facey, still have hair, a nose and ears. My chest is still broad, my abs are still pronounced and…Wait a minute… You open your eyes and look down at your body…and you are ripped. Daaammmnnn, you think in awe as you look over yourself. Arms as thick as tree trunks, with muscles forged out of pure titanium flex and bulge. Abs so hard you could grind diamonds to dust with them- Holy Hell! This is what’s considered a joke around here? Because this is awesome! I’ve got the peak body that I’ve always…No! Oh God No! your distraction via your own manliness comes to a crashing halt as you notice the clothing you are wearing. You are now wearing a white full sleeve muscle shirt and a pink vest, light purple pants and purple boots. Oh God…Please No... You know who you are, but you need to check one last thing. You bring a shaky hand to your head and grab some of your hair to pull it into view. Thick, golden locks. You open your mouth to scream in horror, but instead, this: comes out. Once you are done singing, you fall down to your knees unable to react to what just happened. I'm, you think in dread, I'm He-man. BrownDog's Comment NNNNNOOOOOOO!!! THAT’S NOT TRUE! THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE!!! And you panic as the singing comes forth again, and you start crying in front of the mirror. “What was that noise? Who’s singing so loud- Creature!” Foxtrot shouts in bewilderment at the room’s entrance. “What happened to your body and hair?” Death Foxy! Death is what’s happened! “A-Are you feeling Okay?” O’Carrrol asks in shock. “I mean, your face looks the same somewhat, but the rest of you…You look nothing like yourself Skeletor.” Because Skeletor isn’t supposed to look this fabulous! I’m not even fully He-Man, I’m just Prince Adam! This is THE! WORST! POSSIBLE! THING!!! You then start openly bawling into your massive hands. Your guards are understandably very, very confused. “I-Wha-How could this have happened Oak?” Foxtrot asks. “I…I don’t…Some of the mares yesterday were talking about curses. I didn’t put much stock into that, but now…” Oh What Does It Matter?! You try to shout which comes out as “Heyehyehyeh!” which makes you cry even harder. Sure I’m ripped, sure I’m even taller now, but I don’t want to be He-Maaaannnn *Sob* Hyperventilating and sobbing, you catch one more view of yourself into the mirror and pass out again. This time however, your rest is not dreamless… IN YOUR DREAMS You have the absolute worst nightmare possible. And wake up screaming...which comes out as "HEYEYEYEYEAAAA!!!” “Oh Good, he’s awake again,” comes Foxtrot’s voice. As you sit up, you accidentally break the sink with your immense strength (and head) and water starts spraying around you. But you pay this no mind, for that Nightmare still haunts you. No way! No freaking way! Lord Skeletor will never swing that way! Even if this body is fabulous, I WON'T!!! You quickly stand up, ignoring your escorts’ shocked looks, as you think, Okay think man, think! There has to be someway I can fix thi- Before you can even finish that thought the door to the jail is burst open. You and your escorts look over to the door in shock to see the Elements in all of their Poison Joked glory show up led by Gilda…who looks absolutely fine. “Skeletor! Not you too!” Twilight Flopple gasps. “What in the world is going on?” asks Foxtrot at their appearance. “We’ve been cursed by that Zebra and- Whoa! *CRASH*” Rainbow Crash flies into another cell’s bed with her upside down wings. “A Curse?” O’Carrol says. “I knew it! I knew Skeletor’s change was way too drastic!” Spitty Pie holds her hooves up to her cheeks with sad eyes as she takes in your new, hideous form and rushes towards you with a hug. She doesn’t even stop to open the cell door, she somehow impossibly squeezes her way through the bars and wraps her legs around your leg as water cascades around you. Bending down, you hug her back and cry as well. “What is it? What is happening? I can’t quite see?” Hairity says trying to see through her dreads. “He’s gotten bigger and his hair changed color,” Flutterguy warbles deeply. “Well that doesn’t sound too bad,” Hairity points out. “HEYAAYAAYAAYAAA!!!” your cursed voice sings causing them all to pause. “…I immediately take that back,” the hairy fashionista apologizes. “Skeletor! You have to come with us,” Twilight informs as she presses her face up against the bars. “Applebloom and Applejack have gone back out into the woods. All of us have been affected by Zecora’s curse, and we have to get her to stop this!” “Correctomundo Friendo!” Gilda says enthusiastically before giggling like Pinkie Pie. “Oh my gosh this is so fun. Personally though I think Skelly looks much better in this form. Think of how much more scratches he can give.” She then starts bouncing up and down. AAAHHHH!!! The poison joke turned Gilda into a more hyperactive Gabby! You scream internally. Screw this! I need that bubble bath NOW! You then pick up Pinkie, turn around and, much to everypony’s shock, kick a hole through the concrete wall and rush out, heading towards the Everfree. Spitty Pie looks up to you in amazement. “Mmmg?” she asks as your new, even taller body runs full sprint through town. I have no clue Pinkie, I didn’t even know that would work. Though I admit, immense strength is awesome all, but I still look like a jackass! As you run you notice just how fast you’re going, and while it isn't super speed it is definitely faster than your norm. This of course causes some of the nearby ponies to look at your immense running form in either shock, awe, fear, or all three. I'll worry about you ponies later! For now I need to focus on getting rid of these awful clothes and hair and- Wait a minute, Where the Hell Am I?! You come to a screeching halt within the Everfree, realizing you have absolutely no idea where her hut is. Damnit! Stupid filthy He-Man Brain! Why have you betrayed me?! You anguish. “Hmmph?” Pinkie Pie asks in your arms. You mime looking left and right then shrug. She looks around then puts a hoof to her chin in contemplation before her eyes sparkle and she points towards your left, deeper into the woods. Okay, thanks Pinkie, you think as you give her a pat on the head and start running again. Unbeknownst to you, that gentle pat wasn’t so gentle with your new strength and the poor mare is knocked out. Maybe you would have noticed if not for some seemingly random thought that pops into your mind. Sunset Kusanagi's Comment Realize that if you want to speak with Zecora properly, you need to do it in rhymes. Everything that you draw or emote has to rhyme. Wait, if I want to speak with Zecora, Will I have to do it all in rhymes? How do I speak in rhymes with drawings? It's one of the many mysteries that you shelve on your mental archive of "Look into Later". You really should get a new archive, as ever since you came to Ponyland, it is getting steadily full. ...I really need to stop going off in mental tangents. You think with a sigh as you focus back on the important matter at hand. Or, hoof. Claw... Whatever. After running in the direction Pinkie gave you for awhile, you finally see flickers of light. Pushing through the brush, you see Zecora’s Tree Hut in all of it’s glory. You even catch a glimpse of Applebloom’s red tail disappearing deeper down the trail. Finally! You cheer as you rush right through her door without knocking, startling the striped Equine. “Who are you?! What is going on?! If you’re here for money, I have none!” she shrieks and backs away from your massive form. Oh crap! I’ve just broken into her house looking like the worst thing possible! You facepalm. I gotta fix this fast! You get down on your knees in a submissive stance and place Pinkie Pie in front of her. She seems confused at first before you hold up praying hands and point to your voice and let loose the horrible singing. Please fix me Voodoo Zebra, Please! I can’t stand looking and sounding like- Kersey's Comment Kazuma Michishige's Comment BrownDog's Comment *WHACK* You are interrupted as a staff strikes you between the eyes. What the hell?! You think more in surprise than pain. The panicked Zebra continues to strike at you and your horrible singing mouth. "You with the golden hair, Please bring me no despair, Your stupid wailing is too much to bear, So keep your catchy song out of my nightmares!" Truthfully, you can’t blame her for wanting to stop the singing, even if it is sickeningly catchy. Fortunately for you, the staff has little effect on your body, due to it being made of pure Eternian Muscle. Alright, alright, calm down lady! You catch the staff, but it shatters as soon as you grab it due to your manly strength. Zecora’s widen in fear and surprise and she shakily walks backwards from you. “Please don’t hurt me, I did not mean to offend, But hear my plea, Don’t let me hear that song again!” Is everything in this world going to be scared of me? You think sourly. You decide to get to the point and pull out the drawing of poison joke you made and tap on it repeatedly. Zecora looks at the picture and then looks at you. “So you are a victim of the flower too?” she asks and you nod vigorously pointing to your mouth, hair, and whole body. “Oh…well if you’ll forgive me, then I’ll prepare my cure for you.” You nod and giver her a thumbs up, which she has no idea what it means. She looks over your massive form hunched in her hut, before walking away muttering under her breath, “I’m going to need a lot of it too.” You sigh in relief as things seem to have worked out, and even close the door that’s barely hanging on it’s hinges. It’s then that you realize that this whole time, Pinkie Pie hasn’t said or moved from when you set her down. You shuffle over and examine her, only to see her eyes swirling and a massive goose egg on her head. Not again! you groan as you pet her head in comfort. How the heck did that even happen? The poor pink mare with the swollen blue tongue just groans in her sleep as you pet her. Why am I so good at hurting cute little dog sized horses? You harrumph. It’s only going to worse in this stupid form… And as you think that you realize something. Wait a second, I kicked through a solid concrete wall and ran here faster than five horses could. Even those stick whacks Zecora gave me didn’t really hurt. This body is very durable… Of course this body is an abomination. The golden locks, the pink vest and skin tight body suit, and of course the very fabulous singing…but still, the muscle mass and strength are welcoming. Skeletor himself is ripped, and without a study supply of meat, I won’t be seeing results like this anytime soon. All I need to get rid of is the hair, clothes and singing and I’ll be just fine. Puzzling Frost's Comment Even your previously sore wrist and neck feel fine. Where before there was pain, there’s only really a slight twinge of discomfort from having slept in a prison cell all night. Hmmm. Maybe I should crack my neck like in the movies now that I have this stronger body. You think to yourself as you tilt your head, then quickly look to the left. *CRACK* ….Oh hell yeah did that feel good! You think in pleasure as you start cracking your knuckles, wrists, and stretching your enormous body. After doing that and a few more basic stretches you can’t help but feel incredible. Okay, for sure, I need to keep the body but ditch everything else evil about it. For what’s more rewarding than taking over your very foe’s being? I will use your roided out bod for my purposes now He-Man! Nyehahaha!!! And while trying to laugh to your heart’s content, the singing returns and you hear Zecora yelp and the sound of glass breaking further in the house. Clamping your mouth shut you wince at your mistake. Okay, Okay, calm down. First need to fix the wrongness before I can gloat. Now hopefully Beast Man won’t somehow screw this up as well. You then lay down, using Pinkie as a pillow while you wait for Zecora to bring back more ingredients. Hmmm. Wonder how this is going to play out with me here? Are the ponies going to freak out still thinking that Zecora’s a cannibal? I guess I could draw a picture with all of us as friends to avoid that. You then pull out your pad and start drawing Zecora, You, Pinkie and the rest holding hooves/hands and laughing. At least my drawing skills haven’t faded. And if this doesn’t work, I’ll just have another prediction to convince them. Hmmmm… Kersey's Comment You realize that many of your predictions have been ones of impending doom, what with the Ursa and the sick ponies and what not. If I keep only ‘predicting’ bad things, these stupid skittish ponies will fear them as well. I don’t need any more ammo in the hate against me, and I doubt I’m going to be in their good graces for awhile, but hopefully I can play damage control. The last thing I need is more reasons for me to become a lawn ornament. You then begin to 'predict' a few good things that'll happen in the future. You make sure to draw them in the back of your notebook so you don't accidently show them off early, and you make sure to only draw stuff from season one for now, just in case anyone decides to get too curious with your notebook (*cough*Twilight*cough*) Okay, competing Rainbow and Applejack, Twilight commanding Winter Wrap Up, Applebloom meeting Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo… you mark off as you sketch. You just finish drawing Rarity's dresses for the Grand Galloping Gala (the good ones at least) when you hear the clinking of many jars. Raising your head from your Pinkie pillow, you see Zecora returning from the back room with a sack full of more ingredients. She sees you over Pinkie and raises an eyebrow. “Do tell, is that mare affected too?” she asks and you nod. “Well, go ahead and stick her in the brew,” she motions towards the cauldron. “It’s the right temperature for ponies I assume, But first we’ll have to wait for Applebloom.” You shrug, not finding any fault in that logic and plop Pinkie into the cauldron with her head above the water. She seemingly sighs in her sleep, which makes her swollen tongue raspberry. You chuckle at first before you realize something. Wait, that’s the line that made the Mane 6 think she was eating Applebloom. Are they outside the do- And then the door Zecora's hut bursts open again, flying off it’s hinges from the earlier damage. “Skeletor No!” Twilight yells. “Don’t eat Pinkie Pie! You have to break through Zecora’s spells!” “What is the meaning of this you four?! You’ve just broken my door!” the angry Zebra demands. Twilight, Rarity, Gilda and Fluttershy all take up defensive positions. “We’re here to stop you Zecora! We won’t let you ea-Huh?” Twilight stops her rant as you hold your sketch of everyone holding hooves out to her. “Skeletor! We can’t be her friends! She cursed us and is going to eat Pinkie!” Twilight exclaims. You roll your eyes and pat Pinkie on the head, showing that she’s fine. “But…what about-“ Twilight starts, but then Rainbow Crash, being steered by Appletini comes in and starts making more of a ruckus. Before Rainbow can knock over the cauldron though, you grab her out of the air and stick her in the pot next to Pinkie. “Ah!" “No! Bad Skeletor! We don’t eat our friends!” Gilda screeches. Shut up and get into the pot you dummies! You frown as you start trying to grab the others. While you plop Hairity in the pot, and Twilight Gilda and Fluttershy try to run from you, Zecora just stares at the whole scenario in shock as tiny Applejack wrestles with her ear. “Wh-Why is this happening to me today? I just…I…What the Hay?!” Zecora grumbles as more things start to break. The shenanigans are interrupted though when an adorable voice is heard. "Hey Zecora, ah got th-what in tarnation!?" Looking behind you see Applebloom looking at the whole situation in shock. From her point of view, she sees you flopping Flutterguy in the cauldron with Rainbow, Rarity and Pinkie, while Gilda and Twilight pound at your leg, and Zecora stares wide mouthed with her big sister trying to rip her ear off. Looking back and forth between the filly and the cauldron ponies you suddenly realize how bad it looks. You airily chuckle nervously as you hold up your hand and think, Hehehe...I can explain? SOMETIME LATER BrownDog's Comment Thankfully Applebloom and Zecora did all the talking since, well…you know? But once everyone was on the same page about the Poison Joke, you all proceeded to the spa. That is, after Zecora was given her ingredients of course. The spa sisters were only semi-reluctant to let you in, but you consider that a victory as its better than them straight up denying you access to their place of business. Inside, Zecora whipped up her Poison Joke cure into their largest baths, since she factored in your size. Though all this effort is for naught when you don’t get in with everypony else. Sorry Zecora, but I’m not getting rid of this body. I’ll need it if I’m to survive in this foolish world. You instead take a cup, dip it into the water and down it. It’s salty, and tastes distinctly like crushed herbs and horse hair, but other than that it goes down pretty smoothly. “Is he drinking our bathwater?” Rarity asks in disgust. You look back at her and the others with the glass still to their lips while the others look at you like you’re some kind of pervert. You just roll your eyes and flip them all the bird and keep drinking, which causes Gilda to laugh. “What? Do you know what that gesture means?” asks Twilight. “Huh? You don’t know? Well it means-“ you throw your cup at Gilda to get her to stop talking. “Dude!” she growls as she rubs her cheek, but you hold up your hand to shush her as you ready a breath. Alright, here goes nothing. You open your mouth and, “HeyyeyeyeyeeeeeeNNNNYYYYEEEEHHH!!!” your annoying singing comes back out as the only sound you’ve been able to make in this land. The only reasonable sound you can possibly make. “Ooohhhh,” the mares say in understanding. Yes! I get to keep the body and I don’t sound like an idiot. Still can’t talk, but Nyeh is good enough! Take that He-Man! Your body are belong to us! You then strip and throw the Prince Adam clothes into the bath, and they come back out as your poncho and underwear. You quickly put the soaking clothes back on when you realize that they are the only things keeping you decent however. The ponies don’t even seem to care, just like that time with Rainbow and the shower. Shrugging at this, you look down at the purple boots. Well…they are the epitome of awfulness…but I’m sick of hobo shoes. You win this round He-Man’s wardrobe. With those two abominations taken care of, you decide to deal with the last one while looking in the mirror. The hair is way too much. That style was old even back in the eighties. It’s time you laid it to rest. Look at you. You whore slut bitch. You don’t deserve those golden locks. I’m gonna shave the whore off of you! You chide your reflection as you take a pair of scissors out of Rarity’s saddle bags and try to clip away the evilness. Instead of the glorious snipping noise though, you hear a crack. Pulling the scissors away from your scalp, you see them bent and broken, and not one strand of hair has been harmed. “NYEH!!!” you shout at the inconvenience, startling the others, and causing the spa sisters to run out of the room screaming. “Skeletor! What’s wrong?” asks Pinkie Pie. “And what have you done with my scissors?” Rarity growls. Oh this is such bullshit! I don’t want this fabulous hairdo! You groan as you throw the scissors across the room. You then walk back towards the bath, while everyone looks at you in apprehension, and you gingerly, and carefully dunk only your head into the water. When you pull it back out and look into the mirror, you’re proud to see that the luscious locks are gone, and your dull brown hair has returned. Yes! Yes! I’ve done it! I don’t look like a jackass anymore! I’m ripped and strong and…sleepy. So very sleepy. Your eyes droop as you are hit by a wave of drowsiness and you fall to the ground. “Nyeh,” you moan as you pass out. Dreamland comes soon after, but unlike the last few days where it’s been wrought with Nightmares… Denneylaw's Comment You instead have a very, very enjoyable dream. Truly your obsession with Skeletor might be a tad bit too...well obsessive. At least that’s what you would think if you were insane. Luckily you are not insane, only crazy, and you know that it’s perfectly healthy to manifest your personality on an eighties cartoon character meant to sell a toy line. And while you fall further into your delusions, the world outside keeps turning. MEANWHILE IN THE WAKING WORLD We find the Mane Six and Gilda giving your slumbering form different looks of confusion and awkwardness as you quietly give happy 'nyehs' as you sleep. "Awwwww...isn't that just adorable! Skelly looks so comfortable I could just snuggle with him right now!" Well, most of the Mane Six that is. Applejack sends Pinkie unsure look as she says, "Ah don't know if 'comfortable' is the right word I'd use. He just kind of passed out and slammed head first into the ground." "I...I don't think he seems to mind it," Fluttershy points out, seeing your smile. From the other room, Zecora’s voice calls, “By the way ponies, do not attempt to ingest my brew, Otherwise swift dreams will come to you.” “Yeah, thanks, we figured that out,” Gilda calls back. The others go back to staring at your sleeping form for awhile before Rainbow asks, "So what now?" Twilight sighs before saying, "Well they’re still fixing the hole Skeletor put into the cell, so we can't bring him back there, and he refuses to change his body back to normal, so I doubt that place could hold him." "Yeah,” Pinkie nods a bit sadly. “And as much as I would love to let him stay at my place tonight, the townsponies are still a bit..." "Scared?" "T-terrified?" "Afraid?" Pinkie seems to deflate with each word her friends give to describe your situation before she says, "I was gonna say jumpy ya know?” "Well what are you ponies gonna do?” Gilda sighs, giving her piece. “You can't just leave him here after all.” “No we can’t,” Twilight agrees. “And until Princess Celestia arrives next week, we have no idea what’s going to happen to him. We just have to keep an eye on him, and make sure he doesn’t hurt anypony, or anypony hurts him.” “What about the guards? Why doesn’t he stay with them?” asks Rainbow. “Officers Foxtrot and O’Caroll currently are staying at a hotel,” Twilight points out. “I don’t think the staff will put up with him. “Do you think it’s weird that they didn’t even come into the Everfree with us? It’s like that mare is afraid of it or something,” Gilda says in thought. “Alright, so the guards are out, why not have him stay at the farm?” Applebloom chimes in. “Sugarcube, the last thing we need is fearful ponies coming around the farm with torches,” Applejack points out. “And it’s not like he can stay at my place, I live in the clouds,” Rainbow points out. “How about you Flutters?” “I…Well…I wouldn’t mind really, it’s just that…That noise he makes. I don’t want him to startle my animals,” Fluttershy responds. “And the Cakes don’t want him staying over while everypony’s scared. They say it would be bad for business,” Pinkie deflates. “And I’m going to be pretty busy with Princess Celestia’s welcoming ceremony. The last thing I need is him home alone with Grogar’s Staff,” Twilight shudders. The ponies put on thinking faces as they all try to find a way to solve this predicament. It isn't even a few moments later when Rarity's eyes suddenly widen and sparkle as she says, "Ladies I do believe I have a solution to our problem!" The others look at Rarity in curiosity as Rarity begins to explain her plan, while you unconsciously twitch in your sleep as a sudden feeling of dread washes over you. SOME TIME LATER I didn’t touch the fireworks Sis, I swear! You bolt upright, startling yourself out of sleep. You slowly catch your breath as you realize this isn’t the WalMart Incident. Sighing in relief, you look around your darkened surroundings and see faceless equines staring at you. “Nyeh!” you cry out as you stumble in the dark. What the hell is this Silent Hill nightmare? You cry in shock. As your eyes attune to the dim light however, you notice that these faceless ponies are all wearing fancy clothing. Wait a minute, am I…? You look from the mannequins, to where you were sleeping and see a very familiar fainting couch. Well that settles it, I’m in Carousal Boutique. Now the question is why? Rarity seems like the last pony to let me crash at her place. You then spy a vanity mirror and check yourself out. You are still ripped like an Eternian, but your Moon poncho (now a little tighter on you) is a much better look. Somehow, the purple boots seem to compliment it. Looking good man. Looking Real Good, you flex and giggle. Now if only I was a few shades bluer… Suddenly the lights turn on. "Why good morning Mr. Skeletor, I thought I heard you awaken," comes her sing song voice. You look behind you and see the fashionista… and she has on a hard hat with a headlamp on it. Wait a second, you do a double take. “Good thing too, Spike will be here any moment,” she says as she trots over to you, a pick axe and shovel sticking out of her saddlebags which makes your eyes widen. “Anyway, after yesterday’s events, none of the other girls could watch over you, so instead I came up with a solution. You see, Spike and I are going gem hunting today, far away from other ponies, and we were hoping you would accompany us?” ... ... ... Oh you have got to be kidding me! WHAT DO YOU DO?