//------------------------------// // ...et ducit amorem aurorae // Story: Blonde Moments // by FamousLastWords //------------------------------// There are a few moments in every male’s life where life decides to smack him upside the head with a realization that he’d have never learned otherwise. One of those moments happened to Spike on this occasion. What was the realization that life saw fit to forcibly teach him? That in the face of a beautiful mare in a romantic setting, his once active, vibrant brain became  a substance of unintelligible mush. “Um, hiya there, Ditzy! Oops, I mean, Derpy!” Spike could only hope that the heat on his face was not visible to the blonde mare. “Hehe, hi there Spike,” she said. “Sorry, I’m a bit early. I wanted to leave room for extra time  just in case of traffic and whatnot.” Traffic? In Ponyville? Spike chalked it up to her inherent goofiness and decided against questioning her logic. Besides, he found something endearing about it. “No problem, Derpy,” Spike said, still sporting a goofy grin. “You look great!” He quickly jotted his eyes on her figure, hoping to notice something he could complement. “Did you shower… with extra conditioner?” Spike sorely wished he could capture those words and shove them back into the depths of his conscious from whence they came. Derpy pulled a hoof to her mouth to try and stifle a laugh. “Umm, no, but I did shower if that means anything.” Spike grinned back at her. “Oh, yeah, I totally did, too!” And once more with feeling did the awkwardness spread. “I mean that’s great! Oh, wait, that’s not right, I mean, uh…” Derpy had been content to just let him continue rambling in an attempt to regain his footing. If her occasional giggle served as any indication, she thought it was rather cute. However, after another moment or so of Spike attempting to communicate like a sentient being, she spoke up to give him some help. “Is it alright if I come inside?” Spike wiggled his head to shake off the nonsense that attempted to take over his mental faculties. “Oh, yeah! Totally. Come on in.” The dragon stepped aside, continuing to hold the door open for her. “Make yourself comfortable anywhere. Twilight and Starlight will be down in a bit so we can start eating.” Being the first coherent thing he’d said in the last five minutes, Spike couldn’t help but wear a proud smile. His words were lost on Derpy however as her eyes were wide, taking in the sights of the crystal castle home. Her head scanned the room, back in forth, her mouth agape all the while. Derpy flipped her body around to address Spike. “You live here? It’s so… beautiful! And amazing! And ginormous!” Spike continued smiling as he stepped forward next to the pegasus. “Yeah, it’s pretty great, right? I was thinking that if you had the time after dinner I could take you on a quick tour of the place. Is that cool?” “I’d love to!” Derpy practically shouted as her head snapped to look at the dragon. A look of pure elation etched across her face. The sight of her wonderment at his home made Spike’s heart melt. No matter how old somepony was, there was something kinda wonderful about seeing another individual happy. “Great!” Spike said. “But for now, let me give you a tour of the most important room in the castle: the dining room.” As if on cue, the two heard the sound of hoofsteps descending the stairs followed by the sight of Starlight and Twilight. “Hey, guys!” Starlight said with a wave. “Derpy, great to see you again.” “Hi!” She said with her own polite wave. “And, uh, hi Princess Twilight.” Derpy leaned toward Spike and whispered into his ear. “Do I need to bow? I can’t remember.” Spike shook his head. “Nah, for the purposes of tonight, we’re all just normal ponies. No titles or anything, alright.” Derpy blinked a few times before nodding. “Okay, thanks. That’ll make things less confusing.” Spike simply nodded but knew to keep his mouth shut as Twilight approached. He had, by some miracle from the heavens found himself  in her good graces already as far as the dinner date was concerned and he intended to keep it that way. “Good evening, Derpy,” Twilight politely said. Her voice carried her usual softness, but a dull edge snaked around the words, one that only her closest of friends could notice. “I’m glad you could come for dinner.” Derpy blushed. “Oh, well, Spike asked me if I could come and I really didn’t have anything going on. I’m really glad I did, though. Your castle is beautiful.” Twilight gave her a weak smile as if she wanted to question the validity of the compliment. “Well, I appreciate that. This is your first time seeing the castle from the inside, correct?” Derpy enthusiastically nodded. “Yes, ma’am. I’ve never really had the chance before.” “Yeah, it’s a pretty sweet dig,” Starlight stated, cutting in. “The structural design could’ve used a bit of work, though. I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I got lost when I first moved in.” Starlight turned to Spike. “Remember the time I walked in on you when you were showering? Talk about awkward.” Derpy covered her mouth, emitting a small chortle. Spike, as an appropriate response, gave Starlight the best evil eye he had. The dragon diligently darted to her side and pulled her ear to close enough to hear a whisper. “Starlight, you’re supposed to be my wingcolt, er, wingmare tonight. Please, keep the embarrassing stories to a minimum?” Starlight rolled her eyes and nodded. “Fine, I’ve got your back.” The two separated with equally innocent smiles before Spike decided it was high time to move the night forward, lest anything else happen to destroy his reputation. “Alright guys, if you ask me, it’s time to grab some grub. Anyone else think so?” Derpy and Starlight nodded in unison, followed by Twilight who wouldn’t spend more than a few seconds without casting a watchful eye on the blonde pegasus. Spike strode toward the kitchen with confidence. It was time. The four of them sat around the table, a large spread of taco shells and steaming vegetables awaiting them. Twilight and Starlight sat on one side, directly across from Spike and Derpy. Spike wasn’t sure about the romantic dinner standard for seating, but as far as he was concerned he wanted to sit next to Derpy. Social graces be damned. Derpy’s eyes widened as she took in the sight of the food spread. “Oh my gosh. I’ve never seen so much food in one area!” “I know, right?” Spike said, licking his lips. He immediately reached out to grab a taco shell but had his claw swatted away by Starlight. “Spike! Have you no manners?” Starlight glared at him. “Yes, but I also have an empty stomach. Instinct kinda took over, there.” “Be that as it may, you’ll wait your turn.” Starlight turned her attention to Derpy. “Go ahead and get your food, Derpy. As much as you would like.” “Really?” she asked, eyes managing to grow even wider. Starlight simply nodded, as well as Spike. “Oh, okay.” She reached over the table and grabbed a few tacos and loaded them with vegetables from the spicy tray. “Sorry, I’m just not used to food like this. It looks amazing.” “Well, I’m glad you think it looks good.” Starlight hummed a bit in pride. “Maybe I should do this cooking thing more often.” The group all grabbed their food, Spike waiting until last, as upsetting as it was. As they all dove into their food, only a little conversation was to be had. Not necessarily awkward given that their mouths were full of food, but some conversation would be nice. Spike racked his brain trying to come up with something to say to keep things lively. The last thing he needed was to give Derpy the impression that he and his family didn’t know how to have fun at home. Who wanted to spend time with a boring dragon? Finding a pony who wanted to be with a dragon of any variety was a challenge in of itself, much less a dull one. However, for better or for worse, Twilight beat him to the punch in the social department. Spike held his breath, fearing the words that may come out of her mouth. “So, Derpy,” Twilight stated. “How long have you lived in Ponyville?” Spike looked at the alicorn in shock. A normal question? What sort of sorcery was this? Derpy set down her taco and waited a brief moment to swallow her food before responding. “Oh, it’s been a little while. Seven or eight years now. I lived in Cloudsdale before.” “What brought you here?” Twilight continued. “Well, I needed a change of pace. Not to mention after the Rainbow Factory incident… I didn’t exactly have the best reputation.” Starlight set down her food. “Oh, this sounds like a story.” “Yes, do tell,” Twilight added. The pegasus shook her head. “You guys didn’t hear? I thought the word might’ve traveled to you, princess. Well, I’m not really sure what happened. I was working with the rainbow mixing team in the factory. I remember I was eating a sandwich and—” “While you were working?” Twilight asked. Derpy’s face heated up. “Shifts are long and I was hungry… Well, I tried to throw the crust away, but I guess I missed and it landed in a pool of rainbow mix and let’s just say honey wheat bread doesn’t mix well with rainbow. Before I knew it, the machine overloaded and the facility shut down for over a week. Suffice it to say I got fired the next day.” The sound of silence took a deathgrip on the table with no plans to release it. Of course, Spike had other ideas. “Well that sucks,” Spike said. And then the floodgates were opened. The four of them erupted into a fit of laughter. Any awkwardness that had been present before seemed like a thing of the past. Even Twilight herself couldn’t stop. The laughter went on for a bit longer before things finally started to settle down. Wiping tears from his eyes, Spike placed a claw on Derpy’s shoulder. “Sorry about that. It’s just… you don’t really hear about something like that happening every day.” “Y-Yeah, I guess not.” Derpy chuckled a bit, her eyes drawn down to the plate in front of her. “It’s pretty bad, huh?” “Are you kidding?” Spike asked. “That’s nothing compared to what the three of us have done.” Derpy looked over at him. “What do you mean?” “Well, we try to keep it on the down-low, but Starlight over there? She almost destroyed the entire fabric of time.” Spike received a cold glare from the unicorn in question. “Well, let’s not forget about you, Spike,” Starlight said with a sneer. “Wasn’t there that time you grew to the size of a mountain and terrorized the village? Or am I confusing you with another dragon in town?” Spike twiddled his fingers against the table. “Oh, wait, what’s that? There is no other dragon in town? Must’ve been you then.” “Oh yeah?” Spike retorted. “Let’s not forget your efforts to make hate-mongering and fascism relevant again.” Starlight leaned forward over the table. “Well how about your little stunt trying to take over for Twilight? I’m pretty sure you almost caused a war between the cities.” “Pfft, well you—” “Guys, guys!” Twilight shoved both of them back into their seats with a blast of magic. “You’re both terrible, okay?” The two looked at Twilight, then at each other. Starlight waggled her eyebrows at Spike before addressing Twilight. “Whatever you say, Ms. Want It, Need It.” “Spike!” Twilight squealed, shooting up out of her chair. “You told her?” “What can I say? I’m an equal-opportunity trash talker.” Twilight grumbled and sunk into her seat. All the while, Derpy made several failed attempts to control her own laughter, but found it increasingly difficult to do so. Spike let out a sigh and turned toward her. “So, the long and short of it is we’re all normal and make mistakes. If you can’t laugh at them, then you’ll never be able to—” Spike halted as he suddenly grabbed his side, an intense pain radiating.through his rib cage. “Ahh!” Twilight jumped up, knocking over her plate of food in the process. “Spike?! What’s wrong?” He waved her off with a claw. “Oh, nothing. Just… ugh, too much spicy food. I can’t resist it’s aura and this is my punishment.” Twilight shook her head. “No, Spike, we need to get you to a doctor and—” Starlight put a hoof on Twilight shoulder and gently pushed her back into the seat. “No, Twilight, it’s fine. I just probably put a bit too much chili powder in it. Or maybe it was the ghost peppers? Anyhow, you mix that with Spike’s natural flammable biology and you have a recipe for disaster.” Starlight winked at Spike very quick. Her ability to tame Twilight… a thing of pure beauty. Twilight inhaled a deep breath. “Okay, if you say so. You might try controlling yourself a little better next time.” Spike nodded. “I can’t help it! It’s just so delicious!” The pain began to subside, thankfully, so Spike brought his attention back to the others. Derpy smiled and nodded. “I agree! It’s super fantastic. Thanks so much for cooking this for us, Starlight.” “You’re most welcome, Derpy” Starlight stated. “You know, Spike, you should probably take some lessons on manners from your marefriend there… uh, friend that’s a mare, I should say. Whoops.” Spike dropped his face into his palm, followed by Derpy attempting to hide her inflamed cheeks behind her mane. Spike shot out a foot, landing a quick kick to Starlight’s shin. As they both had agreed before dinner, that would be the sign that Starlight needed to step up and be a true wingmare to Spike. Given that she just made a monumental blunder, she knew she had to follow through. “So, um, Spike.” Starlight cleared her throat, attempting to think of something on the fly. “I saw Mr. and Mrs. Cake today. They wanted me to thank you again for saving their twins from that Timberwolf last Tuesday. You really saved the day.” Twilight cocked an eyebrow, followed quickly by a pleading face from Starlight. Twilight rolled her eyes and went back to munching on a taco. “Timberwolf?” Derpy said, eyes wide with wonder. “What happened?” Spike shot a quick thumbs up at Starlight before turning to Derpy. “Oh, it’s no big deal. There I was, walking near the edge of town, minding my own business and boom! A giant Timberwolf, as ugly as Tirek himself,  springs out of the forest. Normally, I’d just give it the evil eye and it’d run on home. But, much to my dismay, the Cake twins were playing in the nearby field while their parents had a picnic. Far be it from me to take pleasure in killing another creature, but I had no choice. I grabbed the nearest boulder I could find and—” “Boulder?” Twilight deadpanned. Spike cleared his throat. “Well, you know, a larger rock. Anyhow, I grabbed it, chucked it as hard as I could and made contact right with its chest. It was bowling for timberwolves out there. Needless to say, I saved the day.” Derpy’s eyes were still wide. “Wow! That’s amazing! I’m amazed it didn’t make the paper. I see the headlines every day. It’s a shame.” Spike felt a bead of sweat roll down his forehead. “Oh, well, you know. I don’t like to publicize my accomplishments. A quieter life is all I need.” Twilight shook her head. “You’re definitely something else, Spike.” The dragon nodded, leaning back in the chair, grinning ear to ear. “Yeah, I know.” The dinner carried on for another hour or so, casual conversation being had all around. It didn’t just meet Spike’s hopes, it eclipsed them. Even Twilight, who had caused him extreme amounts of anxiety throughout the afternoon, seemed to have a good time. It had been so long since they had a nice family meal, but Spike couldn’t think of a better occasion for it than this. Wonderful couldn’t begin to describe it. “Thank you so much again, guys,” Derpy said as she walked toward the door. “Of course,” Starlight said, a sweet smile adorning her face. “Feel free to stop by anytime.” Twilight nodded her agreement. “Absolutely. We could probably use a few more guests around here, to be perfectly honest. Anyhow, I’m gonna head back up for the night. I have a few more things to do before bed. Have a good night, guys.” The three of them waved their goodbyes as Twilight traveled up the stairs. Derpy started walking over toward the door, signaling Spike to followed behind her. “Here, let me get the door for you,” Spike said, racing in front of her. He heard Starlight chuckle in the background as he opened the door, but he paid it no mind. Derpy walked out the door and turned around to face the dragon. “Thanks again, Spike. I had a great time.” “Me too,” Spike said, blushing ever so slightly. “I’d, you know, really love to see you again. Sometime soon, maybe? Possibly? Perhaps?” “Definitely. I’d love to.” “Really?” Spike said, hopping with joy, before realizing his reaction was... not entirely appropriate. “I mean, uh, yeah. I’ll try and come to the hospital to see you and Dinky tomorrow. Is that okay?” The mare nodded vigorously. “I’d love that, and so would she. Well… goodnight, I guess.” A still silence hung in the air, the moment weighing heavily on the two of them. Instead of walking away, Derpy locked eyes with Spike, biting her lower lip ever so gently. Spike returned the look, heart racing as he did. Derpy leaned her head toward him slowly, inch by inch, until… “Good night!” Spike shut the door and immediately turned around toward Starlight. “I think she likes me!” Starlight’s jaw slammed to the floor. “Spike?” “Yeah?” He asked, beaming. “You’re an idiot. I just want you to know that.” His smile disappeared, morphing into a look of shock and confusion. “What? How?” Starlight whacked upside the head with a hoof. “She wanted to kiss you, genius! Did you not pick up on that?” He scratched his head. “Uh, I guess not… I thought she was just waiting for me to shut the door. You know, to be polite or something.” “You really are hopeless aren’t you?” Starlight let out a sigh. “Well, I can tell you one thing. You’ve definitely found a keeper. Don’t be stupid.” Spike shrugged. “I don’t plan on it. Then again, stupidity isn’t really something you plan for. It kind of just happens.” “And it tends to happen to you more than others.” Starlight said with a grin, pushing the dragon lightly. “Now, Twilight’s upstairs, there’s still a few hours left before your usual clock out time. You wanna sneak some dessert from the freezer and help me clean up?” He nodded and followed her to the kitchen. “Sounds good. And thanks for having my back tonight, by the way.” “Anytime, Spike. Anytime.”