//------------------------------// // 39 - Devotion, Part 1 of 16 // Story: The Last Cutie Mark Crusader // by Jatheus //------------------------------// Duster’s heart was heavy, a result of his dark conversation with the prince that had ended with the prospect of abandoning civilians to their own fate while pulling the EUP out of Ponyville. He followed his squad back to the landing zone on which they had arrived in Canterlot. The night air was crisp and cool. Locknload puzzled over the orders they had received from Captain Scootaloo for a moment. He sighed. “It looks like we’re supposed to just wait here for instructions.” The sergeant picked a spot that was out of the way and tossed his helmet to the ground. If Duster weren’t mistaken, the sergeant was cursing under his breath. Not bothering to remove his armor, he laid down. Gunnysack shrugged and followed suit, as did Rolling Thunder. Jewel looked at Duster. There was something behind her blue eyes that remained unspoken. He could only assume it was a shared sense of hopelessness that he also felt. She finally nodded and joined the others. Duster walked a few steps away from his squad and stared off into the night; the stars burned brightly above, unaware of the problems of the ponies far below. A soft breeze tickled the stallion’s mane as he removed his helmet. Everything just seemed wrong. Cities lost and destroyed, ponies dying... it angered the stallion that things had gone the way they had. He should be home, preparing the apple orchard for winter. He should be getting ready to head of to school to hone his talents in sculpting. He sighed. “You don’t see any answers up there either, I take it,” LD spoke as he strode up beside Duster. “No.” “When I was little, I used to think that the stars were wishes, and that each one was a solution. So, if you could fly up and catch one, you could solve somepony’s problem.” Duster mused at the thought, “Did you ever try to get one?” “Only once,” LD snorted at a memory. “I’m sure you can guess how it ended.” “You flew too high and stalled out?” “The air gets really thin as you go higher, not to mention cold.” Duster looked back up at the lights burning in the heavens, “If only the answers were that close. We can’t even see them.” His thoughts on the problem at hoof were pushed aside as he pondered LD sharing the memory. Duster had heard the stories about him, how he had been through the Mirror Pool and duplicated. He’d never thought to ask about it. In the silence that grew between the pair, curiosity won out. “LD, I want to ask you something, but you don’t have to answer.” The other stallion raised an eyebrow. “You jumped into the mirror pool.” Any warmth that may have been present evaporated from LD’s expression. “What was it like?” The other stallion took a deep breath as Duster awaited a reply. “You know something, nopony has ever asked me that before. They always want to know if I’m the original Lightning Dasher or one of the copies.” Silence again fell over the pair. LD stared off into the distance for a time. Duster began to think that no further answer would be forthcoming when the other stallion spoke again. “It didn’t feel like anything. I mean, it was the same as diving into any pool or pond. But, when you come out, you’re already there, another you, standing on the bank.”

It wasn’t quite what Duster had expected, but then, he didn’t really know what he might have thought he’d hear. Taking the cue from what had just been said, he decided to dance around the question of whether LD were the original Lightning Dasher. “So, you jumped in, and then there was another one waiting for you? You couldn’t tell where he came from?” “If you’re wondering whether that was the copy or if I am... I don’t know.” The honesty in the answer sent a chill up the back of Duster’s neck. “I mean, I remember my childhood, training in EUP. I remember everything right up to the moment that there were two, and then four, and then a hundred more of me. The thing is, they all remembered every detail. There was a lot of fighting after that, but when we had down time…” LD took a deep breath. “I don’t know which of me is, or was the original. It could be me, it could be the other surviving Lightning Dasher. For all I know, the original could have been killed in the battle in that cave along with a few hundred of the copies. Honestly, the worst part about it is that ponies you knew start treating you different.”
 That was something Duster hadn’t considered, “Different how?” “I don’t know,” LD shrugged, “They were just awkward, especially at first. They kind of treated us like we were all the same.” Duster stared back a moment, “But, weren’t you all the same?” LD sighed, “Well, yes, but… I don’t know. It’s hard to explain. I guess it was as if we were interchangeable. But from the moment that all the duplicates were made, we each began changing. Our experiences from that point forward started to make slightly different versions of me, if that makes sense. I mean, we all had the same likes and dislikes, hopes and fears, but… even that sort of began to play against us.” “How do you mean?” “When it was just me and Lightning Dasher left, sometimes he would pick something or like something, and deep down, I would too, but I’d choose the opposite. Like if he chose oats, I’d get hay, even if I had wanted oats. I was kind of compelled to, you know? It was… sort of a way to be my own person.” Though Duster had never had a twin or clone, he felt he understood the feeling. Sometimes he would get that way with family; he’d feel a need to differentiate himself from the others. He decided to not attempt to empathize, as his efforts would likely be neither useful nor appreciated. “Your sister actually adapted much faster than most.”
 Duster felt his gut wrench at the mention of Sissy. “You know, she was the one that gave me my new name.” “LD?” “Yeah. During the siege in Ponyville. I got this scar in the forest,” he indicated the healed gash under his right eye that ran along his cheek. “I was one of the only ones that looked different because of it, so she started calling me LD in the castle. There were over a hundred of us then. The rest just got numbers.” LD seemed to grow far away, as if the life was extinguishing itself from his eyes. Duster stared at the momentarily soulless blue eyes before he seemed to come back. “Are you alright?” Duster asked. The yellow pegasus slowly shook his head, “No, not really.” “Is it like before?” Duster didn’t want to bring up the rumors that had been circulated about LD having a mental breakdown, but he spoke before he thought better of it. LD looked back at him, “No, and it will never be like that again. I… You can’t know what it is like to see yourself, several hundred times… what it is like to see yourself killed.” Duster’s blood ran cold, causing him to shiver. “Everypony else was already treating us as if one was the same as another, so there was no mourning each time one of the copies died. It didn’t seem to matter. I was one of those. Eventually, I had convinced myself that I was going to die. I believed that I was just a duplicate, that I didn’t matter. Lightning Dasher had already been sent home, right? My parents… his parents got him back already. They don’t need me. It might even be simpler if…” There were tears in the blue eyes of the other stallion, but Duster didn’t know what to do, so he simply stared back silently. “So, every time I survived something, I’d think that it was still coming, that the next time I for sure wouldn’t get away. That raid on Dodge Junction… if you’d have been at the front where I was… They were waiting for us. I’d never seen a battle like that before. There was so much death all around, I just froze up. I kept thinking that it was my turn. I don’t remember much of that now, it’s kind of a blur after that until I woke up in the hospital. Beigh had told me that I was conscious but unresponsive for nearly a day before I came out of it.” Silence fell again, and Duster wanted to say something helpful, but his mind was unfortunately blank. He looked up at the stars again. “Well, it doesn’t do any good to regret the past. It happened, and I have to deal with the consequences. They’ll probably never put me in command of anything ever again, but I’m not going to let that stop me.” He drew Duster’s gaze again. “I decided that it doesn’t matter if I’m a duplicate, or a clone, or a copy, or whatever. I am LD, and if that means I can’t be Lightning Dasher… That is the part that doesn’t have to matter. I make my own decisions. He went home, but I’m still here. I may not have a home to go to, but I’ll make a new home somewhere. First thing, I’m never going to let anypony down in combat again. Never. Not me. That’s my choice, whether it gets me killed or not. So be it.” Duster snorted and echoed, “So be it.” The pair stared again into the darkness of night, each leaving the other to his thoughts for a time. Duster wondered still if there were not some way to save the Assault Corps and Ponyville. There certainly had to be something they could do without sacrificing the defense of another city, but the EUP hadn’t been able to save Baltimare either. At the very least, maybe they could muster a small force to assist with an evacuation. The pegasus ran through what he could remember of troop deployments in his mind, even after LD left him and laid down with the others. There just had to be a way to save everypony.