Irreplaceable
Chapter 16 - No Tomorrow
As the first silvery rays of the summer moon leaked into the cave, the great green dragon’s eyes flicked open as he rose from slumber. Letting out a powerful yawn, he rolled in his glistening bed of gold and gems, sending waves of treasure cascading down the mound. As he rose, shaking the last vestiges of sleep from his head, he discovered that he was, in fact, being watched. No less than five feet away stood Spike, the young dragon looking almost feral. His eyes, wild and wide, danced with green flame as his slavering jaws snapped at nothing. Delicraw growled in displeasure. It seemed that the full force of the spell was sinking in, shrieking messages of death and destruction into the purple dragon’s mind.
Had Delicraw not been the one to cast the spell, and, as a result, bonded to him, he may very well have attacked him, size difference be damned. The feedback loop between the urge to kill and the magical protection bestowed on his master had all but shut down his brain. In all likelihood, he had been standing there for several hours, at the very least.
“Go to sleep, you mad fool.” A given order snapping him out of his trance, Spike retreated to a corner of the cave and, within seconds, filled the cave with the sound of echoing snores. Delicraw frowned. He couldn’t actually order him asleep, so that meant that the young dragon must have been absolutely exhausted. That wasn’t good. He needed him well rested and able for what he had in mind. Rising from his mound, the great green dragon stretched, sickening cracks mingling with the sound of snores as he worked out the kinks in his spine. In no particular hurry, he decided it would be wise to let the boy sleep for a few hours. He had his own work to do, and Spike’s nap would give him ample time to prepare. Leaving the cave, the dragon spread his great wings, before thinking better of it and beginning to walk. He hated not being allowed to fly, but there wasn't much he could do about it. Yet.
After close to an hour, even with his great walking speed, he arrived at his destination. The great rock face, at least eighty feet tall and more than two hundred long, was as perfect for his intended purpose as the first day he had found it, over 300 years ago. The ravages of time had taken their toll, foliage and ivy overtaking the cliff, and sizable cracks had spread through the rock wall. Nothing that would truly impede him, truth be told, but he wanted everything to be absolutely perfect. He was taking no chances. Taking a mighty breath, he unleashed a torrent of flame at the stone. Vines and creepers were incinerated before the onslaught. As he continuied the infernal barrage, even the stone beneath began to melt and slide, running down to the ground. As he finally relented, he stood back to admire his handiwork; the wall was now glassy and completely smooth, the night air cooling it to a dull shine. It was as good as the naturally formed wall was going to get, and would serve his purposes just fine. Turning, he began the trek back to the cave. The great dragon could barely contain his glee. Everything was going according to plan. Chuckling, the great beast actually began to sing to himself, the ancient language of the dragons leaving his mouth for the first time in almost a millennium. In truth, none in Equestria beyond the princesses themselves and possibly some of the most learned scholars in Canterlot universities could understand him. Realizing this, he chuckled to himself again, before switching to a more modern language. It just seemed wrong to him that the ancient words would be lost on any who might overhear him. It didn’t quite translate properly, but he didn’t particularly care at the moment.
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“Twilight.”
The pony in question groaned, pulling the blankets closer to herself.
“It’s late, Fluttershy. Go back to sleep, we have a busy day ahead of us.”
“I’m afraid, my dear Twilight Sparkle, that sleep will have to wait.” Who was that? It definitely wasn’t Fluttershy, of that she was sure. The voice was so... elegant, and cultured... It must be Rarity, she realized, although what she needed this late at night Twilight couldn’t fathom.
“And why might that be, Rarity?”
“As I’m sure you’re aware, there is a dragon on the loose. It has already attacked Ponyville once. We need to look into this right away.”
“Rarity, that’s what we’re doing tomorrow.”
“This cannot wait until tomorrow, my little pony. You must wake up and tell me everything. On a side note, while I am glad that you are finally being as informal as I’ve asked you to be, I would appreciate if you called me by my name.” Far too tired to fully comprehend what she was hearing, Twilight pulled the pillow over her head.
“And that would be?”
“Well, while my sister likes to call me Celly, I would prefer it if you called me Celestia.” If the princess hadn’t been as familiar with her student’s magic as she was, she would have thought that Twilight had teleported out of bed. In a microsecond, Twilight was on her feet, bowing low before the ruler of Equestria.
“P-P-PRINCESS! HELLO! What are you doing here?! No, I’m sorry, that was rude! Uh, How can I help you??”
“You can start by standing up.” Twilight shook visibly. “What’s the matter, Twilight?”
“I...I don’t think I can.”
“I’m sorry, Twilight, but we do not have time for this right now. I need you to straighten up this instant.” Physically incapable of resisting a direct order from the Princess, Twilight bolted upright. “And don’t bother apologizing; we don’t have the time. Fluttershy and Rarity are already downstairs with Luna making preparations. I have already received as much information from them as I could, but I need to hear what you have to say.” Twilight swallowed. Here was the moment she had been both waiting for and dreading these past few weeks. Twilight opened her mouth, took a deep breath and proceeded to tell her everything. She told her about Spike running away, about the spell that she believed has been cast on him, of the dragon she thought responsible. She told her of how lonely Spike must have felt, and even of her mental breakdown and subsequent suicide attempt. She explained her theory on how it was caused by her link to Spike, but the look of horror and disappointment on her mentor’s face still hit her like a buck in the gut.
“I believe that you are correct, Twilight. You do, indeed, share a link with Spike, and that is probably what caused your... episode. We will have time to speak of this later, and I strongly insist we do. For now, however, I need you and your friends to guide me to the cave to which you tracked the dragons.” Twilight nodded shyly, her eyes fixed to what seemed to her to be an incredibly interesting floorboard. Moving to the stairs, they descended to a waiting cluster of ponies. Princess Luna, flanked by two royal guards, along with the assembled Elements of Harmony. With a nod, the group departed Carousel Boutique, running as fast as they could through the damaged town.
As they ran through town, ponies stopped what they were doing and bowed in deference to their rulers. There were an unusual number of ponies, far more than would normally be about at this hour. Then, Twilight realized exactly who they were. They were royal guards, carpenters, masons and other various tradesponies, and they were everywhere. There were piles of raw materials, stone and wood and steel, scattered about. Celestia had come through for her subjects. Now, not only was Ponyville protected, it was well on its way to recovery.
As they ran through the twisting, turning paths of the Everfree Forest, Twilight could feel Celestia’s eyes on her. Magical bond or not, Twilight had tried to kill herself, and it was clear that the Princess was rather upset about it, to put it mildly. Twilight could tell that Celestia wanted to talk about it with her, it was just that there was simply no time. The ten of them arrived at the cave in record time, and, after the guards quickly searched the cave and confirmed it empty, the party headed inside. As the princesses darted towards the piles of treasure, the six friends hung back at the entrance with the guards. They seemed to be searching for a book, as they were separating them from the piles and, after giving them a quick scan, setting them to the side. Not wanting to feel useless, Twilight began sorting through the treasure as well, placing any books she found in a pile off to the side. With the exception of the guards, who were keeping watch at the entrance, everypony else began to follow suit. Fluttershy and Rarity began sorting the books that Celestia and Luna had already examined, while the other four assisted in locating books. By the time they found the specific tome they had been searching for, there were at least seventy books neatly piled in stacks around the cave. Twilight made a mental note to return and collect them, finding it hard to resist simply running over to the pile and reading them that very moment.
As Celestia read, Luna flitted about impatiently, examining piles of treasure at random. The six friends, now standing patiently in a semicircle in front of Celestia, waited with bated breath. When their princess finally put the book down, her expression was one of true sorrow. Luna, landing beside her sister, whispered something in her ear, obviously confirming whatever Celestia had already figured out, for her expression somehow became even sadder. Twilight stepped forward and, after a polite bow, spoke.
“Princess, I can’t help but feel that there is even more going on here then we all originally thought. Which I must say is pretty scary, considering all that has happened so far.” Her beloved mentor and goddess nodded; a small nod. Luna placed a foreleg around her sister as the sun goddess began to cry. “Princess! Are you alright? What’s wrong?!” Celestia did not answer immediately. She simply sat there, wrapped in her sister’s embrace, for about a minute before composing herself and answering.
“It seems as though my kindness has returned to hurt me.” The six friends looked on in what could only be described as pure confusion. They truly wanted answers, but when their princess, their GODDESS, began to cry again, their own curiosities were immediately banished. Throwing protocol and propriety to the wind, the six ponies joined Luna in hugging and comforting Celestia. The goddess spread her wings, enveloping her sister and subjects, no, her friends, returning their much needed comfort.
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Spike awoke with a sudden start. Although only an hour previously he had been absolutely exhausted, he was now fully awake and alert. He was also, for reasons he couldn’t quite fathom, rather embarrassed. Yawning mightily, Spike surveyed the interior of the cave. Although Delicraw was nowhere to be seen, both his strong sense of smell and the bond they shared told him that his master was nearby. Leaving the cave, he spread his wings and launched himself into the air, searching for his master. The night air was cool, and, with all but the nocturnal inhabitants of the Everfree Forest asleep, it held an almost eerie silence. As he flew, Spike spun on his axis, raising his belly to the sky, so that he might see the stars as he flew. They were absolutely beautiful, moreso then Spike had ever seen them. While he was not particularly interested in the academic pursuit of astronomy, he would always jump at the chance to go stargazing. Even though he couldn’t really pick the stars out one by one, call them by their given names or trace the patterns that many insisted on giving them, he truly loved them, simply sitting back and admiring their ethereal beauty. Ever since the return of Princess Luna, the night sky had been so much more, almost magical, to an extent. So much so, in fact, that Spike had actually made a point of taking a moment from each night to simply gaze upon them. In recent times, though, he’d let this habit slip. This was the first time in more than a month that he’d raised his head to the stars. It was nice, almost. The roars and shrieks of the rage burning within his brain began to recede, an ocean reaching low tide. Still present, but sinking back further towards the depths of his mind. The young dragon liked these moments. They were the simplest. They were the clearest, too. And the happiest. These were the times when he could forgive Twilight and go back to the way things used to be, the times when he actually believed the town would forgive him and welcome him back. These were the times where he could push away all the bad memories, and just wrap himself in the warmth of times gone by.
Spike’s eyes lingered on the vast heavens above for some time. He was so at piece he began to fall asleep, his eyes slowly closing and his wings slowly, slowing down, his body slowly falling to the earth. It was in this state of blissful happiness, on the threshold of dreams, that the voice began to speak. The voice didn’t bother him at all. In fact, he was used to them by now, although this one was different. It was female, for starters. It was warm and loving, with a hint of mischievous innocence. It was everything the voices he was used to weren’t.
.“Hello, Spike”
“Hello, starry sky.” The voice laughed. It sounded like... the twinkling of a star, if that made any sense. It did to Spike.
“That is a wonderful name; I quite like it, Spike. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, Starry Sky”
“You’ve been looking at me a lot lately, haven't you?” Spike nodded, a rather impressive trick for a dragon flying upside down. “ I appreciate that. I always thought that no creature liked me. I thought that they all thought me an inconvenience, something that stood in the way of their fun. They all ignored me, went to sleep until I left.”
The voice sounded sad now, so very sad. Spike didn’t want her to be sad, he couldn’t bear it. This was the beautiful night sky he was talking to! She deserved nothing more than happiness, and should be bright and sparkling, filled with ideas and dreams. He felt, though, that he needed to be honest with her.
“I... sleep through you...” he admitted.
“But you take the time to look!”
“Astronomers look! They all think you’re really pretty.”
“They look at me for science. They see me as something to be studied and analyzed, not to be enjoyed. They miss my true beauty. I do my best to look beautiful every night, and there are very few who take notice. You are one of the few. Tell me Spike, why do you look?”
“I look because of something she said to me once.”
“Who?”
“She.” The voice laughed again, a sparkle in the night sky.
“I understand. Please, go on. What did she say?”
“When I was old enough to understand what it was she was going to show me, she brought me to the tallest tower in Canterlot. At the top, there was a little balcony. When we got there, she told me that we were going to look at the stars. We had done it before, many times, so I asked her why this was special. She had a great big telescope in her room to look at stars with, so why did we need to come here? She told me ‘That big telescope is good for looking at things up close, and that’s nice for doing research, but...’ she stopped there, I remember that. I remember that she stopped for a long time. It seemed like hours. She told me, then, ‘the night sky is more then something to be researched. I can’t speak for every pony, but when I look at the night sky, I can feel, truly FEEL, the vastness of it all. Some might say it makes them feel small and insignificant, but I think it means that I’m a part of something that’s just too great to put into words. The night sky... It’s peace, and chaos all at once. It’s a place for dreams to be born and grow into something great’ She turned and looked at me. She was sad, but she was smiling, and I could tell it was real. ‘Someday you’ll be far too big to be my assistant’ she said. ‘During our time together, I can only hope you learn a lot from me and gain many happy memories. But, if you could only remember one thing, just one thing, remember this. You are a part of something too great to put into words and more magical then all the magic of all the ponies, dragons and Princess Celestia combined.’ We spent the whole night looking at the stars. It was... It was probably one of the most important moments in my life. Ever since then, I always made a point to look up at the night, and think back on what she told me. When I look at the sky, I, just like her, can feel just how big it all is.. And it really does make me feel like I’m a part of something....” Spike trailed off.
“Too great to put into words...”
“That’s right, Starry Night, that’s right.”
“Thank you, Spike.”
“Everyone has the right to feel important and needed.”
“Have you ever felt similar to me?”
“I have...yes...yes, I have.”
“What did you do about it?”
“Terrible things.”
“Me too.” There was silence for a long time. “I still feel bad about it sometimes, even though everyone has forgiven me. They say that you are truly forgiven only when you can forgive yourself.”
“I’m not sure I could ever do that.”
“Why? Is what you did truly so terrible?” Spike nodded again. “What did you do?”
“I destroyed my home... And the homes of my friends... I tried to kill someone who didn’t deserve it.”
“What did they do?”
“They replaced me, and stopped loving me.”
“Are you sure?”
“....no. And that’s what makes it all worse! I’ve destroyed, and I’ve killed, and nopony there deserved any of it!”
“I see.” Silence. “You used to live in Ponyville correct?” Spike nodded. “I have looked upon that town recently. You are responsible for its current state?” Spike nodded, tears forming in his eyes, running up his face to drip to the ground above him. “Nopony died, Spike, and the damage you caused was rather minimal.”
“...What?”
“It’s true, dear Spike. You killed nopony.” for a long time, Spike couldn't find the words. Finally he spoke.
“Do you...do you think they can forgive me?”
“Do you forgive her for what she did to you?”
“Long ago.”
“Are you truly sorry?”
“Truly.”
“Do you think you can forgive yourself?”
“I’m... not sure.”
“Then it looks as though it all falls to you.” Spike nodded yet again.
“If you can, could you pass along a message to her?”
“To whom?”
“Her.” The voice laughed.
“I think she would rather hear it from you.” Spike nodded.
“We all make mistakes, Spike. Not all of them are on such a grand scale as the ones made by you and I, but they do happen. It may take a long time for you and I to forgive ourselves. But I am willing to work towards that point, and I would like to do so along your side. Would you care to join me?” Spike smiled.
“If I can....I would love to.” Though he could see no face, Spike could tell the Starry Night was smiling. He could feel it in his heart, and it was the most uplifting thing he had ever felt.
“You sound as if there is no way out of this. There is always a way out, Spike, if you fight hard enough for it.”
“Thank you, Starry Night.”
“And thank you, my dear, sweet Spike. I must go now. But before I do, I have one last thing to say.” Spike waited, listening patiently. “When you wake up, tuck your neck and wings in, I would hate for you to break something.”
“Huh?” Spike’s eyes shot open and he realized he was falling. With barely a thought, he tucked in his wings and neck, curling into a ball. Spike crashed through the canopy of the forest and hit the earth with the force of a meteor, creating a sizable crater. Extricating himself from his curled position, he flopped out of his hole and onto the forest floor. He ached all over. Spike heard the cracking of twigs as some beast moved towards him. It was entirely possible it was something that would try to kill him, but he couldn't bring himself to move just yet. So, instead, he braced himself for whatever might pop out of the darkness. He expected a great many things, but a string of obscenities was not among them.
“You stupid mad lout. What is wrong with you?” Spike opened his eyes to find Delicraw standing over him. “Get on your feet and move along.” Climbing to his feet, he began to follow his master, who had slipped back into the shadows. As he walked, Spike stole a quick glance at the sky.
“A part of something too great to put into words...”
~TO BE CONTINUED~
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Author’s Note:
Hey everyone,
I know I haven't been updating as frequently as I should have, and for that I apologize. I've been under a good bit of stress these past few weeks. I've started a full time job, and my day consists of wake up, shower, go to work, get home by 9:00 PM, eat, then read pony before going to bed. I've just been absolutely exhausted as of late. It doesn't really help that the job involves having whiskey bottles swung at me by enraged homeless folk or ones who shit in a corner and insist an elephant did it before trying to hit me with a chair. Also, I got a nasty concussion a few months back, and it's really started to come back with a vengeance over the last little while. I've had a lot of trouble being able to keep a straight train of thought going, or even remembering the last sentence someone spoke to me during a conversation. This is being compounded by the fact that, unless I finish an essay this month, not only will I fail a course from last year, but I won't be able to get back into school for September.
I’m sorry for all the bitching and complaining, but I just have a lot on my plate right now, and I felt you guys needed some answers on why this is taking me so long. I DO promise, however, that I'll try harder to get you guys chapters more often, and that I'll do my absolute best to finish this off soon and turn it into the kind of story that you lot deserve.
Thanks for your continued patience and for being FUCKING AWESOME,
La Barata