//------------------------------// // The Psychology of Flux Posioning // Story: Midnight Shadow (Outdated) // by Orzo Pasta //------------------------------// ----------- Experiment one: effect of magical energy fields on flux-infused steel; The metal, as I suspected, seems to be completely resistant to magical energy. It appears to actively repel it, much the same way two like poles on a magnet do. I have yet to determine the cause of this phenomenon. However, this quality gives the metal some unique practical applications. Will continue to investigate. ----------- I was alone in the library. Twilight was at magic school, as she always was in the morning, with the exception of the weekends. She would be back around three-thirty-ish, which was about two and five-sevenths of an hour away, to the nearest hundredth. I had decided to use that time in order to perform my investigation of the flux-steel Twilight and I had created a few days ago. My head was buzzing with ideas for the anti-magical metal, but I knew I needed to know more about it before working with it in complex projects. There was a knock on the door. I was setting up for the next experiment, so I didn't have to worry about affecting the results by leaving it unattended for a few minutes. I walked over to the door, expecting to see Parcel, since Celestia was dealing with some legal disputes between a few citizens. It wasn't Parcel. It wasn't Celestia, either. In fact, I had never seen this pony before. She had a light pink coat, with a mane of purple, pink, and yellow, tied into a ponytail with a small blue bow. Something about her mane reminded me of the crystals in the Canterlot caves. Her eyes were purple, slightly lighter than Twilight's, and her Cutie Mark looked like a light blue gem in the shape of a heart. She had a horn atop her head, but also wings folded on her sides, the telltale signs of an Alicorn. I immediately bowed down. "You don't need to bow, Shadow," the Alicorn said. I stood up again, my eyes just barely below hers. "Sorry, your highness. What brings you to-" "Shadow, you don't have to be so formal. Princess Celestia sent me here to stay with you and Twilight for a few days." I hadn't really thought about why she was here, or how she knew my name. "If you don't mind me asking, your highn- ma'am, who are you?" She snickered for a moment, slightly confusing me. "Well, I guess Twilight hasn't mentioned me to you yet. I'm Cadence, and I'm Twilight's foalsitter. Well, I haven't had to sit for her in a while, so it'll be nice to see her again." I was still lost. "So, why did Celestia send you here? I mean, she let us stay here up until now without anypony watching over us, why would she just now send you?" She sighed. "Well, that's a long story. Basically, Celestia wanted for you two to have somepony to protect you, in case something happens." I was slightly offended by the fact that Celestia didn't think Twilight and I could handle ourselves. "I suppose we don't have a say in the matter?" "Well, no," she said. "But I won't bother you all that much. You'll barely even know I'm here." With that, she took a hoofstep forward, obviously moving to get in. I sighed, then moved out of the way. ----------- What bothered me most about her being there wasn't that she would occasionally ask how I was doing, nor was it the fact that her presence was a reminder of the fact that Celestia felt Twilight and I needed a babysitter, despite the fact we'd gone a while without one and we'd been fine. It was her presence alone, the constant feeling that she was watching me, her eyes fixed on the back of my head, that slowly drove me crazy. Still, although I could barely stand it, I figured that if I showed Celestia how Twilight and I could take care of ourselves, then she might just let us be. I decided to keep doing what I was doing before; getting ready for the next experiment. ----------- Experiment two: creation of sparks due to friction with other metals Flux-infused steel does not seem to spark when struck by, or used to strike, any common metal. This quality of metal was only really found in bronze and brass, as well as some rare metals that are too expensive to be practical. If I could figure out a way to incorporate it into an Arcanium construct, it might be possible to- I stopped writing. Oh Celestia, she's looking right at me, isn't she? I turned around; sure enough, Cadence was looking right at me from across the room. "Do you need anything?" she asked as I looked back at her. "No, I'm good, thanks." Well, this is going to be the worst few days of my life, I thought to myself. At that time, I glanced over at the clock. Three twenty-nine. Twilight would be there any minute. I heard hoofsteps from outside. Well, let's see how she responds to Cadence being here. ----------- "Sunshine, sunshine, ladybugs awake! Clap your hooves, and do a little shake!" I should've seen this coming. After all, she said she was Twilight's foalsitter. Of course the two of them would be close to each other. I didn't expect them to do that strange dance-thing, though. "Cadence, I'm so glad to see you!" Twilight said, hugging her. "I'm glad to see you too, Twilight," Cadence responded. I facehoofed, sighing in a barely audible way. "Why are you here, at the library?" I could've answered that for her, but Cadence answered first. "Celestia sent me to stay with you for a few days. Isn't that great?" Yeah, it was just wonderful, I thought to myself. Why am I being like this? I took a deep breath.I shouldn't be acting like this. Cadence is a guest, and as long as she is here I will treat her as a guest. It doesn'tmean I have to be happy about it, it just means that I need to keep my thoughts to myself, and stay polite. Over the next few days, I would find that increasingly hard to do. Eventually, that contempt for her presence would end up causing some major problems. And the worst part is, it was technically my fault, but in a way neither I nor anypony else could predict. ----------- Experiment three: reactivity of flux-infused steel to certain chemicals effect of flux-infused steel in equine bloodstream My original plan for this experiment, which was to test the reactivity of flux-infused steel, will have to be postponed. While setting itup, I accidentally knocked a piece of equipment over, causing a piece of flux-infused steel to fly out and make a small incision on my left hoof. I would've ignored it, if it wasn't for the strange effects it's seeming to have on my physical body. The veins in the immediate vicinity of the incision have turned purple, matching the color of the metal almost to the exact shade. I concluded that a small amount of the flux-infused steel has entered my bloodstream, and seeing as I have yet to pursue this line of study, I took this opportunity to examine in detail the effect it has on my physical and mental health. If the effects become severe, I will seek help. Otherwise, I will document the symptoms, and simply deal with them until I have found a way to reverse them. Will continue to monitor. ----------- I applied an adhesive bandage to the cut, seeing as there was no point in keeping it exposed to infection. I could simply take it off when I wanted to observe the progression of the effects, and replace it afterwards. "What happened, Shadow? Are you okay? Did you get hurt anywhere else?" Cadence had been asking me questions non-stop since the moment she saw the bandage. Which was about two seconds before then. I wished she would just shut up. I didn't say that for some reason. "I'm fine, Cadence, really. It was just an accident with a piece of equipment; happens all the time. Nothing to worry about." "Okay, I trust you, Shadow, but I want you to know one thing: if anything major does happen to you while you're working, tell me first, okay?" "Fine," I replied. "I will." Why did she have to ask so many questions? Didn't she know I could handle myself? ----------- "Hey, Shadow. I was thinking about taking a walk in the park over by the bakery. Wanna come?" I knew Twilight liked to go out and walk sometimes. She said it had something to do with 'collecting her thoughts,' or something like that. I didn't have anything else to do, so I agreed. The park did look pretty that day. The flowers on the trees were blooming, the birds were singing, and from the pond a small fish splashed up, only to fall back down into the water. Cadence had stayed behind, said she had some work she had to do. This meant I had a chance to talk to Twilight without her breathing down my neck. "Twilight, are you really okay with Cadence staying here?" "Well, of course! Why wouldn't I? She's kind, caring, generous..." Clingy, obnoxious... "...and she's always been there for me. Why, are you bothered by it?" I knew she would ask that, and already knew my response. "Doesn't it bother you that Celestia doesn't think we're responsible enough to handle ourselves? Doesn't it bother you that she doesn't trust us to do what we've been doing for two weeks now?" "Well, I'm sure Celestia has her reasons. Maybe she thought we were getting lonely? Maybe she was worried the guards wouldn't be enough to protect us?" I doubt it. "Maybe." "Look, if it really bothers you that much, then it'll be over in a few days." I sighed. "I know, I just wish Celestia trusted us more." After all, why shouldn't she trust a young stallion whose job it is to work with machines that could potentiallykill somepony on a daily basis? I briefly wondered where that thought had come from, then dismissed it. It's just a random thought, nothing more. It might be a little weird, but that doesn't mean we really feel that way. ...did I just refer to myself as 'we?' "Just relax, Shadow. Why don't you try building something? That always takes your mind off of things that bother you," Twilight said. "Yeah, I guess it has been a while since I've made a proper machine... But, what should I build?" Well, we could try to make a machine that can move things more easily. I guess that's a good idea, but... Wait. "Twilight, can we head back now? Something feels off." I started to realize that something was really wrong with me. "Off? What do you mean, something's off?" I sighed. "I'm not sure, I just feel... strange, is all. Should I head back?" Twilight looked up at the sky. "It's starting to get late, I should probably head back too." We walked the rest of the way to the library in silence. I resisted the urge to run, knowing that Twilight would be suspicious. Suspicious of what? Why would I even try to hide this from her? ----------- When we got back, I almost immediately went over to my drawing table, picking up a pen to start making the blueprint. "Welcome back, guys! How was it?" Cadence. I ignored her, continuing to work on my absolutely brilliant idea. "It was nice. The pond was really pretty today," Twilight responded. I said nothing. If I ignore it, maybe it'll go away. "And what about you, Shadow? Did you have fun?" Of course. I couldn't even work for one minute without her pestering me with questions. "Fine." I went back to my work. While drawing, I overheard Twilight and Cadence talking. "Listen, I don't think Shadow's feeling well today, so it'd probably be best to leave him alone for a bit." Well, at least Twilight understood me. "Are you sure? What if he needs my help?" I'll never need your help. "I think he wants to be alone right now. He'll feel better tomorrow." I feel fine. I'm not acting like this because I don't 'feel well.' It's Cadence, she's the problem. No, no, I need to calm down. There's no reason to act like this. Yes, there is. She came in here, interrupting our life, constantly stopping us from being what we were always meant to be. She has to go. Twilight and Cadence were going upstairs. Something snapped within me. "Cadence, why are you still here?" She turned around to look at me. "What do you mean, Shadow? I-" "I mean, why haven't you left yet?" I said scornfully. She seemed offended by that. Serves her right. "But... But I thought you-" "You thought I enjoyed your company? That I enjoyed you constantly interrupting my work to ask me ridiculous questions with obvious answers? That I would just be content to sit around and have you treat me like a foal all day? No. You've been nothing but an obnoxious distraction, and you need to leave. NOW." Cadence stood there, for just a moment. Then, she burst into tears, running out the door. Finally. Now, there's nothing in our way. That was when I noticed Twilight was crying too. What was I thinking? What have I done? "Twilight, I-" "No. Don't-sniff-Don't talk to me." She ran upstairs. What iswrong with me? Nothing is wrong with us. ...who are you? I'm the one who will take you to your destiny. I have so many ideas, so many things we can build together. We will be great, we will be powerful, we will be adored. We will be respected. We will be feared. You did this. You made me a monster. I simply removed the things that were distracting you. We don't have time for them, not if we truly want to become the great stallion we were always meant to be. I realized what was happening then. I looked down at my left hoof. Sure enough, the purple color had spread up my leg, into my neck, and now it was starting to reach my head. It was affecting my thoughts. I was becoming a monster. If I stayed, I might hurt them. Again. I couldn't risk it. I had to leave Canterlot. ----------- I could barely see, the light of the moon being just barely enough to guide my way. You're making a mistake, Shadow. You're throwing your future away. I won't let you hurt anyone ever again. I'm going far away, far away from anypony else. That way, nopony gets hurt. I started running, wanting to get as far away from the library as possible. But where am I going? I looked up, up the mountain on the side of which Canterlot was built. There, at the top, was a small structure. There. When I reached the cliff face, I began to climb. I jabbed my metal hoof into the stone wall with all of my strength, making a hoofhold. I then took my horn, tied it around my other hoof, and used that to make another hoofhold. I slowly climbed, using my metal devices as climbing axes. It took a while to reach the structure I had seen, and the sun was already rising as I stood at the entrance. It was some sort of ruin, carved inside the mountain. It was, admittedly, very impressive. Giant stone pillars held the roof up, and along the walls were symbols carved in some sort of ancient language. The architecture was unlike anything I had seen or heard of anywhere in Equestria. It was falling apart, but considering it was holding about a third of the mountain above it, it was holding up surprisingly well in its ruined condition. Vines covered the walls, obscuring some of the ancient carvings.The entryway had a stone slab next to it, clearly intended to block the entrance. I pushed it out, covering the only way in or out of the ruin. Well, at least Twilight is safe from me. It was freezing cold there, so I curled up in a corner in an attempt to keep warm. Exhausted from the climb, and the effort of blocking the door, I fell asleep quickly. ----------- My eyes opened. Actually, they were still closed. But I saw things. I was standing on what seemed to be the top of a mountain, flattened out so that it was about as big as the park near the library. A thunderstorm completely surrounded the mountain, making it impossible to see anything further. Lightning would occasionally zap from one part of the cloud to another, strangely avoiding the mountaintop. That was when I saw him. He looked like me. Sort of. The main difference was his eyes. His right eye, the one that still looked like an eye, had a red iris, instead of the dark blue that my eyes normally were. His left eye was completely black, a hollow void that seemed to draw in all of the light around him. "So, it's come to this, Shadow." His voice sounded exactly like mine. "I gave you every chance to be great. I tried to help you. I know you have potential, but you constantly let yourself be distracted by other ponies. Like that obnoxious foalsitter." "You won't hurt them; not again. I won't let you." I glared at him, a determined expression on my face, my resolve stronger than ever. "There, that's the fire I saw when I was first created! You still have it in you. You could still be great, but you need to focus on the one thing that actually matters in this world." My expression did not change. "And what would that be?" "Why, power, of course! True, raw power! Sure, other ponies have tried to become powerful, using magic, military strength, manipulation, all sorts of flawed methods. But you know the truth. True power can be unlocked, as long as you have the right machine for the job. Which is why I chose to help you." "You're a monster. You hurt my friend, and one of her friends as well. If I let you go, you'd only hurt more ponies!" The thunderstorm raged on, even stronger than before. "So what? They are below us. I can make you powerful. I can make you a god. All you need to do is accept my help." I realized that my mechanical horn was still on my head. I turned it on. "This will go no further. I will make you leave my head, or die trying." He smiled at me, an evil smile, sending a chill down my spine. "So be it." Surrounding himself with a grey aura, he began to transform before my eyes. A horn appeared on his forehead. He grew wings, but not Pegasus wings. His wings were more like that of a bat. Both of his eyes had gone completely black. All four of his hooves were metal, not just the one that was missing, and he grew fangs out of his mouth. "You see, Shadow. This could've been you. You could've been a god, more powerful than Celestia herself, but you threw it all away because of some ridiculous filly." I stood tall, facing him. "She isn't just some ridiculous filly. She's my friend, and I won't let you hurt her, or anypony else, ever again." I scraped the ground with my hoof, showing that I was ready to fight. "You're kidding. You're kidding, right?" He clearly expected me to be more intimidated by his new form, but I wasn't going to let him win that easily. I charged at him, firing three short beams of magic from my horn. He deflected them easily with a shield. "Come on now, Shadow. You know I'm more powerful than you." I fired again. "I won't let you win!" I fired again, and again, but to no avail. No matter how many times I tried to attack him, he would just block it. "Alright, I'm bored now. I'll just kill you and take over your body. Then, I won't need you, or anypony else." He charged his horn, readying for one final blow. I charged my horn as well. We fired at each other at the same time, my dark blue beam perfectly aligned with his dark gray one. He pushed against mine, seemingly surprised that I was able to withstand him at all. I pushed back, but he was clearly more powerful. I was losing ground, his attack coming closer and closer to me. I closed my eyes. Remember what you're fighting for, Shadow. Remember Twilight. Remember Celestia. Remember all of the innocent ponies he would hurt if he wins. I had one last trick up my metaphorical sleeve. It was something I saw Twilight do, not too long ago. I breathed, and then focused. While the beam coming from my horn didn't falter, I started to glow with the same magical aura. It glowed brighter, and brighter, until... POP! I was behind him. Taking the opportunity, I fired another beam at him. It had clearly caught him off guard. He was knocked back, almost falling off the edge of the mountaintop. "How? How could you have beaten me?" I was standing over him as he hung by his front hooves on the side of the cliff. "It was a little trick a friend of mine showed me." If it wasn't for Twilight, who had shown me her attempt at teleportation about a week before, I never would've been able to. "Please, Shadow! Think about what you're doing! You could be a god, you could control everything!" I smiled. "That's just it. You think it's all about power, about control. But it's not. There are some problems that just can't be solved using brute force. And sometimes, all you need is for another pony to show you a different way." "Shadow, if you kill me, you'll never live up to your full potential. You'll be stuck, being constantly held back by the ponies you call 'friends.' I am the only one who can help you achieve your destiny! I am your muse! You can't do this, not if you ever want to be anything!" He was clearly getting desperate. "I don't know what my destiny is, exactly, but I know one thing: It doesn't involve you." I raised my metal hoof to the sky. A bolt of lightning struck it, but I was unhurt. "Now, get the hell out of my head." I struck the ground, causing it to break off. A huge chunk of the mountain fell, taking him with it. I thought about how he had called himself my 'muse.' "Goodbye, Muse. I hope you end up someplace horrible." ----------- My eyes opened again. This time, they were actually open. I saw the ruin, where I had fallen asleep before. So, that was all a dream? I wondered what exactly had just happened. Or is he really gone? I seemed normal, and there wasn't another voice in my head. I thought about how I had treated Cadence. I wished I could take back everything I said. Well, at least I know I'm me. He wouldn't have regretted that. I heard a sound, voices, from outside the ruin. "Could he be in here?" one voice said. "Only one way to find out," another voice replied. The slab in front of the door glowed with a white aura, and moved aside slowly. Bright light streamed in, causing me to shield my eyes. "Shadow?" It was Princess Celestia. "Is that you?" I tried to respond, but found that my throat was too dry to speak. I realized just how thirsty I was, and hungry too. How long was I asleep? "Okay, don't worry. We'll get you home, just relax." I felt myself floating, realizing that Celestia was levitating me away. Twilight was with her, a worried expression on her face. "Is he okay?" "Well, his body temperature is probably dangerously low, not to mention how dehydrated he must be, but he'll be fine as long as we get him home soon." I was fading in and out of consciousness. My heart beat slowly in my chest. Is it over? ----------- The next thing I knew, I was lying in my bed. I didn't remember much about what happened after Celestia found me. She was standing not too far away, talking to Twilight and Cadence. "So, after he snapped at Cadence, he just ran off somewhere?" Princess Celestia was probably asking them what happened. "Yeah, but I didn't realize it until the next morning," Twilight replied. Cadence sighed. "I had already left, because of what he said..." A single tear formed in her eye. "I... Oh, auntie, I did a horrible job protecting him, didn't I? All because he said something mean to me. This is all my fault." She broke into tears again. "No, it isn't." The three looked at me, surprised to see me awake. "I was the one who snapped at you. I'm sorry, Cadence." I tried to sit up, but found it took more energy than I could muster, and lied back down. "I should've been nicer to you. After all, you didn't do anything to me." Cadence couldn't reply, since she was still in tears. It was Celestia who spoke next. "Listen, Shadow. I know you felt like I didn't trust you, but that isn't the case. Cadence is an Alicorn, and as such, she harbors powerful magic. The truth is, there are some ponies out there who were planning on trying to hurt you. I was afraid the guards wouldn't be enough, so I sent her to protect you two." "Who? Why would anypony want to hurt us?" Celestia sighed. "I'll explain it later. For now, just rest." Cadence had regained some of her composure. "I... I forgive you, Shadow." Twilight looked away, upset. She hadn't forgiven me yet. "Just one more question, Celestia." She was about to leave, but stopped. "Yes, Shadow?" "How long was I gone?" ----------- I should've been dead. Going a whole week without food or water would have killed a normal pony. Nopony fully understood how I had survived, or what had even happened to me during that time. I decided not to tell them about Muse. Partially because I was worried they'd see it as an excuse to shift the blame off of myself, and partially because I wanted to forget him completely. They found me because the ruin was giving off a strange blue glow at night. They thought I was using my horn to signal for help. I knew otherwise. I figured out that the mountaintop wasn't real, it was just in my head. Just like Muse was. That was the only place I could truly face him. I looked down at the cut on my hoof. The scar was still there, but there was no more purple in the veins. The effects of the flux-steel were gone. As soon as I could stand again, Celestia pulled me aside to talk to me. "I believe I owe you an explanation as to Cadence's visit," she said. "You said somepony wanted to hurt us? Why? And, for that matter, why didn't you explain it earlier." "I didn't explain it before because I didn't want Twilight to know. She's younger than you, so I didn't think she'd understand quite yet." She sighed. "There are... some ponies out there who don't quite agree with my decisions as Princess." She looked out the window overlooking Canterlot. "They don't think I should be the ruler of Equestria. And, they tend to go to some...how do I put this... extreme lengths to try and make it so I'm not." "Is that what happened at the first library tower?" I remembered all too clearly the day when I nearly died in that collapsing tower. The day I first saw Twilight. "Yes." She sighed. "And, they especially disagree with my decision to make you the Royal Engineer. They don't like the world to change, and you are constantly working to do just that. Which is why they don't want you around anymore." I looked down, procession what I'd just been told. "I... I guess that makes sense. You sent Cadence so if any of them tried to attack us, we'd be protected." She nodded. "I know you're not too fond of her, but she is a nice pony. She only wants what's best for you, as do I." "I know. I'm fine with her staying here for a little longer. You really should've just told me why she was here in the first place." "I just didn't want you to worry all that much. And, on that note, could you not mention this to Twilight? Like I said, she's younger than you. I don't want her to be scared." "I understand. I won't say a word." I looked around. "Speaking of which, where is she?" ----------- The park was beautiful that time of day. I saw Twilight sitting by the pond, underneath the shade of a tree. "Hey, Twilight." I sat down next to her. She turned away, clearly trying to ignore me. "Listen, I'm sorry, okay? I shouldn't have yelled at Cadence like that. I know you and her are close, but I just didn't understand why she was here." "Hmmpf," was her response. I looked out, over the water, thinking. I raised my left hoof so she could see it, "See this? This is where a piece of flux-steel cut me on the day Cadence got here." She looked over briefly, then turned away, crossing her hooves. "I think it made me act a little more aggressive than normal. I ran away because I was ashamed of what I'd done, and I didn't want it to happen again." Tears began to form in my eyes. "I didn't want to hurt you, not again. So, I ran. I ran and hid, somewhere where I thought I wouldn't be able to hurt you from. It was there when I realized just how awful I'd been. I'm... -sniff- I'm sorry, Twilight. Please, just talk to me." Twilight lowered her head, for just a moment. The next thing I knew, her hooves were around me. I hugged her back. We sat there, for just a moment. "I'm sorry, Twilight. You're my best friend, and I never wanted to hurt you." "I know. I'm sorry, too. I shouldn't have been so stubborn after you got back. I was just so mad at you, I let myself forget how much you mean to me." ----------- Results of experiment three: Flux-infused steel in the bloodstream seems to cause increased aggression, as well as amplifying negative thoughts. To my knowledge, no extreme physical effects occurred, although the conditions I was in during this study were less than ideal for appropriately monitoring for these effects. I have named the condition 'flux poisoning.' The exact cause of its disappearance is unknown. It could be that the condition is merely a temporary one. Still, ponies inflicted with this condition should seek medical help immediately. Extreme care should be taken when working with flux-infused steel to prevent this condition. Will continue to monitor for additional symptoms or a possible resurgence of the condition. I am still here. I stopped. Why did I write that? I took some correctional fluid, and blanked it out. Then, I closed my journal. I noticed the nearly finished blueprint I was drawing the day I ran away. It was Muse's idea to create a device that can move things more easily than by hoof. It looked almost like a small steam engine, only it had a different method of powering itself, relying on some sort of combustible fuel source. There were notes on the side, describing the process to create it. The machine itself seemed like a crazy idea at first glance, but the more I looked at it, the more I began to understand the mechanisms by which it was intended to work. For a power-crazed lunatic, Muse sure did know his stuff when it came to machines. I might even try to make this someday. -----------