//------------------------------// // ...then other people say you're dating... // Story: Blue Sunny Days and Pink Lemonade // by Masterweaver //------------------------------// "Hey there, gal-pals!" Sonata walked over with a jaunty wave. "Oh hey, it's our favorite sociopath!" Lemon chuckled and gestured toward a spare seat. "We saw you on TV saturday. Siren Spell Stories, huh?" "Well, you apes need somebody reporting on magical developments that isn't a damn deity." Sonata took the chair with a grin. "Why not the fishies that were there from day one, huh?" Sunny quirked an eyebrow. "Your yellow friend certainly doesn't seem all that enthusiastic about the endeavor." "Adagio? Yeah, she... she was in kind of a bad spot until recently? Still is, really, but she's getting better. I think whining about how stupid people are is actually good for her, it lets her feel superior without provoking others into a fight." "Fights she can't win?" "Oh she can totally win fights," Sonata assured Lemon. "Just, you know, these days fights cause more paperwork. Assault trials, restraining orders, you have to hide the body if they die otherwise people come down hard on you... I mean don't get me wrong, the modern era is amazing even without the return of magic, but there's just so little room for rage and bloodlust these days." "You know," Sunny mused, "I think it says something that I am not disturbed by statements like that when they come out of your mouth." Lemon nodded, leaning back into her chair. "Have you guys considered wrestling?" "Oh we did," Sonata replied, grimacing. "We looked into it. Got a hold of a contract. There is a No Major Injuries clause. Ruins everything!" She sighed. "At least Discord gives us philosophical zombies and there are still assassination requests and unregulated third world countries." "And that," Lemon Zest declared, "was such a total Sonata line. Or maybe just a siren line? I don't know your sisters, so I'm not sure how much of this blatant sociopathy is you, and how much is just being a magic fish horse thing from another dimension." "From our discussions, I would assume it's more the latter," Sunny mused, taking a sip of her coffee. "Hey, by the way, when did you two start dating?" Sunny Flare choked on her drink. "Da--what?" Lemon Zest shook her head. "Us? Dating? I... Wait, I get it, this is just another way you can screw with our minds isn't it?" "Actually I was going to ask if I could screw with your bodies," Sonata replied. "In a carnal sense. Been a while since I got some, like a good, oh... two, three weeks?" "O-okay. Okay." Sunny cleared her throat, putting down her cup. "Let me just go down the list of why what you just said is so completely wrong. First, me and Lemon are technically underage." "Well by modern laws, sure, but only just. You've already gone through puberty, you're educated enough to know what you're getting into, and it's not like I don't practice safe sane and consensual anyway--so much less hassle that way--" "I think you're missing my point, the point being that it's illegal for good reason." "It's only illegal if cops find out and you can't bribe the system." "Flarebear, you know she's completely apathetic to the concept of morality," Lemon reminded the other girl. "What Sunny is trying to say, Sonata, is that while we are incredibly interested in your twisted psyche and dark wisdom from ages past, we are not interested in spending the night in a dark hotel room with you." "It doesn't have to be a dark hotel room." "You are being deliberately obtuse." "Yep!" "Also," Sunny added, "we aren't dating. Lemon and I. We are not dating." "Riiiiight, because coming to a coffee shop at regular intervals to talk about nothing is just something friends do." "See, it's statements like that?" Lemon gestured. "Statements like that which make me wonder, how much of your whole 'murdercrazy happyfish' is real and how much of it is an act to screw with us?" "I could screw with you for months, and just screw you for weeks." "Case in point." "You two are so much fun!" Sonata giggled. "Alright, alright. Seriously, though. You two have regular meet-ups to get to know each other. That kind of fits the textbook definition of dating--or did the lingo change again?" she mused. "It happens randomly sometimes, slang just shifting, and it always takes me a while to pick up on it." "No, it's still called dating," Sunny confirmed. "Well, sort of. 'Dating' implies a romantic relationship, which Lemon and I do not have. Ergo our meet-ups are simply... hanging out." "Yep. Just two gals being pals and drinking caffeinated beverages." Lemon took a dramatic sip of her drink. "Absolutely no romantic undertones here." Sonata nodded sagely. "Oh, of course, absolutely. I have seen this situation literally thousands of times before, both in real life and works of fiction. I have no idea how I could have so radically misinterpreted the situation, but you have totally convinced me. On an entirely unrelated note, who's on top?" Sunny groaned. "Purely theoretically, of course," Sonata clarified. "Because you are not engaged in a romantic or sexual relationship in any way whatsoever." Lemon rubbed her forehead. "...Damn it, now I'm thinking about it!" "Why do we hang around you?" Sunny asked in exasperation. "You're such a corrupting influence!" "Hey, I'm only corrupting if I actually convince you to do any of the wild stuff I'm throwing out there. Until then, I am merely a constant source of temptation." "I'm tempted to throw this hot coffee in your face," Lemon grumbled. "Do it." Sonata leaned forward with a serrated smirk. "Scald my perfect visage. See what happens next. I dare you." Lemon looked at her for a moment or two. "...Yeah, I actually like living? So, no, I'm going to just keep drinking this instead of wasting it." "Hah!" Sonata leaned back, clapping her hands with an innocent smile. "I've still got it." "...This." Sunny Flare gestured at her. "This is the magical expert that tutored us, and who we rightly consider a friend. This is our life now. Where the hell did we go so wrong?"