“Uuuugh, by Christ’s fake birthday-day, fine!” Aria Blaze uttered. She walked forward and pulled open the door. “He—”
‘THWACK!’
“OUCH! What the fuck?!” Aria said as she instinctively let her fist fly.
‘POW!’
“OW!” Sunset Shimmer forced her way into the door, grabbing a handful of what little material there was to be had from Aria’s outfit with her left hand and pulling in Flash Sentry with her right. Despite not being on the receiving end of any of the physical blows, Flash looked quite dazed. Meanwhile, Aria and Sunset both sported a couple of small bruises on their faces that would likely grow over the hours to come.
Letting Flash steady himself, Sunset reclaimed her left hand and expertly closed the door with a foot before pulling back her right fist.
Quick as a lightning, Aria made a circular motion with her left arm in front of her chest and removed the offending hand from her personage, pulling her right back to punch Sunset once more if necessary. “What the hell, Sunny?!”
“Your front lawn is some sort of eye-searing, radiation-producing DEATH FIELD and I had to walk through it just to get inside! It’s going to give someone cancer, Aria!”
Aria grit her teeth. “Well punch Sonata if you’re going to hit anyone! She set it up!”
Already close behind Aria, Sonata popped her head out to the sound of the bells on her outfit and laughed. “Oh, she won’t hit me! I’m too sweet and innocen—”
Sunset let her fist fly.
‘THUMP!’
“MOTHER FUCK!” Sonata exclaimed as she recoiled and instinctively covered up her injured cheek.
Aria snickered as she watched the display of violence, then tossed a glance at Flash. “What’s wrong with Flashy-boy?” she inquired as she pointed towards Flash with a thumb and with a look of mild concern. Flash said and did nothing, the young man not seemingly reacting to anything since arriving inside.
Sunset sighed heavily. “He’s had his sexual desires completely sated and its apparently taken some sort of weird psychological toll. He’s in a semi-catatonic state, it’s the whole reason I braved your tumor field.”
Aria smirked. “And what? You thought some hair of the dog that bit him might help?”
Sunset gave Aria a sideways look. “Was that a simple turn of phrase or a dig at Adagio?”
Aria shrugged. “A little from column ‘A’. A little from column ‘B’.”
Sonata’s face contorted in confusion. “Wait… that sounds like a good thing that happened to Flash!” Sonata waved her hands in front of Flash’s eyes to no perceivable reaction. “But he’s just like Aria when they closed down Matrix Online.”
Aria threw her hands in the air. “Dude! It was pretty much the greatest story of the 21st century! Of course, I was upset!” Aria held her palms upwards and tensed her fingers slightly in a 'Why?!' position. “I was not ready to be unplugged!”
Sunset rolled his eyes. “Anyways, Flash is a male high schooler who’s achieved his barely-post-pubescent dreams beyond his wildest imagination, so now he’s like a boat without a rudder… which has also had its sails set ablaze.”
Aria gave Sunset a smirk. “Was that a cue?”
“… No. Absolutely not. In fact, I regret—“
“Because, I’ll take it!” Aria said as she leaned forward, wrapped her arms around Flash’s neck and pulled him close to her. Sunset could only sigh heavily as she watched what followed. Aria leaned forward and Flash leaned back, only held up by Aria’s grip and her firm stance to hold herself and Flash up as she planted a kiss filled with fire and passion upon and inside Flash’s lips.
For a moment, the world seemed to stop for Flash. All that existed was him and Aria and the burning passion she was sharing with him. The glazed look in Flash’s eyes dissipated and he looked up at Aria. Parting his lips from hers he worked his mouth, finding it took a few moments for his lips to function as he would have expected. “Uh… Thanks? What was that for, though?” He asked, a look of genuine confusion on his face.
Aria narrowed her eyes and let go of Flash where he fell with a soft ‘thud’ to the floor below. “I’m mid-level to super pissed off at this lack of a development.”
“Well, blame Adagio!” Sunset said.
“I do blame her for most things that go wrong in my life,” Aria informed. “But Flash is kinda like the town dildo.”
Sunset made a quick gagging motion and brought a hand up to her mouth as Sonata giggled to herself.
Aira raised her phone to her face and flicked it a few times. “Also, Flash? You’re getting a ton of death threats…” She chuckled as she continued to flick at her screen. “Pretty heinous stuff, too…”
“Eh… Same stuff, different day,” Flash said simply from the floor.
Sonata leaned down and helped Flash to his feet. The boy wobbled, seemingly unconcerned that a lack of standing firm would send him back to the ground, so Sonata leaned him against the wall. Flash simply accepted his new propped-up position and leaned against the wall, slightly askew. Seeing Flash wouldn’t fall, at least not right away, Sonata nodded satisfactorily to herself.
“That’s the spirit! Or, complete lack thereof,” Aria replied to Flash. “Still, you get to bang quite a lot with a buncha different girls… I mean, as much I like to blame Adagio for things, I don’t know why she’s specifically the problem.”
The left side up Sunset’s lips pulled up into a small grimace. “Maybe living with her for so long, you haven’t noticed, but she’s like a sexual black hole.”
“…That is by far the best wording for someone calling Adagio a super-slut that I have ever heard,” Aria admitted.
“No!” Sunset insisted. “I mean… yes, but what I meant was that she kinda sucks in the very idea of sex and destroys it at a molecular level in regards to comprehension of it.”
Aria pursed her lips slightly. “Er… It’s not that you’re wrong…”
Sunset narrowed her eyes. “But ‘what’, exactly?”
“Well…” Aria glanced at the ceiling momentarily then back at Sunset. “Just that I’ve been where Flashy-boy has been before and you just gotta kinda power through it until you can define what you want for sex on your own terms, you know?”
Sunset glanced at Flash who’s glazed-over look resumed as he opted to stare off into space. “Er, okay… Well, how long does that take?”
Aria’s lips pulled to the left side of her face. “How long do humans usually live?”
“You mean the things that Flash, myself, and you currently are?”
Aria shrugged. “Yeah. Those things.”
“80 years, give or take,” Sunset answered.
Aria glanced away and stroked her chin thoughtfully. “That’s a noteworthy timeline to fix this mess for us.”
“… What?” Sunset growled, her eyes narrowing.
“Yeah, but Flash is screwed,” Aria replied, refocusing her attention on Sunset. “And not in a good way… Or rather, he’ll do decades of good screwing in a feeble attempt to regain his sense of desire, but it’s probably not enough time.”
Sunset shot Aria an annoyed look. “Thanks for your help.”
“Dude, I tried!” Aria insisted. “You kiss him if you think it’ll make a difference.”
Sunset sighed. “Oh, I think I’m part of the problem at this point, or rather one of the symptoms!” She pursed her lips into a tight frown. “Adagio’s done a number on me too and now I need sex as an outlet for the bizarre feelings and weird stuff I have to deal with!”
Aria tilted her head slightly and smirked. “Oh? Then you’re going through the process pretty quickly… curious.”
Sunset once again narrowed her eyes at Aria. “This is serious!” She motioned towards Flash. “This is Flash we’re talking about! He plays the guitar and drives a mustang. I mean, no offense to Flash, but those are the tell-tale signs of a man who measures success in how much tail he can pull down.”
“… Yeah, that’s fair,” Flash agreed quietly.
“Now he’s peaked and he can’t even legally drink yet!” Sunset continued. Sunset looked around. “Where is Adagio, anyway? I kinda thought so long as there were webcams on, she’d instinctively be in front of them to whore it up.”
Aria shrugged. “She got upset that I was also dressed like ‘sexy Santa’ and ran off to change. I figured she’s probably taking a pair of scissors to a sash because it’s just ‘too modest’ for her taste.”
“I’ll be there in a minute, okay!” Adagio shouted down from upstairs. “Now that I know Flash needs some emergency TLC, I need to put together the right outfit.”
“There, you see!” Aria said. “She’s busy going through her outfit collection to find the skimpiest of the ultra-skimpy.”
Sunset pursed her lips as her forehead tightened. “Does ‘emergency TLC’ involve more sex?” she yelled back towards the stairs.
“… I don’t know why you’d even ask that!” Adagio fired back. “OH! And I heard that little ‘hair of the dog comment’, Aria! Don’t think I won’t embarrass you publicly for that!”
Aria rolled her eyes. “Yeah? What the hell do you think you’re even going to do about it?!”
“Hey, Aria’s sad, misguided fan-base!” Adagio shouted. “You’re worshiping a girl who CRIED at the end of Matrix Revolutions when Neo died! And I mean, sad, gross crying! She had to be CARRIED out of the theater and nearly insisted it was done funeral-style like in the movie so she could remember her idol one last time!”
Aria’s face suddenly went from purple to beat red. “Oh, you are so dead!” she declared as she suddenly stormed off towards the stairs.
Sunset watched Aria leave then turned to Sonata. “Er… Should we intervene?”
Sonata shrugged. “Eh. Adagio and Aria say they’re going to kill each other kinda a lot… I mean… they never make good on that threat. They’ll probably yell a bunch, maybe fight, then make out a bunch before coming back down.”
“Oh… Okay…?” Sunset replied as she raised an eyebrow. She glanced at the nearest webcam and frowned at it. “Well, what are we supposed to do in the meantime? Aria’s supposed to be running this show.”
“Oh! I have ideas!” Sonata declared.
Sunset tilted her head slightly. “Do any of them not involve dinosaur toys or puppets?”
“… I don’t know why’d you even ask that!” Sonata replied.
Suddenly, a round of frantic knocking was heard from the front door.
“Oh, who could that be?” Sonata asked coyly.
Sunset and Flash turned towards Sonata with expectant looks on their faces.
Sonata frowned slightly. “No, seriously. I have no idea who that could be.”
Flash looked on with a blank expression as Sunset’s face tightened in annoyance before she smiled in amusement. “Maybe it’s Solaire showing up to declare he’s renounced the sun and will now worship your front lawn.”
Sonata simply stared at Sunset in confusion.
Sunset sighed heavily. “Aria would have got that one…”
‘THUMP! THUMP! THUMP!’ “Darlings?!” A frantic voice called out from outside the door. “Can someone please let me in! I think I’m starting to blister!”
“Rarity!” Sunset exclaimed before she threw open the door, collected her friend with one arm as blinding light poured in, then quickly slammed the door shut.
Sunset and Flash looked over the new arrival in concern who seemingly passed out in Sunset’s arms. In addition to a sprig of holly in her hair, Rarity was wearing red arm-length gloves that ended in festive white puffballs and a dress with a wide sparkling red skirt below a green bodice supporting a green bust that allowed for much of Rarity’s cleavage to show with a bow in the front like Rarity was a present waiting to be opened.
The trouble was, that Rarity’s skin was now a color that matched the red of her outfit.
“Rarity! Rarity!” Sunset said frantically. “Speak to me!”
“No, no, no!” Sonata said. “You’re not supposed to say it like that!” Sonata put on a look of fake surprise and motioned to the seemingly catatonic woman. “Why, look who it is! It’s our good friend and fashionista, Rarity!” she announced with a huge grin that quickly dropped into a frown directed at Sunset. “It’s like you’ve never even seen a holiday special before!”
Sunset’s turquoise eyes seemed to smolder like lit coals directed in Sonata’s direction.
“Well it is!” Sonata insisted.