"You Do NOT Pass!"

by Pennington Inkwell


"The Most Stupid Plan I've Ever Heard!"

When Tempest woke up, she was laying in a soft bed with a pounding pain in her skull.

"Ugh... what happened?" she mumbled, trying to crack open her eyes.

"You took a buck to the head from a guy who's half earth pony on his mother's side."

Tempest tried to turn her head to the voice, only to find a stiff brace holding her neck in place.

"Take it easy. It doesn't look like there's going to be any lasting damage, but you're lucky not to have any fractured vertebrae or a concussion." A unicorn with a white mane and purple fur moved into her sight, giving her a warm smile. "What was left of that armor of yours absorbed the majority of the damage, but you're going to need to wear that brace on your neck for at least twenty-four hours!"

Tempest's memory began to finally resurface, and she felt a wave of shock wash over her yet again.

"Oh, Faust... I... I broke his horn..." she whispered, forcing herself to hear the words to believe them. "I didn't mean to, it was an accident! But... How could I DO that to-"

"At ease, Tempest!" Moonstone's voice called out from the direction of the doorway. With the sound of fluttering wings, the little dragon landed beside her on the bed, looming over her with a worried look. "Geez, that is going to be one HECK of a black eye. But if anypony asks, you can just tell them that they should see the other guy!"

Tempest looked away from Moonstone as best she could, rolling her eyes.

"How can you joke about this? What I did... it's not something a unicorn can just bounce back from! It's permanent! I disabled him for the rest of his life, in a way I could NEVER make up for!"

"Eh, you disabled him for an hour or so. He's just got to glue it back on."

"STOP MOCKING IT!" Tempest shouted, trying to sit up to deliver a glare at Moonstone, only to find the unicorn's hoof on her shoulder, gently pushing her back down. "This is TERRIBLE!"

"Fizzlepop, dear, there's no need to get so excited!" The nurse gave Moonstone an angry side glance. "What Moonstone is trying to say is that YOU didn't break his horn, it was a fake one."

All of Tempest's thoughts came to a screeching halt.

"Yeah, he lost it YEARS ago! He's just been making do with magical prosthetics, instead! He basically keeps a wand glued to his head at all times." Moonstone chuckled to herself.

"But that wasn't-"

"In his file? Yeah." Moonstone sighed and dropped down out of sight, though Tempest could feel her weight against her side, implying that the dragon had laid down and propped herself up against her body. "He's got a lot of prying eyes on him and his life, and having a record of that kind of weakness would be a bad idea if his enemies ever managed to get into the NLR files. We left it out on purpose, not to mention a lot of other stuff."

Tempest thought quietly for a moment, trying to process the information.

"I suppose... hiding a weakness like that makes sense, strategically..." She blinked, trying to think back to the fight. "And it explains why he didn't flinch too badly when I broke it off."

Moonstone chuckled from her place out of sight. "Oh, no! He's probably going to have a migraine the side of Mount Aris for the rest of the week!"

The nurse rolled her eyes. "My sister has already gotten a request from him for painkillers, or at least enough asprin to supply a small country."

Moonstone chuckled again, more loudly this time. "She's not going to give it to him, right?"

"Of course not! When have you known Close Care to give ANYPONY painkillers outside of surgery?" She chuckled. "Knowing her, she's just going to give him a wooden mallet and tell him to work things out!"

Tempest instinctively clamped her mouth shut, trying to avoid breaking into laughter. She'd spent so long building up an image of being the implacable stoic, the pony no one should cross, that laughing in public felt wrong.

This in no way, however, deterred Moonstone from cackling evilly. "Oh! And I bet he'd try hitting her with it, and somehow wind up knocking himself out!"

"If he didn't, she would!" The doctor giggled, turning to check the instruments beside Tempest's bedside.

Finally free of worry, Tempest's mind drifted back to the task at hoof, and the unfortunate fact her circumstances implied.

"I... I lost the fight, didn't I?"

Both of them stopped laughing.

"Look, Fizzlepop, you don't need to worry about that right now. Right now, I want you to focus on trying to give me your best answers in these next few tests, alright? I want to be certain you're going to be okay before I release you."

Tempest tried to nod, only to find her head still held in place by the brace. She clenched her teeth for a moment, then forced out her next word without any tremble in her voice.

"Okay."

"Alright! Moonstone, dear, you're going to have to move. Fizzlepop, I'm going to help you sit up, and then I'm going to show you a chart. I want you to cover one eye and-" She stopped for a moment, obviously distracted by the sound of hooves entering the room. The sound was stilted and uneven, as if the pony making it was stiff and limping.

"Hey! I don't need you coming in here and-"

"Take it easy, Constant, I just wanted to come in and see how she's doing."

The voice affirmed her suspicions.

"Come to gloat, Quill?" She muttered, moving her eyes to look in any direction but his voice.

"No, just worried. I forgot to hold back at the end, there, and that neck brace isn't making me feel any better."

"She's expected to make a full recovery, that's just for her own safety while we make certain there aren't any microfractures."

Tempest braced one of her hooves against the bed, slowly pushing herself up into a sitting position so she could look at Quill.

He was certainly worse for wear, with bandages all across the center of his body, covering his barrel and stomach. His head had been wrapped in an equally undignified manner, covering his forehead and the base of his horn. His front left leg was wearing a brace over his knee, forcing him to keep it held straight. A quick glance down at her own body affirmed that she had gotten off lightly, with only her neck brace and her apparent black eye.

"Well, you're getting what you wanted. I'm guessing I'm supposed to pack my stuff as soon as I'm released?" She sighed, glancing over at Moonstone to avoid making eye contact with him. Moonstone looked at her for a moment, then shot Quill a judgmental glare.

Tempest leaned forward, the knowledge that Moonstone was on her side giving her the courage to finally lock eyes with him. "Well, if this is the last time I have to see you, then I guess I just have a couple things to say. I don't know what you wanted or expected from me. I don't know if there was any chance for me to pass your stupid test, to begin with! From the moment I walked into this place, you've done nothing but look down on me, when all I've wanted is to get a fresh start!"

"I just want to leave the past in the past, but you refuse to let me forget what I did, no matter how hard I try! Moonstone tried to help me! Quick Strike did, too! If Princess Twilight thought that you were going to do the same, then I guess that she has more faith in you than you have in her!" Tempest's blood was beginning to boil, the pounding in her head growing more intense as she got more excited.

"So, Quill or Penn or whatever your name is, I just have one question for you before I leave! What should I have done to get your approval? What possible act within my power could have helped me pass your prejudiced, unfair, BIASED examination?"

Quill didn't shrink back from her shouting. To his credit, he didn't even flinch at the sparks coming off of her horn. He simply smiled wryly, shaking his head for a moment.

"Twilight told me you had assumed the rest of the world was against you. That you refused to rely on anyone else, nor make any friends... So, I only had one quota for whether or not you would pass, Tempest." He looked her dead in the eyes, simply smiling. "The NLR is a network. Everypony's work is tied into everypony else's well-being. Field agents gather valuable data and are at the front lines of oncoming threats. The Night Guard relies on their reports to decide where and when to send their members. Agents buried deep in our enemies' ranks need to collaborate with the main body in order to give life-saving information. If an engineer disappears or fails, nearly every department is affected because we have little to no transportation. Even the accountants Quick Strike loves to mock make certain that our other branches are never without equipment or spells to help them out of a tight situation."

"You needed to understand that. You needed to start understanding that you need to be willing to rely on others if you wanted to integrate yourself into that network." He gave her a smile, this time an honestly happy one.

Moonstone sighed, rolling her eyes.

"For the record, I thought this was a stupid idea."

Pennington gave Tempest a friendly wink. "Those are MY specialty. Anyway, I thought that if you were willing to ask someone you absolutely HATED for help, then you would be ready to work with just about anypony! Because there are going to be a lot of ponies around here who WON'T be able to stand you, who WILL refuse to let the past stay in the past. And you're going to have to work with them, answer to them!"

Tempest was putting the pieces together in her mind, and if she was right, this answer was NOT going to make her happy.

"So, to pass... all you had to do was hate me... and then ask me to pass you."

Tempest's eye twitched and the crackling in her horn grew louder and brighter.

"That... is the MOST STUPID IDEA I'VE EVER HEARD!"

Penn chuckled nervously as she rose up out of the bed, landing unsteadily on her hooves. Step by shaky step, she began to advance on him. Her head was beginning to spin, but she kept her steely gaze locked on her target.

"I mean, seriously? There was NO way for me to know that was what I was supposed to do! And how could we have even REACHED that point? You escalated things beyond casual small-talk almost instantly! I HATED you long before I was even willing to ask Moonstone for help, let alone YOUR sorry flank! We were more likely to KILL each other before we had a civil conversation!"

Penn was obviously getting nervous, limping backwards and away from her.

"And just HOW LONG were you planning on making me hate you? Are you only coming clean NOW because I'm about to LEAVE? Has all of this just been some kind of stupid, manipulative ACT? What if I'd just given up and gone home? What if I had written to Princess Twilight and TOLD her how horrible you were being? Then she'd be HERE, ruining your entire clever plan!"

"W-well, I mean, it worked, didn't it? You're smart, you figured it out in the end!" he stuttered, now close enough for the burning sparks of her enraged magic to singe his fur.

"After we both put each other in the HOSPITAL!"

"Uh, Tempest?" Moonstone called, now some distance away from the pair.

"WHAT?"

"He's trying to say you just passed!"

Tempest drew up short, the information processing itself slowly through her mind.

"But- I thought that if I lost the fight, I'd be banned from the New Lunar Republic?"

"You're banned from joining the Night Guard." Moonstone hopped down from the cot, running over and fishing an item out from under Penn's bandages. It was a hidden envelope, sealed with a wax imprint of the NLR emblem. Reaching up, she handed it to Tempest.

She raised an eyebrow, giving Penn another angry glare. He simply nodded, affirming that she was supposed to open it. She tore through the paper, fishing out the folded parchment inside.

Dear Princess Luna and Winged Egghead,

After extensive time studying and conversing with Fizzlepop Berrytwist, I have come to a definitive conclusion: She is unfit for the Night Guard. She has displayed issues with following orders, broken several NLR rules and policies, and most importantly, lost a bet to me saying she can't join them. She has a poorly-controlled temper and a tendency to resolve problems via violence.

However, she has also displayed great desire to improve both herself and her reputation. She has also shown great initiative and a frightening aptitude for combat. Her information-gathering skills exceeded even my own expectations, and yes, Sparky, she's even making friends. She has also displayed a fierce sense of loyalty, even for a pony she spent the majority of her time hunting.

So, it is my professional opinion as a Senior Officer of the New Lunar Republic that she has immense potential and talent for another position.

And so, accordingly, I officially recommend that Fizzlepop Berrytwist, a.k.a. Tempest Shadow, be placed into Field Agent training at the soonest opportunity. I also give my official endorsement for her progress through basic training to be accelerated due to her prior experience in a military position.

Also, while we're speaking officially, you owe me yet another favor, Twilight.

Sincerely,

Pennington Inkwell

Senior Field Agent

Tempest couldn't say that she didn't understand, everything was laid out clearly enough in the letter, but she still felt confused.

"So... what could have possibly turned a pony that driven back on his own side?"

For the first time since she's gotten up out of her bed, Penn smiled again.

"When I helped sneak the Changeling Queen into Canterlot, I was forgiven almost instantly. One day was all that it took, and everyone was willing to make her the scapegoat and say that I was another brainwashed victim... And that wasn't right. I deserved more. I deserved worse. I should have had to WORK to be accepted again. So I spent months punishing myself, instead. I went into exile."

"If you didn't WORK for this, you'd spend the rest of your life feeling as if you cheated the system by befriending a princess. And I didn't want to wish that on somepony else..." He silently reached up and took a hold of his horn. With a sound like snapping chalk and a few sparks of blue magic, he pried off the majority of it, leaving her staring at the fractured remains.

"...especially not somepony who I KNOW would probably react the same way I did."

Tempest wasn't certain what she was feeling, at this point. She was getting approval from the pony she absolutely LOATHED, a recommendation to an enviable position in the NLR ranks when she had simply wanted to be another unremarkable guardspony, and apparently the living hell she'd been going through had all been a part of some ridiculous plan that was supposed to benefit her?

Somewhere, deep down, she felt a some small part of her affirming his words, though.

She HAD thought that she'd gotten off easy, and Twilight was the one to thank for it. She'd been waived of blame for what had happened, and she'd tried to simply disappear into the Night Guard to escape that blame. Thinking now about her choices, she was willing to admit that she didn't want to be seen out of shame, didn't want to stand out because she was worried that somepony would use her past to turn it into an accusation.

It was possible he was right, despite all of his stupid reasoning and inane methodology that led to it.

"What do you say, rookie?" Moonstone asked, smirking and folding her arms over her chest. "Care to join the swashbuckling life of a Field Agent?"

Tempest looked back down at the letter, then at Moonstone, and finally at Pennington. Quietly, she folded the letter back up, carefully placed it as best she could into the torn-up envelope, and returned it to Moonstone.

"I'll... think about it." Reaching out, she took hold of another one of the cots. "For now... ugh... I think I'm too dizzy to make any good decisions..."

"And that's where I come in!" Constant Care chirped merrily. In a matter of seconds, Tempest had been wrapped up in a magical aura and levitated back into the cot.

"Well, the Care sisters are the best hooves in the NLR. Knowing them, you'll be up and about in no time!" Penn chuckled, limping his way towards the door. "Moonstone knows where I am at all times, so just come see me when you've made your choice!"

Tempest nodded, her brain still trying to wrap itself around the question of whether she should be thanking or hating the smug stallion.

"'Best hooves in the NLR?' If I recall correctly, just a few hours ago, you were calling us 'bandage fetishist worryworts?'" Constant asked, raising an eyebrow. "And you said that my X-Ray machine was 'absolutely uninformed?'"

"Sorry, can't hear you over the sound of all those monitors and... whirring... thingies!" Penn called back as he vanished through the door.

"They're centrifuges!"

Tempest chuckled, somewhat reassured knowing that his attitude was just as grating on other ponies. She almost didn't notice when Constant slipped an innocuous pill between her lips, levitating a glass of water in front of her.

"Drink up, it's one of my sister's sleeping pills. By the time you wake up, you should be a few standard questions away from getting out of that neck brace and out of the infirmary."

Tempest thought about fighting for a moment, but Moonstone's watchful eye indicated that the two of them were well-used to dealing with a certain troublesome patient.

Some sleep sounds nice, anyway... was the last thought to run through her head as she reached out and downed the entire glass at once.