An “Objective” Study
She stared at it.
(Twilight thought to herself) “Oh! What could this glorious thing be! After checking, double-checking, and triple checking the library’s list of books checked out, reorganizing the libraries shelves again, and even pruning the library’s branches for a third time today [the poor thing was looking a bit.. thin now that I think of it], anything out of the ordinary is more than welcome!”
“So”… (Twilight thought to herself) “This strange... ‘object’ had just appeared outside the library today. Spike had just “notified” me of its arrival by promptly tripping over a long, flexible cylindrical object that was connecting it to the ground.
So the main question here is... What is it?”
Then standing forth in a dramatic pose that would do any Bat-Pony proud Twilight yelled,
“TO THE LIBRARY!”
30 Minutes later….
Twilight emerged from the library with her enthusiasm slightly dampened, but immediately perked up when she realized,
“Wait! What if this “object” is something new! Something undocumented! Something… worthy of a scholar! I could even be featured in Equestria’s famous ‘Canterlot Collegiate Quarterly’ if this is important!
“SPIKE! (Twilight yelled), quill and parchment! "
We will be doing…. (Twilight paused for dramatic effect) SCIENCE!”
Spike sighed (he had been ready with the materials as soon as Twilight had even gotten that ‘look’ in her eyes) and dutifully began recording.
Twilight’s first report and description are as follows:
Introduction:
Twilight Sparkle, reporting about this “Object” Discovered on the seventh month, on the ninth day, in the year of Celestia. It’s function or origin is not yet known to this pony, nor is there any record or mention of the object in Ponyville's library.
Description and Observations:
It is of a rectangular nature, with an approximate height of 3.9 hooves and 2.3 hooves. Its corners are pronounced, with the front and the back of the object shaped in a non-uniform manner. Also the materials that compose this “object” are not uniform in their form or composition. On the front side it has a recessed oval structured material that appears glossy and has a slight reflective nature (I am assuming this is the front of the object due to its reflective nature). The top and bottom of the object as well as the rest of the exterior rectangular portion of the object seem to be made out of a material similar to petrified wood (the stone, not the magic type of wood formed from my now infamous firewood experiment while I was studying in Canterlot ), and this exterior material feels very different from common firewood (as it feels smooth, almost similar to a riverstone). There are two protrusions on the front of the “object” that appear almost similar to a knob on a cabinet or dresser. These “knobs” appear to have some sort of writing or glyphs on them (however these glyphs seem to be worn down, so they are incomprehensible regardless of the language they were written in). Also the cylindrical object (of which my assistant tripped over during his discovery of this object) seems to extend from the back of this object into the ground to an undetermined length.
Conclusion:
Thus concludes my description, and I now will begin to experiment with and test this object for any responses or functions it may have (as due to the non-uniform form of this object and its reflective nature, I believe this is not a naturally occurring structure). I will state my discoveries in a follow up report.
“So Mr. ‘Object.’ (Twilight said) You will share your secrets with me… oh yes! I will know everything about you… EVERYTHING!"
With a shaking hoof (and a twitching eye)…
Twilight ever so slowly reached forward….
and touched it.
Nothing happened.
"Ok..." (Twilight thought) I'll just try something else!"
Twilight poked it harder. Still nothing.
She poured a small amount of magic into it. Nothing.
She lifted it, then shook it. Nothing.
She spoke to it, " Activate! Um... move? Function?"
(After 10 minutes of talking to this... "OBJECT" Twilight was growing exasperated.)
"Why won't you work!"
With an exasperated “EUUGH!” Twilight stomped her hoof into the ground.
Wait. (Twilight thought to herself), I should re-read ‘A Student’s Guide to Exploration and Archeology’! That will tell me how to investigate this!’
With a renewed smile on her face and full of energy Twilight galloped back inside, not realizing that she had left with this “object” one of the most dangerous things in all of Ponyville!
(A curious Spike…)
Spike Stared at it…
“Well… (Spike said), If Twilight couldn’t figure it out, maybe I can! I’m her number one assistant after all! Yeah… Yeah! I can do this! This will show her I’m not some “baby”! Maybe Rarity will hear of my brilliance and *gasp*, this could be IT!"
(Spike, with his head in the clouds and full of ambition ran over to the “object”.)
“So, what hasn’t Twilight tried yet… OH! I know!”
(Spike impulsively reached forward and grabbed hold and twisted of one of the knobs. Other than some quiet clicking noises, there was no response. Spike then switched knobs, and turned it. This time, there was one click, and then a noise.)
“Ba-zeew!”
A low humming sound began emanating from the “object”.
“YES!" (Spike said, pumping a clawed fist in the air) “Rarity and Recognition, here I come!”
With the slow humming increasing in its volume, Spike suddenly realized what a mistake this could have been. He isn’t trained in magic, this could be a portal to strange lands, it could explode, it could be a disaster on the level of Twilight’s petrified wood!
“Um… Twilight!?” (Spike nervously called), “its making noises!”
Twilight couldn’t hear him, and judging from the intensity of the humming, the “object” was reaching its point of discharge. Spike’s mind told him to get inside, to get away, to be anywhere but that spot when the “object” went off, but his legs wouldn’t listen.
He just stared at it.
Then with the humming reaching a crescendo of potential chaos, Spike closed his eyes and shielded his face, preparing for the inevitable when…
POP
Nothing happened.
When Spike finally opened his eyes, he saw the strangest thing. The image of a stepladder.
He just stared at it.