//------------------------------// // Chapter 4 // Story: The Crossover Chronicles: Adventures in Equestria // by Cool_Quick //------------------------------// Chapter 4 Jack The Place: Gotham City It was a cloudy afternoon in Gotham City. A newspaper man was yelling about another sighting of the Batman. Several people bought a newspaper, intrigued at the newest sighting of this strange being. One of the men who bought the newspaper was someone you would never have paid any attention to. He just strolled down the street, shoulders slightly stooped, dark eyes reading the Gotham paper with only half interest. Most of the news was quite unhappy, just like him. He was failing miserably. It seemed that every time he thought he could get somewhere with a job, it flew away from him and he was left in deeper debt. The IRS had already left him several unfriendly notes saying “Pay up or pay consequences.” Problem was, what did he have to pay his debts with? Nothing. The man sniffed slightly, trying to stay unemotional. Showing emotions around here could cost you your wallet, or your life. Keeping his newspaper in front of his face, the man shook a string of straggly dark hair out of his eyes, and set his jaw. His jaw was described as being bony, almost in the shape of an exclamation mark. People at school years ago would often stand beside him with a shirt that said something, and then point to him and say “There’s my exclamation mark.” The class would then erupt in laughter. Grimacing, the man looked up briefly from his newspaper and saw that the bar he was heading to was just in front of him. A drink ought to help, he thought. And so, Jack, for that was his name, walked inside, not knowing that that would be his last drink for a while. Why was Jack going to this bar, known as one of the shadiest in town, you may ask? Well, you see, Jack needed to get some money, and he needed it fast. Normally, he wouldn’t have agreed to do what he had agreed to. What he had agreed to do was a robbery. He hated doing this, but he really had no choice. He had to do it for his future family. But he did grimace when he walked in. Inside, it was gloomy. It was a small, cheap place; dirty and stinky with cigar smoke. Still, it would do for the meeting. Jack saw the two men at a table near the middle of the room, and went over. One of them offered Jack a glass of whiskey, and Jack took it gratefully. It wasn’t as good as others he had tasted, but still. Remembering why he was here, Jack put down his glass. He looked at the two men in front of him. One was tall, and skinny, with a small mustache, while the other was short, heavyset, with a bushy mustache. They were munching on some fresh lobster from the counter. “I have a good reason for being here,” Jack began; taking a sip of whiskey. “I have to prove myself, as a husband, and a father. I mean… well… this isn’t something I’d agree to do normally, without an important reason.” “Of course,” the heavyset man said. Suddenly, Jack looked up from the table. "You see, I used to work at that chemical factory. I was a lab assistant. Pretty good job too. But, it just didn't hold much love in my heart. So, one day I decided to try comedy instead. Thought I could make people laugh. To make them feel good." He looked back down at the table with a sad chuckle. “Thing is; they didn’t. Now I’m not feeling good. That’s why I’m here. For one big score!” “Hey, are you trying to be cool?” the thin man asked with a sneer. Jack’s smile faded as he realized how stupid he sounded. “Sorry. I usually don’t drink at lunchtime. You’re not lying when you say we’ll get away with it? Nobody will know I was involved?” “Not to worry friend,” the thin man said. “We’ll take care of you.” “We need your help gettin’ through that chemical plant you used to work at, and into the playing card company next door,” the heavy man said. “It’s your expertise we appreciate.” “And,” the thin man added. “To absolutely guarantee ain’t nobody connects you to the robbery.” He pulled out a duffel bag and opened it, revealing a red cape with a matching red hood. “You’ll be wearing this.” Jack studied the outfit, thinking he'd seen it before. “Wait a minute,” he exclaimed. "That’s the Red Hood’s mask! He raided that ice company last month.” “Smarten up, wise guy,” the thin man sneered. “There ain’t no Red Hood. Just a bunch of guys like yourself. And a mask.” “Right, the most valued member of the crew gets to wear it, no questions asked,” the heavy man stated. “He can’t afford to be connected to the job so he deserves… uh… additional anonymity. Merits it.” “Sure, that makes sense, right? That’s you,” the thin man said. Jack still looked uncertain. “But there aren’t any eye slits. How am I supposed to see?” The thin man sighed, apparently annoyed at Jack's continual questions. “Two way mirrors just like the cops use, yeah?” Jack rubbed the back of his neck. “Oh, I don’t know… I don’t know! That chemical plant. I quit because it… it creeped me out! So… grim and ugly… it was getting under my skin!” “But,” the thin man added. “You know it like the back of your hand. At least we hope you do.” "Of course!" Jack said. "I just... hate to go back to that dump." "Just think," the heavy man agreed. “This ain’t about you, no?” “No,” Jack said finally. “No, of course not. Just this once. Then I can lead a proper life.” “Exactly,” the heavy man reassured him. “Can’t make a nest without breaking a few eggs.” Jack chuckled. “Heh, that’s funny.” “No, it’s cliché,” the thin man corrected. “So,” the heavy man said. “Eleven? Friday night? Friend?” “Starting Saturday morning, I’ll be rich.” Jack said. “Let’s try to imagine that. My life completely changed. Nothing will be the same.” He smiled into his whiskey glass. “Not ever again.” A short time later, Jack walked out of the pub with almost a spring in his step. Finally, it looked like things were going his way. “Hey, give me a dollar.” Jack whipped around to see a tall, muscular man with short dark hair and tattoos everywhere glaring at him. “Sorry,” Jack said. “I don’t have anything on me.” The man snarled, and pulled out a knife. Walking towards Jack with a grimace of a smile, he said, “I said, give me a dollar, or I’ll give you a facial makeover.” Seeing Jack’s scared face, he grinned wider. “How about a smile?” Jack fled as fast as he could, hearing the big man say behind him, “Come back here and give me my dollar, dammit!” Jack didn’t stop running until he was two blocks away from the man. Finally slowing, he tried to ease his rapidly beating heart by imagining the man’s head being shot to pieces. Then, he shook his head to clear that thought. It’s not right to think about that, part of him said. Why not? The other part would chime in. He doesn’t deserve better. Suddenly, he almost ran into a muscular, tall man that was wearing a suit. “Oh, excuse me,” he said hurriedly, trying to pass by unnoticed. “No, excuse me,” the man said politely. “I wasn’t watching where I was going.” Jack looked hesitantly at the man, who was giving him an eyebrow raise. “You alright? You look like you’ve just been chased by the Grim Reaper.” “I’m fine,” Jack said as politely as he could, still trying to ease his breathing as he adjusted his bow tie. Now that he was thinking more clearly, he thought the man looked familiar. “Just got chased by some nut who wanted a dollar. This town really needs some chao… I mean order.” He had been about to say “chaos” for some reason. Not knowing where that came from, he tried to forget it. “Here,” the man said, giving Jack something. Jack found a deck of cards inside. “I’ve heard playing with cards helps with stress sometimes,” the man explained. “I just happened to have extra.” Jack randomly pulled out a card. He found himself looking at the smiling face of a joker card. “I’m Jack, by the way,” he said, giving the man a small smile as he put the deck in his pocket. The man smiled back. “Bruce Wayne.” Later, Jack finally neared the street that led to his home. Unfortunately, he was stopped by a red haired man with a mouth reminiscent of someone sucking on a lemon. “Sorry, but this area is being repaired. You’ll have to enter another way.” “Oh, okay,” Jack said uncertainly. He turned and saw the Gotham Park nearby. Knowing that it went to the other end of the street, he walked inside, a little nervous, because it was a dark night. Time went by, and Jack found that he was lost. He didn’t know the difference between left and right, and he had no clue which direction his house was. Tired and sore, Jack leaned against a tree, trying not to panic. There was no need for alarm. He’d find his way out without any more surprises. He spoke too soon. Suddenly, the tree he was leaning on started to glow. By the time he realized this, the tree suddenly wasn’t solid. Because of this Jack lost his balance, and started to fall into the newly created portal. Flailing desperately, Jack tried to find something to hold on to. A squirrel took this moment to dump a nut right on Jack’s head. With a startled yelp, Jack plunged forward and disappeared into the unknown. A portal appeared in Twilight’s library. The first thing that came out of it was a mixture of babbling. Spider-Man flew out of the portal, and ended up smacking right into a bookshelf, causing a bunch of literary works to fall on his body. Giving a groan as any man or pony would after getting a bunch of books implanted in your rear end; he finally switched to coherent English. “Okay,” he said as he pulled a novel out of his rear. “I’ve gone through a strange portal into a strange house with most likely strange creatures living in it. I usually don’t go into strange places. That only happens on Wednesday, and this is Friday, so that officially makes this weird.” He turned around just as Iron Man flew out of the portal and barely missed hitting another bookshelf. The rest of the Avengers soon followed. Looking around, they watched as the portal disappeared with a “poof.” “So, now that we’re here…” Tony Stark announced, looking around the room. “Where in the __ are we?” “Stark,” Steve said warningly. “Language.” “Beats me,” Peter said, hanging from the ceiling. “I’ve only been here forty five seconds. But I do know we’re probably in a house.” Tony rolled his eyes, visible now that his mask was off. “I kinda figured that already.” Bruce Banner spoke up. “Maybe we should look around a bit. Try to learn where we are.” “I do know this,” Peter said. “This ain’t Oz.” “What in the __ are you talking about?” Hawkeye asked, giving Peter a strange look. Tony wagged his finger at him. “You know the cap’ hates language right?” Steve rolled his eyes. This was going to be a long day. “So that’s how I ended up in your kitchen.” Luigi was sitting on Fluttershy’s couch having some tea she had insisted on making. She had made him describe every detail he could about Smash Mansion, about his friends, and the way he had gotten here. She had sat wide – eyed at Luigi’s description of their battling. “Oh, I hope they’re okay,” she had said.When Luigi finished, she said nothing for a minute. She finally said, “So, what will you do now?” “Try to find my friends I guess. I’ve had to save Mario from haunted mansions before, so finding my friends in a cheery place like this should be easy.” “Haunted mansions?” Fluttershy looked at him with concern. “I hope you’re okay. Is it as scary as the Everfree Forest?” “It’s terrifying,” Luigi admitted; not remembering what the Everfree Forest was but deciding not to ask. “I’m not as brave or strong as my brother. But I hope one day, I can do what’s right, and save not just my brother, but the world. Not because I want riches or fame, but just so I can be like my brother.” He looked at Fluttershy with a sad, wistful expression. “A hero.” He realized he was probably talking too much, but he felt like he was finally able to talk to someone freely. He’d never felt so able to expose himself before, and it was nice. Looking up, he saw Fluttershy had tears in her eyes. She blinked them back, before saying, “You know, I actually think you’re better than Mario.” “Really?” Luigi asked, almost dropping his cup. “You’re terrified of the mansions. But you save your brother anyway. Sure, your brother does the right thing. But doing the right thing even though you’re scared of doing it? That’s real courage to me. I wish I could be like you.” Luigi was shocked. He’d always thought of his brother as the courageous one. He never had thought about courage the way Fluttershy did. Smiling, he said warmly, “Looks like you’re one step closer already.” Fluttershy smiled, and then suddenly her ear pricked at a noise outside. “What’s that?” Luigi listened closely. At first, he heard nothing, but then he heard it. It was… a fart. Luigi groaned. He knew who that was. Wario. He and Fluttershy went outside. As they walked Luigi noticed an eerie looking forest not far from Fluttershy’s cottage. I guess that’s the Everfree forest, he thought. Looks nice and cheery. He shivered and moved on. They found Wario sitting on a hay bale by Fluttershy’s chicken coop scratching his rear end. He was leaning against her fence, as if trying to look cool, but he failed. When Wario saw them coming he gave them a welcoming fart. Luigi tried not to breathe through his nose. “Hello, Fartio.” “Garlic,” Wario said, picking his nose.“Who’s that?” Fluttershy asked, obviously finding Wario inappropriate. “Wario,” Luigi gasped, trying not to gag at the smell wafting through the air. “He’s very rude and disgusting.” As if to emphasize this point, Wario farted again. “Oh,” Fluttershy said, using her wings as a personal fan. “Talking ponies,” Wario observed. “Another thing I can add to my ‘List of Odd Things I Have Seen.’ Also that,” he gestured to Fluttershy’s mane; “is way too pink for my liking.” “I think it looks good on her,” Luigi said, and Fluttershy smiled at him. “Eh,” Wario replied, unimpressed. “Do you know where our friends are?” Luigi asked. Wario continued exploring inside his nose. And farted. “Should I use the Stare on him?” Fluttershy whispered to Luigi. “Maybe,” Luigi whispered back, not quite sure what the Stare was. “Just let me try first.” He looked back at Wario, trying to look tough, which isn’t easy for Luigi. “Are you going to help me and Fluttershy find the rest of our friends? Or will you just sit there and fart until her chickens have a seizure?” “Fine, fine,” Wario replied reluctantly after a few thoughtful farts. He had overheard them whispering and knew that he was outnumbered if they both attacked him (Wario with brains, gasp). “But this is a one – time thing.” He tried to get up gracefully, but just fell flat on his face. Fluttershy moved to help him. Then, Wario farted again. Luigi held his nose as Fluttershy helped Wario up. Wario dusted himself off, shoved some garlic in his mouth, and said, “Well, are you coming or not?” Then, he walked toward the street; farting as if he was trying to lead a parade with a personal trumpet. Luigi sighed. This was going to be a long day. He and Fluttershy followed Wario out of Fluttershy’s yard and into the town of Ponyville. Not long after they left, one of the trees at the edge of the forest started flashing. A portal opened, and out popped Jack, falling unceremoniously on his rump. And bruised his tailbone. Cursing, he got to his feet, and looked around. There was nothing familiar about the place at all. How had he gotten here? Jack shook his straggly black hair out of his dark eyes, and adjusted his bow tie. He needed answers. He began to walk towards town, clutching an aching behind. But even though he seemed harmless now, he was going to play a huge role in the fate of Equestria. “Hello? Heeeeeelllllllloooooooo??? Can you hear me?” Am I in Adele’s house? Ness wondered. Also, why do I smell sweets? Then, he opened his eyes and saw a pink pony with a bushy pink mane looking at him with a smile. “Ah, you’re FINALLY awake! Welcome to my house! I’m Pinkie Pie! We should be friends, don’t you think?” She said all this in a rush; as if she had repeated these lines to herself over and over, and was trying to say it before she forgot it. Ness stared at her, not knowing what to say. Talking ponies weren’t too strange to him; he’d seen plenty of stranger things. But a pony with a name like Pinkie Pie who talked as fast as Sonic ran? This was going to be difficult with a capital D. He found himself almost preferring Adele. “Well? Can you speak?” she asked, waving a hoof in front of him.Ness finally realized she was waiting on him to say something. He said something super witty like “Uuuuuuhhhh??” Pinkie Pie smiled even wider. “Oh, good! You can understand me!” “Hey, look,” Ness said slowly. “Where exactly am I?” “In Ponyville!” Pinkie Pie declared, dramatically waving her hoof with a flourish, as if she was announcing a hit rock band. “Home of the Ponies!” “I kinda figured ponies lived a place called Ponyville.” Ness groaned and sat up in the bright pink couch he had been laying on. “My head feels like it got hit with a sandbag.” “Well, you did land pretty hard on the front porch.” “Thank you for sharing that with me,” he said sarcastically. Pinkie Pie didn’t seem to notice. “You haven’t told me your name yet,” she said suddenly as she went quickly around behind him, and started a pretty good head massage for someone, ahem, somepony with no fingers. “It’s Ness,” he replied. “Ness,” Pinkie Pie repeated, as if trying to place it from somewhere. “So, I didn’t know this place existed,” Ness said. “It’s existed for a REALLY long time. At least that’s what Twilight said.” Ness was trying to think on how he knew all these names. He thought about all the TV shows he’d heard about. Then, it hit him like Ozzy’s Crazy Train. My Little Pony. That’s where he knew all this from. The reason Ness knew this is since he had psychic powers, he could sense things others could not. He had been able to see a couple of episodes thanks to his abilities to see through time and space, and knew a little bit about the show, enough to know some of these characters. “Am I doing okay?” she asked as if reading the gist of his thoughts. “I mean I haven’t tried this on humans before. I’ve done it for almost everypony else though; like the time I…” Ness interrupted with, “You’re doing just fi… wait, what’s that?” They both listened intently; but Pinkie Pie’s hooves kept on moving around Ness’s head as if they had a life of their own. Then they heard it. It was… snoring? Pinkie Pie jumped up and went to the front door. Ness got up and followed. Halfway to the door, Pinkie Pie came back; hopping around Ness as if he wasn’t going fast enough. Ness didn’t understand why she hopped so much. He hoped she’d quit hopping (ever notice how close together those two words sound? That’s one of the joys of being a writer; you get to play with words. And look at that, two semicolons in one paragraph! Ahem, sorry, I’m getting off topic. I’m going to get back to the story, just forget that you ever read this). When they arrived outside, Pinkie Pie realized the sound was coming from her backyard. When they arrived, Ness saw a familiar green dragon, dinosaur, eh, whatever, sitting in the middle of half eaten plants. It was Yoshi. The very first thing Lucario was conscious of was the smell of apples. He distinguished (deep breath) apple tart, apple dumplings, apple pie, caramel apples, baked apples, apple pudding, apple sauce, apple smoothies, apple crisp, apple cinnamon, and just plain apples. Some of those he had never even heard of before. He would have gagged if the smells hadn’t been so good. He also appleauded whoever was making those smells (the spelling is intentional). He opened his eyes and saw Pikachu under an apple tree nearby, sniffing the air with pleased “Pika, Pika” sounds. Their smell therapy was interrupted by a “Yeeeeeee haaaaaaa!!” They looked up to see an orange pony with yellow hair and a cowboy hat come running up to an apple tree on the other side of the pathway. The pony kicked its hind hooves against the tree and the apples came down into buckets below the tree without one missing. Impressive, said Lucario. Most impressive. The pony jumped so high into the air, it looked like an orange airplane kicking off the pathway. “What in tarnation was THAT?!” Then it looked at Lucario and said “What in tarnation are ya!?!?” Lucario just looked at her. He was used to overreacting, especially from Luigi, who should have won an award for “Best Goofball of the Year,” several years in a row. Take it easy, there, little pony, Lucario said, trying to be consoling. “Ah’ll ‘take it easy,’ when ya tell me whut ya are, and whut yur doin’ here.” Lucario managed to clear his throat via telepathy and in real life at the same time. I’m Lucario, and this is Pikachu. We mean no harm, and we have no idea why we’re here. “Another thing,” the pony said. “How can ya talk without movin’ yur mouth?” I’m using telepathy, an ability that allows me to speak into someone’s mind. “That’s kinda creepy and a little too sciency for me, but ah guess ya mean well.” The pony held out a hoof. “Ah’m Applejack, and Ah’d like ta welcome ya to mah farm.” Applejack gestured with her hoof to a big red farmhouse on a hill not far from where they stood. Lucario’s stomach growled. “And judgin’ from that hungrah hound down there, ya’ll probably want somethin’ ta eat.” Applejack chuckled and waved the Pokémon to follow her. “Well, come on in. Ah bet Ah can whip up somethin’ for ya faster than two squirrels on a treadmill.”