Calendar Mare

by Alabenson


Calendar Mare

“Hurry up, everypony, we’re almost there!” an uncharacteristically giddy Fluttershy exclaimed as she led her friends down an overgrown path skirting the Everfree Forrest. “Ooh, I’m just so excited I can hardly stand it.”

“Uh huh, so where are we going again?” Rainbow Dash asked as she floated above the debris littering the path. “All you told us was that you had something awesome to show us and then you just flew off.”

“I’m sorry, it’s just that after Sweet Feather Sanctuary this is the next major project I’ve wanted to work on and Mayor Mare approved it just yesterday!” As Fluttershy spoke she performed a small midair twirl. “Anyway, I’m going to finally be able to reopen the Ponyville Pet Shelter!”

“Really? Well ain’t that somethin’ then,” Applejack said. “Ah can still remember gettin’ Winona from there when she was still just a puppy. Why’d that place close down, anyway?”

“Well, after Mrs. Gentle Care moved to Trottingham the mayor just couldn’t find anypony to keep it running. I had thought about offering to take over managing it at the time, but I just couldn’t work up the courage.” Fluttershy admitted sadly before quickly perking back up again. “But now I’m ready to run that shelter with all the care and dedication and love that those little critters deserve. Ooh, I just can’t wait to see it up and running again, full of cute little animals looking for a loving home.” Fluttershy let out a giggling squeal of joy at the thought.

“That does sound lovely, darling, but isn’t that what Sweet Feather Sanctuary is for already?” Rarity asked as she gingerly stepped around what she hoped was mud.

“Not at all. Sweet Feather Sanctuary is a safe space for wild animals who are hurt or tired and need somewhere cozy to recuperate. The Ponyville Pet Shelter is more for animals who want to become somepony’s pet but haven’t found a home yet. And, speaking of the pet shelter, here we are!” Fluttershy exclaimed as the group rounded a corner. For the next several moments Fluttershy’s declaration was met with awkward silence as her friends stared at the building Fluttershy had now taken responsibility for.

“Wow, Fluttershy, it’s really…um…” Twilight said.

“Yes, well, it certainly does show its…vintageness,” Rarity added.

“It sure as hay is a buildin’,” Applejack suggested hopefully.

“Honestly, it looks like a complete dump,” Rainbow Dash finally said, eliciting annoyed glares from Twilight, Rarity and Applejack. “What, that place looks like it’ll collapse any minute!” Indeed, the building that had formerly housed Ponyville’s Pet Shelter was in a shocking state of disrepair. The roof was sagging alarmingly and many of its wooden shingles had already fallen off. Most of the windows had been shattered or boarded up and the few that were still intact were so filthy they were completely opaque. Perhaps most distressing of all, however, was the state of the building’s wraparound porch. Decaying beams strained to hold up the awning, which looked as though it was ready to collapse at any moment onto the weeds poking out through the rotted floorboards.

“Well I like it!” Pinkie Pie declared as she bounced over to the porch. “I mean, sure it looks like it could use a little TLC,” Pinkie Pie said as she leaned against the porch, only to be forced to leap back when the shelter’s faded sign nearly came crashing down on top of her.

“I realize it looks like a bit of a mess right now, but I’ve already spoken with mister Hard Hat about having it renovated,” Fluttershy said.

“Hold on, ain’t Hard Hat one of the ponies y’all originally tried to have help y’ put together yer animal sanctuary?” Applejack asked skeptically.

“True, but I’ve talked with him and we agreed that he might not have been the right choice for that project. Hard Hat is really more comfortable working on building made for ponies like this one, so we shouldn’t have any more misunderstandings. In fact, he said he was going to meet us here so we could go over what it would take to get the shelter fixed up.”

“Actually I’m right here,” a gruff voice called out from inside the shelter as the front door swung open. Moments later Hard Hat stepped into the light, pausing by the front door to inspect the hinges. “I was just doing a final inspection of the building.”

“I see. So, do you think you’ll be able to help renovate the shelter?” Fluttershy asked hopefully as she landed next to the porch.

“Sure thing, this project’s definitely the sort of thing I can wrap my head around,” Hard Hat chuckled. As he spoke, Hard Hat reached back and pulled a large bundle of paper from his saddlebags which he handed to Fluttershy. “Here, I’ve already put together a list of the work that needs to be done, along with an estimate for how much it’s going to cost. The good news is that for the most part the frame of the building is still in decent shape, so all we’ll need to do is replace the roof, put in new floors, patch up a few of the walls, fix some of the cracks in the foundation…” As Hard Hat went on Fluttershy took a peek at his estimate for the cost of the work, only recoil in horror. “…replace the windows and repaint the exterior. Anyway, me and my guys can get started anytime once you’re ready to put twenty percent of the estimate down as a deposit. See you ladies later!” Hard Hat said as he trotted down the path, quickly disappearing from view.

“Hoo boy, sounds like y’all’ve got one hay of a project on yer hooves,” Applejack said as she trotted over to Fluttershy, who was still staring in shock at Hard Hoof’s estimate. “So, how much is this whole thing supposed to run y’all exactly anyway?” Fluttershy said nothing in response, but instead wordlessly handed Applejack the estimate. “Jumpin’ June bugs!” Applejack exclaimed after taking a moment to look the document over. “That’s how much fixin’ this place up is gonna cost y’all? Sweet Celestia, y’all could practically build a brand new buildin’ fer that kind of money!”

“I know!” Fluttershy wailed, tears welling up in her eyes. “I don’t have nearly enough to cover the deposit, let alone the rest of what it will cost. What am I going to do?”

“Don’t worry, Fluttershy, we’ll help you raise that money!” Pinkie Pie declared.

“Really?” Fluttershy asked as she wiped her eyes.

“Sure! I know, maybe we could hold a bake sale. I bet we could make a ton of money that way.

“Oh, and I could hold a charity fashion show fundraiser,” Rarity added with mounting excitement. “We could raise plenty of money and it could be the social event of the season.”

“Y’see, Fluttershy,” Applejack said as she helped Fluttershy to her hooves. “With all of us backin’ y’all y’ won’t have any trouble gettin’ the bits y’ll need, just see.”

*********

“-and after all that we still didn’t even have enough to cover the deposit. I mean, it could have been a lot worse what with the chupacabra attack during the bake sale and everything, but now we’re pretty much out of ideas and Fluttershy’s starting to get worried she won’t be able to open the pet shelter at all.” Rainbow Dash let out a long sigh as she closed her locker. “Anyway, that’s how things are going back home for me.”

“Uh huh,” Fleetfoot replied as she made a mental note to stop asking Rainbow Dash how her time back in Ponyville had been.

“I just really wish there was something I could do to help Fluttershy get everything started. She’s really bummed about not being able to open this pet shelter of hers.”

Thankfully, before Fleetfoot could express to Rainbow Dash just how little she cared about Fluttershy’s pet shelter woes, Spitfire marched into the Wonderbolts locker room. “Alright ladies, listen up!” Spitfire paused for a moment before turning to Soarin. “And I just mean the actual ladies, Clipper, so this doesn’t apply to you. Anyway, it’s getting to be that time of year again so I’ll be posting the sign-up sheet to volunteer for our annual Mares of the Wonderbolts calendar. The photoshoots will be next weekend so if anypony’s interested you’ll need to make sure you’re free then. That is all.” With that, Spitfire turned and hung a clipboard near the locker room entrance, her name visibly inscribed at the top, before trotting out of the room.

“Hey, that’s how you could help your friend Shutterfly, you should volunteer for the calendar.” Fleetfoot exclaimed.

“One, her name is Fluttershy,” Rainbow Dash huffed irritably. “And two, how the hay is my posing for some stupid calendar supposed to help Fluttershy pay for the renovations to the pet shelter?” Rainbow Dash was familiar with the Mares of the Wonderbolts calendar, of course, it was a pinup calendar featuring members of the Wonderbolts posing both in and out of uniform. While Rainbow Dash had never had any particular interest in the calendar herself nearly every stallion she knew on the weather patrol had it hanging in their locker.

“Well, every year the Wonderbolts donate all the bits that the calendar makes to a charity, the mares who participate take turns picking which one,” Fleetfoot explained. “Last year it was Spitfire’s turn so everything went Wounded Warhorses.”

“Yeah, well that’s nice and all, but unless you think I could convince whoever’s turn it is to donate it to the Ponyville Pet Shelter then I don’t really see how that would help me,” Rainbow Dash said before pausing for a moment. “Just out of curiosity, whose turn would it be this year, anyway?”

“That’s the best part,” Fleetfoot replied. “If you volunteered then you’d automatically get to be the one to pick since this would be your first time volunteering.”

“And I’d really be able to have all those bits donated to the Ponyville Pet Shelter?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“Sure. Hay, when Hoof-in-Mouth posed for it her first year she donated it all to her hometown’s flight school. Last I heard they’ve got a facility that’s almost as good as what you’d find in Cloudsdale now,” Fleetfoot added.

Rainbow Dash was silent for a minute as she pondered her options. One the one hoof, the notion of having her picture taken for a pinup calendar struck Rainbow Dash as being unbearably embarrassing. On the other hoof, however, Rainbow Dash recalled the devastated expression on Fluttershy’s face when she had learned that they hadn’t been able to raise the needed funds.

“To be honest the whole photo-shoot isn’t nearly as big a deal as you’d think,” Fleetfoot said, sensing Rainbow Dash’s remaining hesitation. “Really all you have to do is lay around on some clouds making bedroom eyes at the camera. I mean, if it was anything too embarrassing do you really think Spitfire would volunteer every year?”

“I guess that’s a good point,” Rainbow Dash admitted before stomping her hoof in conviction. “You know what, I’m gonna do it!” As Rainbow Dash made her declaration she marched up to the clipboard and signed her name to it.

“Perfect,” Fleetfoot thought to herself. “Not only will I not have to listen to Crash blabber about her friend’s pet shelter, but this should keep Spitfire from whining about not having enough volunteers for the calendar.

*********

“Beautiful, Miss Dash, perfect! If you could just look over your withers towards me…lower your right wing just a smidge…there we go. Now, I want you to give me a look that says ‘I’m amazing and I already know it’…excellent!” Gaussian Blur kept up a continuous stream of praise as he rapidly snapped a series of photos while Rainbow Dash struggled to maintain her knowing smirk. “Alright, thank you Miss Dash, you can hop down now. Could somepony let Miss High Winds know she’s up next? Also, somepony get the fan set up, I’m going to want to go for a windswept look for her.”

Relieved to be done, Rainbow Dash got up and glided down to the floor of the studio, safely out of the way of the various bits of photography equipment. Once Rainbow Dash touched down she quickly made her way over to a small table set up out of the way, loaded with bottles of water.

“Those lights are a lot hotter than you’d expect, huh?” Spitfire said as she joined Rainbow Dash at the table. “I swear, I do this calendar every year and every year I forget what it’s like to bake under the lighting.”

“Nah, the lights don’t really bother me all that much,” Rainbow Dash said dismissively. “I mean, yeah they’re hot, but it’s not really any worse than working cloud busting duty in mid-summer. It’s just…I dunno…this whole calendar thing is just kinda embarrassing, y’know?”

“Eh, I mean I understand where you’re coming from, but it's never really bothered me like that. The way I’ve always looked at it stallions are going to be drooling over us anyway, but at least this way it winds up helping a good cause. Speaking of which, where are you planning on donating this year’s proceeds anyway?”

“You mean you haven’t heard?” Misty Fly said as she landed near the table to join them. “Crash is planning on donating everything to some local pet shelter in her hometown.”

“Huh, really?” Spitfire asked, somewhat surprised. “I never really took you for much of an animal lover.”

“Well, I’m mainly doing this for a friend,” Rainbow Dash admitted.

Misty Fly merely shrugged in response. “Eh, whatever, it’s your pick so you can donate it to wherever you want. Anyway, I just hope your friend isn’t the type to get weird about posing for this thing.”

“Wait, what do you mean by ‘weird’?” Rainbow Dash asked as she tried to conceal her alarm.

“Oh, you know, they think that posing for a pinup calendar is degrading or something,” Misty Fly said with a roll of her eyes. “The first year I did the calendar my older sister pitched a huge fit at Hearth’s Warming. Of course that was nothing compared to what happened when I posed for Playcolt,” Misty Fly added with a laugh.

Rainbow Dash added her own nervous laughter as she pondered what her friends reactions were going to be when they learned how she had raised the bits she was going to donate.

*********

“Crud crud crud crud!” Rainbow Dash repeated to herself as she flew over the streets of Ponyville. It had been some time since the photo shoot and now the calendar was finally going to be released. In the intervening months Rainbow Dash had let Fluttershy know that she could expect a windfall for her pet shelter, but had left the source of those bits vague. “What the hay was I even thinking? Once Applejack finds out about how I raised those bits she’ll never let me live it down! Not to mention what Fluttershy is going to think about it, or Rarity, or-“

“Hey, Rainbow Dash!” Pinkie Pie called out as Rainbow Dash flew by.

“Gah! Pinkie Pie, you startled – I mean, you broke my concentration,” Rainbow Dash said as she came to a halt and leaned on a nearby cloud. “So, what’s up?”

“I just wanted to invite you to the ‘Congratulations on being able to renovate your pet shelter’ party that I’m throwing for Fluttershy. She told us you said you’d figured out a way to get the bits to pay for everything,” Pinkie added cheerfully. “By the way, I was just wondering how did you managed to raise everything like that anyway?”

“Oh…you know, I just…” As Rainbow Dash wracked her brains trying to come up with a plausible explanation (or at least one that would be plausible by Pinkie Pie’s standards) she noticed the pony who ran the local newsstand setting out a selection of new calendars. More distressingly, Rainbow Dash could see that these included the recently released Mares of the Wonderbolts. Swiftly calling upon skills honed over years of disposing unwanted pies without Pinkie Pie realizing it Rainbow Dash let out a gasp and pointed down the street. “Pinkie, look over there! Is that a purple balloon covered in glitter stars?”

“Ooh, really? Where is it?” While Pinkie Pie turned to see where her friend was pointing, Rainbow Dash shoved the cloud she was leaning on towards the newsstand, sending it plummeting down to engulf the stand in fog.

“Aw, it must have floated away. Anyway, I’ll see later at the party. Bye!” Before Pinkie Pie could manage a reply Rainbow Dash rocketed off down the street and ducked into an alley where she descended to the ground. “Ok, Rainbow, calm down,” Rainbow Dash ordered herself. “Don’t let this turn into another ‘you trying to stop winter from coming’ thing. I can’t stop everypony from seeing the stupid calendar, and why would I want to? The more ponies who buy that calendar the more money it’ll raise for Fluttershy. And besides, the only way my friends are gonna find out about it would be if they bought it themselves. I mean, it’s not like I’m on the cover or anything.” Feeling as though she had herself back under control, Rainbow Dash confidently trotted out of the alleyway. “Yeah, I’ve got nothing to be jumpy about. All I need to do is keep my cool and nopony will know a thing about – Oof!”

“Dang it, RD, watch where the hay yer goin’!” Applejack snapped from underneath Rainbow Dash. Applejack had apparently been walking by the alleyway with Rarity when Rainbow Dash had marched out and collided with her, sending both ponies sprawling onto the ground.

“Are you both alright?” Rarity asked as she helped her friends to their hooves. “Really, Rainbow Dash, you should try to be a little more careful.”

“Sorry about that, I was kinda thinking about something and I guess I wasn’t looking where I was going,” Rainbow Dash said apologetically. “So, where are you two headed, anyway? Going for one of your spa days?”

“Nope, we’re both headed down to Inkstain’s, if y’all can believe it,” Applejack replied.

“Inkstain’s? You mean the office supply place? Why the hay would you two want to go there?”

“I do manage a fashion business with locations in three separate cities,” Rarity reminded Rainbow Dash. “Well, I suppose two cities and a respectably-sized town would be a bit more accurate but that’s neither here nor there. In any event, I do occasionally require recordkeeping paraphernalia.”

“And Ah’m mostly just doin’ this as a favor fer Big Macintosh,” Applejack added. “He’s helpin’ Granny Smith clear out the barn today so Ah offered to pick up a new ledger and quills fer him. Actually, Ah was thinkin’ Ah might also pick up one of those calendars the Wonderbolts put out as a joke.”

Rainbow Dash blanched at Applejack’s statement as Rarity rolled her eyes. “Really, Applejack? Getting your brother a pinup calendar? Isn’t that a bit, I don’t know, inappropriate?”

“Oh lighten up, Rarity, the dang thing ain’t that bad. Leastways nothin’ in there’s gonna be any worse than the picture of Sugar Belle Big Mac has in his nightstand that he thinks Ah don’t know about.”

“Thank you so very much for that mental image,” Rarity said sarcastically as she made a disgusted face. “I’m certain Rainbow Dash will agree with me that –“ Rarity paused mid-sentence as she realized that Rainbow Dash had abruptly vanished. “That’s odd, I could have sworn Rainbow Dash was standing here just a moment ago.”

“That’s funny, it ain’t like Rainbow to fly off like that without at least sayin’ goodbye,” Applejack said before shrugging. “Ah guess she must have had somewhere important to get to in a hurry.”

As it so happened, Rainbow Dash did in fact have somewhere important that she needed to be right at the moment, specifically out of sight of any of Ponyville’s stallions (and likely several of its mares as well). “Dang it, Rainbow, for the love of Celestia calm down!” Rainbow Dash said to herself as she huddled inside a cloud. “You knew why stallions bought the stupid calendar when you volunteered for it. And besides, think about it, it isn’t like stallions didn’t think about me like that already anyway. I mean, I’m an awesome mare and they’re, well, stallions.” Her self-assurance recovering once again, Rainbow Dash poked her head out from her cloud. “Hay, I bet half the stallions in Ponyville have thought about you like that already anyway. Still, maybe I should talk to Twilight about this whole mess. She’s usually pretty good to talk to about stuff like this, at least when she’s not freaking out about something.”

*********

“Hello? Twilight, are you home?” Rainbow Dash called out as she trotted through the entrance to Twilight’s castle. While it hadn’t taken long for Rainbow Dash to reach Twilight’s castle from the town center it had still been just enough time for Rainbow’s nagging sense of doubt and concern to have returned. “Twilight, I kinda need to talk with you about something. Is anypony home? Twilight? Starlight? Spike?”

“If you’re looking for Twilight, I’m pretty sure she and Spike were headed out to Sugar Cube Corner for one of Pinkie Pie’s parties,” Starlight Glimmer said as she trotted into the hall from the castle library. “I think this one has something to do with that pet shelter project Fluttershy’s been working on. I’d have gone myself, but I promised Trixie we’d have lunch together today. So, what’d you need to talk with Twilight about anyway?”

“It’s, well…” Rainbow Dash began hesitantly. “Did you ever do something for a really good reason, but you weren’t sure how everypony else would react to it? I don’t mean it was bad or anything,” Rainbow Dash added quickly as Starlight raised an eyebrow at her question. “It’s more embarrassing than anything else.”

“Look, whatever it is you did I’m sure nopony’s going to make fun of you for it or anything,” Starlight assured her. “I mean, when you consider the stuff they’ve forgiven other ponies for I’m sure whatever you did wasn’t that bad by comparison.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Rainbow Dash replied. “This whole pinup calendar mess has just got me really off balance. I think I just need to get it out in the open and deal with it. Thanks for the advice, see you later!” Rainbow Dash added as she took to the air and dashed away.

“Don’t mention it!” Starlight called out before suddenly pausing. “Wait a minute, what did she mean by ‘pinup calendar’?”

*********

“Rainbow, you made it! Come on in!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed as she pulled Rainbow Dash into Sugar Cube Corner. The interior of the bakery had been decorated in typical Pinkie Pie party fashion, with balloons, streamers and confetti in abundance. The rest of their friends were already present, along with a small number of Fluttershy’s critters.

“Oh, Rainbow Dash, I was starting to worry that you weren’t going to make it,” Fluttershy added as she flew up and gave Rainbow Dash a hug. “After all, if it weren’t for you we wouldn’t even be having this party.”

“Yeah, about that,” Rainbow Dash said as she extricated herself from Fluttershy. “I’ve been thinking about it and I should probably explain where those bits are going to be coming from. Y’see, the Wonderbolts have the calendar they put out every year and then donate the proceeds to a charity that the mares who pose for it pick out…”

“So y’all are sayin’ y’ posed fer the Wonderbolt’s pinup calendar so they’d donate the bits to Fluttershy’s pet shelter?” Applejack asked. “Shoot, RD, is that why y’all’ve been so jumpy today?”

“I guess I was just a little worried about how you guys were going to react when you found out about it,” Rainbow Dash admitted.

“Oh pish-tosh, Rainbow Dash, did you really think we’d be upset over your posing for a few mildly racy photographs?” Rarity replied. “I admit it wouldn’t perhaps have been how I might have thought to solve the issue but I don’t see anything particularly objectionable about it.”

“You really did something like that just to help me reopen the pet shelter?” Fluttershy asked.

“Come on, it wasn’t that big a deal. I just saw how upset you were over not being able to set up your pet shelter thing and this seemed like a good way to help,” Rainbow Dash said. “Admittedly I was a little weirded out by the idea of being checked out by everypony who buys the calendar.”

“Huh, Ah never really figured y’all fer the self-conscious type,” a bemused Applejack remarked.

“Yeah, well I think I’m pretty much over that part. The way I figure it if stallions want to stare at me then they’re gonna do it whether or not I pose for some stupid calendar. At least this way I can help one of my friends while they do it. Besides, I can’t really blame them; I am awesome, after all,” Rainbow Dash added with a grin.

“Well, in any event I’m glad that you were able to get that off your chest,” Twilight said. “And you should never feel like you can’t tell us something because you’re afraid of how we’ll react; we’re your friends!” Privately, Twilight marveled at Rainbow Dash’s apparent self-assurance. Even after having been a princess for years Twilight still hadn’t quite grown completely accustomed to the sort of attention that came with her title. Twilight wasn’t sure how she would handle being the subject of a very different kind of attention from countless unknown stallions.

*********

“Sister, what in Equestria is so important that you felt the need to wake me in the middle of the afternoon?” Princess Luna asked irritably as she entered Princess Celestia’s study. “And what are you doing with that?”

Princess Celestia glanced down to where Luna was pointing at the latest iteration of the Mares of the Wonderbolts calendar lying on her desk and gave a mischievous grin. “That, Luna, is what provided me with the inspiration for the solution to the hole in Equestria’s budget.”

“You can’t possibly be suggesting –“

“I absolutely am. We’ll need to contact Cadance and Twilight, of course, and then book a photographer. But once we’re finished we’re going to have the best selling calendar in Equestria history!”