“I knew I should have graduated drama school,” Discord grumbled, making an imaginary frame with his fingers. “Hmm, maybe the scales need to be a bit sharper—”
“This is bad! This is bad!” Starlight trotted in circles. The stress was too much to handle right now. “Twilight is so banishing me this time! When she figures out how to banish me. I'm still not sure what damage a mindmerge of such magnitude could—“
“—though nothing that cannot be fixed in post production.” Discord nodded, a large grin forming on his face. “A little magic here, a few effects there.“ He snapped with his tail. Godzilla's scales changed from green to a crimson red, entirely covered in blood dripping spikes. “Some sunset light effec—“ he suddenly stopped, giving the approaching monster a critical glance. “Maybe a little less effects. I don’t want to be stuck in the best costume category.”
“Can you even imagine what it’s like to remember several different childhoods at once?!” Starlight shouted, grabbing Spike in a hyperventilating fit of panic.
“Umm, yeah?” The dragon narrowed his eyes. “Merged with Big Mac, remember?” He pointed at the red stallion.
“Eeyep.” Big Mac nodded.
“Maybe I should change the script a bit,” Discord mused, going through a stack of paper. “Action is all good, but maybe I should go for a slightly risqué experience. What do you think?” He turned to Spike and Big Mac. “Maybe like our Rise of the Zomponies campaign? But with less zombies and more—“
“QUIET!” Starlight shouted.
Everyone—monster and elements-hybrid included—froze still. All eyes stared at Starlight who was very much in the middle of a psychic breakdown. The unicorn’s lips were trembling, her chest was expanding twice its normal chance as she gulped air, while sparks were burst out of her horn like an aether fountain.
Starlight raised her hoof. Her mouth opened in an attempt to say something between breaths, yet no words came. Everyone leaned forward, staring at her mouth. One breath, five breaths, ten breaths... Her hoof moved slightly, starting the arc of a circle in the air, then abruptly thrust down, stomping on the ground. A ball of purple light appeared on the tip of her horn, flashed, danced a bit, then dashed at Starlight, burying itself in her skull.
Seconds passed, disturbed only by the sound of the wind blowing. Discord looked at Spike. Spike looked at Starlight. Big Mac looked at the sky. Godzilla looked at the ground. The elements of harmony looked everywhere. And then Starlight blinked.
“Right, where were we?” she asked, calmly looking around. Her glance moved from Big Mac to Spike to Discord to the giant monster in the distance... to Discord. “Ahem.” Starlight went to the draconequus. “What is that?” she whispered.
“Oh, that.” Discord waved a paw. “Nothing really. Barely anything of significance...” she shoved a nearby camcorder away with his foot. “Just an old acquaintance of mine. And by that I mean almost don’t know him. Complete stranger, really. I’ve no possible idea why he’d even be here.” He gave Spike a surreptitious wink.
Spike rolled his eyes, silently saying there’s no way she’ll fall for this.
But, aaah! Discord’s eyes silently objected. How could she doubt a words I’m saying?
Really? Spike winced.
It’s exactly like the time we were in the inn and you had me haggle with the innkeeper for the price of the rooms. You insisted that I needed to roll three consecutive twenties to convince him of anything, remember? Well, I rolled four making him pay us for the rooms we slept in! If that isn’t the height of persuasion, I don’t know—
“Discord, your eyes are out of your head again,” Starlight said with the voice she reserved form when someone was in serious trouble. “Now, I’ve no diet what’s going on, and I really don’t want to know. What I do know—“ she poked The draconequus in the chest with her forehoof “—is that the I’ll be going to enjoy some time at the spa with Trixie, while you three sort all this out and before Twilight gets here!”
Spike, Discord, and Big Mac blinked in unison.
“Err, Starlight, you don’t, like, remember anything?” Spike asked the question on everyone’s mind. “I mean... the stuff, and the thing, and the other thing...”
“Spike, the last thing I remember was getting up and telling Twilight it might be better if she leaves breakfast to you.” The unicorn shuddered as she said that. “Seriously, she’s probably the only pony I know who gets worse with practice.”
“I know, right!” Spike nodded eagerly. “Like, I keep telling her that it’s fine and I like cooking, but she goes on and on about having to broaden her skills and—“ the dragon stopped abruptly, then shook his head. “But that was ages ago! Don’t you remember anything since then? Like—“ he glanced at the monster in the distance “—things that happened a few minutes ago?”
“Hmm.” Starlight scratched her muzzle. “Nope, not a thing. Must have cast an amnesia spell on myself again.”
“Ah, right!” Spike snapped his finger. “Told you, guys! She cast an amnesia spell onto herself,” he said to Big Mac and Discord—who was rather busy comparing the lumen of two stage lights. “Err, what’s an amnesia spell?” Spike turned back to Starlight.
“Oh, it’s just a little something that I invented to keep my sanity with everything going on in Ponyville.” Starlight smiled. “Back when I was conquering the world, I used it on ponies who had seen too much. Now I use it on myself mostly. Just when I’ve seen something that I really, really, really wanted to unsee... like half of Trixie’s stage rehearsals.”
“Tell me about it,” Discord said in between taking instant photos of Godzilla.
“I’m actually thinking of opening a business,” Starlight continued. “There’s lots of local demand. Big Mac, for one, is a regular.”
“Wait, what?!” Spike gasped, staring at the red earth stallion.
“Family dinners,” Big Mac sighed, the two words explaining it all.
“Oh.” Spike swallowed.
“Anyway, I’ll be off.” Starlight turned around. “You three do what you need to do,” she said over her shoulder. “And clean the map room! There are O&O manuals all over the place!”
Humming a happy tune, Starlight trotted off. Spike looked at Big Mac. Big Mac looked at Spike. Discord kept on looking at Godzilla waving instructions what poses the monster had to do in order to achieve the perfect shot.
“Well, I guess it’ll be just another boring day,” Spike said.
“Eeyup.” Big Mac nodded.
“I guess we won’t be doing anything else today?”
“Ee-nope.”
“Oh well.” The dragon shrugged. “I’ll send a scroll to Ember to help with huge and scaly. You and Discord get Twilight and the girls back to speed.”