Discord watched the crowd enter the burning forest which was currently burning, as things that burn tend to do. He wished he could help Twilight and the crowd prevent Dr. Caballeron from doing… whatever it was he was doing, he wasn't really sure, but unfortunately his various extremities were metaphorically bound by that blasted Deus et Diabolus ex Machina clause.
So he could do nothing except the next thing that he did.
“I didn't expect to see you here, Discord.” Celestia deftly sipped her tea. Which she can do deftly because why not? No one else is taking this seriously.
Discord was not as skilled at Celestia at sipping tea, but he managed to do just fine. Because sipping tea really isn't that hard. It is not traditionally an action associated with deftness. Sure, you might dribble a bit on your chin if you're really bad at it, but we have a word for those kinds of individuals who are incapable of sipping tea and that word is—
“Will you please get on with the narrative? I feel like you're typing just to take up space and I'd like to go somewhere rather than continually insulting the manner in which I sip tea,” Discord said as he sipped his tea in a non-deft manner. “Like that. Less of that.”
Okay, fine, Discord. You sound like my editors. I thought this was supposed to be for—
Discord cleared his throat as he continued to sip his tea. Very undeftly—
“Just shut up about the tea already!”
“Discord, who are you talking to?” Celestia asked as she took a bite of her muffin.
Discord hummed. “Just an ignoramus.”
...you're an ignoramus.
“Anywho,” Discord said as he set the teacup down. “It turns out that your A-Team is in a bit of a pickle.”
Celestia glared at Discord.
“I swear one hundred and ten percent that this is not my fault this time,” he said as he put a paw to his chest.
Celestia eyed Discord down a bit more while stealing a sip of tea. “Do you mean one hundred and ten percent?”
Discord nodded. “On my honor as a draconequus, Princess Celestia.”
Celestia exhaled softly. “Well, I suppose if it's one hundred and ten percent, I can take your word on it. What’s the situation?”
Discord proceeded to explain the events leading up to this point, with the forest fire and Dr. Caballeron and whatnot, Celestia humming and nodding intermittently. When he was done, she set her teacup down.
“I see,” she said, “so it’s a pretty dire situation from what it sounds like, but not quite dire enough for either of us to get involved.”
“Not that you’d be of much help anyway―”
Discord caught the teacup an inch from his face, Celestia scowling at him as her chest expanded and contracted. “Temper, temper, Princess.”
Celestia put her hooves together, then took a deep breath. “Anyway, we can’t help because the situation isn’t bad enough.” She took another bite of her muffin.
“I’m hearing a but…” Discord said as he offered a claw.
Celestia harumphed. “There is no but.”
Discord chortled a bit. “There’s always a but, Princess.”
Celestia crossed her forelegs and looked to the side. “There is one thing we could do.”
“And that is…?”
“Escalate the danger.” Celestia growled. “Throw a free radical into the situation that’ll set everything haywire.”
Discord tapped a talon to his lips. “Interesting…”
Discord―
Oh no. Fuck you, Discord. Don’t you fucking dare. I swear I’ll―
Tirek felt a disturbance in the air in his prison in Tartarus. He turned around to see that vile worm Discord with a vicious grin on his face.
“Say, Tirek baby,” he said, “how do you feel like having your freedom?”
Goddammit Discord.
Discord smirked.
I know, I’m such a rapscallion.