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// Chapter IV: It Goes Downhill From Here - The Musical [Celesti Lateo] 
// Story: Ponemurdered 2 
// by The Gentlecolt 
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   “What in tarnation?” Applejack asked, staring at the burning forest.

   Apple Bloom latched on to her sister’s leg. “Applejack, we’ve got to go there!” she shrieked.

   Rainbow piped up with her nuanced opinion. “You crazy? There’s no way we can go in there. Even I’m not that reckless!”

   “But Mac’s in there!” she shot back.

   Applejack looked at her with wide eyes. “What?! What’s he doing in there?”

   “He was running away from Caballeron!”

   Twilight’s and Rainbow’s ears shot up.

   “Caballeron?” they asked simultaneously.

   “Yeah!” Scootaloo exclaimed with excitement. “It was awesome! He was running through my traps like they weren’t even there and Daring Do was there with a tiny Ahuizotl! Though he sent that dingus—” she points to the henchpony that was currently trying to make himself scarce “—after us. Way less cool.”

   “What traps?” Applejack asked, looming over Scoots.

   It was then, Scootaloo realized, a simple fact: She dun goofed.

   “Um, girls, burning forest?”, Twilight said, trying to get things back on track.

   Applejack continued to stare down at Scoots before turning toward the rest of the group. "Alright, let's go save Big Mac."

   Rainbow flew down to face Applejack. "Wait, wait, wait, what do we do about the bad guy?"

   Applejack rubbed her chin before her eyes lit up. "Pinkie, you know what to do."

   This was met by horrified gasps coming from everyone present, Rarity and Fluttershy looking ready to faint there and then. The only ones not currently feeling any kind of dread were the henchpony himself, who was scoffing at them, and Pinkie Pie, whose smile had become so large it seemed ready to secede and form its own country.

   "You really think I'm afraid of a silly pink c**t like her?", he spat out.

   Scootaloo was now realizing that she was hardly the one who had dun goofed the most today. She came to this conclusion by observing Pinkie's smile, who was still just as large, but had somehow been sucked out of all warmth and friendliness, twitching and straining. Also, her hair was straightening on their own.

   "What..." Pinkie, no, Pinkamena, enunciated slowly, "...did you call me?"

   The henchman smirked.

   "Are you deaf on top of being daft?"

   He laughed a little because of his word play. Because deaf and daft are similar. Look, he's the one thinking it, not me!

   Meanwhile, Twilight was slowly gathering up the group and distancing them from the two. "Uh, Pinkie, we'll be at the Everfree when you're finished. Try not to be too hard on him?"

   Pinkie turned her head towards her, and I mean turn by doing a complete 180°, all while her neck made a faint noise, similar to 'crick, crack'.

   "No promises!" she said with false cheer.

   Twilight, being just as smart as her nickname ‘Purple Smart’ implied, wisely decided it was time to run for the hill. Or forest, as was the case.

   "Right...um, see you later!"

   And she began to run, dragging everyone else away with her magic.

   Now, Pinkamena, alone with the henchpony, was finally able to begin.

   "So, mister meany-pants, have you heard of Cupcakes?"

   He snorted and looked at her with disdain. "Of course I’ve heard of cupcakes, you daft c**t!"

   Pinkie's smile begin to twitch erratically, becoming more of a grimace more than anything else, a bit like the Joker. "Oh, silly! The Joker has nothing on me! I'm the thing he has bad dreams about!"

   That...actually makes sense, when you think about it. Anyway, Cupcakes?

   "Oh, right!"

   "Who are you talking to, you bimbo?" the henchpony sneered.

   "Oh, you silly pony! I'm talking to the author!" she says, trying to point to something. "Uh, right, fanfic, there's no screen. Foowie!"

   Of course, you know the drill by now.

   "So you're daft and crazy?", the henchpony says, beginning to walk away. "I haven't got time to lose with you."

   Suddenly, Pinkamena appeared right in front of him, leading to him falling on his rump.

   "How did-"

   "Now, as I always say, come on and smile!"

   The henchpony, now looking into her eyes, could finally see exactly what he was insulting all along.

   He wished he had brought his brown pants.



   "AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

   "Ahuizotl, shut up!", Daring screams.

   "IIIIII CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNN'TT!!!!!!"

   "Shut up or I drop you!"

   That shut him up, also leading him to pout.

   "Hmmph, some hero you are!"

   "Oh Faust, what did I do to deserve this?"

   Mac cleared his throat.

   "Not to be a bother, but shouldn't we be trying to leave the forest?"

   The two bickering enemies looked at each other before harrumphinh.

   "Right," Mac said, looking around to try and find a path that wouldn't lead to their fiery doom. "This way."

   Ahuizotl perched himself on Daring's head, much to the latter’s annoyance.

   "Are you sure?"

   "Eenope."

   "What!? What do you mean, 'eenope'!?" he shrieked.

   Daring threw her head back to get him back on her back, before replying scathingly.

   "He means he's trying his best! Now shut up, we're the ones running!"

   Mac nods at her, thankful, before turning his head to look in front of him.

   They continue running for a while before Ahuizotl makes himself heard again.

   "Hey, Do!"

   Daring grits her teeth before answering.

   "What?"

   "Can't you just fly up there to make the clouds rain or something?"

   "I can't."

   "Huh? Why not?"

   Daring snorted. "Aside from the fact there's fire everywhere? The weather of the Everfree is too chaotic for a pegasus to control."

   "Oh. Shoot," he said pitifully.

   "Yeah, shoot."

   It was at that moment that they heard screams.

   "Argh, what now?", Daring drawls out.

   They began to head toward the screams, ignoring Ahuizotl’s objections to what he called ‘pointless altruism’. Needless to say, it earned him the stink eye from his companions. As they grew nearer to the source of the screams, they were able to tell they were distinctly coltish in nature, which only made Daring and Mac run faster. They finally arrived at the source, in what used to be a clearing, but now seemed to be a dome of flames and ashes. In the centre of this hellscape, screaming their lungs out and hugging each other were two ponies Mac knew all too well, and was only half-surprised to see there.

   The two were Snips and Snails.

   "What are you two doing here?" Mac bellowed.

   They stopped screaming and, noticing someone who could save them, jumped on Mac, clinging to his legs.

   "Big Mac, save us!" Snips wailed.

   "Why are you here?" Mac repeated.

   "We were only here for a dare!" Snips answered.

   "Yeah! We were getting hungry, so we started a fire to make dinner!" Snails continued.

   "And then a bush suddenly caught on fire for no reason!" Snips finished.

   Mac would facehoof, if it weren't for the colts clinging to him. Daring Do had no such restriction, and did so with a resounding 'clop'.

   "If you ever dare call me stupid again, I'll remind you of these two," Ahuizotl tells Daring.

   She simply moaned in frustration.

   Big Mac sighed before shaking off the colts. "Come on ya two, we're gettin' out of here."

   "But we're too afraid to move!" Snips wailed again.

   "We can't move, we're too afraid!" Snails added because the author thought a Tin Tin joke would be funny.

   Mac had a thought to just leave them there, but ultimately ignored it, because they weren't worth feeling bad about. It wasn't long before they were running again, with Dumb and Dumber Snips and Snails on Mac's back.

   Then, a wild Caballeron appeared, which is not just a Pokémon joke. His mane is dishevelled, full of sticks and leaves, his body covered in soot. His face was contorted in a hateful rictus and he seems about ready to foam at the mouth.

   "Ah-hah! I found you, you despicable pests! Now, have a taste of my wrath!" he declared melodramatically.

   "Ponyfeathers", Daring muttered.



   Twilight and Co. were finally nearing the forest, now being at Sweet Apples Acre. They had paused, mostly to catch their breath, though it did allow Applejack the opportunity to talk to her sister.

   "Bloom?"

   Apple Bloom looked up. "Yeah, sis?"

   AJ put a hoof on Bloom's wither. "I want you and your friends to stay here, okay?"

   "What? Why? We can help!" she protested, swatting away her sister's hoof.

   "It's too dangerous for a little filly like you! I don't want you to get hurt, not when Big Mac is already in trouble!"

   "But-"

   "No buts! I'd never forgive myself if you died like..."

   Bloom immediately understood what her sister had wanted to say, which caused her ears to fold back.

   "Oh. I... fine, I'll stay."

   Applejack smiled sadly. "Thanks, Bloom."

   She looked up to survey the group and saw that Rainbow and Rarity had similar talks with their respective (and surrogate) little sisters.

   'Good', she thought. 'Let's get this show on the road.'

   "So, we ready to go?", Applejack asked.

   "Yes, I think so", Twilight replied.

   "Girls?", Rarity interjected.

   "Yeah, Rares?" Applejack asked.

   "I simply had a thought, couldn't we ask Discord for help?"

   Suddenly, Chaos.

   "Did someone call for me?" His Magnificent Chaoticness, Lord of Disorder, Mad God of Equestria, Local avatar of Sheogorath-

   "Woah, I'll stop you right there. First, you forgot 'His Sexy Handsomeness', second, Sheogorath wished he was anything like me!"

   "Who is he talking to?" Rainbow whispered to Applejack.

   "No idea," Applejack whispered back.

   Fine, Your Sexy handsomeness, mind to continue with the script?

   "Oh, you're no fun!” Discord turned to the group. “So, why did you call me?"

   Twilight shook her head, bewildered, before answering.

   "We need your help! The Everfree is burning and ponies are trapped in there!"

   "Sorry, I can't help you."

   Applejack glared at him.

   "What? Why not?"

   Fluttershy gave him her best puppy look. "Please, Discord? For me?"

   Discord clutched his chest, before a burst of sugar erupted from it.

   "Hgnn, I would, but I can't, I swear!"

   "And why ever not?" Rarity asked.

   "It's part of my contract!"

   He snapped his fingers and a scroll poofed into existence.

   "See here," he says, pointing to a line so small that it's unreadable. "It's the Deus et Diabolus ex Machina clause. It usually only applies to the show, but the author made it apply here. One of them, anyway."

   "You sound like Pinkie," Rainbow Dash said, groaning from the nonsense the Draconequus just spouted.

   "Why, thank you! I can only hope to reach the level of senselessness Her Pink Majesty reaches one day! More screentime would certainly help..."

   "Fine, whatever. Girls, lets go!", Twilight said, heading for the forest.

   The others followed her, with varying degrees of determination. As Fluttershy passed by Discord, he scoops her up in a hug. "Good luck, my dear Fluttershy."

   She smiled. "Thank you, Discord."

   He let her go, and she flew after her friends.