//------------------------------//
// Part 6: I've Got a Princess to Harass 
// Story: Celestia's Chosen Hero... is Carl? 
// by Joey JoJo Shabadoo 
//------------------------------//

Carl stood outside Fluttershy’s bathroom with a towel over his back and a brush in his mouth. He took a deep breath as he mentally prepared himself for his most difficult challenge yet: Showering.

“Showering as a pony can't possibly be any more difficult than it is as a human, right?” He thought to himself.

Carl entered the bathroom, locking the door behind him. He felt strangely relieved, like he was finally able to relax after the stressfully bizarre day he’d had.

He looked over the bathroom, searching for the shower. He was expecting to find a large, sliding glass door with a shower head inside, but the only thing he saw that stuck out to him was a large, wooden barrel with a pipe leaning over it.

Bewildered, Carl looked all over the room multiple times, refusing to believe pony bathrooms were this primitive. Perhaps he missed it? He checked every inch of the room, but found nothing. 

“Great…” He sighed. “A bucket and a pipe. You certainly don’t live in the lap of luxury, do you, Fluttershy?"

Carl climbed into the barrel where he encountered his first obstacle. “How do I turn that valve?” A rusty valve sat atop the pipe. Carl reached for it, but it was just out of his grasp. “It can never be fucking easy, can it…?”

Carl had to crawl back out of the barrel and check around the side of the pipe. He couldn’t check from behind as it was backed up against the wall. He needed to find a way to grab the valve with both hooves and somehow twist it, but that proved difficult as the space between the barrel and the wall was far too narrow for Carl’s body.

No matter how he saw it, given the tight space, it was impossible for anybody his size to reach that valve.

“How the hell does she use this thing?” Carl complained, until he remembered Fluttershy’s most obvious features. “Oh, right. Her wings…”

He went to the back of the room and opened the cabinet. The top was full of towels and cleaning cloths, but at the bottom was a handy step ladder. “Finally, something that makes sense, around here.”

Carl placed the step ladder in front of the pipe and climbed on top. Now, he was fully capable of conquering the valve. He grabbed hold with both hooves and twisted as hard as he could, but it didn’t budge, denying him access to any water. “Oh... come on! Give... me... the water... you son of a bitch!”

He struggled for a few minutes, but feared if he pushed himself too much he may snap the valve clean off, so he quit.

“How does Fluttershy do this!?” Carl tried again, this time turning the valve in the opposite direction. He threw all his strength into forcing the valve to turn and to his surprise, it worked. It worked so well, in fact, that all that extra, unnecessary energy he used threw him off balance, flinging him back into the barrel as the water from the pipe burst forth, pouring all over his face.

Carl sarcastically chuckled to himself. “I...I was turning it the wrong way… cute…”

Fluttershy suddenly knocked on the door, calling after Carl. “Are you okay? I heard a loud thump!”

“I’m fin- ah! Fuck!” He screamed.

“Carl?”

“Why is the water so fucking cold!?”

“Oh, just give it a minute, it’ll heat up.”

There was a pause as the sound of running water filled the silence. After a few seconds Carl mildly exclaimed. “Oh… there it is….”

Carl stood underneath the pipe as the water rinsed through his fur and mane. He could already feel the swamp stench and filth washing off of him. It was the first time he had felt refreshed since arriving in Ponyville.

However, the next phase of the battle was upon him. He reached down for his brush, but realised, once again, the hardship of picking up and holding items without fingers. Carl grabbed the brush between both hooves and stood on his hind legs, leaning back against the barrel to balance himself.

Scrubbing the muck off of his stomach was relatively easy, but now came the true test of skill. He pulled his front legs behind himself and attempted to scrub his back.

“Oh… come on!” It felt extremely awkward, he couldn’t angle the brush properly or hold it in a satisfying, tight grip, instead it just slipped around in his hooves. “God… come on… you piece of… stop moving… FUCK!” The brush slipped out of his hooves and onto the floor. “You son a-!”

“Carl, are you sure you’re okay in there?” Fluttershy called again.

“I-I’m fine… go away…”

“Really? You sound like you’re having a lot of trouble.”

“Fuck off. I’m fine.”

“Do you want me to come in and help wash you?”

“Are you fucked, woman!? I’m naked in here!”

“But, we’re always naked.”

“Oh….. w-well, you still can’t come in.”

“I’m just offering to help.”

“I don’t need your help. I can figure this shit out on my own.”

“Carl, I can hear you dropping the brush as we speak. I think you should let me in.”

“N-no way! I don’t care if we’re naked all the time. You’re not washing me, you weirdo. I can handle this myself.”

A bang suddenly struck from inside the bathroom. “Oh my gosh! Are you okay!? Did you hurt yourself!?”

Fluttershy heard a mild, agonising groan. “I-I slipped on my butt…”

“Carl, please just let me in, before you hurt yourself again.”

There was a sound of wet shuffling, followed by hoofsteps as the door was unlocked and slowly creaked open. Carl just stood there with a tired, unamused expression, as the water from the pipe began spilling over the barrel and onto the floor, which was already covered in swamp filth.

Despite the chaos that ravaged her bathroom, Fluttershy couldn’t help but laugh. “Geez, Carl. You’re a mess.”

“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up. Let’s just get this over with.” He kicked the brush over to Fluttershy as he sat, wallowing in his own filth.

Naturally, Fluttershy had no problems picking up the brush, she turned off the water valve and helped Carl back into the tub. He sat forward as Fluttershy began scrubbing his back, washing away the swamp grime from his fur. She started scrubbing harder as the grime became more stubborn.

“Ow! What the hell!?” Carl cried.

“Sorry, just being thorough.”

After his body was cleared of all remnants of swamp sludge, there was just one last thing to do. “Do you want me to help wash your mane, too?”

Carl looked over at the bottle of shampoo sitting on the side. Images of all the horrible ways washing his mane could potentially blow up in his face, flashed through his mind. The chemicals spraying in his face, crushing the bottle as the liquid squirted all over the floor, accidental ingestion. Carl wanted none of it and so, reluctantly agreed to Fluttershy's proposal.

“Yeah… Go for it…”

Fluttershy applied the shampoo and began massaging it into his mane, scrubbing extra hard, to make sure she got all the filth out.

She noticed Carl had suddenly gone very quiet. “Is everything alright? I’m not hurting you again, am I?”

“It’s fine…”

“You know, I heard from Twilight that you were pretty loud and mean… and rude and selfish and arrogant and-”

“Are you going somewhere with this?”

“Well, it’s just, you’re not acting like that at all. Is something bothering you?”

Carl, sighed. “This is dumb…”

“Excuse me?”

“This stupid body. I can’t even wash myself without needing someone to babysit me, like some retarded child...”

“It’s not your fault. You just need more experience in your new body, that’s all.”

“And how do I get that?”

“Slowly, over time.”

“Goddammit…”

Fluttershy directed Carl over to the pipe as she rinsed his mane with the water, washing away the last of the grime. “There, all done.”

After helping him dry off, Carl was feeling good as new. “Finally, now I can get the hell out of here.”

“Really, already?”

“Yep. See ya.”

“But, do you even know where you’re going?”

“Back to town?”

“Why?”

“Obviously, to go bitch at Princess Purple. One minutes she’s all ‘The Princess told me to stick with you no matter what’, and the next thing I know, she fucking ditches me like an asshole!”

Fluttershy sensed there may be more animosity between Carl and her friend than she expected. “Um, maybe I should go with you, just in case.”

“Why are you so adamant about helping me? Haven't you meddled enough?”

Fluttershy wasn't too happy about having her honest efforts to help described as mere meddling. She had no other choice, but to get assertive. “Listen, Carl. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that you are obviously lost and confused in this world. Can you honestly say that you don't need anypony's help? Do you even know how to get back to town?”

“Well, yeah… you just go past…. the thing… over that hill… where there’s… something…”

“Carl, there’s no shame in asking somepony for help, especially when you clearly have no idea what you’re doing. Please, stop being so stubborn and let me help you.”

As a last ditch effort, Fluttershy brought out the big guns and flashed Carl the stare. Her eyes were large and powerful, like black holes of sweetness, drawing in the hearts of anyone who saw them, with no hope of escape. Carl tried to resist them, but even he couldn’t fight off their charm. After everything Fluttershy had done for him, he almost felt like he owed her this.

“Alright, alright! Just stop giving me that look!”

“See, was that so hard?”

“That felt like a fucking battle.”

Fluttershy flew on ahead as she fluttered down the stairs. She turned to find Carl, who was more stammering than fluttering.

“Uh, you okay, there?”

“Sh-shut up. I got this.” Carl slowly put one hoof after another down each step as he tried to remember his rhythm from before. Carefully, he walked down the stairs, focusing intensely, until he finally made it to the bottom step.

“Ha!” He yelled. “You see that shit!? Only took me a minute that time!”

“See? I told you, you’d get used to it over time.”

With Fluttershy’s guidance, Carl returned to Ponyville. As they wandered through town, they were greeted by a myriad of ponies, or rather, Fluttershy was.

Carl just watched silently as she waved to her fellow townspeople. Like it was something out of a disgustingly sweet sitcom.

“Aren’t the ponies here just lovely, Carl?” She asked.

“Bleargh…” Carl gagged.

“Bleargh?”

“Yeah.”

“Is that an expression from your world?”

“What? You can’t be fuckin-”

Carl was interrupted by Fluttershy’s giggling as he realised, he was just played.

“Goddammit…”

“I learned from the best.”

“Well, your best is an asshole.”

“Heya, guys!” From seemingly nowhere, Carl was suddenly blindsided by a familiar pink blur.

“Oh, fuck me. Not you, again…” Carl could already feel the headache starting to swell in the back of his head like a tumor.

“Heya, Carl. It’s me, Pinkie. Do ya remember me?”

Carl simply groaned, as if he had stomach pains.

“Hello, Pinkie.” Fluttershy waved.

“Fluttershy, I see you and Carl are getting along. You two got any plans together?”

“Oh, my, no. I’m just his escort.”

Carl nearly choked on his own laughter. Of course, Fluttershy remained oblivious.

“So, where are you escorting him?”

“We’re going to see Twilight.”

Pinkie’s expression changed for a second, she almost looked anxious. “Oh… h-hey, that’s neat, I guess.”

“The hell are you all antsy about?” Carl questioned.

“But, I think it’d be way better if we did something super fun together! You, know, to strengthen our friendship.”

Fluttershy was intrigued. “Oh, what did you have in mind?”

Pinkie grabbed hold of their arms and lead them across town to show them the ‘super fun’ activity she had planned.

“Bowling!” She declared.

Carl was perplexed by her suggestion. “You dragged us halfway across town for this?”

“You bet I did. I mean, who doesn’t enjoy a fun game of bowling!?”

“Me.”

“I think it’s a wonderful idea. It’ll help you unwind a bit.” Fluttershy replied. “Or are you scared I’ll beat you?”

“I know you’re just baiting me, but I owe you for earlier, so… fine.”

Pinkie jumped for joy. This was finally her chance to carve a smile on Carl's concrete face. 

They entered the bowling alley and booked a lane. As they took their seats and prepared the scores, Carl was distracted by the building’s decor.

“Jesus Christ… what is with you horses and sticking hearts on fucking everything?”

Pinkie leapt towards Carl, eager to answer. “Because, Friendship is Magic!”

“Is that really it?”

“Yeah, what were you expecting?”

“Something more logical.”

“But, friendship literally is magic.”

“What does that 'literally' even mean?”

“It means what it says.”

“And that means?”

“What it says.”

“....... just take your turn, Pinkie.”

“Gotcha!”

Pinkie went ahead as Carl took a seat on the bench. Although, he didn’t sit like a normal pony would, instead he choose to sit upright with his arms and legs spread open as if he were still bipedal.

“That’s an odd way to sit.” Fluttershy noticed.

“That’s just how we do it in the human world.”

“Oh, I don’t really know much about the human world.”

“WOOHOO!” Pinkie suddenly cheered. “Check that out!”

The two looked over at Pinkie’s lane, Carl was unimpressed. “That’s a split, Pinkie.”

“I know, right? What’re the odds?”

“Just… finish your turn.”

“I already did!”

Carl checked the pins immediately. They were knocked down, still spinning from the impact.

“Wha-? When!?”

“I took it during that brief pause in your ellipses a few lines ago.”

“Sure, okay..." He sighed, mentally exhausted. "I guess it’s my turn…”

Ignoring Pinkie’s mad rambling, Carl walked over to the bowling balls and tried to figure out how he was even supposed to use them with hooves. Upon further inspection, he noticed a curious detail. “Hey, I hate to sound like a broken record, but what the fuck is this?”

“That’s a bowling ball!” Pinkie answered.

“No, pinhead! Why are there finger holes? You’re horses! You don’t have fingers! What possible purpose could these things serve!?”

Just then, there was a loud bang as streamers and confetti burst out of the balls finger holes. Carl freaked out from shock, dropping the ball as it crashed into the floor. “Holy shit… my heart!”

“Aww, was my surprise really that touching?”

“That nearly killed me! What combination of drugs and or sugar are you on, woman!?”

“It was just a funny goof, Carl.”

“Funny!? You rigged my ball with explosives! That’s not funny, that’s arson!”

“They were just streamers…”

“How did you know I was going to pick this ball anyway? Are all these balls rigged with explosives!?”

As if on command, every ball on the rack suddenly fired streamers from every orifice, raining down strings of colourful paper and confetti on Carl’s head.

“Maybe…”

“Are you actually retarded!?”

“Retarded? Is that, like, a tart, or something?”

“Just… go sit down....”

Pinkie quietly returned to her seat as Carl prepared to take his turn. Picking up the bowling balls wasn’t as difficult as he imagined, they actually fit quite snugly between his hooves.

He analysed the lane and his own strength to try and create a strategy for the best way to get a strike, but then realised that it was just a stupid game of bowling and that he should probably play like a normal person instead.

And so, he did what any normal person would do, threw the ball and prayed. His plan seemed to work out for him, until the ball took a sudden right turn and veered straight into the gutter.

“Fuck!”

Ashamed and embarrassed, Carl awaited the ball’s return. “That first shot was just practise.” He told himself. “This is where the real game begins.”

He decided on a gentler approach and instead, pushed the ball down the lane. It wasn’t as quick, but at least the ball remained steady, until it slowly veered over to the right and slumped into the gutter.

“Shit!”

Defeated, Carl moped back to his seat, where Pinkie attempted to cheer him up. “Well, you get an A for effort.”

“Shut up.”

Next was Fluttershy’s turn. Not being the strongest pony ever, she picked the lightest ball she could find, although she poked at it a few times first, to make sure it wasn’t rigged with streamers.

She placed it on the floor, taking great care to correctly lineup her shot. She then turned around and softly tapped the ball as it slowly crawled down the lane.

Carl snickered to himself. Fluttershy’s bowling skills were even worse than his, she may not get a gutter ball, but at this rate, he’d be amazed if she hit anything at all.

As the ball casually strolled towards the pins, Carl eagerly anticipated the inevitable non-collision. Once it reached its destination, the ball lightly poked the front pin. The pin vibrated and toppled over. Carl was about to bust a gut, but the fallen pin slowly spun in place, knocking into the pins behind it, causing a ripple effect that eventually knocked down the whole pack.

“Oh, what the fuck!?”

As Carl sat there, baffled, Fluttershy let out a modest: “Yay.”

Carl wasn’t going to just ignore this abnormality. He leaned forward, ready to analyse Fluttershy’s next shot. Understanding how her slow, strike shot worked was his top priority. She used the same set-up, the lightest ball and a gentle kick to set the ball in motion.

Carl paid close attention as he awaited the moment of impact.

“Hey, Carl! Can you believe she got a strike!?” Pinkie butted in.

Carl’s heart skipped a beat, he was so focused he forgot Pinkie was sitting right next to him. “Will you shut the hell up? I’m trying to focus here.”

“Oops, sorry….. But it’s still pretty impressive, right? I wonder how she did it.”

“Pinkie, what part of ‘shut the hell up’ do you not-” Carl’s rant was interrupted by the sound of collapsing pins. He turned to the lane, awestruck.

“Oh my… I got another strike. Woohoo.”

“WHAT!?” He was speechless. Now, more than ever, he needed to know. Was Fluttershy’s technique genuine or just dumb luck?

“Um, getting two strikes means I get a third shot, right?” Fluttershy asked out of courtesy for her friends.

“Yeah!” Pinkie cheered. “You go knock those pins into next week, Fluttershy!”

She grabbed her bowling ball and readied her stance a third time. “Um, Carl. What are you doing?”

Carl was bending down beside her, closely watching how Fluttershy lined up her shot. “Don’t mind me, just pretend I’m not here.”

“Um, not to be rude, but it's kind of hard to pretend when your face is right in my ball..."

“What? Oh, right, but I’ll be watching.” Carl backed away as Fluttershy unleashed her third shot. It rolled just as slowly as before, but then, gradually started veering off towards the right and landed in the gutter.

“What the fuck was that!?” Carl cried.

“I’m sorry, I just got so nervous with you watching that I messed up.”

“But it looked exactly the same as your last shot! How am I supposed to copy that!?”

“Uh, maybe you should come up with your own technique.”

“Do I look like the kind of guy who can learn that shit on his own?”

"Of course you do."

"Uhh... goddammit..."

Carl and Fluttershy returned to the bench as Pinkie Pie prepared for her turn. She grabbed hold of her ball, focused long and hard and threw it down the lane with reckless abandon.

It bounced, it crashed and it smashed through the pins like a meteor, scoring her a decisive strike. “Oh yeah! Go Pinkie! Hey guys, did you see that!?”

They didn’t, Carl was too busy trying to convince Fluttershy to spill the beans on her bowling technique. She refused, of course, as she wanted Carl to learn on his own, but their conversation had left Pinkie all alone on the lane.

Her attempts at making Carl smile had fallen flat and now she was being completely ignored. A feeling of failure and sadness fell over her, she even lost the energy to continue playing and just dropped the ball right into the gutter and took her seat.

“Your turn.” Pinkie informed.

“Alright, make way bitches. I’ve got a strat to figure out.” Carl marched over to the lane.

“I can’t tell if he’s having fun or taking this way too seriously.” Fluttershy pondered.

“I’m sure it’s the latter.” Pinkie responded.

Carl examined the balls, searching for the one Fluttershy used. 

“Step 1: Use the lightest ball. 
Step 2: Line up the trajectory of the shot just right.” 

He took great care in lining up the ball perfectly with the front pin. 

“Step 3: A gentle- wait a minute.”

From observing his current set-up, Carl almost missed a glaring error. The only reason Fluttershy even used the lightest ball was because she wasn’t all that strong to begin with. This lead Carl to rethink his strategy.

“Of course, she used the lightest ball because it’s the only one she could use.” He thought to himself. “In that case, I’ll just have to use a ball that’s more comparable to my own strength.” Carl swapped the light ball out for a heavier option.

He tapped the ball, but it hardly budged. He tapped it harder, but it still refused to move. “Come on, you stupid mother-!” In a burst of impatient rage, he bucked the ball as hard as he could, causing it to careen across the lane and smash through the wall above the pins.

“Oh, shit…” Despite the damage he caused, the pins stood firm, much to his annoyance.

As security caught wind of his shenanigans, Carl continued his turn anyway, determined to give his strategy one more shot. He quickly lined up a new ball and bucked it again, but all he accomplished was widening the hole he had already created with his previous attempt.

“Excuse me, sir.” Two rather large ponies, in black suits approached Carl. “I’m afraid we’re going to have to ask you to vacate the premises.”

“Oh yeah?” He taunted. “And what are you gonna-” Carl was immediately tossed out of the bowling alley and slapped with a year long ban for damages and talking back to security.

“Bowling’s for nerds, anyway!” Carl yelled, even though the security ponies had already left.

Pinkie and Fluttershy shortly joined him, exiting the building without any fuss or drama.

“So, I take it were finished with bowling today?” Fluttershy asked.

“I guess so.” Pinkie answered. “But, that’s okay, there’s still plenty of other things we can do in Ponyville, together.”

Carl could already feel the migraine drilling into his brain as he realised Pinkie wasn’t leaving. “I’m sure there is, Pinkie… but I don’t care. You and Flutters can go have fun together, but as for me, I’ve got a princess to harass.”

“Oh, no, no, no.” Pinkie rushed over to Carl. “You can’t leave yet.”

“Oh, god. Please, go away.”

“But, we haven’t even… uh, checked out the Ponyville theatre. I’m sure they’ve got a great show lined up for this evening.”

“I’m not interested, get lost.”

“Besides, don’t we need to book tickets before the show starts?” Fluttershy added.

Pinkie thought for a second. “Well, that just means we need to get our rears in gear and get over there, pronto!”

“I’m pretty sure we need to book them at least one day in advance.”

“Oh, well, we’ll just sneak in then.”

“Isn’t that illegal?”

“Only if we get caught!”

“Pinkie, are you feeling okay? You’re acting really strange, even for you.”

“Oh, I’m just super excited to show Carl a fun time, gotta put a smile on that face somehow, right?”

“You might want to hurry up, then. He's already leaving.”

“What!?” Pinkie caught sight of Carl in the distance as he was headed for Twilight’s castle. She frantically dashed to catch up to him, running directly in front of him.

“Hey, Carl. Long time no see.”

“It’s been thirty seconds.”

“My, how time flies…”

“Move, retard.” Carl nudged Pinkie aside as she slid across the ground and continued on his way.

Remaining persistent, Pinkie caught up, again. “Hey, how about we go back to Sugarcube Corner and I’ll bake you a cake… for real this time. No exploding ovens.”

“No, thanks. I’d rather guilt Twiggles into making something for me, instead.”

“Guilt? Can’t you just ask her like a normal pony?”

“I’m not a normal pony. Besides, I’m not letting her off the hook that easily, you gotta make her squirm, first.”

“Hey, instead of squirming, how about we do something more relaxing?”

“I really don- woah!” Before Carl knew it, Pinkie had dragged him across town to the spar, with Fluttershy being left to fly after them.

“Wha-? How did-?” Carl couldn’t believe the amount of distance they managed to travel in that short burst of speed.

“I bet an hour in the spa will make all that stress of yours just melt away.”

“Do you really think I'm the sort of person who'll enjoy a spa?”

“Uh… maybe?”

The spar was a bust, Pinkie desperately tried to think of something else to distract Carl with. She grabbed his arm and dragged him across town to another Ponyville attraction, as Fluttershy frantically tried to keep up.

“Goddammit, now where are we?”

“Welcome to Sweet Apple Acres. I bet we’ll find all kinds of fun things to do here.”

A strong whiff of vintage farm essence, drifted into Carl’s nose. “Oh, Christ, it smells like shit… is this a farm?”

“Heck, yeah! You wanna go bucking for apples?”

“Not if they smell like this!”

“Maybe I shouldn’t have brought you here the day they were spraying the fields…. Oh, I know what we can do!”

Pinkie, once again, dragged Carl across town, to another place of interest.

“Will you stop with the high-speed, kidnapping, already!?” Carl protested.

“Look, Carl. It’s the Ponyville clock tower. Isn’t it neat?”

“Oh, wow. A clock, I’m fucking speechless.”

“Really? But, you’re speaking right now.”

Carl was about to blow a fuse. He just wanted to return to the castle, but for some reason, Pinkie was doing everything in her power to prevent him from getting anywhere near it.

Realising she was losing his interest again, Pinkie tried to take him to another location, but Carl swiftly smacked her arm away. “Enough, with the grabbing! What the fuck is your deal!? All you’ve done today is drag me all over town to show me shit nobody cares about!”

“I-I just…”

“You just what? You gonna give me some crap about friendship? Or wanting to make me smile? Why can’t you just take ‘no’ for an answer!? Why do you have to act like a fucking, hyper-active child!? Why can’t you just leave me ALONE!?”

“But…”

“But, nothing! I am tired, I am hungry and the last thing I need right now is some fuckhead yammering in my ear all day, like a fucking jackhammer pounding directly into my fucking skull!”

“T-there’s a restaurant we can…”

“FUCK!

OFF!

PINKIE!”

Carl had to yell right in Pinkie’s face, hoping he could finally get his message across.

“CARL!” A voice called from just a few metres away.

“Oh, what perfect fucking timing.”

Twilight Sparkle suddenly appeared before them, appalled by what she was witnessing. She immediately rushed to Pinkie’s aid. “Oh, Pinkie. I’m so sorry about this...”

“It’s okay… I’ll just go home now...” Pinkie slowly sulked away, as if she had been sapped dry of all her usual bombastic energy.

“What possible reason could you have had to yell at Pinkie Pie like that!?”

“Because she’s fucking annoying! Seriously, how many times do I have to say ‘no’ around here, before someone takes the fucking hint!?”

“She was only trying to help!”

“Help with what!? Just because you say that doesn’t mean she was doing anything helpful in the slightest! I mean, what the hell was her obsession with dragging me all around town!?”

“I asked her to!”

“Oh, well good fucking call on that one, genius!”

“I asked her to keep you away from the castle and instead, show you around town in the hopes that you would mellow out, but I guess even Pinkie Pie couldn't create that miracle!”

“Don’t try to pin the blame on me just because your dumb idea backfired on you!”

“Don’t you dare imply that this is my fault! I have been nothing but patient with you all day, but all I got out of it was grief. All you’ve done is shout, complain and show complete disrespect for everything we stand for, treating everypony you meet like dirt! You don’t care about us, you don’t care about Equestria and I don’t think you even care about yourself! You’re just a lost cause, Carl!”

“You can talk shit all you want, but you’re own Princess was the one who brought me here. As long as I’m her trump card, in whatever the fuck she’s planning, I can’t leave. You’re stuck with me whether we like it or not, so quit your bitching, already!”

“Not anymore…"

"What!?"

"I don’t care how important you supposedly are, I’ve had it with you. For the horrible treatment of pretty much everypony around you. You, Carl, are no longer welcome at my castle!”

“You can't be serious.”

“You heard me! I don’t care what the Princess says, as the Princess of Friendship, I hereby decree that you, Carl, are not allowed anywhere near my castle! Go find somepony else who’ll deal with your obnoxious, spiteful, hateful attitude!”

And with that final statement, Twilight ended their heated debate and flew away.

“Good!” Carl yelled. “I’m finally free from your bullshit!”

He turned to leave, but stopped in his tracks as he came face-to-face with Fluttershy. Carl had completely forgotten that she had been following him around Ponyville and much like Twilight, she was not happy.

“Oh, for god’s sake. Now, what?”

Fluttershy remained resolute, but also, a little upset.

“Why did you do all that?” She asked.

“Because, I’m pissed and stinking mad.”

“But, did you have to be so mean?”

“Of course I did.”

“Look, Carl, I’m not going to pretend I fully understand who you are, or why you do the things you do. I don’t know if it’s a human thing, or a 'you' thing, but I DO NOT appreciate you treating my friends like that! Do you understand me!?”

Carl was taken aback. Fluttershy wasn’t just acting tough, she wasn’t hesitant or shaken at all. She was dead serious, it was almost scary.

However, this assertiveness didn’t last long. She took in a deep breath to calm herself down, keeping her head held low, to hide how truly disappointed she was.

“Dammit…” Carl muttered. “I’m out of here.”

“But, where will you go?”

“Just, go help you friend, Fluttershy.”

“But… you’re my friend, too.”

“Leave! Before I get pissed off, again!”

“Okay... please, stay safe.”

As Fluttershy flew away, Carl was left alone, as the Sun was setting and dark storm clouds rolled in with the sound of thunder rumbling in the distance. He headed off. Where to? He had no idea...

“Fucking ponies…”