//------------------------------// // 016 - Shipping! // Story: Songs of the Spheres // by GMBlackjack //------------------------------// Twilight and Company stepped through a dimensional device’s portal into a sunny town reminiscent of Ponyville, but with a more brown-green color scheme. Ponies walked around with smiles on their faces, waving to each other and occasionally laughing. “This looks familiar…” Pinkie mused. Fluttershy rolled her eyes. Pinkie giggled. “Think there’s going to be anything here for us?” Rarity asked. “Seems as if it might be awfully redundant.” “We should at least say hi,” Nova said, twirling her hoof in the air to accentuate the point. Twilight nodded in agreement. She scanned the town for ponies to talk to. “Let’s see… Oh! I see me.” She pointed at a purple unicorn walking down the street, books in her saddlebags. “No wings. This should be interesting.” Pinkie bounced over to Other Twilight first. “Heeeeeeeeey!” She blinked. “Oh, hi Pinkie.” She smirked. “So, about last night-“ “Ashushashushamush!” Pinkie said, shoving a hoof into the unicorn’s mouth. “I am not the Pinkie you know. I come from an alternate uuuuniverse!” The unicorn rolled her eyes. “Oh Pinkie, come on, that again?” “Again?” Princess Twilight said, walking closer. “You’ve had other visitors?” The unicorn blinked, smirk vanishing. “Oh. …I just thought Pinkie was joking… Oh my gosh you’re me!” Twilight grinned. “Yeah. I’m Princess of Friendship Twilight Sparkle, from Equestria. We were just dropping by to see what your world was like.” “That’s so amazing!” the unicorn shouted. “You’re a princess and… Eeeeeeee!” She did a little dancing motion with her legs. Twilight found this absolutely adorable, unable to contain her laughter. “Yep! Mind telling us a bit about yourself and where we are?” “Oh not at all! Welcome to Neighton! I’m just Twilight Sparkle. I run the library. And live in it.” Twilight blinked. “…Is it by chance Golden Oaks library?” “Why, yes! It’s even built into a tree! Do you have one as well?” Twilight smiled sadly. “I used to. It… Got blown up several years ago. I have a full-sized castle now, but it’s not the same.” The unicorn clasped Twilight’s hoof in her own. “I’m so sorry… I couldn’t imagine what’d happen to me if my Golden Oaks got destroyed.” Rarity looked the unicorn up and down. “Well, seeing as you’re not an alicorn… It may just be that it hasn’t happened yet for you.” “…Wh-what do you mean?” “Well, I don’t know if this world follows the same path ours did, but if you become an alicorn and face off against a monster known as Tirek, your library will be destroyed in the encounter.” Pinkie grinned. “Think of this as a warning! If that ever happens, try to keep your library out of the blast!” “I… Thank you,” the unicorn bowed. “I’ll do what I can, if or when that happens.” Twilight smiled. “Good. It’d be more than I did…” she shook her head. “Anyway, you know me, this is Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Rarity, and Nova.” The unicorn narrowed her eyes at Nova. “…Why not ‘Starlight’? The rest of you have the same names.” Nova shrugged. “I go by Nova to differentiate myself from the other Starlights. These four should get their own names at some point. Sooner rather than later.” Rarity nudged Twilight. “I keep telling this Princess here she should consider something relating to ‘Charter,’ since that’s what ponies are calling her.” Twilight rolled her eyes. “And I keep telling you that ‘Charter’ is a title, if anything, not a name.” Nova snickered. “You may not have a choice in the matter.” “You all still call me Twilight, don’t you?” “I suppose that’s true. But be prepared for the day we strike gold!” Pinkie pointed at Nova. “That would have been perfect if Twilight were yellow, then we’d have come up with a name involving gold!” Fluttershy raised an eyebrow. “Seems a bit on-the-nose.” Nova laughed. “Who cares about that, really? It just needs to get the job done.” The unicorn Twilight looked at Nova, furrowing her brow. “You’re very different from the Starlight I know. The rest of you are a similar – Fluttershy’s a bit more forward, admittedly – but you blow expectations out of the water, Nova.” “Well… when Twilight met me, I was not the nicest pony. Had a bit of an issue brainwashing an entire town.” She smiled sheepishly. “She took me in and helped me get to where I am now. So we might actually be pretty similar, just… displaced.” The unicorn pondered this. “Maybe… I’ll keep that in mind.” “So…” Pinkie said, leaning closer to the unicorn. “What do ponies do for fun around here?” “Well, we do normal pony things. Go out, talk, party, date, and basically just enjoy life. Unless you’re me, in which case you spend most of your day analyzing ponies.” “Ah,” Twilight said, remembering when she had thought friendship was a puzzle that needed to be analyzed scientifically. It was a little embarrassing and she had to fight not to say anything to her counterpart about it. It would be best if she discovered that on her own. “Hey, what do we do?” Fluttershy asked. “The other versions of us, I mean.” “Oh! Uh, Pinkie’s a party planner, Fluttershy’s a traveling biologist, and Rarity runs the newspaper.” Rarity blinked. “…Identical, close, and way, way far off.” “Oh? What do you do then?” “I run a boutique back home. Sell finely crafted dresses.” She looked around the town of Neighton and pointed at a building. “Looks almost exactly like that place, actually,” “Huh. That’s… Actually a diner,” the unicorn frowned. “Pretty good one, but I can’t imagine a clothing store there. Clothes just get in the way, after all.” Everyone gasped. Fluttershy quickly ran to Rarity and stroked her mane. “There, there Rarity… Things are just different here… Don’t freak out…” Rarity’s eye twitched. “I… Know…” Unicorn Twilight put a hoof over her mouth and blushed. “Oh, I’m sorry! I didn’t think they could mean all that much to you! Sorry!” Rarity gently pushed Fluttershy away and straightened her mane. “It’s fine, darling. I’m the one exploring, I’ll just have to accept being slapped across the face once in a while.” “I’m still sorry! How can I make it up to you?” “Twilight, there’s no need. Everything’s fine now, I just needed to recover. Although…” She looked at the diner. “I think I want to eat there. See what it’s like.” The unicorn tossed Rarity ten bits. “That should cover a meal for you, no matter how exorbitant it is.” Rarity smiled. “Anypony else coming?” Fluttershy blinked. “Rarity, we literally ate just before we came here.” Rarity shrugged. “I suppose I’m just going there to get a feel for the place, see if it’s worthy of the space it’s using. See you girls later then.” Princess Twilight nodded. “We’ll either come get you at the diner, or be at the place we appeared.” “Got it!” Rarity said, trotting off. “And then there were four…” Pinkie said, strangely ominously. “I count five,” Nova said, pointing at the unicorn Twilight. Pinkie raised an eyebrow. “Well, then there’s just about to be four.” She raised a hoof to the air, and out of nowhere another Pinkie appeared and hoofbumped it. Fluttershy blinked. “Oh.” The new Pinkie grinned. “Hey! Me! Want a party!?” “DO I EVER!?” “THEN LET’S MOVE I HAVE ONE GOING RIGHT NOW!” “ARE THE PARTY CANNONS IN FULL SWING?” “YOU BET!” The two bounced off before any of the other ponies could say anything. Nova put a hoof to her chin. “You know, if I was more paranoid I’d say these ponies were trying to separate us and pick us off one by one.” Fluttershy shook her head. “I don’t think so. I think this place really is nice.” “Thanks,” the unicorn said. “We try.” “I’m sure you do,” Twilight said. “So…Can we go see the Golden Oaks Library? Please?” “Yeah, I’ve never actually seen it,” Nova said. The unicorn beamed. “Of course we can! Right this way!” She trotted away, the three otherworldly ponies following close behind. They only made it a few yards before a blur of rainbow barreled into Fluttershy. Fluttershy reacted quickly, spreading her wings and bouncing off the ground with her front hoof, knocking the speeding pegasus off her and onto the nearby ground. “Woah! Fluttershy! When did you get so quick?” Rainbow Dash said, eyes spinning. Fluttershy shook her head to clear it. “Ah, I’m not the Fluttershy you know. Other world.” “Yeah, ri-“ Rainbow Dash saw the two Twilights. “…Oh. All right then.” She blushed slightly. “Sorry for barrelling into you then. I thought you were her.” “It’s okay. If you travel around a lot, you get recognized incorrectly a lot. I’m getting used to it - though admittedly this is my first time being sky-tackled.” Princess Twilight groaned. “Meanwhile, almost every other Rainbow Dash we meet loves to find some excuse to tackle me for whatever reason.” “Very interesting,” the unicorn noted. Rainbow Dash stretched her wings and pointed at Fluttershy. “Heyyyy… Flutters, you think you’re a good flier?” “Um. Well, no – actually, wait…” She put a hoof to her chin. “I think I’ve had to get better at it now. So I don’t really know how good I am.” “Whatever, you’re better than my Fluttershy by a mile, I can already see that. Let’s race.” “I don’t know…” Nova smirked. “You’ll do fine, Fluttershy. I think you might win, actually, given all the flying you’ve had to do lately.” Fluttershy shrugged. “I guess I can, then. Where we going?” Rainbow Dash pointed to a cloud in the distance. “See it?” Fluttershy nodded. “Ready… Set… Go!” The two pegasi took to the skies, flying over the heads of the now three-pony party. “…Do you think I’ll even make it to the library?” Twilight asked her counterpart. “Who knows. You do seem to be fans of splitting up.” “I swear, it’s just a fluke today!” “We’ll see who actually makes it to the library then, won’t we?” Nova smirked. “That we will.” They walked further down the street, passing many cheerful, friendly ponies who waved at them as they passed. At one point they passed close to a mare and a stallion sitting on a bench, staring deeply into one another’s eyes. Then, like something snapped between them, they started passionately kissing and fell off the bench. Nova and Twilight blinked in surprise at the sudden movement. “Ah, love is in the air,” the unicorn Twilight said, smiling. “Come on, let’s leave them be. The library is right over there.” Twilight and Nova managed, with some effort, to tear their eyes off the passionate kissing that was now taking place on the ground and push it out of their minds. After all, it wasn’t their business. Right? Just two ponies enjoying each others’ company. ~~~ Rarity walked into the ‘Hungry Bun’ diner, her graceful stride drawing more than a few appreciating glances. She wondered if this was because she looked good, or because she looked like the unicorn who ran the newspaper. Or, as was probably the case, both. The diner itself looked nothing like her Boutique on the inside, save from the same general shape of the room. Half of the rounded interior was blocked off presumably to make room for an in-depth kitchen while the part Rarity could see was filled with clean, silvery tables at which sat many, many patrons. The vast majority of tables only had two stools at them, but there were a couple booths. Rarity looked to her left where a sign read ‘seat yourself’. She shrugged, pulled up to a two-seat table next to the window, and grabbed a menu. She was vaguely aware of giggling and happy chatter coming from the other patrons, but she paid them no mind. She’d do that after she ordered. The diner specialized in ‘things-in-buns’, ranging from carrot-dogs to hayburgers to a few things Rarity had never actually heard of. What even was a ‘Neighpon Panini’? “Can Ah take your order, Miss Rarity?” Rarity looked to her left and down to see a familiar yellow filly. A cute version of Applebloom, Applejack’s younger sister, with a chef’s hat instead of a little bow. “Oh! I’m sorry, I’m not actually the pony you know. I’m…” She frowned. “Miss Belle.” Applebloom raised an eyebrow. “Whatever you say. What you want?” “I am curious. Since I’m new in town, care to tell me what exactly a Neighpon Panini is?” “Ah really have no idea. It tastes really good and we ship the key ingredient from Neighpon, whatever it is.” Rarity pursed her lips. “Am I feeling adventurous today…” “I’d order it,” a tall, black pegasus stallion said, leaning in on the table. “It’s a good bit of food that doesn’t taste quite like anything else, not to mention it always makes you feel a little better. I swear, they charm it with something back there.” Rarity smiled. “I believe I’ll take that then.” “Make that a double order,” the stallion said, sliding in the opposite seat. “That is, if you don’t mind.” Rarity chuckled to herself. “Not at all!” Applebloom scribbled something short in her notebook. “It’ll be right out.” The stallion smiled at Rarity. “So, what’s a beautiful unicorn like you doing in a place like this?” “I could ask the same of you.” “Name’s Thunder Lane. I travel around a lot performing stunt shows, and I just have to drop by this diner every time. Food’s great, the ponies are great, and you never know who you’ll meet!” “Really? Well, I’m a bit of a traveler myself. Name’s Rarity, not to be confused with the other Rarity in this town. I’m from so, so far away, you have no idea.” “You don’t sound foreign. How long did it take to get our accent down?” Rarity smirked. “I believe that’s the translation spell I have on me, dear. It’s almost guaranteed I’m not speaking your language at all.” Thunder sat back and put his front hooves behind his head. “You weren’t kidding when you said far away.” “It might as well be another world entirely.” “That just makes me want to see your world. I travel around a lot, who knows? Maybe I’ve been there.” Rarity shook her head. “Have you ever needed a translation spell to get by? Don’t think so.” “Eh, probably not. But a guy’s got to try, right?” He raised his eyebrows up and down. “I’m certainly not stopping you from trying. I do expect I’ll run your bragging thoroughly through the ground, though. Sorry in advance.” “Ouch. Feisty,” he said, feigning pain. “The graceful mare slowly murders her companion with words…” Rarity chuckled. “What makes you think it’s going to be slow?” Thunder Lane blinked. “Okay, so you could tear me apart quickly. I don’t think so though. No mare with those sweet, blue eyes could bring themselves to do such a thing.” “Oh my, the compliments,” Rarity tried to deadpan, but chuckled and blushed instead. “Quite the gentlestallion I’ve found myself here.” “The gentlestallion is astounded by the words of praise coming from the lady’s lips.” Rarity raised her eyebrow. “Really? Third person?” “It was worth a shot, wasn’t it?” “I’m not leaving in a huff yet, am I?” Rarity said. The food arrived a moment later. Two plates set with a bun and some strange, orange filling drizzled with caramel-colored sauce. Rarity lifted the sticky mess in her telekinesis. “How is a non-unicorn supposed to eat this in a dignified manner?” Thunder Lane smirked. “It takes some doing. First, you’ve got to arrange your plate like so. Then, you’ve got to have the coordination of a monkey and the dexterity of a hummingbird. Watch.” He slammed his hoof into the table, flipping the Neighpon Panini into the air. He opened his mouth and swallowed the entire thing in one swift gulp. Rarity stared at him, rather speechless. “Or you could just use a fork,” Thunder Lane said, picking up a nearby fork with his wing. “I just prefer the all-at-once approach, because it stuns mares speechless.” “…I’m just not sure if that was dignified or not.” “Well, do you feel like stomping off in a huff at my ‘uncultured’ eating habits?” “No…” “Then it must be dignified enough,” he smirked. “And now you need to eat yours.” Rarity delicately levitated the sticky mess to her mouth and took a small, delicate bite. The flavor of the food item was intense – both sweet and sour at the same time, and yet somehow carried with it the feeling of being at an ocean beach and smelling the sea air. She took a moment to look at what she was eating again. “…The secret ingredient might be fish.” Thunder Lane blinked. “Wait, really? Wait, how do you know?” “When you travel as much as I have, you sometimes eat things outside your normal diet range. Pretty sure there’s fish in here.” She took another bite. “Not that I’m complaining, mind you.” “…Are we allowed to eat fish?” “I have no idea about you, but I am,” Rarity smirked, taking another bite. “Mmmm, delicious. Certainly a different taste.” “I’m still trying to get over the fact that there’s probably some form of meat in here.” “Thunder, animals eat meat all the time. It’s not as big of a deal as you’re making it out to be. Just because tigers don’t naturally eat any sort of plant doesn’t mean they can’t enjoy a watermelon from time to time.” “That makes just enough sense to keep me from having an existential crisis,” Thunder Lane commended. Rarity took another slow bite of the Neighpon Panini, savoring the unique flavor. She had to admit, this was an acceptable use of her boutique. Even if it never had been her boutique. Or had any relation to her boutique. …Who cared if it made sense, she was just happier that this place was good. As she thought, she forgot to keep a tight hold on all the Neighpon Panini’s sauce, and some dripped down onto her face. “Oh, Drat.” “Here, let me get that.” Before Rarity could do anything, Thunder Lane leaned over the table and wiped the smear off with a flick of his wing. Rarity stared right into his much closer eyes and blushed furiously. She couldn’t bring herself to say anything. He moved in, connecting his lips with her own. Lightly, gently, as if testing the waters. He pulled away shortly thereafter. Rarity dropped her Neighpon Panini on back on the plate, splashing the sauce on both of them. She stared blankly into space, trying to process what had just happened and failing for the most part. It was only about one second before the two of them broke out into childish laughter. Rarity picked a napkin up off the table and started wiping herself down. “Well, Thunder, that was… a bit fast. And unexpected.” Thunder Lane started wiping himself off as well. “Hey, you were the one who said it wouldn’t go slow.” “I do believe you misread me a little there.” “Oh? Really?” Thunder Lane raised an eyebrow. “Too fast for you?” “A bit, yes. But I’m not storming off in a huff, now am I?” “Nope.” “So let’s continue from where we are now, and see where this goes. I assume you have time?” “All day!” Rarity smiled. “Good. Why don’t you tell me more about yourself?” Thunder Lane grinned. “Gladly, my lady.” Rarity shook her head. This stallion was absolutely crazy and far too forward. And yet… she couldn’t bring herself to stop quite yet. She was intrigued… ~~~ Fluttershy had no idea why she was actually trying to beat this Rainbow Dash, but she was. She was flapping her wings as hard as she could and had her hooves pointed in front of her face for maximum speed. She was very surprised to find that she was actually gaining on the rainbow blur that was Rainbow Dash, and this filled her with an inexplicable desire to win. She smiled to herself – it actually felt good, to be able to fly like this. All those years she’d held herself back, calling herself a weak flier… She wasn’t. She was able to dive bomb to protect her friends, keep up with the many birds of the sky, and could keep an eye on everything around her. She was even producing a pink magic trail behind her, which not every pegasus could do. It was good, not to feel held back anymore. She still couldn’t do any fancy tricks, but she didn’t feel the need to either. She was just able to fly freely now. And that was all she needed. Still would be a nice bonus to actually win this race. She narrowed her eyes and strained her wings just a little more, trying to get a slight boost. She was still behind Rainbow Dash and the goal cloud was fast approaching. She tightened her back legs, trying to force them back so they wouldn’t interfere with the air around her. She angled the motion of her wings – cut forward, push back, cut forward, push back, faster… Faster… Fluttershy saw Rainbow Dash glance behind her. That would slow her down, maybe enough for Fluttershy to pass her. Rainbow Dash made a bigger mistake right after that. Something made her tumble head over hooves, losing almost all her speed. Fluttershy put her hooves to her mouth and did a quick loop to grab the out of control Rainbow Dash. She didn’t struggle the entire time between Fluttershy grabbing her and setting her on the cloud. Rainbow Dash rubbed her nose, wiping away some blood. “Gah. Stupid nosebleed. Made me lose.” Fluttershy set herself down next to Rainbow Dash. “You still got to the cloud first, Rainbow.” “Those were pity points, and you know it.” “Yeah… What happened to your nose, by the way? I didn’t see you hit anything?” “I have no idea,” Rainbow Dash grunted, rubbing her nose. “I look back to check on you and BAM, nosebleed.” “Maybe it was the pressure?” “Usually don’t have that problem.” She shook her head. “By the way, nice flying. Like, really nice. You might have won anyway.” “Wow, thanks,” Fluttershy said, a little taken aback. “My Rainbow Dash would never admit she might lose.” “My Fluttershy would never even bother to race.” Fluttershy smiled warmly. “Well, give her time. I think if you treat her well she’ll gain some confidence. It’ll be a long, slow process, but it can work.” Rainbow Dash laid down on the cloud. “Yeeeah… It’s hard sometimes, though, y’know? You want to do things with her and you try to spend time with her but she always turns it down. Get her to go somewhere and she ditches the moment anything happens, when you’re not looking. I just…” She sighed. “Sorry, I shouldn’t be venting to you. It must be weird, hearing about yourself.” “It’s almost like hearing about my past self,” Fluttershy said. “So yeah, a liiiittle weird, but I’m used to this sort of thing by now. She’s locking herself up?” “Yeah. Nothing I can do gets her out, and it’s really hard sometimes.” Fluttershy put a wing around Rainbow Dash. “Well, I have a suggestion. If you greet her like you greeted me, you’re probably scaring her. Your brashness, your excitability, your energy. To her, those things are probably scary.” “…Really?” Rainbow Dash said, looking up into Fluttershy’s eyes. “Really. I used to hide from everything I could. You and Pinkie were the two of my friends I tried to avoid, simply because I didn’t have the nerve to engage with the loudness and excitability. It was exhausting, and nerve-wracking.” Rainbow Dash frowned. “So… What do I do?” “Tone down the loudness around her, if you want to help her. The other you… Didn’t really do that for me, so I had to come around in other ways. But I think it would have helped a lot.” “So I… Change myself?” “Nothing so drastic, but… Maybe just realize that being loud all the time isn’t always very nice? And cool it on the tackles.” “But… those things define me. I am the action pony! If I take those away, won’t she see something that isn’t me?” Fluttershy raised an eyebrow. “I think she knows who you are at this point, assuming you’ve been friends for a while. Just show her you’re willing to give her some space, and I think things will improve. But don’t back off completely, since that’d just let her shrink into her cave again.” “That sounds… hard.” Fluttershy nodded. “You’ll have to be patient with her. Very patient. It will take a lot of work on both your parts, but it can work out in the end. I’m sure of it.” “…I don’t know…” “Hey, it’s okay if you don’t think you can do it. Some ponies just can’t.” Rainbow Dash sniffed, wiping her eyes. “I really don’t know.” “Shh… It’s okay. I’m just here to help.” “I… Yeah. Thanks.” She looked off into the distance, at Celestia’s sun. “Hey…” “Hrm?” “You’re a lot more willing and strong than she is…” “Yeah?” Fluttershy responded, cocking her head. “Want to, you know, maybe… Try something?” “Try what?” Rainbow Dash blushed furiously. “I mean, I’m not sure I can give her what she wants, and maybe what I’m supposed to take away from this is that I should stop chasing after her. But… You, on the other hand…” Fluttershy retracted her wing and fixed Rainbow Dash with an unsure expression. “W-what are you saying?” Rainbow Dash approached her, eyebrows raised. “I’m saying why don’t we, er, get to know each other a little better. The hungry bun is always open for two ponies looking for that…” “R-rainbow Dash! Are you asking me on a date?!” “Uh… yeah?” “We just met!” Fluttershy blurted. “Uh, so? I-I mean, is that a problem?” “Of course it’s a problem!” Fluttershy pointed at her. “It – it’s way too fast! It’s just out of nowhere and… and…” “Ah,” Rainbow Dash drooped. “You have someone. I understand.” “N-no?” Fluttershy said. “I don’t have anyone. I’m just not interested.” Rainbow Dash’s sad, depressed expression switched to anger. “What!?” Fluttershy backed away. “…What…?” “Are you telling me that you, a single mare, are turning down an offer? From me nonetheless? Who does that!?” “R-rainbow Dash, I think you need to c-calm down…” “Oh no, we’re not calming down now! Do you have any idea how much of an insult that is? Oh look at me, I’m a Fluttershy, I fly in such a way that makes Rainbow Dash notice me, I stroke her mane to help her through emotional problems, I care - why would you do all that just to reject me? Huh!?” Fluttershy glared, taking a firm stance and recollecting her thoughts. “I don’t think you understand how this works.” “It’s how it always works!” Rainbow Dash shouted. “Two ponies get together, share a moment, and BAM, there it is! You don’t fight that urge unless you’re Starlight!” “I guess I’m like Starlight then.” Rainbow Dash growled. “You owe me. I’m not in the mood for a round of hard-to-get.” She stepped forward. Fluttershy Stared at her. “You need to go now, Rainbow Dash.” Rainbow Dash’s eyes twitched. “I d-don’t think so!” Fluttershy slapped her, knocking her off the cloud. “BACK OFF!” Rainbow Dash flew back up to eye level with Fluttershy. The rainbow pegasus was crying profusely. She flew away as fast as she could. Fluttershy was still breathing heavily. Tears streaked down her own cheeks. She didn’t understand what had just happened. She didn’t have the emotional power left within her to even try to understand either. She just laid down on the cloud and let herself cry. ~~~ “So what kind of party is this?” Pinkie One said. “The wildest kind of party you’ll ever see!” Pinkie Two announced. “Wilder than even yours!” “Oh, I doubt that! One time there was a party war with a party tank!” “You didn’t set that one up yourself!” “Ah, I could though! If I wanted to, anyway!” Pinkie Two giggled. “True. But what you’re about to see is going to blow your miiiiiiiind!” “I’ll believe that when I actually see it!” “Now, no peeking ahead of time, you hear me?” Pinkie One nodded. “I’m nooooot, you know I’m not!” “That I doooo!” “OooooOOOOoooo we’re so spoopy!” “So, which building is it?” Pinkie Two pointed a hoof at a large residence with an ornate oak door. “Right this way, me-from-the-other-place!” Pinkie bounced up to the door and threw it open. “HELLO EVERYPONY I’M HERE TO PA-“ She stopped talking. She quickly turned around, slammed the door shut, and walked into the street. Pinkie Two blinked. “…What’s wrong?” “You’ve scarred me for life!” Pinkie One wailed, ramming her head into the ground. “That’s… That wasn’t a party! That was messed up was what that was!” Pinkie Two’s eyes began to form tears. “I… I… I…” “Oh no!” Pinkie One yelled. “Don’t cry! You can and they can do what they want-“ she shivered at the thought. “Buuuuut that’s just not my thing! Okay?” “How can it not be your thing?” “Pinkie, come ooooon, do a little search!” “Oooooooh…” Pinkie Two said, tapping her head. “Right… I see… Wow you ponies have a sad existence.” “Hey!” Pinkie One retorted. “We get by just fine without getting that wild!” “But where’s the fun in that?” “Maybe there’s more to life and parties than just fun! Maybe there are, I don’t know, more important things?” “Woah… You’re really off the deep end, aren’t you? That’s okay, I guess we’re more likely to be like that.” Pinkie One grabbed her head and rammed it into the ground again. There were muffled screams of exasperation. Then she shot bolt upright onto all four hooves. “Okay. Done. I’m done with today. I’m going to see if I can pull some brain bleach out of somewhere and forget I ever saw that. Then I can go on with my life.” “But Pinkie! Come oooooon! You should at least try-“ “NO!” Pinkie One snapped, shoving a hoof into her counterpart’s face. “None of that. Nooooone of that. Nope. Nope nope nope. Noooooope.” Pinkie Two shrugged. “Your loss.” “No, yours.” The two giggled, then looked at each other like aliens, then walked their own separate directions. Pinkie One sat down at the side of a road later and held her head. “Agh. Why. Why did I have to see that? Come on! I’d like to knoooow! Oh, I know lots of things, do I? Yeah but I’m not an omnipotent she-demon or something!” “You okay?” A stallion asked, walking over to her with a concerned expression on his face. “Do not talk to me,” Pinkie said, pointing a hoof. “I can feel the ‘romance’ flowing off you. Not today, got it?” The stallion whimpered and walked away. Pinkie decided now was a good time to stare blankly ahead at nothing for the next few hours. Because why not. It was better than talking to herself and attracting… unwanted attention. For once in her life, attention was a bad thing. She shivered to herself. ~~~ Twilight blinked. “Hey, where’d Nova go? She was here just a second ago.” The unicorn Twilight shrugged. “Maybe she saw herself, I don’t know. All I know is that we’re alone and now we’re at the library!” Twilight smiled with nostalgia as she laid eyes upon the familiar wooden visage of Golden Oaks Library. The coloring was slightly off, and a couple of the branches were different sizes than she remembered, but there was no doubt in her mind that this was her home. She really hoped this one didn’t get destroyed as well. “Want to come inside?” “Sure!” Twilight said, walking in the front door and gazing at the shelves upon shelves of books. “I wonder if any of the books are different…” “We could take a look! We can skip the romance studies section though, I’m sure you’ve already studied that exhaustively.” “Uh… what?” The unicorn blinked. “Didn’t Princess Celestia send you to your library to learn about romance?” “No, I had to learn about friendship. Hence ‘Princess of Friendship’.” The unicorn gasped. “Oh my Celestia, you didn’t study romance? How did you survive?” “What do you mean? I didn’t have much of a problem.” “Did you come pre-installed with a special somepony then?” Twilight cocked her head. “No… Don’t have one. And I generally don’t have much of a desire to get one.” The unicorn looked like she couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “Have you ever been with anybody?” “I mean, no? I danced with a guy in an alternate universe once, but I wasn’t exactly myself.” The unicorn grabbed Twilight by the cheeks. “We’ve got to fix this immediately. Come with me, we’ll be in the romance section. We’ve got to get you in the playing field.” Twilight walked with her to the romance section, frowning. “Why though? I’m perfectly happy the way I am.” “Lies. Classic case of hard to get, possibly even kuudere, but you don’t strike me as rash enough for that. I mean, we all know aromantics don’t actually exist, been socially proven. Nothing just-so-story legend.” “You’re saying a lot of things that sound pretty crazy to me. Also a little… disrespectful.” The unicorn looked Twilight right in the eyes. “Listen to me, other me. I am the master shipper in this town. I know exactly who to pair with who, at what time, and how long. I-“ “How long?” “Yeah. Not everypony needs the same partner for that long. Some ponies do, others don’t. Come on, this is basic stuff! How starved are you? You must be holding in a lot of emotions. Can’t be healthy.” “I’m not though,” Twilight said, recoiling. “Why is it such a big deal? I- oh. Ooooooooooh.” She facehooved. “I think I get it. Your universe must operate on romance, or something.” “…Come again?” Twilight smiled. “Romance isn’t a big deal where we come from, not really. I know of a few paired off ponies – my brother’s one of them – but for the most part we’re all just happy to live our lives. Most ponies aren’t in any rush to pair up or-“ “That… That sounds horrible!” the unicorn interrupted. “I… I don’t think I could live in a world where that wasn’t the case! It’d be like living as Rainbow Dash for eternity, never letting the feelings out for any reason just because of stubbornness!” “Really, Twilight, I’m happy, there’s no need-“ “No,” the unicorn said, stuffing her hoof in Twilight’s mouth. “I’m the best shipper in town. I’ll find somepony for you and prove it’ll work. Just place two ponies together and BAM, match!” “…That strikes me as emotionally unhealthy.” “Why? It’s how matches are made nine out of ten times! Of course, as I said, you could be a hard-to-get or a kuudere. Or something more exotic, being from a universe where… Oh, is it possible you’re actually an aromantic? Oh my Celestia, can such ponies exist out there? Your lives must be horrible!” “Hey, I-“ The unicorn took out a giant book and laid it on the table. “I’ve accepted this challenge, as the student and possible future Princess of Romance, I will find you, at the very least, a one night stand…” “Twilight! Hey! No! Stop!” The unicorn stared at the alicorn. “…Why?” “I, just, this feels wrong, don’t you say? For you to just smash me in a position with someone and demand we click?” “I haven’t failed yet!” Twilight grabbed her head, which was starting to throb. “Oh for the love of… Listen, Twilight, listen. Think for a moment that maybe, just maybe, that not everything runs on romance.” “…Impossible. Why else is it so prevalent? Our minds are filled with thoughts almost solely devoted to romantic inclinations! It is the primary driving force in our nation!” “And that’s not the case where I’m from.” The unicorn fixed Twilight with a big, innocent grin. “Then I’m here to show you how wonderful it is and improve your culture!” “That’s not-“ Twilight stopped herself. A single phrase entered her mind. Something she’d said to so many different worlds so many times. Friendship is Magic. Other common remarks came shortly thereafter. Try to be friendlier. Stop the fighting! We’re here to help you. Look at how we can make things better. “…You okay?” the unicorn asked. “I… I’m not sure. I may be on the verge of a minor existential breakdown…” She shook her head. “Okay. I’ll try it. I’d just be a hypocrite if I didn’t. Though, I do suggest toning down the enthusiasm if you want to try this on other ponies. There’s going to be a lot of similar reactions.” The unicorn clapped her hooves in glee. “All right! So, first off, I have to set some ground rules. Mares or stallions or both?” “…Stallions, I guess?” “Stallion leaning…” She checked something off on her list. “Care about the race at all?” “Not that I’m aware of.” “Good… Good…” She made a few more marks. “The next question is ‘what do you typically look for in a partner’, but obviously this won’t apply to you. So, tell me what traits you find admirable in other ponies.” “Intelligence, Passion, Kindness, Loyalty, Laughter, Generosity, Honesty-“ “Ignoring the listing of the Elements of Harmony.” Twilight rolled her eyes. “Okay then. Intelligence and Passion still count. Drive. Courage. Hope. Understanding. Diversity.” “Okay, good enough then. You mentioned something about being concerned with the timeframe of the relationship.” “Yeah. Isn’t romance supposed to be, I don’t know, a life-long commitment?” The unicorn put her hoof to her chin. “That is the strongest and generally most fulfilling kind of romance, though of course not always, but there’s a big problem. Ponies click all the time, regularly, left and right. With so many clicks happening all the time, rarely will any long-term relationship be able to last. It’s beautiful when one manages to blossom and stay strong for decades, and it’s certainly the stuff of legends told to swoon ponies, but it’s just not realistic.” “Forgive me if I don’t believe you.” “Look, I may not be the best example, but I’ve had a different pony every month or so. The average is about six months, I think. There’s several click moments a day, I’m sure you saw the one outside on the bench, right?” “…Yes.” “Basically, I can try to find you a lifelong partner, but there’s no guarantee you’ll be able to resist the click, and definitely not him.” “How does your culture even raise children?” Twilight wondered aloud. “Uh, the parents who bore them dur. Who else?” “But if they keep changing…” “Ohhhhh…” The unicorn hit herself upside the head. “That’s right! You guys probably still have jealousy in your universe! I feel your pain. We mostly got rid of that a while back. Took some cultural renovations, but we all realized it was flat impossible for every pony to remain devoted. Too much power in the desires.” Twilight frowned. “That just sounds… sad. It actually makes the romance seem… less potent to me. Like it means little.” “Well how would you know if, as you claim, you’ve never really experienced it?” Twilight had nothing to say to that. “…It just feels wrong, is all. But I’ll go along for now.” “I’d recommend staying away from Pinkie’s parties then. They’re promoting the idea of continual sharing.” Twilight blinked. “…I have no comment.” “Fair enough…” She dug through a few more pages in her book and made some more notes. “Well, I can try to get you as long term as you want, perhaps even start with an initial date with no intention of having an instant click…” “…You’re speaking more and more alien. I’m pretty sure it’s supposed to be several dates before you make anything official.” “Your world is backwards.” “…Actually we’ve been to hundreds of worlds. Yours seems to be the oddball, here.” The unicorn frowned. “…Strange. That does deserve more looking into… After I’m done with you I think I’d like to explore a bit!” Twilight wasn’t sure why, but she felt like that was a horrible idea. ~~~ “Where in Celestia’s name am I?” Nova shouted. A pink unicorn removed her goggles and placed them over her horn, revealing herself to be a Starlight. “Yeah. Hi. You’re in my secret research station.” “…Your what?” “Please don’t freak out, I had to get you in here without anypony noticing.” Nova looked around at the ‘station’ – which was just a basement lined with pictures. Hundreds of pictures of ponies kissing, making eyes at each other, and sitting staring into each other’s eyes. “…This is freaky.” “Yes. It is. But someone has to keep track of what’s going on,” Starlight said, taking a deep breath. “I figured that if anyone would understand me, it’d be you. And that I had to get to you before they did. Her in particular.” “…Who?” “Twilight. The unicorn. The shipper.” “I’m afraid I don’t understand anything about what you’re saying.” Starlight bit her lip. “Okay, so, in order to answer that, I have to ask a question. Does your world define itself in almost every interaction by spontaneous displays of romantic affection? Like that couple on the bench?” “…No. Wait, that thing on the bench defines this place?” Starlight nodded sadly at Nova. “Indeed it does. For the last few years, I’ve slowly become aware of a ‘curse’ of sorts placed on our entire world.” She used her magic to lift a picture of a younger version of herself playing with a small, sunny colt. “Every pony feels the urge, the click, as Twilight named it. Every day, thousands of ponies – in a relationship or not – feel an instant, nearly inexplicable attraction to another pony, and the vast majority of the time that feeling is reciprocated. They explain it away as something about the event that made them click, but the things that happen are things that happen every day. Talking over dinner. Racing. Having fun at a completely normal party…” She put the picture back on the wall. “I myself am not immune. But I decided to fight it as a young filly when I saw what it was doing to the ponies around me. It was… hard. It still is. Ponies cry because I run the moment a click happens.” Nova shook her head. “T-this is a lot to take in. Are you saying there’s, like, some kind of love curse on the world, or something?” “It’s not a curse as we understand it, but it’s definitely not natural,” Starlight said, taking out a large sheet of paper and laying it out on the table. “It’s not magic. But, after years of research, I was able to prove that there is some force that acts whenever a click happens.” She pointed at a bunch of scrawlings that reminded Nova of some of the things she’d seen Corona working on. “…You can’t understand what this says, can you?” “No, sorry. I was never a good scientist or intellectual mage. I just think and cast.” “Well… I guess the details aren’t that important. What is important is that there is something strong acting in this world, Nova, and nopony cares. Nopony cares that our world is under the thumb of something else. Everypony just wants to find the next click or to enjoy their lives in blissful romance without a care for much of anything else.” Nova furrowed her brow. “That… that does sound horrible. Do you have any idea how to stop it?” “No. All I can do is detect it, and only barely. Whatever it is, it’s everywhere – even on you – but it’s ambient unless there’s a click going on. It’s as if some fundamental force of the universe is forcing ponies together!” Starlight sighed. “I… I really don’t know why I brought you in here. You can’t help me.” “…Maybe you just needed someone to agree with you?” Starlight smiled. “Yeah. Maybe. Nopony else has ever agreed…” “Starlight, is there… Anypony else like you?” Starlight shook her head. “No. I used to go around, trying to preach to ponies about what I saw. Nopony ever listened. It was like they couldn’t. Many times I could barely listen to myself…” Nova put a hoof on her back. “Hey, you tried. I’m not sure we can do anything against this force… But we can get you out of here. We once met a world filled with double-talking manipulative liar ponies. One of them decided she didn’t like what her universe had for her, so she left. Version of Fluttershy who goes by the name Lieshy now. She’s part of a team that explores the multiverse.” “You… You’re really offering me a way out?” Starlight asked. “I don’t see why not. You obviously aren’t happy here. And… no offense, I don’t even think our more technologically advanced allies could help with something like… this.” She gestured at the vast conspiracy wall Starlight had set up. “And I’m not sure the ponies here would like us even if we could.” “That’s true… …I guess… It just feels so wrong throwing it all away, choosing a new name, and leaving the problem behind.” “Some things… Can’t be fixed,” Nova said, hugging her counterpart close. Starlight kissed her without thinking – then jumped into the air and placed herself against a wall. Pictures and papers fluttered to the floor, punctuating the scene in silence. Starlight clinged to the wall, her eyes darting in every direction. “THAT DIDN’T HAPPEN. OKAY? OKAY?” Nova wiped the kiss off her check and shook her head. “There… There really is a problem here.” Starlight blushed furiously, like so many ponies in this world did. “Y-yeah. I need out of here. I need to move, change my name, and... yeah. Yeah that sounds good. Starbeat. I can be Starbeat.” Nova helped Starbeat up. “You’ve just chosen your name in a moment of emotional turmoil. Hope you don’t regret it.” Starbeat took a breath. “Let’s… Let’s just get out of here. Grab your friends.” Nova paled. “Wait… If you’re actively fighting your inner urge, what’s happening to them?” “…Probably nothing good,” Starbeat said. ~~~ General Sunset and Toph were sitting at a bar. Sunset passed Toph a drink. “Wow. I’ve had to keep reminding people that I’m blind, but never have I had to remind someone that I’m just a kid. Not even fourteen here! There’s no way I’m supposed to drink that!” Sunset rammed her head into the table and groaned. Toph completely forgot her earlier annoyance and laughed. “That can’t be easy on your antlers.” “It isn’t,” Sunset confirmed, lifting her head up and downing her drink. She downed Toph’s as well, for good measure. “I’m just a little sick of not getting any information about the Sage.” “I think we’ve gotten plenty of information!” Toph said. “Let’s see… She’s an oculus, she likes to grab ponies who think they’re heroes and manipulate them into giving her magic artifacts, she can probably see into the future, and she’s got some kind of evil plan!” “We’re not even sure it is an evil plan, Toph.” Toph shrugged, kicking her feet up onto the bar. “It seems pretty obvious to me that she’s up to no good. She royally screwed up the Hub, took the diamond, and had you and Applejack at each other’s throats for years!” Sunset nodded. “Fair point. You really know how to cut right to the meat of the issue, don’t you?” “I do. Especially when I’m on a planet that has almost no meat. Why do only mawlie joints ever have anything succulent?” Sunset rolled her eyes, not dignifying the question with a response. Toph suddenly sat up, alert. “Somebody big is coming.” “How far?” Sunset asked, preparing a few anticipatory spells. “Far, but moving fast.” Sunset could feel the earth shaking with the hoofsteps of whoever was coming. Every patron in the bar turned to the main doors. They were gently opened, revealing a gigantic pony in full plate armor made of a white metal. A tremendous warhammer floated in the armored behemoth’s telekinesis, ready to smash at a moment’s notice. The pony walked up to Sunset and Toph and set the hammer on the ground. “Wow. Big guy,” Toph said. The ‘big guy’ removed the helmet and set it down – revealing a mare inside with a purple mane, white coat, and blue eyes. Her head looked too small for the armor she was in. “I am no guy, little one. I am Lady Rarity.” “Oh. Yeah, weirdest Rarity so far,” Toph commented. “…What?” “Nothing,” Sunset said. “What do you want from us?” “I hear you’ve been asking around about the Sage. I can tell you a bit about her.” “She manipulated you too, huh?” Toph said. “Apparently that’s going around.” “She did a little more than that,” Rarity said. “I knew her when she was young. She betrayed me to embark on the path she currently walks.” Sunset’s ears perked up. She shook her head, trying to clear her head of inebriation. “This is new. Continue.” “I’m not giving it to you for nothing. I’ll tell you all I know, but only if Toph here agrees to meet with a friend of mine.” “Tell us who this friend is,” Sunset demanded. Toph folded her arms. “I can make my own choices, Sunset. I’ll go regardless of who it is, so long as I’ll be able to come back.” Rarity nodded. “You have my word as a Lady that you will be returned before the day is out. She only wishes one conversation with you, to give you some insight. She does not want to get involved with the military.” “Oh, so she’s a criminal?” Sunset said. “Yeah, obviously,” Toph said, waving her hand. “I accept!” “Toph-“ “Too late, already did, spill the beans lady. …That sounds a lot lamer when your actual title is Lady.” Rarity nodded. “Pinkie and I were born in the town of Serville. It was a small town, out of the way, everything was self-contained and we didn’t care too much about anything. She was one of two oculi in town, the other being her mother. From the beginning, everypony knew she was no ordinary oculus. She knew things she had never witnessed, was able to answer questions about the future, and regularly commented on how people were destined to act. Like she was some kind of prophet.” “Were these predictions accurate?” Sunset asked. “Most often, yes. But she made less and less of them as time went on, because ponies feared her for it. Meanwhile, I joined the town guard and protected us from whatever would come, namely wild magic creatures from the nearby forest.” “Why do you ponies always build towns near dangerous forests?” Toph asked. “I have no idea,” Rarity admitted. “I do know that life was good. Pinkie and I were friends, even. I accepted what she said without letting it get in the way of our companionship. But then… One day she saw something she wasn’t supposed to see.” Sunset leaned in. “What?” “I don’t know. She saw what she called ‘the truth of the world’. It was apparently terrifying and angering. She told me, that day, that we were going to find a way to change the truth. After that day she never told me anything else about what she’d seen, no matter how much I asked. She just told me that she’d become aware of several interesting magical artifacts, and would appreciate it if I could help her find them.” “The question is why she did that, though…” Sunset said. “I do not know, to this day, what her use for them was. All I know was that we adventured, collected then, and she put them all together in some kind of Mechanism. She would never tell me what the Mechanism was for, but I trusted her. This was a mistake. Our friendship ended the day she said she needed a recently deceased pony. I destroyed the Mechanism in a fit of rage and she vanished the day after that.” “So, she’s probably building something to change the ‘truth of the world’,” Toph said. “Uh… Yeah I got nothing. What does that mean?” Sunset furrowed her brow. “I don’t know. Only Armonia knows the truth of the world…” “Hey, why don’t you ask her? She’s like, the guardian spirit of this world, right?” “I don’t know how to contact the Goddess. I’d have to speak to the Queen, and I’m not sure even she knows.” “Well, guess where we’re going next then?” Toph said. “The palace! Well, after I talk with mysterious criminal pony.” “It should not be long,” Rarity said. “I will perform the teleport now if you don’t mind.” Toph shrugged. Sunset fixed Rarity with a steeled look. “If you don’t bring her back, I can and will bring the entire might of Lai’s army crashing down on you.” “I understand.” With a flash of light, Toph and Rarity were somewhere else, underground. The only other pony there was a pink pony with arcs coming out of her side. “Ah, you’re that Starlight that’s the Arcei!” Toph said, pointing. “I’ve heard about you!” “Most of that is all wrong,” Starlight said. “I’m also going by Starcei now, since the dimensions don’t appear to be going away.” “Fair enough,” Toph said, tapping her foot on the ground. “We’re just under the bar, aren’t we?” “Yes,” Starcei said. “All we need is for Sunset not to be here. She would likely kill me on sight.” “Why do the ponies hate you guys so much, anyway?” “An Arcei can only be created through the destruction of a holy Rune. Naturally, the destruction of those Runes is frowned upon. While most younger Arcei would probably get a pass, I’m the inventor, so I have a death sentence twenty times over.” “Harsh.” “Not really. Thousands did die from what I did.” “…Should I be concerned?” “Not at the moment. I just want something from you. Feel free to refuse.” “What?” “I want you to help the Arcei,” Starcei said. “Everypony hates them. Tell them they can leave this world. They at least need the opportunity.” “…Sure,” Toph said. “No problem with that.” “Good. Rarity will take you back now. I won’t hold it against you if you fail to save them all. I just wanted you to be thinking about it.” “Can I tell Sunset about this, or…?” “That is up to you. You can tell her I talked to you, or not. I’ll be gone by the time she can react.” She nodded to Rarity. “Take her back.” Toph and Rarity were back in the bar. Sunset blinked. “That was fast.” “It was a quick talk,” Toph said. “Who with?” “Oh, you know, public enemy number one. Starlight the Arcei.” Sunset’s eyes twitched. “…She’s gone already, isn’t she.” “Yep.” Toph tapped her foot on the ground and detected no Starcei at all. “She’s gone.” Sunset glared at Rarity. “I could question you about this.” “And I couldn’t tell you anything.” “Fine.” Sunset walked towards the door. “Come on Toph, we’re leaving. The Palace calls us.” Toph shrugged. “Right behind you, steamy.” ~~~ “So, your parents exhibited a full life-long devotion,” Twilight the unicorn commented. “Describe to me what that was like.” “That’s… Kinda their business, don’t you think?” Twilight the alicorn responded. The unicorn shrugged. “I’m just trying to get a read on you. I think I’m forming a picture of your hidden preferences, but I need to be sure since you’re such an unusual case.” Twilight took a big breath. “Okay. I can best describe their relationship as one where my mom dragged dad everywhere and dad kept her from blowing everything up.” “…Interesting description.” “Were your parents similar?” “Well, I guess? They were only together for a total of about two years during my childhood, and that was spread out over two different stretches of time.” “I want to tell you I’m sorry, but I have a feeling you’d just consider that ‘normal’.” “Yep!” Twilight shook her head. “Okay, next.” “Okay, so, when you think of a-“ Nova and Starbeat burst into the library at the same time. Twilight turned to look at the two of them, able to identify Nova by the lack of goggles. “…What’s wrong?” “This entire world has a ‘curse’ of some sort on it!” Nova said. “Oh no,” the unicorn said. “She got to you? I thought you were different!” “You can shut up, shipper!” Starbeat shouted. Nova nudged her. “Not cool.” Starbeat took a breath and swallowed. “Sorry, Twilight. But it’s true.” Twilight looked at Nova. “What kind of curse?” Nova shook her head. “It’s a confusing one, but it’s something that affects everypony here. Romance is a driving force in this world because something forces it on them. A force that pushes ponies in situations to click and feel a deep, powerful connection all the time.” Twilight nodded. “I mean, that makes sense, but how can you be sure?” Nova pointed at Starbeat. “Starbeat here, er… showed a display of affection seconds after explaining the problem to me, even though she clearly didn’t really want to. Apparently the force latched onto her elation of being believed for the first time in forever and made a click. Which I’m pretty sure is still happening given the way she keeps glancing at me.” “I’m sorry!” Starbeat yelled, covering her eyes. “I can’t stop staring…” The unicorn furrowed her brow. “This pairing could work, actually… Just need to get you past the conspiracy stage, and since you’re of the same gender there’s no danger of inbreeding…” Twilight stuck her tongue out in disgust. “Are you… Are you really going there now? Seriously?” “Er, yeah?” Twilight turned to Nova and Starbeat. “I think you two are right. This just isn’t natural. Is there anything we can do?” “Already talked about that,” Nova said. “We don’t think so. And I don’t think these ponies want us to anyway. I just promised to take Starbeat out of here. We need to find the others before something else happens.” The unicorn blinked. “…So… You’re taking Star..beat off our hooves? Good! She’s been nothing but a nuisance!” Starbeat looked crestfallen. Twilight shook her head in shame at her counterpart. “I… I tried to be accepting of you, to be more understanding, to think that maybe I’ve been a hypocrite all this time, but… I can’t do that anymore. Twilight Sparkle, you’re so focused on romance that you’re forgetting there’s other things. You just called a pony a nuisance in order to hurt them! That’s not right!” “But it’s the truth,” the unicorn responded. Twilight shook her head. “…I really do feel sorry for you. But you appear to enjoy where you are. We’re going to leave and not come back. You won’t have to deal with us challenging your beliefs ever again.” Twilight the unicorn looked mad. “But I didn’t even get to try anything out on you!” “If that’s why you’re upset…” Nova didn’t finish the question. “Come on, Twilight, let’s find the others.” They left the library, slamming the door behind them. Unicorn Twilight never came out after them. “There’s Pinkie,” Nova said, pointing at a pink blob on the side of the road. “…She doesn’t look good.” Pinkie shot right up to Nova. “I’ve seen things, Nova. Terrible, terrible, disturbing things.” Her eye twitched. “…At least your mane isn’t flat, so…” Pinkie nodded vigorously. “Yep. Silver lining. Heheh…” She shook her head. “Can we go yet? The universe wants ponies to love me. It’s unnerving.” Fluttershy landed next to Pinkie, not even trying to hide the fact that she’d been crying heavily. “I… Yes, I need to go as well.” “We all do,” Nova said, shaking her head. The four of them walked toward the diner just as Rarity and Thunder Lane walked out. Rarity waved to them. “Ah, girls! I want you to meet Thunder Lane, simply the most dashing of stallions and-“ she saw the depressed, angry, sad, and crazy faces of her friends. “…What in Celestia’s name happened to all of you!?” Pinkie grabbed her head. “I DON’T KNOW! Is this a comedy? A social commentary? A rant? A parody? Am I supposed to be serious or not? Is there even a right answer!?” She rammed her head into the ground again and let out a muffled scream. Rarity turned to Twilight. “Twilight…” Twilight sighed. “You aren’t going to like this Rarity. This universe is ‘cursed’ by a ‘romance’ plague of some kind. It forces relationships and romantic connections to happen extremely often and without restraint.” Twilight glanced at her friends. “I think we all experienced something less than… pleasant because of that.” Rarity turned to Thunder Lane. “Well… Girls, I assure you that Thunder Lane is not subject to such a curse-“ Twilight turned to Thunder Lane. “Thunder Lane, how long do you intend to stay with Rarity?” “As long as both of us want. What kind of question is that?” Twilight sighed. “Let me guess. You’d no longer want it next time you felt a click?” “Naturally.” Rarity stared at him aghast. “…What’s the problem Rarity? That’s romance 101! The-“ Rarity slapped him. He was apparently so startled by this he passed out. “Why… Does life… Have to be so cruel…” Rarity spat, trying to hold back her tears. “I just wanted to be loved, Twilight! Why couldn’t I just enjoy that! Why?” Twilight hugged her close. “Because it wasn’t real. Not like the friendship that we all share.” Nova turned to Starbeat. “...Is it?” Starbeat lit her horn, scanning for the force. “…There’s more of the force around you than there is normally, but… Nowhere near as much as when there’s a click. I don’t think you’re being forced into your companionship.” “Don’t think…” Rarity said, pulling back from the hug. “This… I think I understand why Pinkie didn’t know what to think of this. She’s… always seen a bit more than we have. She’s probably asking questions a lot deeper than we are.” Pinkie rolled over and gasped. “Word of advice, don’t go that deep into the thinking pool. Bad things lurk there.” Twilight chuckled. “I... I’m not sure what to make of this whole adventure. I’m not sure what to make of romance anymore, or even friendship. But I do know one thing. We do not want to be like these ponies here. Perhaps we have a lesser curse in our world, one of Friendship. We should be aware that might be the case. There should be other things important to use besides friendship. It’s not all there is.” Everypony looked at each other like they weren’t quite ready to believe it, but they realized that not being ready to believe it was a possible sign of it being true. Rarity sighed. “Just… Just take us home Twilight. I have a date with a drama couch and several gallons of ice cream.” “I need to organize a normal town-wide party,” Pinkie added. “I need to go talk to Rainbow Dash…” Fluttershy commented. Twilight smiled sadly. “Nova?” “Going to teach Starbeat here some things. You?” “I… I’m going to reread all those letters I sent to Celestia on friendship. Probably talk to her about this as well.” She pulled out the dimensional device and dialed Equestria. “…I hope the ponies here can… I don’t know, live well? I... I just feel sorry for this place.” “It’s like someone made a wish, and it went horribly wrong,” Rarity observed. “Yeah. It does look a lot like that. Suspiciously like that…” Pinkie muttered. The six ponies left through the portal, leaving the world obsessed with romance behind for as long as they could manage. A certain unicorn named Twilight Sparkle sat in her library, looking at all her notes. For the slightest of moments, she wondered if Starbeat had been right. That if maybe something was wrong with their universe. …Nah, that’d be silly.