The Pinkie Collective

by DIO Brando


Meeting Room 3205 - Designation: Pepto Bismol

Picture a color in your head. Yes, picture it. Picture it long, and hard. Picture it so hard, you start to see the color in your room when it might not even be there. Picture it so hard that this text becomes that color. Picture it so hard that your very skin turns that color. Now, when you have pictured this color so hard that everything you see has become this color,

Forget it exists and replace it with pink.

Oh, your color was pink? Well, make it pinker.

That is the room you're standing in. The room you're looking around, but you don't exist, you're just a reader.

Now that we have that picture in mind, imagine the United Nations, but pinker. Imagine chairs all over the place, but some are for equines, some are for humanoids, some are for blobs. Some spots don't have chairs. Imagine the room is circular, with a large cupcake dome on the top. Imagine there are doors corresponding to each sitting/standing spot at the large, circular desk in the middle. Now, imagine several variations of Pinkie Pie walk out of these, all sitting in their seats with various briefcases filled with party supplies, important-looking paper, and lots of fuzzy pens.

Then, when you thought it was all of them, one floated from the roof. All of the Pinkie's stood, saluting to the PIC, that is, the Pinkie In Charge.

The Pinkie In Charge, the one you know, from the show My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, walks up to a podium, standing on her hinds and raising her hooves.

"You may be seated, sitting Pinkies, you may put your hands down, standing Pinkies, and Pinkie Blob can remain a Pinkie Blob," Pinkie In Charge said in a cold, authoritative tone. Pinkie Blob smiled as Pinkie In Charge sorted her papers. "Now, we have lots of business to discuss today, a lot. So, I'd like to suspend the rules in order to bypass reading the minutes for today. All those in favor say 'aye'."

All of the Pinkies replied as so.

"Good. Now, our first matter of business concerns something that was left on the table last meeting." Pinkie In Charge picked up a rubber chicken. "I know it wasn't me, the one responsible will be punished with no cupcakes for that whole episode, fan animation, FiMfiction, or likewise applicable storyline. All of those in favor raise your right hoof, hand or in the case of Pinkie Blob, please tilt to the right side."

Several Pinkies raised their hands and hooves, Blob Pinkie leaning to the right side.

"All who oppose show a like sign."

Several other Pinkies did so.

"That was 3/4ths majority, the vote passes. Now, until we find the culprit, we shall move on to our next matter of business," She shuffled through some papers. "It was discussed last meeting, the termination of the pinkie written by 'Sergeant Sprinkles', who killed our beloved Rainbow Dash in a cupcaking 'accident'. Before this is voted on, a word in the defense of Cupcakes Pinkamena."

Cupcakes Pinkamena shook, smiling with a worried expression.

"L-look I was just makin' everypony happy! You gotta be happy, you gotta have cupcakes to be happy! Cupcakes! That's what Mr. Potato Sack said, cupcakes make ponies happy! Happy, happy!" Cupcakes Pinkamena said in a crazed tone. "Besides, I'm not as bad as Sweet Apple Massacre Big Mac!"

"Cupcakes Pinkamena!" Pinkie 33 shouted with a scolding tone. "The mention of that fanfiction was banned on the 232nd meeting in room 115!"

There was much chatter as Pinkie in Charge raised a gavel.

"Order! Order!" She said, sighing. "Would anyone like to speak in defense of Cupcakes Pinkamena?" Pinkie in Charge looked around, seeing a few hands and hooves. She pointed at a certain Pinkamena with glasses on and a nice suit. "Yes, Lawyer Pinkamena?"

Lawyer Pinkamena stood, clearing her throat as she prepared her papers.

"On behalf of the defense of Cupcakes Pinkamena, as in last meeting, I bring up the alternative reality acceptance clause proposed six hundred and forty-seven meetings ago in room 3325. We agreed that some realities are perhaps harsher than others, but, by laws of time, should be maintained regardless. Recommended penalty was instead cessation of Cupcakes Pinkamena's presence in the meeting." Lawyer Pinkamena proposed, causing lots of controversial chatter to arise. Pinkie in charge tapped her gavel again several times until the other Pinkies got quiet.

"Would anyone like to add to this defense?" Pinkie In Charge asked, pointing at Fallout Pinkie.

"Well, you know I was with the Ministry of Morale before I was killed off by a megaspell," Fallout Pinkie said, "but concerning our laws and ethics versus the laws and ethics of other realities can be tough. So, though it may be odd for me to say, I don't believe we should inflict any punishment on Cupcakes Pinkamena. After all, she hasn't dealt any harm to other realities."

There was a bit of chatter that naturally died down.

"Anypony else?" Pinkie In Charge asked. No one said anything. "Alright, does anyone oppose the following proposals?" She pointed at Blob Pinkie.

"Blob." Blob Pinkie said. "Blob blob blob, bloblob. . .blob."

There was a sudden gasp and lots of chatter about the room before Pinkie In Charge tapped her gavel more loudly to silence them.

"That is a compelling argument, blob Pinkie, but we must respect the opinions of others. And remember, we do not use profanity in the meeting rooms." Pinkie In Charge said, sighing. "Are there any other proposals?"

No one responded.

"Right, then we shall vote, first over preferred punishment, then over whether or not to punish." Pinkie in Charge said. "All in favor of banishment from reality, raise your right hand, hoof, or tilt to the right side. All who oppose, show a like sign."

More were in favor.

"Let the record show that the Pinkies vote in favor of Cessation of Meeting Participation over Reality Banishment." Pinkie in Charge said. "Now, all those who wish that Pinkamena should be punished, say aye."

Several did, and several did not. Pinkie In Charge was faced with a challenging situation. One Pinkie stood up.

"I move to a division of the assembly," Pinkie 522 said. Pinkie In Charge nodded.

"The vote will be decided by a secret ballot next meeting." Pinkie In Charge said, tapping the gavel twice. "Now our next method of business is—"

She stopped.

It looks like you've been spotted.

But don't worry, you're safe from that ocean of pink.

"Who are you?" Pinkie In Charge asks, all of the Pinkies looking at you. You can't speak. Well, you can in the comments section, but you can't speak to them directly, so that doesn't count. What are you going to do? Well, they can't touch you, can they?

"Don't hurt them. They are just watching." A mysterious Pinkie said. The other Pinkies looked at this strange one, this one who wore Trixie's hat and Cutiemark.

"The legends were true. . ." Pinkie 293 said.

"She exists?" scientist Pinkie asked, unable to believe what she was seeing.

"Blob?!" Pinkie Blob Blobbed.

"Pinkamena Lulamoon. . ." Pinkie In Charge said, narrowing her eyes. "You were banished from these quarters millenia ago, how dare you cross into our humble meeting?"

"I came here just to see what my old pals were up to!" She sat down, happily looking at the other Pinkie pies. "Tell me, is it a crime to be curious of you guys?"

"Blob blob. . ." Pinkie Blob Blobbed, as if to notice a fair point.

"Not now Pinkie Blob," Pinkie In Charge said, pointing the gavel at Pinkamena Lulamoon. "You violated the law of reality crossing! That is a crime, and coming back is a crime! Tell me why you're here, and why this person is here!" She pointed at the reader.

"Can't you just lighten up a small bit about it? I mean, it's not thatbad, is it?" Pinkamena Lulamoon retorted, "I mean, being trapped in a box and alone for eons really would lighten you as much as I did! Hey, do you want to try it?"

She seemed to be avoiding the question of the reader.

"Madam Chairpony, I recommend we expunge her immediately!" Lawyer Pinkamena said suddenly.

"No, I can hear the narrator," Pinkie In Charge said, her eyes still narrow. "You broke one of the only rules we have, but now you're avoiding the question. Why is that reader present?"

"So he can watch with me! He/she/it/salad bar owner is a great friend of mine!" She winked so hard, that it spun her eyeball around her socket.

Pinkie In Charge gasped.

"How long have you been watching?"

"Who, me, or the other guy?" She summoned a grape juice, sucking out the exterior of the carton, and leaving floating juice in the air. She sat back in the nonexistant chair, drinking the nonexistant box while she nonexistantly opened a nonexistant chocolate box, eating nonexistant chocolates with an extra side of nonexistant.

"She's bending reality again! We need a reality anchor!" Scientist Pinkie said with a tone of urgency.

"Reality anchors were banned in the 326th meeting!" Pinkie 183 said.

"But we can suspend the rules for sake of urgency!" Lawyer Pinkamena said.

"ORDER ORDER!" Pinkie In Charge shouted as the chatter arose. She smacked her gavel several times. "Tell me why you're really here, Lulamoon! You surely have other things to do!"

"I don't, I really don't, I just found out about this little meeting of yours and decided, 'Hey, why not meet old friends who want me gone?' and that there is why I'm really here!" She blew on a bubble pipe.

"We're not friends, Lulamoon, you are considered an enemy and a threat to the council. You know what you did, you have some nerve coming back." Pinkie In Charge said harshly. "You're not going to return to this council, you won't have power over our realities, never again after the events of meeting 112!"

"Ah, fond memories of that meeting. . .I remember it like it was yesterday!" Pinkamena Lulamoon said. She thought for a moment. "Was it yesterday? Or was it Thursday."

She tapper her chin, trying to come up with a date.

"Enough!" Pinkie In Charge shouted. "I hereby banish you by use of Pinkie Reality Anchor Mark VII's!"

She turned to the reader.

"You as well."

The pinkness was finally fading, but you knew the journey wasn't over.

It was only beginning.