The song reached it's end as I struck a pose and let the crowd applaud heavily and I set down to talk to the dragon over the noise. "Good work, man, that was something I wouldn't have been able to do back home!" We shook, hoof and claw, and walked offstage to a lot of ponies that were remarking on how well of a performance I made, a few even offering me drinks as I came by them. I was way out of my comfort boundaries as I wasn't the kind of person that would be surrounded by heralding fans, at all.
Tyrone helped clear the way as the dragon wiped some sweat off his forehead, "I don't know what came over me, first I thought wearing the hat I got for my birthday tonight would give me luck with Rarity. Then I found this suit while backstage and that song started playing, it just felt right."
"It fits the part," I remembered that the blue fedora was still on my head and decided to do one last thing before I left the sight of the crowd held back by Tyrone. Standing up, I began spinning in place again and grabbed the hat off my head. Timing the spin so that I was facing the crowd, I let the hat fly out, making some of them try and jump for it and one managed to get it and looked over at me with shock. Giving a wink and a smirk I again set down and continued walking with the baby dragon. "If you want to learn something about tonight, its that you always give back what you receive."
We reached a break area and started chatting, mostly over the fact that both of us were not exactly performers, but we rocked the stage. The baby dragon introduced himself as Spike and we both got a mug of root beer to toast our performance and downed the sweet drink. For some reason as the fizzy soda went down my throat I began thinking that it was similar to actual beer, but that couldn't have been right, I mean the small dragon downed it like a champion and he looked happy to have drunk it.
"If only Twilight could've seen that, but 'Oh, no, Spike, I can't. I have to finish this teleporter as soon as possible, I don't have time for parties.'" My drink come out in a fine mist of shock as I barely missed hitting anypony with it.
"Teleporter?!" I screamed, before trying to regain composure. "I mean, a teleporter? What is this Twilight going to do with a teleporter?"
Spike motioned me to get closer and whispered across the table, "It's for the Princess, she's got a monster held up in her castle and instead of trying to destroy it, she wants to send it back to its home. Twilight called it a 'human'." I tried to act surprised, it wasn't very difficult as the day kept turning up more and more luck for me in finding out where every one of my friends were, getting free food and drinks even if we were unknown, and meeting the nicest ponies a guy would ever meet.
Except Rainbow Dash, she's mostly rude.
Spike's eyes looked behind me and he gave an audible gasp, "She's here!"
"Who, Twilight?" I turned and saw Rarity walking up to us and going over my suit. She picked me up over her head, spun me slowly with her magic, stopped at one point to inspect something.
"Quite the performance that you both had up there," Rarity flicked off a button and looked on the inside of the suit as I hung upside-down and with a satisfied nod, she let me down again to regain my sense of balance again. "You especially Spike, that suit and hat look that you had was simply daring and darling at the same time."
Spike blushed and pushed his fedora over his eyes, "It wasn't anything special," he lied. I had to admire the kid that had a crush on a mare. My ears perked up as a duo of ponies began singing 'Behind Blue Eyes' by The Who-ves, looking over it was a aquamarine unicorn with a lyre on her flank and a creme colored pony with 3 wrapped candies on her flank, both singing a song about not knowing what its like to be the bad mare.
"Who's the couple on stage?" I asked, motioning to the two on stage, the aquamarine pony now standing up like I was and getting scolded at by the creme pony as they continued on.
"Bon Bon and Lyra," Rarity answered, giving a sigh and then turning over to me. "After your little routine on your rear hooves, Lyra's gotten antsy again. Still hanging on to the belief of humans, poor dear." Another spray of shock as I had to shoot it up in the air to not make a direct hit on anypony. I looked over at Spike, "I thought you told me that Twilight has a-" Spike shoved a apple in my mouth before I could continue.
"A special mission about the mythology of humans for Celestia." Spike finished, giving Rarity a nervous grin. Rarity looked over at me as I angrily bit down on the apple at the defiance the dragon had done against me.
"Well, Spike, do tell Twilight that she needs to stop doing her research and come out to the party. The fact that Pinkie was able to get permissions for an open event throughout the town is remarkable on its own, but the fact that it is such a grand event, it is the most intense case scenario for my fabric." Rarity gave a tug at my suit, still hanging strong and with no discoloration. She then gave me a peck on the cheek which made my wings shoot open and Spike to get jealous. "One for the favor," she then leaned to Spike and kissed him in the forehead, making him melt in his seat, "and one for the performance. Good night to you both."
"Good night." Spike and I dreamily cooed as we watch her trot away and into the crowds. "She's such a charmer," Spike sighed, his arm leaned on the table with his head in his hand. I sat back down and forced my wings shut with difficulty, I guess the muscles in the wings were shocked and were hard to move because of it.
"Quick, that was amazing!" Limonade latched onto my back, giving me a hug. "You never told me you could dance." I reached up to Limonade's neck and returned the hug, looking at her eyes.
"I didn't give you a chance to see," We kissed then and there, the party, ponies, and earth fading away as we finished and her eyes continued to lovingly look at me.
"Youuu've got talent, hic!" a plum coat and mulberry maned pony approached the table Spike and I were sitting and slammed herself into it, leaning heavily on a bottle she managed to carry over. "I wanted to sing, but, psssshhh, I forgot to say wordssss. That happens. I'm Drunk, and I'm Berry Punch. No... hang on... yeah, that order..."
"This place has everything!" I excitedly burst out laughing, watching Berry Punch try and catch herself from falling over. "Drunks, games, a bit of insanity, it's Earth with talking ponies!" Berry Punch started laughing with me, ignoring the fact I had made it sound like I was from a completely different planet and nudged the bottle towards me.
"I dare you to chug it," she smirked.
Turning the bottle to see if it had a label, I saw it was a bottle of 'High Concentrate Apple Cider'. It was unopened and looked tempting enough an offer that I contemplated taking up the offer of the pony. Spike gave me an excited look as he leaned on his two arms and rested his head on them like Berry Punch. "This is going to be good."
Limonade stopped me from opening the bottle, sensing something was up. "I don't think it's a good idea to drink that Quick."
"Ha!" I flicked the top off the bottle and saw little bubbles flow slowly from the top, "It's just Apple Cider, its not going to kill me to chug it down!" Without giving Limonade a chance to answer back, I pulled the bottle back and began drinking down the drink, letting the apple flavor shoot down my throat and practically inhaling the bottle. A few passerby's gasped in shock as Berry Punch and Spike started chanting 'Go! Go! Go!' and watched as I pulled the bottle away and put it on the table, flexing my arms and letting out a roar of manliness. It was college drinking all over again, but with cider!
Oh if only I realized how right I was at that time. Because I don't remember ANYTHING beyond that point, my head shut off and I woke up... well, I'll get to that. However, Linda knew exactly what happened afterwards...
***
Quick Fix gave an audible gasp of fear as he started falling sideways off his chair, "The earth is tilting! EARTHQUAKE!" Quick Fix hit the ground and Limonade helped him get back upright.
"Quick! Are you okay?!" Limonade looked at Quick Fix, whose eyes blinked out of synch with each other before he burst out laughing.
"I get it! Cider equals liquor! I'm hammered!" Quick Fix lifted his arms up and fell on his back, prompting Limonade to lift him up again and try to move him back in the chair. "B- Berr- Beatrice! That's your name isn't it?" Quick Fix pointed at Berry Punch who was already in her own giggling fit, "You tricked meeeee. And I love it." He went to get up again and managed to stand up and get on his rear hooves. "Give us a hug."
Berry Punch got up as well and both of them went to hug, and both missed their targets as they both faceplanted into the dirt.
"Oh great," Rainbow Dash approached the now rolling duo on the ground trying to find out how to stand up again. "He drunk from Applejack's private stash of Cider didn't he?!"
"Thasss MY private stash, missy! And he deserved it, 'cause I love him." Berry Punch argued from the ground now trying to stand on her head to get up.
"Awwww, I love you too, silly pony! Hugs all around!" Quick Fix responded, doing a somersault on the ground and finding himself in a sitting position with a confused expression.
"That's just great," Rainbow Dash pulled Limonade aside so the drunk pegasus and pony couldn't hear, "You're going to need to get him out of here, its bad enough when Berry Punch is on the cider, but if he's already this out of it so soon..."
The lights of the stage and lamps went out, causing multiple easily panicked ponies to scream and yell out that the world was ending. Quick Fix started crying when he heard this, "Game Over, Man! Game Over!"
"Ladies and Gentlecolts, returning to your town from her Equestrian tour, a one night performance of The Great and Powerful Trixie!" The lights returned, now focused on a carriage that began to unfold to reveal a stage. Fanfare began to play and fireworks lit from the carriage as a cloud of smoke appeared on stage and from it, a blue pony wearing a purple cape and hat adorned with stars. A cocky smile on her face as the smoke faded and left sparkling dust around her.
"Not her again!" Rainbow Dash exasperatedly screamed. "Why is she back?!"
The crowds already began to boo her as she lifted her hat and swept it in a small bow to reveal a unicorn horn. Placing the hat back on her head, two unicorn colts, one opal and rather fat, and the other yellow and skinny ran up onto the stage and began bowing down at Trixie.
"Oh, Great and Powerful Trixie! What grand exploits have you done when you left us?" The opal one with the scissors on his flank cried out, not quiet getting past the prepubescent stage.
"We thought we'd never see you again!" The yellow one with a snail on his flank also cried out, sounding like he was more on the dimmer side, if you know what I mean.
"Who's Bulk and Skull on stage with Ms. Smarmy?" Quick Fix asked as he tried to move closer to the front of the stage against the restraining pull of Limonade.
"Good guess, but you're not even close," Rainbow Dash kept close to Quick Fix, unsure of what he was doing going towards the unicorn that fled from Ponyville after being revealed as a fake. "The one with the scissors on his flank is Snips, the one with the snail on his flank is called, well, Snails." Rainbow Dash finally pointed out to the now reveling traveling magician, "And that, is Trixie."
Finally, Quick Fix reached the front and tried to pull himself up on the stage, with Limonade still pulling at his tail now to stop him. "What are you even doing?" Limonade said through her teeth. "Don't get on that stage!" Quick Fix turned to face Limonade, his eyes slightly skewed before he blinked and they corrected themselves.
"That...fffffffffff, mare. That's the word. She needssss to learn some manners about crashing a good party." He drunkenly spoke aloud, catching the ear of Trixie who snapped her attention on the orange-red pegasus.
"Party? What party? I thought this was the welcoming of The Great and Powerful Trixie!" The pegasus began to get lifted in the air and thrown onto the stage in an unwelcoming grace. "If this was a true party, then this was truly a sad excuse of an attempt. I've gone to countless galas, towns, and even forests that have done better parties than this!"
From the back, Pinkie gave a howl of rage and charged through the crowd and got to the front with Limonade and Rainbow Dash, "You're calling MY party a sad excuse?!" She breathed heavily for a moment before cheerily spoke again, "Parties aren't excuses, you silly unicorn!"
Quick Fix had managed to get himself back up and wrap an arm around Trixie, leaning on her, "Yeah, Trident, get your, hic, grammar right."
"Get your filthy hoof off of the Great and Powerful Trixie this instant!" Trixie shoved Quick Fix off of her and watched him nearly fall off the stage before regaining his balance and butt his head into hers, giving out his breath of cider.
"You're no fun," Quick Fix mumbled, making Trixie gag as she smelled the heavy cider. "We're here to have fun, and you RUINED IT."
"Quick! Get down from the stage, she's not worth it!" Limonade cried out, making him turn and put a hoof to his lips and let out a long "Shhhhhhhhhh."
"Big kids are talking baby, I'll be there after I school this lady." Quick Fix turned back to Trixie who now had rope trying to magically wrap him up, after multiple drunken steps, Quick Fix managed to step on the rope and start chewing on it before spitting it out. "That's not liquorice..."
"You two," Trixie pointed at the colts who gave a sigh of affection about being noticed, "get this pegasus off of my stage so I can do my show!"
"Wait!" Quick Fix yelled out, making the colts stop in place, "I've got gypsy magic too, I can see the future." He gave a burp and Trixie scoffed out in disbelief.
"You are no unicorn! How can you even have an ounce of magical talent when you can barely keep yourself from standing up right!" Trixie then gave a small shove at Quick Fix who began wobbling side to side, "This foal is nothing more than a drunk with no ability and is blatant about his lies!"
"Sound familiar?" Dash called from the front, making Trixie get even more upset and frustrated.
"How dare you?! Weren't you the one that I, the Great and Powerful Trixie, made a mockery out of you and your so called talent?!" Now Applejack, Fluttershy, and Rarity were in the presence of the front row, Trixie's eyes squinted in loathing. "So you're all here, did you come back to be embarrassed and shown up by my expert ability again?"
"Actually, we wanted to see Quick Fix read the future, and perhaps show off that he's a better pony than you with that talent." Rarity snapped at Trixie, making Trixie back away and seeing the rest of the crowd begin a chant.
"Quick Fix, Quick Fix, Quick Fix!"
Trixie turned to the stumbling pegasus who grinned and put a hoof to his head, "Ah'm gonna start with you, Greet and Potent Tree." Trixie glowered at the pegasus, but put on her own cocky grin in response.
"Go ahead, show us all, Cider Boy!" Trixie watched as Quick Fix moved around her, his eyes dancing either by the drink, or perhaps something more.
No, it was defiantly the drink.
"A trip." He finally said, causing Trixie to laugh.
"The Great and Powerful Trixie is a traveling magician, you have to do better than that to prove yourself to Trixie!" Quick Fix motioned Trixie to come near the front of the stage and pointed out to the stars, his voice losing the drunken tone.
"It will be a hard trip, it will test your body as well as your mind. However, once you finish it, it will make many ponies happy and remember you in a different light." Trixie turned over to Quick Fix, seemingly impressed.
"Tell Trixie more about this trip, when? How? Why?" Trixie sounded at ease with the pegasus as he took a deep breath and closed his eyes.
His voice went back to the drunken state as he tripped Trixie off the stage and into the audience, laughing uproariously. "It's going to be in the 'fall'! Courtesy One-Way! Because I can! HA! HA! HA! HA!" Quick Fix also fell from the stage and hit the ground, still laughing. "I also took a trip! HA! The joke has been doubled!" The audience had begun laughing as Trixie went to attack the fallen pegasus and was cut off by Rainbow Dash.
"Back off, Trixie!" Dash yelled at Trixie, who grunted in frustration. "You mess with him, then you mess with me!" Both egos touched heads and soon found their lips touching as Quick Fix pushed the two together.
"Now kiss," he cried out, getting punched in the face by both ponies and falling over unconscious, before either of them could continue to beat him, Limonade shot out and grabbed Quick Fix.
"I think we're done for tonight, thanks for the party, bye!" Limonade shot away with Quick Fix, into Sugarcube Corner and into Pinkie's room, throwing him onto the bed. She locked the door as well to make sure that any certain unicorns that were mad wouldn't be able to enter without a little bit of difficulty. "Damn it, Quentin." Limonade gasped as she covered her mouth, when she tried to swear other times it changed into another word, that had to have been her imagination. "Damn it." In her shock, she started swearing up a storm at Quentin and eventually stopped.
"Quentin, what are we going to do?" Limonade sat on the bed with the silent pony and put a hoof through her hair. "I mean with this whole situation, the thing with Discord, with Richard, and now this? Do you even have a plan?" She sat quietly in the room as the party continued outside until a knock came at the door.
"You in there, Limonade?" Pinkie Pie asked from behind the door, prompting Limonade to unlock the door and open it, revealing the five friends as they entered and looked over the now drooling Quick Fix. "And I thought you were the heavy drinker," Pinkie remarked, remembering seeing Limonade yesterday night before she brought her to Sugarcube Corner.
"Dash told me that he downed a whole bottle of our 'High Concentrate Apple Cider'," Applejack said with impressiveness. "Knowing that, and what he did to Trixie on stage, I'm impressed he could speak, let alone even move and trick Trixie."
"He may be annoying," Dash said, leaning against the door frame and moving her hair out of her eyes. "But any pony that can fool Trixie and get away with it is alright by me."
"Oh, I hope he'll be alright," Fluttershy mumbled as she approached Quick Fix and helped move him to a more comfortable position on the bed, removed the suit, and put a blanket over him.
"Fluttershy, may I see that suit?" Rarity asked, Fluttershy cautiously handing the blue suit to the seamstress. She looked over the suit, and after some time, she smiled and pulled out the purse of money that was in the front pocket and put some bits in it before putting the bag back in the suit. "Limonade, if you can tell this young stallion that I paid him 40 bits for testing the fabric, I would be most appreciative."
"But, that's the amount that Quick paid for the suit," Limonade answered in shock, seeing Rarity chuckle.
"It may be the same amount of bits as the cost of said suit, but I can assure you, this isn't refunding him at all." Rarity carefully folded the suit and placed it on the edge of the bed. "You are lucky to have somepony as diverse as he is, Limonade. Most stallions are all about machismo, or being a gentleman, or not even caring, but he is a surprise every time you look at him."
The girls finished by saying good night to Pinkie and Limonade and leaving Sugarcube Corner. Pinkie and Limonade looked over at the bed and both of them sighed.
"There wouldn't happen to be a spare bed or couch that we could use?"
***
I awoke in a room, it was dark and I had a bad headache. The suit I had been wearing was removed and set at the end of the bed I had been placed in. Setting my head back down on the pillow I tried to recall anything that happened between me putting the bottle of Apple Cider to my lips and waking up here. A tap came from the window and something I believed to be a familiar unicorn as she struggled to keep herself from falling off a ladder. Forcing myself up I opened the window and continued to watch the unicorn attempt to balance herself before she noticed me and gave a 'Meep!'
"Need some help robbing a house?" I groggily joked, watching the unicorn try and not hit the house too hard and make a noise. "Or are you one of those stalker types that I have to watch out for?"
"Ha. Ha. Ha. Even when you aren't drunk you're a pain to listen to." She tried to grab at me and started falling off the ladder before I caught her and we both dangled out the window. "Don't let me fall!" Something about what she said sounded off, but it made me want to pull her up and into the room. After trying to shake off a bit more pain throbbing in my head I watched her pull out a box and start laughing. "You foal! Now taste the wrath of The Great and Powerful Trixie!"
She opened the box and threw out blue flowers that whacked me in the face, not wanting to be attacked with flowers, I managed to take a hoof full that hit me and threw them back at her, to which she screamed "Don't you dare!" The flowers hit her and she gasped in shock. "Do you realize what you have just done?!"
My body began to tingle and in a 'Foomp!' I found myself covered in fluffy fur and my scream sounded like it had inhaled helium. "What did you do to me?!" I squeaked.
"I threw Poison Joke on you, I wanted you to wake up and be embarrassed publicly like you did to me!" Trixie screamed, her hooves trying to cover her mouth. "I can't lie! This is only slightly inconvenient compared to my incident with Twilight Sparkle against the Ursa Minor! WHY CAN'T I STOP?!"
The door opened, showing a just awoken Limonade, which became an incredibly shocked Limonade when she looked at both me and Trixie. "Quick?!"
"Hi, Limonade," I chirped, making Limonade faint in front of the door and Pinkie to poke her own head in the doorway and gasp at the fact that Limonade landed on a group of the Poison Joke, each of us looking at each other and realizing how much trouble we were all in.
***
"I feel regretful for doing this to you, only because my plan backfired!" Trixie yelled out, each of us waiting outside the salon's doors for it to open.
",ygolopa na sa elbatpecca eb ot gniog ton s'tahT" Limonade said, her effect having made not only her head turn in the wrong direction, but also made her speak backwards, so having to understand her was even more difficult.
"Wierd idea," I squealed and turned to Limonade, trying not to get stabbed by a rouge hair in my eye. "Try speaking backwards and maybe we'll understand you."
",uoy oN" Limonade said, with a sour expression on her face, at least giving me a clue that she was really unhappy.
We all looked up to see two ponies, exact copies, but just swapped in color.
"Oh my! Look here, Aloe! Customers here so early?" The pink pony with blue hair spoke, revealing a European accent as she gaped at our group.
"They all look so odd, I may know why they're here Lotus!" The blue pony with pink hair responded, with a similar accent and we all nodded and said in unison. "Poison Joke."
We were all led inside and placed in a waiting room, "Wait here, we do need to get the area prepared before we can get you all started on your bath." Aloe went into the back room, soon to be followed by Lotus.
"Maybe even more for those cracked hooves and something to melt those stresses away." Lotus went through the door as well, and each of us were left to the elevator music in the room and a bunch of magazines. Grabbing one, I decided to start reading, trying to ignore the fact that I only had a few hours of sleep because of this excursion.
"I think you're kinda cute when you're angry!" Trixie yelled, causing me to lower the magazine and pause before raising the magazine again.
"When are you going to apologize for what has happened tonight?" I squeeked, causing Trixie to look shocked at me. "Being petty about something I don't remember doing and not a single apology from your mouth."
"I feel it was unfair that you made me look bad in front of those ponies! I want you to apologize first!" She screamed, her voice sounding like it was already straining from the volume she had to keep up. I closed my eyes and gave a small prayer of patience to myself.
"I'll admit that I was drunk, stupid, and most importantly wrong to have done those things to you." I put the magazine down and took a breath before continuing, "I am very sorry for having made a fool out of myself and you last night."
"!ti devresed ehs ,kciuQ , snoitca ruoy rof reh evigrof ot deen t'nod uoY" Limonade gave an angry glance at Trixie before turning back to me. "!flesreh tuoba serac ylno dna ,taehc a ,rail evislupmoc a s'ehS"
"I can agree that we were wrong, I would never be able to say it however, only to preserve my image as a perfectionist!" Trixie yelled out, giving a cough as her throat started to dry out. Going to a water fountain and getting a small cup, I filled it and placed it in front of Trixie before sitting back down.
"So say it now, at least while you still can." I solemnly spoke. We were then interrupted by Lotus as she stepped in.
"Come with me, we have your bath ready to cure what is ailing you, and we also have the steam room warming up so when you finish you can head in to let those pores open and last night's troubles wash away." Lotus led us into a large room, a giant bucket was being stirred by Aloe and we all walked up to the edge of the bath and we all stepped inside, the warm water almost knocking me back to sleep again.
I felt my fur shrink back down and my voice start to deepen again back to its normal state, I watched as Limonade had managed to get her head rotated back in place, and Trixie, well, she still looked the same. After awhile of shampooing and soap, we all headed towards the steam room and took our seats, Limonade and myself on one end, Trixie on the other. While I and Limonade were relaxed after last night's craziness, Trixie still looked uneasy.
"Something the matter?" I said, enjoying the fact I didn't sound like Alvin anymore. Trixie continued to squirm in her seat and then looked up at me.
"I'm sorry," she quietly spoke, shocking myself and Limonade. She then gave us a death stare, "You will only hear this once, from the Great and Powerful Trixie, so be gracious I would allow such a honor."
"You spoiled little-!" Limonade went to stand up, but I put a hoof up to stop her, looking into the eyes behind her cold stare, I knew she meant it. And what better way of keeping a secret than in a steam room with no other ears except your own and theirs. I took a breath of the air in and then released it, looking as if I had smoke pouring from my nostrils.
"I do want to perform on that stage again," I said, watching Trixie open her eyes in fear before she went back to her cocky attitude and look. "I'll be in town still for a few more days, how long are you willing to wait?"
Trixie eyed me, noticing I had a cocky smile as well, practically mimicking Trixie's happy mood. "3 days," she said standing up to leave the room, but stopped at the door. "What was your name?"
I gave a small thought to a title before answering, "The Fast and Furious Quick Fix, with his assistant, the Wondrous and Caring Limonade." Trixie gave a quick laugh, and opened the door.
"Until we meet again, Fast and Furious Quick Fix."