//------------------------------//
// 18: Welcome Home 
// Story: Humans Meet Ponies 
// by TwiPON3 
//------------------------------//





Sci-Twi's Point of View




The elevator jerkily stopped at the seventh floor, probably because it had never carried three people and two alicorn princesses before. I was just glad when it did, because I was starting to get a little claustrophobic, and I could tell the others were, too.
"It seems rather small," Princess Luna commented, receiving a glare from her sister.
"What?" I asked, "Someone had to say it.
It opened on the seventh floor. Like lightning, I was the first one out.
"Claustrophobic, actually."
We made our way back to my apartment, where I smelled noodles. We all shot glances at each other.
"They're still our guests," Cadence said, opening the door, "at least until Sunday. Maybe longer if they can."
"Surprise!"
We looked at each other, then went in. None of our furniture was the same hardly, and all of our kitchen appliances had been replaced. Cadence went and looked at them, Shining took a look at the TV, and my bedroom was completely different.
"I... how... but..."
"The coffee maker actually gets hot, the microwave heats up food in less than four hours, and the oven is brand-friggin'-new!" Lemon said.
"Is this stuff ours?" Shining asked.
"I took care of the TV," Sunset said, "Don't worry: It's brand new and it's Japanese. So it's really great."
"You..."
"Of course we did, Darling. It was the least we could do after seeing the..."
"Yeah," Sugarcoat said, "Once we found out how old and crappy your stuff was, we kinda had to."
I stepped in my bedroom and squealed, probably turning every head in my apartment house.
"New worktables...? New drawers...? New... everything...?"
"'at's right, Sugarcube," Applejack said coming up behind me, "Jus' a little somethin' ta say "Thankya fer invitin' us over". After... you know," she looked toward the sitting room where my parents' remains resided, "None of us really felt like you should've had ta give up ev'rthing."
I ran back into the living room with my brother.
"We have to go, my child."
The two regal sisters left and headed back to Equestria.
"How in the name of God could you afford all of this?" I asked, prompting Sugarcoat to flash a debit card.
"That part fell on me."
"Does anyone know how Sour Sweet is?"
"I wouldn't feel too bad about it, Twilight," Lemon said, "She did... you know," she awkwardly stopped herself from saying it, but everyone knew it, "Point being: you can't live your life feeling bad about things."
I noticed something on the kitchen table that I hadn't seen in forever: my hand-made "Best Hits" CDs, Sony Discman, and a pair of headphones.
"You... you found them?"
"Gotta say, Twilight," Lemon said, "Never took you for a music-listener."
"I haven't seen these since we got our other TV!"
"Pretty neat stuff on there."
"You went through them?"
"Air Supply, Rasputin, Walk Like an Egyptian, Madonna, Gloria Gaynor, Journey. Do I have to go on?"
"I used to use these before I got Spike to help me."
"Who wants biscuits?" Cadence asked, which was pretty much everyone, considering that it was lunchtime.
Sugarcoat got a text, then pulled me down to the sidewalk.
"Guys, we'll be right back."
"What are you doing? Where are we going?" I said, grabbing Spike
"You'll see."
When we got down to the sidewalk, Sugarcoat sent another text back.
Probably just a reply.
"You remember how you said you dreamed of having a DeLorean?"
"Yeah?"
Where is she going with this?
"Look around the corner."
I saw a DeLorean, in practically brand-new condition, being driven to the apartment complex in front of a '99 Toyota RAV4.
"I... never thought I'd see one in person. It's... amazing."
"One better," Sugarcoat commented, "Look at the tag."
I took one look at the tag, and that said it all:


SCI-TWI


I looked at her, and pointed to myself, in complete shock.
"Yours."
Someone got out of the car. He looked like Sugarcoat's uncle.
"You're Miss Twilight?"
"Uh-huh."
"I'm Auto Coat," he said, holding his hand out for a handshake, "Heard what you were going through, and just thought I'd give ya a little something. Little sweetie told me about a dream, so I figured, 'What the heck?'," he handed me a set of keys. Engraved on one side of the keyheads were the letters "BTTF" in the same font as the movie's title card in orange, and the other had a purple sparkle.
"I don't know what to say."
"Listen: My doors are always open to you. Every time you feel sad about losing your parents," he pointed upwards at the sky, "just remember that they're in paradise now. As far as I'm concerned, you, your brother, and your sister are all a part of my family. If you need anything," he wrote down a phone number and gave it to me, "you just call me. I don't care when or where, I'll always be here for you."
"I... don't have a sister."
"Isn't Cadence your in-law?"
"Yeah?"
"Then she's your sister, too. Family's family, no matter what."
I could tell that he had been through several hard times before, and his words were touching Sugarcoat and myself.
"That's my Uncle Auto. He'd give up everything for anyone."
"An' I wouldn't regret a thing at all."
I felt myself tearing up.
"How's about you take your mind off of the hard stuff, and give the car a test drive."
I examined the keys, looked at Auto Coat, then Sugarcoat, then back at Auto Coat.
"All yours."
"Sugarcoat?"
"Yes?"
"Do you wanna ride with me? I do have to do a few things."
"I'll let the others know what's going on."
"Alright."
She called upstairs and let them know what was going on. Auto gave me and her a hug, then left.
"Ready?"
"Can I come?" Spike asked, unnerving Sugarcoat a little.
"Of course."
"Did he just talk?"
"Hang on," I said, putting the phone number in the back of my phone, "Okay."
"I even found out which model you'd like."
"A stick?"
"That part was pretty easy to read. Plus, you said that's how you learned to drive last night."
"Oh right."
The car started nicely, and drove like it was brand new.
"So?"
"I like it," I said, shifting through the gears.
There was a roadblock, and the two regal sisters of Equestria had been captured and pinned to the ground. Seeing this, I slammed the break on so I wouldn't hit them, because it wouldn't have been pretty at 55MPH.
"What was that about!?"
"Sorry!" I said, getting out. Sugarcoat followed me.
"Are you okay?"
It was more like they were arrested to be taken to a lab.
"What was that..." she saw the princesses, "about? Oh God, I'm sorry."
"We aren't sure what they're going to do!"
I looked around, "Hang on."
I went over to the two men who had the roads blocked.
"Excuse me," I said, "But just what in hell are you doing?"
The scientist looked at me, then at the cop.
"We need to bring this one into custody, too."
"This place keeps gettin' weirder," the cop slurred, as if she was slightly drunk.
The next thing that I knew was that I was being put in handcuffs and was put on the ground.
"Wow. Talking horses with horns and wings, and now a woman that looks like one with a horn. My day's going to shit."
"How so?"
"I'll be at the lab for at least a week on end, assuming I doubletime my work and don't take any breaks at all."
"I know the feeling. Two times at CCHS, both were just surreal. She-demons, talking ponies, destroying reality, just a bunch of bullcrap. I swear, they put so much effort into these stories now that they should be paid to turn them into books."
They looked at us again, and we almost got taken into a white van.
"A'ight. Let's go, whatever you are."
"Hold it!" Sugarcoat screamed, "Those are my specimens."
"Where is your license, then?"
Sugarcoat pulled out her wallet, and gave what I think was $250 to the cop to go away, and another $250 to the scientist to give us to her.
"Checks out," the man said, "All yours."
"Have a nice day, ma'am," the cop said.
"Let's get you two home," Sugarcoat said, taking our handcuffs off.
"We probably should," Princess Luna said as the two sisters turned themselves human.
"Oh, by the way," Sugarcoat said, "Where's Blueblood and Manor?"
"In the Canterlot Dungeon for... violation," I said.
"As much as I hate those two sons of bitches," Sugarcoat said, "They need to be brought back. Otherwise, we're all in a shitload of trouble."
"The portal is the other way," Princess Celestia said.
"Get in."
Four people in a two-seat car was rather uncomfortable, but I wanted them to be back home before anything could happen to them. By my calculations, I'd have to drive 70MPH solid to get back to the school soon enough for them not to be caught.
"Will you at least slow down some, Twilight?"
"Not until I know that they are safe."
"Blueblood and Manor will be back in your world within an hour."
"Good."



"I'm not leaving until I'm absolutely sure that you two are home safe."
"Thank you," Princess Luna said as they both went back through the portal.
"What did you mean earlier when you said they..."
I pointed to the bushes and walked over to Blueblood's case.
"They need to learn."
Blueblood and Manor came through the portal, looking even more pissed than they did at their arrest.
"Oh God!"
We both ran to the car and locked the doors. Sugarcoat ended up making it to my seat, while I in hers, "What happened? It's not running anymore!"
The engine had stalled while she was asking about earlier.
"Crap, we let it stall!"
She tried to get it to start by holding down the acceleration.
"It's the clutch, not the gas!"
They were beating on the stainless steel body as the car cranked.
"How?"
"Hold the clutch, move the stick to first, press the gas while you take your foot off of the clutch!"
She did what I said, and she finally made the car move. It only went 22MPH in low, but it was still enough to get them off of our butts.
"We're telling the others about this."
I felt like I was going to puke. Luckily, her plan was to go a few blocks, then swap places.
"Are you okay?" she said as she pulled the car up to Kabylake Avenue and Coppermine Street.
I leaned back and nodded, but when the car came to a stop, I went to the nearest trash can and vomited up everything. I could feel my face turning red, snot dripping out of my muzzle, and eyes tearing up, just from what I thought I'd have to go through. I could hear Sugarcoat buying a few sodas.
How the hell could she drink a soda at a time like this? Unless she's just being cruel and butter me up.
She went in a shop and came out with paper towels.
"Let's get you cleaned up," she said, setting me down in the left-hand seat of the car and putting the sodas in between her knees, "I wasn't sure what you liked, so I got a few Pepsis to keep in here, just in case that happens again."
I took the paper towels and cleaned myself off, using the rearview mirror to work with. She opened a can of soda, "Here. I'm sure that taste won't leave your mouth for a while, but this will really help get most of it out."
I took the Pepsi, then she asked me again, so I closed the door with my other hand.
"Are you okay?"
I couldn't get the liquid in my mouth fast enough to get rid of that putrid taste, so I was... making a small mess. I'm glad she got extra paper towels, because I used them all to wipe the drink off with.
"Yeah," I panted, head on the steering wheel, "I'm fine."
"Now, tell me what had happened at that school!"
"He... you know..."
"No, I don't know."
I took out my phone and played the recording for her that the princesses magically triggered. She sat in shock.
"Really?" she said when the file ended.
"Really," I nodded.
"Everyone needs to listen to this, and if he, either of them, tries anything else, we'll put both in a coma."
I smiled.
"I'm not above picking on someone for a little while until it gets boring, but what they're doing is too much."
"Yeah," I said as I began to drive back, "But they bribe the authorities."
"Not anymore," she said, texting the recording to her phone, "We've got 'em."
"How so," she put my phone in the cupholder.
"It's thirteen-to-two, fifteen if the Princesses heard, that they did that to you."
"How so?"
"Look at this."
"I can't. Maybe at the store. I have to get some things."



"Okay, I'll take a look at it," I said as we came out of the store with a cart full of milk, tea, and soda.
"In iMessage."


11 Recepients: Indigo, Sunny, Lemon, Sunset, Rarity, Fluttershy, Rainbow, Applejack, Pinkie, Cadence, Shining



Me: Twilight-victim.m4a
Rainbow: When I see these two, I am putting them BOTH in a coma!
Applejack: Sugarcoat, they need to be torn a new one. How could you not see this?
Fluttershy: Oh my
Rarity: Darling, why would they do such... heinous... things?
Shining: I want you to come home so we can talk about this.
Pinkie: Those big meanies!


My eye twitched for a few seconds before handing her the phone back in a noncoherent state.
"Twilight?"
We rode home in silence.



Big Mac was back at the house when we got back.
"Why didn't you tell us about this?" Cadence asked.
"I... I didn't want to lose anyone else."
"Oh, bullSHIT!" Rainbow said.
"Both o' them guys oughta be thrown inna wood chipper," Big Mac said.
"I know. But what can I do?"
"Drop it off with the police?" Fluttershy said, "That seems like it would work."
"Sugarcube, didn't y'all hear that record'n'? They'd get paid more to say "Nothin' happened, here'."
"I could expel them."
"That's not going to work," Indigo said, "They'd take a hit out on you."
"This is going to be tough," my brother said.
"Maybe not," Sugarcoat said, "Where did it happen?"
"In the bushes at Canterlot High."
"No video evidence?"
I pulled out my phone and began to show the video.
"Better."
"What are you getting at, Sugarcoat?" Cadence asked.
"You're Principal Celestia's niece, right?"
"Yeah..."
"Call her over."
"Okay," she said, at a loss as she grabbed her phone from the counter and made the call.
"Aunt Tia? Hi, it's Cadence. Great! worried. Really worried. A miss? Oh, no! Actually, I was wondering if you and Aunt Luna could stop by for a bit. Yeah, it's really. 830 4TH Avenue. Twenty-five minutes? That's fine."
"She needs her laptop," Sugarcoat said.
"You'll need your laptop. I'll say when you get here. Thanks."
She ended the call, looked at her phone, and plugged it into the in-wall USB port at the kitchen counter.



When the two principals of CHS made it to my apartment, Sugarcoat lead them and Cadence into the sitting room and closed the closet-style door. Sunny went to listen in with a glass from the kitchen but was stopped with several disapproving looks. After a few minutes, though, Sugarcoat wanted me in there.
"Yes?"
"You were... you know... at our school, but Sugarcoat knows how to fix that, and we needed your permission on something," Vice-Principal Luna said, "We want to have you on the roll for CHS, just to be on the safe side."
"Sure...?"
Cadence sat down with me, "According to Sugarcoat, if you're a student of CHS, and that crap happened to you there, they can do something about it, and nobody gets hurt."
I looked around, "You can use my computer. I can get into the networks of CHS and CPA for you."
"She's always been that smart. I've known her since she was six months old," Cadence chuckled.
"So it's settled?"
Twilight, this doesn't mean you can run from your problems at Crystal Prep, but you will have backup in a few more places now.
"Yeah."
I took them into my room, opened a connection to the CHS computer network (Flawed, last-generation security made it easy, though I didn't ever do any malicious work), and let Principal Celestia and Vice-Principal Luna do their work with the student database.
"How did you know how to get into our school's network?" Principal Celestia asked me as I logged in as her.
Twilight, you know that there's no point in lying about this, not that you would to begin with. Just how do you tell them when they're not as technologically inclined as you are?
"Well?" she said, growing impatient.
Shining Armor came in my room.
"I don't know how to tell you."
That seemed to break her. Somewhat.
"Just try. I might be able to understand it," she said, looking at the scrolling computer code.
"The CHS network servers runs a variant of something called 'Linux', and that variant is called 'Debian'. I use variants of Debian on my laptop and lab computer at CPA. The one I carry around with me is called Raspbian, while the one at my lab is a community-built Windows 7, based off of Debian. That's how I knew how to manipulate and command the system with packages, though I could do that with virtually anything that sports a DEB architecture. The security, though, is only 64-bit on one layer, so it's like a combination lock with one dial instead of three. As for the method of getting in, the max value of 64-bit is 
18,446,744,073,709,551,616
, or 2^64. Once I injected my script and had it run, it made a package that was programmed to start sending cracks in a billion addresses and spread to other values like a virus, until the system opened the firewall to my computer. At that point, the package ran and did a handshake with my computer over a 256-bit AES encrypted connection where I could use any admin account with any password, and would be accepted as valid. Whenever I sign off, the package and shell script self-destructs, leaving no trace that I was ever in the system from here to begin with."
Principal Celestia and Vice-Principal Luna looked at each other, then Cadence, my brother, then me. All in shock.
"Did you know she could..." Principal Celestia looked at my brother, "Your sister..."
"That's my little Twilie for you. For eight months last year, she was on the cyber team at the police station."
"I don't know what to say," she said, sitting down and adding me to the registry.
"It's a bit of a story, but she can't go back until after college, because of a rule change."
"Her kindergarten teacher reccomended us put her on strong medication because of her mind," he and Cadence came and hugged me, "But we wouldn't have it. Nobody would, especially Mom. She wouldn't bear to let that doctor drug her. She's got a great mind, one that works in every way imaginable, and we couldn't ask for any better than her."
He kissed me on my forehead, and Cadence booped my muzzle. Just like old times. Both sisters noticed the soldering station and my projects around it, including a somewhat-dissasembled laptop computer. Everyone had started coming in my bedroom.
"I got that from Shining Armor and Cadence when I was twelve, the microwelder from Mom, and the toolset from Dad. I remember that I spent two-and-a-half weeks, literally around-the-clock working on an animatronic arm to program for when two wasn't enough. I remember that Ms Park actually came to my house, thinking something was wrong. If it wasn't for my family and her, I would never have came back to reality. It was a good thing that I did though, because I lost about ten pounds during those two weeks," I said, "That's how cooped-up I stayed."
"Do you still have it?" Sunset asked, coming over to the bed. I was a little surprised when I found out that they heard those stories.
"Yeah," I said, getting the arm out of my drawer labeled (in VERY messy handwriting) "MEMORABLE PROJECTS", "Wow! Here it is," I let Sunset hold it. I forgot how heavy it was.
"Wow. It's heavy. Does it work?"
I set it on my dresser, pulled two cables out of the back, (120V AC and USB), plugged it into the wall, set my laptop back together, brought it over, plugged the thing into the computer, set a one-speed desk fan to the side of the arm, connected it, and ran a file called "FAN_ON.SH". Principal Celestia had finished and came over to watch my first project ever, with everyone else who was in my house.


pi@TwilightSparklesLaptop:~ $ cd Arm
pi@TwilightSparklesLaptop:~/Arm $ sudo ./FAN_ON.sh
Arm control started.

Press START to turn on the desk fan, or type ^C to return to the prompt. If no action is taken in 60s, the script will assume you have typed ^C.


I pressed the button on the base of the arm.


Execution started. I am now turning on your fan, Twilight.
Command finished. To close LXTerminal 0.2.0, type EXIT at the $ prompt. Otherwise, you may continue working in the terminal window.

pi@TwilightSparklesLaptop:~/Arm $


"That's so AWESOME!" Rainbow Dash said.
"That explains... so much," Principal Celestia said.
"Everyone thought I was going to exhaust myself, so coffee was my best friend during that time," I said, smiling at the memory, "Shining Armor, Cadence, Mom, and Dad would all take turns coming in and checking in on me while I was in the zone, though I'm pretty sure that I had them worried when I ate my breakfast over the course of an eighteen-hour period. I hadn't felt that achieved before then in my life."
"It's okay, sweetie," Cadence said, hugging me, "You meant well."
I looked at everyone.
"You're all welcome to stay as long as you want to."
"Welcome back, Twilight."