I Am The Night(mare)! And so is Luna?

by LordBrony2040


I Teach A Dog New Tricks

The final leg for the trip to the diamond dog’s capital city was a bit cramped and frustrating. I say cramped, because even though Luna and I were foffn a train with privates rooms, some of which took up an entire car, the train was made based off designs for creatures about three-quarters of Nightmare Moon’ height. Still, it was bearable enough until Moondancer woke us up before the sun rose for a special last minute history verbal essay to ensure that I knew the bare bones basic when it came to the history of the diamond dogs.

“Well, there’s been two big injections to the diamond dog population,” I said. “The first was the group that surrendered to the Equestrians after the war. They were the ones who had land assigned to them to live in and laws forbidding them from constructing underground structures to ensure that their activity could be monitored from above by pegasi without the ponies being too invasive in the dogs’ daily lives. They were allowed to keep their form of government, but the dog’s king had to report to the regional baron for anything involving trade outside of their special district. The rulership of the diamond dog’s city state has changed throughout the years, and sometimes ponies have actually sat on the throne, although such kings or queen rarely lasted more than a month or two before the unicorn, the only tribe they’ve anointed to such a position, abdicates the throne for reasons unknown and apparently goes into exile.” As in, from Equestria. Nobody really knew what happened to the former kings and queens.

With the history of the place that Luna had been around for done, she took up the second major recorded development of the diamond dog nation. “Three-hundred years after I was banished, the remaining pack of diamond dogs returned to Equestria in an attempt to invade, as it seemed their ancestors’ attempts to conquer the lands of the gargoyles and centaurs ended in massive losses for the remainder of their species,” my landlord surmised. “Celestia felt pity for them and decided to be merciful after they attempted to begin a campaign of conquest along our western border. She trapped their army and camp followers in a spell, then declared them all protected under the first treaty and deposited them within the region given to the dogs after the first war.”

Thankfully, Luna remained in control of her face long enough that by the time I was allowed to speak, I didn’t frown. “Of course, we’re still missing a good deal of information,” I said. “Like, I know that the majority of farms in the city state are taken care of by ponies, but they were supposed to be managed by diamond dogs. You never told us about any exports that the region provides, and I don’t know anything about the history of these packs that go rogue. Like, when did it all start?”

Luna frowned. “That is a good question,” she said. “I do not remember any of these deplorable acts when I still ruled over the night. The dogs might have been antisocial, but they kept to themselves and provided for themselves, so we saw no need to intercede in their affairs. While not friendly, they were hardly the type of creatures that went around doing such deplorable acts as the group outside Ponyville did.”

Which meant it probably happened after Celestia let in the...extremely militant part of the population that came to Equestria with the intent to conquer it. I covered Luna’s face with a hoof and groaned. “Oh geeze.”

Before we even arrived I could already had an idea about what was going on.

The big picture of what was probably going on, at any rate.

But, the devil was in the details. So I decided to keep it to myself and did my best to keep an open mind. Despite there being some similarities that probably served as a baseline for civilizations as a whole, I was dealing with multiple species after all, not one species with a multitude of cultures. People were people, but there was no way in hell you could teach a mouse to act like a lion in all things.

“Is something wrong, Nighty?” Moondancer asked.

I groaned and shook my head. “No. Let’s just...go back to the history...stuff. Are their any sort of customary greetings we should do when we get there?”


I’d like to say we got to our destination on time, but...there were a few complications that ended up inconveniencing us considerably. The one that upset me the most was the fact that Trixie got train sick. While she went a whole day with no problems, the second day began with her puking on Luna’s hooves and complaining about a feeling of dizziness on top of a growing migraine that made us stop the train for a good two hours while she recovered and got a checkup from one of the military doctors, but it happened.

It turned out Trixie had a minor ear condition that made her very sensitive to certain sounds. Which an underutilized track that didn’t get much maintenance made thanks to some minor warping of the metal. So after Luna plugged her ears with a noise dampening spell, we were back on our way.

At least until the engine, well...exploded. That took another hour to fix with magic. Mostly, it just took a lot of time time to find all the pieces. The actual repairs just involved Luna piecing the contraption back together.

And don’t even get me started on the cosmic horror that decided to invade Equestria right in the middle of the train tracks. The putrid smelling slime got everywhere.

So, by the time the troop transport train arrived in Dog City, or ‘Dimondonia’ as it liked to call itself, it was half past five in the afternoon. There was the usual amount of area securing that kept me and Luna on the train while the small army of ponies that we were supposed to protect if anything actually went wrong trotted out and took a look around while announcing our presence. Which took another hour.

As for the girls, Minuette and Twinkleshine went off to speak with the leader of the dog’s community to brief him or her on what was going on while Moondancer gave me a last minute quiz on everything canine. Although, since the diamond dogs had been accorded the freedom to choose their own leadership from among their own people if they wanted to, my nerdy little advisor had little in the way of personal dossiers when it came to the leadership of the community. Which seemed to be a reoccurring problem when it came to ponies dealing with other species.

Since Trixie had come along as my guest and not some follower, I just used her for that evening’s cuddle pony while Moondancer went over everything again, making sure to stress the things she didn’t think me or Luna did justice. To be honest, I think Trixie actually enjoyed being close to Luna more than any of my other girls ever did with the way she tried to dig a hole in our chest with her cheek. When we were done with the snuggly briefing, she agreed to accompany me out of the train.

“I’ve never been to this part of Equestria,” Trixie told me as she lifted her saddle bag of tricks onto her back while I was getting Luna’s new silvery princess stuff on. “These poor canines have yet to have the honor of being amazed by the Great and Powerful Trixie!”

I smiled at my little pony’s little rearing up and held in a snicker. She might have sucked at the thing her cutie mark said she was supposed to be good at, but she could put on a show. “Okay, my little pony,” I told her. “Just be sure to not cause a diplomatic incident or anything.”

The train station was a pretty good ways from the city, so went spend the next ten minutes going from the little stop that was little more than a building and a platform, across a rather large river that flowed around the island where all the dogs in the city lived, and finally to the walls of Dog City itself, which a nice fifteen-feet construction of bricks and cement that went around the mid-sized town in a circle.

One thing I did notice that seemed to be missing from the town before I even went past the wall was a castle. They had a king, didn’t they? Didn’t kings have castles?

“Captain,” I greeted Nightwing when I met the bat-pony at the entrance to the city before looking at the wooden gates. “Everything in order?”

“Yes, Lady Night,” Luna’s bat pony replied in his usual dark tone.

That was one thing I liked about Nightwing. He had the least personality of any pony I had ever met, but he got the fact that I wasn’t a princess, just a passenger. Although that was enough to warrant a noble title. Considering the other nobles I had met, I didn’t know if I should have felt insulted for it or not.

He spared a glance at Moondancer, then looked back to us. “Your other two aides are awaiting you at the town’s meeting hall.”

I replied with a quick nod of thanks before Luna gave him some verbal praise, then used her magic to crack open the gate enough for us, Trixie, and Moondancer to get through. So, town hall, and no castle, I surmised. Maybe it was like a yarl’s hut or...something.

“Now, let us see this wonderful land of,” Trixie said as she trotted into the city, only to stumble and stop. “Diamond-dumpia.”

I frowned at Trixie’s words and followed her out to see that while not literally right, the city looked...well...they were better off the griffons, at least.

Maybe.

Honestly, I hadn’t seen Griffonstone with my own eyes yet, so I couldn’t really judge.

But the place was pretty...dumpy. Buildings that would have made the ponies living in Starlight Glimmer’s village feel fortunate for what they had were set up in odd locations, some of which were well away from the cobblestone paths that served as the town’s streets. On top of the disorder, paint jobs that should have redone a decade ago did little to cover the cracks in the walls and other general lack of repair to anything. Including roofs with multiple tiles missing, a fountain that was more than half gone, and vines growing everywhere they possibly could.

As my little entourage made its way to the center of town I took the time to look into the windows to see that all of the dogs I caught a glimpse of ran away from me faster than ponies did from Luna during Nightmare Night. Then we got to the center of the large village and I noticed a definite lack of a town hall.

Instead, the place was a big open space market. By which I mean there were stands showing off rather dry-looking food and clothes that would of had Rarity gagging next to the odd stand of clothing with golden frills, tassels, and long feathers sticking out of caps.

Not wanting to look like an idiot, I turned my attention to Moondancer. “So, now that we have seen this place’s chief commerce area, where is the center of government?”

“This way, Princess,” Moondancer told me.

When we got to the town hall at the rear end of town, which looked it had been a little more kept up than the rest of the place, Trixie cleared her throat before we even reached the stairs to the front door. “Well, I have fun ah...princessing, you two,” she said. “I’m off to show these dogs the wonder that is Trixie!”

“Fare thee well, my little pony,” Luna said before I cleared her out of our throat. “Uh, Trixie, don’t you want to come in?”

Trixie gave me a flat look. “And spend the rest of the day hearing about a bunch of boring politics?” she asked before her snorting eye roll told me how much that idea appealed to her. “Since we will be here for the next three or four days, Trixie needs to go around and attract some attention for her show. And ah, no offense to either of you, but that’s not going to happen with your royal countenance around.”

I had to admit, she had a point. Despite having next to no guards around me, the diamond dogs had cleared the street from the gates to my current location. “Okay, just um…” I looked back at the two pegasus guards who had followed me in. “You two go with her.”

“No!” Trixie whined. “Princess Luna, if I take royal guards with me, then nopuppy will want to see me demonstrate my talents! Tell them not to come.”

Luna turned her head sideways, and I could feel her put on a stern look as she spoke to the air since we didn’t have a mirror handy. “She has a point. Let her be, I am certain that no one will approach her if the guard stands by to intimidate any misbehaviors from occuring.”

I groaned my displeasure of the idea, but Luna was the one with the crown, so Trixie just trotted off with her saddlebags full of magic tricks to attract attention for a show she would be putting on tomorrow night. As soon as she left, I made my way into the mayor’s office, where a trio of canines were waiting along with Twinkie and Toothpaste.

The office room was a decent-sized place, with a wooden floor and large desk in the back along with windows big enough for Luna to walk through behind it that gave a nice view of the river and an...outhouse, of all things. A large red carpet covered about three-fourths of the floor, while sparsely populated bookshelves full of old bones, gems, and very little reading material took up the left and right walls.

“Girls,” I greeted them with a nod before looking over to the five dogs standing on the carpet across from them. Two of them had gray coats and were in nothing but collars and jackets, but the other three  had a bit different dress.

The first was a short, stout dog that looked to be a mix of bloodhound, pointer, airedale, and a hunting breed. He wore a red collar with no spikes on it as well as an aviator’s cap.

The second was the biggest of the three, tall enough to meet Luna eye to eye a dark brown dog who wore no clothes at all besides his collar.

The third looked to be either a short bulldog, or some kind of pug, full decked out in poofy clothes that covered him from neck to paw. He was the one that stepped forward to greet us. “Hello, dark pony. I am Chancellor Scruffles. Shake,” he said as he held out a hand.

Luna looked at it for a moment before speaking. “We would rather not,” she said before turning her attention to the other two dogs. “And your companions?”

Scruffles looked over to the other two. “This is Mayor Scooby,” the dog said as he gestured towards the big brown dog. “And our head executive, Muttley.”

Not being in charge of our face at the moment of that announcement, I didn’t roll my eyes, perform a mouth drop, groan, or anything else that I really wanted to do after being introduced. “Odd,” Luna said. “Should not your community only have one of those positions?”

“Doesn’t Equestria have two princesses?” the dog replied.

Luna smirked. “Actually, the number of princesses Equestria currently holds is a matter of debate. Although, as you obviously mean my sister and myself, we fulfill different duties and each act as a check and complement to the other,” she said. “While here, I would be interested in hearing how your particular form of government came about. The last I remember, you all had a king you called a...pack leader, I believe it was.”

It could have been my imagination, but I could have sworn I saw the three dogs tense for a moment.

But as soon as it came, the moment was gone, and Scruffles was talking again. “It’s simply really, since true executive power is derived from the people, and the chief executive serves at the will of the people,” he said. “So, because some of the dogs wanted me to do the job, and some dogs wanted Scooby, and others wanted Muttley, we all got it.”

So they all ran for election, and everybody won? That didn’t really seem like a workable system of government. Well, at least they put the guy who could speak full sentences in charge.

Luna blinked. “I...see,” she said. “Do you all have different duties, then?”

“No,” Scruffles told her. “We all have the same job.”

A brief silence followed, after which Luna had to break when the dogs didn’t volunteer anything. “Well, as it is much too late in the day for a public gathering, we shall retire.”

“Rerire?” Scooby said as years of experience with his language allowed me to translate it in real time. “But you just got here! Who will beg for forgiveness if not big black princess?”

So much for full sentences, I thought to myself with a frown. Both at the stupidity of the dogs and that ‘beg’ comment. “It means we’re going to bed,” I told them when Luna just cocked her head at the semi-gibberish that the Scooby Doo double said. Mutley laughed at the bigger dog’s lack of understanding. “Be sure to have all of you dogs gathered for the big apology tomorrow.”

The non-reference character brightened up. “Oh yes! We will be looking forward to watching you beg!”

Luna frowned and looked back at the dogs as I decided that getting out now would be preferable to her going off on them. “Oh, it shall be quite the memorable event,” she said evenly with her head turned away from the door.


We spent the rest of the day taking a very short tour of Dog City and the surrounding farmland to talk to some of the ponies that ran the farms, which were few and far between. Most of them were earth ponies that couldn’t get work elsewhere, or were the third daughter of the family and wouldn’t be inheriting anything. So they came to this end of Equestria to make a living for themselves. But, the diamond dogs weren’t sociable with them at all. Most left after a few years since the money they got for farming dog land was heavily taxed by the same creatures that depended on them to for food.

The unsuitable food supply, the odd way they governed themselves, the fact that the two Hanna Barbera references barely that barely said a word...everything about Dog City just felt wrong. And I mean super weird kind of wrong. Not the normal kind of wrong or weird Equestria usually experienced. Both of them. Together.

Plus, there was something else that had been getting on my nerves since we decided to stay in a hotel rather than back on the train…

“Come and see big stupid pony beg dogs for forgiveness tomorrow! Lots of laughs!” a dog called out from the street below as he went around announcing the news. He was the third one I had seen since coming back from the outlying farms, all of them had their own take on the announcement. There was stupid pony, dumb pony, and stinky ugly pony with the wrong color on her fur.

Luna didn’t think I had a right to be mad at the last guy, as it was her body he had been insulting, not our intelligence.

The rest of my party looked about as annoyed with the whole situation as I was, judging by the frowns on Minuette and Twinkleshine’s faces. Moondancer was reading one of her books, and Trixie...wasn’t around. The last bothered me quite a bit. Sure, it was Trixie, but she was still a pony.

I looked up at the room’s clock and frowned. “Hey girls, did Trixie mention when she would be back?”

“No,” Twinkleshine repled.

“Come laugh at stupid pony! She beg good!”

Minuette looked over to the two of us. “Uh, just to be sure, Princess. You aren’t actually here to do that, right?”

Luna snorted. “The only creatures that will be begging tomorrow will be the canines after I demand recompense for the damage their kin caused and restrict Equestria’s access to their farmland to only non-equines,” she growled. “If they wish to mock us, I see no reason to provide them with a labor force.”

“Does anypony else think this place is weird?” I asked before Luna could start on some rant that ended with her breathing fire or something.

Moondancer looked up from her book. “I’ll say it weird,” she replied. “They don’t have a library, or even a place to store their public records! I thought I could finally get some information on this place for future generations. Maybe even publish an academic paper or two. But, no. What type of town doesn’t have records?”

“The type that doesn’t do maintenance, grow their own food, or even bother with a sensible form of government, apparently,” Minuette said without her usual mirth.

“Tis much changed from when I visited last,” Luna said. “Yet, not in the ways one would expect.”

I frowned at that. Luna only slipped back into ye old English when she was thinking about something that took up too much processing power to talk correctly. “What do you mean?”

“Twas more than a thousand years ago, but they had all of these things back then,” Luna told me. “There were several dogs that even left the town in search of work, helping to construct irrigation canals and the like. Twasn’t as magnificent as a pony community by any stretch of the imagination, without talents to build grand structures and what not, but the canines did well for themselves. One could even admire their attempts to emulate our more gentle ways without a mark upon their flanks.”

I looked away from the window she had us gazing out and back to our cutie mark. “And what were you expecting?”

Luna snorted. “Something much grander than this,” she said. “The hamlet looks even smaller that what was constructed a thousand and more years ago.”

All of a sudden, I got a very bad feeling in the back of my head. Dog City didn’t just not make sense in a kid’s show kind of way anymore. It didn’t make sense in the small community was home to an evil cult that fed tourists to Cthulhu kind of way. “Girls, we need to get the three of you back to the train where all the guards are.”

“Uh, wouldn’t that make the dogs upset for refusing their hospitality?” Twinkleshine asked.

I looked up from where Luna was laying on the three beds that had to be pushed together just to give me and her enough mattress to sleep on, and over to the third pony in the room with us that was forced to sleep on the floor because the dogs said this was the only pony room in the inn. “I honestly couldn’t care less,” I told her before looking up at the horn above my eyes. “Luna, pop us out, would you?”


After we teleported the girls out and met with the night guard, that didn’t have to be roused at all since it was, you know...night. Luna, Nightwing and I briefly discussed what we needed to do in order to see if my suspicions about the dogs holding Tixie up somewhere for some kind of pure-hearted virgin sacrifice were true.

Which I had to wonder if Trixie qualified for in any way at all.

While Luna didn’t share my fears about Trixie’s life being in danger, she did agree that something else had to be going on other than what we were seeing. So, after Nightwing did a quick passover of the village with some of his lunar pegasi too high up to be seen in the dark but much closer than normal, Luna decided our plan of action.

“Nighty and I shall scout the area on our own,” she announced.

Nightwing cleared his throat. “Highness, I must object. We can-”

“Fly, put up a good fight, and do several other things that include making a great deal of noise, my Captain,” Luna told him before he could finish. “Even if I were to dapen such sounds, the noses of the canines would still detect our approach, and making a party completely hidden is beyond Nighty’s abilities. Only she and I may move about without raising alarm. Something that must be done if Nighty’s fears about her dear Trixie are correct.”

I nodded, or half nodded before frowning and looking back to Luna’s flank. “Wait, what do you mean, dear?” I asked. I hated Trixie, as much as someone could hate a pony that wasn’t Starlight Glimmer, anyway. She was whiny and annoying. The only blue pony for me had a rainbow mane.

“Do you not care for her a great deal?” Luna asked in confusion.

I sat Luna down and crossed her forelegs. “Not at all.”

To which Luna smirked. “Methinks she doth protest too much.”

Once again, I opened my mouth to tell her off, but...well, the fact Luna managed to say that corny line while meaning every damn word...yeah, I couldn’t ruin it with a comeback. So, I just horse-snorted and headed towards the door. “Yeah, yeah. Come on, we need to pull Trixie’s plot out of whatever she’s got it stuck in.”

“Very well,” Luna said. “Now, follow my instructions on this precisely. The magic is is quite...tricky.”


About ten seconds after we started making our way through Dog City, I understood why Luna didn’t want to bring anyone with us. You know, aside from the general uselessness of the guards. Not that I thought that all of the Lunar Guard was useless. I had trained with them, after all. But...it’s not like they were SEALs.

She led me through a complex exercise that was more like flight magic or pegasus cloud bursting than anything done with a horn. It was a completely new experience, for which there aren’t enough of the correct descriptors in the English language to explain.

Long story short, Luna led me through weird physical exercise and the next thing I knew, I was this floating blob of shadow. No actual mass or anything like that, just...darkness. On top of which, I didn’t have eyes, a nose, ears, or anything else like that, but I was still aware of my surroundings in the weirdest way. That is, I didn’t hear sound, or see shapes, it was more like I just felt anything I needed to be aware of. Even then, it was still pretty muted, as there was no sensation of hot or cold. There was no color or real sense of distance beyond what I personally experienced. The whole thing made me feel kind of like a blind fish in the ocean.

We spent about half an hour with me just darting this way and that, feeling my way around as I got used to the different sensation of being a mass of shadow while we searched the city. But, seeing as how we were just searching for Trixie, I had to come up with something worthwhile to do so the evening wouldn’t be a total waste of time. “Hey Luna, I was thinking, we need a battlecry.”

Pray tell, what brought this on?” Luna ‘said’ as we crossed the street in a lightless flash.

I tried to shrug, or maybe I did, it was hard to tell when I was just a massless blob of night. “Just something I was thinking of,” I told her. “You plan to be getting into a lot more fights than the normal pony, right? So, we need a battlecry. Something to demoralize our opponents and uh...stuff.”

Even though we didn’t have a body, I got the feeling that Luna was given me a half-lidded look. “I can see that you put a great deal of thought into this.”

Hey! I’ve had other stuff on my mind too ya know!” I shot back before we darted to another shadow. “I’m just saying, it’d be cool if if we had a battle cry. Uh, as long as it’s not something silly, like...spoon, or...something.”

Luna snorted. “Very well, I shall consider the matter,” she said. “Now quiet, our prey is approaching.”

It took me a minute to pick up on what Luna had detected. Two shapes were coming towards us, both of whom were dogs. They appeared to be about the same size and build of the background soldier dogs that Cadance and I ran into beneath Ponyville.

“Pack leader call meeting tonight?” the one on the right side said.

“Pack leader call meeting,” the other dog replied. “He got big news for us all tonight. You dig?”

I...well, I tried to blink at the weird sensation of hearing creatures talk without ears. It wasn’t really hearing, either. While there was a difference in volume between the two, it sounded more like two characters had the same voice actor, who didn’t have enough talent to make more than one voice.

As they got closer, I managed to make out a pair of name tags on their dog collars. The one on the right was Rob, while the other dog had the name Don.

“This dog digs,” Rob replied. “This dog digs deep.”

Once they passed us, I felt Luna shift our attention to the dogs. “Follow them,” she ordered.

I did as told, not even needing to be all that careful. We made no noise and gave off no scent, so they dogs didn’t even bother to look behind them. Even if they did, I wasn’t sure they could have noticed anything. It was pretty late after all, and my senses weren’t working like normal. For all I knew, it was pitch black to the point that nobody would have seen anything even if they had looked right at Luna.

When they got to town hall, the dogs went around to the back of the building where there was a large outhouse. Then they went inside. As in one at a time and didn’t come out.

Yeah, the suspiciousness of it all made us look inside.

The lack of a nose helped.

Needless to say, we didn’t find what we were supposed to when I followed them inside. Instead of a crap filled hole in the ground with a seat on top of it, there was...a hole in the ground. A really, really deep hole that looked too deep to be a smart option for a latrine. Not to mention big. The thing was big enough for one of the dogs to fall in for crying out loud. It looked more like one of those holes that Cadance and I found outside of Ponyville that led to the underground network of tunnels.

In other words, it was an entrance hole.

Probably to some big underground network of tunnels where the diamond dogs did...stuff.

Okay, so I wasn’t that all-knowing when it came to stuff like this. Sure, it was pretty obvious that the dogs were up to no good. But considering the intelligence of the creatures that were outright mocking Luna to her face with their street announcements while thinking they were being clever and the fact I was in Equestria, it didn’t seem like there was some big master plan of ultimate evil going on. On the other hand, these guys had apparently eaten ponies before. It didn’t take a genius-level intellect to be a psychopath.

We went down the dog hole and found it led to a large tunnel a good fifteen feet down. Thankfully, the thing only went in one direction, and we weren’t that far away from the two dogs we’d been following. We caught up to them quickly. “Hey Luna,” I ‘said’ to my landlord without the use of a mouth. “Didn’t Moondancer say that dogs weren’t allowed to have underground structures anymore?”

Yes,” she replied with her perturbed voice. “Celestia and I had the canines that surrendered to Equestria after the war give up their subterranean lairs. We even chose this land specifically to house them because the river would act as a natural barrier. Diamond dogs are poor swimmers, and mud presents several problems for them when it comes to digging through it as they are used to.”

If had an eyebrow, I would have raised it. “Like?”

The diamond dogs don’t just travel through the earth effortlessly, they can breathe through it as well. Muddy ground prevents them from doing so, and the water remains when they use their magic to move the earth with their paws,” she explained.

Our conversation was cut short when we reached the end of the hallway and found what was waiting for us. It took me a few seconds to absorb the details of our location, but when I did, it left me impressed. From what I could tell, we were in a big cavern of a room under the town’s square. There were eight other tunnels leading out from it, probably with the same type of hidden entrances/exits Luna and I had just came from.

As for the camber itself, the place was like a mid-sized amphitheater dug into the ground. We were at the top and the rows of steps and seats led down to a flat, half-circular area. I had no idea how the place was lit up, although I didn’t detect anything like outcroppings of long sticks that could have been lit. Once again, the muted senses of the night form Luna had told me to take only gave me an incomplete picture.

I noticed enough though. There were a lot of dogs already gathered, and by the time all of them had shown up, their total numbers had to be somewhere between one-hundred and twenty to one-fifty. While it wasn’t anywhere near the number of canines Dog City could house, with Moondancer telling me that number being somewhere in the four to five hundred range, one-fourth of the population was still enough of a chunk to be worrisome.

Then, the top dog showed up.

He didn’t need an introduction or anything, I could tell he was in charge just by the way he entered the place, which was by digging his way up from the bottom of the amphitheater stage. He was a big muscled brute of pitbull, about twice the size of any of the other dogs, with a big underbite and a pair of teeth that nearly came up to his nose.

He raised his front hands up above his head, and let out a loud roar.

All of the other dogs howled at the action.

Hey Luna, you see Trixie anywhere?” I asked. She was probably a lot more used to looking at things the way we were right now, and I’ll admit, the big dog was kind of distracting.

Unfortunately, no,” she replied.

“WHO IS TOP DOG ON WORLD?” the big diamond dog shouted loud enough to be heard over his adoring public.

“PACK LEADER IS TOP DOG!” all of the other canine’s yelled back.

“WHO IS TOP DOG UNDER WORLD?” the big diamond dog shouted.

To which the dozens of adoring fans replied, “PACK LEADER IS TOP DOG!”

And, I had the sneaking suspicion that Luna and I were...okay, I’m going to say it...barking up the wrong tree. What I saw beneath me appeared to be more like a pro-wrestler pumping up a crowd, not some evil mastermind that was plotting revenge against the pony race.

“So, Pack Leader hear that stupid ponies come back to Diamondonia!” the big dog said in a loud voice, getting a boo from the crowd. “Stupid ponies want to apologize for what happen to diamond dogs that went hunting.”

As the crowd broke out into laughter, I wished I had some eyes to roll.

“Maybe Pack Leader have fat pony kiss his tail!” the dog shouted, getting another cheer from the crowd.

At which point, I turned my attention back to Luna. “Maybe we should get going. This idiot is just a bag of hot-”

“And Pack Leader have surprise for you all tonight!” the big dog yelled before looking back to the flat wall of the amphitheater. “Bring the pony!”

I quickly shut up when a pair of dogs dug a tunnel out of the wall and walked into the cavern, pulling a chain behind them as another voice rang out from the tunnels. “Hey! Hey let me go! What are you doing? You said you were going to make me your queen!”

Even without ears to detect a tone, I knew who was talking. Although, the whole queen comment threw me off, not to mention Trixie’s appearance. Judging by her...outline, she didn’t have her cape or hat on. The only thing that let me tell it was Trixie, other than the obviousness of it all I mean, was her telltale mane style.

There was something off about her, though. There was a...thing around her head, to which the chain was attached. With the queen comment, I...guess it could have been a crown, although the chain on it...I couldn’t help compare it to a collar and a leash.

Luna directed me to move us up on the ceiling of the place. “Still think this isn’t the place?” she asked.

Despite my lack of a face, I did my best to frown at her. “Okay so...now what? We transform back, swoop in and save her?”

“Stupid pony!” Pack Leader said. “We tell all ponies that can make and find gems like you at first! Then you put on collar, and now you are gem hunter for life!”

“WHAT?” Trixie shouted. “No, you don’t understand! That was just a magic trick!”

Neigh,” Luna told us. “Trixie is too close to the canines. If we move now, she might be injured before we can change back into a solid form and act. We must wait for them to present the right moment to us.”

Pack Leader laughed. “HA! Yes. Pony has magic to turn rocks into gems! No need to even leave city anymore! Pony just make all the shines right here!”

“No, no! You don’t understand,” Trixie tried to explain. “It’s not real magic. I don’t actually turn the rocks into gems, I just distract you with some smoke and mirrors, and then swap the rocks out for some cheap gems. I can’t even do transmutation! It’s just a cheap trick I thought up while working on a rock farm!”

Pack Leader looked down at the little horse. “Pony think Pack Leader is stupid?”

The question made Trixie blink. “Well...yes,” she said after a moment’s consideration. “But that’s beside the point. I can’t do what you want me to. I don’t think anypony can. Gems have mystical-affecting properties and being able to just consume them-”

“PONY CALL PACK LEADER STUPID?” the dog roared before grabbing Trixie’s leesh and hauling her up to his face.

Trixie let out a terrified shriek. “W-Well, you asked me!” she said before giving him a nervous smile. “Now, since I can’t actually do what you need me to, how about you just let me go, and we can all forget this ever happened? Or, can you at least let me down? Being held in the air like this is giving Trixie a bad headache.”

The big diamond dog growled at Trixie for a second then held her back. “If stupid pony not give Pack Leader gems, then Pack Leader eat pony’s heart!”

I tensed. Mentally, I mean. “Uh Luna...is it time yet?”

Not yet,” she told me.

Trixie let out another scream. “WHAT? Y-You can’t do that! Princess Luna will-”

“HAHAHAHA!” The diamond dog laughed hard enough to clutch his gut and drop Trixie, who quickly scampered away towards the door she had been pulled in from, only to have it blocked by the two dogs that had held her leash not five minutes ago. Trapped between the three canines, the little pony just looked back and forth for a second before crouching down in fear while her former handlers slowly approached.

How about now?” I asked a second before Luna gave her response.

As Trixie trembled in fear, the big dog turned around to address the crowd. “Stupid pony think fat princess will save her!” he howled as we dropped from the ceiling, me willing the transformed state to end and reforming halfway down. “If she were here, Pack Leader would show her what we do to stupid ponies who think they smarter than dogs!”

I landed right on top of Trixie, Luna’s nightmare-length legs giving me plenty of room to absorb the shock without actually falling on top of my little pony. With my senses returned to normal, I got an actual view of the amphitheater and saw that it was lit by a dozens of small glowing gems embedded in the walls that gave the eyes of the dogs enough light to see. The big dog’s coat was a sickeningly pale white, and he had blood red eyes glared back at us in surprise.

Trixie let out an excited gasp from her place between our legs. “Nightmare! Luna!”

“Alright then, mongrel,” Luna said in a tone that brokered no nonsense. “Show us.”

All of the dogs sat and stood silent at our sudden appearance.

I quickly did my best to come up with some kind of plan to deal with the situation. With Luna’s magic, I was pretty sure we could subdue the army of diamond dogs in some kind of paralysis field, then use a sleep spell to put them under one by one before we dragged the whole lot of them out into the night to be arrested. Or, if Luna wanted to go for something more dramatic, with us and the big dog having a showdown of some sort, she could transmute the ground around us to mud before creating a light mist to stand on. It would allow us full mobility while stopping the diamond dog boss from being able to dig his way behind us or escape. Then I could work on his joints, maybe use Luna’s sharp horn to cut him above the eye, so the blood would block his vision. We could widdle him down, bit by bit.

“Nightmare, I will speak. You can handle the rest,” Luna told me, thus killing all of my plans.

“Uh oh, leader be mad now,” Don said before the other dogs could recover. “He get all berserk.”

“Leader be chomping down on pony now,” Rob agreed.

The dog apparently took the comment to heart, and charged at me and Luna with his arms spread wide and his mouth open wide in a yell.

As for me, I was...okay, yeah...I was a bit...very, very frightened.

Diamond dogs against me with Luna in control of her horn? Easy.

Diamond dogs against me with Luna NOT controlling her horn? I was gonna get Luna’s ass kicked.

Trixie was gonna get eaten.

AND WE WERE ALL GONNA DIE!

The panic quickly spread throughout my body and...I did any normal person turned horse would do. I reared up and...got a little confused with Luna sucked in a deep breath.

“IMPERATRIX REX!”

The sound of Luna’s booming Canterlot voice filled the chamber, assaulting the sensitive ears of the diamond dogs with its volume and stopping the pack leader’s charge with the force it generated. Then, emboldened by Luna’s battlecry...and the massive opening my opponent was giving me combined with his inability to fight back, I flapped my wing to change the direction of my retreat into a change, and slammed both of Luna’s hooves right into the big diamond dogs face.

I was expecting...I don’t know, maybe some fist/hoof fighting, or something, but once again...my expectations crumbled because...well...ponies.

Hell, Applejack can put several tons worth of force into her kicks, and being an alicorn of twice the earth pony’s size with some kind of eldritch abomination giving her even more power, Luna’s strength was several times that. So, when I hit the dog with Luna’s hooves, there was an audible crunch before his head went flying back, leaving behind a trail of blood and teeth in the air as before his whole body impacted the first row of stands.

The big bad dog laid there with a lower jaw that had caved in from the force of Luna’s hooves. “”Gurah. Goo grag ga,” he said as he just of just laid there, dazed but not quite out as his followers sat there, mute after watching me and Luna one-shot their boss.

I walked Luna forward, sparing a glance at Trixie to make sure she was alright. Luna apparently took this as her cue to work some magic, and broke the collar that had been wrapped around Trixie’s head like some kind of stupid crown. As for me, I decided to get in a few words. “What happened?” I asked the dog in a humorless voice. “I thought you were going to show me something. Teach this pony her place.”

By the time I got over to the dog to loom over him, the guy was coughing up blood. “Well I’ve got a lesson for you, stupid puppy,” I said before raising my hoof to deliver another blow to the monster that had threatened to eat my friend. “Trixies aren’t for dogs.” And then I brought the hoof down, putting an end to the dog’s squirming about.

With that done, Luna cleared her throat and looked up at the assembled canines who were...looking on with a weird mix of fear and awe. “Now,” she said. “Does any puppy else wish to try and show me something?”


After Luna took down the alpha dog, things started going a lot easier for us for the rest of our stay. Dogs stopped snickering behind our backs and did whatever the hell we told them to as quickly as they could. Which included cooperating with Moondancer in getting me and Luna some answers on just what hell happened to bring down what should have been by all measures, a thriving community. But, there were a few obstacles for that even with the entire city’s cooperation, and the whole thing ended up taking a better part of two days.

Once we finished reading the report, I put down the thirty pages of penscratch and looked over to bookhorse-light. “So, let me get this straight,” I said. “About seven-hundred years ago, Celestia let the defeated remnants of the diamond dog forces that had tried to conquer the western lands where the centaurs and gargoyles lived, but got their plots handed to them.”

Moondancer nodded, then had to reach up and adjust her glasses. “I wouldn’t have put it so...eloquently, but...yes.”

“While the dogs that had surrendered one-thousand years previously had decided to do their best to adapt to living by Equestria laws, no longer digging holes and eating only fruits and vegetables, the warrior society that Celestia just threw into the mix weren’t.”

The surmierization got another nod from Moondancer. “Correct. From the stories that have been passed down, which I’ll admit don’t seem to be many, this new group of dogs attempted to force Diamond City to...go back to their roots,” she said.

Luna frowned at the amicable description Moondancer used. “I would hardly be so kind. They adopted the ruling system of might makes right and killed any creature that disagreed with them. They forced the rest of their kind to give up tilling the land or traveling Equestria to use their particular skills for the betterment of all.”

“Since they were the only ones that had any martial skills, the rest of the population didn’t have much they could do to resist,” I continued. “And to make sure that none of the other dogs saw how much better everything was before, they outlaws reading and writing.”

At that, Moondancer cleared her throat. “Pardon me, Nightmare,” she said. “I do not believe the reason writing was banned in Diamond City was quite so...sinister. As mentioned in my report, the reason the war dogs did away with writing was the same reason they forbid any dog to farm, it was something the ponies had introduced to the canine society. Which they viewed as a...corrupting influence. Only the city officials are allowed to take on the burden of ah, knowing what pony pictures mean, as they put it.”

I still didn’t buy it. The farming...okay, I could believe that. On top of which, well...you could feed dogs grains, and peas and fruits, and they could live off of them. There were plenty of vegetarian nut-jobs out there that tried to force their beliefs on animals that weren’t built to work that way. But I could guarantee you that any one of those dogs on a veggie diet would kill for the chance to eat what they naturally craved.

But the writing? Having people, or any species really, so messed up they willingly choose to be illiterate as a point of...what? National pride? Some kind of philosophical or religious thing? That just kind of rubbed me the wrong way. You kept people stupid to control them. There was a reason that teaching slaves to read was illegal way back when, and it had nothing to do with the idea that it was just too complex for them to learn.

You keep people stupid, unable or worse, just unwilling to hear an opinion different from the one their being spoon fed, and they might start asking questions.

But then again, I was dealing with an alien species that had a dog’s lifespan here.

“So a small minority that was willing to do violence held the majority hostage for a generation and created a ruling class that continued the tradition throughout the centuries,” Luna finished surmising.

I took up the conversation. “The question how is...how to fix it?”

“AWHOOOOOOOOO!”

I let out a groan as it sounded like every single dog in the city howled at the exact same time. “Ugh! Do they have to do that every single night?”

“It is the traditional showing of feality for diamond dogs,” Luna reminded me. “Giving one’s allegiance to the leader of their pack, or in this case, the symbol that best represents my authority.”

In other words, the sound I was hearing was every single dog in town howling at the moon.

Getting back on topic, I used Luna’s magic to shut the blinds on the window. “So...now what? We bus in a bunch of teachers and junk to teach the dogs how to read and use basic farming techniques as well as...what? Open a friendship school to teach them how to get along and pick leaders that don’t involve beating others to a pulp?” I asked. The idea seemed way too corny. Even for My Little Pony.

“An excellent idea!” Luna said. “We shall instruct these canines in Equestria’s doctrine of friendship.”

I blinked. Wait...did Luna just say we’re going to indoctrinate the diamond dogs? As in...brainwash? Wasn’t quite sure how I felt about that.

“By the way Luna,” I said. “Are you sure we don’t need to...I don’t know, ship every last one of those dogs we saw in the underground arena straight to Tartarus?” They were cheering the idea of Trixie getting eaten after all.

Luna snorted. “The diamond dogs are simple creatures. By defeating their leader in single combat, we proved our superiority according to their own rules, something it would seem my sister was a bit lax in doing, judging by how they laughed at her constantly. Twould seem that Equestria truly has suffered from a lack of harsh hooves in these past thousand years.”

I glanced over at the clock and sighed. It was ten PM, time to take care of more important things than the rebuilding, reeducating, and restructuring of an archaic alien society. “Okay, looks like it’s time to turn in.”

Luna yawned. “Agreed,” she said before looking down at the pony in front of us. “We shall see you on the marrow, fair Moondancer. Before you though, tell Twinkleshine to draft a letter. I want some of the bureaucrats in Canterlot to come upon next train. We will require several ponies to help organize this mess before we pass it off to a new governor.”

After giving Moony my goodnights, I trotted out of the city and across the water to where Luna’s train was waiting for us, surrounded by guards. We gave Nightwing a little nod, then went inside to our sleeping car, where there was already a pony in our bed.

As soon as we stepped inside, her head shot up and a point of light appeared on her horn. “Princess?” Trixie asked in a panicked voice. “Is that you?”

“Tis us, young Trixie,” Luna assured the frightened unicorn before I walked over and flopped down on the mattress. “Everything is fine. You are perfectly safe here.”

The little unicorn did her best to bore into Luna’s coat as we hugged her tightly. “Are we leaving tomorrow?” she asked. “Trixie wants to go back to Canterlot.”

I gave her the bad news. “It’s still going to be a day...or two,” I said as I ran a fetlock down the little pony’s mane. “But don’t worry, Trixie, I’ll always be here to protect you.”