Texas stared up in disbelief at the massive construction that stood to one side of Red Base, having just been wheeled out after having been completed. "So...this is your weaponized love and snuggles?" she asked Sarge carefully, doing her best to not let any emotion into her voice.
"Yup!" Sarge declared proudly. "Isn't she a beauty?"
The weapon was a huge construct of metal and tubes, standing nearly twice as large as a Scorpion Tank. It stood on the platform it was rolled out on on four thick legs, with the primary charging coils looped into a barrel structure between them. Power cables stretched back from the rear into the base in straight lines, and vents curled up and over the business end before pointing down towards the ground. None of this would be all that unusual...until one realized that the 'face' of the weapon was an actual face, a rather familiar one.
"Why is it shaped like a pony?" Texas asked curiously.
"Because ponies are the ultimate weapon!" Sarge declared proudly as the sun's light glittered off the gray metal of the weapon, shimmering in the light as its eyes glowed, showing it was getting power.
"Miniature ponies, maybe," Texas allowed half jokingly.
"That's why this is just the proof-of-concept siege/test model!" Sarge exclaimed excitedly. "The final models will hook into smaller charge tanks strapped to our backs and be hand-held, like superior flame throwers! We'll keep this one for dealing with entrenched installations!"
Texas had a sudden mental image of military installations desperately struggling to hold the line as massive metal ponies kicked doors in and blasted tanks and jeeps to smithereens with lasers from their mouths as their eyes extended mini-guns to take out flying enemies. It was somewhere between terrifying and adorable. "And...what do you call it?" she asked curiously. "Earlier you were calling it the...Snuggles'n'Love-"
"Yeah, Donut was right about that being a bad acronym," Sarge allowed ruefully. "No way was I going to try and win Maud over with a pony SLAVE. So instead...behold the Multi-emotional Anti-blue Utilitarian Distributor cannon!"
"The...MAUD cannon?" Texas clarified carefully. She looked over the weapon again carefully. Once she saw the power cables as a tail and the exhaust vents as a mane, she could see they were in the same style as Maud wore hers. And the shape of the muzzle... "Yeah, I can see the resemblance."
"Do you think Maud will like it?" Sarge asked hopefully.
"Why not show it to her?" Texas asked curiously. "You're trying to hire her with it, after all. Instead you asked me to come see it without her, which...really doesn't make much sense."
"I wanted your opinion on the design," Sarge explained worriedly. "If it's one Maud wouldn't like, we'd have to completely redesign the exterior before even considering a test-fire, and that could take another week!"
"And now you want to test-fire," Texas observed calmly.
"Only if you think she'll like it!"
Texas thought about that for a time. "Well, Maud's a lot like me in a lot of ways...and I think she's more impressed with function than fashion. However, if it does work well, I think she'd love the idea of a weapon of mass destruction that had her face."
"Excellent!" Sarge declared happily. He tapped his communicator. "Simmons! Prepare to test-fire!"
"Preparing to test-fire!" Simmons called back. "Energizing the fuel lines, performing checks...uh, we've got a few red lights-"
"Anything that'll prevent it from firing?" Sarge demanded hotly.
"Uh...no, it'll definitely still fire," Simmons allowed.
"Then ignore them!" Sarge ordered angrily. "Keep it charging!"
"Understood sir!"
At that moment, Texas' communicator beeped. "Mom!" Caboose demanded insistently. "Mom! Mom! Mommy! Mom! Mom-"
"What?" Texas demanded irritably.
"I'm just calling to say I love you, Mommy!" Caboose greeted warmly. "Oh, and Sis wants to know how checking out the weapon is going!"
"It's certainly aesthetically pleasing," Texas allowed thoughtfully. "And it looks like it's going to fire soon-"
"Then I want to see it," Maud said from Texas' hands, having somehow taken the place of the assault rifle she'd been holding.
"Mom!" Caboose gasped in shock. "Did you know Sis could turn into a gun?"
"I knew she could function as one," Texas joked, unable to stop herself from smiling as Maud looked eagerly up at the weapon wearing her name and face.
"She is amazing!" Caboose affirmed excitedly. "I wonder if I can turn into a weapon?"
"I think you would make a very effective weapon with the proper training," Texas allowed thoughtfully. "I'm pretty sure you wouldn't be in this canyon otherwise."
"It's so nice of you to say that," Caboose responded.
Texas paused. His voice sounded...off. And familiar. She started to make a quick mental check-
<"Texas!"> Church called out worriedly. <"Are you alright? I just got a feeling that...something had gone wrong. I don't know how to explain it better.">
"I was just about to check when you called!" she snapped irritably. "Can you be quiet long enough for me to-"
"Mom?" Maud asked worriedly, looking...at her shoulder.
"What's wrong, Maud?" she asked quickly, starting to feel somewhat afraid. After all, Maud could see and interact with AI projections somehow. She had silenced Omega when she'd initially uppercut him into unconsciousness, and Texas had assumed he'd stayed silent since because she'd made him feel fear in that way. But if that wasn't the case...
"He's gone," Maud stated flatly. "The not-Dad that was not nice is gone."
Texas felt her eyes widen. "This is bad-" Before she could get another word out, she heard mechanisms shifting.
"What the Helheim?!" Sarge shouted out. "Why is the head moving?"
Looking up, Texas saw the head of the MAUD cannon turn towards her, eyes glowing as energy gathered. Without even thinking, she tossed Maud to the side as the mouth opened wide.
A blast of blue-white light erupted out of the mouth of MAUD, so bright that while it lashed out no one could see what had happened.
<"TEXAS!"> Church screamed out in despair. <"NO!">
"Church..." Texas voice whispered, sounding as though she was barely clinging to life. "The AI...Omega...he's gone...protect...Maud..."
When her voice - and the light - faded, all that was left behind were her boots, and a huge gouge in the ground where the beam had ripped it asunder.