3.
“So that was my first day here. Less than ten minutes and I was well on my way to be the first human to get jailed in another plane of existence,” I said to my cellmate, while I laid on one of the cots provided. I thought the time alone was torturous but at least it was productive. It let me spend sometime exploring what I had become, and I can tell you now that it is jarring to go from bipedal to quadrupedal. Everything changes about how you look at things simply because your perspective has shifted in relation to your body, and the loss of hands for hooves hardly seems fair at all. Not only am I bumping into things because I forget my body is three times longer than I am used to, I seem to be limited to palming things with the small space of flesh that is right at the bottom of my hoof. It is a singularly odd sensation. A several hours into this imprisonment, the local drunk, Punch Berry was shown into the cell beside me. This grape-coloured mare could be my first chance to really reach out to learn about pony ways and culture.
“Thatzzz a silly story,” she slurred back.
I was wrong.
With that time wasted, I flop back onto the fabulous cot that furbished the cell and look across the bars to her. “Yeah. I suppose it is,” I mused aloud, “Funny though. I was ready to be out of town for a week and now, I just want to get home so badly after a day.”
A snore was the response.
Sleep probably was not a bad idea, but everything in this world is making my mind start churning once more. Even the unfamiliar stars in the night sky were enough to make me worry. I never did call her. We could not even be looking at the same stars and moon. I really had no idea where I was, or how to get back. Will I ever see her again?
Those lodestones in my head were the ammunition against my resolve not to panic, and the dam shattered entirely. In moments, I went from staring at the great, unfamiliar moon in the sky to crying out all my frustrations. Actually, to tell the truth, I bawled like a lost calf, noisily and without shame about anyone that would see me in this state. I just could not bring myself to care about anything else but there was no catharsis in the act. It dragged on and on, venting the limitless supply of regrets and losses in the pit of my stomach. The bitter sobbing was so intense, I entirely missed the entrance of another pony into the cell.
“Thou look troubled. Perhaps for what thou hath wrought?”
There was no way to hide what I had been doing, or to even stop it right away. I was left choking down my emotion hard and reigning the outburst back in, with my back to the voice. At least she seemed patient with me, and gave me as long as I needed gather myself back up. Hooves are not good for wiping tears from one's face, but I took my time, until I slowly turned to face her.
As I looked over the navy and black pony in the cell with me, I was overwhelmed with a new emotion: Awe. I have lived my entire life saying things were 'awful' or 'awesome' but I was truly not using those word correctly. It was like Athena coming to my door one day to talk about how I blocked her driveway, Freya brushing past me in the super-market, or Coyote just being in my favourite restaurant enjoying a danish. In short, she was something so much greater than me, suddenly, in the flesh and in the same room with me. I have seen men and women in trappings that make them seem larger than life, but this being needed none of them. I did not need her name, or to see the jet regalia she wore. She simply was 'great'. The slice of the night sky she had for a mane that perfectly complimented the dark black and navy coat she had, her grandiose wings and mane all were impressive enough on their own. I was so struck by her nature, I missed how she was looking at me.
The expression was cold, yet her eyes moved over me curiously. It was like I was not what she expected. “Kerry von Kassel, as thy actions hath rendered my dear sister, Princess Celestia to a state of despair where she is incapable of action in this matter, thou shall defend thyself to me,” she stated. I mustered up all the courage and confidence I could manage in my spirit, but there was little in the way of reserves left. “I am Princess Luna, the Ruler of the Night and Co-Ruler of all of Equestria.”
“Of course. I would like to clear this...” Her stare silenced me.
“We art not thy friend, but the one that thou hurt was. Thou will refer to me as, Thy Royal Highness.” The stare did not lighten, and already, I was sinking quickly back towards tears and hopelessness.
“Of course, my Royal Highness,” I echoed as confidently as I could, wiping my face once more, “I meant no disrespect. I did not know who you were.”
The door unlocked after a dark aura surrounded it, and she lead the way, with no fear of turning her back to me. I doubt, even if I were inclined to try violence, that it would be nothing more than a fruitless gesture. “Though I doubt that thee had that much ignorance, thou doth know it now. And now that though dost know, do thy best not to forget. Now, please, come with us.” Her voice was one that barely hid an anger within. She was very much ready to vent that anger too.
“Your Highness,” I stammered as she lead me down the halls of the jail station, “Is the one I hurt alright? The last thing I wanted to do today is hurt anyone. Anypony.”
“Twilight Sparkle is alive,” she replies without bothering to look at me, “But, even our magic has limits. We must wait to see how grievous the injuries are.”
I never thought I would be so relieved to hear I 'only' maimed a being. This is quickly becoming the worst day of my life if that was to be the high point of it.
The halls were the ones that lead to a secure room that Officer cuffed used to get my story earlier in the day. Not much about it changed, except for the familiar set of tools laid over the table, as well as my laptop, books and clothing.
“These art thy possessions?” she said after she took a moment to look over the collection, then back to me. I nodded. “Some of these things, we do recognize. Others, we do not. Thy weapons, for example.” She motioned towards some my tools at that point, “Seem unwieldy for an earth pony. And they are inscrutable in their use. Very much like the red steel beast that thou rode in on, when thou struck Twilight Sparkle. I canst understand how to spur it.”
“Your Royal Highness,” I said as I pushed my tired brain to work on what I would say and how to say it, “M-may I speak freely?
She nods slightly. “You may, but watch thy tongue and if we hath a query for thee, be fleet in thy answer.”
“Then you know, I claim to be human.”
She nods again. “Yes, though there is no such thing or record of even stories of them.” I can tell she is doubting me, or worse, thinking I am insane for even saying such things. All I can do now though is put my fears aside and just try and explain myself, and hope she understands. Even now, I am so nervous, I am shaking before the Goddess.
“F-fair enough. I hope, Your Highness, that I can convince you of that part too. For starters, these are not weapons, but simply tools. All of them are for working metal. Back home, I had hands, not hooves, and could carry these things. The last one you pointed to, is a saw. A portable, electric saw. I could hold it and cut metal and wood with it.”
I can see she was doubting the explanation. If only there was some way she could see a human, and it would make so much more sense. Then, inspiration struck me. “May I get something from my wallet there?” The night goddess nodded slightly though had an obvious look of distaste on her face.
“Is that hide?” she asks as her eyes narrow at me. I did not even consider that might be taboo before I reached for it, and now, I brought her full attention upon it.
“Y-yes. But, it is not as bad as it looks, Your Highness. Back home, bovines are not like us. They are just animals,” I explained quickly, “We treat them well enough but.” I trail off. “I will try to explain but just forgive the leather for now. I need to show you this.”
My hoof slid across the table to the leather thing and flip it open and I quickly found that it is hard getting a driver's license out with hooves, as well as the picture of myself with my girlfriend we took in one of those photo-booths, but the widening eyes of Luna say they at least got her attention. A dark aura surrounds both and holds them up as she looks between the too.
“Thou art one and the same as this ape, thing. As this 'human'?” she asks as she must be noting the similarities between the pictures and myself.
This might be the first good thing all day to happen to me. “Yes. That's me.”
She squints at the picture, then at me. Her nose wrinkles up and her attention shifts back to the photo once more. I think there is a law about any government identification looking flattering and I think she is noticing that is the case right now. Finally, after the long assessment is done, she states, “Thy looks are much improved now.”
I really hoped that was a joke. “To be honest, Your Highness, I miss my hands and I think my eyes are too big now.” She nearly smiles, and I in turn, feel much relief. But then, she simply sighs.
“So, thou art really a victim of circumstance,” she says and she almost deflates in that moment. “We. No, I wanted to hate thee. To punish thee for what happened. Twilight is our newest true friend and ally. Doth thou comprehend?” As odd as it is to see something as powerful as Luna in the first place, it is a far stranger thing to see a god stoop to humility in such an admission. Her eyes turn downward and her mane ceased to flow. I would later learn, that for a moment, the stars went out and moon ebbed away from the sky as she considered this revelation.
“I have never been in your shoes,” I reply quietly, “But I understand. I want to go home, but I want things to be right too. Is there anything I can do?”
She looks up at me. “Yes. Come with me to see her. Thou should see the results of this so thou might understand the feelings that we hath for you.”
How could I say no to such a request?
===================
Before we left, I asked Princess Luna if there was anything I could bring as an olive branch to the one I injured, and was told that she is a voracious lover of literature. I decided to go with the classics I had with me; Watership Down and The Shadow over Innsmouth. They were both favourites of mine, and could not see anypony not enjoying them. They were now in a borrowed saddle bag that we got from Officer Cuffs, though he did not look happy at all about my apparent release. It felt a little like a backpack, though it felt odd in how the weight laid entirely on the mid of my back and not my shoulders.
The town at night was peaceful. One might say it looked like a painting of a town from a simpler time, but I did notice the electric lights they seemed to have between the candles and lanterns. This place was on the cusp of true industrialization, I suspected, and more than that, I kind of hoped that I might be able to plug my electronics in here. I digress though. The shops were closed, carts in the market cleared of goods, only the odd window had a light in it, and Luna and I were the only ones walking the streets. The sleepy village was so serene under a perfect (but unfamiliar) night sky that one could not help but relax and let the calm sink in. And with a little bit of calmness came curiosity. “Your highness,” I finally got out, breaking the silence, “I have noticed that there seems to be four types of ponies and well, I seem to be in the lowest class of pony. Is there a hierarchy I should be aware of?”
She actually had to stop and she looks back at me. “We do not understand what speak of? Hierarchy of ponies? Classes?”
“Well, you are obviously in the highest class I have seen,” I explain, “With wings and magic. Then you have the unicorns and pegusi, right? Then you have the normal ones. No magic. No flight. Back home, if another race had actual power over another, it would not be long before such things would become a legal issue.”
She looked at me with concern. “We understood that there was just humans where you hail from. Is this now not true?”
For a moment, I felt like I should leave her in ignorance of human racial relations but something about lying to the goddess that wanted to find a reason to hate me seemed like a very poor idea. “Well, it is just humans, yes, but we pick anything we could for a long time to say that we were the best. Nationality, religion and things like skin colour are more common than we really like to admit.”
“It is not here, Kerry. All ponies are equal here, whether they are a earth ponies, pegasus or unicorn. They all are imbued with magic, as well. It is not as obvious for earth ponies, but the others can not match their strength and connection to the land,” she explained as she motioned for me to walk along side her with a flick of her wing. “It seems odd to be so discriminatory amongst thy peers. Is that common? Is that what it means to be human?”
That question had a scathing commentary for what I was, and it was my time to reflect on what seemed to be a scathing commentary on my native race. Here was a world made of at least four definitively different race, and yet they were surprised to hear about racism. “Well,” I started with an explanation forming within my mind, “I guess it comes right down to what we are. You here, in this land, are ponies. I would suspect that you were herd animals before you were building and truly thinking. That means, you all relied on one another tightly for protection. Danger brought you together as a group.
“With us humans, I suspect it was different. We were social but we, at our core, were scavengers and simply the littlest little things around in a harsh environment where predators were common. We saw anything outside of our group as a risk. Anyone that was not in the troop was a threat because they'd eat our food and bring predators prowling. We got mean, cynical, distrusting and xenophobic in a hurry.” I was not sure xenophobic was the right word, but then again, I was making first contact with another species right now. Maybe I should avoid making us sound like a pile of paranoid savages. “Not to say we do not care for one another. We do. Just, we as a whole, are quick to draw up lines in the sand whenever we feel someone is going to take advantage of us.”
As for the goddess's reaction, she did not have one. She just listened to my words and hummed at the end to confirm she heard me, and left it at that. “Come then,” she said at that point, “The hospital art not far from here.” Maybe I was too forward with my description of humanity and that is why the conversation was dropped. She was right though about how far alone we were. Even though I was pretty new with the four hooves thing, we were making pretty good time. Maybe ponies were just quick.
A ridiculously stereotypical hospital was coming into view against the night sky after one final turn. Only way to picture it is to say, “Picture a white, small-town hospital. There. You are done.” Luna was quick to usher me to the front door, past the vestibule and into the the front foyer, where a white mare was sitting behind a desk. She had on a familiar style of nurses hat and I quirked internally at the odds of such a thing. In fact , so much about this world seemed to be triggering nostalgia in me with their familiar forms. Why would a pony put a loop for a finger on a coffee mug, like the one that sat at the desk. Why did so many doors have knobs? Something was not clicking at all with me, but before I could dwell on that too long, the princess spoke.
“We need to see Twilight Sparkle. T'is important, Nurse Redheart,” she whispers. Oddly enough, when she whispers, she loses nothing of the divine nature of her voice.
The nurse looks up fro her desk and she nods. “Of course, Princess. Just keep in mind that there are those here than need their rest. Twilight included,” she replies calmly to the apparent-deity. This makes me raise my eyebrows in surprise. There was no bowing to, nor series of praise for Luna from the nurse. Just a respectful tone that one would expect for any client. Is seeing somepony like Luna common place in this world?
I never did get a chance to really ask before I was accosted by pink. With a grim expression and a razor straight mane-cut (Is that the right term?) as serious as her eyes, the dark grey-pink mare shoved nose to nose against me. For every step I took back towards the door, she took two forward. “We do NOT want you here, Meanie McMeanerson!” she hissed at me. I did not know ponies could sound that way. Even Cuffs, who very clearly did not like me, never neared such a threatening tone with me. And he definitely never made me rear up onto two hooves against a wall like this smaller pink mare did.
“Pinkamena!” Luna was quick to come to my rescue, but I was already jammed against the door from those psychotic blue eyes that seem to be drilling into my soul. If looks could kill, I would be gone and buried already. At least the commanding whisper from the Princess pulled the angry mare back from me a bit. “Thou will leave the stallion alone! He hath come to make amends for what happened!”
The mare did not like that at all, but she stepped back slowly without so much as blinking. I was captivated by pitiless, blue points of hatred for me, even from several paces away. “Okie. Dokie. Lokie.” she finally grumbled, and looked away from me and to the princess, “But, I do not have to be his friend.” She said those words as if those were the greatest insult possible, but was glad to feel the instant relief of being away from the wall and back on fours. It was not enough to stop my heart from racing at what Pinkamena could be capable of. That pink mare could be the thing of a nightmare if she were unrestrained and focused on you.
“Are any of the other Elements here, Pinkie Pie?” Luna asked next, quite obviously cutting me out of the exchange by stepping between me and the object of my current terrors.
“Applejack and Rarity had to go home 'cause they gotta work tomorrow,” the pink mare replied as she once more tried to fix me with that gaze. “Fluttershy fell asleep in the room because she was crying so super hard all day. Rainbow is up in the sky working the night-time clouds. She said she needed to blow off some steam.” Finally, the game between Luna and Pinkie ended as the princess reached out with her hoof and laid it upon the mare's cheek to stop the constant fencing with lines-of-sight.
“I understand that thou art upset with this stallion Pinkie. But after speaking with him, it seems to be nought but a terrible mistake. While thou hath not like him, I do ask that thou not harass him,” she chided with a voice of infinite patience. While that did not solve the entire issue, the mare did bow down her head down and choke a whimper back.
“Y-yes Princess. I am going to go home. Maybe I'll be feeling more Pinkie and less Pinkamena tomorrow. Buuuut, he is still NOT getting a party!” she retorted finally with a tremble in her voice and then she walked for the door. I do not think Luna saw it but that one last glare I was given by her was enough to chill blood and shatter wills. Hannibal Lector would of been proud.
My body did not get nearly enough time to thaw before Luna spoke again. “Come on, Kerry. The room is this way.” Once again, I was just following blindly along behind her, and the lump in my throat grew with every step along the hallway. The sign saying “Intensive Care” did nothing to help my worries at all.
“She will recover, I think,” she reassured rather ineffectively, “But thou can see it for yourself. We are here.”
I looked at the door in front of me, steeled my nerves and pushed in to see how bad everything really was.