//------------------------------// // Piece of Cake // Story: Here Comes the Sun // by JapaneseTeeth //------------------------------// Twilight stared in displeasure at the enormous cylinder of cheese that sat on the library floor.  It looked a little bit bigger every time she looked at it.  Apparently, it was smoked Gouda, not that it made her job any easier. “What am I supposed to do with this?” She mumbled to herself. “Eat it?” Spike suggested. “With some crackers, maybe?” “Seriously? Not even you could eat that whole thing! Besides, do you have any idea what eating so much cheese can do to your digestive tract? It isn’t pleasant.” “I wasn’t talking about just you.” Spike sniffed at the cheese. “I mean, we’re hosting a festival with hundreds of ponies coming in. And we’re feeding them. Doesn’t the problem kinda solve itself?” “But we already have the menu set.  They’ve been working on it all day. You can’t just throw hundreds of pounds of cheese into a meal and expect it to work.” “Make it an hors d’oeuvre then?” he suggested. “I don’t get what’s so hard about this.” “That might work,” Twilight examined the cheese. “Of course, we’d still have to take the time to cut up this entire thing into bite-sized pieces, find a sufficient number of crackers, and then actually setting them all out. Maybe if we started now we’d be able to finish by…” She did some quick mental calculations. “Tomorrow morning. Yeah, that won’t work.” She sighed and slumped over on the cheese. “Why would Luna decide to bring this now of all times?  We have to do something with it! It’s a royal gift; she’d be offended if we don’t use it.” “Wait! I’ve got it!” Spike hopped up on top of the cheese and posed proudly. “Equestria’s biggest Grilled Cheese Sandwich!” Twilight raised an eyebrow. “Do you realize just how wide the sandwich would have to be to actually get it to melt the whole way through?  You’d have a sandwich that would be twenty feet on each side! Do you think that Ponyville has a loaf of bread that big?  Not to mention that it would be enough to make something like two thousand sandwiches.  Maybe if that were the only meal we could get rid of it, but in addition? We’d never get rid of it all. Besides, do you want to be the one to cut this thing up into sandwich sized chunks.” Spike snorted and climbed off the cheese. “I was just trying to come up with ideas.” “I know, I know.” Twilight sighed. “I’ll worry about the cheese later. I need to go check up on everypony.” “No no no, you’re still coming in a bit late.” Fluttershy's eye twitched. She had just learned a new rule about choir directing: with the addition of each new voice, the likelihood of one of them missing a cue increased exponentially. It felt like that, at least. Maybe doubling the number of birds had been a bad idea. “Remember, the robins need to come in halfway through the blue jay’s line.  Let’s start again at measure thirty-two. One, two, three, four-” The birds began to sing. For the first few seconds, the music sounded lovely. Then the harmony was shattered by a loud noise halfway between a snort and a sneeze.  The birds immediately broke into squawking. “Quiet down! Shhh!” Fluttershy waggled a hoof at the birds as they began to settle. “Did any of you make that sound?” The birds shook their heads. “Then where did it come from?” The choir pointed in the general direction of a single tiny cloud that hung in the otherwise blue sky. “Of course,” Fluttershy sighed. “Wait here. I’ll be right back.” She flew over to the cloud, and sure enough, Rainbow Dash was splayed over it, emitting surprisingly loud sounds. “I should’ve known,” Fluttershy whispered. She pushed gently on the side of the cloud, scooting it through the sky. With luck, Rainbow Dash wouldn’t notice that her favored napping spot was being relocated. “Hey, what’s going on!?” Rainbow Dash flipped over. “What are you moving my napping cloud for?” Fluttershy sighed again. “Your…. um… snoring was disturbing the birds. I’m trying to rehearse for tonight.  I just thought I’d move your cloud a little further away.” “Aw c’mon! I spent like half an hour making sure that the location was perfect so that I could get a nice breeze!” She sat on the cloud and crossed her forelegs. “Why can’t you just move the birds?” “But you knew we were going to practice here,” Fluttershy said. “You could’ve napped anywhere else in Ponyville!” “I thought listening to your birds would help me fall asleep.” “Well, you definitely won’t be able to hear them if you’re going to snore like that. There’s no way we can rehearse with all that noise!” “My snoring isn’t that bad!” “Have you ever heard yourself snore before?” Fluttershy asked. “Well, no.” “Trust me,” she said. “Fine,” Rainbow Dash kicked the cloud grumpily. “I guess I can find someplace else to nap.” “Why do you need to nap so badly anyway? Don’t you have stuff to do?” “Gotta make sure I’m rested up for when I have to clear the sky.” She cracked her neck emphatically. “You know how it is.” Fluttershy looked to the sky, which was pure blue. “Um. What do you need to clear, exactly?” “Okay, there might not be any clouds now, but later on there are supposed to be some rolling in.  I have to be ready for anything.” Fluttershy resisted the urge to roll her eyes. “Well, as long as you’re ready somewhere where you aren’t disturbing the rehearsal.” “Yeah, yeah. Got it.” Rainbow Dash grabbed her cloud and fluttered into the distance, grumbling to herself all the way. Fluttershy watched her go, and satisfied that she had departed, returned to her birds. “Sorry about the disruption. We should be able to finish our rehearsal now.  Why don’t we just take it from the top?” “Ugh, now where am I supposed to sleep?” Rainbow Dash grumbled to herself as she dragged her cloud along.  The obvious solution was to just find a spot out in the Apple Family’s orchard somewhere. It was the only place in town not filled with hustle and bustle, and Applejack was probably still at Sugarcube Corner. And Big Macintosh never made noise. The Orchard would be perfect. She chose one of the fields in the back, furthest from the town.  Nopony would think to bother her there.  The fact that everything smelled like apples was a nice bonus.  She tucked her cloud between two of the branches and curled up on it.  She was just starting to nod off when the entire tree shuddered. “Whoa!” She rolled over, forgetting that she had perched her cloud in a tree.  She rolled into a branch and began to flail. “What’s going on!” She dropped out of the tree with a thud.  She opened her eyes, and Big Macintosh was looking down at her. “What happened?” “You fell out of the tree.” “I know that.” Rainbow Dash got to her hooves. “But why did you knock me out of it?” “We needed more apples!” Apple Bloom poked her head out of a nearby cart. “Takes a lot of ‘em to feed everypony. What’re you doin’ in our tree, anyway?” “I was taking a nap,” Rainbow Dash grumbled. “I guess I’ll find another tree.” “We weren’t plannin’ on usin’ any of the trees in that field over there,” Apple Bloom said. “You can go sleep over in those trees.” “I guess I’ll go over there, then.” Rainbow Dash grabbed her cloud and headed over to the trees that Apple Bloom had indicated.  They weren’t quite as secluded as she would’ve liked, but it would serve.  She tucked her cloud into the branches and settled in.  Almost perfect except for a single twig that was poking her in the flank. She snapped it off and tossed it to the ground. “That’s better.” For a second, things were quiet. “Wait a second, what’s that buzzing?” “Finally, we actually got something checked off,” Spike said as he made a mark on his scroll. “Yes, all of the tables are set up, and it looks like Roseluck, Daisy, and Lily have already finished up the centerpieces. All they need to do is actually put them on the tables, but they’re not going to do that until right before the festival starts.” Twilight took the scroll and examined it. “What’s next on the list?” Spike asked. “Sugarcube Corner,” Twilight answered. “Making sure that the cakes are ready.” “When you say ‘cakes’, do you mean like Mr. and Mrs. Cake, or the actual cakes?” “Both, I guess.” Twilight stowed the scroll in her saddlebag. “We need to know when the Cakes will be ready to take the cakes to Town Hall.” “Sure.” Spike scratched his head. “Although it looks like you might want to deal with that first?” “That? What’s that?” “Whatever the Mayor is galloping over here to tell you.” Spike pointed. “It’s probably important.” “Oh no!” Twilight galloped to meet her. “What is it!? Is everything okay? Is Luna alright? She needs something, doesn’t she? What can I do?” “The princess is fine,” the mayor answered, a little out of breath. “She’s still at town hall. I arranged for the various vendors to bring samples to assure that she approves of everything.” “So what’s the problem, then?” “Well-” Crackling fireworks that were mostly invisible against the bright sky cut her off. A distressingly familiar, though slightly flat, musical jingle followed the pops. “Oh no,” Twilight groaned. “The Grrrrreat and Powerful Trixie has returned!” A rickety-looking but well-decorated cart rattled down the road toward them, pulled by a blue unicorn. “Why is she here?” Twilight asked under her breath. “I have no idea,” the mayor whispered back. “I’m going to go check on Luna. You probably know how to handle this best, anyway!” She spun around and hurried back down the road without waiting for a response. “Hey, wait!” “The Grrrrrreat and Powerful Trixie has arrived!” Trixie declared a second time. Her cart shuddered as she released another explosion of fireworks. “I heard you the first time,” Twilight said, trying not to sound as grumpy as she felt. “What happened to being the Great and Apologetic Trixie?” Trixie flicked the tip of her mane. “Trixie can be both apologetic and powerful at the same time.” “I see. So what brings you to Ponyville?” “The Great and Powerful and also Apologetic Trixie desires to make up for her past misdeeds by putting on a free performance for the citizens of Ponyville. It would be certain to liven up the Summer Sun Celebration! This time, Trixie assures you that she will not involve audience members. That never ends well.” “Uh huh. First of all, can you just stop doing the whole third person thing?  I already know your name.” “Very well,” Trixie grumbled. “Second,” Twilight continued, “last time you were here, you used an ancient artifact to take over Ponyville, banish me, and spend the next few days tormenting the townsponies. Even if you’ve turned over a new leaf, I don’t think that it would go over very well.” “Trixie just… er, I just want to demonstrate to everypony that I have changed,” she said proudly. “I assure you I have no intention whatsoever of using any sort of dark magic artifact to put Ponyville inside a bubble. Or to cause any other sort of harm, of course. I only want to entertain everypony to make up for everything.” “And I suppose the publicity from being able to say you performed at the Summer Sun Celebration would just be a bonus?” “Yes,” Trixie nodded vigorously in a manner that indicated that she didn’t want Twilight to think she had already thought of that. “I see,” Twilight said flatly. “In that case, what makes you think this would even be possible? The Summer Sun Celebration was planned months ago, and the schedule has been set for like three weeks. Do you seriously think you can show up right before it starts and actually get to perform?” “Er. Maybe?” Twilight rolled her eyes. “Does the Great and Powerful Trixie get to perform, or not?” “There’s that third person thing again-” “Do I get to perform? Pleeeeeeeaaaassssee?” “Trixie, we don’t have a location, a stage, or a time.  Why don’t you just enjoy the Celebration and worry about performing later?” “But I came all this way!” Trixie whined. “I can use my cart for the stage, and I could be the warm-up act for all the ponies who arrive early! I promise I won’t use my magic on anypony.  Unless it’s something totally harmless like pulling a bit out of somepony’s ear.” “You need magic to pull that off?” Spike asked. Trixie just glared at him. Twilight massaged the side of her head. She was starting to get a headache and preparations were barely even getting started.  Even if she had turned over a new leaf, there was no way Trixie would take no for an answer. At least not from her… “How about this?” Twilight said. “Technically, I’m just supposed to be overseeing preparations. I’m not in charge of the schedule for the celebration itself.” “Oh,” Trixie’s face fell for a moment, then her eyes lit back up. “Could you tell Trixie, er, tell me who is in charge of the schedule?” Twilight fought the urge to grin maniacally. “Princess Luna.” “The… princess?” Trixie’s face made some weird motions as she tried to figure out whether to smile or frown. “Yes. I believe she’s over in Town Hall right now. If anypony could find a place for you in the schedule, it would be her. I can’t guarantee that she will, of course.” “Of course.” Trixie giddily pranced in place. “I’ll have Spike write you a note so that you can get an audience with her,” Twilight continued. “You realize that she’s quite busy right now, so please don’t waste her time.” “I most certainly will not!” Trixie plucked the note out of Spike’s claws before the ink had time to dry. “Trixie will remember this!” She galloped down the road towards Town Hall. “Hey, wait!” Twilight shouted after her. “You need to move this cart out of the road!”  It was too late. Trixie was already out of earshot. “Figures.” Twilight grumbled. “Come on, let’s get this thing out of the way.  And remind me to have the mayor put a ticket on it.” “Do you think it was a good idea to send her to Princess Luna?” Spike said as he helped Twilight drag the cart, which had only one good wheel, off to the side of the road. “Of course!” Twilight said proudly. “It solved all of our problems! Trixie obviously wasn’t going to listen to me, but if there’s anypony she’ll actually listen to, it’s one of the Princesses.  Princess Luna wouldn’t put up with her nonsense. Sure, I don’t want to pester Luna with anything, but we have things to do, and I can’t stand here and argue with Trixie all afternoon. Luna can just call the guards if Trixie starts wasting her time. Speaking of which, what is the next thing on our schedule?” Spike examined the scroll. “Pinkie should be finishing up with the cakes right about now.” Rainbow Dash winced as she finished dabbing the ointment on the bee stings that now covered her flank.  Hundreds of trees in the orchard, and she picked the one branch that happened to be next to a hive.  She’d have to have a talk with Fluttershy about moving them somewhere. But not now. Right now, she needed to relax a little bit and get some rest.  She put the ointment away and started to try to think of another place to nap where she wouldn’t be disturbed.  As she stumbled out of the bathroom she almost tripped over her bed. “Duh…” she muttered to herself. She had already dragged her house over an empty field near the outskirts of town, far away from the preparations. Nopony would bother her here. She wanted to kick herself for not thinking of that sooner. She flopped into bed and began to doze off. Then the voices started. “Yes! This field will be just perfect for the Great and Powerful Trixie to hold her performance!” What is she doing here? Rainbow Dash thought. There’s no way that Twilight would let her set up here… “I thought it would be ideal,” said a second voice. Even though it was only speaking, it was still so loud that it sounded like it were right next to Dash’s bed. “It is true that the main preparations for the Celebration are not yet complete, but it is likely there will be many attendees who will arrive early. They will need to be entertained.” Princess Luna. Nopony else talks that loud. Rainbow Dash buried her head in her pillow. “The Great and Powerful Trixie will entertain them! She thanks you for the opportunity to demonstrate her regret.” “Think nothing of it. I know full well how difficult it can be to atone for one’s past misdeeds. I only ask that you make the most of this opportunity.” “The Great and Powerful Trixie fully intends to, Princess Luna. Trixie would be honored if you could attend one of her performances.” Ugh… Rainbow Dash put her head under the pillow. It didn’t help. “I would love to. In fact, if it is possible, I will bring my sister along as well. I am sure that she would enjoy it very much. But for now, I must return to my other duties. I trust you have everything you require inside your cart?” “Of course. I will see you at my performance! And thank you once again for this opportunity.” “Think nothing of it. And now I must be off.” Finally, she’s gone. Rainbow Dash relaxed. Without those two shouting at each other, I can finally get some- An out-of-key cacophony of horns, whistles, and drums blared from below, so loudly that it made the bed tremble. What the- She fearfully poked her head out from under the covers. “No no no!” Trixie was saying to herself. “This simply will not do! The Great and Powerful Trixie’s fanfare cannot be out of tune! Fortunately, there is plenty of time to retune everything!” The fanfare played again, just as loudly and only slightly less out of tune. “It must be more damaged than I thought,” Trixie continued, talking to herself much more loudly than necessary. “I suppose Trixie must tune each component individually!” The fanfare played again. This time it got worse. “How annoying,” Trixie grumbled. “If this keeps up, I won’t even have enough time to test-fire my pyrotechnics!” Up in the cloud house, Rainbow Dash began to beat her head on her pillow. “It looks like Applejack is right on schedule with the pies,” Spike said as he examined the cart that sat outside Sugarcube Corner. It was already stacked high with boxes of baked goods. “That’s a good sign!” Twilight said, smiling broadly. “Although I wonder where Applejack is. If she’s done with the pies I wonder why she hasn’t brought them to Town Hall yet?” “Maybe she’s helping Pinkie before she goes,” Spike suggested. “I bet that’s it,” Twilight said. “Come on, let’s go in.” She pulled the door open, releasing a massive cloud of powdered sugar. It instantaneously settled onto her coat and began to clump. “I really should’ve seen that coming,” she said with a sigh. Spike gave her a smug grin and brushed the sugar off of his scales.  Twilight just snorted and began picking what she could out of her mane.  Then another puff of sugar blasted her in the face with such force that she rolled backward out the door. “Whoopsie!” said a voice from above her. Pinkie. “I told you we shoulda checked to make sure there was nopony outside,” said another voice, obviously Applejack’s. “At least we got the kitchen cleaned up!” Pinkie answered. “Just a sec and I’ll have Twilight nice and clean!” “Wait just a second,” Twilight protested. “Don’t-” “Hold on tight!” Pinkie said. A strong gust of air blasted into Twilight, who braced herself against the ground. The force of the air drove her back, her hooves grinding furrows into the dirt. “There we go!” Twilight opened her eyes to see Pinkie grinning at her, leaning on a massive fan that looked like it might’ve been repurposed from an airship engine. “I told you I’d get that sugar off!” Pinkie said. Applejack peered cautiously out the door. “Well, you got most of it.” “What do you mean most?” Twilight asked, cocking her head to the side. Spike stifled a giggle. “Your mane!” “What about my mane?” “It’s… uh…” Applejack chewed on her lip. Twilight felt at the back of her head and groaned. Her mane was somehow sticking straight out behind her, held in place by a sugary crust.  She turned to look at her tail. “Ow!” Spike rubbed his head. “Watch where you’re pointing that thing!” “Pinkie, what is this?” “It’s an experiment!” Pinkie announced. “Why are you doing an experiment?” “Pinkie was trying to apply the principles of rock candy production to frosting,” said a flat voice from inside. The head of a mare with a gray coat and pale lavender mane appeared in the door. “It seems that the aerosolized sugar was subject to rapid crystallization when it came into contact with your mane.” “Uh, Pinkie, who is this?” “This is my sister, Maud!” Pinkie bounced to the door and dragged her sister, who showed no surprise, over to the door. “She came all the way down here just to see me! And also look at rocks.” “I’ve heard reports that Ponyville has unique levels of strata,” Maud said. “I’m going to collect some data to use in my research.” “She’s working on her Rocktorate!” Pinkie said proudly. “That’s great,” Twilight said. “It really is. But I have a lot to do and I just wanted to make sure that the pies and cakes are ready to go.” “Pies are all loaded up and ready to go to Town Hall.” Applejack said. “I was just about to head over there.” “And the cakes?” Twilight asked hopefully. “The cakes are done, and they look great!” Pinkie bounded over Twilight’s head and landed behind her. She spun around and began to shove her into the bakery.  “And they taste great, too! Don’t worry, we didn’t eat any of the actual cakes.” “They’re amazing!” Twilight said. The cakes did look wonderful. She might be overenthusiastic, but when it came to baking, Pinkie was still a professional. The colors matched, and the frosting patterns were surprisingly intricate, almost like something Rarity might’ve done. And there was no doubt that they’d taste great. That was never a question. The only problem was… “They’re… bigger than I expected.” “Oh, right. About that…” Applejack cleared her throat. “We did run into a bit of an issue with the cakes. Well, the cakes themselves are fine, but…” Twilight groaned. “I should’ve known it wouldn’t be that easy. What’s the problem?” Pinkie giggled nervously. “I may have, kinda, sorta, made the cakes too big to get out the door.” “Too big?” “Yeah, the cakes are too wide for the door,” Applejack said. “We’ve tried every angle, but there’s no way they’re gettin’ through there. The only real option is to, er, enlarge the door.  My family can repair it for ‘em lickety-split after the celebration, but I doubt they’d be happy about it, and I ain’t doin’ nothing until I get their okay.” Twilight’s eye almost twitched itself off of her face. “There aren’t any other ways we could get it out?” “Well, Pinkie’s sister offered to dig a tunnel out, but we agreed it wouldn’t work. We couldn’t agree why it wouldn’t work, but we agree that it wouldn’t.” “Why would you disagree on that?” Spike asked. “Maud could totally dig a tunnel big enough for the cakes to go through!” Pinkie interrupted. “It would be like, super easy! I just don’t want to get dirt on the cake when we take it through the tunnel!” “Nopony is gonna be able to dig a tunnel that big that quickly without causin’ a cave-in!” Applejack retorted. “I’ve dug enough basements to know that. Maybe if you did it out in a field, but not under a building! You’d bust a hole right through Sugarcube Corner’s foundation!” “Pffft! Maud could dig a tunnel through anything!” Pinkie answered, sticking her tongue out. “You’ve just never seen her dig before!” “It’s not about the diggin’, it’s about distributin’ the load!” Applejack stomped her hoof for emphasis. “We can’t risk destabilizin’ the whole place. Besides, it would mess up the floor anyway.” “Yeah, Mr. and Mrs. Cake wouldn’t be happy if we dug a hole in their kitchen,” Pinkie said. She paused. “I guess we’ll just have to knock down a wall then.” “It would be easier to do that then to repair the foundation,” Applejack said. “I guess we could blow out the bit between the window and the door. That’ll take the least fixin’. I’ll have to go find one of the Cakes to make sure they’ll let us do it.” “This is ridiculous,” Twilight grumbled to herself. “Yeah, seriously,” Spike added. “Especially since Twilight could just ‘poof’ the cakes outside with her magic anyway.” Applejack and Pinkie Pie looked at each other. Twilight looked back and forth at them. Maud looked at a chunk of quartz that the Cakes had been using as a doorstop. “Fine,” Twilight grunted. “But this is just a one-time thing so you don’t have to knock down the wall.  Next time, I’m not bailing you out. Now be quiet. I have to concentrate.” Twilight’s horn began to glow. A second later, so did the cakes.  The sparkling aura grew stronger and stronger, and suddenly vanished, taking the desserts with it. “There. Is there anything else you need me to help with?” She glared at Applejack and Pinkie, wordlessly daring them to make a request. “No? Good. Now, get those cakes to Town Hall and we’ll see what we can do from there. I’ve got to go finish my rounds.”  She spun around and began to head out the door. “Uh, Twilight?” Twilight bristled at the sound of Applejack’s voice, but still stopped. “Yes?” “Where did you teleport the cakes to?” Twilight froze. “Oh, no.”