A Perfect Wonderbolt Group Photo

by Marwile

3 Hours – Photo Taken

The Wonderbolts, proper and cadets, were eating lunch in their cafeteria. It has been a relatively calm day so far and all of them were enjoying this seemingly undestroyable peace.

Spitfire, captain of the Wonderbolts, opened the doors with a loud bang (putting extra force into the bang to gain immediate attention).

“Attention, everypony!” she shouted anyways, “I know it’s surprising and on short notice, but due to unforeseen circumstances we have to advance the appointment for the group-photo. The photo will be made today at 3 pm sharp to be exact. Of course I want every Wonderbolt present in clean uniforms for a perfect photo. Sadly I’ll have some important paperwork to do today, and I really don’t want to do this… I really really don’t want to do this, but I have to put my trust in all of you being able to handle yourselves for a few hours without me supervising. I mean, the only thing that has to be done is helping the photographer set up equipment. She will be here at 2 pm. I’m looking forward to a perfect Wonderbolt-group photo… You know what happens otherwise. And if you don’t, consider yourself lucky. And it goes without saying, but attendance is mandatory for everypony. And again, I really hope you can do this without me.”

Spitfire left the hall, again with a bang for added emphasis.

The proper Wonderbolts broke out into chaos and hysterics and started to run and fly around the hall without sense or direction. The confused cadets decided to just observe for the next five minutes.

Sky Stinger, one of the cadets, was finally fed up with the chaos.

“Can somepony please explain to us what’s going on?” he threw into the room.

It did actually help as the others slowly started to stop.

“Oh, you don’t know… It’s your first time,” Soarin took the task of answering. “You have to know, Spitfire is a perfectionist when it comes to these photos. She can get really angry if even only one thing is out of place. Sadly the last few years something always managed to go wrong. And with every failed year Spitfire is growing more frustrated. She must be really busy when she’s leaving everything to us. I really hope we don’t get a repeat of last year…”

The Wonderbolts shuddered.

“We have to make everything perfect for Captain Spitfire’s sake… and our health,” Soarin addressed everyone now. “And as the second-in-command it is my duty to take charge in these situations. First, we have to make sure everyone's here.” He quickly looked around. “Where are Rainbow Dash and Surprise?”

“Crash called in sick today, although I think she’s just simulating.”

“I’m pretty sure I saw Surprise somewhere.”

“That’s bad. Surprise might be up to one of her pranks today. Somepony has to find her. And somepony has to get Crash, too. Any volunteers?” No pony volunteered. “Alright, I’ll search for Surprise by myself. And… Vapor Trail, you’ll get Rainbow.”

“Why me?” the meek pegasus asked.

“Because you’re our fastest cadet and you’re already wearing your uniform.” And you're plain enough Spitfire might not even notice your absence.

She gave a determined salute and left the room.

“Next, Spitfire said, someone has to help the photographer set up. Thunderlane, take a cadet, like Sky Stinger here, and do that.” He ignored Sky Stingers attempts to retort. “Then, Misty Fly, Fleetfoot, make sure we have enough clean uniforms. The rest, take a shower and do your best to look as presentable as possible. Everypony has their task, now move out!”

Everyone left the cafeteria to do their job in Soarin’s plan.

Spitfire sat at her office table doing the dreaded paperwork.

Was it the right decision to leave everything to them? she asked herself. But I don’t have another choice… Who would have expected such a date mix-up?

She sighed. “I just hope this was the worst this day has to offer.”

Misty Fly threw all the uniforms in the washing machine. “Luckily we got the easiest task.”

“Wait,” Fleetfoot stopped her. “You can’t just throw them in like that. Did you check the pockets? Did you make sure there is nothing else in the machine? And we should wash a few more, just in case.”

Misty Fly gave her a flat stare for a few moments. Then she sighed. “Alright, let’s go the extra safe way.”

She emptied the machine again and they started checking each uniform one by one before putting them in.

Vapor Trail reached Dash’s cloud house. Without slowing down she flew into it… and flew out of the other side a few seconds later.

“She’s not here… At least she’s really not sick. But where could she be?” she voiced her thoughts out loud. “Wait, she’s friends with Princess Twilight. She surely knows where Rainbow is. But where does she live?” She looked around the landscape. “It’s probably the weird castle, that sticks out like a sore hoof.” After a sigh she flew into the direction of said castle.

“Finally the washing machine is running, now we can go and–”

“Wait! We have to stay and make sure nothing happens.”

Misty Fly gave her another flat stare. “Are you serious?”

“Yes, yes I am.”

“Both of us?”

“Of course.”

Misty Fly sighed again. This was going to be a long hour.

Vapor Trail landed before the castle, narrowly dodging a magic beam.

“What’s going on?”

A pink and a light blue unicorn approached her, “I’m sorry. I’m teaching Trixie a bit of magic and she tends to randomly shoot around when excited.”

“Trixie’s sorry, too.”

“Don’t worry, nothing happened,” Vapor Trail replied. “But do you maybe know where Princess Twilight, or better Rainbow Dash, are?”

“Oh, I think they went to Canterlot High,” the pink unicorn answered.

“Canterlot High?”

“It’s a school in an alternate dimension filled with weird monkeys,” the blue unicorn answered.

“Alriiight…” Vapor Trail was only slightly weirded out.

“Just go up the stairs and to the left, third door on the right, just jump through the magical mirror. It’s a bit weird at first, but you’ll get used to it. Once there, ask for Sunset Shimmer. She’ll help you.”

“Thanks… I guess… Oh, and maybe you should train magic at a safer place, like an open field.” Vapor Trail then ran into the castle.

“You think it was right to tell her?” Trixie asked.

“Yeah, she looked nice and we trust ponies here. Now come, she made a good point about where we should train.”

Fleetfoot and Misty Fly sat there in relative silence. Then the door opened.

“Have you seen Surprise?” Soarin asked.

“No,” both answered simultaneously.

He closed the door and silence reigned again.

Blaze was sitting around in the break room doing more or less nothing.

“What’re you doing here, Blaze? Don’t you have something to do for photo day?” a passing pegasus asked her.

“Already showered this morning, still had a clean uniform and I’m always perfectly styled,” the orange mare answered. “I’m prepared for the photo. So I can now just lie down and enjoy watching everypony else freak out. I love my life.”

Silver Zoom had just left his room to get a fresh uniform when the door beside him suddenly opened and he got pulled in.

“W-What’s going on?! High Winds? W-What are you doing?!”

Said mare was holding onto him as if for dear life. “I need your help! It’s very urgent.”

“Urgent?” Silver questioned. “What could be more important than pho– What’s that stench?”

High Winds pointed a hoof at an open box sitting in the room’s corner. “My mother send me her famous homemade pickles. I need to hide them where nopony can smell them so I can finally wash the stench out of my coat.”

“Why don’t you just throw them away?”

“But they’re tasty and I don’t want anypony to steal them. Plus, I fear they might knock out everypony in the academy just by their smell if I leave them unattended at an unsafe place.”

“Alright, that sounds dangerous,” Silver Zoom replied slightly scared. “But I think I know a safe place here. And please close the lid… if it even helps.”

Misty Fly made a loud groaning sound. “Why are we doing this? It’s just dirty uniforms spinning around in a washing machine! Nothing can go wrong!”

Fleetfoot averted her eyes.

“Huh?”

Fleetfoot took a deep breath. “I was responsible for the uniform-disaster two years ago.”

“W-What? You?”

“I too thought nothing could happen, so I left. Then the machine broke and ruined all uniforms. I don’t want this to happen again, so I’ll stay here. I hoped you’d be some nice company, but if you wanna go, you can go.” Fleetfoot looked down with a sad face.

“Wait, wait, I’ll stay, I’ll stay. I didn’t know how important this is for you. And I don’t want to risk anything now. Soooo… The uniform-disaster was your doing… Tell me everything!”

“Alright, but it’s a longer story.” Fleetfoot started to tell her story with Misty Fly listening intently.

Silver Zoom kicked the door to the small tool shed behind the academy open.

“Sweet Celestia! Even closed I think I’m gonna hurl. Are those mixed with rotten eggs?”

“Where do we put it?” High Wings seemed pretty unphased, probably due to being exposed to it for so long.

“Maybe up there?” Silver pointed at a high shelf. “The window might prevent this place from getting completely contaminated.”

They lifted the box up on the just big enough shelf. “You sure no one comes here?” High Winds asked.

“I’m pretty sure. And now…” Silver took a sniff at himself. “... another shower.”

Soarin stopped with heavy breathing. He was growing anxious after already searching the whole area and still finding no hint of Surprise.

“Calm down,” he told himself. “Think of the detective novels Miss Rarity recommended you. Did Surprise mention what she planned for today? Are there any places I haven’t searched?”

He had a realization and raced forward with a clear goal in mind.

Spitfire sighed again. She found it hard to focus on her work with everything that was going on. In an attempt to distract herself she pulled open one of her drawers and took out a picture frame. The photo in it was old and crumbled and depicted a very young Spitfire alongside an even younger unicorn filly.

“Just once I want this to work…”

“Alright, enough feelings for today. Back to work,” Spitfire told herself and put the picture away.

“Oh, the machine is done,” Fleetfoot noticed.

“What? Already? You aren’t even halfway done with the story.”

“We’ll just quickly put them in the dryer and then I’ll continue.”

So they stuffed as many uniforms into the dryer as possible and turned it on. Unfortunately there were still some left.

“Seriously, why is the washing machine bigger than the dryer that doesn’t make sense?” Misty Fly wondered.

“At least we stuffed in more than necessary. There are some clotheslines right outside. Come on. Or don’t you want to hear the rest of my story?” Fleetfoot teased.

“Oh, I do,” she responded and grabbed the pile of wet clothes.

Soarin opened the doors to the kitchen adjacent to the cafeteria and to his relief found Surprise looming over a batch of pies.

“Whatever you’ve planned, Surprise, stop right now!” Soarin demanded.

“You’re too late now, Soarin, and nothing you could do or say will stop me and my hair removal pies,” Surprise announced dramatically.

“Today is photo day.”

Surprise dropped the pie she was holding like a hot potato. “W-What? But I thought I still have a week. The manes would have grown back by that point. Believe me, I don’t want a repeat of four years ago.”

“I know. There was a mix-up and they advanced it to today. I’m just glad nothing worse happened.” He let himself lie down on a nearby bench. “I need a break.”

“Was finding me so hard?”

“It was stressful. Spitfire’s busy, so it kinda fell to me as the second-in-command to coordinate everything. And just that feeling of not knowing if you’re relying on the right ponies is draining. And Spitfire has to go through this all the time”

“Mhm. I see,” Surprise said as she sat down beside Soarin, now wearing glasses and holding a pen and a clipboard in her wings. “But I feel like there’s more. What’re you trying to accomplish by taking over her duties?”

“I just want everything to go right once. For Spitfire’s sake, too. She doesn’t show it, but she only means well. That and some personal reasons. And as second-in-command and probably the closest this workaholic-slash-daredevil has to a best friend I see it as my job to be mediator and help to achieve the best possible outcome for everypony.”

“Yes, very interesting. And now tell me about your mother.”

Misty Fly and Fleetfoot finished hanging up the uniforms.

“Now that they’re hanging here I’m not so sure anymore. Isn’t this the field where we usually make the photo?” Fleetfoot asked uncertain.

“I don’t think we have to worry about that. They should be just far enough away to not be on the photo. Like that old tool shed there on the other side,” Misty Fly assured her. “And now we go back, watch wet clothes spinning in circles and you tell me the rest of your story.”

They walked back in a good mood.

The photographer was already waiting, when Thunderlane and Sky Stinger approached. “Finally! Zere you are. I’m sure your captain told you, but my assistants aren’t here and I don’t have much time today… actually this whole month.”

“Photo Finish, it’s good to see you’re doing the picture this year again,” Thunderlane greeted friendly.

Sky Stinger wasn’t as polite. “Why is a she doing that? Isn’t she a celebrity or something?”

Photo Finish took that personal. “Vat? Just because I’m famous I’m not allowed to follow my passion in ze way I want? I’ll let you know zhat in my free time I’m also doing child’s birthdays and the pictures on convenience food packages. And now hop hop, you’ll carry my equipment while I’ll find a good place to make the photo.” Sky Stinger wilted under her (what he assumed was under the glasses) glare.

Thunderlane just sighed.

“Hey, what time is it?”

“Quarter past two.”

“Thanks.”

“Zis place is perfect!”

Sky Stinger and Thunderlane dropped the equipment on the ground. Both sighed in relief.

“Alright, I’ll set up the camera while you two carry the bench over there.”

While Thunderlane took it in stride, Sky Stinger groaned.

“Thanks, Surprise. That was surprisingly relaxing.” Soarin rose from his lying position on the bench. “Made me a bit hungry, too.” He took a cake from the table and was about to bite into it.

“Wait! This pie is anti-mane!” Surprise warned.

Soarin stopped and held the pie as far away as possible. “We have to hide these things somewhere. At least until the photo is over.”

“I know the perfect place. Just take as many as you can carry and follow me!”

“A bit to ze left!”

“We’re just carrying it back and forth,” Sky Stinger complained.

“Come on, rookie, stop whining like a colt, we’re nearly done,” Thunderlane tried to motivate him.

“Now a bit more to ze right!”

“Why even this heavy wood bench? We’re pegasi. We can fly or just build one out of clouds.”

They heard a gasp from Photo Finish. “Zhat’s a great idea! Now get rid of zis bench!”

“Me and my big mouth…” Sky Stinger grumbled.

The two decided to carry the bench into a close tool shed. Though the overpacked shed put them before a new problem.

“And where do we put this thing? We can’t just leave it in the middle and block the door… I think.”

“Maybe…” Thunderlane scanned the small room. “...There!”

He chose a spot close to the wall. They managed to balance the bench by leaning it on some other equipment.

“Are you sure this will hold? Looks a bit like a big seesaw to me.”

“It’s only temporary. And now come, we still got work to do and this place smells like pickles.”

“‘Petition to change the color of the uniforms into rainbow’... Good to see Crash finally settled in,” Spitfire rolled her eyes. Then she threw the paper away.

Soarin and Surprise carried the cakes into a tool shed behind the academy.

“I’m sure they haven’t seen us. By the way, Surprise, good idea with this tool shed,” Soarin said.

“Yeah, nopony ever comes here. The cakes should be safe here, just stack them on the equipment, like this bench here.”

“And then we just have to hope everypony else makes it,” Soarin commented.

“Come on, believe in us. The Wonderbolts are reliable,” Surprise tried to cheer him up.

“You planned to throw hair removal pies at everyone,” Soarin responded dryly.

“Touch.”

“That’s not how you say it.”

“I’ve heard it both ways. By the way, maybe we should clean up the kitchen, too.”

“Yes, we should,” Soarin sighed.

Vapor Trail appeared back in the castle through the mirror and was quickly followed by Rainbow Dash.

“That was weird!” Vapor Trail announced with wide eyes.

“My first visit to the human world cut short for photo day! Just my luck…” Rainbow grumbled.

“We have to get to the academy as fast as possible. You still need a fresh uniform. And on the way back you can tell me the story why a princess has a portal to another world where a former student of Celestia lives in.” They flew up to the closest window and left through it.

“Don’t worry, I’ve got half a dozen clean uniforms at home.”

“Why?”

“You never know when you have to brag.”

“On that topic, these ‘humans’ have some weird problems with their clothes. I mean they complained about my look although, if I understand right, my skin tight uniform covered all important points.” Vapor Trail tried to suppress a blush. And it felt surprisingly good…

“Y-Yeah, I-I have no idea either…” Rainbow hid a blush, too. Really didn’t leave much to the imagination.

“A bit to ze left!”

“And now we’re moving clouds back and forth,” Sky Stinger complained.

“It was your idea to use clouds,” Thunderlane snarked back.

“To sit, not as flying decorations!”

“Now a bit to ze right!”

Sky Stinger grumbled something under his breath.

Just when they had finished setting up, the first ponies appeared for the photo and after only a few moments nearly everyone was there, including Spitfire.

“I have to say, Soarin, it looks like you all pulled it off,” the captain actually praised. “Equipment, uniforms and every– Where’s Crash?”

“Oh… She’s just… taking a quick toilet break! She said we can already start without her,” Soarin lied.

“Alright, I’ll take your word for it.” She scanned the crowd suspiciously. “Is somepony else missing?” she shouted.

Sky Stinger opened his mouth, but Misty Fly quickly shut it with her hoof and answered, “Everypony’s here!”

Rainbow Dash and Vapor Trail, now both in uniform, were flying at high speed towards the academy.

“We’re not gonna make it in time!” Vapor shouted against the wind.

“There’s still one more way! Hold on tight! We’re gonna do a Rainboom!”

The Wonderbolts stood at attention before the camera, each trying to blink as few as possible.

*BOOM*

Nearly everyone looked at the source of the rainbow explosion.

“Look into the camera!” Spitfire warned without breaking her own gaze into it.

Terrified the others turned back. They couldn’t watch the rainbow streak coming towards them. It professionally dodged all clouds, made a few unnecessary loops (because she can) and the two pegasi perfectly landed in the free space beside Captain Spitfire ready for the photo.

“You’re way too lucky, Crash,” Spitfire whispered without turning.

“That’s why I’m your favourite.”

“You aren’t.”

Meanwhile Soarin released a breath he had been mentally holding for the past hours. Now that everyone was there, nothing could go wrong anymore. They would just shoot the photo and everypony would be happy.

That’s when the shockwave of the Rainboom came. It passed the ponies without a problem. Then came the tool shed. The vibrations were enough to send the pickle crate falling down from the shelf, right on the raised part of the bench. The cake on the other side was catapulted through the window. Some ponies saw the cake flying towards them from the site, targeting Spitfire of all ponies. They were too slow to react and could only watch as the cake… passed right over her without harm. And they sighed in relief.

But it wasn’t over. The cake hit the clotheslines plate-first and rebounded back towards Spitfire. This time… narrowly passing before her muzzle. Even the stoic captain couldn’t contain her shock for a few seconds.

Thankfully the cake hit the ground after that and everypony released another breath.

“Alright, Trixie, I think that’s enough. You improved very much today.” Starlight and Trixie were training this time on an open field outside of Ponyville.

“Woohoo, Trixie became more great and powerful! She’ll reach your level very soon.” And then she accidentally shot a magic beam into the sky. “Maybe Trixie needs a bit longer…”

“I hope nopony gets hit...”

“If it helps, Trixie was thinking about cakes and fireworks…”

“Get ready!”

Everypony was putting on their best smile as Photo Finish was about to press the button.

Suddenly a cloud over the Wonderbolts was hit by a magenta beam and turned into an explosion of cake. While they tried to jump out of cake’s way the flash went off and everything seemed to stop for a moment.

When it was over, everything and everyone was covered in cake. Including Spitfire who hadn’t moved from her spot at all, a look of… horror, probably, underneath the batter.

Though this soon changed into an expression of pure anger. The batter melted off her as she rose into the air. “WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS?!? THIS WILL HAVE HUGE CONSEQUENCES!”

“B-But we have no plan either what just happened,” Fleetfoot spoke up.

“None of us are responsible,” Surprise added.

“Come on, Spitfire–” Soarin shrunk a bit under her glare, but still stood his ground. “Captain, we can just quickly clean ourselves, get new uniforms and make a new photo.”

They looked over to Photo Finish, who was already in the process of packing up her stuff. “Sorry, everypony, but in sree, too, one, I go!” And she suddenly fell through the ground of clouds under her.

That was enough for Spitfire. With a loud groan of frustration she flew away. Soarin was sure he saw tears welling up in her eyes.

“We’ve failed... again.” Soarin slumped to the ground. The others soon followed; they didn’t care about getting dirtier. They spent the next minutes just sitting there, contemplating their mistakes.

Soon some smaller conversations started among the ponies, though none dared to leave yet.

That’s when Rainbow asked an important question. “Why exactly does Spitfire get so worked up over a simple photo?”

Some Wonderbolts wanted to answer but then realized they didn’t know either.

“I think it doesn’t hurt to know,” Soarin spoke up for the first time. “Spitfire is very secretive about it. Even everything I know is pieced together from little tidbits and slip-ups.

“It has to with her sister. A few years ago she suddenly disappeared. And apparently Spitfire’s family just never really thought about making photos, which is why the best memento she has of her sister is a decade-old photo. I think it shows how much she values the Wonderbolts that she tries to make a good photo to remember us by.”

“*sniff* And what happened to her sister?” Surprise asked with tears in her eyes.

“I don’t know. I think her name was Sundown or something…”

“Wait!” Everyone was surprised to hear Vapor Trail interrupt him. “I think I can help.”

After a collective “What?” she turned to Rainbow. “Remember what happened today? Do you think that–”

Rainbow’s eyes widened in realization. “Oh. My. Celestia. If that’s right then… Wow…”

“Can somepony please translate?” asked an annoyed Misty Fly.

Vapor Trail and Rainbow explained vaguely what happened.

When they finished Soarin addressed the group with newfound determination. “Alright, everypony, you know what we have to do. Rainbow Dash, Vapor Trail, you know what you have to do. Fleetfoot, Misty Fly, gather all the spare uniforms you told me about. The rest, first you’ll help me clean up all these weird cake batter, then take a quick shower to get all of it out of your manes. We’ll meet here again in two hours. Let’s go, Wonderbolts, photo-day is not over!”

Spitfire sat alone in one of the halls of the academy. Her sad look fell onto the old photo she took from her office.

“Why… Why does it never work?”

Her gaze went up to the wall opposite to her. It held several group photos of the last years. Each of them depicted a different disaster. Discolored uniforms, unscheduled rainstorm, missing uniforms, breaking benches, Discord, one looked pretty decent until you found out that over half of them were missing due to bad food. Now that she thought about it, this new photo will fit very well.

She heard the sound of hooves approaching her. She quickly hid the picture in her uniform and turned to the unwanted company.

“What do you want, Soarin?” she asked gruffly.

“Eh… I know you probably don’t want to see anyone, but there’s still the problem with all the cake batter that came out of nowhere, so…”

Spitfire gave up with a groan and followed him through the halls.

“Is it too much to expect a bit of independence sometimes?” she complained on the way.

But once they were outside Spitfire was surprised to see a distinct lack of cake. Instead all of the Wonderbolts were waiting for her, perfectly clean.

“What’s going on?”

Soarin gave a small chuckle from her side. “Well, we thought after the first photo failed we could make a second one. We cleaned up everything and prepared for a second shoot. Starlight and Trixie over there even volunteered to help us after they heard of this. Very selfless from them.” He pointed at the unicorns on the far side that avoided every gaze.

Spitfire couldn’t believe what she was seeing. “B-But how did you do all of that on your own?”

“Come on, Spits, you should have some faith in others.”

Spitfire stopped. T-That voice… But this can’t be.

“We also included a little present for you as an excuse for all the failed photos,” Soarin added.

The Wonderbolts stepped aside to reveal another pony hiding behind them.

“What would you say about a photo, sister?”

Spitfire was admiring the new addition to the wall of group photos. It just came per mail. She had to admit that Photo Finish certainly was an ultimate photographer. The picture perfectly captured the moment the cloud exploded with most ponies jumping for cover or just noticing and Spitfire herself standing in the front trying to keep a straight face. She was right, it does perfectly fit to the others.

She walked back to her office to admire the two new framed additions to her table. The first photo showed Spitfire alongside a yellow unicorn with fiery mane, her sister. Happily reunited as adult mares. The second was a group photo of the Wonderbolts. Clean uniforms, big smiles, no interruptions. Except for Spitfire herself, who still had cake batter in her mane. But she didn’t care. The picture was perfect as it was. Maybe a bit too perfect.

Just when she was about to start the paper works she heard an explosion not too far away. While she stood up to go and survey the damage, she couldn’t hide a smile.

I love this crazy bunch.