//------------------------------// // Resort: Tip of the Trident- Fish and Tank // Story: Dan Vs. The Magic of Friendship(Season 1) // by Barrobroadcaster //------------------------------// Dan wiped the sweat off his brow as the library came into distance. That was when a thought occurred to Phoenix. "Dan... the targeting system," he said, voice weary. "It'll be, it'll be fine." "How do you... know?" "Because I programmed it, Nicky! We got the bugs worked out, you registered everybody, didn't you?" "Yeah..." "Then we're... we'll be fine," Dan said through labored breaths. "We just have to make sure we're not in the way of the guns, missiles and laser turrets when they target the drill guy." "Great... how do we do that?" The library bounded into view. And Dan didn't have an answer to that question. "RUN FASTER!!" The ion cannon adjusted and fired as Dan and Phoenix ran towards it. The power of the massive orb-shaped gun attached to the roof of the library was so strong it caused the tree and the ground around it to shake with each massive blast. Dan and Phoenix even felt the beginnings of the vibrations through their shoes, but although the branches shook, not a leaf fell from the Golden Oaks. So strong were the renovations Dan, Twilight and the team had implemented that they absorbed each pulse with a serene grace. Phoenix and Dan had a brief moment where they appreciated the library's resilience as they dashed towards it, dripping in sweat. Dan's shirt and jeans were soaked, as was Phoenix's suit but oddly enough the lawyer's hair remained just as spiked as ever, despite the combined perspiration and exertion. "We're almost there!" Dan yelled. He brushed his arm in front of Phoenix. "Nicky, Nicky get behind me! Narrow-narrow our... just let me get in front, I'll block your shots." Phoenix felt the arm on his chest and found his body was too tired to object, but his mind wasn't. "I... but... you're shorter than me, you can't-can't block my head." "SCREW IT, Just..." he was almost too out of breath to yell. "RUN!" The guns on the library deployed. Chain guns, machine guns, submachine guns, automatic turrets, semi-automatic turrets, lasers, phasers, tasers, blazers, phased-blazers, flamethrowers, lamethrowers, blamethrowers, missile launchers, rocket launchers, pop rocket launchers, launchers that launched rocks, launchers that launched launchers, launchers that launched the launchers that launched launchers(with side launcher), grenade launchers, grenadine launchers, lemonade launchers, rocket league launchers, rocket-propelled grenade launchers, grenade-propelled rocket launchers, sticks, stones, bones, iphones, land mines, sea mines, air mines, silver mines, gold mines, mime mines, your mines, a copy of the movie Enemy Mine, fuck this one is LONG, shotguns, pop guns, shot-pop guns, pop-shot guns, fun guns, stun guns, pun guns, terrible pun guns, terrible pun shotguns, the Guns of Navarone, the Gun on Ice Planet Zero, The Man with The Golden Gun's Golden Gun, the Man who Shot Liberty Valance(John Wayne)'s gun, a potato gun, a tomato gun, a potato chip gun, a brotato chip gun, flare guns, label guns, labeled label guns, labeled label guns not labeled labeled labeled guns, a frosting gun, a twenty-one-gun salute, the Second Amendment gun, the Twenty-Second Amendment gun, Johnny's Seven-in-One OMA gun, every gun from Borderlands, every gun from Fallout, every gun in TomSka's "SHOOT ALL YOUR PROBLEMS AWAY" video, every gun from Goldeneye the video game, every gun from Goldeneye the movie, every gun from Goldeneye the remade video game, every gun from holy crap are you still reading this? Every gun from Hot Fuzz, Lethal Weapon, Rambo, Kelly's Heroes, The Alamo, The Shot Heard 'Round the World, the gun store from Dead Rising, Tropic Thunder, Top Gun, Kong: Skull Island, every other James Bond movie and- So many guns that the previous narrator refused to continue this reference and they were forced to hire a new one with a more eloquent and distinguished voice that somehow still agreed to work for less money. -and a super-soaker that had been duct taped to the mailbox alongside the tiny Scotsman with his dart launcher. "Grrruuuooooh?" the Big Daddy slowed down as the shadow of the Golden Oaks Library fell upon him. Bristling with weaponry, light no longer shone through the branches and leaves but rather reflected off the barrels, hulls and shells of the arsenal, blocking out the sun. "Grrrrooo..." Although the portholes attached to his armored diving suit were fixed on, the color changed from red to pink, an expression of eyes widening. The guns fired at point-blank range. Everything unloaded, launched and fired at that single spot the Big Daddy occupied, causing an eruption of flames, smoke, energy and metal that could be seen from space. "BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!" Dan and Phoenix were blasted off their feet by the blast and into the door. They hit the door hard, but it didn't break; Dan had thought of everything when designing the security system. The front door opened. "Daaaaaaaaaaannnn! Phoeeeeeeeeeeeeeniiiiiiiiix! The others won't let me have a turn on the big eye gunny!" Blast Fuse whined. Dan shakily got up and patted her head. "That's great, Elise, your parents are sure to be proud of you this time." The exploding pony looked puzzled. "Who is Elise? Phoenix?" "I'm gonna throw up." "Ewww, don't do it in here," she tried to stop him but the lawyer shouldered past, all the way to the kitchen where he proceeded to vomit into the sink. Athleticism, the enemy of all non-athletes. Dan, on the other hand, was too focused on the immediate safety and security of his friends/stuff(pronounced specifically friends-slash-stuff) to succumb to exhaustion. He engaged the security terminal next to the door and zoomed-in one of the security cameras to survey the carnage. "I think we got him, Nicky!" *Puking lawyer sounds* "Turn on the garbage disposal when you're done- don't let it just sit there." *Puking intensifies* Finally, the dust and smoke cleared. The lawn had been devastated by the GETOFFMAILAWN to the point it resembled the bottom of a burned-out barbecue pit rather than a front yard. Dan grinned to himself, a job finally well done. Twilight walked in from the side hall. "Fusey? It's your turn on the cannon, the others said." Fusey then popped and disappeared from the living room, reappearing instantly behind the controls of the ion cannon in the command center. Twilight reminded herself not to question physics. "Dan, we've got another problem," Twilight said, tapping him on the shoulder. "Fantastic, what now?" "We just got word from Gust- the sky battle's not going well. The sea monsters the sea ponies brought along with them are armored and fast, faster than his ships." "I thought the ion cannons were taking care of the beasties!" Twilight nodded. "They are, but they can only do so much. Some of the monsters have switched to ground attacks and they've landed troops in the town. I've talked to Knight and the Mayor and they're preparing something for the big ones but we need to secure the ones on the ground." By secure, Twilight was using a nicer term for destroy or capture and skewer, which were the words Dan inferred from her speech. Dan groaned. "Okay, uhh... maybe we try to lure them back to the library and blow them up? That's all I got right now." Phoenix walked over holding a Japanese sports drink. Dan and Twilight looked at the drink, then looked at Phoenix. "Please don't judge me right now, please. Did we get rid of the diver, Dan?" "Look for yourself, Nicky!" Dan exclaimed proudly. "Sensors show zero hostels. Hos... ho-stiles? HoSTILES. Yeah, those. None of 'em." Phoenix looked at the screen. "What's that big hole by the mailbox?" "Hole? What hole?" Dan spun around. Instead of seeing the carcass of his defeated enemy, as he hoped to see littering the scorched earth of the lawn, he saw a gaping gofer hole. With less charring around it than he would have liked. "Grrrrr..." He barged outside. "No. No. No. There's no way. He couldn't POSSIBLY have dodged all that." He stomped all the way out to the hole, Phoenix and Twilight trailing him. Every step he said, "No. No. NO. NO. NO! NO! NOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOO!!!!!" he ran up to the hole and screamed into it, "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!! NICKKYYYYYYYYY!!" "Please, I'm right behind you. And my stomach just now settled." "TWILIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT! HE'S GOOONE!!" Down on his knees, he screamed at the hole, into the hole and back to his friends in frantic anger. "He tunneled!" "What tunneled exactly?" Phoenix downed his drink quickly. "There was a... a thing chasing us. Some kind of guy in a metal diving suit with drills." "HE USED THE DRILLS-" "-to dig his way out of the security system's line of fire, that makes sense," Twilight deduced. Dan looked back down into the hole. "He better not have nicked the septic ta-OH MAI GAWD!" He jumped out of the way as the hole exploded. "GRRRRRRRRAAAAAAALLLL!!" The Daddy emerged, completely unscathed. It towered over Dan and the others, drills raised, about to bring them down in a single strike. The security system opened fire again. "TWILIGHT, SHI-" He was cut off by the cannon fire. The missiles, the bombs, the artillery, all of it was unleashed once more upon the scarred surface of the lawn. And this time, they weren't inside the house- they were in the line of fire. They were fired on. Dan and Phoenix clung to Twilight. Twilight held them, her horn glowing. Slowly, the three of them opened their eyes. "Oh, thank goodness." "I love you, Twilight," Phoenix said, hugging her face. "I don't say it enough, this may even be the first time, but I love you. I love you both so much." "Phoenix, please-" "Nicky, back up, your breath smells like barf." "Oh, right. Sorry." The dust settled. They were able to see out of the purple translucent sphere of Twilight's shield again. "Ahh, well at least that-OH YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME." "Hrrrr-hrrrrr-hrrrrr!" The Big Daddy retracted the two shields it had projected from its drills. The metal was singed, but unharmed. "What in the heck is this guy even made out of?!" "I think the better question is WHY DID THE GUNS STOP FIRING?!" Dan yelled angrily. "Umm, I think they might be out of ammo," Twilight said. "Fusey and Powdey needed to make more guns for the rest of the town. They needed something to work with so..." Dan nodded. "That's fine, we'll just kill everyone and then find out who to blame later." Phoenix smiled. "We let you say those things because you only threaten those you love." "Don't touch me." "GRAAAAAAAAAA!!" The Big Daddy abruptly ended its polite pause so they could finish their conversation. He picked up Twilight's shield ball. "GRRR-HRRR-HRRR!!" The creature laughed triumphantly, holding the trio captive. He took one step forward and was brought down to one knee, instantly becoming a very clear reference to Atlas. The Big Daddy looked down. A small tear in his armor was leaking. "Hrrrrrrrggg..." he growled and dropped the ball. The shield disappeared. The trio stared at their opponent as he revved up his drills again, injured but still intent on crushing them. Dan, Phoenix and Twilight all saw the wound on his torso. "Okay," Dan said, "I have an idea." *BLAM-BLABLAM-BLAM-BLAM-BLAM* A Flutterbird flying low strafed the Big Daddy with its gatling lasers and missiles. "Graaahh! GRRAAAAHHH!!" The Big Daddy roared, its drill splitting open to deploy its shields again. It blocked some of the fire but blasts still scorched it, tearing into the armor around its giant boots and arms. Rather than continuing the engagement, the Elite Buster Daddy retreated. Its drills spun and it charged away by drill-dashing, a trait it gained from Alpha-class Daddies. Phoenix laughed. "Great plan, Dan." "Yes... I admire its effectiveness, too." "More plans should be like that plan." "Gonna make a note on that, yeah," Dan said, jotting Flutterbird Flyby down. But the Flutterbird hadn't exactly gone anywhere- it was still overhead. "HEY MINTY! Is that you?" Lightning Claw poked his head out of the side hatch. "Not quite! She's behind me!" Another Flutterbird flew down just to the side of Lightning's craft. Only this one had something else with it. "Captain Dan, glad to see you alive," Captain Springer remarked. "We brought you something to help deal with the situation on the ground!" Springer's Flutterbird detached a large contraption from underneath it. It landed right in front of them and bounced a little. "Minty, is that..." "Springer... is that..." "Guys? Is that..." "We brought you a tank!" Equestrian Armored Fighting Vehicle M. A. L-Arsenal Mane Battle Wagon Shock and D'aww