Humans Meet Ponies

by TwiPON3

17: Gifts

"Ms Cadence?" Fluttershy said.
"As far as I'm concerned," she responded, "We're all on a first-name basis. I'm not 'Dean Cadence' or 'Principal Cadence'. I'm just 'Cadence'. I don't want to be formal just yet. I'm only 27. Plus," she added, "I'm just Twilight's sister-in-law."
"Um, Cadence? Do you want us to help you clean up some?"
"No. It's fine," Cadence said as Shining Armor woke up and came into the room with us, "I've got it."
"Hey, Babe."
"Oh, good morning, Shiny."
"Oh, but of course, Darling. I mean, after all we're responsible for this mess, too."
"It's fine. Besides, I've almost got it."
Everyone took their garbage and put it in a garbage can in the kitchen, quickly filling it up.
"Well," Cadence said, putting on a glove so she could compact the trash some, "It did help. Now, I can go get breakfast with Shiny."
"You're too good to me, Cady. I'm paying this time."
Twilight had just left and had been gone for a few minutes, but her former statement still held clear with Lemon and me.
It's okay if you want to stay here while I'm gone if you want to.
"Okay, Indigo," Sunset Shimmer said, addressing an issue that was only partially here, "What do we do until Twilight gets back?"
My Apple Watch went off, so I checked it.
"What time is it?" Cadence asked.
"7:30."
"We better go," Shining Armor said as they both left.
For a few minutes, none of us said anything until Sugarcoat saw walking down the street.
"I don't want to sound heartless or even blount," Sugarcoat said, "But it's probably just going to be some fast food and a trip to the park with a drink."
"Yeah," I added, "They did seem a little tight on money."
"And this console's jus' 'bout ta see its day."
"Not to mention that it's atrocious, Darling."
"That table of hers is going to give at any moment," Sunset noted, "It looks really old."
"Table?" Lemon asked.
"Her work table. I also did some poking around, and she has a few milkcrates for her books, and her file system is just some worn, plastic drawers. Not to mention one for her nightstand with a slab of wood on each side."
"Oh God, really?" Sunny Flare asked, looking at the back of the TV.
"What?" Rainbow said, taking a look behind the set at the wiring, "Wow."
I went over and they put the TV down on its face, showing just how messed up it actually was.
"Oh."
Most of the inputs were either yanked out completely or hanging by a cable.
"I can't bear to see her live like this," Sugarcoat said, taking out a debit card, "We need to get a few things. I'm the wealthiest out of any of us, not trying to gloat, so I'll pay for as much as I can."
"I'll take the rest," Lemon said, "I'm just behind her on that scale."
"None of it will fall on me, more than likely," I said, "but I come in third there. That should take care of it."
"Like what?" Pinkie said.
"Everything."
"Mah God, Darling!"
"What, Rarity!?" Sunset said.
"This dresser is atrocious!"
"It's settled. We're doing this."
"I'll make a list of what we need to find," I said, "Let's just get it all together."
"Good idea."
"I'll drive ya back ta yer house so y'all c'n get yer SUV, Sugarcoat."
"The address is--"
"1202 Papergreen Street."
"How did you know?"
"I might've put you on speakerphone because we were all worried about you."
A warm smile came across her face before she went back to business.
"Ready, Sugarcoat?"
"Ready, Applejack."
"Sunny?"
"When you are."
"'et's go, then."
Applejack, Sunny, and Sugarcoat left the apartment.
"What now, Darling?" Rarity said to Sunset.
"That microwave did take forever to make my popcorn last night," Rainbow commented.
"I'm taking a look at that microwave," Sunset said, opening the door and looking at the rating, and was surprised at how low the rating was, "350 Watts!?"
I pulled a blank notebook out of my bag and started writing in it everything as stuff came up.
"That oven was giving off some pretty funky odors last night," Lemon mentioned.
"And this Mr Coffee doesn't exactly get hot," Fluttershy added.
"Anything else?" I said, finishing the list.
"Several 8×10, 4×6, and 5×7 Photos have messed-up frames, Darling."
"How many?"
"Three 4×6s, four 5×7s, and three 8×10s."

1. TV Console
2. Workdesk
3. Desk Chair
4. Bookcase
5. Drawers
6. Nightstand
7. TV
8. VCR
9. DVD Player
10. Dresser
11. Corkboards
12. 1100-Watt Microwave
13. Countertop Oven
14. Coffee Maker
15. 4×6 -3
16. 5×7 -4
17. 8×10 -3

I set the list on the kitchen table for everyone to go over.
"Looks about right to me," Lemon said.
"Wow," Pinkie said, "We have a lot to get for Sci-Twi!"

"I'll go ahead and turn off all of her stuff," I said.
"You should probably do that."
I went into her bedroom and called her on Skype.
"Come on, Sci-Twi!"
It rang for a minute, then went to voicemail. She managed to get service in Equestria somehow.
"Hello, you have reached Twilight Sparkle. I'm currently not available, so if you will please leave a message after the beep with your name and a callback number, I will return your call at the first available opportunity. Thank you, and have a nice day!"
I ended the call and pressed redial instead of leaving a message. She picked up the second time.
"Hi, Sunset! Listen, I can't talk for long, so--"
"Hi, yeah, I'll make it quick. How do you turn off your computer?"
"It's just an iMac, so there's no tricks behind it. At the top of the screen, you should see a command bar with an apple, and the words Finder, File, Edit, View, Go, Window, Help."
"Okay, I see it."
"Good. Click on the apple, then click 'Shutdown'. A window should open that says 'Are you sure you want to shut down your computer now?'."
"Okay."
"Just press 'Return' on the keyboard, and it should be off within a minute."
"Okay," I said, following the instructions, "Thanks."
"No problem. Anything else?"
"Yeah, just one more thing: I'm not trying to rush you or anything, but how long do you think you'll be in Equestria today?"
"I should be back by 11:30. I have to go now, but the princesses say 'Hi!'."
She ended the call just as Applejack walked in with Sugarcoat and Sunny.

"We're back, y'all!"
Sunset walked hurriedly back.
"What's up?" I asked.
"Twilight is going to leave Equestria at 11:30, so we have to move fast. It's already 8:00."
"I drove by the park on the way back," Sunny said, "Cadence and Shining Armor should have themselves occupied with each other for a while. They had just sat down with two cups of coffee and a bag from Wendy's."
"They should be really good to go until at least until Twilight gets back if I'm right," I said, receiving looks from everyone in the room, "What? We used to be kind of friendly."
"We've got enough time if we work fast," Sunset said.
"I'll stay here with Angel," Fluttershy said, holding her pet rabbit.
"Good idea, Fluttershy. You hold down the fort, and don't let anyone in," Rainbow Dash said as we began to leave.
"Even Shining Armor and Cadence?"
"Especially them!"
"Oh. Okay."
"Just call if you need us," Sunset said.
"Thank you."

"Okay," I said as we went into Walmart, "When we get everything, we need to meet at the Subway in the back of the store."
"I'll take care of the TV setup," Sunset said.
"Sugarcoat and I have the kitchen!" Sunny said.
"I'll take care of office and organization along with Lemon," I said.
"A'll take care o' the furniture with Rarity," Applejack said.
"While you're there," Sunset added, "could you pick up some zipties? The antenna cable was a mess."
"Of course, Darling,"
"Pinkie and I'll take care of the pictures!" Rainbow said.
"Okay, I said, tearing a sheet of paper into five pieces and making the list into five smaller lists, "Here is what each of you need to get."
We all went our separate ways.

When we started to get what we needed, I went and got a cart, then went to the back of the store to get new living room equipment.
"Excuse me," I said to the department worker, "I need a 32-inch TV, DVD player, and VCR. Preferably by JVC."
She looked at me for a second, "Oh! You're Sunset Shimmer! I'll get one of each from the back. Do you want a remote with that?"
"Sure. I don't have time to talk now, though."
She went into the back and pulled the four things that I wanted, "The VCR is new-oldstock from 1998."
"Does everything have the right cables?"
"They're in the boxes."
"Thanks. I'm going to wait at the Subway, then my friends are going to take it to the front and pay there."
"Have a great day!"
I went and waited for the others.

"Looks like we're on kitchen duty," I said, getting a shopping cart and going to kitchenware with Sugarcoat.
"Coffee maker should definitely be Sunbeam."
"Good idea. Sunbeam microwave, too. Those things are 1100 watts at the start."
"What kind of oven? Emerson?"
"We've had a Sunbeam ever since I started in kindergarten. My grandmother gave it to us as a housewarming gift, and it's worked great ever since."
We got the appliances and went to the Subway where Sunset was already waiting on us.
"How good are those?" she asked us.
"Top of the line," Sugarcoat said, "Yours?"
"It's Japanese, so it's definitely great."

The three of us exchanged a smile and nod, "I'm going to put in a call to my Uncle Auto to get Twilight a car," I said, taking out my iPhone 6.

"Hello?" there was Journey playing in the background.
"Uncle Auto?"
"My favorite niece, Sugarcoat! How are you?" he answered with a cheerful voice as the music lowered in volume.
"I'm good."
"'At's great! Anything I c'n do for you?"
"Yeah, I was wondering if I could get a DeLorean for my friend."
"Must be a pretty special friend for you to do something like this. Who is it?"
"You know that girl...?"
"Sunset Shimmer from Canterlot High?"
"Uh, no. Glasses...?"
"Oh. Ms Twilight Sparkle?" his voice suddenly went to one of sympathy, "Hard times for her, ain't it?"
"Yeah. We've started calling her 'Sci-Twi' because of her science, though."
I felt bad for what happened, and he could hear it in my voice.
"Sugarcoat, listen. You don't need to feel bad. I know that you know that they're in a better place now. They're never gonna have to worry about anything again, Sugar. As for what happened that day, there wasn't anything that you could've done. You weren't even on the subway."
"I know. It's just... she's still going through it."
"I know it must be hard for her, just like it was when I lost your aunt Bobbie. You just have to remember, and her too, that Mrs Velvet and Mr Light are in eternal paradise now. If she, her brother, or her sister has any trouble letting go, tell them to come and see me if they can. If they can't, I'll drop everything and go to them."
"Th... thanks. That's the nicest anyone's been to her outside of her family until yesterday when Indigo beat the crap out of Sour Sweet for insulting her mom."
"Indigo did the right thing," I smiled, feeling warm inside, "Listen, Sugar, whenever you see Ms Twilight, you tell her that my door is always open to her. I don't give a crap about anything else. I know how hard this can be for her."
I desperately tried to change the subject. He obviously caught on, but went with it anyway, "Listen, what do I--"
"Not a thing. I couldn't charge my niece, ev'n if my live depended on it. An' especially not for Miss Sparkle."
I pushed my glasses on my face.
"What's the address?"
"830 4^TH Avenue."
"I'll have it over there in a little bit."

I went with Lemon to get a shopping cart, then we headed over to get the workdesk.
"Do you know what she'd want?" Lemon asked.
"If she's still like she was when she was little, two long folding tables would be better than a fancy desk."
"If you're sure," she said as we went to get the tables.
When we got there, we picked out two different-sized tables so they could fit together right.
"Now what?" Lemon asked.
"A chair."
"We need another store cart, so I'll meet you at the chairs."
"Okay," I said as she went to the front of the store and I made my way to an office chair with lumbar support. Lemon met me there not too long after.
"Lumbar support, huh?"
"She did have something tied to that cardtable chair where her back would go."
"Works for me," she said, putting the thing in the cart, "Next?"
"Drawers."
"Follow me, and I'll show you some nice ones."
She got two sets of three wide drawers off of the shelf from the "Home & Living" department.
"And you're positive that these are good?"
"Absolutely!" she said, nothing but confidence and certainty in her voice, "Next!"
"Bookcase."
"I'd just bullshit that one with a deep, three-shelf cabinet."
"Done. Lead the way,"
She found a patternless, tan cabinet the same depth as the table and width of the milkcrates she used for her books.
"Wow," I said, "That's nice."
"I know. Next!"
"Four corkboards."
"Easy," she said as we went and got the boards, then met up with the others.

"Ah gotta say, Rarity," I took a buggy, "How do y'all thank we oughta go 'bout gettin' this new setup?"
"You saw her house, Darling. Modern and compact. Nothing with drawers, though. They're depressing," I said as I got a text from Sunset.

The new TV is 32 inches

"Ah see. Accordin' ta Sunset, we need one fer a 32-inch screen," I said as we ran over to the furniture section. Rarity had one picked out within a minute of arriving.
"That one," she said, pointing to one that consisted of a shelf that sat of the floor with an aluminum pole at each corner holding a second shelf above it, making it as tall as two VCRs like Sci-Twi's. It also turned out to be the right width for the TV Sunset found.
"Can you call someone to help get it down, Darling?"
I stopped a worker as she was walking behind us.
"Can I help you?"
"We've found a TV console?"
She looked at Rarity.
"This one, Darling."
"Rarity," I said, "Ah'm goin' ta get some zipties in case Sunset needs 'em while she's workin' on the antenna cord."
"You do that, Darling."
In the time it took me to find a pack of 250 zipties, Rarity and the worker had loaded up the console.
"Anything else?" she said as I tossed the zipties on top of the console.
"Actually, we need a bedside table and dresser, Darling."
She took us to them.
"Do you want me to help you with the dresser?"
"No, Darling, but thank you for offering your assistance."
"No problem," she said as she left.
"Twilight's room is rather functional over a complete style, so the bedside table should reflect that."
"Fer once, Ah actually know which one yer atalkin' at," I said, pulling a nightstand off the shelf that looked like a small wooden card table with a bright woodgrain finish just as Rarity found a matching dresser.
"Ready?"
"When you are, Darling."
We both went to the Subway and met up with Sunset, Sunny, Sugarcoat, Indigo, and Lemon.
"At's some nice stuff ya got fer Sci-Twi. Almost makes me jealous o' ya fer livin' in the city."
We all exchanged smiles and Rarity ponied-up. I decided to call Big Macintosh and see if he'd help put the new furniture together.
"Hello?"
"Hey, I need to ask you a big favor."
"Eeyup."
"We're at Walmart right now gettin' some new furniture fera new friend o' ours."
"Eeyup."
"And Ah's awonderin' if ya could help us gittin' it tagether."
"Eeyup. Where's she live?"
"830 on 4^TH Avenue, apartment number 7C ah thank. Fluttershy's there right now."
"Ah'm on mah way with mah pow'r tools. Hey, you don't need a rahde back, doya sis?"
"Actually, we might."
"Ah'm on mah way. Truck's a bit messy, but Ah don't thank 't's too bad."
"Thanks, Big Mac."
The call ended, so I called Fluttershy.
"Hello?"
"Fluttershy, this's Applejack."
"Hi. Is everything going okay?"
"Ev'rthang's fine."
"That's good to know."
"Listen, my brother's comin' over with us fr'm the store so'e c'n help us git the stuff built since we ain't gonna have a lotta time as it is."
"Okay. I'll let him in."
"Mighty thankful," I said before ending the call.

"Okay, Pinkie," I said as we made our way over to the picture frames, "We're dealing with glass here, so be careful."
"Of course, Rainbow Dash!" I said, "You wanna just get plain ones?"
"Yeah. Just make it quick and painless," I said, getting the frames.
"The next time she throws a party, it'll be AMAZING!!!!!"
"Let's just go back with the others."

It took a few minutes for everyone to get back, but we were all able to manage.
"Alright," Applejack said, "When me 'n Rarity got over here, Ah called mah brother 'n he'll pick us up 'n help out with the load."
I checked my watch.
"Guys, it's already 10:00."
We made our way to the front of the store as quickly as possible.
"What are you guys doing," the cashier asked with big-city arrogant sarcasm, "rebuilding a house?"
"Kinda," Applejack said, brushing it off.
"So I guess you've found out about TV. Lemmie catch you up to speed: have you ever heard of YouTube?" she asked, her tone stronger than before, as she finished scanning the items, "$1485.89." She was obviously just trying to piss Applejack off. I'm pretty sure that the only think keeping her from showing the checkout lady what for was that her brother called.
"Hey, Big Mac. How are ya? Pullin' inta Walmart? Uh-huh, Ah'll tell 'em," she ended the call, "He's here."
The woman looked at me, "Hey, didn't you go to school with Twilight Sparkle when you were younger?"
Applejack's brother came up to us.
"Y'all ready?"
"Yeah. They need some things in their house replaced after--"
"I'm surprised that they only took out her mom and dad."
"What?"
Sugarcoat scanned her card, "When you've got a lot of money like this, it just doesn't feel right not to do this for someone who needs it."
"She wasn't any better than either of them. And her brother, well, he's a joke of an officer," everyone around us just froze at that bitch, "That whole family should've had their brains blown out."
Alright, that fucking does it!
I snapped and began to throw punches at her, but had to keep her conscious or face prison time.
"KEEP YOUR DAMN MOUTH SHUT!!!!! THAT GIRL'S MOTHER AND FATHER DIED ON THAT SUBWAY THAT DAY!!!!! AND YOU WANT HER AND HER BROTHER GONE, TOO!?!?!?!?!?"
Applejack's brother had to pull me off of her. Unfortunately, she only had a black eye, dislocated jawbone, and a few missing teeth.
"Either her or someone she knew took a hit out on her family. I was there when it happened."
"Ah'm sorry 'bout that."
"It's okay."
"Now let's get this stuff back ta her house."
We went back to the front and waited for Applejack, Sunny, and Big Mac to drive up and help us load the stuff up. For all the good it did though, we were set back by a pileup. Altogether, though, both truckbeds and a third of Sugarcoat's Tahoe ended up being used for the stuff.
Sunset and Rainbow Dash rode with Applejack, Pinkie and Rarity rode with Big Mac, while Lemon and I rode with Sunny and Sugarcoat.

"Hey, Fluttershy!" Lemon said, banging on the door as we all got up with the first trip of furniture.
"Yes?"
"It's us!"
"Just a minute," she said, letting us in, "Oh my, what is all that?"
"All of Twilight's stuff!"
"Lemon?" I said, "Are you deaf?"
"No."
It took four trips to get everything up to her seventh-floor apartment. All of the construction went smoothly until Twilight began home when Sunset got a call from her. She put the call on speakerphone so she could hear it over us working.
"HELLO?"
"Sunset?"
"OH, HI, TWILIGHT!!! WHAT'S UP?
"Nothing. Just about to leave Equestria."
She held the phone at arm's length and faced the opposite direction, "Shit! Hurry up, she's on her way back!"
"What?"
"NOTHING!! JUST DON'T TAKE ANY VEHICLE HOME!!"
They finished with the powertools.
"Why? And what was with the noise?
"Just a little something. And probably bad signal."
"Sound's legitimate."
"Anything neat happen in Equestria?"
"A lot."
"Okay. See ya later."
She ended the call.
"Is ev'rything alright, Sugarcube?"
Sunset had a "deer in headlights" look on her.
"Sci-Twi's on her way home," her eyes widened even more, "Now."
"Don't freeze up, then!" Sunny shouted as she backhanded Sunset, snapping her out her trance, "What the hell, Sunny!?" she said, "Thanks. I needed that."
"Kick it into high gear," Rainbow said as the TV was set on the new console.
"Oh right," Sunset replied before hooking up the new set to the antenna, DVD player, and VCR, then linking the remote to all three, then programmed the thing.
"Wow," Sunny said, "Where'd you learn to do all that?"
"I have the exact same one at my apartment."
"Where did you say you were from, Darling?"
"Canterlot. The one in Equestria."
I went into Twilight's bedroom while Sunset finished up in the living room with Big Mac. Fluttershy was just re-framing photos. Lemon was in there, finishing up with Pinkie and Sugarcoat.
"She has to have an 'off' switch or something," Sugarcoat said.
"Okay. The tables are a two-person thing. Sugarcoat--"
"I know what to do."
"I'm skilled in electronics, so I'll go ahead and take her iMac off of the desk."
"Do you know how?" Pinkie Pie said.
"Yeah. And I can put it back together," I said, turning the computer on its face, "Most of it can go anywhere, actually. Now, where's a crate?"
Pinkie pulled Twilight's old "bedside table" out of her hair, along with her old bookshelf.
"I'm just like that. Most people think I'm adopted when they see me with the rest of my family, though."
She handed me the crate, "I can tell," I said, putting the components and cables in the crate with the computer as best I could without breaking anything.
"Can we start?"
"Not yet," I said, gathering her stuff from the desk and putting it in the other crates, "Okay. Now you can. I need to make a quick call to her, just to let her know that she can take the bus. Most of everything is taken care of."
"Okie-dokie-lokie!"
The Skype sound played for about ten seconds before she answered.
"Hello?"
"You can take the bus back if you haven't missed it yet."
"Okay. Thanks."
She ended the call.
"Hey, Indigo? You got that bedroom stuff swapped out? Mah Ford's ready, an' Ah have a feelin' 'at yer friend's gone be back soon."
"Yeah."
Applejack and her brother came, tore the bedroom "furniture" (if it could even be called that...) apart with ease, as it was severly aged and cheaply built, "Ah'll take 'is ta mah truck."
"No more, right?" I replied as the tables, drawers, and cabinet were set into place.
"'at's the last of it."
Applejack's brother left with the box of now-rubble, and I began to set Twilight's work area back up.
"Do you know how to set her computer up? I mean, with all those gadgets?"
I set the thing back-up on her bed and pulled out the document scanner and Internet cable.
"Look at the shapes of the end of these cables. Look at the holes in the back of the computer. You just match the shapes," I plugged in her Internet cable for example, "like a puzzle."
Pinkie's hair deflated.
"Those techies make it look so much harder. Where did you learn to do that?" Lemon asked.
"I got an iMac for my birthday last month."
I took the computer to the table, but Sunset ran in the room with six power strips and a plastic bag from her arm.
"Hold it for a second!"
"What?"
"Forgot about these."
Sunset held up six power strips. They looked like regular ones, except with an extra outlet on the end labeled "ALWAYS ON - LINK".
"I noticed her plug setup, and it didn't exactly look safe. Or decently usable for that matter," she shook her head, "Point being, I'm wiring this baby to the wall."
She dropped the power strips on the floor, emptied the bag, revealing two rolls of Gorilla mounting tape, screws, and zipties.
"Okay."
She took care of wiring and labeling the strips, then attaching them to the desk. Afterward, she and I put the iMac together and managed to put her stuff back. When we were finished setting everything back up, I turned on her iMac. It loaded like anyone would expect (pretty much like getting one straight from an Apple store), but a terminal window came up when the desktop loaded.
"Okay... this is... unexpected. Even from her," Lemon said.
"If I know her, it's probably just a check," I said, "We used to hang out when we were little. Kinda. Point being, she can get pretty technical about things."

Bash
TwilightSparkle@HomeiMac$ ./check
Processor: 2.66 GHz Penryn Intel Core 2 Duo
Working Memory: 8 GB
Graphics: nVidia GeForce 9400M
AirPort: Off
Ethernet: 25Mbps/12.5Mbps
USB#1: Keyboard
USB#1(1): Mouse
USB#2(2): Empty
USB#2: HP Deskjet 3450
USB#3: Empty
USB#4: Empty
FW800: 4X FW800
` FW800(1): 320 GB Seagate HDD
FW800(2): Samsung Galaxy S6 Cradle
FW800(3): Empty
FW800(4): Empty

"That's... an understatement, Indigo."
"The last time we spoke at all was in 2012."
There was an awkward silence, so I voiced an opinion.
"Leave it alone and watch TV, say 'Aye'."
"Aye," they all said.
We all went into the front room where Sunny was channel-surfing.
"Are you okay?" I asked, stepping into the kitchen to heat up some pizza bagels from the night before, only to find that there weren't any. What I did find was noodle soup and chopsticks.
"It feels... odd... doing something like this."
"How so?"
"Like... it's... I don't know... fuzzy."
"That feeling is called... um... I don't know what it's called."
"TWILIGHT'S BACK WITH HER FAMILY!!!!!" Pinkie Pie screamed.
I opened a curtain, and there was a CHARIOT on the damn ROAD. My phone rang, and it was Twilight.
"Hello?"
"Hi. Cadence and Shining Armor are with me, and we're about to come up."
"Oh, okay. See ya in a few."
"Actually, we're taking the elevator this time."
"Okay, then."
The call dropped when she stepped in the elevator.