It had been about a month since the incident with Dusty. Nothing much happened since then. The nightmares stop and I haven't seen any spirits, including, Dusty, which I was grateful for. I had gained most of my weight back since I started eating again and my mane was back to its flowing self. My mood had improved a lot better and I started to be nicer to ponies, which Celestia was thankful for. My wing was still broken but I was started to get used to it. I started doing my duties at the princess of the night again not too long ago. I was very pleased to go back into the dream realm and help ponies with their nightmares and raising the moon. I went through some hard times during though 3 weeks. I was losing myself as each minute passed. Up to the point that I wanted to die and end it all.
But now, things were really looking up for me. I knew how to control my power enough to not let them come in my head when they felt like it. Of course, I knew it wouldn't last. I knew I wasn't strong enough to keep out all of the spirits. So I went to Shredder as much as I could so I could learn how to have better control of my newfound power. I would always wear a cloak so nopony would recognize me. I would go to the dream realm for a couple of hours and then I would go to him. I would leave really late at night so Celestia or any of the guards wouldn't notice me gone. It wasn't easy to keep it all a secret but nopony seem to notice anything. With that out of the way, it was really easy to focus on my life and start pulling myself together. I not only started sleeping better but was also not so scared of sleeping in the dark.
I also got myself to spend more time out of my room. Misty and I started talking to get to know each other a lot more. She was odd but nice. She did take after her grandmother. She talked a lot about her power and how she learned how to control it. Misty was five when she first learned about her ability. Luckily for her, her mother believed her. Her mother could also see them like me and so she helped Misty learn how to use her power. Over the last couple of weeks, we became good friends. It was like I said before. It was nice to have someone who understood me not as a princess but as a pony. And that was Misty. She really knew how to talk to me. It was felt weird at first but it was a good kind of weird. It was nice to make a new friend.
Discord and Spike had been doing better as well. Discord had been hanging out with more ponies beside Fluttershy. I heard from Fluttershy that Spike and Discord were hanging out a lot more and that Discord was spending more time out of his house. I was so happy that Discord was doing better. It had hurt me that Discord was badly affected by what happened to us that night. I blamed myself for what had happened. Had I not followed Discord that night, none of it would have happened. He told me some of the things that had happened to him. I was shocked that Discord had to go through all of that. I wished that I was there to help him. I wished I had spoken up sooner. But I didn't know that it was happening to him. Had I known, I would have said something.
Of course, he was doing better and that was what mattered now. Discord came by the castle some time to time and we just talked. We would sit outside and spent hours just gazing at all of the stars. It helped a lot to talk to someone who really understood me. He told me that Spike, besides him enjoying his brand new pair of wings, that Spike was reading into the supernatural and was doing research non-stop. Spike was trying to know everything about it. Spending days and nights just trying to learn all that he could.
"And I thought Twilight was bad," Discord would say.
I honestly thought that Spike was crazy. He saw what the supernatural can do to ponies and how dangerous it was. And yet he wanted to go towards it and not away from. I was worried about Spike. I did fear that Spike might go too far and get into some trouble or get himself hurt. I told Spike he should forget about it and get into something else but he refused. He said it was something he wanted to know more about and that nopony was going to stop him from learning. Spike said he was done hiding from it and he was going to face it. Discord told me not to worry about it. So I let Spike go. It was his choice after all, but I wasn't so fond of it. None the less, I was just glad that it was all over and we could all move on from what happened to us.
Things were slowly coming together.
I found myself back at Shredder's club. I waited till very late at night when I knew that Celestia was asleep. I went a couple of times a week. No one knew when I left or what I did there. No matter how many times Spike begged me to help him get in and asked me to tell him what Shredder and I did, I never said anything. I told Discord a little but not that much. It's not that I didn't trust them or anything, it was mostly that I didn't want to make a big deal out of it. I wanted what happened to us to be dropped and forgotten and talking about it wasn't going to help. I knew that I was annoying Spike by just trying to forget it. But I didn't want anything to do with ghosts, spirits or anything like that. I wished that he would understand that. I usually went to his club to learn how to control my power but tonight was different. He sent me a letter that he wanted to talk to me. That it was very important. I wanted to see him before I left the next day.
"So have you seen anything lately?" Shredder asked. He was at the same desk that he was in the first time I met him. I sat in a chair across from him.
"Actually, no. Not lately." It was the first time I ever answered that question truthfully to anyone. It was a weird but yet nice feeling.
"I see."
"So what was it that you wanted to talk to me about?" I asked.
"Well you see, you are learning really fast. Faster then I thought you would. I want to know what you plan to do next."
I looked at him, confused. "I don't understand."
"I mean with your power What do you plan on doing with it?" he asked. He grabbed a bottle of wine and pour some in a small glass. "Want some?" he offered.
"Thanks, but I can't drink. Remember?"
"Right. Your wing's still broken," he said.
"And always in pain," I added.
He gave a small laugh. "I bet."
"Well, it's not as bad as it was before. I think I'm getting used to the pain," I said. I wondered if that was true. Could one really get used to feeling pain? Or did they know how to live with pain? I tried not to put much thought into it.
"Anyways, your plans?"
"All I needed was to learn how to control it. To keep them out. That's it," I said bluntly.
"One doesn't just learn to contain it, princess. They learn how to use it," he said, displeased with my answer.
"Look, I never planned on using this. I told you what I needed help on," I said, a hint of anger in my voice.
"I understand that. It's just you spent your life just blocking them off. You know you won't be able to keep doing that?" He said.
"I know that. But what do you want me to do?" I asked.
"I was hoping you would," he paused. "Help them."
I stared at him, stunned at what I was hearing."The spirits? Help them? Help the spirits? You can't be serious."
"I am," he stated calmly.
"They have hurt me my whole life, Shredder. What makes you think they deserve my help?"
I was starting to get mad at him. He couldn't be serious. There was no way. He knew all they had put me through. They attacked me, tormented me and even tried to kill me. Why would I even think about helping them? There was no way I was going to help them.
"Maybe they do. Maybe they don't. That won't stop them from trying. They will find a way to get to you. Even if you do choose to ignore them," he warned.
"I know that. But I didn't want this. I didn't want any of this. I didn't ask to born with this power."
He scoffed."You think any of us did?"
"What?" I asked.
"If you do, you're wrong. I wasn't so fond of it myself."
"Wait you didn't? But I thought-"
"You are very mistaken, princess. I didn't ask for this life as well. But I didn't run away. Running away is denying who you are," he pointed out to me. I did feel a little bad. I assumed that Shredder spent his life doing this. But even then, that didn't change my mind.
"Well, that's what you think. I think that nopony should ever live through what I did," I said. "Besides, I have a life. I have a job to do. I'm a princess. I go to the dream realm and stop ponies from having nightmares. I help get over their fears. That's what I do. Hunting ghosts...no. Spike may want to fight them but not me."
"You don't fight ghosts. You get rid of them or help them cross over," he corrected me.
"Hunting, fighting, helping, I don't care. I want no part of it!" I shouted. "You have no right to tell me how I should use my power!"
He took another sip of the wine."You're right. I don't."
I smirked."Of course, I'm right."
"I'm not trying to get you mad. I'm trying to say what's best for you," he said.
"I asked you to help me learn to control it and that's it," I snapped.
"You can't block them out forever, Luna," he said.
"You keep saying that as if I don't know!" I yelled.
"I'm preparing you."
"For what?" I asked.
"For them."
"Thanks for the concern but I can take care of myself," I snapped at him.
"Do you really want to go there?" He challenged.
"I know it was hard before. But I didn't know better. I didn't know anything then. I do now. So I'll be fine," I said.
"You know more about what you are. Which is good. However, it's not enough. You need to learn more about them." He got up from his chair and walked up to me. "Only then will you truly understand. I can't help you with that."
I looked at him with a sad face. I couldn't do what he wanted me to do. I wasn't meant for that life. Maybe some are but not me. This "gift" has done so much harm to me for my whole life. I couldn't risk going down that path. I couldn't risk getting other ponies hurt because of me. Not again. Discord and Spike went through so much because of me. I wasn't going to let anyone else get hurt by the supernatural realm. I wasn't going to suffer again because of them.
"I'm sorry. But I can't. Not after all that has happened," I said.
He stared at me for a moment before nodding. "Alright then." Was all he said
I got up from my chair."I have to go now. It's late." I headed for the before looking back at Shredder and said: "Thank you for helping me."
"It's my job to help those like you. If you need help, you know where to find me."
"Well, see you around." And I trotted out of the room.
"As always."