Life had, after a fashion, returned to Fluttershy's house, but the tense, frosty atmosphere lingered. In the moments following Rarity's dramatic rescuing of Fluttershy, she had refused to let the pegasus out of her sight; even when she'd gone into the kitchen to make them a cup of tea, she'd been careful to keep one eye firmly fixed on her. Fluttershy, for her part, was sitting not particularly comfortably in her seat, pulling the towel that Rarity had wrapped her up in tighter around herself to stave off the cold. Wet rattails of hair clung to her neck and back, and somehow that made her look even tinier than normal. She wanted nothing more than to get rid of the fussy unicorn as quickly as possible and to be done with this. Somehow, she got the feeling that it wasn't to be, though.
The one time I don't lock the door and this happens.
Fluttershy glanced in the direction of the kitchen and just as quickly turned away when she noticed that Rarity was still staring intently at her. All of this because of one missed appointment. She reflected that it would just have to be Rarity, with her flair for the dramatic, wouldn't it? Most other ponies would simply assume that they'd been stood-up and would ask for an explanation the next time they bumped into the offending party.
Once the tea was ready, Rarity returned to the living room, placing the tray on the table between them and took a seat. She hadn't yet spoken, but her eyes were filled with silent accusation. She was trying to maintain a rigid, composed posture, but it was clear to Fluttershy that she was hurting, that she couldn't understand what she'd been trying to do.
Exactly what I was afraid of.
“Rarity,” Fluttershy said quietly, not making any motion toward the tea even though the intense minty scent made it incredibly inviting, “it's not what you think, okay?”
“Oh,” replied Rarity, taking a small, ladylike sip from her own mug. She was trying – and failing – to keep her voice level, but the stress of the past hour was a dam just waiting to burst. “Isn't it? So you weren't trying to drown yourself, then?”
“No, I was not,” said Fluttershy, unintentionally snapping the words out far more harshly than she'd intended. Taking a deep breath, letting the heady aroma suffuse her nostrils and work its calming magic, she tried to quell the rising tide of emotions that she felt surging within her. As a filly, she had felt things far more keenly than others, something that had only gotten worse as she'd got older. Possibly as a side-effect of her cutie mark's influence on her, she guessed, though she couldn't be certain about that. “Rarity, you had no reason to come barging into my house like that.”
Rarity opened then shut her mouth. “It was good fortune that I did,” she said eventually, rather taken aback at Fluttershy's tone. She'd been expecting her to be remorseful about what she'd almost done, not angry because she'd been stopped. More sympathetically, she continued, “Darling, if you were having, um, problems, you could've spoken to me, to any of us, about them. I just can't understand why you tried to do-”
“-I was not trying to commit suicide Rarity,” Fluttershy said firmly, leaning forward and widening her eyes to cut her friend off before she could finish.
Sceptically, Rarity gazed at her friend; there was nothing in her expression, nothing in her words, to suggest that she was lying, but that didn't mean anything. “What were you doing, then?” she asked quietly.
Her muzzle suddenly reddening at the question, Fluttershy tore herself away from Rarity's studious look. Was this really so unexpected? She'd always known that somepony might find out about her bizarre little ritual one day, and she'd tried to prepare for it, but nothing she could think of seemed to adequately convey the experience. It wasn't something that could be described via mere words. Guilt gnawed at her, and she desperately wished that she could do the entire day over again. “It's … complicated.”
“Uncomplicate it, dear,” Rarity said in an insistent tone, “because I'm not leaving here until I'm satisfied that you're not in any danger, either from yourself or another.”
A small, stubborn part of Fluttershy demanded that she get rid of Rarity, that she remind the busybody that a pony's personal life was their own business and they were under no obligation to share any aspect of it if they did not wish to do so, but if there was one defining trait to the unicorn then it was her stubbornness: she would not let things lie until she'd explained them to her satisfaction, and she was not afraid to bruise the feelings of other to get what she wanted. Also, she would doubtless inform their other friends of this and they would, in turn, pester her for answers. “This stays between us, right?” said Fluttershy, her voice small and defeated.
“Well, that will depend on what you have to say, I suppose,” replied Rarity, folding her arms. Already, she was contemplating how to break the news to Twilight and the others; all of them cared deeply for Fluttershy, none more so than Rainbow Dash, and they would be aghast at what she had almost done. Oh, sure, she could claim that there was an innocent explanation, that it wasn't what it seemed, but what else could it be? Even if she did swear an oath not to tell another soul, she doubted that she would be able to do so. “But I will hear you out fully before I make a decision. Deal?”
Warily, Fluttershy said, “Fair enough, I guess.” It was more than she'd expected, but less than she'd hoped. She sat back in her seat, taking a moment to get her bedraggled thoughts in order. “D'you remember what it was like when you first got your cutie mark?” she suddenly asked.
“I'm not liable to ever forget that day,” Rarity replied, almost smiling at the memory of being literally dragged halfway across Equestria in order to be confronted by an enormous boulder. Still, the discomfort she'd experienced was worth it in order to discover her special talent. Some ponies got their marks in more mundane ways, but it wasn't unusual – especially considering the influence of Rainbow Dash's sonic rainboom – for such events to occur. “What does that have to do with you immersing yourself in a bathtub full of water, however?”
“A lot of ponies think that my cutie mark gives me the ability to talk to animals, to understand and relate to them, but they're wrong,” said Fluttershy, taking a long sip from her tea to rehydrate her parched throat. It wasn't dry due to overuse so much as nerves. Her voice went quiet and distant, and Rarity had to strain in order to hear her speak. “That … that power, if you will, comes from somewhere else. What my cutie mark actually does is compel me to understand animals.”
“Darling, I'm afraid that I don't quite follow your meaning,” Rarity said, frowning.
Sucking on her upper lip, Fluttershy suppressed a sigh. “I can't … I can't just walk up to a random, strange animal and instantly know everything about them, right? I have to work at it, I have to study them, and my cutie mark pushes me in a direction that I'm not quite comfortable with exploring, but it will continue to nag at me until I've figured out the lesson that it's trying to teach me.”
“I think I see.” Rarity thought for a moment, scratching her chin. “It's similar to how I will instinctively know whenever I'm in vicinity of gems, without necessarily knowing exactly where they are buried. Or how Pinkie Pie always knows when somepony needs to be cheered up.”
“Something like that, yes,” Fluttershy said, nodding her head in agreement, feeling a weight lifting from her chest. Of course, it made sense that other ponies might have comparable experiences regarding their cutie marks and she realised how stupid she was being not to have mentioned it sooner. “Being underwater … I don't find it pleasant in the slightest, yet I don't feel any fear – and you know how unusual that is – while I'm immersed. This is going to sound awfully pretentious, but I can't think of a better way to describe it. While I'm under, I gain … insight. A level of comprehension that I wouldn't otherwise have.” Fluttershy paused, shaking her head, realising how this must sound to another.
“Insight?” asked Rarity. “About animals?” Her friend was right about how it sounded, though; just for a moment, the unicorn was wondering if, rather than Twilight Sparkle, she was going to have to call for a therapist instead.
“Yes, but more than that. My mind sort of disconnects itself from my body and … well, where it goes I really can't tell you because I don't know myself, but it sort of unites with the rest of the world. Like, I'm a part of everything and everything is a part of me. I can't remember everything about the experience when I wake up, but some level of knowledge is retained because I'll always know something that I didn't previously. How to deal with manticores, how best to handle Discord, things like that.” Fluttershy forced a smile. “You think I'm crazy, don't you?”
“After everything we've gone through together, no, I don't think that you're crazy at all,” said Rarity, returning the smile, totally belying her earlier thought about needing a shrink. Fluttershy's demeanour gave her no reason not to take her at face value, however. “It sounds a little bit out there, yes, but … I believe you. How often do these, uh, urges occur? Why is the cottage so bereft of life?”
“They can happen at almost any time, but they're usually at least a few months apart, and I can ignore them up to a point before they become intolerable and I have to give in to them.” Fluttershy's expression became a grimace. “As for the cottage … well, meditation is best done without any distractions, and this struck me as a form of meditation. Also, I was worried about what others might think should they ever catch me in the act, so to speak.”
“Sounds a bit like an addiction,” Rarity said. She pulled a face. “Poor choice of words.”
“I thought that way at first,” replied Fluttershy with a slight shrug. “But then I realised that it was just a fundamental part of who I am, like your work, Rainbow Dash's flying, or Twilight's studying. They're important facets, but they aren't everything.”
Rarity let out a sardonic laugh.
“What's funny?”
“Just before coming here, I was thinking about how we sometimes have the nasty habit of pigeon-holing ponies as being just one thing when it so often isn't the case.” She locked eyes with her friend. “Fluttershy, I cannot pretend to fully grasp what it is that you're going through, but I recognise its importance both to you and to Equestria because it certainly seems that without it we would have not been properly equipped to deal with certain situations, therefore I would like to ask a favour of you?”
“Which is?” asked Fluttershy falteringly, afraid of what was to come.
“That you allow me to assist you with your meditations.”
Fluttershy raised an eyebrow, not having been prepared for that outcome. “Help? How?”
“By being present when you go under in order to ensure your safety.” Before Fluttershy could interject, Rarity held up a hoof to cut her off. “While I don't doubt that you take all necessary precautions, I would certainly rest easier knowing that your well-being is not being left up to the whims of something that neither of us properly understand. If you'd prefer, it doesn't have to be me, or even one of our other close friends, but just promise me that somepony will be there to keep an eye on you? I dread to think what might happen if you were to stay submerged for too long. Or if some accident occurred while your mind was, er, distracted.”
“What your saying makes a lot of sense,” Fluttershy finally said after a long moment's deliberation. A tic pulled the corners of her mouth into a slight smile. When the urges had first started, she'd considered asking Angel Bunny to act as a guardian, but something about them seemed so personal that she couldn't countenance sharing them with anypony else, even a much-trusted friend. She was confident that there was no real danger, but Rarity had a point about accidents: nothing could be taken for granted when you lived in a place as prone to danger as Ponyville was.
Plus, there were the practical benefits of having somepony to talk to about what she'd seen in the other place, even if they couldn't offer any useful insights they would at least offer a pressure valve to relieve some much-needed tension. “It might be a little bit scary for you,” said Fluttershy evenly. “I don't know what happens to my body while my mind goes on these little jaunts, and I wouldn't want you to be freaked out by anything that you might see or hear while I'm … away.”
Rarity nodded her understanding. “That's okay. You know how quickly I can adapt to new situations, and more importantly, I just want you to be safe.”
Smiling her first genuine smile in some time, Fluttershy said, “Thank you, I appreciate that.” Maybe having somepony know about her superpower wouldn't be such a bad thing, especially when it was her best friend; she'd often harboured the suspicion that her gift had come with the cost of robbing her of her ability to understand the behaviour of her fellow ponies, hence the frequent clumsy displays and lack of progress in her attempts to be more assertive. With Rarity, however, she'd never felt that way. It seemed right that she be the one to accompany her on this strange journey, wherever its eventual destination might be. Even assuming that it had one. On impulse, she hugged the unicorn tightly.
“You're welcome,” replied Rarity, returning the embrace.