Chief Medical Officer’s Log
Stardate: 6147.202
We are en route to Equestria… again… Not very many things have been happening with the crew in the ways of diseases and deformities. Kirk is in fine physical and mental health and not complaining about having to deal with his Med Bay being overrun by Tribbles since the one I revived with Khan’s blood decided to start making babies. We have given some to the Equestrians who, surprisingly, know how to keep their numbers in check better than we do. We have not heard from the Shackleton since our last visit to Equestria. People are saying that they can go ‘interdemensionally’ due the magic from that colt we opened being exposed to the technology of the ship. It irritates me that the Shackleton has become the flagship of the Federation for the time being. They may have a better ship but, they do not have a better crew. Stand by for more word on the matter.
I sit the Chief Medical Officer’s Log down on the table in front of me and look out the window at the stars flying by. I had thought a lot about what I said to Celestia on my last visit. I asked her if space truly was the final frontier. She never gave me a straight answer. (Which, I am kind of irritated about. Hrm… I’ll just put that in the 500-page novel of things I’m irritated about.) I looked around my office on the Enterprise and see my Celestial Medal of Honor and Applejack’s hat she gave me. I had some more stuff on my shelves like my phaser and tricorder but, I decided to get up and walk to the bridge. We were under impulse power to give the warp nacelles time to cool off. Our last planetary visit was to Alpha Testla Rissa a planet on the edge of the Tessta Rossa system with enough food to give a starship crew a fighting chance to live after crashing. I say that because the crew of the U.S.S. Excelsior were said to be there but, we found no wreckage or crew members.
I get to the bridge and hear Jim talking to Uhura about the present condition of the Equestria population. I walk up just as he finished and he turned toward me.
He started by saying,
“Hey, Bones, have you heard about the Equestrians?”
“What about them?” I replied.
“Their numbers are at 150% of what they used to be!”
“Oh.”
Sulu turned his chair around and said,
“Ready for warp, Captain.”
“Alright… Punch it.”
Sulu pushed the throttle forward and we were on our way to Equestria at maximum warp.
“So, what do you think they need us for this time, Bones?” Jim continued.
“I don’t know. They probably need me to save their planet again.”
Kirk laughed, patted me on the back and said,
“Probably, Bones. Probably.”
“Jim?”
“What is it, Bones?”
“Am I a hero?”
“Why do you say that, Bones? You’re my hero. You specifically brought me back from the dead.”
“Yeah, I know I’m your hero but, do they think I’m their hero?”
“I don’t know about that legend that Celestia told me about but, she thinks of you as the leader of that legend.”
“Why?”
“Because, between you and me, the legend, she told me, said the leader was a man in a blue shirt.”
“It’s probably talking about Spock.”
“No. It’s not, because you’ve done more for that planet than any of us have.”
“What about you, Kirk? What have you done for the planet?”
Scotty turned his chair around on the bridge and said,
“Well, you did screw Celestia to get her to change her stance on the Federation. I find that weird, screwing a horse.”
“Might I add, Scotty. You did say when we met, referring to the Enterprise, and I quote, ‘You would like to get your hands on her ample nacelles.’ I find that weird, screwing a starship.” Kirk fired back.
Scotty looked violated, like he’d just been insulted about his Scottish origins.
“That’s… That’s… different!” He stammered.
“Uh-huh.” Kirk smiled. Knowing that they had both been burned very severely. (Probably because they knew they had both been caught wanting to induce intercourse with what was once ‘considered’ an inanimate object.) “Sure, it is…”
Sulu stopped the conversing short when he said,
“Sir, ETA to Equestria, 25 seconds.”
About 20 seconds later, Kirk replied with a,
“Alright, Mr. Sulu. Drop us out of warp.”
We exited warp very suddenly and stopped abruptly.
There was wreckage of a Klingon Battlecruiser near the moon.
“Jim. I don’t like the look of this.” I told him.
“Alright. I am beaming down with you to Canterlot. Bones, bring Phasers. Set them to kill.” Kirk replied.