“Sister, what do I do?”
“We wish we could help you,” said Luna, looking to her older sister, who stood at the window, gazing towards the garden. Celestia was watching her student learn to fly, Twilight’s friends helping and comforting her. Luna knew Celestia was in pain—there were dark decisions to be made. “But our wisdom is less than yours, sister.”
“… at least she will not be alone,” said Celestia, looking away from the window and joining Luna on the pillowed floor. The privacy of the room allowed them to act informally, lounging as more normal ponies did. “Her friends … her wonderful friends will never abandon her.”
“You feared they would, did you not?” asked Luna.
“I did—but that turned out to be Discord’s magic at work,” said Celestia with a sigh and a soft smile. “They were venomous, though, and I feared that even after his defeat they would pull apart. The one blessing of this all seems to be that they’ve drawn even closer around Twilight.”
“Discord’s magic always did work in strange ways,” said Luna with a lightness to her tone. “And we admit, we have missed the cotton candy clouds and chocolate rain.”
“… that is the problem as well,” said Celestia sadly. “Twilight is Twilight and Discord is Discord. We know, even with his powers, she will be responsible and kind. But will others see it that way? I-I have, over the years, over-shielded my ponies from harm. Most fear strangeness—even a zebra is met with surprise. Dragons and griffons are seen as fierce beasts. Twilight’s appearance will be almost worse—she looks familiar enough that they can recognize her as a pony, but is so …”
“Different,” said Luna, helping her sister.
“… different, that she will seem all the more grotesque.”
From below they heard a burst of laughter and sensed Twilight had used magic again.
“I have known many a pony who looked upon grievous scars as a badge of honor,” said Luna, looking her sister in the eyes. “Knights and adventurers who bragged of their wounds as trophies. If we told everyone that her transformation was such a result and that she had been tasked with custodianship of Discord’s magic as a further service …”
“… it could work,” said Celestia with a nod. “And I have considered it. It would be ideal, for her to be accepted as the hero she is. But I feel that the wounds from Discord’s attack are still too fresh for ponies to be comfortable with such knowledge.”
“It would be better to re-open the wounds now rather than later, either by accident or on purpose,” said Luna. “I am told stitches hurt worse than the cut, but they let it heal faster.”
“… and you say I am wiser,” replied Celestia. “Tell me, sister, where did you learn of earth pony medicine?”
“One does not spend a year in the library reading of a era’s changes without learning a few things,” nickered Luna. “Though there are still many books to read before I am within a century of the modern age.”
“Hmm—it may be best for you to get out and see today yourself, sister,” said Celestia, standing. “You know of the upcoming festival of Nightmare Night?”
“… I’ve ordered a custom carriage just for it,” said Luna, glancing aside. A little blush took to her cheeks and she smiled—she had to be excited if she dropped the royal “we” from her speech. “And I daresay you’ve seen the guards I selected for my escort.”
“I have—you always liked such strange stallions,” laughed Celestia, nuzzling her sister. “I’ve never understood why you like them so macabre.”
“And I’ll never understand why you like yours pure as the driven snow,” countered Luna, rising to join her sister. They laughed, then departed for their separate duties.
“Okay, that’s the last of the nougat,” said Rainbow Dash, flicking a few flecks from her fetlocks.
“I’m really, really sorry,” Twilight Sparkle apologized again, bowing to her friends as they finished cleaning. “I didn’t think candy clouds were that hard to control.”
“mmrm mEUmdf muffrughuh!” Pinkie Pie tried to say something, but she was currently face-first into a gigantic pile of candy filling, so it was hard to understand what she’d said.
“So, dear, now that you’ve got flight down well enough, do you think we could get some lunch?” asked Rarity, magically brushing her tail back out. “We’ve an open invitation to dine in the Palace, and while it was delicious, that cake earlier did not stay with me.”
“Of course!” said Twilight, beaming. “I’ll lead the way to the kitchens!”
“Oh, Twi, ah’m not sure that’d be the best idea,” said Applejack, trotting over. “Uh, see, you know how skittish those big tough guards were?”
“Oh, yeah, the cooks would probably die of fright when they saw me,” said Twilight, blinking as she remembered. “We could simply go to one of the smaller dining rooms, and Spike could send them our order. When they come I’ll make myself invisible—wait, let’s see if I can do that.”
She stomped a hoof. Rather than vanishing, she changed color, her coat and body becoming camouflaged against her surroundings—a disguise which was ruined when she took a few steps and it no longer matched the background.
“Aaaarrrggg, I hate this stupid magic,” she sighed, tossing her mane as she changed back to normal. “It keeps doing almost what I want. And if I don’t focus on being specific, it does whatever it feels like!”
“That does make sense,” said Rainbow Dash with a shrug. “I got the feeling that Discord was only half in control of himself. I mean, did you see all the times he did something that didn’t match what he was trying to do?”
“Like when he tried to drink chocolate milk and accidentally drank the glass,” said Rarity with a nod. “Perhaps, Twilight, it’s not fully possible to control his magic.”
“Well, that’s great news,” Twilight said sarcastically. “Because I was so good at avoiding disaster before I had chaos magic leaking out of my ears—hey! That’s not fair!”
True, it was not fair, but as confetti and streamers burst from her ears, it was funny.
“All right, laugh it up,” said Twilight with a half-smile. “But I’m not going to rest until I’ve figured out how to make that happen to you.”
Sterling Silver was not an easy pony to ruffle. Like his namesake metal, he was a pony of dignity, poise, and durability. Perhaps the more metallic guards, such as Iron Cross and Steeltail, were of a more doughty and tough breed, but there were few things that could make Canterlot’s Master of Luncheons and Late Brunches upset.
At least, other than the kitchen staff using dish soap on some of the second-century pressed gold plateware. He’d been so livid he’d shouted himself into the hospital and had to take a week off after that.
But now, he was in a bind.
He, like the rest of the staff, knew of the hullabaloo from this morning when the Royal Guard had comported themselves as foals in a thunderstorm. The Captain of the Guard had locked himself in his quarters and was refusing to come out, preventing anypony from finding out what it had been about.
Rumors had abounded—from Discord returning (Sterling Silver had scoffed, as he knew that the beast had been bested) to Twilight Sparkle waking up in a magical rage and attacking everypony she met (He’d dismissed this on account of seeing the Princess walking about in an improved mood, and that would not have happened if her prize pupil was on the warpath).
Then he had been summoned by Spike, Twilight Sparkle’s familiar and an old acquaintance, to the Southern Dining Hall. The little dragon wished to place a lunch order for the Elements of Harmony, and Sterling Silver had been only too happy to accept. But when Sterling Silver had arrived, he’d immediately noticed how worried the dragon looked, repeatedly checking the door.
He’d accepted the parchment with their requests and retreated, watching the dragon scamper back inside.
He’d crept to the door and looked inside to see what was going on.
He’d nearly fainted.
The room had been transformed brutally, with the wall mosaics moving and dancing about and the chairs flying though the air. The Elements of Harmony dodged and bucked for their lives, streams of streamers bearing down on them from the empty air. And in the middle of the room, roaring, was a grotesque beast—it seemed to be Discord, but in the body of a pony.
A body he recognized. Twilight Sparkle.
He’d fled. The earth pony didn’t know what to make of the situation—he needed more information. He dared not intrude lest he be caught in the maelstrom of magic—he still remembered the hours of trying to control the castle’s cutlery during Discord’s first attack and shivered as he remembered one particularly vindictive butcher knife that had sought to deflank him.
What could he do?
He passed the throne room—Princess Celestia was meeting with ponies like nothing was wrong. She had to be able to sense the magic, so he knew something had gotten to her. She’d initially fled Discord, hadn’t she? And the guard, the guard was gone. It seemed like they had all abandoned their posts.
But as he skidded to a halt in front of the kitchen doors his quandary hit.
He was the Master of Lunches and Late Brunches.
It was his duty to feed anything that requested food between nine in the morning and two in the afternoon.
Did he flee for his life and leave his sacred duty unfulfilled? Or did he do his job, the one that defined his very being, and risk being reduced to a pot roast by a perilous possessed paring knife?
He checked the parchment. Twilight Sparkle had ordered a daisy and rosebud sandwich with potato chips.
As he continued to panic, he wondered if that information had any sort of affect on his decision.
“Okay, that’s it, no more magic for the rest of today!” shouted Twilight, kicking the last chair to the ground.
“Finally!” shouted Rainbow Dash. “This is getting ridiculous.”
“Ridiculously awesome!” cheered Pinkie, rolling in a pile of streamers. Twilight tapped a hoof and they vanished. Behind them Fluttershy and Applejack had finished boxing the murals back into their rightful places. “This is so great, Twilight! We get to have an adventure every five minutes now!”
“I’m not sure that’s an improvement, Pinkie,” sighed Twilight as things finally settled back down. “I mean, that was crazy! All I was trying to do was walk though the room and I just happened to think a few things! And they happened—I had no control! Every time my hoof touches the ground crazy things can happen!”
“It’s too bad you don’t have an switch for your magic or something,” muttered Spike, sweeping up a pile of popped balloons.
“Yeah, then I make ‘oops, did I turn you on?’ jokes all the time,” muttered Pinkie Pie with a giggle.
“A-actually, that would be pretty nice,” said Twilight, looking to her hooves. “Uh, what Spike said, not what Pinkie said. Maybe if my hooves didn’t actually touch the ground—oh, I’ve got an idea!”
“Fly everywhere for the rest of your life?” asked Dash, raising an eyebrow. “Uh, tried that. Even I couldn’t manage it.”
“No, shoes!” said Twilight.
“Oh, I like this plan already!” said Rarity, rushing to Twilight’s side. “You mean magic ones, of course, and I am just the pony to help you with that!”
“Uh … I was looking to make my hooves safe, not stylish,” said Twilight awkwardly as Rarity began to grow starry eyed.
“Who says you can’t do both?” stated Rarity, leaning over to look at Twilight’s hooves. “Hmm, well, the most obvious thing to do would be to give you full hoof coverings—you know, like the golden ones Celestia wears?”
“I-I’m not sure I’m comfortable with that!” stammered Twilight, drawing the closest leg to Rarity away. “I-I don’t want her to think I think that I’m like her - I mean, as in, you know!”
“Mm, I can see the issue, but it’s simply our best option, dear,” said Rarity, standing back up straight. “And they are finally coming back into fashion, too—I applaud the Princess for staying with a garment she liked regardless of how appropriate it was to trends in modern shoeing, but she’s going to be laughing now! They’ll be all the rage in three months and she’ll already have a full set of classic pieces!”
“Getting a little off topic there, Rarity,” said Twilight.
“Nah, let her talk about hooves some more,” Pinkie said with a giggle.
“I think some nice steel ones would suit you better than gold,” said Rarity, taking out a parchment and quill. “And you may not like it, but I think it would be best to play them off your appearance—it’ll be a unique look that nopony else will be able to copy. I’ll match one to your tail with a scale-mesh look, red gem, another to the pegasus wing with a blue gem … those will be the back hooves … front … one molded to look like dragon horn … oh, and one plain steel one with a pink and purple gem to match your mane …”
“Ah think we lost her,” said Applejack, waving her hoof in front of Rarity’s face. The unicorn did not notice.
“Well, uh, let’s just let her do her thing,” said Twilight, taking a seat.
“Hey, time for another scene change!” said Pinkie Pie, looking around. “I wonder if it’s going to be about the Luncheon Master again!”
“… I swear, you make less and less sense as time goes on,” said Rainbow Dash, giving Pinkie Pie a quizzical look.
“Oh, and make sure that Madam Applejack’s pie had been properly powdered with sugar—not very much, just enough to highlight the crust.”
The kitchen staff obeyed diligently as Sterling Silver watched, grateful that he’d finally stopped hyperventilating into a bag. By now, they all knew of the issue at hoof—but if the Master of Lunches and Late Brunches wasn’t abandoning their post, they wouldn’t either.
Plus, it would give them something to lord over the goldbricking Guard.
“All seven meals are finished, sir,” said the head chef, indicating the food cart. It was covered in trays for meals and desserts—one could order anything they wanted from the Canterlot Kitchen, but they would get a lot of other delicacies as well.
“Very well,” said Sterling Sliver, standing up straight. “Everypony, listen up. I personally will take the meal to the hall. If I have not returned in fifteen minutes, or I return and my head is a radish, you are to flee at your own discretion.”
Seeing a number of nods, he bit onto the handle and began to push the cart though the hall.
It was a long walk back to the hall. The doors came into view slowly, and, with a heavy heart, he knocked on the door. He heard scrambling from the other side and fought the urge to flee. A moment later, the door opened.
Spike and an earth pony in a farmer’s hat stood there. Behind them, the room seemed normal save for a few out-of-place chairs and a white unicorn drawing and muttering to herself.
“Uh, ah’ll take it from here,” said the farmer, taking the cart. Spike gestured with his paw—Sterling Silver recognized it as dragon sign language, the dragon’s thumb pointing to the sky. That meant “good job”. He nodded and turned.
After the door shut, he checked the make sure that his head was not a vegetable. Finding it normal, he trotted towards the kitchen to inform the staff that things were under control.
Then he would break down the door of the Captain of the Guard and raise the alarm.