Canterlot Prison was a ring of cells with the tall panopticon tower in the center, a concrete structure topped with one way mirrors like a pointless lighthouse. Phoenix and Faerie Dust pushed their way through the bulletproof glass doors into the visitor’s lobby.
The guard on duty knew and recognized them both from previous visits with Mystic Faerie, but Phoenix showed them his round, shiny attorney’s badge anyway just because he loved showing it off. Then they walked through some magical gates that would strip them of any spells that had been cast upon them, and probably were designed to detect dangerous contraband too; Phoenix neither knew nor cared about the details.
The visitor’s room was several booths with prisoners on the other side of magical glass that was permeable by sound but nothing else. Faerie Dust led Phoenix to a booth in the far back, then suddenly stopped short.
“Which is Twilight Sky behind?” Phoenix asked.
“Booth 17.” Faerie Dusty spat out the words, making Phoenix confused, until he looked at booth 17 and saw the reason for her annoyance.
Another pony was already in booth 17; a gray unicorn with a slicked, mouse-filled mane and an impeccable black suit. His cutie mark was a stick of butter sliding out of some hoofcuffs.
“Teflon Slick!” Faerie Dust shouted at him. “What are you doing here?”
The famous defense attorney wheeled his visitor’s chair back, revealing Twilight Sky sitting behind the glass, looking a little ashamed.
Teflon Slick smirked at Faerie Dust. “The same thing as you are doing, I imagine. Offering services to a client in need. Though unlike you, I actually am a successful lawyer and am not just pretending to be one to be like big sister.” He looked at Phoenix. “Or like my mistress.”
“M-Mystic doesn’t own me!” Phoenix said.
“My sister would never own slaves! How dare you!” Faerie Dust said.
“And we were insulted too…” Phoenix reminded Faerie softly.
“…And we’re not just pretending, either!” Faerie Dust said.
“Then why have you never been to trial once?” Teflon Slick asked Phoenix. “Not even for something minor? And you want to try and untangle a murder case as neatly wrapped up as this one? Why? Why endanger the chances of this poor framed pony by making him your crash test dummy?”
“I…” Phoenix hadn’t thought of it that way.
“Because you’re scum!” Faerie Dust said.
“You wound me, Little Speck, really,” Teflon Slick said.
“…Can I at least talk to him? Alone?” Phoenix asked.
Teflon Slick examined his expensive watch. “I can spare two minutes.”
“You have to convince him to let you defend him,” Faerie Dust whisper-shouted to Phoenix. “You can’t let that cheating liar…”
“I know…” Phoenix said. He waved Faerie off and took his seat across from Twilight Sky, who wouldn’t meet his eyes. “I… I’m sorry I wasn’t here for you… it’s been a crazy morning…”
“Mmm-hmm,” was all Twilight Sky said. He probably didn’t believe Phoenix.
“So… how was it?”
“Terrifying,” Twilight said. “Whadda youse think?”
Phoenix squirmed. “I’m sorry this happened… If you’ll let me fix it…”
“Is Teflon right?” Sky said. “Youse just a newbie?”
Phoenix took a deep breath. “Y-yeah, I’ve never been to trial before, but I have training and whoamIkiddingyoushouldn’tpickmeI’msorry.” He covered his mouth; even he was a little surprised how honest that was.
“Huh?” Twilight Sky stared at Phoenix in confusion.
Phoenix thought he was going to cry. He had a chance to finally help somepony and he blew it. Maybe he wasn’t ready. Maybe he’d never be ready.
“L-look, you just… you can’t go with Teflon Slick. He’s a snake. He wins by forging evidence and testimonies. You don’t want to win that way, do you?”
“He promised me he’d play fair if that’s what I wanted,” Twilight Sky said.
“And you believe him?” Phoenix said, shooting a glance at Teflon. He shuddered; to his sixth sense, Teflon was disgusting.
“I think I can tell when funny business is going on,” Twilight Sky said. “I’d catch him and he knows it.”
“At least let me give you a third option?” Phoenix said.
“The girl with the weird necklace?” Twilight Sky asked.
“No. Well, actually, yes, since Mystic has the same necklace, but, um, anyway, she’s a much better lawyer than me. Lots of experience. Saves her clients all the time and just does it with logic and law. I’m sure she’ll be willing to take your case.”
Twilight Sky didn’t look confident. “All right. If youse can get her to me before visiting hours are over, I’ll listen.”
“Thanks. I won’t let you down… a second time…” Phoenix said, sliding off the chair.
Twilight Sky went back to not meeting Phoenix’s eyes.
“If you don’t want to chose me, I… I understand…” Phoenix swallowed. “It hurts because this has always been my dream and I finally had a chance and I feel like I blew it but I don’t blame you I can’t I don’t.” Wow, what an awkward thing to say. His cheeks grew red and he snuck off.
“So?” Faerie Dust said as Teflon Slick passed Phoenix to resume his conversation with Twilight Sky.
“He’s open to hearing Mystic Faerie’s offer,” Phoenix said.
“Not you?” Faerie Dust wilted.
“He… he’s right. I have no courtroom experience at all… unless you count being a silent partner which sort of counts but doesn’t really…” Phoenix said.
Faerie Dust’s lips quirked. “And you once shouted objection when you were in court as a colt, right?”
“Ahahaha…” Phoenix rubbed his spikey mane with one hoof. “A-anyway, I really should start small. Petty theft and vandalism and the like. Mystic started that way too.”
“Yeah… I just wasn’t around to see it so I guess I forgot…” Faerie Dust said. “Anyway, let’s run and fetch Sis.”
***
When the two got back to the office, Mystic Faerie was back at her desk, munching an avocado sandwich while she worked.
“Sis!” Faerie Dust said, reaching the senior lawyer’s desk first. “Phoenix has a case you can take!”
“You got arrested again?” Mystic Faerie asked Phoenix, incredulous.
“No no no, I’m not the client this time,” Phoenix said. “It’s a pony named Twilight Sky-”
“Ohhhh…” Mystic said, wincing visibly. “You mean the one who killed that cop.”
“Yes!” Phoenix said. “I mean, no! I mean, how did you hear about it?”
Mystic Faerie telekinetically shuffled papers. “Perfect Karma was watching the trial this morning and he told me some details.”
“Is Perfect Karma going to be Twilight Sky’s prosecutor, then?” Faerie Dust said, cocking her head, confused.
Phoenix was confused too. Perfect Karma was known throughout Canterlot for never losing ever. So to keep his own reputation intact, Teflon Slick never faced off against Perfect Karma.
Mystic Faerie sighed heavily. “No, he said, quote, the case against Twilight Sky is so airtight that even Cross Examine can’t possibly fail to get a guilty verdict, unquote. And frankly, he’s right.”
“Except he’s not!” Phoenix said. “I talked with Twilight Sky and he insists he’s innocent, and he’s not lying.”
“And as we all know, you’ve never been wrong before,” Mystic Faerie said bitterly.
Phoenix felt like he’d been kicked in the stomach. He hung his head in shame.
“That’s not fair,” Faerie Dust said. “She was different.”
“But if it happened once, it can happen again,” Mystic Faerie said calmly. “And that means I have to evaluate every source available, and my instincts are telling me I can’t take this one.” Then, after a long pause, “I’m sorry, Phoenix.”
“Don’t lie,” Phoenix said with a shiver.
Mystic Faerie’s expression shifted to impatience. “I’m trying my best. Sometimes ponies say things their heart isn’t in to be diplomatic. That’s not the same as a lie.”
Phoenix didn’t answer.
“So I guess we go tell Twilight no…?” Faerie Dust said sadly.
“If you want, Sis; Phoenix and I have business to talk about.”
“Ok…” Faerie Dust stared at the floor sadly.
Then, in one suddenly fluid motion, she dove at Phoenix and wrapped her forelegs around his neck. For one beautiful moment Phoenix was in her warm embrace; then just as abruptly as she’d done so, she ran off, her cheeks flushed slightly. Phoenix felt his own cheeks growing red too; he touched his neck wistfully and smiled after her.
“Phoeniiiiiiiix!” Mystic growled.
“Wha- hey!” Phoenix said, whirling around. “Th-that wasn’t something I did! You can’t be mad at me for that!”
“Well, you could have pushed her away or told her no instead of doing that moony thing,” Mystic Faerie said.
“M-moony thing…?”
“But that’s behind us.” Mystic Faerie flipped her mane. “Now let’s talk about things you can do this afternoon.” She paused, giving him an icy look. “To make up for the broken window, of course. You didn’t forget, did you?”
Phoenix tucked his tail between his legs. “No…”
“Good.” Mystic Faerie used her magic to tear a piece of legal paper off her notepad. “I made a list of errands for you to run; try to get them all done before I leave at 7 tonight, and there’ll be more tomorrow.”
Phoenix looked over the list; some of them were names of witnesses to track down and interview, while others were books to find. There was also ‘pick up dry cleaning.’ And ‘clean the office toilet.’
Phoenix lowered his ears sadly. “It’s not really law work…”
“You should have thought of that before you smashed my window,” Mystic Faerie said. “Now don’t be whiny; that’s not even three hours of work. But the list won’t get any shorter if you just sit there staring at it.”
Phoenix took the list and left the office, head hanging.
***
Why did law books have to be so heavy…?
Phoenix staggered through the street; two lawbooks were in each of his saddlebags and one was balanced between his two hidden wings. Despite the small number, his spine felt ready to snap, but he couldn’t walk faster than a snail’s pace. The fact that passerby ponies kept bumping into him didn’t help.
“Hey, little bro-in-law, let me help youse out a bit.”
Phoenix stiffened at the familiar voice, but it was too late to dodge. Four hooves slammed into his back as somepony landed on top of him. His legs gave way immediately and his nose hit the sidewalk; he thought he could hear some teen fillies giggle somewhere nearby.
“Aw, sowwy, I thought youse was a big, strong stallion,” Shocking Snap said, twisting her head to look Phoenix in the eyes without getting off his back. “Here, look what I can do.”
Shocking Snap’s face became a blue blur to Phoenix’s eyes; a bolt of blue lightning struck from the spot where she was standing to a nearby lamppost and crawled up it, finally turning back into Shocking Snap at the top of the lamppost. She beamed down at Phoenix. “There, youse see? Now youse don’t got so much to carry. Ain’t I nice?”
Phoenix didn’t feel like feeding the parasprites, so he wordlessly attempted to drag himself upright again.
“What’s eatin’ youse? Why so serious?” Shocking Snap jumped down from the lamppost and landed next to Phoenix.
Phoenix just kept walking.
“Hey, I’m talkin’ to youse,” Shocking Snap said, weaving to block his path. “Anypony’d think youse aint’ fond of yer own sister-in-law.”
“Wonder why that would be?” Phoenix asked, his voice heavy with sarcasm.
“I jist wanted to wish youse good luck.”
“On…?” Phoenix cocked his head, legitimately confused.
“Yer first trial. Word is youse gonna be the defense attorney for that murderous featherpone.”
“Well, word is wrong,” Phoenix said, walking around Shocking Snap. “I don’t want to talk about it and I don’t like you.” The last part just slipped out. Oh dear.
“Huh.” Shocking Snap’s eyebrows went up. “Who’s the lucky attorney then?”
“Teflon Slick.” Phoenix Flight dragged himself farther away, just grateful she wasn’t electrocuting him yet. Maybe Mystic’s threats to stick her with assault charges worked.
Shocking Snap shrieked with laughter. "My old pal Teflon? Youse lost to him? No shocker. Get it?"
"How many times do I have to tell you to buzz off before you listen!?" Phoenix shouted.
"Hey, fine, I can take a hint." Shocking Snap switched to calling as she moved farther away. "Hey, youse see yer good-for-nuthin' brother around, tell him to come home and give his wife the tender love I deserve!"
"Mechanical Flight won't come within ten miles of Canterlot just because you're in it!" Phoenix shouted over his shoulder. "Certainly won't risk it to see me of all ponies."
Shocking Snap struck what was probably a seductive pose. "He don't appreciate what he's missing out on."
Phoenix didn't even dignify that with a response. Just whirled around and got as far as he could from that disgusting liar.
***
The rest of the day was spent doing menial chores around the office. When Mystic Faerie left for the night, Phoenix tried to persuade her to not lock the door, but she just shook her head and sighed and told him horror stories about burglars and slavers until Phoenix withdrew his request. His last thoughts before going to sleep that night were wishes that he could stop being such a doormat.