One fine Tuesday afternoon, Grapes came out onto her back porch after school had let out, looking for her fellow teacher. She had an idea about coordinating some of the things he was teaching to his literature class with her own. It surprised her how surprisingly literate he was for a rough-and-tumble type. He could accurately quote Shakespeare, Nietzsche and Tolstoy... and even spell their names correctly.
“Has anyone seen Squall?”
“Oh he’s out back, spending some time alone while polishing his Dinghy.” Sirocco answered.
Grapes took a moment to process this information before replying.
“All bad innuendo aside, why does he have a boat in my backyard?” Grapes asked. “And how did he get it here? He still has trouble driving stick.”
“One of his belly-button buddies dropped it off,” explained Sirocco, looking out the back window where the old sailor was working on the finish of the aforementioned vessel. “Something to do with a last request.”
“‘Belly button buddies’?” Grapes said, looking slightly perturbed.
"I think she means a 'naval' associate,” Queenie explained. Grapes facepalmed.
“Sirocco has trouble with homophones, doesn’t she?” Grapes asked.
“Homophones, idioms, sometimes acronyms. She’s picking it up slowly but really… English is pretty hard to learn,” Queenie agreed, defending her friend’s idiosyncrasy. “It doesn’t just borrow from other languages. It follows them down dark alleys, beats them up and then roots through their pockets for loose grammar.”
“And you just paraphrased James D. Nicoll,” Grapes observed with a smirk.
“Really? Well, I just learned something.” Queenie chuckled, joining Sirocco in watching Squall. “He’s really something isn’t he? A man of many talents, and you’d be surprised of the muscle he has. For a man his age he’s quite… ur… I believe the word ‘ripped’ is the correct one?”
“That would be the current vernacular for his impressive physique, yes,” Grapes observed. “Another term would be ‘cut’, which refers to him cutting a fine figure.”
“Then yes. Yes that describes him. Granted I suspect his birthday suit requires some ironing but in the end there’s a lot more muscle under that gregarious personage that one may think. I pity the student that tries to push him too far.”
“Funnily enough, the student that tries to push me too far ends up with extra assignments… And she likes them,” Grapes observed with a chuckle. “Time flies doesn’t it? Can’t believe we’re already halfway through October… And there’s this big dance coming up at the school. The little darlings will be positively distracted all week. Never mind this whole princess thing...”
“Tell me about it. The last time I wore a crown was....” Queenie trailed off and giggled. “Well… that was mainly for a photoshoot.”
“Princess of the Fall Formal,” Grapes sighed. “Sunset’s becoming more insufferable, because she’s won it before.”
“I know of the formal. My father’s company is supplying some of the buffet for it, the Apples the rest. Say what you will about Canterlot High but they do buy local when they can. Still… this Sunset girl. Is she as intense as you say?”
“Oh yeah. She’s a gifted student, and will let you know it, right off the bat… Problem is, she really is gifted. Just need to deflate the ego,” Grapes observed with a sigh.
“Even Mozart had his limits. Maybe you just have to find hers.” Queenie offered. “I wish I could help but I’m not much of an educator. My forte is more the application of the practical.”
“I am trying to be practical, yet engaging. Making use of techniques they use in video games to engage young minds. I’m having to do it slowly, though, and minimally, because I’m an intern and won’t have tenure,” Grapes observed.
“Oop. Here he comes.” Queenie said as Squall came up the back stairs and into the building.
He wiped the sweat from his brow, straightened his shirt and pulled a flask from his back pocket before noticing his audience.
“Oh. Hello, ladies. I trust I’m not interrupting ye right now,” Squall said his eyes going to each woman on the porch in turn.
“It wasn’t anything important,” Grapes observed, as she leaned against the porch post. “Though I am considering adding docking fee to your rent. Not much, but just to help pay for the extra wear and tear on my yard from the trailer your boat is sitting on.”
“Oh, sorry about that, lass. An old navy buddy passed on and left me some of his property to distribute as I see fit. I was cleaning up the old girl and thinking of maybe putting her in the local park as a bit of play equipment for the young ‘uns.”
“That is actually rather magnanimous of you, Squall.” Queenie said as she let herself imagine it. “You are planning on making it landlocked of course so they don’t take it out to sea?.”
“Oh aye, Queenie. Some good concrete forms around her hull will keep her in place and a gangplank leading on board. I may even have a rope net on the other side they can climb on board with, as well as pretend to be fishing with.”
“Be sure you get permission from the city to add your boat to the park. Otherwise they may just demolish your generous contribution,” Grapes said with a sigh.
“Ah bureaucracy.” Squall muttered as he took a swig from his flask. “Pirates without the enthusiasm. They will meet their match in me, for I have seen the military in all it’s forms…. Get it? Forms… as in having to fill out forms?”
“Ha,” Grapes uttered, dryly.
“So how did yer day go at the school? Mine was fairly uneventful. I got the class into reading Hamlet. It’s not easy to sell them on the writings of ‘some funny-talking guy in tights who lived a THOU-sand years ago’,” He said, enunciating the description like an eight year old relaying a personal opinion of Shakespeare.
“Got them doing the ‘link game’ as homework,” Grapes said. “Kind of like that ‘Six degrees of Handsome Hamhock’ game that folks do for fun. They’ve got to find the links between two different points in history with the fewest links, and show their work. Kind of helped I had them watch that old ‘Connections’ show to get and idea of how that worked.”
“Aye. that should be fun. Like how Your Cell Phone is just a few steps from a Hollywood starlet from the 40’s,” He paused a moment and put his hat over his heart. “Bless you Hedy Lamarr, and yer Spread Spectrum Technology breakthroughs.”
“Hm… Sounds like I should have included those in my plot your path game,” Grapes mused. “Anyway, was wondering if you were wanting to coordinate some of your literature classes with my history classes. They seem to have you earlier than me, and it may shock some of the hooligans that the people Shakespeare was writing about actually existed.”
“Oh certainly. There are quite a few historical touchstones there. The war, the kinds of schools available, the fact that college buddies never seem to change,” Squall chortled. “I should actually encourage them to act it out a little too. I wonder who would want to play Ophelia?”
“Diamond Tiara,” Grapes said without hesitation.
“Oh! That could be entertaining. It might be a hammy performance but it would at least be high-priced ham.”
“Surprised her doting papa didn’t send her to a high-priced school. Unless he thought it would do her some good to mingle with the peasantry,” Grapes quipped. “Probably have to start it next week, though. Fall Formal falls on Friday, facilitating flexibility in fundamental functionality.”
“Oh yes.. The dance is coming up. I fergot about that. I may have the students write an essay on it from their point of view as an assignment. I can’t make the wallflowers dance or force the anti-social to attend but I can entice them to do so for an extra credit.”
“Kind of went off on the history of dance, myself,” Grapes observed with a chuckle. “I imagine I’ll have a bunch of juvenile snickering about ‘fertility’ dances, especially when I get to the symbolism of the Maypole.”
“What is a Mabel?” Sirocco asked. “And what is so simple-like about it?”
“May. Pole,” Grapes enunciated, making sure she was heard correctly, she then wrote down the word. “And ‘symbol.’ ‘Ism’. Symbolism. Symbolism means the use of symbols to represent ideas or qualities. For example you know about traffic lights, yes?”
“Oh yes. Yes I do. I had to take the diving test for my license. Red means Stop, Green means Go Fast, Yellow means go VERY fast,” Sirocco said cheerfully.
“First of all your instructor should be taken out and shot for giving you the wrong information. Second, it’s ‘driving test’. Third you got red correct. However yellow means slow down, and green means go,” Grapes explained. “Anyway, the colored lights are examples of symbols. Unfortunately symbol has a homophone that’s a percussion instrument. Spelled cee, why, em, bee, aye, ell. That cymbal is a plate shaped object either put on a stand with a drum kit, or used in pairs to produce a kind of crashing sound.”
“Ah. That is good to know. So a Sect Cymbal is NOT some manner of religious instrument?”
“Sometimes, I swear…” Queenie said giggling. “I SWEAR that she does it on purpose.”
“Wrong word and homophone, Sirocco. The phrase is ‘sex symbol’. Ess, ee, ex. Ess, why, em, bee, oh, ell,” Grapes explained. “You have to pay as much attention to the context in which words are used, along with the words themselves. A ‘sex symbol’ is a person, usually an actor or actress, who happens to be in the opinion of the given observer particularly attractive, and makes them think of… Well I’m sure you get the idea… I hope.”
“I do now… I believe. A Cymbal is an instrument of sound, a Symbol is something that which represents another thing, A Sect is a religious group while Sex involves physical attraction.” Sirocco paused a moment before furrowing her brow. “So was Firestormer having fun with me when he suggested I should show great caution in religious beliefs by seeking out Safe Sects?”
Grapes facepalmed. “It’s possible he was cautioning you in making sure your social life doesn’t result in unexpected surprises. He was talking about sex, the pleasurable application of interpersonal friction for mutual gratification. Not sects, offshoots of established religious institutions. And if it was Firestormer who instructed you about traffic signals, I’ll take him out and shoot him myself. With the garden hose on a really cold day, aiming for his block and tackle, so to speak. That is yet another fun linguistic bit of shenaniganry called an ‘euphemism’. They’re kind of like puns but you’re using tame words to say naughty things.”
“Ah. I see. I shall attempt to keep these things in mind,” Sirocco said thoughtfully.
“Note to self, get you a book of common idioms and phrases,” Grapes said with a sigh. “Wonder what tomorrow’s going to bring… Hopefully nothing too out-of-the-ordinary.”
The next morning Grapes went to school, and went about her routine as usual. Teaching her first history class of the day. After that first class, Grapes walked through the entry hall, seeing a girl she had never seen before staggering around as if she was unused to being on two legs. This new girl had long purple hair with a darker purple stripe and a magenta streak right beside it. She wore a light blue blouse with puffed shoulders and a magenta bow at the neck with a dark purple skirt with a magenta star pattern on it. Her legs were covered with either really thick socks or leg warmers with an argyle pattern of lilac and white on a dark purple background with magenta cuffs, and a pair of black shoes.
“If this was college, I’d assume she’s either drunk or seriously hungover,” Grapes mused internally. “Wonder if she’s a special needs kid?”
Several Neurological disorders, or maybe an inner-ear issue could explain the curious gait of this new girl. It was hard to tell, but if she was ‘special needs’ no doubt she would hear about her soon enough. Teachers gossiped like washerwomen on laundry day and they had a central private watering hole to do it in away from prying ears.
Again the same kids gave her difficulties with their ‘quirks’. Sunset by being so brilliant she practically blinded herself, Snips and Snails by being so… oblivious and then there was Trixie who was bright but unfocused. Grapes caught her doodling in her notebook yet again, and sighed. Trixie’s ongoing saga of “The adventures of the Great and powerful Trixie” was sadly not going to top any best-sellers lists unless she heeded more of Squall’s literature lessons. Though there was one interesting occurrence after the post lunch History class.
Sunset was seething, and Applejack looked positively jubilant.
“Well well. You look positively perturbed, Sunset Shimmer. A bee crawl into your bonnet, and upset your perfect world order?” Grapes asked a sardonic eyebrow raised.
“Jus’ Miss Shimmer gettin’ a bit of an upset to her applecart,” Applejack said smugly. “Looks like we’re gonna have an actual contest this here Fall Formal. Tha new girl signed up fer tha Fall Formal Princess ballot.”
“New girl?” Grapes asked. “The only new girl I saw, today, was the one with the purple hair who looked like she was having trouble with balancing on two legs.”
“Really? She seemed ta be walkin’ fine earlier…” Applejack observed.
“Huh. Must have been an inner ear thing, then,” Grapes mused.
“Those two had better get the dirt I wanted on that Twilight Sparkle,” Sunset muttered, glaring out the door, arms crossed. She had obviously thought she had said it quietly enough to evade notice, however…
“Why thank you, Sunset Shimmer, for guiding my decision on our next history lesson,” Grapes said with a smirk. “Since there seems to be some political shinanagainary going on, on your end, we’ll be discussing political shinangainary in history. Dirty campaigns, mudslinging, backstabbing, both literal and figurative. I’ll be looking forward to it, and I hope you will be too.” The look on Sunset Shimmer’s face was priceless. “Thankfully, we were already studying Rome. An study in just why a political system can’t hold once violence has been introduced will the the final thing to show Rome’s fall… And hopefully a lesson for our resident genius.”
The rest of the day went relatively smoothly, Grapes making use of her free time to set up her politically oriented lessons for the next few days, so her students in her afternoon class can learn that running a dirty campaign will eventually end in disaster. Grapes did wonder why the new girl didn’t end up in her history class, though. It was a mystery, but it wasn’t one she dwelled upon, when she went to her car to wait for Earshot. She couldn’t remember if Stormfront was teaching today or not but she wasn’t going to let Earshot have to depend upon the bus system.
He was fairly self-sufficient most of the time but it really was asking a lot for a ‘legally blind’ kid to take solo trips on the bus on a regular basis until he had time to fully acclimatise to the system. That would require Stormy, or Squall or herself to more or less ‘walk’ him through it. The last thing Earshot needed was to hop the wrong bus and wind up on the wrong side of the tracks. So-to-speak.
Stepping out of the front door of the school Grapes noticed Desi over by the statue on the front walk. He was busy polishing the strangely reflective panels surrounding the base… at least it LOOKED like he was. His actions seemed a little, well, ‘off. Like he was merely aping the actions of polishing. ‘Going through the motions’ one might say. The geiger counter sitting next to him did not inspire any good feelings inside of Sour Grapes either. She shook her head and sighed. A long day at the school had made her even more tired than she first thought. She bid Desi a good evening and finding her car, she waited for Earshot. May as well give him a ride home, since they were going to the same place.
It was about ten minutes later that Earshot showed up. She soft ‘tick tick tick’ of his cane heralding his approach. Collapsing the white cane into a pocket-sized bundle he got in and smiled.
“Thank you for waiting miss Grapes. I got to talking to some of the other kids and nearly lost track of the time.”
“No problem. It seemed silly to not give you a ride home, since we’re going to the same place,” Grapes said getting in, herself. “Looking forward to the Fall Formal on Friday?”
“Yes Ma’am,” he replied. “Things are getting weird though. Quick Buck has a betting pool going on to see who gets the crown.”
“Let me guess, Sunset Shimmer’s in the lead, right?” Grapes asked with a smirk.
“Of course. She’s the uh… ‘sure thing’. But there’s someone new on the list. I think they said she’s called ‘Skylight Spackle’.”
“That’s an interesting name.”
“Well, I’m not POSITIVE that I heard it right. But it’s something along that line.”
“Maybe ‘Twilight Sparkle’?” Grapes asked as they made their way through traffic. “I happen to have Miss Shimmer in my afternoon history class, and I heard her mention something about ‘Getting dirt on Twilight Sparkle’... And that prompted me to change the subject from history of dance to the history of dirty politics, starting with the brothers Gracchi.”
They soon pulled into the boarding house’s driveway, and Grapes parked in the garage, taking out her work so she could grade papers, and work some more on her new lesson plan. She walked with Earshot into the house. She went to her desk, setting her work on it, and went to the kitchen to fix herself a bite to eat, and something to drink. She then went to her desk, pulling out various reference books and set to work on her next couple days worth of lessons.
It was surprisingly quiet this night. She recalled that Squall had to go to the local legion to meet with some friends of his, Queenie had some manner of family business to attend to and Sirocco had gone with her. Firestormer was doing some light busking in the park just for the heck of it and Stormy… he said he was going out but she had no idea where or for how long. Other than Earshot she was alone in the house.
Come to think of it, where was he? She got up and started moving through the house, he wasn’t in his ‘nook’… or rather small room in the servant’s corridor. He wasn’t in the kitchen or anyone else’s room for that matter. She wandered into the music room and flicked on the lights and was immediately greeted by a cry of pain and some words that while she was unaware what they actually meant, in a contextual way they sounded very unwholesome.
“PLEASE! Lights!” Earshot cried, covering his eyes. “Turn off the lights!”
“Oh! Sorry, Earshot,” Grapes said clicking off the lights. “Also language, young man. I may not know your native tongue, but I recognise cursing when I hear it.”
“Fair enough.” he consented cautiously pulling his hands away. “Oh that stings. I wasn’t ready for that. Did you need me for something?”
Grapes looked over and saw that Earshot was making productive use of the long rectangular top of the harpsichord. His homework was laid out upon it along with several items that included an inkwell, a small oil lamp and.. Was that an abacus? Just how ‘rural’ was Earshot’s region anyways?”
“Just was checking up on you. With everybody out it’s kind of quiet in here,” Grapes said with a sigh. “And sorry about the lights…
“That’s okay. I’m usually pretty good with it if I wear my goggles but it’s just easier to read regular print without them.”
“I thought your textbooks were in braille?”
“The school couldn’t find braille for all of them, and some of them have pictures.” He paused a moment and chuckled. “Huh. So that’s what my heart would look like. I did not know that.”
He dipped his stylus into the inkwell and made some surprisingly precise-looking notes in his notebook.
“The oil lamp gives me a nice soft light to work with so I can read the textbooks without having to see the world through spinach-colored glasses. It must be so much easier to be like you daylighters… I mean normal people. I can see perfectly by moonlight but when the sun rises everything becomes this odd… alien world to me. Crowded… Busy… Loud… Everything's the same but so different when the sun rises.”
“I imagine… But you have your eyes the way they are, and I don’t know if anything can be done, except with more technology,” Grapes observed. “But you seem to work well enough without a lot of modern conveniences. Anyway let me know if you need anything. I’ll be at my desk working on my lesson plan and grading papers.”
“All right. Thank you Miss Grapes.” he said, setting his science book aside and opening his math book. She watched him for a minute while he read the questions, but his fingers moved over the abacus without him even having to look at it. Wooden beads clicked softly in the shadows while answers were inscribed on paper with the other hand. It was an interesting interlude, seeing this moment of anachronistic diligence. Most kids his age would have been using their smartphones, Grapes couldn’t help but wonder if they might think he was somehow cheating by using a real-world device to do his math. Grapes chuckled at the thought, and went back to her desk to work. The grading papers didn’t take long, but her topic for the next couple of days, if her Friday class didn’t get taken over by dance prep, took some research, and preparation.
One by one the so-called ‘Storm Riders’ returned to the house. First Queenie and Sirocco who were discussing figures and trends in the frozen foods industry for some reason. Then Firestormer, who looked slightly tipsy but still in controls of his faculties. He pinned a note to the cork-board in the front hallway reminding himself where he had parked his motorcycle before hailing a taxi. Squall was next, he actually looked even more rumpled and carried a strong, if not overpowering smell of whiskey upon him. He silently tipped his hat to her and went straight to bed.
Stormy was the last to arrive, he smelled of perspiration and dropped the large duffle bag he carried with him at the front door before heading to the kitchen and getting a drink of water. Grapes caught up with him in there as he drained a glass that to her was more of a pitcher.
“Tomorrow’s Thursday. Want a ride to Canterlot High for your dance classes there?” Grapes asked.
“Sure thing.” He said, smiling at her. “Frees up a little extra time in my schedule that I can put to good use. I can’t tell you how many guys have been asking me advice for ‘how to dance with a girl’ lately.”
“Seriously?” Grapes asked with a laugh. “That’s got to be… interesting to say the least.”
“Yeah. I usually start the lesson with “Step one… go up to the girl and ASK her.” He chuckled and shook his head. “I’d rather not waste some perfectly good dance tips on a a bunch of wallflowers… except Wallflower herself. Nice kid, good head on her shoulders.”
“I don’t think I have her in any of my classes,” Grapes mused thoughtfully.
“She’s heavy in the Sciences programs this semester, mainly botney. Maybe next semester she’ll wander into your tender care.” Stormfront refilled the glass from the tap and smirked. “Best advice I could give those kids is to just be themselves. At the end of the day, no one can take THAT from them.”
“That’s true,” Grapes said nodding. “Well, if you need any help, and I have a free period, let me know, okay? I’ve just about finished my lesson plan about dirty campaigning.”
“Dirty campaigning? Does this have anything to do with the current crown race?”
“Why yes. I overheard Sunset Shimmer mention getting dirt on her competition, so I figure why not teach the downsides of running a dirty campaign?” Grapes asked. “The very first lesson happens to be about how mob rule and demagoguery brought down the Roman Empire. Well the endless wars, importation of foreign labor and overextension of said empire had roles, too, but the introduction of violence into the political process did play a large part. Anyway we’ll be leaving before school starts, so we’d both better get some sleep.”
“Oh definitely.” he said draining the glass in long slow draughts. “Those girls really wore me out tonight.”
“What girls?” Grapes inquired curiously.
“Oh, the girls that come to my lessons at the North End Community Centre. The type who can’t afford proper ballet lessons uptown so I take some old pointe shoes there and try to let them fulfill some dreams. At least until they decide whether or not they want to dedicate themselves to it or not.”
Stormy opened his bag and showed Grapes how it was full to the brim with all sizes of those ballet shoes with the bullet-hard toes. Part of her wondered how he would explain to a cop that looked in there that he wasn’t some kind of fetishist… and another part of her wanted to try on a pair.
“Oh. You’re teaching ballet at a community center?” Grapes asked. “That’s rather generous of you.”
“A little. I just… know what it’s like to have a dream. In my case it was being able to walk without causing a swathe of devastation from my being so klutzy. If my cure helps to brighten someone else’s day then so be it,” Stormfront replied with a smile.
“Nice to know what you do some nights. See you in the morning for the commute, Stormfront,” Grapes said, heading to her part of the house.
“G’night Grapes. See you in the morning.”
That night Grapes had dreams of sitting in an audience and watching Stormfront performing some ballet thing up on stage… wearing a pink Tutu. Grapes woke up the next morning grumbling about weird dreams, as she got dressed, and went down to breakfast.
Sirocco was already up and had the coffee machine chugging away with her own special blend. Grapes loved it but suspected the intensity of the caffeine was enough to eat a hole in her tablecloth… or stain it brown for the rest of eternity. The aroma of this thick liquid mana alone was enough to pry your eyes open. The two exchanged pleasantries as they set about making the rest of breakfast. Pancakes from powder mix was the order of the day, and for topping Squall had a bottle of something he got from a Canadian friend of his… surprisingly enough it wasn’t maple syrup. It was Saskatoon Syrup, and to be honest it was pretty good.
Firestormer on the other hand brought Jalapeno Jelly to the table. It astonished Grapes that anyone could have such a fireproof digestive tract… and she pitied Queenie when she mistook it for strawberry jelly and put a heaping quality on her toasted bagel. After sucking on an ice cube long enough to get her tongue working again she tore a few strips off of Firestormer… or tried to. He was too busy laughing to really get the full verbal lambasting. Grapes checked her watch.
“Okay, folks, whoever’s going with me had better get ready to head out,” Grapes said getting up and going to gather her work. “I’ve still got some finishing touches to put on my next few lessons, and I’m sure Stormy has to set up for his classes today.”
Stormfront and Earshot were both packed and ready to go. Squall of course having his own car would head out on his own time, after dealing with the dishes. The rest were on their way to the university.
All three went to the car, got in, and headed toward Canterlot High for another day of educational hijinx. Grapes didn’t know what to expect today to bring, except it being a day closer to the Fall Formal. The teacher expected her students to be more distracted than ever, and who knows what will be happening on Friday. Grapes fully expected classes to be canceled, or truncated for the sake of the dance. In the meantime she would teach her classes as best she can, today.
Grapes’ morning history class went well enough, only a few snickers about ‘fertility dances’ from the dumbed down duo. Then Grapes took the time to lend a hand to Cheerilee in the library. Apparently the new girl had been doing a lot of research and forgot to put up the majority of the books she had used. Much of the subject matter made Grapes raise an eyebrow. A lot of recent history, books about sports, agriculture and other interests. It was as if somebody from another country but with the ability to read the language, here, was trying to find talking points to discuss with their fellow students. Then there were the ones about washroom etiquette, the use of cutlery, how to improve handwriting, and the education system as a whole. Interesting subjects, but when taken all together, it made whoever was doing all this research seem like they may not have been a human for very long. At least that was the mental deduction that Grapes had come to, but that seemed like it was very unlikely.
After her stint in the library, Grapes’ free period found her hanging out in the gymnasium watching Stormfront attempt to teach some of the students, including a very bored looking Sunset Shimmer, how to couple dance.
“Look. It’s not as hard as you believe. Just stop overthinking things.” Stormy said pushing pause on the boombox. “First of all if everyone dances, nobody looks stupid. Right?”
The students made some non committal noises causing Stormy to take a deep breath to keep his patience.
“Psh, of course somebody looks stupid,” Sunset said in her usual snarky tone. “It’s usually the idiots who haven’t figured out their right foot from their left. But then, if everybody looks stupid, then I can only look better in comparison.”
“Well somebody’s in a good mood, this afternoon,” Grapes snarked from her position of leaning against the wall by the gym door. “You already learn the wrong lesson before I even start?”
“Gah! You? Don’t you have a class to teach?” Sunset uttered startled.
“Free period, hon. Even teachers get them,” Grapes replied with a smirk.
“Grapes! Pleased to see you!” Stormfront called out and quickly moved over to where she was, apparently grateful for the distraction. “These people are just so… They’re supposed to be learning couples’ dancing and it’s like… You know when you put two magnets together the wrong way and they repel?”
“Well, a good rule of thumb is to lead by example,” Grapes suggested.
“That’s a good plan, but where am I gonna get a partner on such short notice?” Stormfront asked, looking a bit harried.
“Oh, I’ve been known to cut a rug or two from time to time,” Grapes said walking over to where Stormfront was holding the class. “Nothing professional, but plenty of natural talent.”
“That’s wonderful. Right. Ok. Um… Any musical preferences to get a fire lit under these quasi-pubescent stiffs?”
“Could always pick something spicy,” Grapes said with a chuckle. “Show them that couples’ dances aren’t all waltzes, and foxtrots.”
“Sometimes they’re mating displays,” laughed Snails, he being in Grapes’ morning history course.
“You’re not far off, my dear mollusk,” Grapes said airily, garnering a blank look from the teal haired boy, causing Sunset to facepalm.
Stormfront’s fingers moved nimbly through the collection of CD’s until he found one and popping it from it’s clam-shell inserted it into the Boombox. The sound of a lively acoustic guitar filled the air. By the time the rest of the instruments and the singers caught up, Grapes had recognized it as one of her favorite Latino numbers… Bamboléo by the Gypsy Kings. By this time Stormfront was gyrating his shoulders and smiling as he moved nimbly across the floor.
“Remember what I said, kids. Don’t overthink about it. Just let the music tell you what to do.”
In the meantime Grapes had casually started doing a lively dance of her own, joining Stormfront in a very lively Latin style dance. Part rhumba, part passo doble, but too fast for a mambo, still it was a sizzling display that probably shocked the students who knew Grapes from her history classes.
“When in doubt kids…” He said, staring into her purple eyes. “Hand to hip with hand to hand for the Lead, And Hand to shoulder with hand to hand for the one following. And don’t be afraid to get in… close.”
She felt the hand on her hip pull her against him, letting her feel the muscles beneath that T-shirt and jeans. Hard to believe one so big could move so quickly and dexterously. Then again she had a lower center of gravity and knew how to use it, putting her own hand between his shoulder blades she smirked as she returned his gaze right back into those gorgeous sky-blue eyes of his. Maybe they were getting a little carried away in this demonstration but heck, they were having fun.
“Don’t suppose we could show these squirts how getting good at couples’ dancing means you can show off?” Grapes asked with a smirk.
His eyes widened a little in surprise and there was a hint of the most adorable amount of blush on those cheeks of his as he smirked back.
“Why Senorita Grapes… I would be delighted to.” Then they really started showing off. Blazing hot footwork, spins, dips, and coordinated disconnected dancing. The whole act was leading up to a crescendo that if they had more time to choreograph would have been a bigger finish than the simple dip they went for at the end of the song.
Still… it was a wonderful dip. Him holding her there, the two of them lingering in that pose as the last strums of the guitar faded away leaving the two dancers and the dumbstruck student observers there in a moment of silence.
Then the crowd went wild. Even Sunset Shimmer found herself applauding. Stormfront smiled and slowly lifted his partner back into an upright locked position, and the two resisted the urge to pant and catch their breath.
“So… That’s what can happen with practice. Just stop dancing like a bunch of department store mannequins, and you should be fine,” Grapes quipped, smiling up at Stormfront. Grapes then turned to see a pair of principals standing in the doorway of the gym, both with dropped jaws. “I think we may have overdone it,” Grapes observed in sotto voce, looking at Principal Celestia and Vice-Principal Luna.
Luna looked up at her sister and arched an inquisitive eyebrow. Celestia returned the eyebrow to her younger sister before the two looked back at Stormfront and Grapes and politely applauded.
“Teaching by example. Well done, Miss Sour Grapes and Mister Stormfront.” Luna said as she was obviously trying to keep a smirk from forming. “A little… shall we say ‘suggestive’ choice for a style of dance?”
“However we don’t wish to smother such a… a creative way to inspire the children.” Celestia hastily interjected. “If it gets them on the dance floor and… dancing their way to good health then so be it.”
“Of course. Of course.” Luna added. “Exercise should always be fun, and exciting. Why, just look at the two of you. Sweating and out of breath and yet quite… content with your selves.”
“It was fun,” Grapes said with a shrug. “The applause was a nice perk. Wasn’t a bad whim to come over here and see how Stormfront was doing.”
“I see.” Celestia said as she and her sister tilted their heads ever so slightly to look past Sour Grapes and appraise Stormfront where he was putting on some samba music to encourage the students to take up the lesson before the mood was lost. “Nothing wrong with that.”
“I should freshen up before my next class,” Grapes said with a chuckle. “Glad you two enjoyed the show.”
“We almost missed it but the music intrigued us.” Luna chuckled. “Now we can update your file to include teacher’s aide in Dance Instruction.”
“As long as I’m aiding, and not instructing. I have a lot of natural talent, but not enough technical knowhow to actually teach,” Grapes said as she headed to the faculty bathroom. “There goes my free periods on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Oh well. No big loss.”
Grapes’ afternoon history class filed into her room, and she stood at the chalkboard. To a certain flame haired student’s surprise, she did not look like she had just done a sizzling dance number in the gym about a half hour ago.
“As you know, we have been studying Rome. Its century of massive expansion, and endless war. Now, however, we start to see the beginnings of the fall of Rome. The republic was on the edge. Elections were occurring like no Roman had ever seen, demagogues were in the streets preaching the politics of violence, huge numbers of foreign workers were scaring the pants off the native workforce, and the rich just sat back consuming everything while ignoring the poor masses who can only take so much before deciding to turn against them,” Grapes intoned. “Meanwhile the political elite were desperately trying to stop the monster they had unleashed, but the very same elites were so tied to the interests of money, that they couldn’t think of any other solution but more of the same. This is how republics fall, ladies and gentlemen. And this isn’t great man history. Can you call a man who first injected violence into the political system, and overturned years of tradition just to get his way ‘great’? I know one of you would, but the overturning of these traditions was but one of the dominoes in the long slow fall of the Roman Empire.”
“Uh… Alexander the Great?” asked Muffins, who seemed unlikely to know this off the top of her head.
“Uh, Muffins, that was a rhetorical question. Also Alexander the Great was Macedonian, not Roman,” Grapes observed. “I’m talking about Tiberius Gracchus. One of the Brothers Gracchi. Yes, Gracchi is plural because it is Latin. Now… The spoils of war made the republic rich, and brought slaves to the Empire…” Grapes began to teach a chapter of history that wasn’t widely taught. How the wealthy few made one man who had served Rome’s army decide to overturn the status quo for the sake of the people, and ended up being killed for his efforts. And how his younger brother whipped up the people into a fervor, taking up his brother’s causes, and continued to crack the foundations of Rome’s diplomatic system.
“Tomorrow we’ll be moving from Ancient Rome to the good old USA, and maybe we’ll stop off in Jolly Olde England. If we get the chance, this year, we can even cover the South Seas Bubble, and introduce the Walpole connection game,” Grapes said as the class ended. “Well… I say tomorrow, it may be Monday, considering that big dance is tomorrow night.”
The students all got up in unison at the sound of the bell, not out of any choreography but that simultaneous chaos brought about by simple Pavlovian instinct. They nearly ran over Mister Cordington as his slender body moved back and forth to avoid being run down while entering her class.
“Hell-O Miss Grapes. And how is the day treating you… Other than you tripping the light fantastic with Mister Stormfront?”
“I think I surprised everybody with my lesson on the Brothers Gracchi,” Grapes replied, as she packed up her things. “How are things with you?”
“Oh pretty well. Pretty well. I Plunged a mystery of the unknown out of the girls’ washroom, Got the windows clean, laid down weed killer on the soccer green, taught a successful physics class, organised the benches in the cafeteria into a representation of the Fibonacci sequence until Sun-Butt had me put them back into boring old rows once more. You know… the usual.”
“‘Sun-Butt’?” Grapes asked, raising an eyebrow. “I know Principal Celestia wears a sun in glory lapel pin. That’s hardly a reason to call her ‘sun-butt’.”
“True, but she has a tawdry relic of her misspent youth enshrined upon her glutenous maximus,” Cordington said with a grin. “It TOO is in the shape of a Sun in glory.”
“This update was brought to you by WTMI, your source for way too much information,” Grapes quipped, rolling her eyes.
“What can I say? I am a veritable FOUNT of information. Oh… and I was doing some patchwork on the copper roof earlier,” Desi started, rooting through his satchel. “And wound up with some scraps and immediately thought of you.”
“Copper? I can’t imagine what you’d make with copper,” Grapes observed.
With a flourish he pulled something from his bag. It LOOKED like a paper-hat big enough to rest on her own head, the kind that kids used to fold and either wear or float in puddles as a little sailboat. The big difference was that this one was expertly crafted from a sheet of Element 29 and shone like a newly minted penny… mainly because copper tended to do that.
“TA-DAHHHHHH! Say hello to the latest in noggin protection. Stylish and yet functional.”
“Functional?” Grapes asked.
“Well of course! It holds its shape and is far more durable than tin foil. How else do you expect to prevent others to keep from influencing and outright usurping your cognitive self-control?”
Grapes looked over the hat, an eyebrow raised.
“Well. Not the silliest hat I’ve ever possessed,” Grapes observed. “Not sure why I would need a hat that protects against mind control, but I appreciate the gesture.”
“It’s always good to keep something like this on hand. Or just as an ornament for your desk. Makes a good conversation piece.” Desi chirped as he Spritzed something from a bottle onto one of the desks and gave it a polish with a rag. “Ooh. Nice graffiti there. Better make certain it’s preserved for posterity.”
Grapes walked to the desk, curious about this graffiti that Desi had spotted.
It was a caricature of herself. Standing there in a professor’s gown giving a long dissertation. The topic was uncertain because the word balloon attached made abundant and repetitive use of the word “Blah” punctuated by the occasional buzzword such as paradigm, status-quo and Socio-economics. On the other hand it really WAS a good likeness… and pretty good penmanship for the word balloon content.
“Hmm… I wonder who drew this?” Grapes asked, going to check her seating chart. “Whoever it was needs to be in art classes.”
Surprisingly enough it was Crimson Napalm, the student with the lavender skin and Bright orange mohawk. While it was easy to make an assumption that a student who liked wearing T-shirts with skulls on it would be into graffiti, it was strangely gratifying to see some genuine artistic talent desperately struggling to burst forth.
“Huh. That’s unexpected. Who knew such a punk-looking kid had a hidden softer side?” Grapes observed. She rummaged in her messenger bag she carried in lieu of a purse, and brought back her digital camera, taking a photo of the drawing. “If we’ve got an art teacher, still, I’ll be sharing this with them, and seeing about getting Crimson into some art classes so he can have a healthier and less school property defacing outlet for his talent.”
“How forward-thinking of you. Many teachers would have taken offence to such an act of satire and no doubt retaliated academically.”
“Oh he’s still getting detention. Not for the artistic depiction, but for the whole defacing of school property. I’m sure the budget is limited enough without having to… now that you apparently shellacked it, sand and refinish a desk and/or buy a new desk,” Grapes observed. “I can appreciate good satire, along with good snark. But he should have drawn it on a different surface.”
“I can appreciate good chaos when it happens. A touch of anarchy here, a little defiance of authority there, like a swizzle-stick it keeps things from settling to the bottom. Of course all things in moderation,” Desi said in a grandiose manner.
“If you’re willing to take a pay cut for your chaotic appreciation, fine. I can always tell our dear glorious leaders that you shellacked the desk,” Grapes said with a small smirk. “For chaotic and/or artistic appreciation.”
“Of course. And I am planning on taking all the desktops to the local art gallery and putting them into an interactive display… including a live refurbishing of their surfaces on the last day.” he mused, tapping his fuzzy chin with a finger. “Art is best appreciated in the moment, you never love, hate or become nauseated by art any more than the first moment you lay eyes upon it. Am I right, Miss Grapes?”
“Hm… I imagine it would depend upon the type of art,” Grapes mused as she cleaned up the classroom for the day. “Some movies for example need to be seen more than once to be fully appreciated, and some paintings do need a second glance to see all there is to them. Art that only has ‘shock value’ is the type that can leave a lasting and permanent first impression, but never lasts the test of time, because of its transitory nature.”
“True, true, but do we love the Mona Lisa because it is great art… or because we are TOLD it is great art?” He said, maneuvering a dry-mop around the legs of the chairs. “It is always described as the definition of ‘priceless’ and yet when seen in person you would be surprised to see just how small it is. Like going to meet your favorite actor and finding that they are shorter than you.”
“Size isn’t everything, Desi. And yes, while a lot of things can be made larger than life because of reputation, sometimes you have to appreciate them for what, and who, they are, rather than what the hype has made them out to be,” Grapes said picking up her books, and papers. “Well, I’ve got a couple of folks to meet for the commute home. See you tomorrow for the fiasco.”
“Ah yes… the great Fall Formal. I’m glad I don’t have to set up for that but cleaning up the fallout afterwards is going to be a chore. Ah well, it could be worse.” He said, pausing to lean on the handle of his dry-mop. “I mean someone could try to ruin the decorations and frame another student resulting in a desperate do-over, or maybe a conjunction of other dimensional energies upon our plane of existence may result in property damage, personal injuries and a heel-face turn of character… or it could just be a rainy day and we discover the gymnasium roof leaks. The possibilities are endless.”
“... Those first two are… strangely specific,” Grapes said, pausing by the door to the classroom. “We’ll see what tomorrow brings, though… I do have people waiting on me for a ride. See you tomorrow, Desi.”
“Of course. Have fun storming the castle.”
“D’ya think it’ll woik?” Grapes asked as if on automatic.
“It’d take a miracle.” Desi replied with a chortle, and returning to his sweeping while singing a strangely infectious tune under his breath. “Winter wrap-up, winter wrap-up...”
“Ugh… I’m NEVER going to get that out of my head, now…” Grapes grumbled.
Grapes made her way to the Wondercolt statue to meet Stormfront and Earshot for the ride home, glad another day was over, and more than ready for the week to be over. She paused by the statue, waiting for her other two passengers.
Earshot arrived first, walking past the statue and pausing in mid stride. He experimentally tapped his cane against the ground a few times, and seemed to ‘glance’ in the direction of the monument, although from the tilt of his head it looked more like something caught his sense of hearing. After a moment he cautiously continued his way to Sour Grapes’ auto and got in.
“Heya Miss Grapes. Heard you had a fun day.”
“Hello, Earshot. Even you heard about my dance demonstration with Stormfront?” Grapes asked with a chuckle.
“Hard not to… and not just because I make more use of my hearing than most. Your dancing with Stormfront is nearly as big news as Miss Sparkle’s challenging Miss Shimmer’s bid for the crown. Miss Fluttershy said that when she asked her why she was standing up to Miss Shimmer she said ‘Somepony has to’, “ Earshot said with a smile.
“Some pony has to?”Grapes asked, raising an eyebrow. “Guess Twilight Sparkle’s really getting into the Wondercolt spirit, huh?”
“Yeah. I think that could catch on as a piece of regional… uh… schoolery? Academic institutionally dialect?” He took a moment to reorder his thoughts. “Local slang?”
“There you go,” Grapes chuckled, as they waited for Stormy to get there. “Canterlot High slang. Everypony, because the Canterlot Wondercolts.”
“It’s pretty exciting though. I know I’m new to this sort of thing and it’s just for some carnival-grade trinket but seeing democracy in action even in miniature is really interesting.”
“I think there may be some dirty campaigning going on by a certain flame haired contender,” Grapes said with a sigh. “Even so… Hm… What’s keeping Stormfront?”
Stormfront eventually wandered out of the building and down the path to the car. He paused and looked back at the school once more before getting in.
“Hey. Ready to go?”
“Yup. Just was waiting on my final passenger. It still amazes me how you can fold up to fit in this tiny car, Stormfront,” Grapes said starting the engine. She quickly turned the car around, and got them going on their way home.
“I’m a LOT more flexible than most people assume.” Stormfront said, before glancing at where Earshot was politely listening in. “Uh… no innuendo implied, of course.”
“No innuendo taken,” Grapes laughed, as they navigated traffic. “Just still expressing a certain disbelief. You aren’t exactly… petite.”
“True, that’s why I wound up taking dance lessons when I was younger than Earshot. I was large for my age and as a result a walking disaster area. The more I danced, the better I got at it and the more… limber I became.” Stormfront smirked and shrugged. “Sometimes I think I should go join a regular troupe while I’m young.”
“Why didn’t you?” Grapes asked, glancing over at Stormfront. “Were you wanting to finish your education first, or did you find out that the pay isn’t that great for traveling the world, putting on shows, getting blisters on your blisters, and possible sabotage from your fellow dancers who think they should be center stage instead of you?”
“Part education and part snooty toe-trippers. In Ballet the guys are the minority and so we’re usually the ones picked on by the ladies. So many prima donnas. They’ll tear a strip off of you if you’re anything less than perfect.” Stormy considered his statement before clarifying. “I mean not EVERY dancer is that way, but you get enough to ruin it for everyone else. So I’m gonna look for a nice offer from a well-established group. Serious but not SO serious they can’t see how silly a guy in tights can be.”
“Heh. I guess… Well hopefully you’ll find that troupe, once you graduate. Though you may be getting an aid on your dance days,” Grapes said with a chuckle.
“I would be delighted if I did. I mean it might sound cliche but, where have you been all my life?”
“Until about a year ago I was in college getting my teaching degree,” Grapes replied, as they pulled into the garage. “But my dancing ability is mostly natural talent, with a smidgen of practice.”
“Good to know. Still, I can’t help but feel you haven't exactly been getting a lot of use out of it. Especially the way you let go earlier.”
“Didn’t have anybody to dance with, before,” Grapes said with a smirk. “Especially somebody who could keep up. It was a pleasant change.”
“Same here. It’s been awhile since I’ve met someone who likes to dance for the sake of the enjoyment.”
“Just don’t ask me to tell you about my cybergoth phase,” Grapes said as she picked up her bag. “I looked ridiculous, but I still remember how to dance Industrial.”
“Cybergoth?” Stormy asked, suddenly intrigued. “So… corsets and lace with nixie tubes mixed in?”
“No nixie tubes. Some LED light strands, though,” Grapes said blushing a bit. “Nixie tubes would have been a bit too hot for a wearable fashion statement, no matter how boss they would have looked… Ugh… I’m going to have to show you that picture of me with glowing purple faux dreadlocks aren’t I?”
“Probably… Even without overheating nixie tubes I bet you looked hot anyways.”
“Uh… Thanks?” Grapes said blushing, as she opened the door for them, going inside, she going to her personal room, after dropping off her work on her desk. Grapes came back and gave Stormfront a picture of herself in a purple and black outfit including a black corset a purple skirt and black furry leg warmers with purple tips, wearing goggles, and what looked like a headdress made of black and purple tubes of either fabric or foam sprinkled with little glowing lights. She also looked about fifteen to sixteen in the photo.
Stormfront stared at the picture for a bit then let out a drawn-out wolf whistle.
“I’m not sure where the fashion for this came from but being perfectly honest with you, you looked pretty dang good.”
“Cybergoth, like I said,” Grapes said blushing. “It was a bit of college experimentation. Heh. I couldn’t just go goth, I had to go nerd chic goth.”
“Again I must iterate… where were you all my life?” he chuckled. “I would have loved to go clubbing with you… clubbing was the right word, right?”
“Yes. Yes it was… But at the time I was too young to get into clubs. I was fifteen when that photo was taken,” Grapes said chuckling. “Yes, I went to college when I was about… fourteen I think.”
“Fifteen… I think I was into Tap at that time. I got a little more respect with that, but still got teased for wearing ‘sissy shoes’.”
“Tap shoes? Sissy? Are you serious? Tap shoes can be positively dapper,” Grapes asked aghast.
“Keep in mind my peers wore high tops, cleats and all manner of sport-shoes. Anything with that level of polish on them was ‘unmanly’.” He was silent a moment then sighed.
“More than once I had to get them off of a telephone wire or a tree branch.”
“What kind of idiots consider dressy shoes to be ‘unmanly’?” Grapes asked. “Wait… Never mind. I always ended up with peers older than I was, because of my blazing through elementary and high school… Though if I had somebody as intelligent and well spoken as you in my class, I would have been somewhat tempted to stay for the so-called socialization.”
“Same here. You’re a little bit of an acquired taste but you’ve kinda been growing on me,” Stormfront said with a smile.
Grapes took back the picture, and looked at it with a chuckle, before putting it on her desk.
“Well… I think the morning may be normal, but the closer to the dance, things may be disrupted,” Grapes observed. “Just hope it’s not too bad. At least you don’t have to deal with a school dance, tomorrow. You did put forth a valiant effort to help people dance better, today, so that counts for something… I hope.”
“Hey, if they can dance without stepping on their partner’s feet then I’ve made the world just a little happier… by the way, who’s chaperoning?”
“Several teachers, including Vice Principal Luna. I’m on backup, but I may be a bit young for dance attendees to take seriously,” Grapes replied. “In the classroom, I have the authority because I have the big desk… But only barely in my afternoon class… You know that fiery haired snarker in your dance class? She’s in my afternoon history class. Brilliant girl, but it’s a challenge to keep her from being too board.”
“Oh.. You mean that miss ‘Bacon-head’ is the troublemaker you’ve been mentioning? Small school.”
“Yes. It is in a way. I’m going to go and take a hot bath, so I’m not sore tomorrow. I should have done some warm up stretches before doing that dance routine,” Grapes said heading to her part of the house.
“Good night,” He called after her before adding in quietly “My blackboard Cinderella.”
“Goodnight, Stormfront,” Grapes said, flashing him a smile, before going into her section of the boarding house for the night.
The next morning Grapes got up, doing her usual morning routine, before heading out into the more ‘common’ areas of the boarding house to see what was going on with everybody this fine Friday morning.
There were signs of life in the communal kitchen. Bowls had been used for instant oatmeal and put in the dishwasher as had the frying pan, Coffee had been brewed but the pot was half full, (did that make her an optimist?), slices of Grapefruit peel were in the trash and the chairs had been moved about. Just there were no people to be seen. Grapes took a moment to ponder this when she heard mumbling from nearby. Searching for the source she found her boarders out on the back porch, taking in the early morning air and their respective morning beverages. Apparently whatever Stormy was saying to them had their undivided attention.
“...and just like that. You and her, out on the dance floor?” Asked Firestormer before chuckling. “And neither of you looked like an idiot doing that without any practice or anything?”
“One final time, yes Firestormer. We just… clicked.” Stormfront explained. “I mean we got a LITTLE fancy but nothing like me lifting her into the air so it wasn’t like we needed a lot of practice for it.”
“Stormfront, darling. Would you indulge me and think back to how the whole thing felt like to you? Mmm?”
“Well Queenie it was… I mean she… and it…” Stormfront hesitated and seemed to try to sort the words out in his head. “It was like we had been dancing together our whole lives.”
Grapes paused to think of that assessment, as she poured herself a nice cuppa, and sipped it. It kinda did feel that way, after a fashion. If they had had the time to work out a routine they wouldn’t have needed that much rehearsal. She toasted herself an English muffin, putting butter and grape jelly on it, then sat at the table, relatively close to the back door. Innocent looking enough to have plausible deniability, but close enough to hear the conversation.
“Seriously man,” interjected Firestormer. “Listen to yourself. You’d think that you were getting some serious hangups on our landlord.”
“Do… do I?”
“Oh… Emm… Gee! YOU ARE! AHAHAHAHAHAH!” Firestormer burst into laughter, much to his friend’s chagrin. “Stormy’s all hot for teacher!”
“Seriously, Firestormer?” chided Queenie, sipping her coffee demurely from her place on the swing-chair. “What is this? Fourth grade? So what if his heart’s opening up a little…. I think it’s rather sweet.”
Grapes smiled bit at Queenie’s being so quick to get on Firestormer’s case. The blonde haired woman had seemed like a very elegant sort but without a lot of the snootiness that many ‘high class’ people tended to have just from being born to wealth. Grapes finished her coffee and muffin, before going to get her satchel, looking around for Earshot. She shrugged, then headed to the back door, opening it, and looking at the assembled borders on her back porch with a raised eyebrow.
“Good morning, everybody,” Grapes said casually.
“Good morning, Grapes.” Stormy and the others chorused. Grapes noted that Earshot was down on the porch stairs waving up to her, apparently present if not giving anything to the conversation.
“About ready to head to school, Earshot?” Grapes said descending the steps, and heading toward the garage. “Got to get going before morning traffic gets too bad.”
“Yeff Miff Graphs.” he said through a full mouth. She glanced down at the ruby grapefruit in his hands. A large bite was taken out of one side but he had apparently been gnawing away at the innards for some time. She arched an eyebrow, most kids she knew could never eat a slice of grapefruit without dipping it in sugar with every bite, much less so enthusiastically consume a whole one. Earshot certainly loved his ‘sunshine fruit’.
“I’ll be waiting in the car, then,” Grapes said, heading to the garage. “Be sure you wash off the juice before you leave.”
“Yeff… I mean yes Miss Grapes.”
“Better get your own twinkle toes in gear too, Romeo,” Firestormer teased with a snort. “Maybe she’ll let you sit in the front seat. RIGHT beside her.”
“Do you think so? “ Stormy asked before catching himself. “Funny, Firestormer. Real funny.”
“He kind of has to sit in the front seat,” Grapes quipped, crossing her arms, and giving Firestormer a disdainful look. “It’s the only seat that can be pushed back to accommodate those long legs of his. Anyway his dance classes at CHS are only on Tuesdays and Thursdays. And since CSU is in the completely opposite direction…”
“Ok, ok. I gotcha.” Firestormer said holding up his hands. “You win.”
Earshot came back from the kitchen, wiping his face and hands with paper towels and tossing them into the composter.
“I’m all ready, Miss Grapes.”
“Hop in, my nocturnal friend, and we shall be on our way,” Grapes said, getting into the driver’s side. She then waved at everybody still on the porch. “You kids play nice while I’m gone, otherwise damages will be added to your rent.” Grapes pulled out of shed, and out into traffic heading them both to Canterlot High for what would turn out to be an eventful Friday.
It started right as Grapes entered the school building. The purple haired girl that Grapes had seen that Wednesday came right up to her with a bright smile and cheerful demeanor.
“Good morning,” she said enthusiastically. Behind her five other girls, one or two Grapes had seen around the school and one of whom happened to be in her afternoon history class, all facepalmed. “I’m Twilight Sparkle, as you probably know, and I’m running for Princess of the Fall Formal. I was hoping to talk with you to hopefully show myself in a different light from that horrible video that was posted online…”
“Good morning, Miss Sparkle, I’m Sour Grapes. I think I’ll push the pause button your campaign speech, right there, since I’m not allowed to vote for Fall Formal Princess,” Grapes replied looking amused as she shook Twilight’s hand.
“Really?” Twilight asked looking a touch startled. “Why is that?”
“Cos she’s tha history teacher,” Applejack replied for Grapes. “I have her after lunch. She’s a tough one, but ooh whee, does she make it interestin’.”
“You… you’re awfully young to be a teacher, Miss Grapes,” Twilight said cautiously.
“I get that a lot,” Grapes said with a shrug. “Though you do have a good pitch. You may have to step up your game to win people over if Sunset already has a leg up on you with her little bit of mudslinging.”
“Oh, Pinkie’s got something planned for later, but I thought I’d use the time until the big… event to be, you know, proactive,” Twilight said a nervous grin on her face.
“Keep at it, then, and good luck. Being knocked off her high horse may be good for Sunset in the long run,” Grapes said, as she walked toward her office.
The morning history class was a touch hard to teach between distracted students, and Snips and Snails whispering and chortling about something they did the day before. A pop quiz was quick to put a damper on both the distraction and the joviality. Then Grapes helped out in the library, checked with Principal Celestia to see if CHS had any art classes. Much to Grapes’ relief there was one, and it hadn’t been cut to help the school stay on budget. Grapes then went to see the art teacher, and arranged for Crimson Napalm to give up one of his free periods to attend art class to help him harness that raw talent, and not graffito the school’s desks anymore. Then just by pure chance she found the mohawked student in the hallway.
“Why Mister Napalm, how wonderful to see you. I noticed your artwork on your desk, yesterday,” Grapes said smirking at the boy, waiting on his reaction.
“I… I got nothing to say.” he stated, apparently used to accusations.
“So no opinion about possibly giving up a free period for an art class then?” Grapes asked, an eyebrow raised. “The likeness was rather good, the composition was quite nice, and satire was rather on point, though I do hope I have been engaging more than your artistic muse.”
“Art classes? But I’m no Artistic. I’m a solid part of the Rocker Clique.” he said, referring to the strange like-seeks-like herding instincts of the student body. “What would they say if suddenly I started taking art classes?”
“That you could probably design kickin’ band posters, and album covers?” Grapes suggested. “After all being a Rocker means you know the Rocker aesthetic. And putting your artistic skills to use means you could, possibly, make a little cash for your designing chops for those posters and album covers. Never mind having a better outlet for your doodling than defacing school desks.”
He was silent a moment, his eyes moving to the left and away from her betraying him actually thinking about this opportunity.
“So, I go to art class and do my own thing… and the desktops are forgotten?”
“They’re not forgotten. You are getting one detention. But only one, and just for the defacement of school property. I’m not one to punish somebody for a satirical representation, or artistic expression. I merely wanted to give you an opportunity to expand your artistic repetrior, and have a nice new hobby,” Grapes said patting his shoulder.
“...Can’t get a better deal than that, can I?” He acknowledged, before extending a hand. “Deal.”
“Good,” Grapes said shaking his hand. “I’d like to think you’re a good kid, Mister Napalm, but you just don’t have enough outlets for your creativity. Sure you play music, but that’s obviously not your only talent. Don’t let your clique dictate your life. They won’t always be there especially when you get older.”
“Gee. Thanks for the ‘After School Special’ speech.” he said with slight sneer which quickly dissolved. “But all snark aside, thanks.”
“You’re welcome,” Grapes said, heading to her office to eat her lunch. “And I can appreciate good snark. I’m been known to be pretty snarky myself.”
After the lunch period, Grapes went to the break room for a cup of coffee and found a bunch of the teachers talking about the flash mob that had happened in the cafeteria.
“And the girls all started singing about helping this Twilight Sparkle win the crown… Then at the end, Twilight herself came in… That girl has got a wonderful voice,” Cheerilee said with a bright smile. “I do hope she wins. It would be a nice change of pace from the past couple of years…”
“Huh. So that’s the big event Twilight mentioned," Grapes said, sipping her coffee.
“She mentioned it to you? But I don’t think she’s in your class, Sour Grapes,” Cheerilee observed.
“Twilight mistook me for a student this morning,” Grapes said with a chuckle. “Maybe her being so ‘proactive’ before lunch helped change some minds.”
“Well I’m pretty sure that song helped,” Cheerilee said with a laugh.
“Takes more than a song to change everyone’s opinion around.” Grunted Cranky Doodle as he refilled his cup. “Still, I would LOVE to see the look on Sunset Shimmer’s face if someone else got crowned this year. She’s always so… insufferable after she wins.”
“I think it would be good for her in the long run, methinks,” Grapes observed.
“I believe that if it can take her down a whole peg, it would do wonders for the school’s morale.” Spoke Professor Fancypants, the school’s freshly acquired English teacher, as he quietly closed the door behind him. “However I’m certain that I need not remind you that we must not… or rather cannot show favorites. As faculty we must try to be impartial in this student exercise in democracy, or at least we must make a show of impartiality. No matter how much we wish Sunset Shimmer to be dethroned this year. Are we all in agreement?”
“Aye aye, mon capitan,” Grapes said saluting.
“Ugh,”Vice-Principal Luna uttered, coming into the break room, and sitting down with a sigh. “Could Sunset Shimmer be more obvious? She frames Twilight Sparkle for utterly destroying the decorations in the gym, but either she or her flunkies didn’t do a good enough job of disposing of the materials used to frame the poor girl. Just as I’m talking to her, and about to kick her out of the running, Flash Sentry shows up with proof that Sparkle was framed.”
“Sunset sounds either desperate, or just isn’t trying that hard… but then with help like she has, I’m not surprised the frame job was uncovered so quickly,” Grapes said with a sigh.
“I cannot, however, disqualify Sunset Shimmer, because I have no definitive proof that it was, indeed, she who framed Twilight Sparkle. Aside from the simple fact she brought me the doctored photos,” Luna said with a huge sigh. “Now the dance has to be postponed until tomorrow night.”
“And without any proof that she actually doctored the photos, rather than just finding them, you proverbial hands are tied,” Grapes said with a huff.
“Well then. Let’s hope that Twilight’s little song and dance got the ball rolling.” Cranky muttered, sipping at his coffee before realizing everyone was looking at him. “What? It was a catchy song, and I liked it. End of story.”
Suddenly a green haired woman with a pink shirt and khaki pants burst into the break room, just as Grapes was checking her watch to see if she should head to her afternoon history class.
“You’re not going to believe this! That Sparkle girl and her friends got the WHOLE DARNED SCHOOL organized ta fix the gym and decorations so they can have the dance tonight!” she said.
“Welp there goes afternoon classes,” Grapes uttered with a huge sigh.
“I’ve got to see this,” Luna said getting up and leaving.
The teachers all looked at one another and like the children they were supposed to be overseeing, they all got up at once and struggled to follow the Vice Principal out the door.
Grapes sighed, following the others, wondering how this one girl inspired the student body to work together like this.
It didn’t take long for the faculty to get to the gymnasium and find places to clandestinely watch the undertaking. True to Miss Peachbottom’s report, the room was a flurry of activity. All of the students working, surprisingly enough, together to fix the damage done… and succeeding. And there, in the middle of it all was that new mystery girl, Twilight Sparkle.
“Well… Looks like she’s doing a good job of leading by example,” Grapes said indicating Twilight.
“I’ll say. Look at how she’s reached out to them all and pulled them together.” observed Desi as he pushed a trash can full of wrecked decorations out past the teachers. “You’d think she was used to constant disasters and crises to handle this one so deftly.”
Grapes gave Desi a droll look, then turned back to watch the whole school fix the gym to make it look amazing again. She looked pleasantly surprised that things were turning out well. Then once everybody was finished, the gym looking good and dance ready. Principal Celestia came in a smile on her face. She clapped, seeming to applaud the effort that had been put into the cleanup as well as attracting the attention of everybody there..
“Alright, everyone, Fall Formal is back on for this evening,” she said prompting a cheer from the students in the gym. “So you’d better get out of here, and start getting ready. Oh and don’t forget to cast your vote for Fall Formal Princess on your way out.” The students started to file out of the gym, several of them assuring Twilight that she had their vote, each of them putting their ballot into the box that Vice-Principal Luna held.
“Well if the song didn’t do it, her rallying people to put the Fall Formal back on track sure did,” Grapes observed.
“Were I several decades younger the lass would have MY vote.” agreed Summer Squall. “Girl’s not a natural-born leader but she has empathy and a determination in there that shines through her flaws. Most people would rather follow a flawed leader who genuinely wants things to happen for the greater good than some blowhard who bullies their way to the top.”
Principal Celestia came into the hallway to find the audience of teachers, smiling amused at them being there. Vice-Principal Luna simply carried the ballot box past.
“Somebody’s going to be busy counting votes,” Grapes observed.
“I guess that means the school day is over then.” Cranky noted as he looked into the rapidly emptying gymnasium. “I guess I’ll be seeing the lot of you Monday. I’m heading home to my wife and not coming back until then.”
“Aw Cranky, you old softy.” Squall chortled, slapping Cranky on the back hard enough that his wig shifted positions. “Say hello to the Missus for us then and enjoy yer weekend.”
“Thank you, by the way, for volunteering to chaperone, Mister Squall,” Principal Celestia said smiling at the older man. “I knew I could count on you.”
“Awww…. Son of a Beach ball!”
“I’ll probably be hanging out in my office doing some grading,” Grapes said. “I think Earshot wanted to come, and I promised him a ride here.”
“Not helping chaperone, Miss Grapes?” Celestia asked an elegant eyebrow raised in curiosity.
“I was mistaken for a student, this morning, so I sincerely doubt I’d be an effective chaperone for a student dance,” Grapes replied with a sigh.
“Ah. Good call then.” Celestia said with a smirk. “Still, it’ll be good to have you nearby. Whether or not the students recognize you as an authority figure you are a level-headed member of the faculty.
“I’m glad you have such confidence in me, Principal Celestia,” Grapes said. “Anyway I’d better give Earshot his ride home so he can get ready. We’ll be back in a couple of hours in time for the dance.”
“Right. See you in a few hours. Same with you Mister Squall.”
“Arrrr.”
A couple of hours and a costume change for Earshot later, Grapes took him to her office so he’d have directions on how to get to it should he tire of the festivities.
“So you remember how to get back here, right?” Grapes asked. “You’ve never shown an interest in a cell phone, so…”
“Well we still have pay phones in the school, just in case, and I can always borrow a portable phone from maybe Queenie or Firestormer,” Earshot replied while smoothing his good vest. “I don’t think much will happen other than music and dancing, I mean even Miss Shimmer wouldn’t start something at a big party. Right?”
“Oh you never know. She was seriously gunning for that crown for some reason,” Grapes said. “Also just come here when you get tired of the festivities. I’ll be here.”
“Right. I should be okay though. You have to remember what my hometown in Stygian Cove is like, though. Considering it is a popular tourist destination run by nocturnal people then an all-night party is… well… would ‘natural habitat’ be the right word for it?”
“Yes,” Grapes chuckled. “That is the right word for it. Have fun, Earshot.” Grapes sat in her office, grading papers for a while, listening to the distant music from the gym. The band was rather good in her opinion. Then the music stopped. After a bit of a pause, there was one cheer. There was another pause followed by another cheer which caused Grapes to smile. “Guess Twilight won it.” Some time passed, during which Grapes finished the paper grading.
Suddenly from outside there was a flash of blue-gray light. Grapes got up, running toward the window at the end of the hall. Grapes gasped at the sight of somebody being lifted into the air in a pillar of blue-grey light. Grapes ran back to her office, grabbing the first aid kit off of the wall... Then without knowing why she felt compelled to, she snatched up the copper hat Desi gave her and put it on before she she belted down to the entrance hall to get a closer look at just what the blazes was going on.
She stood in the entrance, staring in shock at what was happening. Grapes looked down seeing Twilight and her five friends standing there staring as well, Twilight with a grim look oh her face. Grapes looked back up to the figure when all of the sudden the light faded, and floating there was a rather demonic figure. Light red skin, black wings with darker red webbing, a red and yellow dress that seemed to have a strange tail coming out of it, black boots with a flame motif, and of course claws and fangs. Her hair looked like a roaring flame, and on the creature’s head was the… Fall Formal Crown? That last part made Grapes a little confused.
The creature laughed maniacally, and then blasted Snips and Snails with a blast of that gray blue power, turning them into demonic creatures, too. Grapes looked back at the she-demon, looking up at the creature intently. She seemed… familiar, never mind her choice in flunkies...
Desi walked up along side of Sour Grapes and looked at the transformed Teen and her minions, and with a rather annoyed expression crossed his arms and spoke flatly.
"Well... crap. Now we have to leave the planet," Desi said grimly.
“... How?” Grapes asked, looking at Desi.
“What? Must I think of EVERYTHING?” he said incredulously before aiming a Geiger counter at the events outside and examining the results. "After all I am doing the hard part of theorizing about this event.
If my guess is correct what we are looking at is a negative energy flux of exotic particles entering our reality via a puncture in the dark matter layer between our respective universes. In short, a higher-energy reality is forcing its way into ours like water gushing into a leaky canoe." He paused a moment and adjusted his copper hat to a more rakish tilt. "Although having the vast majority of it enter a living vessel is no doubt going to cause some serious excrement to strike the fan."
“What SORT of excrement?” Grapes asked.
The demoness flew toward the entrance of the school, landing in front of it, and in a very familiar voice, if with some added reverb said: “I’ve had to jump through so many hoops, tonight, JUST to get my hands on this crown, and it really should have been mine all along!”
“Sunset Shimmer?” Grapes asked. “That… thing is Sunset Shimmer?”
“But let’s let bygones be bygones,” Demon Sunset said affecting a very toothy smile. “I am your princess now.” She gathered that strange energy in one hand. “And you WILL be loyal.” And by merely clenching her fist, she somehow destroyed the front entrance to the school, and tossed it aside as she added: “TO ME!”
Sunset then flew into the school her glowing teal gaze looking at the assembled students, causing a panic, and people running hither and yon.
“Do we have any students named Wilhelm?” Grapes asked, as she beheld the spectacle that Shimmer was making.
“I’m not sure. Why do you ask?” Desi replied.
“I think I just heard him scream,” Grapes said, watching Sunset to see what she would do next.
Suddenly Sunset put her hands on either side of her forehead, and her eyes seemed to turn into teal and black swirls. Around the heads of the assembled student body appeared these teal rings that sank into their heads causing them to stop in their tracks and moan like zombies. Sour Grapes had barely enough time to make a nonsensical verbal noise before a ring appeared around her head tried to shrink into her noggin. The result however was unexpected, the ring striking the copper hat on her head and fizzling out. A similar ring appeared above Desi’s head doing pretty much the same.
Blinking Grapes took quick stock of the situation, the rings seemed to have reduced the students and other faculty members into shambling, dull-witted beings with bright glowing eyes and yet she and Desi were… peachy keen. She glanced over to the school’s Janitorial staff/physicist and arched an eyebrow.
“Did you give us Faraday cages for our brains in advance?”
“You know… I think I DID.” he replied, sounding rather startled at the revelation. “I must be more brilliant than I first suspected.”
Sunset stood there, looking pleased at what had happened, she not noticing Grapes and Desi off to the side spectating the events, and turned to her minions.
“Round them up and bring them to the portal,” She ordered. Snips and Snails saluted, and ran off to do her bidding. Shimmer strode to the destroyed entrance, facing the six girls who had been opposing her. “Spoiler alert: I was bluffing when I said I’d destroy the portal.”
“Portal?” Grapes asked looking confused.
“I don’t want to rule this pathetic little high school,” Sunset continued her monologue. “I want Equestria, and with my own little teenaged army behind me, I’m going to get it.”
“Yeah, it’s about to be over when the villain starts monologuing,” Grapes said drolly. “Also I don’t think she’s really thought this through. A zombified teenaged army? What are they going to do? Groan at whatever defenders they have on the other side of this portal she’s talking about?”
“It’ll be the shortest coup in history.” Desi shrugged, checking another sensor he had been carrying. “‘Every day they’re shufflin’.”
“Funnily enough I know how to do that dance,” Grapes observed casually.
“No!” they heard Twilight declare from outside. “You’re not!”
“Oh puh-LEESE! What, exactly, do you think you’re going to do to STOP me?!” Sunset gloated. “I have magic, and YOU have NOTHING!”
“She has us!” came a raspy voiced declaration. Obviously from one of Twilight’s friends outside.
“Fat lot of good that’s going to do,” Grapes snarked. “You don’t happen to have any more of those hats on hand, by the way?”
Sunset of course, laughed at the act of defiance.
“Gee! The gang really is all back together again,” the demoness said sounding amused. Then she started doing something that caused a fiery glow appear in front of her. “Now step aside! Twilight has tried to interfere with my plans ONE too many times, already! She NEEDS to be DEALT WITH!” There was a loud blast, and something that sounded like a fizzle. Sunset laughed in a display of overconfidence, then uttered a very startled sounding: “WHAT?!”
“The magic contained inside my element was able to unite with those that helped create it!” Twilight declared, as if she knew what the heck was going on.
“Uh… what?” Grapes asked, looking beyond Sunset’s demonic form to see the five girls and Twilight engulfed in magenta glow. Then, they suddenly started to transform, pony ears forming on their heads, and their hair growing long and forming ponytails. “Desi, are you seeing this?”
“Great Pepper’s Ghost! Do you see that?” Desi asked, his hand in the direction of the display. “The nauseatingly sappy monologue aside, they are also tapping into the energies from that puncture… but they are forming a positively charged cascade of Exotic Particles, and with multiple bodies they’re sharing the load between them. This… this could be a good thing.”
“Two of them grew wings, Desi,” Grapes observed. “Wings! No wait… three of them grew wings. The heck is going on at this school? Wait… Did she just say… ‘the magic of friendship’? Seriously? We just had some kind of magical girl transformation, and now she’s going on about ‘the magic of friendship’?”
“Yes, she did. Well I’m not about to say it’s all going to be sunshine and rainbows but if they can figure a way to neutralize Sunset Shimmer we might be looking at… WOAH.”
The girls floated up into the sky, and while there wasn’t sunshine it being about eight o’clock at night, there sure as heck was rainbows. Well a double-rainbow helixing up into the sky, and then forming a multi-hued tornado around the demonic form of Sunset Shimmer.
“What?! Is?! HAPPENING?!” Shimmer shouted.
“Rainbows… Rainbows are happening.” Desi said softly, taking his hat off. “I stand corrected.”
Then a rainbow beam shot from the floating girls, hitting Flash, then splitting to hit all the others that had been affected by mind control in a colorful cascade of curative goodness, terminating with Snips and Snails. The duo were surrounded by their own rainbow tornadoes, and dropping them, they back to their normal Freshman selves.
“Huh. Rainbows. Who knew?” Grapes quipped smirking up at Desi.
“Indeed.” he said sounding dumbstruck. “The things I have seen and yet, this may match the worst of them, but in a good way. That is provided their positive cascade managed to completely nullify Sunset’s negative one and is now letting the puncture heal.”
There was a huge crater in front of the school, now. Grapes and Desi watched the winged form of Twilight walk up to it, looking down into it.
“You will never rule in Equestria. Any power you may have had in this world is gone. Tonight, you showed everyone who you really are,” Twilight said in a stern tone. “You’ve shown them what’s in your heart.”
“Ouch. Way to kick her when she’s down,” Grapes observed.
“I’m.. I’m sorry,” Sunset sobbed, sounding both like herself and rather contrite. “I’m so sorry… I didn’t know there was another way…”
“The Magic of Friendship doesn’t just exist in Equestria. It’s everywhere. You can seek it out, or you can forever be alone. The choice is yours,” Twilight stated.
“But all I’ve ever done since being here is drive everyone apart,” Sunset uttered, as she climbed out of that crater. “I don’t know the first thing about friendship…”
“Isn’t that… kind of impossible?” Grapes asked as she watched Twilight pull Sunset to her feet, and gesture to the other five girls standing behind her.
“Those are my girls! Whoo HOO!” came a young sounding voice from outside.
“Did that dog just talk?! Whoa, weird!” a teal haired boy in an orange shirt declared.
“Seriously? The talking dog is the weird thing about all of this?” the aforementioned canine apparently said.
“You took the words out of my mouth, talking dog,” Grapes said, from her and Desi’s vantage point from behind the crowd. Grapes watched at Principal Celestia said something, causing Twilight to kneel before her, as the older woman placed the crown atop Twilight’s head. Flash Sentry ran up, offering his hand to Twilight, and the whole school started filing back in to finish up the dance that Sunset had interrupted. “Looks like the show’s over.”
“Indeed, and all we contributed to the situation is third person commentary,” Desi said before looking at the First Aid kit in Grapes’ arms. “Yet you were better prepared to contribute to a crisis than I was. Kudos.”
“It wasn’t just any commentary. It was snarky commentary. The best kind. And I grabbed it when I grabbed my hat. Weird explosions seem to call for some kind of first aid,” Grapes said tipping her hat to Desi. “Hm. I should see if the one person who seems worse for wear needs any. Excuse me, sil vous plait.”
With that Grapes casually strolled over to Sunset Shimmer who had been given a broom to get a start on cleaning up the monumental mess she had made of things. Grapes observed the young woman for a few minutes, before clearing her throat.
“So… Any scratches or abrasions that need treatment?” Grapes asked casually.
“A few.” Sunset said quietly “I just got slapped down by the rainbow-colored backhand of friendship so hard it made a crater. ...I think that’s the worst part. I was defeated by ‘the power of friendship’. I mean I can’t even… I…”
The teen trailed off, unable to articulate her feelings around all her plans falling apart because she just didn’t ‘get it’.
“Oh, so I’m not the only one who’s life was ruined by TVtropes.org,” Grapes quipped, opening the first aid kit and got out some disinfectant. “I’m still reeling from the pony themed magical girl transformation, and the evoking of a trope used primarily in anime of all things!”
“It was all going so well until the princess followed me here. I didn’t think for a second some coddled princess from Equestria would even consider coming through the mirror… alone.”
“Oh ghawd, princesses, too?” Grapes groaned, dabbing a cut on Sunset’s face causing her to hiss briefly in pain. “Also just how much do you know about this Twilight Sparkle, hm? She might not be as ‘coddled’ as you originally thought.”
“She was a lot more capable than I thought.” Sunset Shimmer admitted. “Did THAT also come from the power of friendship?”
“Hm…” Grapes mused. “Possibly but not in the way you think. I have Applejack in my history class as you know, that rainbow haired girl was obviously a jock, then there’s the prime fashionista, and the super shy animal lover… She hands out flyers for the shelter, so yeah, obvious. If her friends back in her home dimension are anything like those girls, Twilight was often probably pushed out of her comfort zone of libraries and books… Learned that little tidbit about her because I helped clean up the library after her research spree, Wednesday.”
“I’ve been here years, and she acclimatizes to it enough to function in a day and then gathers the elements of harmony, I had scattered, around her again and, and… who is she?” Sunset said softly, looking over to where Twilight was with her friends were saying their goodbyes. “I know they’ll draw me in, try to help me. It’s in their nature to. But it’s gonna rattle around in my head if THIS is why she embodies the element of magic and I... didn’t. Because others gravitate to her, not because she was a commanding personality but because she and her circle reach out to others.”
“Nothing wrong with that. It’s partially why I became a teacher. To reach out to others, and help them better themselves. That’s why I always try to make my lessons engaging, and leave you wanting to know more,” Grapes said with a smile. Off to the side, Grapes spotted Snips and Snails gathering up the bricks from the school’s facade. “So… You’re from this… Equestria place, too, right?”
“I did mention coming from a technologically backwards society, didn’t I?” she replied as the last few cuts were treated. “So yeah. I was a pastel-colored pony in a world where magic exists on a nearly omnipresent level… and is a fun-house mirror of the one you know.”
“So… how have you been living here? Did you kind of take over your human counterpart’s life or what?” Grapes asked, packing the first aid kit.
“Well when I first came here I didn’t ENTIRELY think things through. I just knew there was another world on the other side of a portal that Starsw… a famous wizard created to deal with some serious magical threats. A world that could be a stepping stone to me achieving great power. So I packed a bag full of what I thought I would need including a huge pile of bits and jumped on in.” She thought back on things and elaborated. “Bits of course being the local currency of Equestria. Coins the size of an Oreo cookie and cast from pure gold.”
“Huh. That’s what we call our largest coin denomination. Not quite that big, and of course adulterated bronze,” Grapes said. “The paper money being called ‘bucks’, and smaller silver colored coins called spurs, and smallest copper coins called buckles. What can I say? We humans love to complicate things.”
“Yes well, you do have one thing we don’t have. A plethora of Gold-for-money-without-questions shops. One coin was enough to get started working this place out. Some research into investments helped me to work out how to invest the rest. Some quiet investments into stable companies with things people always need like zipper teeth and toothpaste gives me a living wage to… live off of. After that it was a lot of hard work to basically ‘catch up’ to a world where everything is so… different.” Shimmer said, peeking around the debris at the friends she had tried to break up.
“I can see that. Where are you living though? I doubt you’ve taken over a bomb shelter in the school or something,” Grapes observed, pausing as Luna came over, and very solemnly handed Sunset a cement trowel, the dumbed down duo bringing over a wheelbarrow of bricks.
“Luna, you know bricklaying is a skilled profession, right? The facade is going to look horrible if you make them do it,” Grapes observed.
“I don’t expect miracles, Sour Grapes.” Luna said with a nod. I hardly expect this to be… ‘magically’ repaired by morning. This is just an intern punishment until we can think of something far more appropriate Monday.” With that Luna walked off to meet her sister.
“Yeah. Detention doesn’t seem to really cover it…” Grapes observed looking thoughtful.
"Well, now you know my dark and terrible secret. I'm a brightly colored unicorn pony from a magical kingdom on the other side of an enchanted mirror."
"And yet you're still here,” Grapes observed.
"I got nothing to go back to there. When you get down to it, this world of... evolved simians is all I got." Shimmer was quiet a moment and sighed. "And Sparkle seems to think I'm... salvageable."
"Hm.. she may be a point. So...Back to my question, do you have a place to stay?"
"Actually, yes, I do. It's not like I was... I dunno, hiding out in some seldom-referenced corner of the library all this time," Sunset replied, dialing back her sarcasm.
"So you have a place. Is your money holding up?" Grapes asked.
"I'm not exactly rolling in the Bits here but, I have a steady income. Things would be better if I found a cheaper place," Sunset observed with a sigh.
"A cheaper place, hm?"
"Well less expensive but not worse than where I live, now, you know?" She clarified. "I live in the Hairy Arms apartment block over on Third and Jester."
"Oh good heavens. That neighborhood? I've got a boarding house. You're moving,” Grapes said assertively.
"Wait? What?"
"Third and Jester is not the best of neighborhoods even on a good day. I have a boarding house, and probably charge less rent than that place, and it's in a safer neighborhood," Grapes explained
"I... I... Um... Thanks? But, why are you being so nice?" Sunset asked.
"You're a smart girl, with a bright future that I'd hate to see killed in a drive by,” Grapes explained. "Also, I like you. You're as smart as I am, and have been helping me with my lesson plans."
"That's well... Thank you."
"No problem. I'll get some of my other boarders to help you with your move,” Grapes mused. "Stormy should be intimidating enough to deter any interference."
"Stormy? You mean Stormfront? He's the dance teacher, right?” Sunset asked.
"Yes, he is,” Grapes replied. "He and Mister Squall live at my boarding house."
"I never really thought about where they sleep at night... or that the hottest teacher at school lives with my history teacher,” Sunset said then blinked realizing what she had just implied. “...I didn't mean it like it sounds."
"Hot for teacher, huh?" Grapes asked with a smirk.
"Y-NO! It's just... High School Phys-Ed teachers are not supposed to have... Sky Blue eyes and 'Fab Abs'!” Sunset exclaimed, gesturing as if it would emphasize her point. “They're supposed to be balding with a paunch."
"He's a DANCE teacher, Sunset."
"So I've heard, but he's still a Phys-Ed teacher,” Sunset asserted. “Because of him the Wondercolts have actually improved this season. They aren't moving like flour sacks with feet."
“Amazing what can be done with just two days a week,” Grapes observed, then heard Earshot’s tap-tapping cane as he walked toward the entrance. She turned to see the freshman in question. “Ready to head home?”
“Yes Miss Grapes.” the young boy replied before tilting his head at Sunset Shimmer. “So, on the other side of the statue pedestal you’re a pony?”
“Uh… yes?”
“And over there, Miss Twilight Sparkle is a pony too?”
“Yes?”
Earshot was quiet a moment as if thinking about something before speaking again.
“Does that mean I would have turned into a pony over there too?”
“I…” Shimmer started before turning this question over in her own head. “You know, I think you actually would have turned into a pony too.”
“Sounds kind of weird. I mean, how would we have helped you to take over when we wouldn’t even have hands for weapons?”
“You know, he’s got a point,” Grapes observed. “You’d have had a bunch of teenaged ponies following you all doing the zombie shuffle, and unable to do anything else, because they’ve been humans all their lives.”
"Yeah… To be honest I had a much more elaborate plan than that but... I think all that magic just turned off the parts of my brain that govern reason and proper planning."
“So… shortest coup ever,” Grapes snarked with a grin.
“No doubt, especially when the rulers of the land can actually raise and lower the sun and moon at will.”
“... That’s scary,” Grapes said, making a face. “Anyway… We’ll get you moved this weekend,” Grapes said escorting Earshot out. “We’ll probably have to rent a moving truck or something for whatever possessions you have.”
“Right. I’m sure we can find something.” Sunset said before hesitantly adding “Sour Grapes? Thanks.”
“You’re welcome,” Grapes said saluting the former bully. “See you tomorrow.”
About halfway to her car Earshot turned to Grapes and spoke.
“You know what, Miss Grapes? I think I’m glad I didn’t go to that Desistia place. With my luck I’d have turned into a bat or something. OOH! Maybe a pony with Bat wings! That has possibilities.”
“It’s ‘Equestria’, Earshot. A land of ponies with the Latin word for horse, equis, as a part of its name. It’s the root word for ‘equestrian’, which means ‘having to do with riding horses,” Grapes corrected. “And a nocturnal type of pony with bat wings would fit you. You would probably be really adorable, too.”
“Aww, thank you, Miss Grapes. I only got one problem though.” He said as she opened the car door for him.
“Oh? And what would that be?”
“I’m supposed to regularly write home to tell everyone what life in another country is like. How exactly do I tell them about tonight without sounding like I need to be locked away in an institution for the ‘mentally interesting’?”
“That’s a really good question, Earshot. Maybe not bring up the magical stuff, and just talk about what you enjoyed about the dance?” Grapes suggested. “I’m still having trouble believing the whole magical transformation and rainbows thing myself.”