Kazooie felt like she was going down, down into a burning ring of fire… then again she shouldn’t have been screaming at the top of her lungs as she performed summersaults on her way to the ground blowing flames out of her mouth. Given the inability to fly being directly proportional to the distance she beak bombed, she was going to hit the ground at terminal velocity and it was going to kill her. Good things she had extra lives and could spawn right next to where she died.
There was only one problem with this and that was dealing with the local reaper consortium. She really hated red tape and politics unless she could get prinnies involved. Her favorite thing was tossing explosives around after all, even if they come in an animate penguin form.
Celestia flicked open the door to one of the many guest rooms in Canterlot Castle to reveal quite a sight to five other ponies. Of those five ponies only one immediately knew what she was looking at in the terms of the thing lying on the bed that Luna sat next too.
It had a disheveled solid white mane and tail, its coat was a light brown and its ears were decidedly not equine. The being on the bed was none other than a mare with odd ears and looking behind herself when they entered, they could see her brown dull eyes before she rolled to lay on her side with her back to them.
“Wow, Discord really shouldn’t have challenged Kazooie… or maybe he tried to cheat her after she accepted? It doesn’t matter since she looks so cute now!” It only took a minute of staring at the figure on the bed for the other ponies to actually acknowledge what they were seeing, Pinkie was without a doubt right that it was Discord, only it was melancholy female mostly pony version of him.
“Discord, is that really you.” Twilight tested slowly, she could understand why Luna would be laughing as it wasn’t every day the trickster was tricked. The pony didn’t answer her and only curled into a ball and away from her voice.
“Oh, I know what happened to him and if I’m right one of the phrases I’m going to say will cause him to react violently. Please be prepared to hold him down with magic.” Not quite understanding what Pinkie was getting at, Celestia nodded her head as did Luna and Twilight, which was when Pinkie started naming some odd stuff that sounded like food and strange events. “Ultimate clinger winger, rat race evolution, terra terror tubes of untimely hedgehog drowning and oh, was intruder excluder deluxe… Darn I thought that was the one. Let’s see fifty leveled Karnack’s lair… one hundred? Oh, wow… I think I know what Kazooie challenged him to do. She must have gotten Discord to play her game of choice and that’s never a good idea.”
“What Pinkie, what did Kazooie challenge Discord to do that would have you looking so sick?” Twilight notices the pale look on her friends face and she just looks Twilight in the eyes and winced.
“Well, you might want to get a good grip on Discord before I say it. All of you now, Fluttershy, Rainbow and even you Rarity… you’re really going to need them to get a good hold of Distress.” Pinkie’s hair flattened out and became straight much to the point that Rainbow’s eyes twitched at the sight. “Discord, please tell me you didn’t get amused at hearing her challenge you to the… I can’t believe I’m going to say this to someone who was obviously traumatized by it. Do the words… Terrifying… Turbo… Tunnels...”
The female Discord gave a girlish screech of terror and started thrashing around about how she didn’t want to go back to that PLACE. Ripping at the bed sheets with her hooves trying to find a way out of a horrible memory that just didn’t stop all the while exclaiming how she’d rather die than go back to that place and that was saying something for what had been an immortal chaos being who was always usually a jovial pest if anything.
In fact it really did take Rainbow and Fluttershy to help hold Discord down, she was mostly an earth pony without any chaos magic but her physical strength was through the roof as a trade off. It took several minutes before Celestia managed to sedate the wild ponified chaos being, the fear in her eyes was palpable to Discords ability to actually be afraid of something.
“Yep, Kazooie turbo tunneled him or should I say her? Poor Distress, she probably didn’t know what she was getting into until it was too late to stop it. To someone like me it’s just a place for pure fun but for her it must be a never ending nightmare that will haunt her. I’m talking like FOREVER kind of haunting, she’s probably so scarred that she’d probably never go near diamond dogs for the fear of even hearing the word tunnel again.” Pinkie’s hair puffed right back out as she went back to her cheery self. “But you can’t say that she didn’t deserve it. It kind of makes sense what happened to her if she started cheating against Kazooie in a game of skill. Distress really earned her ire and she only likes being beaten when there are benefits to losing and or if she was beaten fairly. I’m guessing she would have just taken his powers if he didn’t cheat, but he did so this is likely the end result.”
“How do you know for certain that Discord… oh right, I forgot who we were talking about for a moment.” Celestia then cleared her throat rather loudly garnering the attention of the five present ponies that were not her recently returned sister. “Doesn’t it bother any of you that there’s a mad female creature running around Equestria with Discords powers?”
“Not really, I mean if anything she was already chaotic before she defeated Discord. Also it doesn’t seem like she’s using them to do too much yet, so maybe she doesn’t know how to access them or use them correctly?” Twilight was soon pointing out all the stuff Kazooie had done and how it made no sense whatsoever. So far reality had yet to warp and it was either a good sign or a really bad sign for the elements of harmony and the princesses.
Elsewhere in a crater formed by a recent death outside the general Manehatten limits…
“I still say you have no jurisdiction over me… don’t make me call Gregg the British chimney sweeping reaper with a cute voice to talk red tape with you.” The elements of harmony had nothing to worry about as Kazooie was currently indisposed of quite literally arguing with the pony reaper about not wanting to pass on to the afterlife as she wasn’t dead, she just hadn’t yet invoked the power of all her extra lives yet.
“Come on Screwball, you’ve got all your fathers powers! This idiot just won’t acknowledge me as immortal with the consortium, can’t you do something?” Kazooie received a shrug from the still living pony standing at the craters edge who took on an amused smile at the situation, along with the two birds sitting on her back looking at Kazooie’s angry spirit with worry. Of course Screwball couldn’t interfere; she could do everything except mess with the life and death on a more personal level. Her father may have been cruel but he was never capable of directly killing something… indirectly however was another story and largely a loophole he really didn’t exploit. “Okay I guess you can’t do everything with all that chaos energy then, I’ll teach you some cool tricks I can do with a special emerald I have stashed away in my backpack. GREGG I summon your bony butt down here and bring me some apple schnapps while you’re at it! I need a drink as dealing with this undead bureaucrat is giving me a headache.”
Back in Canterlot Castle where the ponies were still staring at Distress as Pinkie called him.
“Oh, I just figured something out! Kazooie had to have beaten Discord while she was completely drunk… that’s really impressive considering they were doing the terrifying turbo tunnels.” Pinkie said idly while looking away from the other ponies, not willing to explain how she came to that conclusion.
“Pinkie, how could you possibly know that? We weren’t even there when Kazooie challenged Discord or even beat him. We’re still not entirely… or should I say every single pony but you aren’t sure of what she’s capable of.” Twilight saw Pinkie gave a gentle smile.
“Well Kazooie was always spirited and loved a challenged; some of her best friends where she’s from are actually well known for their crazy absurd challenges and tasks that she receives every other day to get jiggy with it. Just ask Distress when she comes around and she’d confirm whether or not if I’m right.” Pinkie hopped off humming to herself, leaving her thrice worried friends behind. Pinkie really was probably telling them a lot but it was like she was saying nothing at all. She quickly ran back into the room and sprayed an entire bottle of mustard all over Rarity before running off with these parting words. “You’ll thank me later Rarity!”
“Why would I thank you for ruining my pristine white coat, do you have any idea how hard it is to get mustard stains out of white coating!” Rarity yelled after her waving a hoof in the air in anger. “I swear the nerve of some ponies; this is almost as bad as when I try to drink grape juice around Sweetie Belle.”
“Okay now that we all know what’s going on, can me and Fluttershy go do something now?” Rainbow then proceeded to drag Fluttershy out of the room finally getting some time with her to herself.
“Well, I too feel like I should go do something… about all this mustard Pinkie sprayed all over me.” Rarity left in a huff to get herself cleaned up leaving Twilight behind with Luna and Celestia, not to mention the currently heavily sedated Distress. The three left behind ponies had a healthy fear for the future and were currently stressed out, maybe not so much in Luna's case as she found Distress to be one of the funniest thing she's seen in a thousand years.
Fluttershy and Rainbow were walking down the streets of Canterlot together; there was still a lot of tension between them.
Rainbow was almost entirely willing to throw all her loyalty into the relationship and never veer off course no matter the circumstances, but she was also curious about one thing and that was the subject of a crazy fowl mouthed bird.
“Okay Fluttershy tell me the truth, where did you see her?” Rainbow’s flat stare and voice was leaving no room for lies and Fluttershy squeaked in fear. What would she say? She wasn’t going to lie to Rainbow and she really wanted to start a more closer relationship with her.
“Um… how did you know?” Fluttershy said squeamishly hiding the right side of her face behind her mane and trying to appear smaller and meeker then she was already as Rainbow moved them into a nearby alleyway to talk, in the background several a pony with a mixture of berries on her flank was snoring in her drunken slumber.
“Hello, red rainboom? A red pegasus with unnaturally powerful abilities doing something I’m still perfecting from a standstill in mid air? What did she want with you?” Rainbow was being a bit rough and had Fluttershy’s back to a wall of an alleyway, when cornered the obvious response for Fluttershy was to either squeal in fear and say what little she did know as fast as possible or…
“Well...” Fluttershy state having her back pressed against the wall and Rainbow propping hooves up on both sides of her head. Fluttershy’s wings started to slowly unfurl and stiffen; she was beginning to feel heat come to her cheeks. How could Rainbow not feel her heart pounding in her chest at this range?
“Yeah… go on, did she threaten you again?” Rainbow said as she was dominating the conversation and wasn’t quite aware that Fluttershy for the most part was enjoying the feeling. She had Fluttershy pressed against the wall and her chest was almost touching the shy mares. Rainbow was only angry in a protective manner and Fluttershy was finding her righteous anger very nice.
“Not exactly… oh my goodness Rainbow, I’m sorry for what I’m about to do!” Fluttershy wrapped her hooves around Rainbow pushing her into the opposite wall of the alley with a surprising show of strength and slowly gave Rainbow a chaste kiss on the lips. Rainbow was surprised by the outcome, but soon she had to gently push the rather surprising fidgeting mare away from herself, there was quite an obvious amount of reluctance in the action.
“Fluttershy, what the hay was that!” Rainbow yelled putting both her hooves around her friend to prevent her from running off but held her at a legs length. Soon her attention was on the drunken pony in the background that sat up dizzily and wolf whistled at the position they were currently. Rainbow blushed when she noticed one of her hooves on Fluttershy’s thigh.
Fluttershy took initiative and started to hug her quite fiercely with a beet red face in disbelief at what she had done. Finding a head immediately buried itself into her chest Rainbow kind of found Fluttershy as adorable as she always is even if she was succinctly into mares or it was just her specifically.
“I’m sorry, so sorry… she was just trying to help me and then you and me… together and everything… it’s really all strange. I will never kiss you again if you want...” Fluttershy went from kissing Rainbow to a blubbering mess in seconds; she just couldn’t hold back any longer she wanted to cuddle up to Rainbow like she was now and not move for a long while.
“Fluttershy we should probably go get something to eat like we planned and then we’ll talk more once you’ve calmed down. Also no more kissing until we’ve worked out this relationship over food, I mean that’s how it’s normally done right?” Rainbow saw the downtrodden look on Fluttershy’s face and thought of something. Well she did apologize in advance… and Rainbow was fast enough to have actually gotten out of it, but she hadn’t exactly resisted Fluttershy and her sudden show of strength that comes and goes about as much as her powerful dragon stopping stares. “It was really… awesome… for my first kiss and all, but please warn a mare next time will you?”
Fluttershy pulled back and looked Rainbow in the eyes, seeing warmth when she expected the worse only when she looked at Rainbow she saw her wings were fully extended like her own. She had hoped those imaginary cupids fluttering around her head wouldn’t do anything worse than they already have. It was strange for Rainbow to be the voice of reason, but then again Fluttershy wasn’t in her right mind at the moment and was acting way to needy. For once Fluttershy did something selfish and she really didn’t like the guilt she accrued from it, but she considered it worthwhile to get her feelings off her chest. “Okay… sorry for stealing your first kiss… was it your first kiss?”
“Hey it was your first kiss too wasn’t it?” Rainbow saw Fluttershy perk up a bit, she wasn’t going to let a friend down and she was going to reaffirm her decision to work with Fluttershy on this. “Don’t worry so much. Just take things a bit easier will you; this is still a lot for me to take in. I mean you’re usually so calm all the time it’s kind of awkward how you’re acting now. If you’re looking for a comparison it’s kind of like Rarity if she were covered in garbage and screaming at the top of her lungs because she’s about to meet some fancy pony. So where do you want to eat? I’m buying and hopefully we can actually get our date off the ground before you become even better then Pinkie at being random.”
Rainbow called it a date and they were still going on it? Fluttershy’s face flushed and a small wondrous smile tugged at her lips as she skipped slightly as she followed behind Rainbow her heart filled with hopes for the future that Kazooie mildly suggested was possible. Most of the tension from her was gone, but Fluttershy wasn’t going to entirely relax until she had a good solid hold on their new relationship.
Speaking of Rarity… she was leaving Canterlot Castle to find something to get the stains out of her coat as there was nothing properly stocked for such an occurrence happening in the castle. In fact there wasn't mustard or anything like a condiment within fifty feet of the castle after the rather upsetting pudding attack and may explain the lack of supply, at least the castle smelled nice.
“Excuse me miss Rarity, what is that all over your coat.” Fancy Pants was an easy going billionaire type of male unicorn pony who has had a budding friendship with Rarity, his monocle and top hat were recognized in everywhere in Canterlot. Once he saw the mare that was rather generous in nature he decided to talk with Rarity and if it weren’t for those mustard stains he probably wouldn’t have seen her. Her friends were very enjoyable if estranged from the rest of Canterlot high society, a Gala really paled in comparison to a Pinkie Pie party. Like the one he had for his last birthday and as such Rarity’s friends were definitely his kind of ponies.
“Oh my, sorry you have to see me in such a dreadful state Fancy Pants. One of my friends got mustard all over me and it kind of stained my coat a bit.” Jumping a bit as she was addressed by Fancy Pants, Rarity gave a forced smile. While she did wipe the mustard off, it left a lot of yellow streaks on her normally pristine coat and washing it out was rather tricky business.
“Pinkie is still a bean dog lover huh? Fleur is quite taken with the food herself and knows a thing or two for getting it out of her coat, kind of helps to know the secret to it or else I wouldn’t be able to entirely enjoy my bean dogs with mustard either. You remember her right? Well come along then I think I know where she at this moment in time.” Fancy Pants was the nice type of rich pony and was quite social as he was jovial. He didn’t even mind if Rarity lied to his face a few times as he himself had fibbed quite a bit in his life so who was he to argue or judge. He knew Rainbow Dash could be a trainer of the Wonderbolts since she does spectacular work over Ponyville and all those free shows are fun to watch from a telescope at the edge of Canterlot. He wasn’t the only pony that could say that as his friends were entertaining the notion of her doing air shows not as a Wonderbolt but as herself.
Fancy had to wonder why Photo Finish didn’t give Rarity the light of day, but then again even camera working mares can get pretty jealous of a pony who took pride in making appearances and it was any wonder Fluttershy was seen so shortly afterwards rising rapidly through the ranks of fashion models with her naturally good looks and shy disposition.
Rarity stood there blinking and then absentmindedly followed Fancy Pants. Fleur De Lise is a popular model because of her size and slim frame, until Fluttershy stole the show from under her feet for a few weeks and it was rather surprising that the mare didn’t hold it against her friend. In fact as long as Rarity was here she might as well hang out with her other supportive higher life style friends as she wasn’t immediately needed to thwart some disaster.
The end results was Rarity thanking Pinkie Pie, after having such a nice evening with her other friends and even earned a few beauty tips from Fleur De Lise herself.