//------------------------------// // Washed Away // Story: Black Honey // by P-Berry //------------------------------// It was a warm summer evening in the outskirts of Las Pegasus. The sun had set about an hour ago, and the last beams of light were just about to vanish. The nightly silence got broken for a second by the sound of a door getting opened and a light yellow pegasus stepping out of the caravan standing in a corner of the fenced property with a resigned huff. Apogee heard the door fall shut behind her as she looked up, standing at the top end of the small set of stairs. “Apogee, wait.” She could hear the slurred voice of her mother coming from inside, followed by a slurred curse. The filly shook her head. Her mother had unmistakably told her to let her live her mother-effing life, so that’s what Apogee was going to do. Biting her lip, she lowered her head and carefully walked down the stairs. Knowing her mother, she’d probably fall asleep shortly, leaving her daughter with some downtime until her dad would come to pick her up in the morning. She felt a smile cross her face as she thought of Jet Stream. Her dad. The coolest, most awesome stallion in all of Las Pegasus. At least, that’s what she thought. Her smile vanished as her mother’s words from before echoed in her mind again. She knew that the two didn’t have the highest opinions of each other, but Jet Stream seemed to always do his best to be as objective about his ex’s antics as possible, and not influence his daughter’s image of her mother in a negative way. Delta, however… well, she hadn’t physically attacked Jet Stream when Apogee was around, so… that was something, right? Apogee frowned. She tried not to think too much about it, but she had to admit that sometimes she envied those ponies in her class whose parents were still together, maybe even married. Really, what she’d give to be a part of a normal, functional family, if only for a day. Her frown deepened as she walked down the stairs. Stupid parents and their stupid problems. Why couldn’t they just talk about it like normal ponies did? Just sit together over a coffee and talk things out! Really, this was no rocket science! At least Jet seemed ready to talk about those kinds of things, but whenever Apogee would bring up the subject of Jet around her mother, she’d just throw a giant hissyfit and drink herself nearly unconscious. Why couldn’t she just make amends with him already!? Hell, Celestia knows Apogee’s life would be a lot more pleasant if her parents wouldn’t be so beefy with each other all the time. Apogee rolled her eyes as she approached the bottom end of the stairs and took a step forward. Yeah, as if- She had stepped into something. Something warm. It was by then that the smell hit her like a punch to the nose; she screwed up her face and hastily pulled her hoof back. Yeah, that stallion her mother had dragged here. Just another one of many looking for a good time with not the prettiest, not the youngest, but … well, whichever category her mother fell under. Briefly, she looked around, wondering where he had gone, and spotted him lying next to the puddle she had just stepped into, snoring loudly, probably knocked out until the morning would come. Now that whatever he had come here for certainly wasn’t happening with the state Delta was in, he sure wouldn’t be missing anything. It wasn’t long before Apogee’s attention was directed back at her hoof and she made a face, quickly trying to get off whatever it was with a few quick flicks. As flicking her hoof didn’t work, she tried rubbing it against the dusty ground, disgust overwhelming her mind and only adding to her anger and frustration about the general situation. Why did her mother have to drag this pony here!? Why did he have to puke right there!? For crying out loud, at least those prostitutes Jet Stream ordered didn’t make such a huge mess! Of course, Delta probably wouldn’t have dragged him here had she known about her daughter sitting here and waiting for her, full of expectation. No, had she known about Apogee being here, she would have probably come back sooner, rolled her eyes a couple of times, insulted Apogee’s dad a time or two, and then eventually just gotten wasted while Apogee was sitting there, watching potato ponies and pretending that everything was fine. Really, wasn’t this how their shared evenings normally went? Apogee could feel her anger rise the more she thought about it. Seriously, whenever Apogee was around, Delta just made her feel like an additional weight on her back. When was the last time Delta had acted like a real mother towards her? Her face scrunched up with frustration as she actually caught herself contemplating that question for a second… but ultimately came up empty. “Damnit!” she finally shouted out her anger, stomping her hoof in frustration and missing the puddle of stomach-contents by only an inch. Her head shot back, eyes darting over to the caravan behind her where she knew her unconscious mother was lying in an almost-comatose state she herself had induced for the pettiest reasons. She could feel tears of frustration forming in her eyes as the images of her mother downing whatever alcohol she had managed to snitch now went past her mind’s eye again and again. This… this wasn’t what a mother was supposed to be like! This wasn’t how all the other moms she knew were! Moms were supposed to be a role model! A good example for their foals! Not drinking themselves half-dead because they were oh-so-unhappy with how things were in their life. This… this just wasn’t right! She could feel a guttural growl escape her throat as she lowered her head, all the times Delta had been annoyed or bothered by Apogee’s mere existence flashing past her mind’s eye. Then, suddenly, she could feel anger overwhelm her as her head shot upward, her increasingly wet eyes focusing on the door in front of her, and she shouted out her frustration. “Why can’t you be a normal mom for once!? Just once!?” she yelled on top of her lungs, a little part of her anger finally being set free. She knew all too well that her mother couldn’t hear her, but damn if it didn’t feel relieving nonetheless. “Just act like a normal mare instead of being the local antisocial drunkard!” she continued venting her anger, “Quit doing this to yourself! Just man up, go to see Dad and-“ she caught herself off mid-sentence, well-knowing how the two of them meeting would end. Namely, playing the blame game, followed by below-the-belt insults being thrown around, followed by one of them furiously storming out. She paused for a second, feeling anger boil inside her, then let out another curse. “Shit!” She raised a hoof, slamming it against the ground in front of her hooves, hard. What she didn’t consider was the bile-puddle still in front of the stairs in all its slipperiness. Her hoof slipped away, the momentum from her punch causing her to lose balance and topple over forward.  Instinctively, her wings spread out in an attempt to stabilize herself, but before she knew it, she was lying face-first in that abhorrent mixture of alcohol, bar-snacks and stomach acid. Really, it took all of her self-control to not add something to that puddle herself. Retching, dry heaving, and shivering with disgust, Apogee slowly arose from the puddle, wiping a hoof over her face. She made it about halfway up before her legs gave out on her and she collapsed with a heavy sigh, rolling to the side to keep herself from landing in the vile puddle again. She didn’t want this anymore. None of this. Really, Jet Stream couldn’t come soon enough to release her from this… whatever it was. Of course, she could just go back inside, take a shower and sleep in her mother’s bed –nothing she hadn’t done before, really- but… well, then she’d have to go in there and look at her again; see her lying on the ground unconscious. It wasn’t a situation anypony enjoyed seeing their mother in. Another sigh escaped her lips as a question she had asked herself earlier now began to resurface. When was the last time Delta had been a real mom to Apogee? Not just a makeshift caretaker while Jet Stream was away, but a real, genuine mom. That thought caused her to reflect again, her thoughts drifting off. Yes, as hard to believe as it was, there were certain situations in the past where it really had felt like Delta was at least something remotely comparable to a mother. In fact, there was one memory from not too long ago, arguably the last ever positive memory Apogee had of her mother at this stage. It was a sunny afternoon in early spring, a good four years ago. Delta Vee had just finished her daily workload -which, throughout the past months, had consisted of not much more than walking around the premises of her junkyard and checking if the junk hadn’t suddenly moved by itself- and was now ready to spend the rest of the day on her steamer chair in front of her caravan. She had just laid down, sunglasses covering her eyes, and a nice, full glass of ice tea -with just a relatively small side of alcohol (she was feeling good today)- standing ready on the ground next to her. She was already about to close her eyes and drift away when two shadows flying over her and blocking out the sun for a second caused her to startle ever so slightly. Lifting up her sunglasses and blinking a couple of times, she could make out the vague shape of two ponies landing in a fair distance from her, although she already knew all too well who the unexpected visitors were. Two ponies visiting her at this time with no invitation. That could only mean two things. Either somepony she owed money had once again hired a pair of thugs, or the less desirable option… “Hey Delta.” the awfully familiar voice of her ex-coltfriend caused her to cringe even before she saw him. She knew where this was going. He had only said two words, and already she knew just what the ‘problem’ was. Namely, that Jet Stream wanted to go to a strip club in Las Pegasus and had to offload their daughter onto Delta for the night. Of course, he’d never openly admit that, and since she wasn’t in the mood for another argument, she merely rolled her eyes, using the most common term Jet normally used for his ‘business’. “Meeting?” she asked dryly, raising an eyebrow. “Good to see you too.” Jet Stream replied with a roll of his eyes and a slightly annoyed huff as he came closer. “But yes, one of our planes had some technical difficulties over in Manehattan. Something about an endangered bird being sucked into an engine or something. And now they’ve called in a crisis committee. Hate to ask you again, but could you take care of Apogee for the day?” “Yeah yeah, whatever.” Delta said with a roll of her eyes, “Go and have fun with your hookers.” Jet’s face turned red, though it wasn’t clear whether it was with anger or with embarrassment. “T-that’s not-” “H-hey, mom.” He was cut short as the filly in question came walking from behind her father and walked up to her mother. Delta’s frown deepened noticeably as she saw her - pale face, teary eyes, running nose… this didn’t bode too well. “Apogee’s a bit sick, so please be careful around her.” Jet explained, sounding genuinely concerned for a moment. His look went to the watch he was wearing around his hoof, and he shook his head, turning around on the spot. “S-sorry, but I really gotta go. Get well soon, sweetie.” “Bye, dad.” Apogee said over her shoulder as she sniffled, closing in on her mother. “How you doing, mom?” she asked with a slightly muddled smile as Jet Stream departed, leaning over her mother to give her a hug and resting her head on her shoulder. “It’s great to see you a- a-” Instinctively, Delta forced her eyes shut as she felt her daughter’s body tense up. A-choo! “Oh, uh… s-sorry, mom.” Apogee said a bit sheepishly as she pulled back, rubbing her nose. “It’s… fine, dear.” Her mother replied, only slightly annoyed. She’d have to shower later to clean that snot off her back. “So, what are we gonna do?” Apogee asked in her usual excited manner, but then hesitated, sniffling again, “I, uh… I… don’t really feel too good today.” “No shit, kiddo.” Delta grumbled, still a little bummed about the unexpected turn of events. She thought for a second, then came to a conclusion. “Come on, let’s get you inside.” “O-okay, mom. I guess you’re right.” That caused the cyan mare to stop for a moment, turning back to look at her daughter with an intent stare. Had she… had she really just voluntarily agreed to spending the day inside? The filly sniffed again, wiping her nose with a hoof. “I don’t really feel like… doing anything today.” Delta’s eyes widened with worry. Well, that was… unexpected. Either her daughter had been replaced by a changeling, or she really was feeling exceptionally bad. Well, as it turned out, she was. A few minutes later, Apogee was lying in her mother’s bed, blanket pulled all the way up to her chin, yet still shivering. Fever was dampening her perception, but she could hear her mother walking up and down in her caravan’s main room, muttering to herself. The filly forced her eyes shut, pressing her aching head into the pillow. She knew exactly what was going on, and she knew exactly how her mother felt. Delta had planned to have a relaxed day full of lying around and doing nothing, maybe going out in the evening to… see some friends or whatever it was she did when she was out for so long. Apogee didn’t really want to think about it. But, well… now Delta had Apogee to take care of - all of her carefully-made plans, ruined because the filly was ill. Really, it made Apogee sick at heart, being such a burden to her mother. If at least she were healthy, she could help her mom with things around the junkyard, but in her current state… She shivered, feeling her eyes drifting shut for far longer than what would have been normal. When she opened them again, she saw her mother in the doorframe leading to her bedroom, eyeing her with a mostly deadpan expression. “I’ll be out for a bit, kid.” Delta Vee explained, a little bluntly, “Don’t leave the bed, will you?” “S-sure… mom.” Apogee replied, blinking the dampness out of her teary eyes and sniffling her nose again. Well, that worked too. Delta probably was going to a bar to have some fun now. At least… well, at least she didn’t let her sick daughter box her in. Really, the last thing Apogee wanted was to be a burden to her mother. “Ha- have fun, mom.” Apogee muttered into the nothingness as her head dropped back against the pillow, “Sorry for blocking your bed by the way. Just let me know when you need it. I’ll move.” Gradually, she felt herself drifting off, but caught sight of her mother looking back at her for a moment and slowly shaking her head with a… strange look on her face. Apogee couldn’t tell if it was concern or disapproval before her sickness caught up with her again. The filly felt her eyes drift shut, giving a soft sigh. Really, the last thing she wanted was to limit her mom in any way, but… still, sometimes it would be great if Delta would be there for her a little more often. Just… a little more. By all means, this wasn’t the first time her mother had left her home alone. Really, Delta parking Apogee in front of the television and then taking off to get drunk and hook up with random strangers was a rather common occurrence, especially in recent years, so the turn of events didn’t really surprise her. Although… heck, she didn’t know. She would really prefer if her mother would stay with her just this once… or at least not come home drunk off her face and snore like she normally did. Apogee normally didn’t care too much about being kept awake by those kinds of noises, but especially now the thought of lying awake at night with her pounding headache and swimming vision, listening to her mother snoring -or even worse, doing that thing- next door just made her feel all the more miserable. She remained silent for a moment, letting these thoughts circle in her head, then mouthed a quiet ‘oh well’ to herself. It’d be selfish of her to expect her mom to change her lifestyle, really. Apogee must have fallen asleep shortly after, as she didn’t remember what happened afterwards, and was only snapped back into reality as something awfully, awfully cold touched her forehead, causing her to wake up with a startled gasp. “Shhh… just relax.” It took her a moment to come around. She opened her eyes, but was blinded by the light coming from outside, rendering her sightless for a moment or two. While she was quick to recognize the familiar voice of her mother, it sounded… way different from how she had come to know it. While it still had its raspy undertone, it sounded… awfully soft; gentle, and caring. When Apogee finally managed to open her eyes again, she found herself looking back into those of her mother, who was sitting on the bed beside her, leaning over her and gently pressing a washcloth soaked with cold water against her daughter’s hot forehead. “M-mom?” she asked, visibly confused, raising an eyebrow. “Why… why are you back already? Was the bar closed?” While Apogee didn’t notice it in her fevery state, there was a frown flashing over her mother’s face in that moment at the suspicion that this was the first place her daughter would expect her to go to. But she quickly shook her head, directing her attention back at the washcloth on Apogee’s forehead. “N-no, sweetie.” she said, her voice still sounding so… oddly soft. “I just flew to the store real quick. You’ve got a pretty bad fever.” Delta leaned back, reaching behind herself and lifting up a white plastic bag with her muzzle. “I got some meds and a bit of broth.” she said, presenting her loot to her daughter and cracking a thin smile as she added, “That’ll have you back on your legs in no time. Hell, you’ll be kicking flank better than before!” “T-thanks… mom.” Apogee said, a little perplexed. “I… I promise I’ll try to get healthy again as soon as possible. D-don’t wanna burden you for too long.” “Cut it out.” her mother retorted, gently, but with a motherly assertiveness. “You’re not gonna walk out of here until you’re ready to kick the world’s flank again.” Despite her sorry state, that prompted a soft giggle from the sick filly. “It’s okay, mom. I’ll manage.” Wanting to prove to Delta just how fit she was feeling, she wanted to sit up in the bed, but was promptly stopped by a cyan hoof placed firmly on her chest. “Nuh-uh.” Delta stopped her again, using that motherly, authoritative tone that still sounded so bewildering to Apogee as she slowly shook her head and gently pushed her back down. “You’ll stay right here.” “But mom-” “Hush.” she cut her off softly, “I’m here with you, okay? We’ll get you back to your hooves again in no time, so don’t worry.” Apogee opened her mouth to protest, but then cut herself off. She couldn’t quite explain it. Somehow… well, there was something in that look her mother gave her. A certain kind of… reassurance, really. It showed her that… well, that Delta knew. She knew that her daughter was feeling utterly miserable. She knew that Apogee couldn’t fool her into thinking otherwise. Yet at the same time, it showed Apogee all too clearly that she wasn’t alone. That Delta was here with her, taking care of her, and genuinely caring about her. Really, it wasn’t a look Apogee saw too often on her mother, but in this second it answered all of her questions, and cleared out all of her doubts at once. And really, she felt a deeply rooted feeling of safety; of a security and a comfort she had never quite felt before as her mother leaned forward, giving her a gentle kiss on the forehead. “Just trust your mom for once, alright?” Apogee lay still for another few moments as the memory faded away. She… really didn’t quite know how to feel right now. On one hand, there was the fact that she was lying on the cold, dirty ground, covered in bile, all thanks to her mother’s apparent carelessness. On the other hand, just thinking back to that day… it served to remind her of something. Namely, that her mother could care; that she was capable of being this caring, loving, gentle pony if necessary. And essentially, it made her realize once again that, despite how she tended to act normally, her mother did care. Maybe she didn’t care all the time, and maybe she did have difficulties showing it most of the time, but… the realization that she would drop and leave everything when she’d realize that her daughter really was in need of help… it brought her solace. More importantly, it made her realize something: her mother wasn’t perfect. Well, that wasn’t really anything new to her. What was new to her, however, was the reminder that her mother was actually trying. Trying to be the mother she knew she should be; trying to be as much as a role model to her teenage daughter as she could be… hell, trying to be a better pony, if nothing else. Apogee could feel her face lighten up as she thought of other occasions where her mother had, albeit subtly, shown her daughter that she did care about her - smaller presents, helping her with her homework when she could, or just… just being there for her. Listening to her worries, offering her a shoulder to cry on, gossiping about the bullies in school... Admittedly, all these things depended on her mother’s mood and daily form, and were by no means a common occurrence, but rare as they were, they did serve as a reminder that, once again, her mother did care. She had always cared, and she would always care. Even if she sometimes had a hard time showing it. With these thoughts in mind, the filly got back to her hooves, and shook herself like a dog to at least get some parts of the nauseating coating out of her fur. She raised her head as she walked over to the caravan’s door, her face lighting up ever so slightly. There was something she knew she could do to show her mother that she appreciated it all; that she appreciated the times Delta had been there for her - scarce as they might have been. A good ten minutes later, a freshly showered -and still slightly fluffy- Apogee came walking from Delta Vee’s bedroom, carrying in her muzzle a thick, black -and slightly odd-smelling- wool blanket. Slowly, quietly, she walked over to where her mother was lying on the ground in the middle of her living room where she had presumably passed out before, snoring loudly in her alcohol-induced sleep. Looking down at her mother’s sleeping form, Apogee couldn’t contain the thinnest of smiles forming on her face. When disregarding the fact that she had passed out from excessive alcohol consumption, she almost looked… cute, lying there. Shaking her head, she gave a brief sigh, leaning forward and pulling the blanket over her mother, covering her body all the way up to her neck. She could feel the cyan mare give a soft twitch as the wool touched her wings, and gave a gentle snicker in return. Done with her work, Apogee remained standing in front of her mother for a moment or two, looking at her in silence. Really, it was a small gesture, but Apogee was sure Delta would appreciate the thought - at least, she hoped so. In any case, she was sure there was some talking to do the next morning - if anything, she was looking forward to spending a day with her mom, no matter what that might end up being about. She’d just have to be careful not to be too loud - if there’s one thing she had learned from her mother, it was that whiskey caused some of the worst hangovers out there. The filly chuckled softly to herself, then leaned forward, gently nuzzling her mother’s cheek. “Good night, mom.” she whispered softly, “Just… don’t give up, alright? I know you’re trying to do better, and I know you can do it. … I believe in you.” With that, she pulled back, letting her gaze linger on Delta for another moment, before walking over to where she had set up a small pile of blankets and pillows for herself to sleep on. Of course, she could just go for the more comfortable option and crash in her mother’s bed like she normally did when Delta was out getting drunk, but… really, in this moment, all she wanted to do was be close to her mom. Maybe it’d show Delta that Apogee still hadn’t given up on her; that she still believed in her mother; and was convinced that she was a good pony deep down. With these thoughts in mind, Apogee felt herself smiling again as she lowered herself onto her makeshift bed. She looked over to her mother again, feeling her body relax, then closed her eyes. Yes, her family wasn’t perfect; her mother even less so. But she still wouldn’t trade them for the world.