“Couldn’t sleep?”
Sunset watched with mild amusement as Starlight jumped about a foot in the air, backing away from the fridge.
“No,” Starlight answered once she had calmed herself. “Same for you?”
“Yep,” Sunset shrugged, moving to the still-open fridge. “So, why are you awake? Are you up purposely, for sleep issues, or for nightmares?”
“I-I’m not sure,” she said. “Maybe a bit of everything. Why are you up so late?”
“Regular issues,” she answered, levitating sandwich ingredients. “I sometimes have trouble getting to sleep, something about my brain still going while my body screams at me to rest. Though, now I think it’s because I’m used to having someone or something with me when I sleep. Even if I’m not at a sleepover, I have a dog who likes to sleep on my bed, so I’m used to Rhea. Mena could work for the warmth factor, but Phoenixes aren’t really ‘cuddly’.”
“That… makes sense,” she frowned.
Both paused to take their snacks to the counter.
“You know, this is a little déjà vu like,” Sunset said. “A while back, Twilight and I were both going through problems and couldn’t sleep, so we met up in the kitchen during a slumber party and talked it out a bit. Though now I have an actual sandwich instead of nothing but whipped cream.”
“Don’t think my problems can go away with just talking,” Starlight sighed.
“Probably not just from one late-night kitchen talk,” she agreed. “But hey, you get to have a lot of time to work it out.”
“It’s just…” she let out a sigh. “How well do you know Twilight and her friends?”
“That’s complicated,” she shrugged. “I know Twilight pretty well, but the versions of her friends I know best are on the other side of the Mirror. From what Twilight tells me, they’re pretty similar other than cultural differences. I’m not going to pretend I’m an expert on the ones here, but I can guess how they’ll react to things. Speaking of, I’m guessing that you’re asking me because you’re worried about how they’ll react to something?”
“In a sense,” she admitted. “It’s just… how do they do it? They’re just giving me a second chance, even though I was terrible to them, tried to take their talents, and sort of destroyed the world several times because of time travel. I’m glad they’re doing it, I just don’t get why?”
“Side effect of Friendship,” she answered. “You see the best in ponies, even if they haven’t always been nice. You know ponies can change for the better, if they want to. You want to change for the better, so they’re going to believe in you.”
“Just-just blindly believe in me?” she almost scoffed.
“Well, no, not really,” she said. “It’s not a blind belief. They’re not idiots. They know you can change, but if you’re not changing, they’ll figure something else out. Not to say you have to be perfect. You can screw up as long as you’re trying, you know? They’re not perfect either. After all, they are ponies who have emotions and can feel leftover anger or lack of trust, so they’ll have to get over that.”
“Great,” she sighed. “Any tips for that?”
“Time,” she shrugged. “Some more than others.”
“So, if they’re enough like the ones in the other dimension…” she wondered.
“Well, you already have Twilight on your side,” she said. “Pinkie and Fluttershy are going to be easy. Flutters is too sweet to stay mad if you’re genuinely trying to fix things, and Pinkie’s almost more into ‘friendship’ than Twilight. Rarity will be mad longer, but being Generosity includes giving second chances. Aj and Rainbow will be toughest.”
“I kinda expected that,” she said. “They were… a bit passive-aggressive when helping me move.”
“Better than aggressive-aggressive,” she swallowed. “But here’s the difference between them. Aj’s thing is more out of stubbornness. Best way to get through to her is talk directly, apologize for what you did on a personal level, then ask what you can do to help fix things.”
“And Rainbow?” she asked. “Isn’t that stubbornness?”
“A different kind of stubbornness,” she nodded. “She’s not upset because you hurt her, she’s upset because you hurt her friends. While talking directly can help, she’ll want you to prove yourself somehow.”
“So she’ll test me?” she almost laughed.
“She probably won’t set up a test,” she said. “But trust me, if even half the stories Twilight’s told me about Ponyville are true, she won’t have to. Hopefully your ‘test’ will be a minor problem and not, like, another major villain.”
“Are you sure it’ll work?” she asked.
“No,” she answered. “After all, I’m only guessing at the versions of them here. Even then, they could always surprise me. But I believe that as long as you try for it, it’ll work out.”
The answer wasn’t exactly what Starlight had been looking for. Sunset finished off the rest of her sandwich before letting out a sigh.
“Listen,” Sunset said. “I know that it’s less of a problem in believing them than it is you believing in yourself. You’re asking ‘why me of all ponies? Why do I deserve a second chance? What do I even have to offer the good side anymore?’. And it’ll be a while for you to believe the answers.
“You don’t have to have anything to offer to the good side,” she said. “Because it’s not about what you can ‘offer’. You deserve a second chance because everyone does. And you are getting one because you want to change. Trust me, if Twilight didn’t think you could be a better pony, she wouldn’t have hesitated to do whatever it took to take you down.”
“Are you sure about that?” Starlight asked. “She told you about our Time Battle. I fought her off every time and managed to change the timeline again and again.”
“No offense, but she was holding back,” she said.
“She had everything to lose, why would she hold back?” she asked.
“Because she thought she could help you,” she said. “Seriously, Twilight is one of the most magically gifted Unicorns ever. Her older brother was Captian of the Solar Guard and taught her spells the Guard use to protect Royalty. Her father is one of the Royal Mages and has been teaching her high-level spells since she could handle magic. Then she was taught spells by Princess Celestia herself. As another pony who knows those Spells, let me tell you, they are Ancient and Powerful, and far beyond what even most of the CSFGU students learn. And who knows what she’s learned from Princess Luna or even Discord? Sure, she couldn’t properly battle Tirek with all the magic he sucked up, but a time traveling Unicorn could easily be blasted if she went in horn blazing. ”
“I think it’s just hitting me how bad of an idea that all was,” she swallowed.
“Trust me, I know the feeling,” she laughed.
“I don’t know,” she said. “You didn’t accidently run a cult and then try to destroy the Timeline out of spite and confusion over what is ‘right’.”
“True,” she nodded. “But I did break into the Dark Magic section of the restricted library, have a verbal fight with Princess Celestia, fled to another dimension, and manipulated a school full of students into hating each other for the purpose of tearing apart one specific friend group. And that was before I stole the Element of Magic and went nuts with Dark Magic that literally transformed me into a Demon.”
She laughed at Starlight’s shocked expression.
“Not the same circumstances,” Sunset said. “But we still have our similarities. Of course, I’m still figuring out things too.”
“Really?” Starlight asked once she found her voice.
“Yeah,” she laughed. “I’m still not good at thinking things through properly. Rash decisions and quick anger and all that.”
“So, you’ve been through ‘proving yourself’ before?” she asked.
“As I said, Pinkie and Flutters were on board immediately” she said. “Though I did still apologize my butt off for everything. I was apologizing, being nice, helping out with things and all that for a few days before Rarity gave in. I talked for a while with AJ about everything in general, and she came through because she could see I was trying. By the time I saw Twilight again, the others vouched for me. Of course after that we had to deal with Sirens using petty things to turn everyone against one another, but other than that we were good.”
“So what was Rainbow’s ‘test’ for you?” she wondered.
Sunset stopped and swallowed. She’d tried to block out that incident. With a shudder, she decided to trust her.
“After everything, a lot of people said things,” Sunset said. “It took a week and a half before someone tried to get physical, but that’s because it was the first time I was alone. The guy he… he dragged me into another hall and slammed me against the wall. He wanted me to go somewhere that he could have ‘alone time’ to do whatever he wanted for revenge.
“Fuck,” Starlight whispered.
“Yeah,” she nodded. “I forget what it was that set me off, but I screamed and started fighting back. That drew attention. Eventually Rainbow dragged me off him and took me somewhere else. At first she was mad at me. After all, I’d been viciously attacking one of her teammates. But the face she made when I told her… That’s a rage I never want directed at me.”
“Damn,” she said. “Sorry I asked. I mean, sorry I made you relive that.”
“Not your fault,” she nodded. “But back to Rainbow, hopefully you don’t have to go through something major like… like that. But she’ll come around.”
“I bet,” she said. “So, just wait for her test. Great.”
“Any other advice for the night?” she asked.
Starlight paused, thinking for a moment. Sunset waited, not caring if she got an answer or not. Eventually she got up to put her dishes in the sink.
“How do you make it up to those you hurt?” Starlight asked.
“I’m still figuring that out,” Sunset sighed. “It takes a while, depending on how many you hurt and how. And not all of them will forgive you. I’ve made up with a good amount of people in the other world, but some of them still hate me and think I’m faking it. This whole trip is part of that. You probably caught on to Lance being my brother and my plans to go home earlier. I’m coming back to apologize for leaving six years ago. I don’t know if I’m ready to face everyone I hurt, especially Princess Celestia. She respects if I can’t, but would like to. Which is so weird to me. But hopefully I’ll figure it out as it comes, right?”
“I guess that’s all we can do,” she nodded.
“Hey, it’ll be alright,” she said. “Just keep trying, and take it at your own pace. Okay, maybe give in a little if Twi pushes you to make a step forward, but if you truly think it’s too much, talk to her and she’ll understand.”
“Shouldn’t she know best as ‘Princess of Friendship’?” she asked.
“Yes and no,” she said. “Friendship is a constant learning process, because every friend is different. What works for one won’t work for another. I mean, if being the friendliest pony and having as many as possible was what made one ‘Princess of Friendship’, then we’d have Princess Pinkie Pie, and I really do not want to know what she could accomplish as an Alicorn.”
“Oh stars that’s terrifying,” she almost laughed.
“But Twi’s the one who became Princess,” she said. “It’s kind of like the difference between your usual Spellcasting Unicorn and those of us that have gone to some sort of higher magic schooling. Any Unicorn can levitate or use hammerspace, but only those who’ve taken the time to look into it understand the spell matrix and can create new ones. Pinkie makes friends naturally, but Twilight takes the time to understand why and how it happened.”
“That makes too much sense,” she said. “Still, kind of hard to go back and apologize. How do I even do that? They probably think I’m some sort of evil dictator or something. How do I say ‘I was terrible but thought I was doing the right thing at the time’ without it sounding like an excuse?”
“No clue,” she said. “Did you really think you were doing good?”
“Part of me thought it was somehow wrong, even if I ignored it,” she admitted. “But for the most part I thought I was doing the right thing. I was trying to help them, the only way I knew how.”
“It might sound like an excuse, but it’s a leg up on me,” she said. “I knew I was being terrible, but I thought the ends justify the means. I guess Twilight was right about our differences.”
“What do you mean?” she asked.
Sunset could’ve kicked herself for that. Realizing she couldn’t backpedal, she decided to tell the truth.
“We kinda joked around about how similar you and I are,” Sunset said. “You know, powerful Unicorn goes to the darkside because of various issues, gets a second chance because the Power of Friendship.”
“You’ve got a point,” she gave an amused eyeroll. “Differences included.”
“Even our reasons were similar but different,” she said. “You went down that path because you lost a friend, I did it because I couldn’t gain the friend I wanted.”
“What friend?” she asked.
“Celestia herself,” she huffed. “I wanted her as a friend, but she stayed distant and played the perfect princess. I thought if I could become a Princess myself then she’d treat me as an equal, as a friend. But as time went on and I didn’t get that, I forgot why I wanted it in the first place.”
“Well, maybe you can get a second chance,” she said.
“Maybe,” she sighed. “Thanks, for listening.”
“Hey, I was the one freaking out,” she said. “Just returning the favor then.”
Both smiled, put their dishes in the sink, and went back upstairs to get as many hours of sleep as they could.