CHAPTER 4
The gang had been roaming the city streets of Brain Central borough when their attention was eventually drawn to posters and advertising boards depicting a concert going on in the Ears Valley; as it turned out, the Vestibulocochlear Nerve transit line was packed with crowds of festival-goers all heading to this concert. Princess Luna and Spike were keen to go; Luna because she thought it might better her reputation as a well-meaning princess to learn how such events works, and Spike because he had always liked concerts, especially one that Rainbow was hosting! Curiosity got the better of the two of them, but this caused friction with Twilight and Scootaloo. They were adamant that they should be searching for messages or any indications which might help in their ongoing investigation. Scootaloo in particular was desperate to save her idol from any trouble - even if a gig inside Rainbow's ear might have been the coolest thing she could imagine doing... "You must be joking" Twilight scoffed at her dragon.
"No Twilight, come on! We can afford to have a look around; we may even get some answers" Spike suggested.
"This is ridiculous. We need to be looking around, not off at some festival wasting time. I think her stomach may be a good place to start."
"Princess Twilight, I feel it may be advantageous for our search" Luna pipped in.
"Yeah" Spike agreed, "We'll get more answers surrounded by ponies there than you will just by standing around here!"
"We'll just see about that!" Twilight huffed at him, and the four split into pairs. Although initially angry at her friends' desertion, she began to think to herself whilst Scootaloo looked miserable beside her. Can it be, that whatever negative energy is in this place is already affecting us?.
And so, as Twilight and Scootaloo hailed a cab and disappeared down a tunnel headed Downtown, Luna and Spike endured a crowded ride to the station where the herds of fans disembarked and headed down the ear canal. Music was blasting down the waxy corridor, and the pair were surprised at how loud it was. “I didn’t think this was Rainbow’s kind of music” Spike shouted over the noise, as the punkish rock blared out of speakers set up around a stage. Luna smiled and absorbed all the sights and sounds of the scene. The performers were cellular in composition, not quite like the microponies but more simple organisms – nonetheless, they were all dressed up in black and were playing their instruments intensely to the cheers of ~3000 citizens. The outer Ears Valley was a strange area; the outside world was practically within reach, normally visible through a tiny hole at the end of the seemingly-endless ear canal. On this occasion, however, there was no outside light to be seen – this made the duo nervous. Using a smaller magic orb for the pair of them, Luna flew down the canal over the concert, way down to the end. The music became louder and louder until they eventually realised that Rainbow had something in her ear: a headphone. The giant earbud soared up into the sky, the speaker diaphragm’s tiny grooves the size of craters, so big they could see through them to see all the wiring behind. The orb mercifully didn’t allow much sound to pass through, otherwise they’d have been exposed to decibels unparalleled in history! They returned to the gig and began asking around if anypony knew of an evil Breezie or suspicious citizens. Unfortunately for them, this was a festival and nobody was in any mood to have a serious discussion or offer help to obvious tourists. Spike looked at Luna, "I think we may have got sucked into this..."
Luna nodded. “Let us head back downtown, we need to be somewhere where we can see anything Rarity may try to tell us” she decreed, and they boarded the transit line and watched a television with a news network providing updates from the various parts of the body. Spike’s attention was caught by a report which seemed to depict the stomach.
“Luna, look!” He pointed at the screen as the broadcast went on.
“An enormous intake of chilled smoothie is set to cause delays in the digestive highways later today, so prepare yourselves for traffic jams, folks – What? Copy that, yeah, let’s avoid any acid reflux, Joyce…Breakdown officials and RDPD officers were left dumbstruck earlier as an unidentified object was found among the smoothie contents. Studies are ongoing whilst…”
“That must be it, let's go!” Spike pipped, as a number of passengers groaned and started complaining to each other about the report. Spike, meanwhile, felt sad for leaving Twilight, but hoped they might reunite in the stomach.
---
The stomach was just how they remembered it: a beachside resort, a marina and harbour, with massive cruise-liners adorning the horizons of the acidic lake. Various large submarines were also docked at this strange place. As ever, it was vibrant and full of life – with microponies and the Breezie things enjoying the purified waters nearer the shores and strolling along the boardwalk, even if it was also looking a little dishevelled and in need of renovations. Hotels were now crumbling, and a large stilted casino was completely closed off, with evidence of corrosion all along one side. Right in the centre of this vast lake sat an immense pile of mush; pinkish-red in colour, and giving off steam and vapour due to its sheer coldness. As if it were a cherry on top, the ‘unidentified object’ sat atop the mound of smoothie, as tiny boats surrounded it and began the laborious breakdown task. Within a few minutes the object finally broke free and splashed down through the mush into the stomach acid, sending a large wave towards the beach. A klaxon warned citizens to get onto land, and once it had calmed, the gang and numerous citizens stood in awe as the object became apparent: it was a bottle. How Rainbow Dash had swallowed a bottle this small was anyone’s guess, but the princesses had both suspected it had something to do with Rarity, and so flew towards it unaware of the other, leaving both Spike and Scootaloo on the pier. As Spike walked slowly along the pier, he bumped into Scootaloo. "Oh. Um, hi Scootaloo." Scootaloo looked unimpressed, so he continued: "Luna and I feel bad for breaking off like that. We didn't even have much luck. Guess we should've gone with our gut, like you did." Scootaloo laughed at the pun and gave him a little hug, then she asked where Luna actually was. "She went off to investigate that pink stuff floating out there" he gestured towards the open waters. Scootaloo's eyes widened and she explained that Twilight had done the exact same thing! At this point Spike spotted a familiar face: the police officer he’d questioned the first time they’d discovered this place. Smiling, he headed over to him and struck up conversation, introducing Scootaloo – who began obsessively photographing it all - and admiring his shining RDPD badge.
Twilight and Luna, meanwhile, had reached the bottle, far off into the open waters, and inevitably caught sight of each other. "I'm sorry about earlier Luna, I shouldn't be so uptight. I trust the concert was fun?" Twilight asked hopefully, but Luna rolled her eyes and shook her head. They laughed and recommenced snooping around. They observed that, whilst they were microscopic, this glass bottle couldn’t have been more than a millimetre or two high. It had a scroll inside, and setting themselves down on the mound of cold smoothie – smelling a little less appealing now than it might have done for Rainbow – they used their magic to squeeze the giant scroll out of the bottle and read its message. In the background, various vitamins and fibre organisms were presenting their documentation to Border Control officials who had travelled by boat with the Breakdown team.
The message was informative and detailed, neatly signed by Rarity, and after it congratulated them on their teleportation spell it explained all about the Eevies and Rainbow Dash explaining them to Fluttershy, but more importantly…how Rainbow Dash came to know of them. “Luna, is there something you’re not telling me?” Twilight asked impatiently.
“Hey!” came a manly shout; Twilight and Luna looked down to see a Breakdown worker snarling at them. “This area is off-limits and dangerous for unauthorised personnel. Beat it!”
With a huff the two flew back to shore, and Luna bowed her head. “It’s true, I’ve seen these species before. The Eevies. Truly evil things. I didn’t recognise them at first; I couldn’t believe they were still around.” She sighed, but Twilight urged her on. “I don’t remember why I bothered telling Rainbow Dash about them; it must have been one of those dreams of hers where she likes to take on and fight a whole bunch of whatnots…ugh, my sister and I thought we had defeated the Eevies, but apparently not.”
“They must have relocated and somehow found a new home inside Rainbow Dash.” Twilight considered, as they returned to the pier to find Spike and Scootaloo reunited. "Guys we mustn't fall apart like that. We need to stick together as a unit, because I fear that breaking up is just what these damn things want us to do! I don't know what exactly is going on with things around here yet, but I want you here because I know we can crack this together. Everypony okay?"
"Yes, Twilight."
"Sorry, Twilight."
After a group hug, she turned to the police officer who'd remained loitering nearby. “Hello officer”, Twilight addressed him. “May I ask you a few questions?”
“Spike here's already been doing that for a while, but go ahead.”
“What are Eevies doing in this city?”
“It’s a long story, Princess Twilight.” The gang gasped. “Don’t be so surprised, it’s not every day we see outside folk – larger folk – making their way into this place, and I sure wasn’t going to forget one of Rainbow’s best friends in a hurry. Oh, and her sister of course,” he winked at Scootaloo, who blushed.
“So what happened?”
“Some time ago, the Eevies came into the city in these odd capsules. They came in with a sandwich I think, but they were quickly overthrown and I believe only a few survived and escaped, to the bowels. We had captured and interrogated these survivors initially, to learn of their background. We even sent for some of City Hall's Memory Department experts – claiming to have prior knowledge of these creatures, thanks to you, Princess Luna – and after wearing them down we eventually got a story out of them.”
“And…?” Twilight, Spike and Scootaloo all asked in unison.
“Basically, you know the capsules they shrunk and froze themselves in? The survivors said these capsules attached to Applejack’s fur when she was digging them up accidentally. Apparently she then brushed herself, and the capsules fell into the sandwich that our dear Rainbow proceeded to eat unaware. See, the capsules could not be activated until a specific substance ‘defrosted’ these centuries-old critters. Only recently did they finally emerge from their chilled tombs…and ever since, they’ve been slowly taking over our wonderful city…” he looked down, ashamed as if he alone were responsible.
The gang paused as they absorbed this information. Behind them, a loudspeaker announced to the beachgoers: “Traffic update: Small Intestine Toll on Route 101 blocked, due to clog from earlier arrival of smoothie. Stay cool, citizens”.
Spike spoke up next: “what was the substance that activated the capsules?”
“I’m afraid I was never told. None of us were. We were simply instructed to stop them at all costs. The DAA – um, Dashies Antibodies Army - were on it in a flash…kind of a ‘destroy first, ask questions later’ job, I suppose.”
Twilight pressed, “Do you know what happened to the old mayor – 'Axon Tremor' or something?”
The officer’s eyes widened. “Action Tremor hasn’t been seen for a while. I believe he was last seen by one of my colleagues on a patrol in the left kidney a week ago.”
The gang all exchanged glances. “Thank you officer, we’re sorry that this city has got so out of order. Don’t you worry; we’ll fix this.”
“Ah good. I had hoped that was why you were here, as opposed to just sightseeing again!” And with a chuckle he walked off.
The gang huddled up as Twilight assumed charge: “Right, we’ve got to find a way of getting to the kidneys. We need to find Action Tremor and get some information. If anyone knows what that substance is, he will. Maybe then we can use what we discover to turn it against those Eevies.”
Nodding in unified agreement, the others proceeded to look around for a subway station, but a cab seemed the easiest option and they soon hailed one, on their way again. “So much for hospitality; last time it was all private helicopters and VIP limos.” Spike moaned.
“That was then, Spike. The city obviously isn’t right at the moment, and maybe Action Tremor can give us some answers, anything – even a limo for you, Spike.” She offered a smile as the cab turned onto a busy highway route – Urinary Tract Route 23 – and sped its way down a twisting and winding tunnel.
CHAPTER 5
The cab dropped the gang off in a bustling district at the centre of the left kidney. The Renal Artery highway soared over their heads into this hub, and all around them various microponies were going about their day, albeit rudely and aggressively. It’s so strange to see them all acting so hostile, Twilight thought. The kidneys – apparently within the Lower South Side borough – were quite an industrial neighbourhood filled with factories and power stations. All around there were aqueducts, canals, reservoirs and two large dams dominating the distant view. The canals, most of which were simply rivers of blood but also a few glass-covered tubes labelled LK Canal 2: Waste Fluid, RD Sanitation Department – flowed straight and smoothly through the streets and traffic, the cars manoeuvring out of the way of them. The largest blood canal was even being enjoyed by a few barges and small boats, floating slowly down the current which was presumably to transport them to other parts of Rainbow’s vast body. A newspaper colt was shouting a headline on the street corner near where the foursome stood: “Extra, extra: Mayor’s Hard Cider spree set to force temporary kidney closure!” Luna gasped at this awful news, whilst Scootaloo shook her head sadly.
“She loves her cider, she just loves her cider…” the filly said.
At this point, Twilight approached the colt. “Excuse me, my name is Princess Twilight – I’m a friend of Rainbow Dash in the outside world – and I –“
“Woah! You’re friends with Rainbow Dash?! That must be like the coolest thing ever!” he interrupted.
Twilight looked confused and was taken aback. “W-why would you even…? I mean, you live inside her, you should know her better than me!”
“Yeah but, to be friends with what we’re all working hard for!” he insisted.
Twilight pushed on. “Well if that’s the case you’ll appreciate that this place is NOT at the level it should be. I would like you to tell me where I can find Action Tremor.”
The colt sniggered. “That old pushover? He lives alone, somewhere downstream on a dingy old barge. Good riddance, if you ask me.”
Twilight thanked him and went to find the others, who had wandered into a café nearby, the Kidney Stoners’ Café. After telling them where the old mayor was, she walked back out with them and found a small boat rental along the main canal. What Twilight didn’t see was the newspaper colt proceed to speak discreetly into a walkie-talkie hidden under his papers. As Twilight negotiated with the unfriendly boat assistant, Luna sat on a bench and pony-watched. She was feeling bad for having neglected to properly terminate these unwelcome pests now taking over the city. But how could she have known that Applejack would inadvertently dig them up and proceed to...practically spoon-feed them to the pegasus? She was determined to do her part to clean up this mess, and was contemplating whether to get her sister Celestia involved as well. After all, Celestia knew just as much about these devious things as she did. She sighed as Twilight returned with a set of keys, and they walked down the little stilted dock off the canal to find their boat. It was a tiny thing, just big enough for the four of them, but it set off smoothly enough as Luna manned the controls. Twilight nudged Luna to keep her hooves away from the horn; they were behind a large barge, and on its stern was a sticker: Go ahead and honk, I’m reloading. As they floated downstream, Spike looked down and winced at the sight of Rainbow Dash’s blood. “Ew, this is just the tiniest bit gross.”
Scootaloo laughed, “Come on Spike, we all have blood – and unlike those waste canals, at least this is clean! I think it’s cool, watch this: now I can say Rainbow and I really are family, it’s in our blood!” She proceeded to graze deliberately her hoof on a sharp edge on the boat, and moved her wound towards the bloody river’s still waters.
“ARE YOU NUTS?!” Twilight screamed, dragging back the filly onto the boat and staring her down. “Who knows what horrible substances might be floating around in this blood, even if it has just been filtered?! These Eevies might have perfected the art of contamination!” Scootaloo blushed as Spike shook his head teasingly.
“I should like to think the workers up in the kidneys are able to control such matters” Luna observed, but she and Twilight both knew that it was a possibility, given the circumstances and the headline they’d heard from the newspaper colt. Eventually the busy hub of the kidney changed into the blue tunnel of the Renal vein, and lamps lit the way for them down this dark tunnel. A sign indicated that their destination was the ‘Drainage Centre’, and some young microponies made some noise as they slowly overtook the gang, each of them sitting in inflatable rings as if this were a lazy river. They passed a few turnings but after a half-hour or so of slowly moving down the canal, they reached an opening shortly before the terminus. It was in this briefly-widened section that they caught sight of a dark object docked to one side on a crumbling pier. There were a few small buildings along this pier, but they all looked long-abandoned; half of the motel’s sign was on the floor. “There,” Luna pointed to the object, and as they steered towards it its appearance became clear: it was a barge. The black barge’s name had been attempted to be covered up with black paint, but it still read through as Il Pegaso Volante. They slowly pulled up next to it and boarded. Cautiously, Twilight knocked on the door; it opened slowly.
“Yes?” a withered stallion emerged slowly, adjusting his glasses.
“Action Tremor…? It’s me, Princess Twilight. We’ve come to-“
Before she could finish, Action Tremor grabbed them and speedily hauled them all inside, slamming the door shut behind him. “Were you followed?” he asked, seating them at his cramped table as he busied himself at his kitchenette. The barge was cluttered and damp, filled with papers and files up to the roof. Barely any sound from outside came through.
“Erm, no I don’t believe so.”
“Good…good…oh, Princess it’s so good to see you. And you, Princess Luna! And Spike, my dear dragon! And is this…are you the filly I think you are?” He offered a hoof to Scootaloo, who shook it and beamed with a nod. “Incredible - first you come here, Twilight, and then all of a sudden family can’t seem to get enough of it!” He smiled at Scootaloo, who blushed.
Twilight didn’t look too amused. “Mr. Tremor, something horrible has happened to this place! What is going on around here, why are you living in this remote place?!”
“Ah come now, Twilight, nopony wants to see me on the streets anymore – me, a Mayor who’s been deposed TWICE from office! Never in Rainbow Dash history has that ever happened! But first your friend Discord and now…now this.” He sighed, and brought a tea-set to the table.
“Now what, Action Tremor? Please tell us, we’ve come all this way to help.”
Action Tremor got up and paced around the room, past his TV which was turned on but muted. It was tuned to RainbowVision – the 24-hour channel which broadcast the view from Rainbow’s eyes – and it seemed Rainbow was with Fluttershy at some sort of petting zoo fair… Well, at least Fluttershy’s doing what I asked her to do, Twilight thought. “An Eevie guard – I’m assuming you know what they are by now – told me about his species when I was myself interrgoated by them a short while ago. Everything I know, I know based on what he told me.” He paused, looking deflated and unwilling. The gang sat in silence; Scootaloo drinking her tea was the only noise. Action Tremor gazed at an old battered poster up on his wall; it appeared to be a political poster promising ‘a safe city in Tremor's safe hooves!’ with his own smiling face alongside it. With a heavy sigh he turned back and stood before the four outsiders. “Okay, I’ll tell you what I know. But it’s no small issue.”
CHAPTER 6
“The city’s current Mayor came from an anti-establishment campaign in Southside known as the Rebel Bowel Movement. They’re a rebellious bunch of fools, those Eevies - they joined the movement and convinced its members to assist them in their schemes. You see, their initial plan, years ago, was to take over Griffinstone from within. The Eevies are very technologically advanced; they develop things I couldn’t have dreamed of seeing for another century! They eventually grew tired of their griffon neighbours and decided to turn them against each other once again, so they produced this shrinking nanotechnology, which they only completed a year or so ago, to infiltrate the mundane griffons. I suppose that accounts for the punky attitude. The Eevies’ plan was first manifested when our Rainbow Dash visited Griffinstone with Pinkie Pie – ah, I remember that…the hilarious scones, the rock-climbing…what a fun trip that was – sorry. Anyway, the Eevies saw an opportunity to make Rainbow and Pinkie Pie act as pony 'intermediaries' in their plans, and the two were supposed to be such by now, but that rock-climbing incident meant the Eevies' supplies - and back-up necessary to complete their mission - were swept away due to the winds in that abyss. The guard told me that these supplies had been traversing Rainbow's tail to find the main team he was part of, and the winds sent them all flying. So instead, he and the remaining Eevies lived in our Tail County until being gradually wiped out themselves…or so we thought.”
Twilight and Luna exchanged glances, struggling to comprehend what they were hearing. A police siren in the distance broke the brief silence.
“A few of those tail survivors managed to make it into the City, but with only two or three of each other for company, and being monitored by myself and the police, they caused no trouble. Rainbow Dash may have dreamt about them with you, Luna, but they were very much already alive inside her body, unbeknownst to her – and, as long as you're already in, you don't need a renewed travel permit. That’s what makes all this so darn difficult. Then, the picnic incident arose.” The gang looked confused, so he continued by offering an explanation: “A few years ago City Hall organised a picnic with Applejack and Rarity and their sisters. I believe you were there too, Scootaloo.” Scootaloo thought for a minute then nodded with a smile. “Anyway, this picnic proved to be a fatal error on our part: we didn’t realise the location was near where you, Luna, told 'us' the remaining Eevies had buried themselves. That little digging game of yours caused the Eevies to catch on Applejack’s fur as she dug. Once she brushed and dusted herself off, their capsules were sent flying – and as bad luck would have it, they ended up on the sandwich we were about to consume here.”
Scootaloo sighed as she remembered how, on that day, Applebloom had boasted about what good sandwiches she always made. Action Tremor continued: “anyway, in came the sandwich – and with it, these capsules. Of course, none of us had seen these things before; everything I’m telling you now I know from when we interroga-“
“Yeah yeah, we know this part,” Spike interrupted, “their capsules needed a substance to be activated and it happened recently. ‘Officer Exposition’ explained that much.”
Twilight frowned at her little dragon before turning to the stallion. “Sir, we were hoping you might be able to tell us about whatever that substance was. It might prove useful against them.”
Action Tremor looked upwards and then spoke, “the substance you refer to is called Librozene. Nasty thing. My scientists had spent an eternity trying to figure out how to open those capsules with various other substances. Those few Eevies we were monitoring – the ones who were already here – refused to tell us what the substance needed was, but they clearly recognised the capsules as their own. So, we became very sceptical and on-edge in case the substance appeared. Officer Exposition - whoever that is - is right that it only recently entered the city; it was when Rainbow Dash exposed herself to that horrendous ‘apology’ pie for Pinkie. Dear me, that was close. You see, every friendship dilemma you have out there is like an international conflict between our cities; Pinkie’s issue with the pies saw us come close to cutting all trade ties. Fortunately we reached an agreement!”
“Mr. Tremor, we’re going off-topic…”
“Of course. So, Librozene was all over that smelly circular monstrosity Rainbow held, and even though we didn’t have to go through with ingesting that pie, the damn Librozene was quick enough to enter her mouth and nasal passages. It didn’t take long before it reached the capsules in the stomach discreetly, and sure enough the capsules opened. The DAA and police forces then opened fire and overthrew them at my instruction, and we thought that was the end of it; a few escaped to the bowels but we thought nothing of it…how wrong. With the Eevies repopulating down there and joining the Rebel Bowel Movement, their leader paid me a visit and seized City Hall by force. Since then, they’ve taken control of Rainbow’s hormones, emotions and voice-box overriding – and all of us citizens have had to watch our gloriously awesome city…crumble! My loyal government employees have been imprisoned, and our army have no choice but to switch allegiance. Various other cities have pretty much been converted successfully - such as Gilda and Greta, I think – and Rainbow is…now at ‘phase 2’ or something…oh it’s just so horrible!” He broke down and wept.
As Twilight and Scootaloo embraced him and offered a shoulder to cry on, Luna’s attention turned to the television set; Spike joined her. Through RainbowVision they could see that Rainbow Dash was still at this petting zoo fair with Fluttershy, and Spike unmuted so they could hear the conversation:
“Come on Rainbow, don’t you want to come and cuddle this lovely little raccoon?”
“NO, Fluttershy, it looks dirty and gross…think of all the stuff he rolled around in.”
“B-but Rainbow, you said-“
“Yeah I totally changed my mind! I don’t know why you spend so much time with these animals.”
At this obnoxious comment, Fluttershy began to cry as the animals surrounded her for comfort, whilst Rainbow Dash’s bored eyes turned to the various stalls at the fair, including a Daring Do stand and a sweetcorn harvest.
Luna turned to face the others. “This is simply appalling, we cannot stand for this nor allow it to happen.”
Twilight looked up sadly, as Action Tremor composed himself. “Well what can we do, Princess Luna? City Hall have total control over her.”
“We have to infiltrate City Hall then, this way we can control Rainbow’s speech and make her apologise. Then we need to contact the DAA and remind them who they serve, where their loyalties really lie.”
“Then they can help us kick those bloody Eevies out!” Spike said.
“And make Rainbow Dash awesome again!” Scootaloo added.
With a determined look Action Tremor stood up. “I’m coming with you. Heck, you could do with a guide around some of these parts. I feel largely responsible for this whole mess, so I’d like to assist you in putting an end to it.” The gang smiled warmly and followed Action Tremor outside. He led them out onto the dock and around the side of the barge, where a dark tarpaulin cover lay. Removing that, the foursome watched in disbelief as he proudly started up his speedboat’s engine. “Much faster than that old junk” he said, gesturing to his barge. “We’ll reach the kidneys much faster this way.” They boarded the boat and soared upstream, the boat cutting through the waters at bullet speed, waves of churned blood oscillating down the tunnel. A few oncoming boaters gestured rudely at the speeding crew, but Action Tremor merely laughed: he was clearly enjoying this newfound lease of life. However, as they reached the right kidney, Spike nudged Twilight when he turned and saw a dark boat following them into the docks. The pursuing boat was clad in black but with a rainbow stripe running along it, and the City of Rainbow Dash seal emblazoned on its sides. Dismissing this as simply a patrol boat given their speeding, they hurriedly climbed into a cab and raced through the veins' highways to the neck, where the driver changed onto the nervous highway that ran alongside the subway for a while until they reached Brain Central.
Scootaloo set a diversion by drawing crude graffiti on the side of the brain, dragging out a large number of City Hall officials who were eager to see what the commotion was outside. The Eevies made up a large portion of the new employees here, but the gang frowned and managed to sneak inside to the elevators. Just as Scootaloo was about to be arrested by the police, she vanished into thin air. Poofing back in a cloud of purple smoke in the elevator, she looked up at the Princesses, who were panting. “Thanks! That spell is awesome…so far so good, right Action Tremor?” Action Tremor was looking at the panel of buttons and trying to remember where to go.
“There’s a secure room on the 17th floor which I think has access to the voice-box override. That may be a start” he said, pushing the 17 button. They whooshed up through the cerebrum as fast as a neuron, and the doors opened.
CHAPTER 7
The Mayor stood right in front of them, surrounded by Eevie guards and - to their horror - the newspaper colt from earlier. The Mayor patted the colt on the back, smirking evilly at the shocked fivesome. “One of my best spies,” he said, before adopting a serious and unimpressed look. “Mister Tremor, I hardly expected you even to remain in the city at this point. Don’t you think you’ve let them down enough times now?”
Action Tremor looked hurt, but Twilight stared the Mayor down. “What you’re doing is unnecessary and cruel – you don’t have to be the bad guys, here. If you just let me-“
“SPARE ME!” the Mayor interjected. “Spare me your friendship magic jargon rubbish. We have worked too hard and for too long on this mission, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let you ruin things now. Guards! Take this worthless stallion and put him with the others.” Two Eevie guards grabbed Action Tremor – who tried to give a reassuring look to Twilight before he was dragged out of the room, hurling insults at the Mayor, who then let loose a very unsettling grin at them. “Now, our Rainbow’s tale isn’t quite as ‘nice’,” he began, “as the story you’ll create by breaking in twice.” Scootaloo scowled and Spike growled at him, but he went on. “And what’s this? Are these…unauthorised tourists we have here?!” The gang looked at each other, confused. “I don’t see any travel permits on you. Cecil, arrest them.”
The large pony to his left nodded to his fellow guards who went and hoofcuffed the four of them. “All visiting personnel must present valid travel permits,” he said, reciting it in such a way that it sounded automatic - he must’ve said it enough times – “failure to produce the appropriate documents upon request will result in immediate and indefinite incarceration.”
“But…” Luna began to protest, but the Mayor silenced her.
He bellowed at them, “learn the rules!” and laughed mockingly. “It looks to me like we have five illegal germs who’ve tried to enter this city through a small cut we received on the hoof earlier today.” He laughed as he planted an unpleasant-looking varnish on the gang’s flanks, and then the guards began to drag them to the elevator. “Wait,” he stopped them. As they turned to him expectantly, he lowered his face and looked nastily across the room, “chisel ‘em.” The guards nodded, but the gang had no way of knowing what was in store for them as the lift unexpectedly went upwards.
---
Twilight, Luna, Spike and Scootaloo had been shoved onto a helicopter on a helipad atop the brain. The squishy surface was unpleasant underhoof – especially with their front hooves tied - and they had almost been grateful for the helicopter seats. What made them suspicious was the running rainbow stripe and logo on the helicopter: Rainbow Dash’s gaping open mouth, with M.S.D. in its centre. All but Scootaloo knew all-too-well where this helicopter was heading; they’d even ridden in one before. They all sat in silence as the chopper made its way over the busy streets of Brain Central before taking a turning onto a nerve highway labelled ‘Oral View Boulevard’. The traffic below them eventually petered out, mainly because the entire highway ahead was blocked off from public access with bollards, toll-booths, security fences and anything else to make it look as unapproachable as possible. “Looks like things haven’t got any better for Oovla and co. yet” Spike said almost jokingly, but they all knew it spelt danger.
The chopper reached the mouth from the back of the throat, and the view that they had come to know so well appeared once more. Spike couldn’t help but reflect on his adventures here, for he had been here more than anyone else: that first time months ago, when Twilight had experimented with Zeromac one morning, and during her demonstration to the Mane Six he had been accidentally shrunk - ultimately ending up swallowed by Rainbow Dash unintentionally and needing to be rescued from digestion by Twilight’s magic; and his more recent visit with Twilight and Luna, when Action Tremor had allowed them freedom to explore this region of the city - an area long since off-limits due to unsafe and unsanitary conditions; it was this issue that Oovla had been trying to do away with. Discord, who had been with them that time, had naturally caused mischief to make this job harder. Now, Spike found himself back here in a much more serious situation, unsure what was to happen. As Rainbow’s vast jaws of teeth hung loosely in front of them, the immense tongue below them heaved ever-so-slightly. The chopper flew towards the red beacon flashing on the base of the uvula, which was where the control centre was for the Mouth Sanitation Department. The pilot pulled up next to a window on the side of the observation deck, where an Eevie worker approached and wrote on a clip-board. “What’s this for, then?” she asked.
“Got some germ prisoners here, Stephanie. We have a little surprise for them.”
“Oh?”
“What’s the schedule here?”
“We have no action reported for about 30 minutes, Malice. Expecting sweetcorn by then, hunger levels rising along with boredom apparently.”
“We’re gonna chisel ‘em” Malice said with a grin, and he lowered his shades as Stephanie signed something down and went to fetch somepony. As the gang sat waiting nervously, the mouth opened up. The outside light poured in and lit up the entire mouth, blinding the helicopter crew momentarily. “Dammit!” Malice shouted, as the others shielded their eyes. Rainbow’s enormous tongue lurched upwards as her jaws opened wide, and Malice fought for control of his chopper as it swayed and veered in the streams of air that came rushing in.
--Rainbow Dash let loose a wide yawn loudly, closing her eyes and sighing as Fluttershy frowned at her. “I’m sorry this fair isn’t to your liking, but you don’t have to be rude about it, Rainbow Dash” she said sternly, but Rainbow simply shrugged as they moved to another stall.--
“You want to warn me next time there’s an incoming yawn?!” Malice said furiously as Stephanie returned to her window. He was quickly shushed as a mustard-yellow mare emerged from behind Stephanie to face him at the window.
“Maverick Malice, I’ll have you know that City Hall's desired sleeping patterns have left yawns an unpredictable occurrence at the moment. I suggest you take it up with Respiratory.” The mare who spoke was Oovla, the head of the MSD. She had been pleasant enough to the gang when they had last visited. “And who have you got back there?”
Malice snarled. “Some germs from a cut we got downtown.”
The lie didn’t seem to convince Oovla, who peered into the cabin. Upon seeing the familiar faces of Princess Twilight and Spike, Luna and even Scootaloo, the faintest of pained expressions crossed her weary face. “Oh dear…Very well. Carry on, Stephanie” she said, and speedily turned herself away from the window, appearing to hold a hoof to her face in distress as she walked off.
Stephanie’s antennae twitched and then she spoke through the window: “Okay Malice, take them down. You can use…M7. Oh, and when you’re done I could use some help with the ulcer.” Malice seemed to know what ‘M7’ meant as he instinctively steered the helicopter down towards Rainbow’s lower-right molars. As they soared down through the cavernous mouth, the gang spotted the aforementioned ulcer: it was a ginormous thing. Rainbow must be in a lot of pain from that, or…can you get ulcers from being really bored? Twilight thought to herself as they peered out curiously. They soon reached the right side of the jaw. To microponies, the teeth were massive - like great white hills and mountains that rose up from the plaque-infested gum-lines of the pegasus’ mouth. Twilight recalled how Rarity on her visit here had bemoaned the ‘uncouth’ appearance of it all, and felt a sense of abandonment from the outside world now – what was Rarity doing now? How was Rainbow to know that her friends were currently inside her mouth? Malice took them one-by-one out of the chopper and onto the hard surface of the tooth. The enamel surface was white and vast, rising up and down like a frozen sea storm. Luna seemed to find it particularly painful to walk on, under her covered hooves. Pointing an unfriendly-looking weapon at them, Malice led each of them to a large slab placed on the tooth, and upon the slab was a pole. Twilight grimaced as she saw unpleasant-looking stains around the pole; Malice tied the four of them up to it tightly together.
“Now, Rainbow is apparently suffering from massive boredom because our friend Fluttershy is dragging her through some fairground nonsense,” Maverick Malice addressed them as they stared angrily at him from their stake, “and what with the City having an earlier start than anticipated this morning, she’s also a bit on the tired side.”
“And the point is?” Spike asked, unamused.
Malice glared at him. “The point, impertinent dragon, is that all of this causes Rainbow to inadvertently grind her teeth! At this point I don’t think I need to explain where this is headed…something to really sink your teeth into, no doubt you'll find out!” and with that, he laughed and boarded his helicopter. The foursome panicked and struggled in their ropes, with Twilight’s magic unable to break through the tense fabrics. As the chopper flew off, they heard and felt the white chompers above them come unnervingly close to clenching the jaw shut ( - indeed, Rainbow was now sitting bored with Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie in an audience watching an animal tricks show - ). The princesses watched sadly as the chopper hovered by that window of the uvula once more, and they were sure they could make out Oovla doing something in the window overlooking their section.
“That double-crossing dirty little-“ Spike began to freak out and curse the MSD’s chief, but Twilight shushed him.
“Princess Luna, do you think we have enough left in our tanks to use the teleportation spell again?” Twilight asked her fellow princess nervously.
Although their wings had been tied down, their horns remained untouched. Luna sighed as Scootaloo and Spike cheered them on – but they all screamed when the upper molars above them crashed down onto them. Fearing the worst had happened, they opened their frightened eyes to discover that Rainbow Dash had clenched her teeth at such a position that they were caught in a groove of the curvature which spared them a chiselled finale! “Um, could you possibly use that spell sooner rather than later?” Scootaloo asked, with the tooth above grinding its way slowly towards her side of the pole, the enamel coating peeling with every grind.
Luna tensed herself as her horn lit up. “On the count of three, Twilight Sparkle… one…two…”
And on ‘three’ the teeth clenched together with a crash on the pole where four prisoners had stood, shattering it into pieces and sending fragments splashing into pools of saliva down below the gums and tongue. Oovla, seemingly satisfied with the job done, reached for her binoculars and surveyed the damage through the uvula’s observation deck windows. Upon seeing that there was no sign of the four captives anywhere – and knowing the magic those princesses possessed – she assumed their escape. She radioed City Hall and passed on a message to the Mayor that the job had indeed been done, and then afforded herself a sly smile.