"And so..." Fluttershy's eyes twinkled as she gestured in the warm air of the parked car. "...the male seahorse takes the female's eggs in his pouch and carries them throughout the gestation period, releasing them over the course of two weeks—per average. And after thousands of baby seahorsies are born, the male will actually repeat the mating cycle once again! Ensuring more young are hatched into the surrounding waters!"
"Eeeeeeeeugggggggghhhhhh..." Rainbow Dash moaned, splayed out in driver seat's fully-reclined chair. She grasped at her prismatic bangs with two gnarled sets of fingers. "Isssss thatttt soooooo—?"
"Hee-hee! Yes!" Fluttershy cupped her hands beside her smiling cheeks. "Isn't it incredible? I just think it's the most adorable thing. The male in the seahorse relationship is such an active and caring participant in the mating cycle!" Her eyelashes fluttered. "Could you imagine if the guys you and I know were capable of such attentiveness?"
"It'd certainly put the military draft into question," Rainbow muttered.
"I just love talking about amazing facts about the animal kingdom!" Fluttershy purred. She brushed a silken pink bang away from her eyes and grinned wide. "Hey! Want to know how swans make love?"
"Guhhh!" Rainbow Dash sat up straight with a frown. "How long has it been?"
"Huh? Oh—you mean since Sunset's and Twilight's date began?" Fluttershy looked at her cell phone. "About an hour."
"Uggggh..." Rainbow slumped back again. Fwomp! "How long does it take for two people to just smooch anyways?"
"Uhm..." Fluttershy toyed her fingers together. "I... don't think either Sunset or Twilight are looking to get kissing out of tonight."
"What?" Rainbow looked up, ruby eyes blinking. "Why not?"
"Errr..."
"That's the whole point of this... this... thing, isn't it?" Rainbow stood up, gesturing limply towards the eatery far beyond the windshield. "Chipping away at all the stiff pretense and getting to the action!"
"Romance isn't like a Twitter feed, Rainbow Dash," Fluttershy remarked with folded arms. "Some things in life you just have to wait for."
"I'm not saying they should bump uglies," Rainbow said. "Maybe just... y'know... bump pretties first."
"Oh." Fluttershy tapped her chin. "Well..."
"Who do you think's gonna make the first move?"
"I... don't think... either of them are planning to make amy 'move,' Rainbow."
"I bet it's gonna be Twilight."
"Whoah. Uhm... really?"
"Yup!" Rainbow Dash gripped the dormant wheel of the car, smiling devilishly. "And if I was her, I'd know just how to do it too."
"And just how would you?" Fluttershy gulped. "Although... I-I shudder to ask..."
"Well, Sunset Shimmer's the bigger and stronger of the two, right?"
"She is?"
"So, if I was Twilight, I'd know that intimidating Sunset would be out of the option. But seducing her? That's another thing altogether!"
"Uhm..."
Rainbow's fingers tightened around the wheel. "I would just play it cool... lean my awesome body against hers... let her feel every saucy curve and breath. I'd tickle her shoulder a bit—playing with my fingers while I played with my words. Us girls love to be tickled."
"Personally, I don't really—"
"And I'd be like 'Hey babe, how would you like me to rock your world? Cuz I've got a whole lotta rock and you've got a whole lotta world.'"
"Snrkkk..." Fluttershy covered a goofy grin. "Uh huh...?"
"And then..." Rainbow Dash's eyes fluttered shut as she traced loving circles around the steering wheel with her petite fingertips. "...I'd wrap my arms around her awesomely-toned muscles... kiss my way up her neck... relishing in the day-old scent of sweat and hay. And finally—when my fingers have got her gasping my name over and over again—I'd kiss her over and over again on the cheek... one kiss for every freckle..."
"Uhm..."
"...call me a 'varmint,' will she? I'll show her. I'll make that self-righteous workaholic see stars. THEN who's the 'lazy one,' huh? HAH! Hah hahhhhhhh..."
"Rainbow Dash...?"
Rainbow's eyes flashed open under a bead or two of sweat.
"Since..." Fluttershy squinted. "...when did Sunset Shimmer have freckles?"
"Uhhhhm..." Rainbow squirmed in her seat. "Uhhhhhh..." She bit her bottom lip until it nearly bled. "Ssssssssshe's a redhead!" her voice cracked. "Don't all redheads h-have freckles?"
"Uhm. Not that I know of."
"Uhhhh... uhhhhhhhh..."
"Rainbow, are you certain we're talking about—?"
"Oh look!" Rainbow pointed out the window and proceeded to fling the driver's side door open. "A squirrel!" She leapt out completely. "Zoop!"
"Aaaack!" Fluttershy hugged herself, shivering. "Rainbow Daaaash!" she yelped. "It's cold outside!"
"I know! It's friggin' awesome!"