Autumn in Ponyville: a time for harvesting, playing on leaves, and contracting the flu.
Woosh
It’s also a time for wind. A lot of wind.
Applejack held onto her hat as a powerful gust nearly took off the prized possession from her head for the fifth time that hour. It was a particularly windy day, not that she was surprised. The past few days had resulted in leaves and branches from nearby houses flooding the family orchard.
None of which amused Applejack.
“What in tarnation does mother nature have against a hard working, honest pony like myself?”
Not one bit.
Applejack had been raking leaves since day break. It was arduous work, something she was accustomed to.
“This dang body just ain’t cutout for this sort of work,” Applejack muttered to herself. “Confounded thing is meant for running and bucking trees!” She threw down her rake and wiped away a bead of sweat from her forehead. She looked around and smiled for the first time in the day. “Well, at least I’ve made some progress here. Guess this calls for a break.”
Applejack walked back to her house. “Still, that mother nature’s one load of horse apples,” she said to herself. “I’ve spent so dang long learning the way of this accursed body, and it never gets any easier!” Applejack let out a sigh and shook her head. “I need to stop talking to myself. It’s what got me in trouble last time.” Upon her arrival back, Applejack sat on a rocking chair on the porch and grabbed a nearby water bottle.
Woosh
Another powerful gust of wind struck, causing Applejack’s hat to once again nearly fly off of her head. She held onto it, dropping her water in the process. “Son of a female timber wolf with a side of rotten horse apples!” She looked down at her water once the wind died down. “Of all the bad things that can happen at a time like this, I have to go and lose my water in order to prevent the loss of my body.”
A chuckle came from behind Applejack. “Your body?” Big Mac asked from near the doorway with a smirk on his face.
Applejack turned around with a smile. “Ya know what they say, Big Mac: the hat makes the pony.”
“Whatever you say, sis.”
Applejack rolled her eyes. I swear, he has no taste in phrases.
Woosh!
And just like that, another gust of wind arrived. Applejack attempted to hold onto her hat, but it was no use. It flew off, getting carried away in the wind, alongside some leaves.
“Gosh darn it!” Applejack snapped. “Why I ought to-”
A green glow surrounded Applejack, before slowly floating off in the direction of her hat. She held her head for a moment. After a few moments of remaining as still as a statue, she finally spoke.
“I’m… free!” She bounced around happily, repeating the same sentence over and over. “I’m free!” Her celebration was short-lived however as a voice filled the air. One that caused her blood to run as cold as the arctic winds of the north.
“Excuse me, young lady?”
Applejack turned around to see Big Mac standing in the doorway, a look of fury on his face. She took a few steps back before turning tail and breaking out into a full-blown sprint. Behind her, she could hear the thunderous stomping of hooves gain ground on her.
Quickly.
The magic floated to Applejack’s hat and settled around it, startling a nearby hawk. A pair of emerald green eyes and a mouth formed on it.
“Confound it!” Applejack let out a sigh as it continued to float through the air. “I ought to give mother nature a piece of my mind!” it grumbled, indignant. “Taking away my worthless, but still beautiful body and gorgeous hair!? How dare she! I worked years to make sure that good fer nothin’ body would never leave my presence! And I worked my flank off to perfect an obnoxious accent!”
“I can tell,” the hawk asked. “Because you sound like you’re from the city, not the country.”
“Hey, I just got separated from my pony body! It’s a very distressing time for me.”
“Oh, I do apologize,” the hawk said. “My hatchling was just eaten by a timber wolf.”
“Big deal. I need to get back to Southern Belle before her—or rather my—friends find out I’m a parasite and she’s my eternal host!”
“My wife was eaten by the timber wolf’s friend.”
“If I get destroyed, I’ll be dead! I can’t let that happen! That means I can’t have beautiful legs, gorgeous eyes, and hair! Hair!”
“I knew I shouldn’t have eaten fermented apples…” The hawk rolled his eyes and flew off, leaving Applejack to itself.
A sigh escaped Applejack’s mouth. “Dagnabbit. Now I need to find a new body so I can get back to that accursed mare… wait, why didn’t I just take over that birds body? Ah phooey.”
A dark green glow surrounded the hat. It slowly floated down to Ponyville’s market. Okay, this shouldn’t be too hard. I just need somepony who can convincingly get close to Applejack, not be aware that they were under my influence, and can seem like they were possibly drunk or something once I leave their minds, and then all is back to normal. Applejack cursed under its breath. Pony feathers, I wish I hadn’t made it so I needed to be so far away for my damned influence to vanish. Curse the rules of parasitic magic and its need for a weakness with every spell! It’s total bull crap!
With the grace of a feather the size of a fully grown mare’s head in the wind, the hat floated to the ground in the middle of Ponyville’s market. Excellent. Stage one of Operation: Return to Southern Belle has been completed.
Applejack looked around at the ponies that populated the market place. There were some familiar faces, like Cheerilee, Lyra, and Derpy.
Hmm… the mailmare could get me there, but she has to deliver mail shortly, and I don’t trust her to arrive back at work in time, Applejack thought. No, no. I need a host who’s competent enough to find their way back and if they question what happened, nobody will believe them…
Applejack continued to scan the area until its eyes finally landed on a pony—a foal to be exact.
Ah-hah. That annoying little orange twerp Applebloom hangs out with. Perfect.
Applejack floated off the ground ever-so slightly, gaining enough speed from bypassers to float towards a nearby alleyway that Scootaloo would pass in due time. Once it arrived, Applejack snuck into it and hid behind a dumpster; patiently waiting for its ticket home.
“Hey, Scootaloo!” Applejack said in its best impression of its younger sibling once it spotted Scootaloo.
Scootaloo stopped her scooter and turned her head towards the forbidding alleyway. “Applebloom?”
“C’mere. I found something wicked.”
“Are… are you sure you should be in there?” Scootaloo asked hesitantly.
“Mah sis said ah could come here while she was out shopping,” Applejack replied, holding back a large amount of frustration at the filly’s hesitance.
“O-Okay.” Scootaloo nervously made her way into the alleyway. She looked around, an ever growing sensation of fear inside of her. “Applebl-”
Applejack quickly rose up from behind a dumpster and wrapped itself around Scootaloo’s head. It clamped part of itself down onto her mouth, muffling her attempted cries for help. “Shhhh… calm down, little filly,” it said as she began to gain control of Scootaloo’s body. Applejack dragged her behind the dumpster, its influence quickly overwhelming Scootaloo’s young mind. An immense amount of fear and confusion filled her as Applejack settled atop her head. Before Scootaloo knew it, her thoughts were quickly repressed to the recesses of her brain, and soon she was but a whisper in her own body. Then, she calmed down.
“Thanks, Scoots,” Applejack whispered to its host. “you’re a good sport.” She flared her wings and smiled. “So this is what it’s like to have wings?” She looked back at them and chuckled. “I prefer magic…”
Stepping out of the alleyway, Applejack got onto the scooter and waited. Once a large crowd of ponies passed by, it took off, blending in with it.
Holy crap, how in the world does anyone ride around on one of these? Applejack wondered. Stupid foals and their toys. I feel like I’m gonna break this thing before I ever get back home. It groaned and sped by a few shoppers; dodging others and narrowly avoiding colliding with a few fruit stands.
Screw it, I’m taking the high road. Applejack veered right and rode up a wooden board. It bounced along the top of a few roofs before landing in the ground, narrowly missing a few shoppers. “Sorry!” Applejack yelled back as it continued along, until it reached the end of the edge of the street, at which point it stopped for a breather.
“Holy crap,” Applejack said beneath its breath. Its wings were sore—far more sore than it could’ve ever anticipated. “That had no right to be as exhausting at it-”
“Scootaloo!”
Applejack’s eye twitched. Of every disruption… It turned around and put on its best smile. “Hey, Sweetie Belle!”
Sweetie Belle stopped in front of Applejack and looked perplexed. “Whatcha doing with Applejack’s hat?”
“Oh, uh, it must’ve gotten blown away in the wind,” Applejack said. “I… picked it up when I saw it.”
“I see,” Sweetie replied. “Well, that’s perfect. I was gonna ask if you’d like to come with me, so we can ask Applebloom if she’d like to come play. Maybe we can help a pony figure out what their cutie mark represents!”
Oh you can’t be serious you damn marshmallow looking thing. Applejack mentally swore up a hurricane before finally stopping.
“Uh, Scootaloo?”
Mostly because of Sweetie Belle.
“Huh?” Applejack shook its head. “Sorry, I was thinking about who we can help.”
“Oh, well, I was thinking about that Tempest Shadow girl who Twilight helped,” Sweetie Belle replied. “She might need our help.”
Scootaloo nodded. “Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.”
That’s a horrible idea. I’m royally screwed if this stupid unicorn gets anywhere near the farm. Applejack looked around before an idea sprang into its mind. Unless… I can get them to stay here and I find another host… yes! That’s perfect.
“Hey, before we go, can I show you a new trick I learned earlier?”
“Sure!” Sweetie Belle jumped around excitedly. “Go for it!”
Praise Celestia for the ignorance of foals.
Applejack raced to the edge of the market and spun around, tearing up a respectable amount of dirt in the process. Okay, let’s see. A few ponies by the stands. None are likely to look for a hat if it’s lost, and they should believe she had a concussion if she asks where I am. I’m a damn genius.
Applejack flapped its wings and took off racing down the path. Dirt and pebbles were torn up behind it as she sped past several shoppers, each of who jumped as it sailed by.
Okay, just gotta gotta get to that board over there, Applejack wondered as it flew by more shoppers, maneuvering by each one with ease.
WOOSH!
Applejack flew up a wooden board and into the air, and off Scootaloo’s head.
Score!
Crash!
It looked down to see Scootaloo fly across the pathway like a rag doll, coming to a halt after what seemed like an eternity. A pained cry filled the air, which slowly died off and became a groan.
Don’t worry kid, you’ll get over it, Applejack thought as it drifted in the air, occasionally pushing itself up higher with its magic. Hopefully.
The chaos behind Applejack grew louder as more and more ponies were drawn to the scene. Heh, I really outdid myself there. Pushing itself forward, it scanned the world below for a fitting target, but to avail. For every point that looked to be a great host there were a plethora of witnesses—or a stand that would have no worker at it.
That is, until Applejack floated by an open window, and spotted a pink blob of energy that was bouncing around wildly within the confines of its room.
Ah-hah! The cousin who can defy logic! Perfect! Applejack floated through the window. It made its way towards Pinkie and landed atop her head. Alright, now to just get into her…
A surge of insanity coursed through Applejack’s parasitic mind. Visions of candy clouds, oceans over sugar, trees of cake, and animals made from various foods that are just waiting to cause diabetes flashed in front of it.
Holy shit, it’s like cocaine and sugar had drunken sex and gave birth to a horse. Ever so slowly, Applejack floated up. Okay, just play it cool…
“Oooh!” Pinkie Pie grabbed Applejack and held it in front of her. “Applejack didn’t tell me she was making silly hats today! I should get this back to her!”
“Ah crap.” Applejack’s eyes nearly popped out of the hat as it realized what it did. So naturally, it said what any reasonable individual would say.
“Ah crap...”
Pinkie gasped. “And it can talk!? Why didn’t she tell me Twilight or Starlight would be there! This is so awesome!”
Zap
Pinkie fell to the ground unconscious. “I could never stand you,” Applejack said, only to let out a very audible groan as reality set in. “Great, now she’s going to tell everypony that I just knocked her out.” Applejack hovered over to the wall and slammed the edge of itself against the wall. “Why must I be cursed with being in a town with such gosh darn buffoons!?”
“Ooh, my head…” Pinkie moaned as she sat up.
“Oh, you’re up already?” Applejack asked as it stopped slamming the edge of itself into the wall. “I’m, uh, sorry. I accidentally saw a spider on your head and… my hoof slipped…”
I’m so screwed…
Pinkie turned around. “Oh, I’m not upset! I know that Starlight must’ve put a defense mechanism in you when she applied her spell. It’s what she did when she made Gummy his tuxedo for Nightmare Night!” She ran into another room and came back seconds later with her pet alligator in the outfit. “Watch!” She put pressure on Gummy’s stomach and was zapped with an electric current.
And passed out
I knew she was an airhead, but… dang. I’m surprised.
Applejack floated up, making absolutely sure that nopony was watching it make its escape. After roughly three minutes of being as stealthy as its hat-shape was capable of letting it, Applejack snuck out the window and floated off in whatever direction didn’t have Pinkie Pie.
I wish I had a liver I could destroy right about now. Applejack scanned the world below and pushed itself in a random direction. Useless! All of them—useless! None have even the slightest good reason to go to her! A sense of rage filled Applejack as its eyes shot around in all directions. I’d have a better chance of just flying there like I’m a pegasus!
Applejack shut its eyes and took a deep breath. No, I can’t think like this. My life depends on me not being too callous with my actions. I need to find a pony who none will believe. One whose life has been based on lies and deception. It lowered down slightly, continuing to look around like a hawk looking for a meal, until it spotted a target. A blue unicorn that was happily making its way along a pathway.
Trixie...
Applejack floated over to the pathway that leads towards Twilight’s castle, landing right behind a tree. It smirked and sunk behind it; clearing its non-existent throat. “Hey, Trixie!” it said, mimicking Starlight Glimmer’s voice. “Come here. I have a spell you might be interested in seeing.”
Applejack heard Trixie approach rather hastily. “What spell might Trixie be interested in seeing, Starlight?”
Applejack looked up at Trixie, who looked around, confused. “Starlight? What sort of trick are you playing on Trixie that requires you to not show yourself?”
Applejack floated up to Trixie’s eye level and smiled. “I was beneath you, silly,” it said, still mimicking Starlight’s voice. “Pretty cool, eh?”
Trixie jumped when she saw the hat. “Oh, dear Celestia,” she said. “What sort of spell is that?”
“It let me take on the form of something while maintaining all of my power!” Applejack said. “It’s kinda like shapeshifting, but… with some extra benefits.”
Trixie raised an eyebrow. “Elaborate?”
Applejack giggled. “Follow me, and I’ll show you.” It floated deeper into the woods before turning to Trixie. “I’d rather anypony not see us.”
Trixie blushed. “What are you getting at, Starlight?”
“Nothing that you’re probably thinking of,” Applejack replied. Though I imagine that you’re a master at it.
Trixie chuckled and followed Applejack into the woods. “So, what do you wish to show Trixie?” she asked excitedly.
Applejack floated above Trixie for a moment, admiring her blissful ignorance. It was… charming. She seemed genuinely excited to see what her friend wished to show her. After a bit, it finally took action, and lowered itself onto Trixie’s head. “Just hold still and I promise I won’t give ya brain damage, oh great and powerful one.”
A tear ran down Trixie’s face. Her head hurt—badly. She could feel herself lose control of her body. First her head. Then her legs, which stopped flailing around one-by-one. Her tail fell limp next. Before she knew it, she was but a little voice in the very back of Applejack’s mind.
“Ahh… feels nice be in a body again,” Applejack said as she adjusted to being a quadruped once more. “Now to get back home.”
Applejack left the woods and continued along the pathway that lead to its humble abode. The wind had all but died down now, a fact that left Applejack in a state of frustration.
I hate mother nature…
As Applejack continued along, repeating the sentence over and over in its host’s head, something caught its eyes. A light-pink unicorn.
Oh shit.
Applejack ducked into a nearby but, pressing down on itself, and looked out. Of all the ponies that can be outside in this kind of weather, it has to be the one whose friend I’m temporarily living in.
Applejack watched as Starlight Glimmer walked around, mingling with the locals, a sight which sent Applejack’s hosts blood boiling. Seriously!? You need to stop and chat? A storm of vile, hate-filled words filled the head of the parasites host. It resisted the urge to leap out and make a mad dash towards the farm, until a less reckless idea sprang to its mind.
Oh, this is gonna be funny to hear about later...
Cautiously, Applejack slithered out of the bush and repeatedly teleported ahead—never once stopping to take a break. Eventually, and with its body feeling like it’d just run a marathon with a hundred and five degree fever, Applejack arrived home. It walked up to the front door and finally opted to catch its breath. From behind the door, Applejack could hear its family talking.
“Ya think Applejack’s okay?” asked Applebloom.
“Eeyup,” replied Big Mac.
Applejack smiled and knocked on the door, which opened a few seconds later, revealing Applebloom, who let out a cry of joy. “Applejack!” she said before hugging her sister.
Applejack floated off Trixie’s head, causing her to look around dazed and confused.
“W-What? Where am I?” Trixie looked around and saw the hat floating.
“Uhh… boo,” Applejack said.
Trixie screamed and ran off.
“Now was that necessary?” Granny Smith asked.
“Yes.”
Granny shook her head. “Get in here. We managed to catch her before she could get away.”
“Yes, Granny,” Applejack said as she floated towards her grandmother, who lead her upstairs and into her bedroom. Inside it was a bound and gagged Southern Belle, whose eyes were red from crying. “How long did it take ya to get her?”
“Big Mac caught her when she was celebrating after you’d gotten blown off her head,” Granny replied. “Woo-wee, it was quite the sight. He rounded her up like an escaped hog. I haven’t seen anything like it in my time.”
“I reckon she’s been crying all this time?”
“Eeyup,” Big Mac answered. “Wailed like a banshee when I got her.”
“Heh. Y’all are the greatest family I could’ve ever asked for,” Applejack replied. “See y’all soon.”
Southern Belle let out a muffled scream as she saw her hat float towards her.
“Hey! It’s my favorite host!” Applejack said. “Just stay still and maybe I’ll tell ya all about my adventure to you.”
Southern Belle shook wildly as the hat descended onto her head. She looked pleadingly at the other three ponies who had once been her family members, hoping to free them from their eternal prisons, but to no avail. Her screams were quickly silenced as she lost control of her mouth. A stinging sensation filled her head as the parasites black tendrils wrapped around her brain. Her thoughts became incoherent and nonsensical. Adrenaline rushed through her veins, which was followed by anxiety. Her eyes shot around in all directions as she wrestled for control of her mind.
Shhh. Calm down, Southern. You know exactly how this will end. What’s the point in fighting?
Southern violently shook around in the hope that she’d break free of her bonds—or that she could somehow kill herself. By now, anything was better than going back into the prison she had come to know as her body.
“Should we help?” Applebloom asked. “Ah don’t need mah sister hurting her host and having the others ask her why she has a gash on her head because of that insufferable mutt that calls herself Southern Belle.”
“Applejack’s gonna be fine,” Big Mac replied, to which Granny nodded in agreement. “She’s just delaying the inevitable, just like the others did when we first arrived.”
Southern Belle’s limbs ceased all movement one-by-one. Within a few seconds, all she could move were her eyes. She looked pleadingly at her family members, hoping—begging—one last time that she’d get through to them.
She stared for several seconds until her eyes closed, and she was once again pushed into the back of her own head; a voice that would never be recognized or acknowledged by Applejack.
“Are you back in control, Applejack?” Granny Smith asked, a look of hope on her face.
Southern Belle was motionless for a moment, but eventually nodded in approval.
“You sure?” Applebloom replied.
“Mmph…”
Big Mac walked over and removed the gag. “Repeat?”
“Yes, ya nitwit, I’m fine. Back in control. Though I must say, I’m gonna miss having magic.”
The other three family members cheered and hugged Applejack. “I’m so glad to have ya back, sis!” Applebloom said. “Though… what’re ya gonna do about Trixie?”
Applejack chuckled. “Don’t worry about it,” she replied. “Nopony’s gonna believe her.” A grin formed on her face. “I did choose her for a reason after all.”