//------------------------------// // XXI - Dear Princess... // Story: A Beginner's Guide to Heroism // by LoyalLiar //------------------------------// XXI Dear Princess... Graargh and Angel followed me out of the dining room.  I shut the door with a hoof and immediately collapsed. A few dozen pounds of bear cub tackled me before I even had the chance to take a breath. “Why, Morty?  Why mean?  Why yell?” “Graargh, get off me.  I need to think.” “No.  Why?” “Graargh…” “Why Morty?” I grabbed Graargh around his waist and flung him off my chest.  “I screwed it up, okay?  I didn’t think before I opened my mouth.” Graargh whimpered at the way I’d snapped, and I drew in a regretful breath to my freshly uncompressed lungs.  “I don’t have long to fix this, Graargh.  But that’s what I’m going to do.  Somehow… Angel, you’re holding two spells worth of mana, right?” “Yes, Master Coil,” my golem replied. “Give me the mana back now.”  As the golem floated closer, I continued my thoughts aloud.  “I have to go find Clover.  I don’t know what we’re going to do after that…” I briefly entertained the realization that I had made myself an equina non grata in all three of the world’s pony nation-states.  But I only had an hour, and dealing with that issue could wait, so I stuffed it away. Angel’s gift of my stored mana, filled during our long boat ride, came in a rush of blue arcana, sparking through the air between his halos and my horn.  Once more, I had my spells… for all the good they would do me fixing my relationship with Gale. Whatever that relationship was actually supposed to be. I shook my head.  “Okay, Graargh and Angel, I want you two to gather up everything we got from the bears: furs, blankets, packs.  If you see anything laying around that’s hoof sized or smaller that has diamonds, emeralds, or amethysts, take that too.” “Begging your pardon, sir, but you want me to steal from this castle?” “There really many bridges left to burn, short of actually killing Cyclone.  Besides, we need them more than he does.  He can’t actually use them for anything except decoration, since he’s a pegasus.  You go scout some things out, but wait for Graargh to actually carry them.  Once you’ve got that, I want you find Graargh and meet me on the eastern battlements in one hour.  Now get moving.” Angel zipped off down the castle hallways. “Graargh, I have an extremely important job for you.  We need to eat.” “We just eat,” Graargh complained, rolling his eyes.  “And Gale more important!” “I know, but I’m handling her, okay?  I don’t mean eating now, I mean eating while we’re traveling.  The dragons live in a volcanic wasteland.  We can’t pick berries there.  So I need you to go get Blizzard.  Do you know which one she is?  The mare who’s almost my age?”  Graargh nodded.  “Get her away from her dad.” “Not want fire pony,” Graargh agreed.  “Scary.” “Says six hundred pounds of grizzly bear,” I muttered into my hoof, feigning a cough.  “Tell her we need three weeks worth of food for two ponies.  Can you do do that?” Graargh nodded. “I’m counting on you, Graargh.  Go on back in there, and be strong for me, okay?  Once you’ve done that, you’re going to go find Angel and help him carry things.  I’ll talk to you in just a little bit.” Graargh nodded and ventured once more into the disturbingly literal frying pan.  Standing alone in the hallway, though, I couldn’t help but feel that I was the pony being roasted. I lost almost twelve minutes waiting for Blizzard in the hallway, but it was the door finally cracking open again that came closest to killing me.  When Blizzard’s white hoof came into view instead of Cyclone’s blood red, I felt my heart restart its beating.  Graargh followed after her, and smiled up at me.  “Found!” “Yes, you did good, Graargh.  Now, Like I said, I want you to go find Angel and help him.  Can you do that?” Eagerly, the little bear cub dashed off again. “Alright, Graargh’s gone, Angel is occupied, they’re packing supplies, I have at least three quarters of an hour left… Right.”  I heard a disk in my neck pop as I swung my head up to focus on the pegasus before me.  “Blizzard, I need your help.” “I… think I’ve figured that out.  You, uh…” “Not yet,” I told her.  “We’ll talk while we’re walking.  Kitchens, or storerooms.  I need dried foods.  Fruits, nuts, hardtack; anything you can offer that will last a week or two.” “Oh, um…” “Please forgive me for being a little bit short, but I don’t have a lot of time here, Blizzard. I need you to focus on this.” “Right, sorry!  Uh, this way!”  And nervously, she started off down the hallways of Burning Hearth opposite where Graargh had gone.  “Where are you going?” “Dragon lands,” I told her.  “I need to… I’ve got business with Clover.” “Oh, right, you’re a wizard too.  I can get you a map to where she and Grandfather went.” “That would be fantastic, Blizzard, thank you.  Now… well, I guess there’s no gentle way to say this.  I need your help with Gale.” Blizzard hung her head, demonstrating an uncanny knowledge of the castle’s layout from a view of only the wooden boards beneath her hooves.  "You really hurt her, Morty." "I know that!”  I caught myself before exasperation and impatience boiled over into yet another faux pas.  “I need to know how to fix it." Clearly, I hadn’t concealed my irritation well enough; Blizzard’s potent empathy left her wilting away from me, ears folded down.  “I think you probably shouldn’t talk about her mom.  Especially not about… sleeping with her.” "Blizzard, you're not helping here.  I can actually hear myself when I talk.". Under my breath I added "I just usually don't process it until after I'm done speaking." My guide at least regained a bit of her composure at that admission.  “You should admit that to her.  I think she needs to hear that you weren’t thinking.” "Well, hold on..." No, I decided.  Time travel was not a solution to this problem.  As Wintershimmer used to say, one does not pick up a castle to smash a gnat. "What are you thinking?" Blizzard cocked her head. “It was a bad idea.  I can fix this without risking a time-travel paradox or getting caught in a stable loop.  I know I can.  I just don’t know how.” Blizzard didn't answer, at first.  In determined silence, she progressed, until a few minutes later, she stopped abruptly halfway down one of the castle’s featureless hallways and flung open a little door I would have assumed led to a broom closet.  “You said you knew who she was in Lübuck?  Was that true?” “That's the truth; I had figured out she was some kind of runaway illegitimate noble, but I hadn't guessed her family was that far up.” “She's not illegitimate,” Blizzard corrected, to my surprise.  “Gale is Queen Platinum’s only living foal.” “Oh…” There wasn't any point in swearing about how stupid I'd been; that moment had already long since past. “Why didn't you confront her about it then?  Why keep secret that you had found out?” “Well, at the time, I thought that was what she wanted.”  I nibbled gently on my cheek. “Why?” I shrugged “Because she didn't tell me to begin with, even once we were actually traveling together.  I thought she was worried I would treat her differently, so I just tried to treat her the same.” Blizzard shook her head.  “I think I can understand that guess.” “Was it something else?” I asked her bluntly. The question earned me a sigh.  “You don't have famous parents, do you, Morty?” I cocked my head, not quite following her logic.  “Well, no. But Wintershimmer was about as infamous as you can be.” “I don't know who that is.” Blizzard shrugged.  “But I doubt it's the same.  Take Tempest.  You know him a little bit, right?  What's he like?  How would you describe him?” “Well, I guess he's kind of lazy.  And a flirt.  And what does any of this have to do with fixing things with Gale?” “Because Tempest’s mom is the leader of the entire Equestrian military, to say nothing of the fact that he's actually around Grandfather.” “So he has great mentors?” Blizzard sighed again.  “That’s why this is hard to understand.  Nopony overshadows you, do they?  With Tempest and Gale, it's this constant… pressure.  Your entire life starts revolving around somepony else.  I guarantee you, ponies are expecting Tempest to replace Aunt Typhoon when she retires.  Ponies are expecting him to live up to Grandfather's legacy.” Living up to Commander Hurricane?  I almost scoffed aloud.  He'd have better luck replacing Celestia, with the way the Equestrians revered the former. But then, that was exactly what Blizzard meant. Bitterly, the mare added another thought under her breath. “At least ponies like Aunt Typhoon.” For a moment, I found it hard to swallow as I realized exactly where Blizzard’s understanding of Gale came from.  “Are ponies worried you'll be some sort of tyrant?” Blizzard briefly started, apparently surprised I had heard her.  It took a moment for her to settle her wings and reply.  “Either they're afraid of me personally or of Father.  When you offered me your hoof earlier… It's not as if I don't know what that sort of greeting is.  But you're the first pony who’s ever been that kind to me.  Most ponies are too afraid of Father to even talk to me, and I think the brave ones are just hoping to inherit River Rock when Father dies.” I noticed a slight frost building on Blizzard’s wingtips, still folded at her sides.  “They're twice my age; sometimes more than that.  But at least I'm not alone.” “Alone?” “I have six siblings, Morty.  Gale is an only foal.  And Queen Platinum has that disease…” “The Scourge of Kings…” It was a hereditary condition, the cost of the throne.  It had plagued the unicorn royal family for generations.  It often killed young… was Gale running out of time? “She doesn't want the throne?” I asked. “I have no idea what she actually wants, Morty.  Queen Platinum never let her come here and visit Father.”  I had to mentally remind myself that Her Majesty was well within reason, seeing as Cyclone had killed her father—and that only made Gale’s hug for Cyclone stranger, when I remembered that same pony was Gale’s grandfather. Blizzard felt no need to comment on that mess of a relationship, instead letting her wings slump as she spoke up.  “I just think I understand why you talking about her mother hurt her so much.  Do you think it was easy for her to run away from Everfree with so many eyes watching her?  I doubt it was easy to steal Grandfather’s sword.  She finally escaped, if only for a little while.  She thought she was away from all of that with you.  And you dragged her back.” I drew in a slow breath and nodded.  “I think I understand.” “I doubt that.  But if you at least sympathize, that might be enough.” “Blizzard,” I put a hoof on the mare’s shoulder. She looked up at me.  “How can I thank you?” She looked me square in the eyes, and I noticed the slightest wetness in her coat, just above her cheekbones. “Help me do what Gale did.  Help me get away.” Gale was standing on the ramparts of Burning Hearth, frost building in her mane.  Her ears perked when I opened the creaky wooden door, but she didn’t bother so much as turning to look at me. “Gale, I’m sorry.” “Go to Tartarus, Morty.” In all honesty, that was a better reply than I was expecting.  I walked out onto the wall, and flung my forehooves over the edge two crenellations away from her.  The slouch would have been much more comfortable if the wall wasn’t frigid stone. “Already here, Gale.” “Okay, maybe I wasn’t clear.  Go fuck yourself.” That was a little closer to my expectation.  “Gale, I’m sorry.” “Save your breath.” Being reasonable and apologetic was failing quickly, but I was too young, too determined, and honestly, too stupid to give up after just one try. “Do you want to run away again?” Gale turned to actually look at me, for a change.  At first, she was completely silent, but it wasn’t hard to see the anger in her eyes.  “What’s the point?” “Getting away from your mother?  From the expectations?” Her derisive snort was bitter and blunt.  “Even if I really thought running away was a good idea, which it isn’t, where the hell do you think we could go?” “We shook off the entire Crystal military and Tempest.” That got me a roll of the eyes.  “Sooner or later, they’d just send Luna.” “The goddess?”  I gave up on the thought of a head-on confrontation very quickly.  “Okay, I can fake our deaths.  It’s not that hard; we’d just need some roughly correctly-shaped corpses, and—” “You really don’t understand anything, do you, Morty?”  Gale brought a hoof to her face slowly and rubbed her brow.  “Just go away.  At least let me be.  Maybe, maybe I’ll be ready to put up with your shit tomorrow.” “I don’t have that long to wait.”  I scratched the back of my right ear with a hoof.  “Cyclone and I got into an argument and I threatened to… well, I believe my exact words were ‘snuff him like a candle’.  And now, if I don’t want to commit regicide in self-defense, I have to be out of River Rock in about fifteen minutes.” Gale blinked twice in shock.  “You threatened Cyclone’s life?” I nodded.  “Grabbed onto his soul and threatened to rip it out of him.” There was a distinct pause as Gale processed that.  “You know, for somepony who’s supposed to be smart, you’re a massive fucking idiot.” I shrugged.  “I probably deserve that.  In my defense, intellect isn’t the opposite of idiocy the way most ponies use the word.  Wisdom is.  And I never purported to—” “Can you just shut the fuck up for five seconds?” Gale interrupted, shouting.  A few seconds passed as she fought to regain her breath out of the icy air.  “Look… Morty, I’m just not ready to forgive you right now, I’m sorry.  Not in like five minutes.  But I’ll at least say...  What are you doing?” The quandary Gale was raising related to the glow building around my horn.  My vision grew fuzzy from my third spell in a day—even with a ‘refill’ of mana drawn from Angel, the focus was hard.  Nevertheless, I squeezed the spell out. Snowflakes slowed in their falls from the stormy sky.  Near the horizon, the frigid Volgallop turned from icy rapids to a foamy stream of as much molasses.  Even in the streets, Cyclone’s guards lost their stiff pace, slowing to barely more than a crawl. “Did you slow down time?!” I drew in a few desperate, panting breaths.  The air I flushed out of my lungs slowed to a crawl as it passed my lips.  Only when I found my second wind did I answer Gale.  “I’m not that good.  Time magic is… hard.  And dangerous.  This is an illusion.  Sort of.” “On the whole city?” “No, just on us.  Time is going just as fast as usual.  We’re just thinking faster, and seeing faster.  Insight, a few figments, and some magic to strengthen your body so that moving this fast won’t hurt you.  It’s… hard to keep up.” “That’s… Damn!”  Gale was silent for the longest time.  She just stared off at the snowflakes gently spinning in the air, hanging almost frozen in time.  I held my tongue, both from exhaustion at the spell and out of deference to her thoughts.  Finally, she spoke a single word.  “Why?” “You said you needed more time.” It took me another few slow breaths to realize I had Gale’s ear more than I had before.  At least, she hadn’t spited the comment.  “Gale, look, I like you.  Okay?  And maybe I sound like a foal, but I’m not talking about love.  Don’t get me wrong, you’re beautiful, even as dirty and scruffy as you’ve been on the road…  Sorry, that isn’t what I meant.”  I stopped for a moment to gather my words.  “Gale, I’ve never had a friend like you.  In the Union, I only had Wintershimmer, and I had no idea what I was missing out on.  And, in the end, I suppose what I actually care about is knowing that I haven’t completely ruined whatever friendship we had.  Even if we are about to say goodbye, it’s a terrible ending to our story if I have to walk away knowing I hurt you, and never being able to fix it.” “Our story?”  Gale shook her head.  “We’re not married, Morty.  We haven’t even gone at it.”  She shook her head, and a little hint of a grin showed up on her cheek.  “You know, if you hadn’t completely screwed the pooch with Cyclone, we might have had a chance.” I blinked twice.  “Wait, are you honestly—” “No.” she interrupted, and then rolled her eyes.  “I’m still not sure I’m not completely pissed at you right now.”  She opened her mouth to say something else, and then closed it and glared off at the horizon.  I waited a moment as her brow clenched and loosened, parsing a thought.  Instead, I got a protracted groan.  “Celestia, fuck, you make everything so damn hard, Morty.  You know that, don’t you?”  Before I could reply, she shook her head.  “What am I saying, you probably get off on it.” “I don’t—” “You absolutely do, Morty.  Don’t even try to deny it.”  She chuckled, and then caught herself, and rolled her eyes. “I knew you couldn’t stay mad at me—” When Gale punched me, I found myself lying flat on the stones of the castle wall.  The stars in my eyes settled quickly enough to find her once more staring off at the sky. I brushed myself off, stood up, and walked over to her side again.  “I’m sorry. I… Is this where I say ‘fuck’?” Gale growled.  “Don’t.  That’s not you.” “This wasn’t supposed to be about me.” “Well, big fucking surprise, somehow it is anyway.  You’re… I don’t know what  I think about you right now.  Some slow snowflakes aren’t going to give me enough time to forgive you.” “Then the best I can offer is ‘I’m sorry’.”  I turned to walk away, trembling with some intoxicating mixture of regret, sorrow, pain, and anger at myself. “Don’t go.” I stopped. Gale spoke to me with her other voice.  I finally put together in my mind what I had heard among the bears.  It wasn’t Gale’s voice, because it didn’t belong to some scrappy mare on a journey with a stolen sword.  It was a noble’s voice.  Princess Platinum the Third’s voice. It wasn’t spiteful as it had been before, but some part of it was hollow.  And some other part was desperate. “I have scarce few hours of freedom, left.  And in some sense, I owe you the time you gave me. My last spare moments of liberty.” I turned back. “Gale—” “Give me this, Morty.  I won’t know how I feel about you, or if I can forgive you, but… I don’t want you to leave just yet.” I moved to her side, slipping a foreleg over her shoulders.  “As you wish, Your…  Gale.” We just stood there.  We just stared.  The icy plains and the snowy streets had become my painting, but the warmth of her coat and the sounds of our breaths were of much more interest to me than a petty trick of world-changing magic. “What does it feel like, Morty?” “Hmm?” She used the voice again.  That haunting voice.  “The freedom.  Going where you will, doing what you will—” “That isn’t you,” I told her. Gale hung her head.  “I’m not sure I’m just the mare you knew, any more than I am that stiff-backed princess.”  Her voice crumbled to its gruffer, faster pace, allegro and scathing.  “Fuck, forget you, I don’t even know who I am.” I held her tighter.  “You answered your own question.” Gale craned her neck, looking up at me in confusion. “You talked about my ‘freedom’, like it’s about the places you can go.  And sure, traveling has been some of the best times of my life, even if it has nearly killed me.  But at the end of the day, freedom is about choosing who you are.  And your mom can’t take that away.  When you want to know who you are, look at the choices you make.  And maybe your friends.  You gave me my name, after all.” Gale nodded.  “That sounds like something Star Swirl would cough up.  Did the old stallion tell you that?” “No, I literally made it up on the spot.” We laughed, carefree, and our voices rang out over a world frozen and stopped. “It’s true, though, I think.  And Coil the Wise has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?” Gale slapped me across the face.  It stung worse in the cold, but I felt a bit better at least, seeing a hint of amusement on the edge of her lips when I found my vision again. I felt the spell tugging at me, and a bit of a glow built of its own accord on my horn.  The magic was dying.  Gale must have noticed; she took a step back to more cleanly look me in the eyes.  “Come back to Everfree with me, Morty.  We can figure things out there.” I shook my head.  “I can’t.  I’ve come all this way.  I need to at least talk to Clover.” “Star Swirl is in Everfree.  And I’m sure Diadem can teach you, if—” I held up a hoof.  “Gale, we will see each other again, somehow.  I mean, Everfree is basically the capital of the world at this point.  It’s not as if I’m going to stay with the dragons for twenty years or something similarly profoundly useless.” I let the last vestiges of magic wisp away from my horn.  The wind and the snow rose from the still, whipping my coat behind me. “This is goodbye, Gale.  For now.” Gale sighed, and then she nodded.  “Goodbye, Morty.  Don’t get yourself killed.  I’ll see you in Everfree.” I smiled like only an idiot teenager can.  She smiled back, infinitely more elegant and more sophisticated than I can even claim I am today. And then I turned to leave.  No kiss, no long last embrace.  Just the promise of a tomorrow.