//------------------------------// // Chapter 7 // Story: A Madman's Guide to Friendship // by TheArcher20 //------------------------------// Chapter 7; Party time The rest of the day went by quickly after Lyra had left, Twilight and Davey got into a debate about him meeting with the princess'. After a while, Davey had to give in to Twilight's demands. All that was left was to ready himself for a Pinkie Pie party. The next morning, the madman arose and found his food already waiting for him. Guessing it was probably just after nine he decided to fight the urge to vomit at the inedible delicacy. How they could call the sludge they served at the hospitals 'food' was what baffled Davey. The clock ticked by as shortly after twelve, a nurse came by with his lunch and informed him he must sign out after he's done. The madman just grunted in reply and the mare sighed and rolled her eyes before taking her leave. After finishing his 'meal', Davey got up and got himself ready to leave. Of course he had remembered as soon as he got up that his clothes had been left next to his bed. Getting ready quickly, he double checked to make sure everything was accounted for. And when there wasn't something accounted for, he would just blame Sean anyway so long as it had little importance. The madman decided to lazily prance over to the reception desk. This gained him a few stares from the hospital staff and current residents. Without even glancing upwards the receptionist handed him a clipboard and a pen and said "Sign here for release" "Uh, how did you-" "Just sign it and go." The receptionist said flatly. "Alright, sheesh. I was just trying to say somethi-" "Just sign it sir." the receptionist replied, looking up for a quick second to glare at him. Davey caved and instead of arguing with the receptionist, he just grumbled, went to sit down, and filled out the paperwork. After finishing the paperwork, the madman glanced upwards to meet the sight of Sean walking in. "Hey assistant." "Will you stop calling me that. I’m not your assistant again until we either get a new lab, or we get back and repair whats left of the old lab. And that isn't anytime soon I’d say." "Yeah, yeah, yeah.." Davey halfheartedly responded while waving his hand at Sean for emphasis. Before Sean could continue to argue with Davey, he had already gotten up and headed to the front desk to give the receptionist the paper. "Thank you. Happy to have your business. Please don't come again." Said the receptionist, taking the clipboard and giving Davey another glare. Ignoring it, he and the timid assistant left for Twilight's home. After a long while of walking, Davey noticed something was off. The streets were nearly empty. "So why's it such a ghost town today?" Davey asked absentmindedly. "You'll see." Both of them stopped at what Davey guessed to be the town library, it was dark, and appeared to be devoid of life. "I think it's closed assistant-" "Stop calling me that, and come on." Sean said with annoyed grunt as he pushed the door open slowly. Before the madman could protest, Sean shoved him in and with an 'oof', He found himself on the floor of the library. Getting up, he found that the door had been closed and he was now standing in pitch black. "Sean I’m gonna-" Davey started, but was cut off by blinding lights, the sound of a cannon going off, and a loud "Surprise!" coming from just about all directions. Davey fell backwards faster than Pinkie could ever manage. This lead to a quick result of cracks and him falling through the floor with an 'oof'. Gasps filled the room as Sean just stood there peering into the hole. He then decided to yell "You okay there, crazy?". This was answered by a groan and what Sean could only assume was a middle finger. After awhile of stumbling, Davey managed to get out of Twilight's basement, groaning and bumping into things all the while. Once they were sure the madman was fine, they decided to start the party. As the Music started, Davey felt a headache forming. He did not enjoy the type of music very much, and he attempted to drown it out with a drink from the snack table. After roughly five minutes of the madman avoiding and swerving out of other ponies' paths, he managed to finally make it over to the table of snacks. Upon arriving, the madman saw some sort of white ball on the table. He gave it a second glance, which led to further confusion. The white ball had a strange hat that resembled a military helmet with camouflage. He was dumbstruck at the thought that somepony would put a helmet on a white ball of fuzz. 'Wait......White ball of fuzz?.......oh shi-' That's how far his thought process went, as he suddenly realized what the ball of fuzz was. But by then it was too late as it was finally revealed to be a bunny whom promptly kicked the bowl of half full punch at Davey, covering him head to toe in the sweet nectar. Once this had occurred, the music came to an abrupt end with a scratching noise. Everyone stared at the two for at least three minutes. Davey just stood there glaring at the bunny, he pulled his sleeves up, all calm and collect like. He showed no hint of what his thoughts were as he turned to the far side of the table where some of the pastries were at. Once he got there he grabbed a cupcake, examined it thoroughly, and then turned around and smiled wickedly at the bunny. Quickly the rabbit turned and made a mad dash for the far table when Davey gladly chucked the cupcake at the white demon. Angel barely avoided the sugary doom the cupcake was ready to give him by dropping down to the floor, kicking a table to block him like a shield, or rather a makeshift fortification. Davey followed by making his own fortification with the other table as he grabbed all the pastries he could before avoiding Angel's pellets of sugar. The battle quickly escalated as sugary pastries and plastic cutlery was tossed from both sides, ponies everywhere made a mad dash for the door. This was a big mistake as they ended up blindly running into the fire and getting pelted by the sweet doom, causing them to either faint or feign death, leaving their tongues to loll out of their mouths comically. After Fluttershy and Twilight's many, many attempts to stop the two, they decided it was best to hide behind cover and hope for the best. Fluttershy was already in her ball-like shell when they made it to cover and Twilight had her eye twitching already. Soon a third table appeared on its side facing the two opponents and a third pink party warrior came from behind it screaming as she tossed cake at the two opponents. When the cakes hit their targets', all three had stopped, the lights dimmed and spotlight was on Spike as he waddled over the the center of the battlefield. He was wearing some sort of penguin suit and had a microphone. He paused in the center and turned making a jaw dropping announcer voice. "Tonight, we are going to witness the most anticipated match in the history of professional cake battles. From the sugary, demon of the world. Pastry fan's, arrrrrrrrrreeeee you reaaaaaaaadddddyyyy." Spike paused for dramatic effect. "Mares and Stallions, lllllllllllllllleeeeeeeeeeeettttttttttsssssss get ready to ruuuuuuuummmmmmmmbbbblllleeee!" A loud bell was heard and the opponents mercilessly tossed the delicious pastries at one another as the baby dragon stumbled back to his hiding spot. This continued for hours on end. None of the opposing sides let up, and soon the tables started to crack and bits of the tables started falling as holes opened up. The pink demon had far surpassed the other two fighters in skill of both precision and accuracy as both other opponents were covered in cake batter. To the shock and relief of all whom had witnessed this battle and who could not escape during Spike's announcement, the fight stopped. All three fighters had run out of ammo. Of course this was thanks to a loud smacking sound that came from a fourth table that was overturned during the battle. Behind this table lay a very happy and very bloated grey pegasi with bubbles as a cutie mark. She laid there with crumbs strewn about around her as she rubbed her belly and announced "That was some good muffins!" She then made an exasperated sigh as she made her way, wobbling towards the exit. Once they were sure that there was no risk of a prolonged battle using improvised ammo, all the ponies made a mad dash for the exit a second time, this one gave them much better results. Once the ponies had all left, Twilight and Fluttershy emerged from their hiding places. Fluttershy gave Angel a look that said 'You're dead meat when we get home.' And had Sean, Davey, and Angel following in step. As the door to the library shut, they heard Twilight's attempt at lecturing Pinkie Pie. "I am very disappointed in you both, Angel for instigating your fight, and Davey I'm mad at you for not being the bigger person and walking away." Fluttershy huffed this as she scolded them. Davey, being his crazy self, decided against his better judgment, to respond "Did you really think I would?" the madman sneered, thinking he had won. "No, but you will still be punished all the same." Having been defeated, the madman starts looking downtrodden and continues to trudge along behind the yellow butterball. Once they arrived back at the cottage, Fluttershy finished scolding the two and decided their punishment. The cake covered warriors were made to sleep outside for the night without supper. After much whining from the madman and begging from Angel, Fluttershy and Sean went inside and left the two alone. Davey decided to express his distaste for the results by muttering inaudibly, or so he thought. Angel smacked Davey for whatever he had said and the madman responded by most kindly and graciously giving the white nightmare the bird.