Starlight Glimmer wasn't exactly expecting a grand parade when she reentered the dining room with her breakfast, but she didn't anticipate being treated by the spawn of Tartarus, either.
Sparkling (for that was now her name, at least in the mind of her new mother) seemed to be doing all she could to avoid eye contact with the unicorn, even to the extent of staring at the numerous cracks in the wall.
Spike, on the other hoof, had trained his slit eyes directly onto Starlight's chewing figure, and it made the unicorn feel extremely uncomfortable indeed. Though he didn't say a word during his silent vigil, she could tell he was as cross with her as Twilight had been back in the kitchen earlier.
Overall, it made for a most uncomfortable dining experience, and Starlight desperately racked her brain to figure out how to break the ice without being simultaneously pierced by several hundred sharpened icicles.
"H-Hey, are those my Cinnamon Nut Crunchies you're eating there, Sparkling?!" Starlight thought she'd spotted an ideal opportunity for discussion, and pursued it with considerable vigour. "You know, I was just about to blame my bestie Trixie for stealing them, only to discover to my horror it's my very own daughter responsible for the daring heist! Wait 'til you meet Trixie, darling! She knows so many funny magic spells, like when she chains you up in a little transparent box, fills it full of water, then..."
Unfortunately, either Sparkling had no interest in her mother's personal life or maybe she just had a slight aversion to water, after the longest and most thorough scrub she'd ever had. Instead of taking any sort of notice in Starlight's story, she simply spun her chair around to turn her back on the unicorn. She didn't even bother with conveying the illusion that she was listening at all.
Starlight was a little irritated that her first attempt to extract a reaction from the pink filly hadn't gone down so well, but as she constantly had to remind herself, it would probably be a slow and arduous process in getting her daughter to open up, so she shouldn't be too disheartened at this early setback. So she tried again, this time with feeling.
"L-Listen, d-darling..." she attempted to sound as motherly as possible, while wiping the rapidly bleeding perspiration from her sweaty brow. "...What you have to understand is, I'm completely new to this whole 'mum' thing, so if I'm a bit too overbearing or ignorant at first, I have to apologise. I'm sure, if we both work together on this, we can find common ground somewhere along the line. If I make any mistakes you can tell me in confidence, and I'll do my best to listen and learn in all the areas I need to improve in. So, what do you say, Sparkling?"
"A good start would be giving her her old name back!" An unexpected and unwelcome introduction into the conversation came curtesy of Spike, who having heard everything said up until now, couldn't bite his forked tongue any longer. "How's about that for a decent 'first suggestion'?"
Starlight turned to the dragon in surprise, her widened eyes conveying how shocked she was at this random interruption. "S-Spike? Why did you just say that? I don't mean to be rude, but this is between me and my daughter. If she wants to tell me anything, I'm sure she can do it for herself..."
"Actually, me and Diamond were talking while you and Twilight were in the other room." Spike had no intention of butting out, and the rest of his reply told the unicorn why. "It turns out 'Diamond Tiara' was picked out by her father, not her mother. It was the one thing he got to choose during her upbringing, and you've just snatched it away. But even if it wasn't Spoiled who named her, it's still totally wrong to change her name without even asking her first! If Twilight started calling me 'Humdrum' for example, and we weren't in an imaginary comic book fantasy land, I'd want to know why! What possible reason could you have to do such a thing, and why go forward with it when quite clearly it upsets her so much?"
"H-Humdrum? C-Comic book fantasy land?! Spike, what on Equestria are you talking... oh, never mind." Starlight decided to be the 'mature' one here and stick to the issues, while grunting with annoyance at having to explain her motive yet again for this big decision. "Basically, as you are now fully aware, Sparkling comes from a very difficult background of neglect and abuse. Spoiled may be the main instigator behind her misery over the years, but I'm pretty sure Filthy didn't help out very much by putting his career above that of his family! Personally, I don't care which one of them named my daughter, taken from me under false pretences let me remind you, both had a part to play in raising her in the worst way possible! I'm just glad that she began changing her ways before I came on the scene, or else my job would've been even harder! The sooner I remove all trace of that wretched pair from her life and regain full custody, the better!"
Starlight's rant had been so impassioned and forceful, she'd plain forgotten that Sparkling was in the same room as she spoke, until the unicorn heard an audible wince coming from the chair where the filly sat, particularly during the parts where her beloved father was criticised.
Funnily enough though, Starlight didn't mind this too much. It might do Sparkling some actual good to hear some home truths about how awful both her parents really were, and when the situation was a bit less emotionally wrought, she was positive that her daughter would reach the same conclusion. All it would take was a few short weeks to get her to see sense, the unicorn was sure of it!
At this present moment in time though, Sparkling seemed distinctly unimpressed with the future scenario Starlight had just laid out, a school of thought Spike seemed to agree with. "Starlight... I ask you this as a concerned friend, so please don't get mad. What has gotten into you lately? You're not acting like yourself at all! In fact, what I've heard from you of late kind of reminds me of the old Starlight. You know, the one who'd never listen to reason, the one who always had to do things her way, the one who tried to control and manipulate other ponies lives... ring any bells? If they do, I hope they wake you up to yourself soon."
If it'd been Spike's intention to try to change Starlight's mind through super duper honesty, it didn't seem to have done much good. Perhaps his fatal mistake was bringing up the unicorn's past once more, something which, as Twilight had found out just a few minutes ago, was never a good idea in front of the now irate unicorn.
"Okay, you know what Spike? I think I've lost my appetite. These oats have gone soggy anyway, while I was listening to you rant at me for the 'terrible' crime of trying to be a good mother. I'll head off now to empty my bowl into the trash, so I can wash it in the sink. When I return, I'd like to have some private time outside with my daughter to explain the full reasoning behind my decision, so she doesn't get sidetracked by you or Twilight and your constant attempts to interfere with my parenting. I know I'm a complete amateur at this, but can you really say you could do any better? After all, it's not like you or Twilight have children yourselves. Don't you think I at least deserve a chance to show what I can do?"
"W-What? B-But I was only trying to..." Spike, far more used to being praised for his aptitude and attitude, was most aggrieved at the mere insinuation he was being more of a hindrance than a help.
"Unless that sentence ends in 'make Sparkling very confused', then I'm afraid we're going to have to agree to disagree." Starlight continued her disapproving tone, whilst shaking her head regretfully. "Furthermore, I'm a little taken aback with how difficult you and Twilight are making this for us. Perhaps, if you carry on trying to overstep your authority by telling me what to do for the next month, I may have to review how much input you have in Sparkling's life from now on. Anyway, I'll be back in a minute. Did you hear that, precious? I want to take a stroll with you, just a quick one, so we can sort all this out together. Make sure you're ready for when I come back, please!"
With that final instruction to Sparkling, spoken in a notably softer tone than the rest of her mini-statement, Starlight left the nonplussed filly and dragon alone for now while deep in thought. Oh, wait 'til she hears the itinerary of fun I'm going to set up for her! She'll have such a good time, a measly name change will be the last thing on her brain! Oh, I can't wait! We're going to bond like no mother and daughter have ever before!
Obviously Sparkling would thoroughly disagree with that viewpoint, and when the pleasantly humming mare had fully departed, it was the pink filly who whispered over the table to Spike, obviously afraid of being overheard.
"You told me that if I ignored her, she'd get the message and change her mind!" Sparkling growled at the flustered dragon, flicking a few droplets of milk at him for good measure.
"H-Hey, how was I supposed to know? That tactic always works with Twilight, especially when I want extra gem-encrusted ice cream." Spike flinched slightly, as he wiped his scales clean. "Look on the positive side, at least now you'll get the chance to tell Starlight directly how you feel, and maybe convince her that she's going a bit overboard with this whole 'mother' thing... okay, very overboard."
"That I will. And there's no 'maybe' about it, it's about time I put this cutie mark to good use once again by setting some ground rules." Sparkling said with determination, as she patted her patented flank symbol. "Seeing as giving her the silent treatment didn't work, I'm going to be as loud and proud as I can when I order her to refer to me as I was before this whole nightmare started. Along with 'coaxing' her to do a few other things too, like cutting out all the condescending language and unwanted physical contact. Let me just put my tiara on upstairs, and I'll be ready for her. Don't fret Spike, I promise to get this all sorted out before the end of the day. If I can handle Spoiled, Starlight should be foal's play. Well, see you later."
Sparkling was just about to leave an incredibly skeptical Spike behind and make her way up to her temporary bedroom, before she almost collided right into Twilight. The princess was too busy thinking about the intricacies of the complicated contract she'd just studied to properly concentrate on where she was going, and it was only through sheer luck the alicorn avoided tripping over the pink filly where she stood.
"Oh, sorry. S-Sorry." Twilight reversed back in course, as a surprised Sparkling froze up. "I didn't see you down there. N-Not that I'm saying you're short, at least for your age, your development height-wise is actually quite average for a filly, and..."
"It's okay, Twilight. I understand. I think both of us have a lot on our minds right now." Sparkling relaxed a little again, and raised her head to look the alicorn in the eye. "I can guess who the cause of our worries is, as well. But don't let it bother you too much. I'm about to go and have a little chat with 'mother', and straighten out a few things with her. It might start getting a bit ugly, so don't be shocked if you hear a bit of shouting coming from outside. I'll try to keep the bad language down to a minimum, though."
"U-Um, alright Sparkling, if you think that'll help." Twilight couldn't help but think about how hard Starlight would take this stubborn demeanour from her daughter, particularly after witnessing the older mare's pleasant mood in the kitchen a few moments ago while she did the washing-up. "But, are you sure you don't want me or Spike to supervise? If anything happens between the two of you, I'd hate to think how bad it might get if no-one is around to step in..."
"I'll be fine, Twilight. You might have heard this around town, but I can be just as unmovable and pushy as Starlight can, so don't underestimate me. I'll get her to listen to what I have to say, if it's the last thing I do." Sparkling spoke in an unyielding tone, before asking another request of the princess instead. " If it's all the same though, could you and Spike continue to call me by my proper birth name? Just because somepony living here has gone slightly insane, it doesn't mean that anypony else needs to be locked up. Plus, let me just say this: 'Sparkling Glimmer' must be the most stupid name given to a pony ever."
"Oh, I don't know about that..." Twilight pondered momentarily on the likes of 'Fizzle Pop Berry Twist'. It was all a matter of opinion, she supposed. "...But changing your name without your consent is a definite no-no from me."
"Does that mean you'll refer to me by my proper name?" Sparkling asked hopefully, her ears raised.
"E-Erm, sadly no." Twilight blushed profusely, wondering how she was going to articulate what she wanted to say. "Basically, this contract stipulates that as long as you live under this roof, Starlight is more-or-less your mother by law. As a Princess, I have no power in changing the names of all the fillies and colts given to them by their parents, as that would constitute an excessive use of the crown. Well, maybe if the name sounded obscene, but that hasn't happened for over fifty years, and even then it was a close run decision. 'Hot Stud' indeed."
"Well, thanks for nothing. I guess I'll have to sort all this out for myself. See you when I get back from 'family time'. Gee, I can't wait." Sparkling stormed off in a huff, leaping up the stairs two at a time before unceremoniously slamming her bedroom door behind in the most overdramatic way possible.
Faced with a petulant, unrelenting student...
And her equally headstrong, moody daughter...
It was all Twilight could do to collapse onto one of her crystal chairs, wishing with all her heart for something slightly less taxing than her current dilemma.
A solo rematch with Tirek maybe, without the combined power of the princesses this time around.
Or a nice, bracing Changeling invasion. Yeah, that would've done the trick, why did we ever have to reform them...
Twilight's exhausted daydreaming was abruptly cut short by Spike, giving her one of his trademark single-eyebrow-raised looks.
Having known him since he was a tiny wee hatchling, she knew exactly what was he was thinking.
She also had no intention of letting him say it.
"Oh, shaddup."