//------------------------------// // A Helping Claw // Story: Tending Twilight // by Hodgepodge //------------------------------// Twilight was in bed again, but this time she wasn’t enjoying her secret hobby. This time, she lay half under the rumpled covers, crying into her pillow, her face red and blotchy from sobbing and rubbing her eyes. Yesterday she’d been frantically searching for Applejack - avoiding the one place she was certain to find her, afraid of what her marefriend might have said. She whimpered and burrowed further down into her bedsheets, thinking of that again - she was afraid of Applejack. Of her revealing her secret… But then it had turned out she had a lot more to be afraid of, didn’t she? Applejack had come to see her that very morning, and her heart leapt. She’d been about to launch into apologies, explanations - when she saw AJ’s face… She’d KISSED Rainbow! Twilight still couldn’t believe it. Or rather, she could believe it all too well. Rainbow’s feats of athleticism were something she could never compete with, and maybe Applejack wasn’t happy with a nerdy, boring alicorn who cared more about facts and figures than sports and flying. Twilight sobbed again, clinging to her pillow. It was a poor replacement for the marefriend she’d rather cling to - but apparently, much more faithful. ---------------------------------------------------------- Rainbow Dash stayed in bed too, but instead of sobbing, she was still. Her face was smushed slightly against the fluffy cloud pillow, lending a curious bulge to the straight line of her mouth. She flicked her tail, staring straight ahead. “Some element of loyalty,” Dash muttered, glaring at nothing, since she couldn’t glare at herself. The empty room was completely quiet, offering no respite from the thoughts that nagged at her. Obviously she couldn’t show her face around Applejack anymore. Or Twilight. Or the whole of Ponyville. They’d all know what she’d done. And hate her for it. Without even a grunt, she turned onto her other side, wings twitching just a little as they came to rest in a new position. Bitterly, Rainbow wished she’d placed her bed against a wall, instead of in the middle of the room, where windows looked in. The midday sunlight streaming through them was an unwelcome warmth Dash didn’t feel she deserved - and there was nothing she wanted to look at right now, except the blank whiteness of a cloud wall. Blank like she wished her mind was - but maybe remembering what she’d done was just part of her punishment. ---------------------------- Applejack wasn’t in bed. She’d gotten up promptly in the morning, made Applebloom breakfast, and then gone out to the fields to work… Well, after she’d made a detour to break her marefriend’s heart in two. It hadn’t felt good… but AJ’s conscience wouldn’t let her keep it hidden a moment longer than necessary. Farm work couldn’t wait for a crisis. Almost every day was a working day. There was no time to sit around and focus on how awful you felt, and sometimes that was a mercy. Sometimes, though, like today, the strain of working just made the hurt feelings hurt worse. And the repetitive work just helped you dwell on things over and over. But you couldn’t stop. That was hard. Why, why had Rainbow let AJ kiss her? Why hadn’t she pulled away sooner? ...Why had she pulled away at all? Applejack glowered at herself, giving the next tree an extra-firm kick. After what she did, those thoughts weren’t helpful. She needed to focus on work, and fixing things with her marefriend. Dash could wait. If Twilight even was her marefriend still… Making a sour face, Applejack thought back to last night - only instead of wondering why Rainbow had allowed herself to be kissed, she questioned herself. Yeah, Rainbow was an attractive pony, and she’d certainly imagined it once or twice. But if she was honest with herself, she’d only felt the urge to kiss Dash that night because of what Twilight had told her. In that moment, Dash had seemed so much simpler… so much easier to understand. In the cold light of day, she was ashamed she’d thought that way - both about Dash, her friend, and about Twilight. This… baby… thing… it wasn’t something she liked to think about. But it was clear if she was gonna make it work with Twilight, she’d have to wrap her head around it. Even if she had to go to somepony else for help with that… ----------------------------------- The door creaked open. “Twilight?” Twilight sniffed and wiped her nose on the back of her hoof. “G-go away, Spike. I don’t want to see anybody right now.” The dragon rolled his eyes. “Okay, Twilight, I’m totally going to just walk out the door and leave the pony who’s practically my big sister sobbing into her pillow.” Twilight said nothing, and didn’t move, but she heard the door close as Spike walked into the room, and then a second later the sound of draconic claws on the stairs leading up to her bed. “So… what’s wrong?” Silence. Spike shifted uncomfortably. “...Is it about Applejack?” he asked in a lower voice. “I mean, she was here earlier, and it seemed like…” As Spike trailed off, Twilight turned her head to look at him, fixing him with a vulnerable, red-eyed gaze. “...It seemed like maybe she said something to upset you.” Twilight made a noise that sounded like a harsh laugh - but maybe there was a sob in there, too. “Uh huh,” she said in a voice that cracked with pain. Spike waited for her to go on, but she didn’t. “Did you two… break up, or something?” “O-or something,” Twilight muttered. “I… I don’t know Spike…” Taking a deep breath, Twilight slowly sat up, rubbing her wet eyes with a hoof. “One moment, e-everything was fine. And then she… She did something,” Twilight Sparkle swallowed hard. She didn’t want Spike to think badly of Applejack - or spread gossip. “...Something that hurt me. An-and now, I don’t know how she feels about me. If, if she even wants to be my marefriend…” “What?!” Spike frowned in confusion. “Why would Applejack ever do something to hurt you? And, if she’s the one who hurt YOU, shouldn’t you be the one who doesn’t want her around?” “Spike, I-” “Maybe, maybe she didn’t mean to do it?” “Oh no, she meant it,” Twilight said, surprisingly clearly, a touch of anger in her voice. “But why would she do something like that! Applejack’s a nice pony, Twilight…” “I know! I know she is! I… I drove her to it,” the Princess looked down in shame, her muzzle wrinkling. “What? How!” Spike could feel himself getting more and more confused. Adult relationships were always pretty weird - but today took the cake for weird. “It’s complicated, Spike! I did something she didn’t like.” “Something… mean? That hurt her feelings?” “No! Just something she thought was weird! Gross!” her face turned red. “Gross? I mean, Applejack’s not exactly Rarity, she hangs around Rainbow Dash all the time-” Twilight winced at the mention of Rainbow Dash, but Spike carried on. “She can handle a little grossness, I’m sure! What’d you do, fart in the bathtub?” “No! No no no! Please Spike, believe me, it’s just this really weird thing I do, and…. Just, just forget about it, okay? She … just doesn’t like me anymore, I guess…” “Weird thing you do…” Spike put a claw to his chin. “Weird- oh.” Twilight was busy smoothing out her rumpled blankets. She didn’t see Spike casting his eye over to where her secret stash was. To her bathroom… To the bedside table where she’d left a bottle just a couple of days ago. “Twilight, is this about your baby thing?” Twilight’s ears shot up in alarm… and then slid back in embarrassment. She kept her face turned away from Spike, hiding her shamed expression. “B-b-baby thing? Spike… I have no idea what you could possibly mean!” “Oh come on, Twilight. The diapers? The pacifiers? I’ve seen them… Is that what bothered Applejack?” Twilight’s blood went cold - but her heart was pounding more insistently than ever. She’d been so careful! … Hadn’t she? How did Spike know! What did he think of her! This was so, so embarrassing, she couldn’t believe it, how could she ever liv- “Twilight?” Spike’s voice brought her back to reality. “...How long have you known?” she whispered. “Uh… pretty much forever? Since before we moved to Ponyville, anyway.” “Bu, but how!” “Twilight, you’re not exactly a master of keeping things hidden. I mean, I sleep in a basket at the end of your bed… I kinda noticed when you were sleeping in diapers at night.” “Oh…” “And then there were the times you left your bottle out… Or you got those weird parcels delivered and wouldn’t let me look at them…” “Uh huh.” “And of course, sometimes I’d just walk in and you’d be passed out. Dressed up like a foal with a pacifier in your mouth.” “...Wh… what did you think, when you saw that?” Twilight asked quietly, still not looking to face him. “Honestly? Yeah, I thought it was weird. But I also thought you looked really peaceful. Like you were finally letting yourself relax for once. You always have this smile on your face when you do it… it makes you look… happier. Younger. Like you’re not worrying about anything,” Spike put a claw on Twilight’s back, and she looked back at him with a tiny, teary smile. “I was glad to see that.” Twilight hesitated a moment, before she turned around and threw her forelegs around Spike, hugging him tightly. “Oh Spike! Thank you so much! I always thought… I… You don’t think I’m weird?” “Oh no, it’s plenty weird,” Spike agreed, with a playful grin. “But so what! Ponies do weird stuff all the time. It seems to make you happy. And it’s kinda cute, too.” Twilight snorted, but she was smiling still. “Cute! Hah… Don’t get any ideas, mister,” she grinned as she pulled away. “I’m still your BIG sister, after all.” “Some big sister!” They both laughed for a moment. Twilight felt herself relax. Yes, things weren’t perfect… but right now, knowing somebody else really accepted her? That made her feel a lot better. Made her feel like less of a weird freak. Like maybe it wasn’t her fault Applejack had… Spike saw her swallow, and frowned. “I guess I was right, huh? Applejack wasn’t keen on your baby time?” “That’s putting it lightly Spike. She hated it. I could… I could tell. But I just kept pushing, and she… She left.” “Wow… I guess it would be a pretty big shock learning that about somepony you love,” Spike said thoughtfully. “I… I mean, I guess so. But I got the feeling she just. Couldn’t handle it. It was too gross for her.” “I don’t know about that,” Spike replied. “I mean, maybe, but Applejack’s a pretty tough pony. Maybe she’d just never heard or even thought about something like this before.” “...You think?” “Maybe,” Spike shrugged. “I don’t know. But, I think… if you think you came on too strong… maybe you should apologize next time? And explain why you like it and what it means… so she can understand, too!” Twilight bit her lip, considering this. “I… I guess that would make more sense, huh?” “Yep!” “You really think we can work it out?” “I don’t know what Applejack did… and I have a feeling I don’t wanna know, anyway. But I think if you’re both honest with each other and work hard, you can make it work. That’s what grownup relationships are like, all about, right?” “Right,” Twilight smiled again. She was glad Spike hadn’t left when she’d told him to. She still hurt inside… but now it felt like… maybe it wasn’t useless. Maybe she could work things out with Applejack. At the very least she felt confident they could still be good friends. “Thanks Spike. You really helped me out,” she sighed, laying back on the bed. “I guess I should start thinking about what to say to Applejack.” “Like, how to explain everything?” “Yep.” “Well, why don’t you try… explaining to me? I’ve always been curious. Why do you wear diapers and stuff like that?” A part of Twilight protested at talking about that, but another part protested that Spike already knew about her secret, and he wasn’t judging her. His questioning was innocent. He wasn’t waiting for her to say something that he could say she was weird for, he was genuinely curious. “Well it’s. It’s like a comfort thing, I guess?” Twilight started, scuffing a hoof on the floor. “I, um. It helps me feel… safe. Like, like nothing bad could happen, and I don’t have to be in charge of everything…” Spike’s eyes drifted to Twilight’s back, coming to rest on the powerful purple wings she’d sprouted months ago. “In charge of everything, huh?” he murmured, with a frown. “I guess that must be pretty hard. I mean, you’ve always had a lot of responsibility. I can’t imagine what it’s like trying to cope with that.” Twilight nodded sadly. “Is that it, then? It’s just, like, a way to cope with having to do so many things and having so many ponies look up to you?” “Well, sort of. I mean, I’ve definitely had to take on more responsibilities lately, so that’s certainly a factor. But, I guess it’s just… I never really got to be just a little filly, you know? I was always Celestia’s student… and before that I was studying so hard… I never had time to be a kid. And I was all too happy to let people see me as more mature than I really was.” “Right, yeah. I mean, when I was just hatched, you were practically like my Mom for a while there. And you were, what… ten?” “Nine. When you first hatched,” Twilight corrected him with a smile. “It was a lot of responsibility, but Princess Celestia felt I could handle it.” She was unable to keep the note of pride out of her voice, even when she was complaining about how much responsibility she felt she had to take on. “I just always felt like, there were two ‘me’s?” Twilight continued, unprompted, which Spike assumed was a good sign. “The good student and scholar everypony looked up to… And the baby filly who needed looking after. And that feeling only got bigger when… You know.” She gestured with a hoof to her wings. “It’s a lot harder to see yourself as a little unicorn filly when you’re, uh. No longer a unicorn.” Spike had to admit he didn’t really understand Twilight’s feelings. He was looking forward to the day he’d be a strong, powerful adult dragon - a brave knight who could sweep his lady Rarity off her feet. The idea of wishing you were smaller and weaker and people expected less of you was foreign to him. He couldn’t imagine wanting to go back to being a hatchling - so boring! “I don’t really get it, I guess,” Spike said with a shrug. “I get not wanting so much responsibility and wanting to get away from it… But the other stuff? I’ve never felt that way.” Twilight frowned. “Maybe it’s just something certain ponies feel? I know there are other ponies out there like me... I guess it’s hard to understand if you’ve never felt it.” “Yeah! … But I’m still glad you shared, Twilight. It makes me feel closer to you,” the dragon grinned and reached out a claw, putting it on Twi’s shoulders. “I’m really glad to hear that, Spike,” Twilight agreed, putting her hoof around him and hugging gently. She felt so glad to have friends like him. Family, really. “And I’m also really glad to have you in my life. It means a lot,” she told him as she pulled away. “Aw jeez Twilight,” Spike blushed with a bashful grin. “Don’t be so sappy! It’s embarrassing!” “Well, what are big sisters for, if not embarrassing their little brothers?” Twilight grinned and rubbed Spike’s spines with a hoof. “C’mon. I’ve been in this stuffy bedroom all day…” She hopped off of the bed, and began moving towards the stairs, but she was interrupted before she could reach it. “Wait!” Spike called out. He looked awkward, embarrassed. A little uncomfortable. “What is it?” Twilight asked, uncertainly. Maybe he really was creeped out by her… hobby? Maybe he wanted her to make sure she hid it better than she had done before... Whatever the issue, Spike seemed to be forcing himself to speak through the awkwardness, like what he wanted to say was important. “If this… If this is a comfort thing, and, and you’re upset about Applejack,” Spike swallowed, and Twilight’s ears lowered slightly. “Do you want to maybe… uh… baby out, for a bit?” ------------------------------------ The little bell that rang when you entered Carousel Boutique jingled its happy song, jangling Applejack’s nerves at the same time. But she’d come this far, and there was nopony else in the store. “Welcome to Carousel Boutique, darling!” Rarity called from behind some mannequin or other. “I’ll be right with you, although I must be honest and say we’re just about to close, so if this is anything other than a dire couture emergency, I would ask that you retur- Oh, Applejack! It’s you!” Rarity looked surprise momentarily, but she covered it with a smile - not the smile reserved for her customers, but the smile reserved for her friends unexpectedly stopping in during work hours. The smile that said ‘I’ll humor you, darling, but I am busy’. “Uh. Howdy, Rarity,” Applejack said with an awkward smile. “How’re you doin’?” “I’m doing just wonderfully, thank you, Applejack,” Rarity responded, with a raised eyebrow. “But I don’t believe you burst into my place of business just to ask that. What’s the matter, darling? Does Applebloom require a new dress for some school event? Your precious hat needs repairs?” “Uh, no,” Applejack looked down, and Rarity’s smile thinned slightly. “I mean… it ain’t about clothes Rarity. It’s about… relationships?” Rarity’s expression changed again - her smile turned to a worried frown, and the terseness left her voice. If Applejack was coming to her for relationship advice, things were indeed dire. “Let me just… close up the shop,” Rarity gave a wan smile and did just that, trotting over to the door and flipping the closed sign. After a moment’s thought, she locked the door. “Now. What is the trouble, dear Applejack? Is it… Twilight?” Applejack cringed, her ears laying back. She couldn’t lie, and the mere fact she was coming to Rarity about it… it didn’t take a genius to figure “Ah don’t wanna say who it’s about, okay, Rarity?” “But-” “Please, Rarity? I don’t… I don’t wanna betray any confidences.” “...Of course, darling. Go on.” Silence reigned for several long seconds, as Applejack gathered her thoughts. “Well… Ah hav’ this… friend. And she, uh, they, well…” Red cheeks glowed under Applejack’s ochre fur. Seeing Twilight doing that had been embarrassing enough on its own, telling somebody else was a whole new level. And what if Rarity thought it was something Applejack was involved in? Was she going to be disgusted with her? ‘Disgusted like you were with Twi’?” a little voice hissed in her head, and she shrank back a little further. ‘Dang. Maybe I understand a little now how Twilight felt tellin’ me.’ “...They what, Applejack?” “Huh?... Oh, uh. Sorry, Rarity, I lost my train o’ thought there. Anyway, I was, uh, just gonna ask. Have you ever known anypony who… liked to wear diapers?” “Diapers?” Rarity repeated, and Applejack wasn’t sure if she was shocked or just asking for clarification. “Uh, yes’m. Diapers. An’, an’ actin’ like a foal? In private-like?” Rarity’s stare continued for three, two, one seconds, and Applejack bit her lip, feeling pinned by two sapphire eyes. “...Yes, actually, Applejack, it happens I am aware of some people who enjoy that,” Rarity’s tone was even and cool, with none of the franticness present in Applejack’s own voice. “I happen to have made a number of custom outfits for o- for some of them, in this very town.” “Really?” Applejack’s face showed relief mixed with disbelief. More people than Twilight were into this? It seemed so weird… “Mmhmm. It’s actually not uncommon. It’s called being an ‘adult foal’, although the term ‘adult baby’ is also very popular because it has a less, hm, purely-pony focus. Apparently it’s quite popular in some griffin circles!” Rarity continued confidently. It was clear she had some amount of expertise here. “Now, in some cases it’s something of a fetish, but in others it’s more of a comfort thing. In either case nopony need have any worries about foalophilia. They are completely unrelated.” “Uh. Good, I guess?” Applejack wrinkled her nose. She’d thought Twi’s hobby was really weird, but she’d never once imagined she was a foal fiddler. Should she have done? Apparently not, according to Rarity. “Y’say it’s a...comfort thing, sometimes?” “Mm! Yes! For some ponies it’s just a way to feel safe, and small, and release the stresses of the day. Or some ponies went through some terrible things as a real foal, and now they want to have a ‘do-over’, so to speak,” Rarity smiled. “There are even ponies who had a childhood as one gender and would now like to experience the other side. Mostly stallions who want to be little fillies, but there are mares who want to be colts out there.” “Ah… Ah see... “ Applejack was glad of the information, but this was all a lot to take in. At least Rarity wasn’t dragging out adult diapers and calling her ‘Mommy’... that would be a bit much. A second time. “It’s especially common in ponies with high-ranking jobs, or who wield a lot of power or… responsibility,” Rarity paused, giving Applejack a meaningful glance before carrying on. “The majority of adult foals hold jobs and live life normally, other than their, ah, interests. They have normal, healthy relationships most of the time.” Applejack felt another wave of relief. She hadn’t given much thought to how concerned she’d been about that aspect, but now she realized that she’d judged Twilight too soon. She’d been worried Twi just saw her as a mother-figure, as dependable Applejack, and that her own feelings weren’t really important to the Princess. She’d been afraid Twilight would end up going further and further, leaving her duties behind - or crawling out of her crib just long enough to wave a royal sceptre, before demanding diaper changes and a new bottle from her beleaguered marefriend. “That’s… interestin’,” Applejack replied, with feigned indifference. She knew all too well that Rarity probably saw right through her, but neither pony acknowledged it. Applejack’s mind ticked away in thought. If that was all true, then maybe she’d been too harsh with Twilight? She’d moved too fast for her, sure. But if she could slow down, maybe they could work things out. In fact… “Rarity, ya say y’know some ponies who do this?” “Well, yes I know of… some ponies,” Rarity replied, strangely cagey after her earlier openness. “D’ya think I could maybe… meet one of ‘em?” “Hah! Applejack I’m not certain that’s a good idea, darling. It might be… overwhelming for you!” “B’lieve me, Rarity, it wouldn’t be more overwhelmin’ than… Well, ah don’t think I’d find it overwhelmin’, an’ that’s all I’m saying.” “Well… still! It might not be appropriate! It, it might be a breach of, client confidentiality… They might not agree, darling! This is a very personal matter!” “Then, ask ‘em? Could you, Rarity, f’r me?” “I… I don’t know…” “Please? I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t think it was important…” “Ohh, Applejack!” Rarity sighed in frustration. The worst part was she knew Applejack was being totally honest with her. For whatever reason (and Rarity could guess the reason now, quite easily - while a few moments ago she’d been unsure which of the two enjoyed playing the little filly, now it was clear Applejack was trying to learn for her marefriend’s sake. Very sweet of her.) Applejack was desperate to meet her adult foal client, whatever complications there might be. “I’ll tell you what I will do, Applejack. I will make no promises, first of all! But if you were to come by here at around… 8pm, tomorrow evening… I could ask my clients if they’d be interested in speaking with you,” Rarity offered. “Thanks, Rarity,” Applejack smiled a weary smile as she took off her hat in gratitude. “Ah really hope I can… understand this. I hope things won’t be too awkward for ya, Rares.” “Oh, no. Not for me, darling, aha… Anyway. I must be getting back to work, I hope it isn’t impolite to ask if you’re finished with this line of questioning for now?” “Nope. I think ah got it,” AJ set her hat firmly back on her head. “See ya tomorrow, Rarity.” “Ta-ta!” Rarity waved to Applejack as she left the store, a forced smile on her face. “Oh, Applejack,” she said softly once the earth pony was out of earshot. “I only hope you’re as open-minded tomorrow as you seemed to be today...” ------------ “I don’t know if this is such a good idea, Spike.” A purple glow enveloped a folded adult diaper, as Twilight laid back on the bed awkwardly, her tail between her legs shyly. “Aw, c’mon, Twilight. You agreed it would probably help you feel better, right?” Spike asked, raising an eyebrow. “It’s not that weird. I’ve seen ponies do weirder things!” “Oh really, Spike? Name some!” “Uh, well. Just about everything Pinkie Pie does?” Twilight fell silent, before agreeing. “Good point, but this isn’t really the same kind of ‘weird’.” As she spoke she unfolded the diaper with her magic, teething at her lip anxiously. “Ehh, it’s all the same to me,” Spike remarked with a claw wave. “Besides, I want to see you happy, Twilight. You looked after me all the time when I was little - for pony’s sake, you still do! Let me return the favor for once.” “...Fine,” Twilight grumbled, but she had to admit, she was excited about sharing this with somepony for real. She never thought Spike would see her like this, and it was scary - but it also made her feel good. She hoped Spike could love the foal inside her, not just the big sister. “Could you turn around for a moment?” Twi asked, gesturing with her hoof. “While I, uh, take care of this?” Spike rolled his eyes but obliged, turning around. “Ponies don’t wear clothes, Twilight!” “It’s the principle, Spike!” Twi shot back, her voice rising a little over the sound of tapes being done up tightly. Looking down at her landing zone, she could see it was less even than she’d like… But it would do. She was wearing a diaper. “Okay. It’s done,” she said shyly, and Spike turned slowly back to see her. “Aww!” he giggled. “That’s… actually really cute, Twilight.” “Stop! It is not,” she protested, but there was no force behind it. To be honest, it had felt nice to hear… “So… what do you do when you… do this?” “Um, act like… a foal, I guess?” “But, like… how?” Spike insisted, frowning. It was obvious he wanted some direct action to take, but Twilight wasn’t sure if she could bring herself to say, out loud, all the things she liked to do in fillyspace. Not to Spike, anyway. “W-well… there’s a bottle in that drawer,” Twilight finally replied, hesitantly. “I sometimes drink warm milk out of it.” “Okay, got it! Warm milk coming up!” Spike had opened the drawer while she was talking, and grabbed the bottle - he was halfway down the stairs before Twilight realised what was happening. “Spike, wait! I, I can do it myself!” “Pfft, nah,” Spike happily hopped off the bottom of the stairs. “I don’t think so. You’re just a little filly, remember? It wouldn’t be safe.” He winked at her, before he dashed out of the room. Now alone in her room, Twilight could feel her face burning. Somebody taking care of her, insisting she was too little to do things for herself… That hit buttons for her, buttons that wrapped embarrassment in soft cotton and made it warm and inviting and okay to feel. Still, Twi felt too nervous to really get into her role. She rubbed a hoof absent-mindedly along one of the cuffs of the diaper, making sure the seal was good. Sighing happily, she patted the poofy pillow between her legs, stretching them out and then pulling them back after a moment, enjoying how the plastic rustled without her even touching it directly. The door flew open, and Twilight eeped softly, instinctively covering herself with her hooves and wings as she looked down over the side of her bed. “Spike! You scared me! I… thought you might be somepony else.” “Sorry, Twi,” Spike said apologetically as he clambered the stairs with ease. “I wasn’t really thinking.” He hopped onto her bedpost, holding the bottle in one hand. As Twilight lay in bed, looking up at Spike, she felt small - it was a strange feeling, since he was so much shorter than her, but from this angle, it felt like she was the tiny one. “I’m pretty sure I saw Mr. Cake do this once,” Spike murmured, splashing milk on his elbow to test the temperature. “Hmm… seems right to me!” Spike walked across the bed towards Twilight quickly, smiling. “Open up, li’l sis!” He pointed the nipple of the bottle at Twilight, and she turned her chin upwards slightly, blushing. It was obvious what Spike intended, but that seemed like… too much, too far. “Spike, I thi-” Suddenly, Twilight found her mouth full of rubber, and then hot, sweet milk, instead of words. For a moment she just felt her eyes go wide, liquid flowing into her muzzle. And then she had to swallow, or choke. And then again, and again, until she realized she was suckling the bottle like an eager newborn foal. Her ears flattened against her skull and she felt her face might turn permanently red - but she didn’t want to stop, at the same time. “Thaaaat’s right,” Spike cooed, smiling proudly. “No more grown-up thinking. Just focus on drinking this nice warm bottle like the good baby filly you are.” Twilight nodded just slightly, feeling the mire of fillyspace pulling her in. Dimly, she was surprised about it - but of course, Spike had surprised her already. How could she resist in this situation? She’d had dreams about somepony bottle-feeding her… but now it was happening for real. “Aww, somepony’s hungry!” Spike commented. He was laying beside her now, holding the bottle with one hand. The other stroked her mane carefully. This was weird, but it made him feel important. He knew Twilight was happy, but he could tell it was more than just ‘happy’. He didn’t have the words for it exactly but it was true what she said, it was like there were two Twilights -  a foal and a grown mare. Spike resolved then and there, to do everything he could to make the foal part of Twilight feel just as loved and special as the grown-up part. It was the least he could do. The bottle was nearly empty now. Spike was right, Twilight had been really hungry - she hadn’t eaten all day. She knew she’d have to get up later and have some real food, but right now thinking of herself as a little foal who got all her nutrients from a bottle of milk brought a happy glow to her cheeks. “All gone,” Spike murmured as he pulled the nipple from her lips. “Oh, wait, one more thing.” “Bluh?” Twilight felt Spike straining to sit her up, and used her own muscles to help him without even thinking. A purple claw tapped her back firmly, and then. “-Urp!” “Alright! I did it!” Spike grinned, while Twilight covered her mouth with a hoof. “Uh huh,” Twilight said softly, reaching out for Spike unconsciously. “Fan- um, thank you, Spike. Really.” “It’s no big deal, Twilight. Hey, maybe if I get better at looking after babies, Rarity will notice me!” he grinned and flexed. “Mares are really into guys who’re good with kids!” Twilight chuckled. “Maybe!” “Alright, so what’s next?” “Next? Um, well, I… usually I like to read?” Twilight smiled sheepishly - maybe that wasn’t a very ‘babyish’ activity, but it felt right for her. “Huh. Well, okay, what do you usually read?” Twilight reached out with her magic, and the thick book on foalhood development rose slowly into view. “Whoa! Twilight, that’s… not really a kids’ book,” Spike eyed the volume skeptically. Twi pouted. “It’s… interesting.” “Maybe we can read something else,” Spike suggested, as Twilight lowered the book once more. “Do you think you could reach something from the children’s section from here?” “I, I think so, maybe?” Twilight closed her eyes, focusing her magic. She pictured the library in her mind… Children’s books were over there… She could pick one at random, but she knew the layout well enough to know where the yearling fiction was, the long novels, the picture books… Her magic grasped a book, and she focused a little harder for a moment… “Alright! Here we go!” Twilight opened her eyes to see that the book she’d chosen was on her bed. It took her a moment to read the title, because Spike was reading it, meaning it was upside down to her. “The Greedy Little Griffon… Good choice!” Spike grinned and then snuggled up against her, opening the book. “D’ya want me to read it to you?” “...Yes please,” Twilight admitted. She usually read to herself, but she couldn’t deny she’d fantasized about some other pony reading to her. Just the other day, in fact. But now it was really real, and Twilight tried to stop her brain working so hard to let herself just enjoy it. “Okay… so. Once upon a time, there was a greedy, grabby, griffon…” Spike began, and Twilight found herself wriggling down, closer to him. Almost unbidden her hoof snuggled around Spike’s waist - but he didn’t miss a beat, continuing to read as Twilight sighed deeply and happily. She felt like she was drifting away on a cloud of words, floating without even having to beat her wings. No… floating was the wrong word. She felt grounded. Safe and loved and small. Like she wanted. It was her worries, her adult concerns that felt distant, they were the ones floating away. “Mmmmmmmm,” she murmured happily, listening to the story eagerly. “And the greedy, grabby griffon found she’d lost all her scones! So she…” Twilight flicked an ear… most of her was listening to the story. But a familiar pressure was building between her legs… She squirmed uncomfortably… How long could this book be, anyway? “...and every other griffon could see that she’d taken all of the scones from Grenda Griffon, so they…” Apparently longer than she thought. Twilight tried to hide her discomfort, but what had started as a small urge was rapidly growing. As she squirmed distractedly she briefly wondered if her body had adapted to wetting whenever she wore a diaper - that might explain why the need to go was so intense right now even though it had only been a few minutes… Asking to go might break the spell, though. It would be one thing to hop up and go to the toilet after the story was over, but what if Spike was offended if she left now? They’d never laid out expectations with using the diaper either… he might assume she wasn’t really getting into it if she left. But she was also fairly sure that she couldn’t make herself go in front of Spike, and what if he thought it was a weird thing to do, anyway? He might not even realise she actually USED the diapers. A bead of sweat ran down her head. How long had Spike been reading? Gritting her teeth, she glanced at the book. It didn’t seem like there were that many pages left. Maybe she could hold it until the end? Her hooves kicked uncomfortably. How much trouble could this darn griffon get into?! Hurry UP, Spike! “...she flew so far, that… that,” Spike slowly came to a stop in the story, giving Twilight a puzzled look. Twilight suddenly realized she was rocking the bed slightly with her squirming around. “Uh…. you okay, Twi?” “Mmhmm!” Twilight said, with a forced grin that quickly turned into grinding teeth. “I uh, just, well, to be honest… I could really use the bathroom.” “Uh, you’re wearing a diaper?” Spike said with a bemused expression. “But Spike! I’ve never… used one in front of somepony before,” Twilight fluffed her wings self-consciously. “Pfft, well I’m not going to watch you, Twi. Just do whatever you’ve gotta do,” he grinned and looked back at the book. “Your number one assistant is busy reading.” Twilight made a squeak that would have sounded more appropriate coming out of Fluttershy, but Spike pretended not to notice. “Ahem! ...And she flew so far, and so fast, that all the other griffons…” Twilight shifted her rear slightly… It was usually easy to wet, but right now, with Spike in the room and aware, it felt impossible. She knew he was reading - she could hear his voice droning softly in her ear - but she felt eyes on her anyway. She sucked in a deep breath, trying to stop obsessing over it… What would she do if Spike wasn’t here? … As subtly as possible, she rolled onto her back. She flicked her tail and spread her hooves, just slightly… Her body responded to the familiar position, with a wave of pressure that slowly ebbed away, but didn’t leave completely. Spike’s scales against her side made it impossible to forget somebody else was there, and she almost thought she wouldn’t be able to let go. But then, the urge rose again and impulsively, she pushed a little harder. “Ah!” she exclaimed, quietly. Spike’s eyes flickered away from the page for a moment, but then he continued reading, which Twi was thankful for. Slowly, the diaper grew wetter and wetter. Twilight realised she’d been holding it for a long time, her whole rear was sodden in a matter of seconds. She worried the diaper wouldn’t hold, but it felt so nice to just completely relax that she didn’t care… Finally, she finished wetting and sighed happily, nuzzling against Spike. She could feel wetness around the legband on one side, but there didn’t seem to be any leaks… and everything felt so nice and peaceful right now, she didn’t know if she’d have cared even if she did notice them. Snuggled against one of her closest friends, in a wet diaper, she let her hoof drift up to her mouth, suckling it cutely like she were a real foal. Applejack might have rejected her, but Spike was right: she did feel a whole lot better now.