//------------------------------// // Behind the Shelter of Hate (part 3) // Story: The Truth About Girls (Vol. 2) // by TheMareWhoSaysNi //------------------------------// The advantage of having parents who owned a dealership of vintage luxury vehicles, it was the possibility to borrow some of the jewels for a pittance. Soarin liked this advantage a lot, and additionally of his black Ford coupé, he had asked his father to lend him a motorcycle. When she had climbed with him after the Wondercolts’ game and he had asked her whether she’d like to go for a ride, Rainbow Dash had begged him to take her away… the farthest he could. It was mid-week and they both had school tomorrow but he felt his girlfriend needed to relax. So, he had dashed in the direction of the freeway, not really paying attention to the destination. Her arms wrapped tight around his waist, her head leaning against his back, little by little along the way, she had started to release her tension. Instead of a dinner in an Italian restaurant he had planned – she particularly worshipped macaroni and cheese – they had stopped in a small bar along the road, filled up with truck drivers and bushwhackers. Their meal had been two avocado, spinach and tofu club sandwiches with a stein of beer, but it didn’t really matter to Soarin in reality, as long as she looked satisfied of her night. Instead of asking her questions about what was tormenting her, he’d tried to amuse her with anecdote of his game and they had a darts game that finally had her completely smiling in the end. When he’d offered to bring her home, Rainbow Dash had let him know she’d rather sleep at his place. The young man hadn’t needed to be asked twice and had dashed through the night. Midnight was around the corner when they reached the parking lot. It had been a few miles now that Soarin had noticed his girlfriend grip around his waist had loosened up… His intuition was confirmed when he turned off the engine of the motorbike. Through the opened visor of her helmet, Rainbow Dash’s eyes were closed. As softly as he could, he shook her shoulders. The young woman’s eyelashes fluttered a few seconds and she looked around absent-mindedly, as if she’d forgotten where she was before. “Are we home yet?” she asked with an even huskier voice then usually, while taking off her helmet. “Yes.” “Sorry I fell asleep… I really had a bad day! Well… I mean, until I was with you.” “Yes, I’ve understood it this way”, Soarin answered with a sweet smile. He reached out his hand and flattened strands on top of her head, that had erected because of static electricity. His always understanding attitude towards her, Rainbow Dash wasn’t sure she deserved it. What she was certain of, on the other hand, was that she was very lucky to have him in her life. He didn’t need to do extraordinary things in order to soothe the pains of her soul. A smile, a meaningless affectionate gesture, and she had this sensation that nothing was wrong with the world. All she desired now was to be in his apartment, sheltered in his arms. She would tell him what tormented her, and he would listen, comforting her by trying to put things into perspective, like he always did. And to think that, sometimes, he could be incredibly clumsy… Because in moments she needed it the most, he could also have so much wisdom she still could hardly believe it came from him. Her childhood best friend, with who she used to watch all the movies which her father forbade her to see, on the old VCR they had back in their former basement. With who she used to play basketball at the backyard, but also hide and seek, bicycle races all around the neighborhood, among many others, who she used to take defense of at school, when the others boys made fun of his sensitivity… “Do you remember when we secretly watched “The Gremlins” over and over again? We used to love the character of Marla and I don’t even know why!” “Yes, I remember very well. Each time, we were like “Ah, here comes Marla!”, so happy to see her.” “She doesn’t even do anything special in the movie, except smoking and speaking a lot.” They both laughed softly. It was not so far from them, and yet it sounded so foreign… The amusing thing about all this was that although things had changed in their relationship, it also was still the same in many ways. What was different were the gestures in particular and what those gestures meant for each other… Although when she thought about it deeper, Rainbow Dash knew, inside her heart, that even back then she was in love with him. But she had never believed it was more than a deep sense of friendship until she saw him again years later, and her heart finally understood. Unable to control it, she hid a yawn and Soarin knew it was about time to get home. The young man searched through his gym bag and took out a set of keys he threw into Rainbow Dash’s hands. “Just climb and warm up the blankets. I’ll meet you as soon as I’ve parked the motorcycle at the rightful spot.” “Are you sure? I’m not agonizing yet!” “I am. Go ahead. I’ll be quick, I promise.” “Alright.” After a smile, she got away, not without taking one last glimpse beyond her shoulders, while he was putting his helmet back on in order to park the precious vintage motorcycle in a safe place. The neighborhood wasn’t dangerous, but one was never too cautious. Such a machine was quite expensive and he didn’t own it. If someone stole it, it would be Soarin’s father who would be in a delicate position towards the insurance. It wasn’t a long way to go to reach the door of the building yet the place wasn’t illuminated enough. In fact, one of the rare lampposts around seemed to have given up the ghost. Rainbow Dash hurried. In her mind, started to grow a little idea… She was going to light the scented candles Spitfire and Fleetfoot offered Soarin for his birthday, arguing that his apartment smelled too much like motor oil (it didn’t bother Rainbow Dash). She was going to get the attars and they could massage each other for ten minutes before going to sleep. If some persons she knew, if not her very close friends, knew her fond of this kind of exchanges, undoubtedly her dear reputation would end up in a bad state, but she trusted Soarin that what they were doing when they were alone would remain a secret. The others didn’t have to know that the girl called ‘Killer Dash’ liked massages lit by candles and skin to skin soft embraces. As she was about to open the door, a sound behind her caught her attention. However, when she turned around to take a look, she saw nobody. In reality, she couldn’t see clearly even when blinking. It probably only was a trick from her imagination, but just in case, she quickly put the key inside its lock. She barely had done this that she felt a presence behind her and the cold of metal against her throat. Someone was here, arms wrapped around her shoulders, and the blade of a knife almost on her neck. Suddenly, a white dread blocked her whole body from inside and she was shaken by cold. Her heart was about to explode. It felt as if she wasn’t in front of this door anymore, but years before, pinned against the floor of her room at Green Haven, her roommate leaning above her. She even could feel the throbbing pain in her thigh and shoulder, and blood dripping along her limbs. “Is that you, Night Angel?” It was impossible. Why would Night Angel be here after all this time? They both never liked each other but there was no reason for the former psychiatric institute resident to come and finish what she had started. “Who’s that?” the voice (female) behind her said, puzzled. A voice which was much too soft for the violence of such an action. As soon as Rainbow Dash recognized this voice, her eyes opened wide. No… This also was impossible. Or was it? Another voice, Soarin’s, screaming behind her, along with the sound of his fast steps against the asphalt, finally sent her back to present completely. Rainbow Dash made the most of her attacker’s surprise to grab her arm and catch the switchblade off her hands. It was a rather dangerous handling, and she was lucky Soarin was here to help, or she would probably had hurt herself anyway. Once her assailant was overpowered, she took off the balaclava which covered her face and discovered, just like expected, Muffin, her face distorted by fear and regrets, as if she had just realized what she could have done. “Muffin! What’s wrong with you? You’ve tried to…” Rainbow Dash pressed her hand against her throat. “I don’t understand what have I done to you!” “Nothing at all”, she burst into tears. “You did nothing at all, it’s… I don’t know why I’ve done this. I’m so lost, I can’t take it anymore. I only want it to stop!” ------------------------------------------------------ Soarin gave Muffin a cup of hot coffee, and she thanked him with a quick smile, still hesitant to look into his eyes. It was hard to face them now she fully realized what the consequences of her actions could have been. It hadn’t been planned. After the washroom attack, and after Rainbow Dash had tried to understand what had happened to her, she had roamed the streets aimlessly for hours, never coming back home and never letting go the switchblade which was now all she had left. Her desperation and rage were such it had eaten her to the core. Before, when Hip Holly, Moon Shadow and especially Sky Skimmer were making fun of her, Muffin had always thought it to be her fault. She wasn’t this enough, or she was that too much. She didn’t deserve to have friends interested about her after what previously had happened to her. But ever since last week, and especially the day before, when she already had been beaten because of the attention Rainbow Dash addressed her, everything had changed. Quickly, she had come to the conclusion that if her life felt like hell, it was because of Rainbow Dash and how “awesome” she was. Blinded by negative feelings, she had gone to the apartment blocks for students where Soarin was living – she was unfortunate enough to know the place – since she had heard her prey spent more time at her boyfriend’s than at home. This was how she had come to this aggression that she now regretted with a bitterness as wide as an ocean. When Rainbow Dash had recognized her and said this mysterious name, something had started inside of her. And when she had heard Soarin’s yell, she had fully realized what it was. If she acted this way, she would be no better than her three torturers. Telling the couple what led her here, Muffin didn’t spare them any detail. What she wanted was at least that they tried to understand. In her mind, it was clear they would never be able to forgive her. Because of this, she also revealed them the story of her fall. How, from a simple teenage girl, she had turned into the outcast nobody wanted to rub shoulders with, and who finally been trapped between the claws of her three “friends”. A part of the rumor about her was true… She really had to go through an abortion. During a party with College students where friends had dragged her, an older boy had more or less forced her to have sex with him, and out of this faux pas had resulted a mistake which could have ruined her teenage years. But what the gossips didn’t tell was that the science teacher everybody took for her lover had helped her in every step of the way. The legal deadline for an abortion had passed and she needed to travel abroad in order to go through this act of surgery. He had accompanied her but had been stopped on their way back, at the airport. Because her parents could afford such a thing, so they had paid for her not to be in trouble with justice. On the other hand, her teacher had been immediately fired, by order from both PTA and the School Board. Once back at CHS, Muffin had learned about the rumors about her, but it had been impossible for her to refute them. None of those she regarded as her friends had believed her, and without their support, how could she convince the whole school? And because this bad business had forced her to repeat a grade, she had found herself alone among many unknown faces, lost and sad that she no longer had someone to turn to. Of course, when Sky Skimmer had invited her to have lunch at the same table than her, Hip Holly and Moon Shadow, she had thought there were at least some persons in CHS for who her past didn’t matter. She had been wrong. From the very moment she had sat with them, abuses had started, and climaxed at lunch hour, today. And this led her to assault the person she thought was the blame for her downfall, though she had been one of the rare ones trying to help her. “I’m so sorry”, she said, as she couldn’t help but sobbing, the steaming coffee cup clenched between her fingers. “Usually, I hate violence so much, it even scares me… But… But… I was feeling so bad that… I cracked. Maybe I’m crazy!” Rainbow Dash put a comforting hand on her knee, in order to make her understand that although she had been really scared, in the end she had been more frightened than hurt. And Muffin wasn’t crazy at all. The young woman’s story really made her think about Sunset Shimmer’s. She too had ended up with the statue of an outcast, and she too had trusted three persons who had abused her in exchange, thinking she would be redeemed by their side. Nowadays, Sunset Shimmer had buried deep her past of tough cookie and victim and had become a young woman who was self-confident, benevolent, strong, who her friends could always rely on. If it had been possible for her, undoubtedly this would be possible for Muffin. And Rainbow Dash would personally take care of the issue. “You know, I have PTSD and I’ve been to a psychiatric institute… What people affectionately call a nuthouse. Even though it’s not always easy, I’m getting by quite fine. Pinkie Pie used to be part of a gang, she had been involved in thefts and very violent fights with knives. Look at who she is now: everybody loves her. She’s full of energy and gives friendship and smiles away, never expecting anything in return. Sunset Shimmer had bullied students, before being persecuted as well. She even had to do community service to pay for her mistakes. Picking papers in the streets early in the morning, emptying public garbage cans, this kind of stuff… It’s nothing glorious and trust me, she gets no proud from this past. But she had been able to put this behind her and to start anew. Nothing’s a lost cause. Get your chin up, walk straight and don’t look back, show the others they had nothing on you. I’m not saying this is going to be easy, but you need to do it. So you can turn the page. So you can connect with yourself again. With who you are inside.” “But, I… No one’s on my side… And I could never tell my parents. I can’t injure them anymore.” “No one? Hey, you have me! I won’t let you down, trust me. And trust my friends as well. I know they’ll help you, because that’s just the way they are. They’re good people.” “Is it true?” Muffin asked, her wet eyes filled with hope. “Would you really do this for me?” “Did I already make a promise I couldn’t keep? Soarin, did I already do such a thing?” “You didn’t.” “I know it isn’t easy after what you’ve been through, but please, put a little faith in me.” In the rest of the school was content with turning a deaf ear about the others’ suffering, it wasn’t her kind. And she knew it, it neither was the kind of her friends. Although they had their little disagreements lately, for Rainbow Dash there was no doubt they all would be behind her. She would never let Muffin overwhelmed by fear, violence and hatred. There were too many unpleasant things going on all over the world. So she would try for best so that those within her reach would be helped. ---------------------------------------------------------------- When Twilight met her group of friends, who were accompanied by Muffin, in the front of the main building’s doors, she couldn’t escape their smirks and their looks full of double-entendres. Obviously, Flash Sentry and her had been less discreet than she thought… Nothing of this had been planned, to be honest. The day before, when they were at the Sugarcube Corner like they always were, right after Fluttershy – absent today – had explained them the reason behind her sudden hostility, she had climbed upstairs to know whether Pinkie Pie was feeling alright, while the rest of the group had walked their other friends to her bus station. When she’d got down, she’d met Flash Sentry who offered to drive her home. Though a part of her was still wary and another part kept on thinking they hadn’t much in common, Twilight kept on feeling odd sensations when she was close to him. They already had gone to the Winter Ball together, and he’d done his best to make her forget about their disastrous first date. When he’d asked her whether he could drive her to school from time to time, urged by her desire to get to know him better, she’d accepted, warning him that if she doubted about the least of set-up, she would never speak to him again. He’d accepted her condition. Although they exchanged a chaste kiss before parting, they weren’t a couple. Twilight had decided to protect her heart until she was really sure of his intentions. And, no one knew, but she also had something a bit difficult to explain with another person. “Stop looking at me this way!” she tried to order authoritatively. “Twilie has a sweetie.” “He’s not my “sweetie” … We’re just going to see each other from time to time.” “That’s what Ah call datin’ someone!” “AJ, you haven’t had a boyfriend for a while. I’d never tell about Soarin that I “see him from time to time”.” “Thanks Rainbow Dash.” “But you kiss him behind the school’s status, anyway”, the young woman chuckled. “Come on, leave her alone”, Sunset Shimmer said with a smirk. “Twilight knows what she’s doing.” “Thanks, Sunset.” The teenage girl answered with a sympathetic wink. She was lucky she could always rely on Sunset Shimmer in moments like this. Since she had integrated the gang, Twilight had found an undreamed support inside her, and they both shared a passion for everything scientific she could hardly communicate to her other friends, though she loved them all. Her presence by her side always was a relief, to the extent that sometimes she wondered how she would feel if she had to get away from the group. It wouldn’t happen, thankfully. Muffin, who had witnessed the whole conversation, was really in admirations of their unity, obvious even when they were quarrelling. Back then, she too used to have a bunch of friends but they were nothing like what was under her nose. Undoubtedly, they were aware what they shared together was a precious thing. What a pity one of them was missing, the nice girl with long pink-haired who arrived last year. She had no idea of why she wasn’t with the rest of them, yet she was sure she had seen her earlier, rushing towards her classroom. “I think you girls are awesome”, Muffin shyly said. “That’s because we are awesome!” “Rainbow Dash overdoes it, like usually”, Twilight added. “We’re ourselves, that’s all.” “Eeyup, that’s the secret: we like each other just the way we are.” “Same than AJ”, Pinkie Pie claimed while chocking her friend in her arms. “Come on, we don’t have all day. Are you ready, girls?” All at the same time, they answered yes to Rainbow Dash before forming a circle, arms stretched, doing their rally cry. Students passing them by looked at them wondering what they were doing this time. They knew they could expect almost everything from them, though it never stopped them from being curious, since it was their natural penchant. And when the group dived into the building, walking on the same line with the same pace, determined, Muffin by their side, they didn’t go unnoticed – which already was rather difficult most of the time. Those present in the corridors this morning knew they were up to something, and a small crowd took shape behind them. The fact Fluttershy was absent didn’t seem to cut a swathe the way the presence of this other person did, a person they would never thought they’d see walking with CHS’ superstars. It also was partly what made people so curious about what they were up to. They walked to the eleventh graders’ lockers. Sky Skimmer, Moon Shadow and Hip Holly looked at the bunch coming their way with mouths wide opened, knowing intrinsically they were here for them, yet unsure of what to expect. The fact Muffin was by their side, and most particularly by Rainbow Dash’s side, scared them while at the same time, it made them go green with jealousy and rage. But of course, once in front of their idol, they chose to display the surprised part of them. “Rain—Rainbow Dash… What’s wrong?” “You should be ashamed!” “What are you talking about?” Moon Shadow was able to articulate. “I know you know what I’m talking about.” Her two accomplices saw Sky Skimmer swallowing. She had established herself as their natural leader, and under her influence, the two others had ended up being as filled with resentment and bitterness as she was. It was how they admired Rainbow Dash that had put them together, but it seemed like it also was what had lost them somehow. “I… I…”, the first girl muttered. “No need to try to find excuses! There’s no excuse to your behavior. You say I’m your role model but frankly, I’m not sure I want people like you to admire me. Using someone’s vulnerability in order to feel stronger, using violence to get what you want, maybe it works in politics, but when it comes to actual interpersonal relationships, it’s the last straw of pathetic!” “We weren’t aware how much what we were doing was harmful, I swear”, Hip Holly answered, in tears. “Oh, don’t give me that, please! You used to beat her to steal her money, then you beat her because I started to befriend her but not you, you humiliated her as often as possible, just because you thought she was at your mercy. Do you really think this is an honorable behavior? It rather is the strength of the weak ones!” “She’s right”, Sunset Shimmer claimed while making three steps towards the girls. “I used to be just like you. I thought brutal force was the answer to everything. But it answers nothing, it only brings more misery, more pain.” “When yar bein’ cruel with others, ya don’t make yarself more resistant, ya don’t bond with each other, ya only become slaves of yar own cruelty and in the end yar losin’ who ya really are inside.” “Yes”, Pinkie Pie added. “Once you realize you don’t know who you are anymore, because you chose the wrong path, you’re feeling even worse and you think you’ll never find the right path again.” Each of them had to go through something that could have kept them at the bottom. Each had been through their loads of disillusions, deceptions, angers and malevolence. Each time, they had been able to fight against their darkest demons, though it never was easy, for none of them and for no one else too. There always was another way, this was what experiences of life had taught them. “I… I never wanted that. All we wanted was to be like you. I thought that… I don’t know what I thought anymore”, Sky Skimmer finished, in tears just like her two other friends. It was Twilight’s turn to step on the scene. The ordeals that had sprinkled her existence maybe hadn’t been than what the rest of her friends had to go through, even if she could have been raped by a bunch of guys and the only psychogenic non-epileptic seizure Rainbow Dash had in front of her and Applejack was still engraved in her memory, but she had learned many things just by being by their side. “Friendship isn’t about imposing your will to others, or to be united in belittling the others. Friendship is always being here for the ones you love, not only when everything is fine, but especially when everything seems to go wrong. it’s not being strong for yourself, it’s being strong together. With each other, not against each other. Only with a sincere and resistant friendship will you be able to fight this feeling of guilt and anger you can feel, sometimes, when life is cruel with you.” “But how do we do it?” Moon Shadow questioned. “You could start by asking Muffin to forgive you for all that you put her through”, Rainbow Dash suggested. “Only by starting from here you girls could be able to turn the page.” Muffin, in the background during all this time, stepped forward, while the rest of the group stepped back. A lot of students had gathered around them, and by scanning the crowd, it was easy to see some of them moved by the friends’ speech. They all were staring at Muffin now, wondering what she was going to say with a hint of fever. But she didn’t say anything. She only stood in front of the three young girls, and she waited. It was what Rainbow Dash had suggested her to do if they came to this part of the process, and she didn’t dare to deviate from the established scenario, scared she would say or do something that would ruin everything. She had become like this. By dint of hearing the others calling her “Derpy” and repeating her she was nothing but a numskull, she had eventually started to believe nothing good could ever come from her. But she was wrong. Rainbow Dash’s boyfriend had told her last night, a little before she left them, that since she’d been able to gather so much destructive energy out of despair, if she focused on her goal and didn’t listen to the others, she would prove herself the others were telling her lies. So she kept her chin up, and displayed dignity, waiting for the words her former bullies were about to say. And they were of a disarming simplicity. “Sorry, Muffin.” “We behaved like a bunch of heartless fools with you, sorry.” “We’ll never do this again, I promise.” Now, she held all the cards. Nothing obliged her to accept the young girls’ apologies, which didn’t mean they didn’t owe them to her. A part of her wanted to say that everything was forgotten, but the rest know she wouldn’t forget so easily. She didn’t have to suffer from a few harmful words, it was all the hatred and helplessness of the girls she had been hit with. “I forgive you… But it will take time before I’ll trust you again. I still have bruises on my stomach from last day’s blows and it hurts a lot. I don’t think we could become friends again so easily.” “Alright. I guess we deserve this”, Sky Skimmer nodded while drying her tears with the back of her sleeve. Hip Holly and Moon Shadow nodded too. The road to redemption was long and steep, it needed to be cautious not to slip and fall down, but if they supported each other, they would get on top. And once they would have become who they wanted to be deep inside, then Muffin’s friendship would naturally flow back to them. That was what Sunset Shimmer had experienced. It also was what Pinkie Pie had to go through. They both knew what the road the three friends were about to take looked like, and they knew what fabulous treasures were on the other side of the hill. Among the crowd, Sunset Shimmer had a glimpse of Aria, Adagio and Sonata, who seemed to have witnesses the whole thing. As soon as their leader noticed they had been spotted, and their former fellow addressed them a small nod, Adagio looked away, jaw clenched, and the three friends disappeared among the crowd. Sunset Shimmer rolled her eyes. Really, some persons had issues with the fact of giving in and admit one’s fault. But it also outlined a smirk on her face. Somewhere, she knew that behind their masks of impassibility, they also had remorse. Or they would never had looked away the way they did… They weren’t the only ones who had witnessed everything, hidden inside the crowd. Someone who should had been there had seen it all, and was feeling her throat clenched and tears on the brink of falling. Her best friends. They were extraordinary, the most extraordinary persons she’d ever met. And she had been nothing but hostile with them just because she wasn’t feeling strong enough to face adversity. It always led her to the same realization since yesterday, undeniably – she didn’t deserve them. -------------------------------------------------------- Shortly after the first class to begin, the crowd scattered and everyone went back to its own business. This morning’s event still was on every mind and every lips, but it left public sphere to become part of the private comment. As long as it guaranteed no one would lash out on Muffin anymore, the group considered their mission completed. The fact others were talking about it didn’t really matter to them, but if it had allowed some persons to understand a few things about themselves, then it was a good thing. All the same, Rainbow Dash was self-satisfied. Oh, not for the good it would probably do to her dear reputation. She couldn’t care less about it. Although she didn’t really believe in these things, she thought if her mother could have seen her, she would have been proud to note that what she had taught her daughter hadn’t fallen into deaf ears. Because she was from a rather modest background, and she had managed to get to a higher level thanks to the strength of her will, Firefly had always taught her that though strength was necessary, and power wasn’t something to fear, it was never at the others’ expense. It came from the depth of the soul, and could only be acquired through experience and integrity. She might have an ego which took a lot of room, maybe she liked to boast a little too much, she was full of neurosis and phobias, and lazy, unable to clean things up behind her, and many other flaws, but she was neither coward nor cruel. When it was needed to fight for the honor of the violated ones, she wasn’t afraid of anything. When it was needed to be here for those she loved, she ran to help them without further questions. And it was her character trait she was the proudest of. It also was what Fluttershy admired the most in her friend’s. She often happened not to say things the best way possible, but there was no surprise with her. Everything was clear. She would never hide anything from her feelings about someone – only about her own person, since she was more vulnerable and sensitive that she wanted to admit. From her spot, she was observing the group. They were doing their best to show that her absence by their side didn’t affect them, like often. Though she knew how the global mood was when one of them wasn’t feeling good. Undoubtedly, they would do anything to help her, although in this case, they could do nothing more but trying to make her focus on something else. It even was the main problem. Not that she didn’t want their help. She was so eager to let go and get comforted by them. But she didn’t want to let go. She would never toughen if she always counted on others to heal her wounds. And there was something else… The teacher for the next course wouldn’t be long now. If she wanted to do what she wanted to do, she had to go now. Fluttershy took a deep breath, and got her, her legs like cotton. Her heart was thumping and she could feel it would be difficult for her not to cry, but she had to do it, for her sake, and for the sake of the whole group. When the four young women saw her beside their tables, they smiled warmly at her. This wouldn’t make things easier for her, conversely. So much kindness was too painful. “Hey Fluttershy”, Rainbow Dash greeted her. “I’ve called you all morning long, why didn’t you answer?” “Yeah, you missed everything, that’s sad…”, Pinkie Pie added. The worse probably was that Pinkie Pie, after the odious way she had behaved with her, kept on displaying benevolence with her, as if nothing had happened. Fluttershy swallowed, and started: “I’m sorry, I… I couldn’t be here. In fact… I’ve realized something this morning. You are… fantastic! I’ve never met anyone like you, girls. What you’ve done to help Muffin, and Octavia before her… I don’t have the words.” “Yar fantastic as well, Fluttershy, ya know”, Applejack tried to comfort her. “No”, the young woman answered, shaking her head. “I know I’m not. I’m a coward and everything scares me. I’m nice with everyone because I’m afraid they would hate me otherwise. That’s why…” She hated herself for that, but she couldn’t help tears to fall off her eyes. Because of this, her friends would probably feel even worse. It only reinforced her impression that all she could bring them were more troubles. “That’s why I’ve decided to take a step back. I need to be alone, to think, without being a burden to you.” “Stop it! You’re not a burden. You’re our friend.” “I am. That’s the problem. I’m relying on you too much, and in the end, I don’t help myself when I do. I have to take stock. To know who I really am. What I can do without your assistance. I need it.” They still could try to convince her she was wrong, and that everything would get better if she held on. However, Fluttershy seemed to be determined, under her tears and her shaking body. Since she felt it was something essential for her in order to move on again, they didn’t have to interfere. She would come back somehow. Just like Twilight came back, like Applejack came back, like Pinkie Pie who never went away… Didn’t they? “Alright, Fluttershy. If you think you need it”, Sunset Shimmer told her. “Yes, I do need it. So… I have to give you this back.” Under her friends’ bewildered eyes, she plunged her hand into her uniform’s skirt and grabbed her Friendship Bracelet that she put on Pinkie Pie’s table. “I’m no longer worth of wearing it.” “Are you out of your mind? You needing to think about things don’t change anything to our friendship. You’re still a part of us.” “Sorry, Rainbow Dash. I can’t. it’s better this way. Once I’ll find all the answers I’m looking for, I’ll put it on again. For now, I really feel like I don’t match up to the symbol.” “But…” “Dash, ya have to accept Fluttershy’s decision. She knows what she’s doin’.” Although she was partly feeling responsible for what had happened, and this sudden departure hurt her, and scared her, Applejack also knew that trying to stop Fluttershy from doing this would be sheer selfishness. If they loved her, they had to accept to let her go, if this was what she wanted. And Rainbow Dash soon drew the same conclusion. With a lump in her throat, she told Fluttershy she accepted her choice, and that she was welcome anytime she wanted. The young woman barely had time to nod that their teacher, Mr. Cranky, stepped into the classroom, railing against a problem of traffic jam which had made him arrive late. The man was kind but known as grumpy, and Fluttershy didn’t want to be in the hot seat. She dashed towards her chair, and swallowed up her tears. It was the first step of her transition. To resist for the whole class, for the whole first day without them, without shedding a single tear. In reality, she was going to miss them. Terribly. There wouldn’t be a day, or a minute, without her thinking about the pain she inflicted to them with her decision. But she would stay strong, because it was essential for her recovery. Until she finally felt worth of the most extraordinary persons she had ever met.