"Attention Agency Object number 342. Your interview will begin now. As per Agency By-law 92, I am required to tell you this interview will be recorded in audio and text formats. As per Agency By-law 453, I am also required to tell you that failure to comply with any request filed by the interviewer as per Agency By-law 33, will be grounds for immediate termination. Immediate termination for an object of your class, as classified in Agency By-law 2854-c-iv-4, will be meltdown in a suitable blast furnace as Per Agency By-law 421." A gruff, yet monotone voice crackled from the intercom. It was almost as if this was this pony's thousandth time reciting this exact spiel.
"Hello, AO-342, I am investigator Silent Step, and I will be your interviewer today." The male voice was replaced by a different, more feminine voice. The intercom seemed to strain much less at this change.
Interesting, the technology might just be quirky, but it may be possible that broadcasts are mainly made by higher-pitched voices. Whether this points to a female dominated society rather than one simply ruled by them...
"Hello, Silent Step. It's a lovely facility you have here. I must note; however, that this facility seems almost too advanced to belong to this world."
"Yes, it is pretty state-of-the-art, isn't it? But, unfortunately, that is not what we're here to discuss. I am here to ascertain your exact motives, personality, and threat to Equestrian society at large." Silent Step chuckled slightly "That does sound rather serious, doesn't it? Just think of me as your friendly neighborhood therapist, psychologist, or what have you."
A beat.
"So, tell me about yourself."
Explorator paused. He was taken aback by the sheer mundanity of Silent Step's question.
"I am Probe model EX-42, sent by the Deep Space Exploration wing of the National Aeronautics and Space Administration of the Government of the United States of America in the year 2342 Common Era."
"Yes, and...?" Silent Step trailed, attempting to extract more information from Explorator
"Serial Number 45693-A-c."
"Is there any meaning behind that? Or is it just a designation?"
"It means I am the Forty-five thousand, six-hundred ninety-third EX-42 probe Template A, Variant C. That is to say that I am a human-shaped probe outfitted with a miniature cold fission reactor and multiple armament including laser, ballistic, and incendiary."
"Ah, yes, that is concurrent with our findings. However..."
"You see no evidence of laser weaponry. That is, if you know what th-"
"We have lasers, we're not a bunch of dolts."
"Of course, but my main and targeting laser are disassembled when in storage. You may have found random lenses, an odd tube, et cetera."
"Ah, here they are. Yes, we thought those were rather odd when we found them."
"Understandable."
Silent Step noticed that, although Explorator would make occasional conversational replies, the conversation seemed to die immediately after he spoke. She supposed that that was simply a quirk of talking to a machine. Or, perhaps it was simply a tactic to force her to reveal more information in order to keep him talking.
Or he just doesn't want to talk.
"You will notice that I do indeed have a chemical manufacturing suite and a much more efficient reactor. I have noticed that you have a primitive nuclear reactor and no solution for the disposal of its waste. Is that correct?"
"I am not at liberty to say. Perhaps we should continue as to your homeworld's capabilities?"
"It is correct. I was simply being polite. Now, I will have you know that nuclear waste is highly toxic, as I am sure that you have figured out by now, and that I can fix that. I know you probably don't want to give me access, but I can reduce the risk to staff and the environment if you let me in. As a civil defense agency, I should assume that the wellbeing of your nation should be of utmost importance to you." Explorator continued, unwavering.
"We cannot hand you the keys to nuclear material. The only reason you would want that material is if you could reprocess it into a form useful to yourself, and we will not allow you to rearm yourself."
"Acknowledged."
"Now, tell me more about your homeworld."
"No." Explorator stated defiantly.
"You will move on to the subject of your homeworld." Silent Step commanded, taken aback by the brashness of Explorator's refusal.
"Is precognition a skill ponies posses?" Explorator continues his defiance.
"If you will not talk, you will be marked for immediate termination!" Silent Step shouted into the microphone, causing the intercom to crackle and cut its audio.
Explorator sat silently for a moment, considering his options.
"What would you like to know, specifically?" He asked.
"Anything, math, technology, history, magic. Just bucking talk." Silent Step breathed a sigh of relief. Even she wasn't truly sure what termination would look like for 342.
"One moment. I will access those files for you." Explorator easily found entries for history, technology, math, and the like.
Magic; however, was a different story. "Files found, total audio time: 10 years, 27 days, 15 hours, 47 minutes, and 15 seconds. Total visual content: approximately 532.285342 petabytes. Total text content: 2.128 Terabytes. Unfortunately, I cannot find any references to magic that are congruent with or similar to what I have experienced here. Therefore, there is no non-fiction data on magic. I apologize for the inconvenience."
"That's great, but how are we to process all of that data? Those numbers are utterly impossible!"
"If you can provide me with about 26600 liters of black ink, I can easily print all of the text files. As for audio and video, I can upload them to a machine to play them. However, I would need some basic comp--"
"Are you kidding me!? That would take millennia to sift through! Not to mention that we'd suddenly require every drop of ink in Equestria to let you 'print' these documents! Could you give us a highlight reel, or cut down the information is some way?"
"Processing. Result: all data condensed to a one-hour video presentation and 100 pages of accompanying documentation."
"Good. Figure that out, then. You will not be provided anything other than what you have already been given. After all, we cannot risk accidentally arming you." Silent Step took a step from the microphone.
"Quill, I think that this may be our most interesting case yet." Silent step said to Black Quill, who was currently furiously typing on a binary typewriter.
"Honestly, I think the case with the cabinet that teleports its contents a bit more exciting. I mean, honestly, we've completely gutted this machine. I'd be surprised if this thing can even print a page. Whatzit got, a typewriter in there?"
Black Quill laughed at the absurdity of his statement.
"Be careful, that's what the crew guarding the hero always says. And you know what happens after that?" Silent Step turned to Black Quill, who stopped typing momentarily to consider.
"Well, usually they end up concussed or dead. But that won't happen to us, we got magic on our side. I mean, this thing crumples at the mere sight of it." Black Quill resumed typing, then stopped again after a few silent minutes.
"What do you suppose it cut out of the presentation?" Black Quill stared quizzically into his paper.
"I suppose we could ask him later. But in all likelihood, it is most likely that it was mostly filler." Silent Step stated after a second's thought.
"Yeah, but if this machine is from a place where they achieved space flight, without magic I may add, then what it considers trivial could advance our tech by decades, centuries, millennia even." Black Quill said, after finishing the transcript. After he had placed it into the requisite folders, Silent Step turned to face the microphone.
"Indeed, but it remains to be seen how useful this machine could be to us. After all, who's to say we can even understand the foundations of each other's science." Silent Step sighed, worried that the two were fundamentally different.