Hey, Everypony! Sorry I didn't get this out on the 5th like I was hoping for. I think that was the day I literally slept for 18 hours. My sleep schedule has been so messed up. Some days I have to work 6-12 midnight, then got up for 6am the next morning, so i just don't go to sleep that night and sleep more the next day... I'm not even sure what today's date is, but I know it's later than I wanted it to be.
Quick warning... there are some swears and stuff in this chapter and in future chapters. I doubt there's many people on this site who aren't old enough for that, but I thought I'd warn you anyway. I mean no offense by words here, nor do I mean any offense toward Derpy here or in future chapters. I love her to death.
Anyway, here's a little Derpy!
Waking up the next morning, was... difficult. And considering I had a gaggle of ponies poking and prodding me to get up, that's saying something. The reason? The computer was on. As difficult as it was to not come off creepy when I told them I knew about them, I still decided to watch more. And by more, I mean a lot. And by a lot, I mean all of them. Okay, well, not ALL of them, but in the 7 or so hours between when they went to sleep and the time they started trying to get me up, I got about 20 minutes of sleep. And that was only because I knew it would be REALLY awkward if they woke up to me watching them. Indirectly of course, but still.
Of course, the real reason I was having trouble wasn't the lack of sleep. Sure, that added to it a bit, but I was used to going long hours without sleep. The real reason was the dream I had. It was Sarah. Again. A dream I had every so often about this girl. This wonderful, beautiful girl.
See, I liked this girl Sarah in high school for almost 3 years. She was pretty awesome. She was totally a geek and proud of it, just like me. Well, I'm more of a music geek whereas she liked anime. Excuse me. LOVED anime. I watched a few shows with her here and there, and it was cool, but it was hard to get into it when we watched them all in a row the way we did.
Anyway, the dream. I was with her again. Not dating, just... you know there together. I still loved her. And I still wanted to be with her. It always seemed to be the same dream. We were eating at the same table, eating the same food in every dream. And every time, she'd get up from her seat and come over to the one next to me to sit next to me. And she'd lean over and kiss me on the cheek every time and tell me she wanted to be with me. And every time, I felt the warmest feeling a human being possibly can feel in my chest. And every time, I would relax and enjoy that feeling. And then wake up. It was torture. Having the same dream, thinking it's real even though it's happened a million times. Wishing she would actually kiss me and tell me she loved me. There were more than a few times when I would wake up hugging my pillow thinking it was her, only to start sobbing when I realized it wasn't.
But I was getting used to it. That didn't make waking up to a nightmare any easier though. I still wondered what exactly was keeping me alive. My parents were distant. My friends... well, I doubt they'd think much if they suddenly never heard from me again. My sister would be pretty sad though. I'll admit, she definitely had a hand in keeping me around, but I wasn't around just for her. My heart always said "Why not do it?" But my brain would always say "It's not that bad."
My first bit of consciousness came with a weight on my chest and a lot of high pitched voices. Have you ever had one of those moments, usually during a sleepover of vacation, where you wake up and have no idea where you are or who is with you? This was one of those moments. My eyes still closed, I COULD NOT for the life of me, figure out where I was, who was yelling at me or why my chest hurt. It took a good ten seconds of listening to the voices to realize who it was and even then, I was skeptical as to whether or not they were real. And once I finally did realize, I didn't want to get up.
Apparently Rainbow Dash explained (as best she could) how I knew about them. Twilight must have known what a TV was, because she didn't ask right away like I expected her to. Instead, she had warmed right up to me and was now sitting on my chest, poking at my face with her hoof.
"Wake up. Wake up! We need to get back Equestria and I told you we'd wait until you were up to go. So get up!"
"You mean if I never get up, then you'll stay forever?"
"Stay for-" Twilight jumped off of me like I just reached to molest her or something. "Stay?! But...but... we can't! We don't belong here! Why would you want us to stay?"
I tried my best to stay calm and just shrugged. "I dunno, you guys seem like a lot of fun. Why not hang out for the day? Experience the world a bit?"
Applejack and Rainbow Dash clearly didn't like the idea. Dash was probably still creeped out and Applejack... well, I don't know. She just looked awkward. Like she was in a home she was unwelcome in. Twilight on the other hand, looked very thoughtful. She seemed to be very interested in the idea of learning about a new world. And although I wanted the others to want to stay too, it was Twilight's magic that would bring them home, so she had the final word. I turned to see Pinkie's reaction; to see if I could get her to help me out a little, but she was nowhere to be found. Unsurprising.
But, Twilight had made up her mind. "Alright, we can stay for a little while anyway. If you're sure we won't be too much trouble."
I really couldn't hold it in any longer. "Hells, yeah! So, um... not to jump right to it, but do you think I could introduce you to my sister? I think you'll really like her. And I'm sure she'll like you, although she still makes fun of me for watching the show." Though it's hard to take her seriously when she's sitting there watching with me.
"Ummm, I thought you said that was a bad idea?" Rainbow Dash seemed to be in a bad mood. Must just be because it's early.
"Well, she's my sister. And she's seen the show too, so she knows you like I do. Besides, I don't think I could keep you guys a secret for very long. I'll probably end up telling my parents too."
Twilight seemed pretty alarmed at the thought of my entire family knowing. "Then why did you ask us to stay?! I thought it was super important we stay hidden!"
"Well, yeah, it is... but I have a certain few people that I know for a fact it would be safe to tell. Now, speaking of secret, where is Pinkie?"
"I'm right here, silly!" I turned to the source of the voice. It was Pinkie walking down the stairs.
"Pinkie! I...you...!"
Pinkie reached the bottom of the stairs and bounced over to me. "I was hungry! I hope you don't mind I helped myself to the kitchen. "At first I was going to make scrambled eggs, but I had those yesterday! Then I was going to make oatmeal. Then I was like...OATMEAL?! Am I crazy or what?" Pinkie asked with the BIGGEST smile on her face. I couldn't tell if she actually thought there was something wrong with oatmeal or if she was just... you know... being Pinkie.
Applejack made her way towards the stairs. "Well, if yer parents aren't home, that means we can go find ourselves somethin' to eat, right? I don't mean to intrude, but ah'm a might hungry if ah do say so."
"Well, alright. Why not?"
I led the group up the stairs and into the kitchen. I figured fruit and toast would be good for the ponies, but I grabbed a box of Cheerios to see if they'd like that. That counts as grain, right?
I put the cereal, bowls, cups and plates out on the table and the ponies sat down. There were only enough seats for them, but I didn't mind standing. Turning to get the milk, I heard the sound of breaking glass behind me.
"Really? I-" Turning around, there wasn't much to say. The bowls and cups were mostly on the floor, broken. In their place were two more ponies. Rarity and... Derpy? Yes. There sat Derpy and Rarity on my kitchen table. Derpy seemed to be wearing a partially made dress that had ripped and caught fire on the edge a bit. There was fabric scattered all over the kitchen. I saw a pin cushion had landed near my feet. There was even the upper half of a mannequin in the sink. We all seemed to have the same reaction. Mouths wide open in shock.
Finally, Rarity asked what we were all thinking. "Derpy! What... what have you done?!"
Derpy started to visibly shake as tears started coming to her eyes. "I... I just don't know what went wrong!"
My brain couldn't decide what to do. That was probably the funniest thing that had ever happened to me, and I wanted to laugh. But poor Derpy was on the edge of tears. I just couldn't laugh until I made sure she knew everything was fine.
"Derpy! It's okay! Actually, I'm really glad you... how...DID you get here?"
*Sniff* "I don't know! One minute, I was helping Rarity by trying on some dresses and the next-" *Sniff*
I walked over and gave Derpy a big hug. Out of all the ponies that are here, Derpy's the first one I get to hug. You know? That's perfectly fine with me. As long as there's more to come. Releasing Derpy, I turned to Rarity, hoping that she hadn't passed out or anything. I could only imagine this from her point of view. One minute, she's pinning a dress to be fixed, the next, she's on a table in a strange new world with a strange creature hugging her friend who apparently managed to bring her here. And I thought Pinkie was the only one to defy physics.
Rarity was finally starting to regain the ability to speak. "Derpy! I... you! How?" She looked around then at me.
"What? Where am I? What ARE you?"
"I am me." I doubt explaining to her now would do much good anyway. Much easier for the others to explain it. "Welcome to Earth, Rarity."
"How do you know who I am?"
"Yes." I was intent on making this as confusing as possible. The others didn't butt in at this point, so I assume they
were going along with the idea.
"No, I asked HOW you knew who I was. Not IF you knew."
"Yes! Exactly." I couldn't help but snicker a little.
Derpy seemed to have calmed down. Well, she was still as confused as Rarity, but at least she wasn't on the verge of tears anymore. Hopefully messing with Rarity a little would make her feel better.
I stepped forward, offing Rarity a 'handshake' "Welcome to Earth! I am Even." I motioned to the others sitting at the table. "This is Pink, Purple, Orange and Blue." Well, that worked out well. I said that without even thinking! Now to kick it up a notch. "My dear, Derpy Hooves. My queen! It is with utmost pleasure that I welcome you to my humble home. All hail Queen Derpy!"
Nope. I couldn't continue. I lost it right there. I was quite literally rolling on the floor laughing. "Oh, god. That was amazing. It's strange that I'm already getting accustomed to random appearances of ponies. I'll be right back. Twilight, could you try to help them out? I have to use the little filly's room." I left them in the kitchen with tears in my eyes. I really wished I could have kept that up. Derpy probably would have been ecstatic that she was a queen.
I did my business and came out of the bathroom. I immediately heard giggling from my sister's room. Oh, balls. Was that Pinkie's giggle? I rushed to the kitchen only to have my stomach drop. Balls. They're not here. And that means it WAS her giggle. Then again, giggling is probably a good thing. I made my way back down the hallway and into my sister's room. There, as I expected, was all seven of them. Six ponies and my sister laughing it up.
"Oh, good. I see you've met."
"Brother!" My sister ran over to me and gave me a huge hug. "There are ponies here! How are there ponies here?"
"That's a very good question. One that I will hopefully answer soon. Twilight, could I borrow you for a minute?"
"She nodded. Yes, I suppose this is probably overdue."
I took her back out into the kitchen and we both sat down at the table. She looked adorable sitting on the chair like that. "So. I'm sure you've got questions. Shall we alternate? I'd like to start." She nodded. "How did you, Pinkie and Applejack get here?"
"Oh, that's easy. It was a simple teleportation spell. I just locked onto Rainbow Dash's magic signature and we ended up right here with her! Okay, my turn. I think I understand it now, but just to be sure, how do you know who we are?"
"Well, here on Earth, we have television. Do you know what that is?" She shook her head. "Well, Rainbow Dash described it as 'watching books happen'. Will that suffice for an explanation? I can show you a TV later."
"I suppose that makes sense. There must be a way to visually record and playback an event using magic, I just haven't found out how yet."
I think that's called memory, Twi. I don't understand it either. "Okay, well, here on Earth, we have a TV show called My Little Pony. It's basically... about you. Well, the six of you, mostly. It shows us the most important events from the time you moved to Ponyville to the time Discord attacked. And a few other things like how you each got your cutie marks and stuff."
"Wow! That's a lot! I've been living in Ponyville for almost 3 years!"
"Well, she show has something like 52 episodes. And there'll be more coming soon." Squee! "I haven't seen them all, but after last night... I've seen most of them anyway."
"Can... Can I see them?"
Oh, god. Is that a good idea? I think... that would be amazingly fun actually. Watching ponies with ponies? That's be like direct commentary and deleted scenes as we go along! I can be asked! "Yes. I would like that. But we'll do that some other time. Right now, it's my turn again. "How did Derpy and Rarity end up on my kitchen table?"
"I have no idea. Some of the things Derpy does make abut as much sense as Pinkie's Pinkie sense. You just have to go with it. My turn again! Are you humans really as violent as I've read about?"
"Yes." I had no idea what she's read about us, but after reading Cupcakes last night, I don't think there's anything we won't do. "We murder, pillage, thief, swindle..."
"What, are you all pirates or something?" she asked with a very amused... and kind of sexy look.
Why did I find that look sexy? Wait... was that flirting? My head hurts... That aside, I laughed at the irony of that question. "Yes. Basically, we are pirates. We just talk differently from the pirates you know. Instead of 'Arr' and 'Matey', we say 'Homie' and 'Fuck' and 'Nigga'. We still rape yer churches and burn yer women. So much time and so little to do." She started to question me, but I continued my quote. "Wait. Strike that. Reverse it.
Thank you. My turn. How did Rainbow Dash get here?"
"I haven't the slightest idea. Do you know what she was doing? How did she show up?"
"Well, I was driving my car home from work. Right... car. Like a... really tiny train big enough for only four or so people. Anyway, I was driving my car and she apparently just popped into my back seat. I didn't hear a pop like I did with you guys and Derpy and Rarity, but it was probably just too loud in there to hear it. She said she was working on a new trick and was about to hit the ground and when she opened her eyes, she was here."
Twilight suddenly got really excited. "She did it?! I knew she would do it someday! That's amazing!"
"What? What is amazing?"
"She did it! She broke the space time continuum!"
...
...
...
"...What?"
"She must have been going so fast that she ripped a whole in the fine line between the space and time dimensions
and when she went through it, she must have appeared here!"
"So... she hit 88mph then."
"Oh it would have to be-"
I interrupted her. "Yup. She hit 88mph. Next question."
"Ok, then... Why did you want us to stay so badly?"
I sighed. I was hoping she wouldn't ask about that. "Well, think about it like this. You guys are to me what the
Wonderbolts are to Rainbow Dash." There was a LOT more to it than that, but... well, it wasn't something I really wanted to
talk about.
"Wow! That's...Are we really that popular here on Earth?"
I shook my head. Mostly to stop thinking about those... other reasons. "Not really. I mean, there are plenty of guys
my age who watch the show, but most people see us as just... weird and perverted."
"Perverted? You couldn't possibly..." She stopped seeing the blush on my face.
"NO! I mean... I don't personally or anything... just some people... like you guys a lot... and Luna looks really good in
socks... And you like to experiment, so..." This was clearly the definition of digging your own grave. "ANYWAY! MY TURN.
Do you... want to... go back to the others now? I think I'm out of questions."
"I suppose. I think most of my other questions I can answer through research or by just a difference in culture. Shall
we?"
I nodded, getting up. I led her down the hall, back to my sister's room. I opened the door. And everyone was posing.
"What the hell?" My sister was panting. I looked around. Dash, Applejack and my sister were posing in the middle of the
room and Pinkie was hanging from the ceiling fan. "Did... DID I JUST MISS A SONG?" My sister nodded, still out of breath.
...
...
"DAMN IT!"
Few quick things... I love quotes and references. I am not a clopper, but I do not judge.
Next chapter.... Fluttershy to complete the Mane Six. And chapter 5 has been planned. There is be references to the show and many lols will be had. Thanks for reading!