Dear Diary,
Daddy never came back home...he never will now. The funeral was held a few days ago; Mommy wouldn't let me go no matter how much I shouted and cried. I would have just followed her when she left but she locked all of the windows and doors so I couldn't get out. I didn't get a chance to say goodbye to Daddy. It was like he had gone on one of his night-time missions and hadn't wanted to disturb my sleeping...except this time I wouldn't see him ever again. I wouldn't care if he'd have disturbed my sleeping now; at least he would be alive and with me, where he belonged...
I cried all the time that my mother was at the funeral. She was gone for a long time, and yet when I was hungry I couldn't eat without feeling sick in my tummy. I tried to swallow through my tears but it just made me feel even worse. The food my mother had brought us tasted of nothing, and the fun food my Daddy had hidden away from my Mother's view tasted sickly without him there to eat it with me. Nothing was the same without Daddy.
I used up all of the towels in the bathroom trying to dry my eyes before Mother came home. I so hoped that he would come back with her; that he'd be standing there, arms out-stretched, ready to hug me and sing me his special lullaby. I've tried looking back at the written version that I put in you Diary but every time I try to turn to that page I always see the entry where he...where he...left me forever.
Forever's a really long time. Daddy said the stars last forever, but Daddy was sometimes wrong. I looked at the sky the night that he passed away and you know what?... I saw nothing but pitch black. No lights, no stars, no moon; just darkness. This is the problem with the sky, it's on a strict amount of time; it never changes. So why did it suddenly decide to go black just as Daddy was no longer beside me? Just when I needed the stars most they were gone.
Mother came back alone. I glared at her when she opened the door, trying to show her that I was unhappy with what she had done. She didn't care, she just glared back. Then she went to the fridge and pushed some of her horribly healthy garbage in my direction. I wouldn't eat it, I didn't want to. I sat there with my arms crossed, not caring in the least if it made her unhappy or angry.
I made her angry. Without warning she slapped me across my cheek, squeezed my nose, and then pushed all of the food into my open mouth. I coughed and spluttered, tears coming from my eyes; begging her to let go and stop the pain. She wouldn't let go. Not until all of the food had slid down my throat. It was horrible, and a large lump of the mush had become lodged into the centre of my wind pipe. I could hardly breathe with it crushing me like that.
She nodded her head, satisfied, and let go of my nose. I wheezed, the sickly feeling in my stomach even more powerful now. I knew what was coming next...Vomit. It got everywhere: the curtains, the floor, the chair, the table; I even managed to aim well enough for my mother to get a large splattering on her chest. She wasn't happy. I was just happy that I'd caught her in the blast. She'd deserved it.
It only resulted in another beating. It still hurts where she hit me. I had run to my room as fast as possible, I just needed to escape, but I couldn't. Daddy would have wanted us to stay together...I have to do what Daddy would have wanted. Not only would Daddy have wanted me to stay with her but he'd also want me to keep going to school...and that's the only reason I'm going there anymore.
I heard what Nocturn...no, Nox...had said. I heard what he really thought about everything. I don't care what anypony says about snooping being wrong, I'm glad I snooped around the corner when he had been talking to the other foals in our class. Crystal Crown and the others hung onto his every word...but they would, wouldn't they? Every word he says to them is like a word from the leaders themselves. I will never be so foalish to fall for his act ever again.
There I had stood, around the corner, listening to him lying about how he had been the one that had saved me from the avalanche, and that it had been him that had tried to stop me from lighting those fireworks, because, of course, it was all my idea in the first place....I could have hit him there and then...but Daddy hadn't raised me to hurt other ponies; he'd raised me to never try and injure another creature....But putting some magic potions into his food hadn't physically injured him...well, not for long... One day I'll get even with 'Nox', just you wait and see.
That's what my life is at the minute: a tormenting Mother who drinks too much wine in her spare time, an ex-best friend with whom I have to get even with, and then there's me: a small pawn on a chessboard; not able to move until somepony comes to pick up the pieces and start my game again....