"Htttt!" Applejack spun and slammed her hooves into the trunk of a tree.
Stu Leaves' eyes reflected the red fruit falling neatly into a barrel below. He whistled with approval.
"Whew..." Applejack tossed her mane, straightend her hat, and turned to face the stallion with a smirk. "Now. Did y'all notice what I did?"
"Uh huh." Stu nodded, sitting prim and proper on the lawn of Sweet Apple Acres. "You kicked the tree really, really hard!"
Applejack opened her muzzle... rolled her eyes... and face-hoofed. A surly breath later, and she droned: "I aimed my hooves high. Notice how I avoided kickin' the trunk too low to the ground?"
"Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh—yeah!" Stu smiled crookedly. "Sure!"
She squinted at him.
He leaned back, sweating slightly.
"Ahem..." She trotted over, stood beside the stallion, then pointed at the tree. "The closer you kick the tree to its roots, the less likely you are to shake the entire trunk proper."
"Okay..."
"Cuz if you kick that low, then you're aiming too close to its anchor to the earth. You gotta aim above its center of gravity so as to cause the most shakin' and vibrations."
"I see..."
"It's physics, ya reckon?" Applejack smiled. "Pegasi understand physics, dun they?"
"Not... really..."
Her brow furrowed. "What."
"I mean... sure! Those of us who are super gifted in flight may know a thing or two about proper wing tilting and wind resistance and all that jazz," Stu said. A shrug. "But I'm no Wonderbolt. Like most pegasi, I've just... felt flight in my bloodstream. It's innate, y'know? Flight school is all about... pulling all of those genetic gifts out of us at a young age!"
"Huh... reckon that makes sense."
"Just like how earth ponies know everything about trees and plants and seeds and... mud—"
"That's a stereotype!" Applejack hissed, teeth showing.
Stu flinched. "Err... which part?"
"I know nothin' about mud!"
"... ... ..." Stu craned his neck, looking across the farm. "Don't you raise pigs over in a pen over there—?"
"THAT—" Applejack composed herself, standing tall and proud with eyes shut. "...is just a necessity of livin' on the farm."
"Alright."
She folded her forelimbs. "Them's the mud experts. Not me."
"Okay."
"I ain't no mud pony."
"Okay."
"... ... ..." Applejack squinted an eye open. "Seriously, I ain't."
"I believe you, Miss Applejack."
"Rnnnngh... dun 'Miss Applejack' me!"
Stu Leaves chuckled. "How would you want me to refer to you?"
"Anythang but a mud pony!"
"I-I didn't say that you were—"
"Mehhh... forget it." Applejack cleared her throat loudly and pointed at the next trunk. "Now... go face the tree."
"Who, me?"
"No. Your Aunt Birdy back in Cloudsdale! Who else, ya varmint?"
"A-alright!" Stu Leaves stood up with a smirk. He squinted over his shoulder as he trotted towards the tree. "Y'know... not all pegasi have an 'Aunt Birdy.'"
"Just face the tree, Stu."
"Uhhhhhhhh huh..." Stu Leaves fidgeted in the shadow of the apple tree.
Applejack raised an eyebrow. "Everythang okay?"
"Sure! I... uh...." Stu squirmed and squirmed, looking at the tree from multiple angles. "Huh..."
Applejack sighed, trotting over. "What's the problem, Stu?"
"Just... uhm..." He looked at her. "Which is the tree's face?"
"Huh?"
"Well, you told me to face it and... I-I dunno which part of the tree is its face."
"It's a tree, Stu. It ain't got a face."
"It doesn't?"
"No sir."
"So... trees don't have butts either?"
"They don't—what..." Applejack's eyes crossed as she shook her muzzle. "What in tarnation have you been munchin' on before you came here? It's a tree! Not... grnngh... a cow!"
"Sheep have butts. And they're not cows."
"Trees dun have butts, Stu."
"Really?"
"Honest to Celestia."
"... ... ...then where does the sap come from?"
Applejack face-hoof'd. "Goddess, give me patience." She reached over, grabbed his shoulders, and yanked him towards the tree until he was facing its southern edge. "There!" She exhaled. "Now yer facin' it!"
"This is the best part of the tree, then?"
"Yes." Applejack pointed. "The roots are evenly placed in the ground perpendicular-like to where yer positioned."
"Ahhhhhhh..." Stu nodded. "...so there is a face."
"So to speak. You can tell by the consistency of the soil."
"The soil."
"That's right."
"Not the mud."
"Grkkk—!" Applejack sneered through her teeth. "Who's teachin' who, here, huh?!?"
"Heheheheh."
Applejack folded her forelimbs with a huff. "Alright, ya dag-blame'd jester. Face the tree with yer flank and give it a mighty buck, why don'tcha?"
"With... my rear hooves, right?"
"Ask any more stupid questions and you'll be usin' yer noggin."
"Hooves it is, then." Stu Leaves pivoted about, held his breath, and kicked. "Hrnnngh!"
THWACK!
"Whoahhhhh—!" He wobbled all over before falling onto his chest. "Ooof!"
None of the fruit fell.
"Hah!" Applejack smirked. "What did I tell ya about aimin' low, you varmint?"
"B-But..." He coughed and sputtered, stumbling back up to his hooves. "I thought I was aiming high!"
"Eenope!" Applejack gently brushed him aside and approached the tree herself. "Yer throwin' yer balance off to keep yer front hooves stable. Ya gotta trust in the tree to keep yerself from fallin' over. It might feel awful silly to aim as high as I do, but once you get the feel for it... you'll realize that you and the trunk are on the same team and yer workin' together to get the trees down. Watch!"
That said, she swiveled and gave the trunk a mighty buck. WHACK!
Apples fell cleanly to the basket below. Stu's eyes reflected their fall yet again.
He whistled in approval.
"Like I said!" Applejack stood on all fours again. "Team effort!"
"Pretty snazzy!"
She pointed at the next tree. "Now you give it another try."
"Alright..." Stu cracked his neck joints as he approached the trunk. "Team effort. Team effort. We're on the same side. We're on the same..." He pivoted and kicked high. "...team!" His hooves struck nothing but air, and suddenly he was standing completely upside down, teetering on his front limbs. "Whoah! Whoaaaaaaaaah! Gaah!" His feathertips fluttered at the last second as he performed a flailing front-flip and—
Thwump!
—Stu Leaves landed butt-first in the basket with his legs splayed awkwardly out on all sides.
"Guhhhhhh..."
"Heheheh..." Applejack stood over him, snickering. "Hate to break it to ya, Stu, but ya dropped the wrong fruit in the basket."
Stu blushed. He tried crossing his legs, but the positioning made it impossible. "Yeah. Uhm... I'll work on that... grnnnngh!" Using his wings, he threw himself forward. He landed on his knee joints with his butt still stuck in the basket. The pegasus stallion resembled a hermit crab, shuffling around across the lawn. "Rmmmnngh... unnngh... uhm..." He sweated as he shook and struggled to shimmy out of the constricting "shell." "...hold on a second. Nopony panic."
"Awwwwww shoot..." Applejack teetered back, laughing.
"I can fix this! I can fix this—just... rnnngh..." Stu crawled and shimmied in a circle, smiling in spite of himself. "Might need a few minutes... or hours..."
Applejack fell on her rump from the force of her guffaws.