//------------------------------// // Knowledge Is Firepower // Story: A Study In Nonsense // by Professor Piggy //------------------------------// Prompt: “You want weapons? We’re in a library! Books! The best weapons in the world! This room’s the greatest arsenal we could have - arm yourselves!” ----- “Pinkie, not to…y’know, doubt you or anything, but are you sure this is a good idea?” The Pegasus shot a nervous glance over her shoulder, then rested her eyes on the frowning pink pony – or what she could see of her, sticking out the end of the blue party cannon. That Pinkie could fit inside the cannon at all - given that her puffy pink head alone was larger than the mouth of the thing - was kind of weird, but she didn’t let herself worry too much. Pinkie let out a cheerful “Nope,” from somewhere deep inside the cannon, continuing to whistle cheerfully as though nothing was wrong at all. Dash resisted the urge to rap a hoof against the side of the cannon, mostly because it wouldn’t be as funny the fifth time she did it - Pinkie hadn’t even been surprised, last time – but also because, just maybe, that answer kind of scared her. “No!?" She whispered fiercely, as though doing so would prevent them being found “What do you mean no? Why not?” Pinkie sighed and, with a loud popping noise, pulled herself free of the cannon to fix Dash with a flat stare. “Well I dunno, Dashie – it just seems like maybe Twilight’s gonna be a teensy weensy bit of a grumpy pants about it when she finds out we took a whole lot of her books to shoot out of a cannon. And it kinda maybe seems like kind of a dumb idea to come into the Everfree forest in the middle of the night with no backup and no Fluttershy.” “I told you –“ “Fluttershy can’t know ‘cause she’d be really mad at me and think I did it on purpose, ‘cause honestly – who besides you is gonna believe I let a manticore get at Applejack’s hat by accident?” Pinkie finished for her, voice low and gravelly in a passable imitation of Rainbow Dash. “Yeah, I remember Dashie – and I get it. You don’t want Fluttershy to be mad at you because then she won’t give you kisses and that’d be so sad! But Twilight? Twilight’d never not give me smoochies!” Dash scowled, trying to find some flaw in Pinkie’s logic. What Pinkie called logic. When she failed she settled for crossing her forelegs over her chest and muttering, “I do not sound that whiny.” “Yeah you do! You totally do!” Pinkie giggled, “When you get upset your voice breaks and gets all silly and high and it’s so cute and I bet Fluttershy likes it!” “You…that…I – Shut up!” Dash snapped, “At least I don’t sound like I’m on a sugar rush all the time!” “Oh wow, Dashie. That’s really the best you could come up with?” Pinkie shot her a little smile, “You’re really upset about this, huh?” “No!” She retorted, and then hesitated. “Well…yeah. Maybe. I mean, Applejack loves that stupid hat – I think it was her dads, or something. I was just gonna hide it for a while – I wasn’t expecting anything like this!” “I know that, silly – you’d never do that to your friends. But how’d the meanie pants manticore get it’s greedy little paws on it anyway? I mean, that’s kind of a weird thing to –“ “That doesn’t matter right now, okay!? Let’s just get this over with so we can get all these back before the egghead notices they’re gone! I’ll tell you the stupid story later.” As she spoke she patted the large bag of books that stood beside her, noticing with a pang that the top one was the latest Daring Do – she hadn’t even read it yet. “And did you have to pick all the good books? Why couldn’t you get any of the stupid boring ones?” “Well, I could have. But those are the ones Twilight loves best. And no offense Dashie, but I wasn’t gonna save the books you like over the books she likes – this is already gonna hurt her pretty bad if we don’t get them all back safe, and I don’t really want to make her sad.” There was no edge in Pinkie’s voice, but the words lacked some of their usual bounce – and they hit Dash hard. Pinkie was giving up a lot, to make her happy. Just like she always had. Still, she was a little surprised. “Didn’t you say this was her idea?” “Well…it was! Kinda. A little. I asked her what the best way to distract a manticore was and I wouldn’t tell her why. She was real busy, and she got a little impatient ‘cause she thought I was being a silly-pie again.” “Pinkie – what did she actually say?” If Rainbow Dash had been nervous before she was genuinely frightened now. “Um….” The pink pony bit her lip, and glanced away. “Pinkie!” “Pinkie, you know I love you – but I’m in the middle of a very important project for the Princess and I don’t have time for this! But I’m sure that you can find the answer – there’re all kinds of books around. Just…use them this once, okay?” If the party pony’s impression of Dash had been bad, her impression of Twilight was horrible. That might have been because she was hesitating, and seemed a little scared. Dash chose to believe it was because she sucked at impressions. She didn’t say it though. Pinkie was giving up a lot, to help her. “Pinks…when we get back, we’ll go book shopping, okay? Everyone of these things we lose we’ll pick up again – good as new. On me.” Her friend gave her a sad little smile. “Thanks, Dashie.” “No problem! And besides, she said it herself – use the books! And that’s what we’re doing – she doesn’t get to be mad at us, right?” “Um….” “Right?” “If you say so, Dashie.” “Heck yeah I say so! Besides, this is a rescue mission – we’re here to save a friend’s hat, and we’re not going back without it! Trust me, Pinkie – Twilight’ll get it. And so will ‘Shy. Not only that? We’re gonna kick some manticore flank and go down in history!” As Dash spoke Pinkie’s smile grew wider and wider, and her eyes matched it perfectly. By the time the speech was over her eyes were wide and bright and sparkling, and she bounced into the air with a loud “Yeah! Let’s rescue that hat!” Dash nodded gravely and then smirked, throwing the bag on her back, “Is the cannon ready?” “Aye aye, Cap’n Dashie!” “Good.” She struck a pose, and narrowed her eyes heroically. “Let’s go find us a manticore!” Nothing, she assured herself, could possibly go wrong.