//------------------------------// // Home and Hearth (Twilight) Part 2 // Story: dC/dt ≠ 0 // by I Thought I Was Toast //------------------------------// A thousand scenarios filled my head as I watched my brother attempt to perforate Morpheus using only his eyes, each more disastrous than the last. In the end, nothing would have prepared me for what  actually happened. I opened my mouth to say something— anything— to stop Shining’s change of occupation to exterminator. My coltfriend was faster, unfortunately, cutting me off with a nuzzle before I could start. I eeped as Shining’s frown deepened, but Mo silenced me with a peck on the lips before turning to grin at my brother. “Ah, Shining Armor! Ve were wondering when you’d join us! Come and have a drink with me and your father!” One of his corbiculae opened, and he pulled a bottle from within. Is that what he’d wanted the cider for? I’d thought he’d wanted to— Mo leaned into my side for a moment, and gave an almost imperceptible shiver. I opened my mouth to ask what was wrong, and he quickly pecked me on the lips again to silence me before pulling away. As he looked back at Shining, he gave a far too cocky grin at the intensity of Shining’s glare. “You look like you’ve got a lot to say.” There was the faintest hint of an extra echo to his voice. “You certainly taste like you need some of Sweet Apple Acres’ best applejack to burn away that spiced wine of yours. Shall we abscond to the kitchen? Twilight,” Morpheus winked at me before continuing, “why don’t you tell the girls about Ponyville’s hottest new couple?” What?! No! We were supposed to do this together! Why was he offering himself up like some sort of sacrifice to my brother? I opened my mouth to say something, but – Discord, damn it all – it was too late. Dad and Shining were circling like sharks. Wait…. Maybe that was just the room spinning as I thought about being left alone with my mom and Cadance to talk about my coltfriend. Deep breaths. Deep breaths. Okay. I was better now. Cadance was certainly grinning like a griffon who smelled blood, though, pulling me into the living room as Dad showed Mo into the kitchen. “So... how long have you and your gallant prince actually been together?” Cadance set me on one of the cushions and flounced onto the couch. She rested her head in her forehooves and kicked her hind legs in the air – her gaze hooked upon me. Mom settled into another cushion, patiently waiting for me to respond, while Flurry quickly lost interest as I stalled for time. I kneaded the cushion beneath me, and she returned to playing with her stuffed animals. Her little tea party was just adorable to behold. I wanted nothing more than to join right in and discuss polo ticks with Doctor Professor Sir Lady Bearington Junior III esquire, but I knew I could only hold off Cadance for so long. “Since Nightmare Night,” I sighed, smiling at the memory, but bracing myself for the interrogation to come. “And how did it happen?” Cadance tittered. “Did somepony scare you right into his hooves? I did that for one of Shining’s guard buddies once. Scared him right out of his armor and into the embrace of the maid he had his eye on.” “No, nothing like that.” I shook my head, blushing slightly. “It was our costumes. We decided to fake a couple’s costume and the line just kind of blurred from there.” “Faked?” Mom arched an eyebrow. “How do you fake a couples costume?” Whoops…. “Oh, Twilight was sick of everypony pressuring her into a relationship, so they decided to fake their relationship back when we first met.” Cadance waved a hoof dismissively. “Luckily, everything seems to have turned out for the best.” “Faked their entire...” Mom shook her head. “Twilight, I thought we taught you better than that….” “You did….” I groaned. “But telling everypony to mind their own business never seemed to work.” “Did you do the big eyes, Auntie Twilight?” I blinked, looking down to see little Flurry gazing up at me from her toys. “Big eyes…? Ah… no, I didn’t….” I bit my lip. “And I don’t think they would have helped any.” “But the big eyes always work!” She pouted. Cadance giggled. “Puppydog eyes work for you because you’re little, Flurry. Auntie Twilight’s a grown mare. She lost that magic power just before you were born.” “What?” Flurry’s muzzle scrunched, and I had to resist scooping her up and booping her snoot. “But you give Daddy the big eyes all the time!” “And they only work on Daddy.” Cadance laughed. “Twilight might be able to use them on your new uncle Mo Mo, though.” She gave me a wolfish grin, waggling her brow. “Or maybe you’ve tried a couple other more… naughty looks.” “Naughty?” Flurry’s head tilted as the scrunch to her muzzle deepened. “Auntie Twilight isn’t naughty! She’s the bestest aunt ever!” “Cadance! Can you not, please?” I blushed, looking at the cushion beneath me as I studiously kneaded it. “I’m not like you and Shining.” “But Momma and Daddy can’t be naughty either!” Flurry whined. “They’re Momma and Daddy!” Mom snorted as she tried unsuccessfully to hold in her laughter. “You and Night Light should exchange notes, Cadance. Show a little restraint for your poor sister. You don’t want her to panic like last time, do you?” Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Mom you’re the greatest! “At the very least, we should wait for Flurry to go to bed.” She ruffled Flurry’s mane with her telekinesis. “That sort of gossip isn’t safe for little ears no matter how family friendly you make it.” What?! No! I take it back! Don’t just tell her we’ll do it later! “Besides, I’m still curious about how you two ended up together in the first place.” Mom smiled encouragingly at me. “After all, I know the last thing you’ll want to talk about is the crisis in Manehatten, but there’s a lot of rumors and gossip flying around. Something about how your coltfriend showed up out of the blue having gone through some grand magical transformation? I can’t help but notice the night you claim you got together is the same night you told the papers he entered his… Crystaling?” “Chrysaling….” I corrected, smiling just a little. “Oh my gosh, I didn’t even think of that!” Cadance laughed. “Now you have to spill all the details!” “Well…” I bit my lip, “...I guess it all began with our costumes. When he saw me dressed as Snow White, he sort of froze and he— he—“ I giggled as I felt a bubbly heat fill my breast and creep up my neck, “he called me ‘k’re-t’ched.’” “He called you what?” Cadance tilted her head, ear flicking. “‘K’re-t’ched,’” I sighed, smiling. “He said I looked beautiful, and tried to pass it off as just another word for great, so I said he looked ‘k’re-t’ched’ too.” I chuckled. “He was so embarrassed that he couldn’t even hide his blush like normal, and his coat ended up all black for a bit. I guess I must have really made an impression or something, because he ended up overfeeding on me during the costume contest.” “He did what to you?” Both my mom and Cadance frowned. “Sorry. Wasn’t thinking about how that would sound.” I shook my head. “It’s not what you think. He knew I was developing feelings for him even before I did, and was trying his best to keep himself from touching them. He wasn’t sure if they would blossom, and was even less sure that he’d be able to return them properly.” I looked towards the kitchen and ruffled my wings. “Something changed when he saw me in that costume, though. I don’t know what he saw, but he ended up indulging himself for the night, and it almost ended badly for me. He was so scared when he got me back to the castle – even more than I was – but I couldn’t find the words to comfort him.” “So what did you do, then?” Cadance was leaning forward, her gaze intense. “I poured my heart out to him, literally.” I smiled sweetly. “I couldn’t say anything to him physically, so I let my feelings do the talking. That was the last little push he needed to carry through: to crack the chitin around his heart, a kiss to wake the sleeping king.” “Aww….” Both my mom and Cadance giggled. “Eww!” Flurry had her muzzle scrunched again. “Oh, dear.” Mom laughed. “Cadance, you need to be more careful around little Flurry. If she’s not ready to hear about a little kissing, then she definitely doesn’t need to be around for the good parts.” “Good parts? There’s more?!” Flurry perked her ears. Cadance smiled. “Yes, Flurry. There’s more, but I’ll make you pancakes for a week if you promise to wait until you’re older to ask about it.” “Does being one week older count?” My niece smiled innocently. “You might have to wait a little longer than that.” Cadance chuckled, running a hoof through her daughter’s mane. “P-p-please?” Flurry pouted and turned on her puppydog eyes. “Well—“ Cadance started, biting her lip. “You did what to my little sister?!” The sound of glass shattering in the kitchen accompanied Shining’s shout. The clink of glass on chitin signaled another bottle coming from Mo’s corbiculae, and his insistence on bringing more than one bottle of Applejack’s reserve suddenly made a lot more sense. Three bottles of the hard stuff had seemed a little much for just the two of us. “Oh, Shining...” Mom sighed, looking towards the hall leading to the kitchen. “What are the odds he just found out about your little feeding hiccup?” She turned back to me, arching a brow. “Unless there’s something else we should be worried about?” “Mom….” I groaned. “Mo told you we were taking it slow. We haven’t done anything.” I paused. “Well, almost. We certainly haven’t done anything Shining has a right to get mad about.” “Just checking.” Mom began to move towards the hall. “We’d better go diffuse things before they get out of hoof. Come along, Cadance.” I stood up only for Cadance to gently sit me down again. “You stay here with Flurry, Twilight. I don’t want her eavesdropping in on this conversation, and I don’t know whether or not Shiny will want to listen to you. Please don’t take it the wrong way, but if Morpheus really did overfeed off of you…” “Right, right….” I looked to the floor. “Just try to help Shining understand, okay?” “We’ll call you if we need you.” Cadance nodded, then hugged me. “With any luck, though, we won’t. It might not even be that bad. Shining’s been making real progress recently.” “Thanks.” I hugged her back. “Please make him realize it wasn’t like him and Chrysalis.” “We will.” Cadance pulled back to follow Mom from the room. “What’s so bad about uncle Mo Mo eating you?” Flurry looked towards where the others had gone. “You’re like the best aunt ever, and Momma said he had to eat love to live. You must be super tasty and nu— nu-tree— nu—“ She stuck her tongue out. “Nutritious.” I giggled. “And no, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it. Your—” I licked my lips, “—uncle just needs to make sure he doesn’t eat too much or we both suffer from the tummy ache.” Her uncle…. Oh, Celestia, that felt odd to say. It didn’t feel wrong – just weird. One day, someday, there could be more than just a hint of truth to that, and I wasn’t sure what to think about that. Better to just enjoy the now. Have a tea party with Flurry. Pray that Mo lived through whatever was happening in the kitchen. Make a mental checklist of all the things we needed to do in Canterlot. Let’s see…. First things first, we needed to— “I’m back!” A brisk, winter draft accompanied Spike through the front door. I shivered as it flew down the hall and into the living room, and my wings itched with the need to pull a particular cuddlebug closer. “Close the door before you let all the heat out!” I settled for Flurry, letting my little niece snuggle up under my right side wing. “You would not believe the line they had at Madame Butterhoove’s, Twilight. You owe me big time for this. Twilight?” He carefully waddled in with an enormous gingerbread house grasped in his claws. It was easily as tall as he was and three times as wide. I had no idea how he made it here without tripping, and I quickly levitated it away, because there was simply no way for him to see where he was going. “Thanks!” He ran up to hug me before turning to ruffle Flurry’s mane. “How’s our favorite little niece?” “Hi, uncle Spike!” Flurry clapped her hooves together, bouncing up and down. “Want to join me and Auntie Twilight? Doctor Professor Sir Lady Bearington Junior III esquire—” there was a squeaky gasp for breath, “—invited everypony for tea!” “Everypony, huh?” Spike faked a disappointed frown. “Guess I’m too lame for your party, then.” “Dragons are welcome too!” Flurry pouted. “You’re just the only one cool enough to come. Sir Slasher and Lady Lace Rations are always too busy jousting to join in.” I giggle-snorted as she pointed to the two dragon plushies sitting to the side with fuzzy armor and lances. “Come on, Spike.” I carefully set my gingerbread mansion down and cracked a few pieces of the roof off for all of us. “I’ll even let you have the windows. I know they’re your favorite.” “You’d better,” Spike huffed. “I got one for the two of us.” “I thought you were getting each of us our own?” I arched an eyebrow. “I was going to until I walked in and was reminded of how big they are.” He shrugged. “There was no way I could carry two seperate houses, so I just got the super-mega-deluxe mansion for us to share.” He squinted at Flurry as she nibbled on the shingles I hoofed her. “I thought it would just be for the two of us, though.” “Relax, Spike. It’s just Flurry.” I rolled my eyes. “Mo isn’t getting any.” “Yeah?” Spike scratched his head. “And just where is everypony else?” “Kitchen.” I pointed as some heated comment or other filtered through the wall. “They should be done soon… I think….” “What are they arguing about?” Spike cocked his ear fin. I frowned. “Shiny found out about Nightmare Night and didn’t take it well.” “And you aren’t in there chewing him out?” Spike’s brow rose as he broke a hole in one wall to get at a frosted window. “Cadance didn’t want Flurry eavesdropping.” I bit my lip. “She was also a bit worried Shining wouldn’t be too… receptive... to anything I had to say.” Spike snorted. “I’m your brother too, and I listened to you without clawing through your coltfriend’s cocoon to gouge his eyes out.” “You know it’s different with Shining,” I mumbled as I bit into a part of the stately wall that surrounded the mansion. “He’s still hurt by what Chrysalis did….” Spike sighed and shook his head. “He’s still your brother, Twi.” He waved a claw towards the hall. “Now go on and try to talk to him at least. I’ll keep an eye on Flurry.” “Thanks, Spike.” I smiled. “Try not to eat us out of house and home while I’m in there.” “No promises!” Spike smirked, tossing a shingle up high before catching it in his mouth with a crunch. I stood and levitated Flurry over to Spike before heading out into the hall and down towards the kitchen. I walked in to find my parents, Cadance and Shining all seated at the cramped, little table over mugs of hot applejack. Mo was leaning on the counter to the side – his horn occasionally lighting up as he took a sip from his own mug and looked out the window. “Twilight!” Dad smiled, pulling a glass from the cupboard with his telekinesis. “I was wondering if you’d decide to join us. I take it that Spike is watching Flurry?” I nodded as he poured me a glass from the bottle on the table, his horn flashing for a moment as he mixed in a few berries and spices  – stirring with a cinnamon swizzle stick – and bringing everything to a boil. He levitated the steaming mug over to me and dropped it in my aura, toasting me with his own mug as I took a sip and hummed at the taste. “So, how is everything?” I said, warily watching Shining. “Just peachy.” He snorted. “Somehow I ended up the bad guy here.” “Oh, honey… don’t say that….” Cadance nuzzled my brother. “We aren’t upset with you. Your reaction was perfectly understandable – if a little overzealous.” “Yes…” Morpheus thrummed. “It was completely within reason given Mother’s—“ he coughed, “—tastes. I would appreciate it if you didn’t threaten me with kitchen utensils, though.” “I grabbed a Discord-damned baster!” Shining put his head in his hooves. “What could I have even done?!” “There’s a surprising number of uses for such a tool.” Mo shrugged, glancing out the window as he took another sip. “Hera would not have been pleased to see that. Be glad she isn’t here.” “So… everything’s alright?” I arched my brow at my brother. “I don’t need to worry about you arresting my coltfriend?” “Celestia’s sake, he’s fine!” Shining leaned back and downed the rest of his drink before beginning to mix another one. “I’m fine, too. He just ambushed me with what happened to you on Nightmare Night. You didn’t have to send in Mom and Cady to lecture me.” The hiss of boiling applejack lingered slightly longer than necessary. “Honestly, it’s like you don’t trust me around him.” He sighed. “I’m not an idiot. I know he isn’t Chrysalis.” “Sorry.” I looked to the floor, poking it with one hoof. “Don’t be…” he muttered, staring into his mug. “Just have a little more faith in me next time.” “Well, I had faith in you.” Mo toasted my brother. “You think I’d be crazy enough to leave Twilight’s side if I didn’t? When we first met, I could taste how much you wanted to kill me. Twilight even had to shield me from you, just in case. Sure, you still might have a few issues with me, but it’s nothing compared to before.” He shrugged. “Really, what’s a few harmless threats compared to actual, murderous intent?” Shining grumbled unintelligibly. “Actually,” Mo thrummed, “threatening me with the basting brush would have been even worse than just waving the baster around. Every bristle can be a weapon unto itself.” Shining rolled his eyes. “Don’t be like that, Shiny.” Cadance pecked him on the cheek. “You’ve read enough of Twilight’s reports to know he’d be able to hear that.” She giggled. “I’ll tell you what, though. How about you, me and Flurry all go for a walk around the neighborhood? Flurry wanted to see if there were any new Hearth’s Warming decorations up, and I know you just love watching her get all wide-eyed this time of year.” “Oh! Oh, oh! Can we go to Madame Butterhoove’s, too?” Flurry burst through the door – much to the chagrin of the dragon next to her. “Spike….” I frowned, making him squirm for a moment or two. “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, but still!” I looked to Morpheus. “And why didn’t you say anything?” “They were doing pretty well for amateurs.” He shrugged. “It didn’t seem fair to cut their fun short when I was the only one who noticed.” Mom had the audacity to giggle. “Well, this does save me the trouble of fetching you from the living room. It’s about time to start cooking dinner, and your father and I would never dream of starting without you, Spike. You ready to cook a meal that’d make a princess weep tears of joy?” “Ha! I do that on a daily basis!” Spike puffed his chest out. I snorted. “I cry one time, and you never let me live it down.” I yanked Mo under my wing and pulled him towards the door. “Come on, Mo.” “Where are you going?” Dad arched his brow. “To share my gingerbread house with my coltfriend!” I stuck my tongue out at Spike. “Good luck!” Spike snickered. “Flurry was hungry enough to eat a horse.” “Flurry Skyla Heart! Did you spoil your dinner without telling us?” Cadance was not pleased and neither was I. “It just tasted sooo good!” Flurry pouted as my sister-in-law frowned at her. “And there goes our trip to Madame Butterhoove’s….” Shining lamented, following the two of them into the hall. “Well, then,” I huffed. “I guess we’ll just cuddle until dinner is ready.” I grinned at my number one assistant. “We might even kiss, and there’s nothing you can do to stop us!” “Noooooooo!” Spike fell to his knees and shook his fists at the heavens as I cackled and pulled Mo into the hallway. As we left, I saw Mom and Dad rolling their eyes. “Kids.” I cackled harder, and Morpheus cut me off with a gentle kiss. “I love it when you’re evil.”