//------------------------------// // Chapter 2 - Flashback: Bon Bon // Story: Devotion // by _Undefined_ //------------------------------// Bon Bon was going grocery shopping. Because she wanted to do it that day. She was buying carrots. Because she wanted carrots. It had been ten months since Bon Bon had moved to Ponyville to begin her life as a private, independent citizen. It was the first time she had been on her own with no one to answer to but herself, and she was proud of how successfully she had adapted. She had quickly become Ponyville’s resident candy maker. That provided her with more than enough income to maintain a humble life in her new apartment. Because of that steady income, she didn’t need to worry about scrounging up the necessary bits to pay her meager monthly bills. She was even able to open and build a savings account. Considering that she had needed to start from scratch with a completely new identity, she had achieved everything she could have wanted in her new home. Well, almost everything. But apparently friendships were for ponies who had normal upbringings. Bon Bon simply had her casual acquaintances. Which was still better than anything she had had before she moved to Ponyville. Bon Bon was visiting Golden Harvest’s stall in the marketplace, using her teeth to pick out the carrots she wanted for dinner. As she stepped back and forth, moving the vegetables onto the counter, she overheard Applejack, who was operating the adjacent cart, talking to Amethyst Star. “Lemme ask you something,” Applejack said as she counted out Amethyst’s change. “You ever hear of unicorn magic goin’ on the fritz?” “Sometimes when I get a really bad cold, my whole head feels like it’s stuffed up, including my horn,” Amethyst replied. “Do you mean like that?” “I’m more talkin’ ’bout a whole town’s worth of unicorns havin’ their magic act funny. Ever hear of anything like that?” “No… why?” “Well, I got a letter from my cousin Apple Bumpkin up near Foal Mountain and I don’t know what to make of it. She says they were just visited by some government pony who said the town’s unicorns were in danger of havin’ their magic go out of control ’cause of what’s left over when they use it buildin’ up too high.” Bon Bon froze in place, the greens of a carrot hanging from her mouth. Her attention was focused solely on what Applejack was saying. “So he goes through town wavin’ this gizmo around for a few days, then says everything’s peachy keen again. Bumpkin says she thinks he’s spyin’ on everypony… but then again, she don’t really trust the government about anything. I was just wonderin’ if you thought that all added up.” “I suppose it’s possible…” Amethyst said. “I’ve never studied magic enough to know where it goes once we use it. I always assumed it just disappears.” “It’s probably just Apple Bumpkin gettin’ ideas in her head again,” Applejack said dismissively. “Anyhow, don’t let me hold you up with her conspiracy nonsense. You have a nice day now.” Amethyst wished Applejack well and went on her way. Bon Bon started to walk over to Applejack. Golden Harvest cleared her throat. It was only at that point that Bon Bon realized she still had a carrot in her mouth. She paid Golden Harvest for it and the others, then quickly stepped over to Applejack’s cart before any other customers showed up. “I overheard what you were saying,” she said to Applejack. Her tone of voice wasn’t completely hushed, but it was quiet – like she wasn’t sure she should even bring the subject up. Slowly, she asked, “Did your cousin happen to say what the pony looked like, by chance?” “If I remember her letter right,” Applejack said, “he had a short, straight, black mane and tail. Cutie mark was some kinda carpenter’s level, which she thought was suspicious ’cause it didn’t have anything to do with magic. Oh, and that’s the thing that don’t make sense to me – she says he was an earth pony. What’s an earth pony doin’ tryin’ to fix a unicorn magic problem?” Bon Bon’s heart began to beat more quickly. She felt a little weak in the knees and, strangely, a little nauseated. “I think…” she said, unsure of whether she should even say it. As if not saying it was the only thing keeping it from being true. “That’s my father.” “You think?” Applejack said with undisguised incredulity. “Don’t you know whether or not your father’s livin’ near Foal Mountain?” Bon Bon hesitated. She knew Applejack casually from having collaborated with the Apple family to sell caramel apples a few months earlier, but she was hardly a close friend. However, Bon Bon didn’t have any close friends to share this kind of information with. And now that the subject had been broached, she felt like she needed to talk to someone about it. If nothing else, she knew she could trust Applejack to not be gossipy. So Bon Bon told Applejack something she had never told anyone else. “I… kind of had a falling-out with my parents a few years ago. Long story short, we haven’t spoken in…” she quickly did the math in her head “…nearly five years now.” Applejack reacted as though Bon Bon was speaking some sort of foreign language. “Beggin’ your pardon, but that don’t make a lick o’ sense to me.” “My dad works for a division of the Canterlot government,” Bon Bon explained. “He goes from town to town, clearing up residual free magic before it has the chance to build up and wreak havoc with the unicorns who live there. Everything you described – that sounds exactly like him. They have an earth pony do it because if a unicorn did it, the residual magic might react negatively with their own magic. It’s not a conspiracy – he’s there on legitimate government business.” “No, sugarcube… I mean, I don’t get how you can go five years without talkin’ to your folks. Or knowin’ where they live.” “Oh. Every few months, he moves to a different town to take care of a new magic problem. When my parents first… sent me away, I didn’t bother finding out where they were moving to next.” There was an unmistakable hint of rancor in her words. “And I’ve never been particularly interested in knowing where they’ve been since then.” “And… you ain’t never wanted to get in touch with ’em? Not even once? Five years is an awful long time.” “I’m sure the feeling’s mutual. It’s not like they’ve wanted to get in touch with me, either.” Bon Bon knew that to be fair, during her four years with the Monster Containment Agency, her parents couldn’t have gotten in touch with her even if they had tried – it was the reason she took the job in the first place. But her feelings hadn’t changed in the ten months since the agency had been shuttered – she was certain her parents’ attitudes also hadn’t changed. “Can I give you a word of advice?” Applejack asked. She didn’t wait for Bon Bon to answer. “Don’t turn your back on your family. Especially not your parents. The last thing you want is to regret not spendin’ enough time with ’em once they’re gone.” Bon Bon opened her mouth to retort, but caught herself in the nick of time. She didn’t know Applejack the way a good friend would, but she knew why Applejack and her siblings lived with only their Granny Smith. So she closed her mouth, unsure of what to say. When Applejack broke the silence between them, her voice was softer. “I know I was just a filly at the time – I figured they’d be around forever. But still… I wish I’d spent more time with ’em.” Bon Bon felt bad for Applejack – she really did. But being forced to relive that last day with her parents made her angry. Being told how she should feel made her angry. “The difference,” Bon Bon said, her tone of voice measured but acrid, “is that your parents loved you. Mine shunned me.” “Hon,” Applejack said in a no-nonsense manner that somehow still carried a note of tenderness, “ain’t nopony’d spend that much time bringin’ you up if deep down, they didn’t love you.” Bon Bon refused to respond. “I get that there’s some kind of hard feelings,” Applejack said. “But this is your chance to be the bigger pony and take the first step.” She was unfazed by Bon Bon’s dubious stare. “Look: You know your folks are at Foal Mountain right now. If they move without you visitin’, you might never get a chance to see ’em ever again. Is that something you can live with?” Bon Bon took a moment before answering. “Probably…” she muttered. “Probably ain’t definitely. Just think about it for a little bit.” Bon Bon exhaled slowly. As she did, she grunted slightly. It wasn’t a yes. But it wasn’t a no, either. Bon Bon sat by herself on the train, her sour expression making it clear to the other passengers that they shouldn’t try to engage her in conversation. Applejack’s words had stuck with her. For a week, she couldn’t help but think about her parents. At first, she only remembered the last few months she had seen them – from the day they had refused to accept her for who she was to the day she was forced to leave the house to join the Royal Guard Support Corps. Those memories produced a dense clump of hatred that she could feel deep inside her gut. But then she began to remember some of the better times. As a filly, hoof-painting with her mother using colored icing instead of paint. Hunting for hidden eggs on Spring Renewal Day. The family tradition of celebrating her father finishing a job by going out and finding the best location for a picnic lunch in each city they lived in. And she remembered her mother teaching her to cook. The day she discovered her passion for candy making. The look of pride on her parents’ faces as the three of them celebrated her cute-ceañera together. It made Bon Bon angry to admit it, but Applejack had a point. Things had ended badly – very badly – between them, but they were her only family. And it had been nearly five years. Maybe they had finally come to terms with her sexual orientation. Maybe they would apologize for the way they reacted. The only way to find out would be to see them again. Bon Bon wasn’t naïve, though – she knew that odds were her parents would still be as narrow-minded as ever. But she couldn’t squelch that tiny bit of optimism inside of her that insisted that everything could be okay. As she had boarded the train, she was mad at Applejack for giving her what would almost certainly be false hope. So she spent the train ride to Foal Mountain in a foul mood, preparing herself for the worst. If her parents still wouldn’t accept the fact that she was gay, then she could rub their faces in the fact that she had built a successful new life for herself, all without their help. Either way, she would have her answer. And she would be at peace knowing that she had given them one last chance. The train pulled into the station and Bon Bon stepped out onto the platform with her saddlebags on her back. It was only then that she realized she wasn’t sure how she was going to find her parents. After a couple of minutes of standing by herself, deep in thought, she decided that she would go to the local market and ask if any of the residents knew where the magic-controlling government agent was living. If Apple Bumpkin had gone to the trouble of writing to Applejack about it, her father’s presence must have been relatively significant news in this area. After getting directions from the station’s information desk, Bon Bon headed toward the market. She took her time walking there. As she did, she noted that she was in a pleasant little town – not unlike Ponyville at first glance. The only significant differences were the abundance of pine trees and the fact that the architecture was predominantly in the style of log cabins and similar wooden structures. Finally, she arrived at the market. It was Saturday, so the area was bustling with numerous ponies wandering from stall to stall. Bon Bon looked around. Even though she had come all this way for this one and only reason, part of her was hesitant to walk up to a stranger and ask where her parents were. Part of her didn’t want to know what the answers to her questions would be. She told herself that there was no harm in exploring the market a little bit first – after all, if she went to the effort to travel all the way to this new town, she ought to spend some time taking it in. She spotted a stand selling chamomile-infused desserts. She decided they were exactly what she needed at that moment. A few minutes later, Bon Bon finished eating her yellow cupcake with chamomile frosting. She wondered what else the market had to offer. Maybe they had some interesting arts and crafts, too… As Bon Bon peered toward the other end of the marketplace, trying to make everything out, she heard a hesitant female voice behind her. “Sweetie…?” For a moment, it didn’t even occur to Bon Bon to respond. But she quickly realized… and the voice was unmistakable… She slowly turned around. There stood an ivory-colored earth pony. Her two-toned purple mane and tail were a little grayer, but immediately recognizable to Bon Bon nonetheless. “Mother.” “Sweetie Drops! It’s really you!” On the train ride to Foal Mountain, Bon Bon hadn’t yet come to a decision as to what she would do when she saw her parents again. Before she had a chance to react, her mother wrapped her forelegs around her in the tightest hug she could ever remember receiving. Bon Bon couldn’t bring herself to hug her back. As she stood still on all four hooves, she heard the sound of her mother crying. It reminded Bon Bon of that last day at home. A day she wanted to forget. Fifteen seconds passed. Behind Bon Bon’s head, her mother continued to cry. “Thank Celestia,” she sobbed. “Thank Celestia you’re okay.” Bon Bon looked around. The two of them were beginning to cause a scene. “Um, mom?” she said. “I was so worried about you, Sweetie.” It was only then that Bon Bon realized that she needed to get her mother to stop saying that name. She tried to break free of the hug, but couldn’t. “Mom, could we go someplace private to talk about this? It’s really important.” Bon Bon started to step forward in an effort to guide her mother out of the marketplace. Her mother finally released the hug and got down on her own four hooves. As they walked away, her mother said, “We tried to get in touch with you. But when we did, the Royal Guard said they couldn’t tell us where you were. Even though we were your parents. I kept trying, year after year, but they kept giving me the same answer. Then, after the fourth year, they said that they didn’t have any record of you anymore! We didn’t know what happened to you! We thought you had died!” Bon Bon waited until they were out of earshot of the rest of the town’s residents before responding. She scanned the wooded area they had walked into, and, confident that no other ponies were around, began to speak in a hushed tone. “I can’t tell you where I’ve been or what I did in the Royal Guard. It’s classified, and they made it very clear that I’m not allowed to ever say anything to anypony about the department I worked for. I left after four years, but the reason they didn’t have any record of me is because at the end, I had to change my identity. You can’t call me Sweetie Drops anymore. My name is Bon Bon now.” Her mother just stared at her. “The only reason I’m allowed to even tell you this much is because they said that due to dad’s work with the Magical Imbalances department, you could be trusted to keep my secret.” Her mother continued to stare. Bon Bon sighed. “I guess it is a lot to take in all at once.” For a minute, neither of them talked while her mother processed everything. “So you left after the fourth year,” she said. Bon Bon nodded. Her mother stared at the ground, piecing it all together. Finally, she asked a question. “Why didn’t you come back to us after you left?” Bon Bon winced a little. There was genuine pain in her mother’s words. But Bon Bon refused to let go of her bitterness. Especially once she realized that her mother genuinely didn’t know why she would have refused to return home. Before she could respond, though, her mother spoke again. “Did you even come here to see us?” Bon Bon had to remind herself to keep her heart hardened. “Yes,” she replied, surprised at how gentle the word sounded as she said it. She knew that she couldn’t bring herself to lash out while her mother was so emotionally vulnerable. She also decided that she didn’t want to have this conversation more than once. “Maybe it’d be better if I talked to you and dad together about all of this,” she said. After a moment, her mother agreed. She led Bon Bon out of the woods and toward a quiet neighborhood of log houses with plenty of trees in the yards. After passing a few homes, she walked up to one of the smaller houses and opened the front door. “Straight Lace?” she said before she stepped in. For the first time in nearly five years, Bon Bon heard her father’s voice. “I’m right here, Sugar Plum,” he said from just inside. “That was fast. Did you get everything?” “I…” her mother said. She looked at the open door. Bon Bon was still standing outside. With a deep breath, Bon Bon walked through the door. There, sitting in the living room, was her father. The same tan coat. The same straight black mane. The same perpetually stern expression on his face. That face changed when he registered who was standing in front of him. He didn’t smile – he almost never smiled – but it did take a few seconds before the subtle look of surprise disappeared. “Sweetie Drops,” he said. “Actually, it’s Bon Bon now,” she replied. She told him the same things she had told her mother about serving in the Royal Guard Support Corps and having to change her identity. “That would be why they didn’t know who we were talking about last time,” he said in a straightforward, explanatory tone. He stared at her. Bon Bon stared back. “So,” he said, “are you back to normal now?” And there it was. He still didn’t understand. “If you’re asking whether I’m gay,” she said, vitriol emerging as she spoke, “then yes. I’m gay. That isn’t going to change.” His tone of voice changed to match hers. “Then why are you back?” he growled. “I was hoping,” she replied, “you would have realized that forcing your daughter to work for the Royal Guard was a mistake. That after all this time, you would accept me for who I am.” “The only mistake,” he said, getting up from his chair, “apparently was thinking that the Support Corps would work. It looks like I should have taken more drastic steps to put an end to this unnatural behavior.” Bon Bon didn’t have to live in this household anymore – she didn’t have to hold back. “Unnatural?” she shouted. “You’re calling me unnatural? I’m a living equine! Your own daughter! Do you even understand how terrible that is?” “Terrible?” he shouted back. “What do you know about terrible? Do you realize what you did to this family? What you did to your mother? And now you have the nerve to come back here just to tell us that you still refuse to act like a normal pony? You’re the one who’s being terrible!” “Forget it!” she yelled. “Just forget it! I shouldn’t have bothered to come here!” “No – you shouldn’t have!” Bon Bon turned toward the door. “You thought I was dead before? Fine. Keep thinking that. Because Sweetie Drops is dead. And if you can’t accept who I am, then I don’t want you in my life!” Bon Bon stomped outside. She only wished that the door had opened outward so she could slam it shut. Instead, she angrily trotted down the street. She was headed back toward the town. Back toward the train station. Back toward her apartment, where she could pretend that this day had never happened. As she reached the end of the street, she heard her mother’s voice. “Sweetie! Please! Wait!” Bon Bon stopped and turned around. Her mother was running toward her. “It’s Bon Bon,” she hissed. “Bon Bon,” her mother corrected herself as she approached. “Please. Don’t go. I don’t want to lose you again.” She was near tears. “Sorry,” Bon Bon said. Seeing the state her mother was in, she actually was a little bit sorry. “I can’t stay. Not unless you accept the fact that I’m gay.” “I…” her mother said. She paused. She hesitated. She started to speak a couple of times, then stopped herself. Finally, she simply said, “I don’t know. I’m not sure. I just know that you’re my daughter. I miss you. I don’t want to never see you again.” Bon Bon looked at the forlorn expression on her mother’s face. She closed her eyes and exhaled. “Here,” she said. She reached into her saddlebag and pulled out a piece of paper and a pencil. After writing on it, she said, “This is my address. I live in Ponyville. If you want to write, you can.” She gave the paper to her mother. “Thank you,” her mother said. Her eyes watered. “But right now, I have to go.” A tear ran down her mother’s cheek. “Okay. Good-bye… Bon Bon. I love you.” “Good-bye, mom.”